Chapter Text
It had taken another year for Mark to fully recover physically.
Mentally, he would maybe never recover. But Yuta was okay with that. He was okay with Mark waking him up at two in the morning from nightmares. He was okay with Mark’s hesitation towards being touched in certain ways. He would take it slow, for keeping Mark in his arms was of upmost importance to him.
But there was on question that sat on the forefront of his mind.
He could never work up the courage to ask, always afraid of pushing Mark away from him. He would attempt, but the memories of Mark’s nightmares would surface and he would push the question away. Yuta came close to asking once, but was interrupted by their manager who wished to review Mark’s contract.
But today… today Yuta would ask. He was completely alone with Mark, the other males choosing to spend their day off with friends. There would be nobody to interrupt, nobody to pull Mark away, nobody to hear Mark if he began to cry. It was perfect.
Yuta took the time to prepare for the moment, setting up their room to the upmost comfort. He stole all the pillows from the other members’ rooms and placed them on the bed, along with all the blankets. He had a tray with hot chocolate placed on the nightstand, three bags of popcorn laying next to them. On their TV played a random movie, one neither particularly cared about.
How Yuta set it all up in the time Mark spent in the shower Yuta didn’t know—but it was perfect.
When Mark entered the room again, he was surprised to see such a set up. He looked at Yuta questionably, but ignored him in favor of pulling one of said male’s hoodies on. He discarded his towel on the floor, leaving the damp fabric in a clump. “What’s all this about?” He asked as he made his way onto the bed next to Yuta.
Yuta smiled. “I wanted to make you comfortable…” the smile slowly faded away. “…I have something I wanted to ask you.”
Mark sighed and nodded his head. “I was waiting for you to ask.” He put his head on Yuta’s shoulder and his arms around the older’s torso, attempting to disappear. “Just ask.”
“I don’t-“ Yuta ran his fingers through Mark’s hair. “I don’t want to force you.”
“It’s okay oppa. If I have to share it with anyone I’d rather it be you.”
“Okay then…” Ignoring the way his heart jumped at being called oppa, Yuta pushed the question past his lips. “Why did you try to-ya know-kill you…r…self?”
Mark giggled at Yuta’s inability to say the word. It was endearing. “I was desperate.”
“Desperate?” Yuta’s fingers stopped, but started up again when Mark whined in protest. “It was because of desperation?”
“I… I was scared you know? I wanted to see everyone again so badly but I didn’t think it was going to happen. That officer that dragged me away told me he was going to make sure the world knew I was dead, so I didn’t think you’d come for me. But as much as I wanted to live, I didn’t want to love fulfilling someone else’s fantasies.”
“Fantasies?”
“She had so many plans. She had this whole ideal life planned out for her and myself… things that I want to do with you.” Mark wiped at a few stray tears. “I-I tried to just imagine it was you…” his voice cracked, and more tears fell from his eyes. “I thought that if I pretended she was you I could survive just a little longer. But it felt so wrong! She isn’t, and won’t ever be you! I felt so horrible for thinking in such a way…”
Yuta wiped at his own tears. “I don’t blame you Mark. I… I would do the same if it were me. Living in sweet fantasies to survive…”
Mark smiled the tiniest bit. “After a while I figured I should try and get on her good side. But even when I was on her good side, she never let me out of the house. She was too possessive, and she refused to let others so much as catch a glimpse of me. So any means of escape that way were trashed. But then she… she tried to…”
“What did she try to do? Mark-baby-please tell me? You know I’ll never judge. I only want to know so I can understand better.”
“She… tried to move our relationship to the next level. And when I pushed her away and denied her she hit me pretty hard. I knew I was in the dumps again, so I used the stuff in the room to… you know.”
“Oh Mark…” Yuta pulled Mark into the tightest hug he could. “You’re so brave you know? I can’t think of anyone who could survive a situation like that.” He moved the younger’s face into his hands, gently holding his world. “You are amazing.”
“Am I?” Mark giggled.
“You are! You woke up at just the right time too!”
“I woke up before that. I was too afraid to show Hannah that I was awake though.”
“What? I don’t understand what you mean.”
Mark silently traced the features of Yuta’s face, softly moving his finger along the skin. “I woke up about a week before she grabbed you. Right when I woke up I heard Hannah talking to that officer about how you went to the detective about reopening the case. When I heard your name and that you were coming for me, my heart kept in joy. So I decided to keep my eyes closed and not show any signs of being awake so-“
“-so they wouldn’t move you to a different location.”
“Right.” Mark giggled. “It’s a lot harder to move a body that’s half-dead than alive.”
“You’re brilliant. You and your brilliant brain that kept you alive… alive for me to come for you.”
“I’m glad you came for me.”
“And I’m glad that you stayed alive for me.”
“I’d do anything to be back in your arms oppa.”
“And I’d do anything to keep you in my arms.”