Chapter Text
It burns going down. Tommy can't tell if the choked sound he makes is another gag from the taste or a sob of defeat.
Technoblade sighs, this time the sound meaning relief. " Finally. Jeez, you don't know when to quit, do you?" He snorts.
He sounds unbothered. Like he hasn't just drugged Tommy. Like he hasn't abducted Tommy and completely ignored his every desperate plea to leave. Like any of this is okay.
The anger is sudden but welcome. It burns hot in his belly and even hotter in his face. He can feel more tears welling up, blurring his vision, but Tommy doesn't fucking care. He's too angry. He's so angry.
He screams again, this time a furious thing.
" You fucker! You motherfucker! I hate you! I fucking- fuck!" He doesn't even know what he's saying. He doesn't know if it's making any sense but it stokes the burning in his stomach, helping it spread to his chest and the rest of his body. His struggles return full-force, even if he knows deep down it's a futile endeavor.
And yet, it's not. Because one moment, Tommy is snarling and shrieking, wriggling like a fox caught in a net, the next he's tumbled onto the soft blankets.
He freezes in surprise. The shock of cool air and free limbs after what felt like an eternity of neither is a confusing thing to process.
And then he hears Technoblade chuff and the blankets behind Tommy shift. His brain finally catches up. He's free . He needs to escape. To get out of here and get far, far away from Technoblade.
Tommy scrambles forward, trying to put more distance between himself and the brute before he attempts to stand. But his legs give out before he can even put any weight on them.
He collapses back to the ground with a cry. The soft blankets thankfully cushioning his fall. But Tommy is more focused on the fact that he can't seem to stand.
He pushes himself back to all fours, limbs shaking, burning with the effort. His chest heaves hot, gasping, breaths of air. Just a moment ago, the room has seemed so cool after so long restrained by piglins, but now the entire room feels like a fucking sauna.
He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what's happening. His body is- it's burning. Tommy's on fire.
His arms give out. Tommy collapses back to the blankets with a whine. His heart is pounding. He can't tell if it's from panic or- or whatever this is.
"I know. I'm sorry. The first time always hurts. There's nothing I can do. I'm here, runt. You're not alone." A large hand begins to rub soothing circles into Tommy's back. He turns his head so his cheek is pressed into some hoglin fur and he can glare up at Technoblade.
"What did- I can't- I can't breathe-" He gasps. It's true. His chest- his lungs .
No. No wait it's- his head. Oh gods his head. It's cracking open, it's going to break. His vision whites out and he feels his body spasm but that only makes the pain in his chest worse .
He doesn't- he doesn't know what it is but there's a fucking pressure inside him. It keeps pressing and pressing boiling Tommy from the inside out. His vision blurs and the sad expression Technoblade has fades out of his sight.
He thinks he hears a noise. High-pitched. Loud. It's only when it stops and Tommy inhales a gasping full breath that he realizes it was coming from him.
His eyelids flutter, vision swimming back into focus. Technoblade is closer now and there's a heat surrounding him. Not just from the inside this time. He feels the cushion under his head shift and Tommy realizes he's back in the piglin's lap. Cradled like a child.
"-okay. You're okay. I know it's painful. You're doing so well. Such a strong runt. You're perfect. So perfect for me," the words seep into Tommy's awareness slowly but even as he hears and processes them, they don't make sense.
The pain is still present. Throbbing through his body on beat with his heart. His eyes burn with tears that don't seem to want to fall. Tommy tries to open his mouth to beg for the pain to end but a stabbing in his throat just leads to him gurgling unintelligible sounds.
Technoblade's eyes snap to Tommy's still. "Hey, hey. It's alright. Still raw? Give it a few more minutes before you try again, okay runt?" A hot hand runs through Tommy's hair, doing nothing to ease the agony.
Tommy opens his mouth again, despite Technoblade's advice but he doesn't get a chance to try again. Technoblade chuffs before he does.
He's been doing it quite a bit, but this time, for some reason, is different. Tommy hears the noise and- and-
His gargled words choke off into a breathy wheeze. He doesn't- what was that-?
Technoblade seems to notice the reaction. "Oh? Well, aren't you an overachiever? I hear usually the instincts come in after their first shift. Just have to be different don't you?" He leans down nudging Tommy gently with his snout.
Tommy doesn't know what the hell the brute is talking about, nor does he care. Because the burning is coming back. Hotter and hotter, racing up and down his spine. His limbs spasm again and his head tilts back in a silent scream-
There's a rumble right next to his ear. Smooth and low. It's a purr, but some part of Tommy's brain knows it's more than that. That the purr means he's safe. That Tommy is safe and that everything is okay and he just needs to relax and let his Protector take care of everything.
Then the rest of Tommy's brain catches up with those thoughts. What the fuck??
But the second he tries to question those weird thoughts - the second he pushes out his awareness - Tommy is screaming.
He thought the pain was bad before, but it was nothing compared to what he's now experiencing. He shrieks louder and higher than he's ever managed. It sounds almost like a- like a-
The thought slips away before it's even complete because the agony is unbearable. Tommy has no room in his mind to think about anything except the pain. The horrible, indescribable pain. The pain that never seems to end and never will end because this is all there is. Pain, pain, pain painpain painpainpain-
Safe-safe-calm. Safe-mine-calm. Safe-good-mine-calm.
The feelings trickle into Tommy in small, repetitive spurts. It's a balm to the agony consuming his thoughts, gently brushing aside the sensations.
Safe-safe-calm.
Tommy is...safe. Tommy can be calm.
Safe-mine-calm.
Tommy's safe. He's safe and he's calm and he's- he's with-
Safe-mine-good-calm.
Protector. Protector is keeping Tommy safe. Tommy is with him so everything is good and safe and calm. He falls into the emotions, the pain fading out of his perception. Some part of Tommy is still aware of the agony but he can't focus on it. There's no reason to. Because Tommy is safe and calm. Tommy is with his Protector.
Safe-runt. Runt-mine .
Yes. Yes, Tommy is safe and he belongs with his Protector. The rumble coming from Protector rattles all the way through Tommy, shaking away the last sensations of pain. He's floating in the rumble, drifting and drifting. He's never felt so safe and calm in his life.
Yet a distracting sort of itch presses into his awareness. It's a buzzing feeling, deep in his chest. He shifts, breathing harshly, trying to dislodge it. But that just makes the itch worse. He squirms, but Protector easily pins him in place. Hands almost as large as his chest keep him pressed to Protector. The rumbling is so much louder with his ear pressed to the source. It rattles through his brain, turning his thoughts to mush, his limbs unable to move. But the itch is still present. Tommy opens his mouth, intending to whine for help but it comes out as a cough.
It's…almost soothing for the itch, so Tommy makes himself cough again. And again. Something takes over him, a subconscious part of himself he's never noticed before.
Instinct.
The cough slides into a chuff, and finally, the itch subsides. Tommy keeps doing it, chuffs pouring from him in between squeaks and grunts. It feels right. He's never made these sounds before but right now he doesn't care. It's self-soothing and it makes the rumble from Protector grow louder, stronger.
He finds himself trying to mimic the sound and- oh, yes. That is perfect. His purr is shaky but grows louder with his confidence.
Hot breath brushes over Tommy's head seconds before a snout nudges him gently.
"My perfect runt." Protector purrs. Tommy squirms again, this time out of excitement. Protector chuckles, not restricting the movement. It takes him a moment to realize this, because something else is binding his body. He grunts, frustrated, trying to kick the object off. He can feel the weight of it and hear the sound of it flapping with his kicks.
"Let me help you there." Protector chuffs. Tommy feels himself lifted, his head tipped back. Something glides across his legs, tickling his hair. Huh. He doesn't remember having hair on his legs. Not this much.
He's distracted from the thought by a sudden chill. Tommy whines, tucking his legs close to Protector, seeking out his warmth. Protector chuffs safe-safe and Tommy relaxes. He's safe. Tommy's safe.
"You're goin' to be all sweet now, hm? What happened to all that fire, runt?" Protector hums. A warm hand curls around Tommy's legs, blocking out the chill. Tommy purrs satisfaction.
"Look at you…to think I almost let you go." Protector sighs and the hold around Tommy tightens. "You're gold. Perfect. Mine-mine-mine."
Every chuff sends Tommy soaring higher. Yes, yes, yes! It is so wonderful when Protector chuffs for Tommy. Tommy deserves more of that sound. He squeaks, wiggling his arm free to latch onto Protector. His hand smacks against something hard. Protector grunts and there's another puff of hot air across Tommy's palm.
"Ouch," Protector says, "spoke too soon about your fire, I guess. Good."
Protector doesn't chuff but he does purr louder which is…fine. Tommy likes the purr. He tries to match it with his own but his voice shakes with the effort. There's something there that's just to the right of pain but not fully. It's difficult to keep up his purr because of this, Tommy finds. The sound wavers and dips as he struggles.
His face scrunches as he tries to focus and…there's something different there too. His mouth and nose especially feel…different. Tommy tests this, swiveling his jaw and flaring his nostrils. Yes, there is something different. He finds he can twitch his nose much more than before. He snuffles, flaring the new muscle.
Protector snorts, "havin' fun there?"
Tommy frowns. Or, well, he tries his best to do so. His mouth is still being weird. But the real problem currently is that Protector laughing at him. He's laughing. He shouldn't do that. He's supposed to chuff and purr and love Tommy.
Tommy curls his lip and squeals. He waves his arm again, this time trying to smack Protector. His hand, no, his entire arm is caught in an inescapable hold. Tommy snorts and tries to tug his arm free but fails. He growls and then whines. Why isn't Protector helping him? Can't he see Tommy is stuck?
There's another gush of hot air over Tommy's trapped hand.
"You're so small, " Protector says, "this can't be normal. I know runts are- runts but this…" Protector trails off into another chuff. Which is what Tommy wants but he's still stuck. What is trapping him?
Then Tommy remembers he has eyes . He can just…look, right?
It takes more effort than he expected to make his eyelids cooperate. They feel glued together with goop and tears. One arm is still trapped to his side and the other restrained so he can't rub his face. Tommy settles on twisting closer to Protecter and dragging his face along the brute's torso. Though, he finds he has to angle his head more than he expected when his nose squishes into Protector's fur.
The scent of Protector is nice but now Tommy's nose hurts and he can't see. This is terrible. He squeaks again, pulling his head back only to smack it forward again in his frustration.
"Hey, careful. You don't know your own strength yet." Tommy feels Protector's hand cup the side of his head so pull him away. Yes! Protector will help him. He twists as best as he can manage, trying to rub the eye boogers off onto Protector.
"What's wrong, runt? What do you need?" Protector hums. "Talk to me. I'll help you."
Tommy is trying but Protector isn't listening. Tommy growls and twists harder, this time to rub his face into his own shoulder. His nose keeps getting in the way .
" Oh . I think I see the problem." Finally , Tommy feels gentle digits prodding at his eyes, scraping at the crust. Tommy falls limp, content to let Protector do his job.
Lazy Protector. Took him long enough. He's lucky Tommy is so nice to him.
"There, how's that?" Protector's fingers pull away. Tommy waits for a moment in case they return but he receives a tiny jostle for it. He whines in response.
"Oh, come on, runt. I want to see your eyes. I'm so curious." Protector nudges Tommy again. "Please? Be good for me?"
Tommy…can't resist. He wants to be good. It's a need that curls into his thoughts, pushing him to crack his eyes open.
At first, all he sees is a swirl of lights and colors. He glances around, taking in blobs of yellow and red and shiny and dark. He blinks, his eyes burning with the effort but his vision clears slightly.
He keeps doing it, watching the world come into focus. It's…still not great. There's a slight blurriness to the world that Tommy doesn't remember there being before.
But he sees the red shape hovering over him and Tommy can smell him. This is Protector. Tommy's Protector.
He coos, reaching his arm up again towards Protector.
Oh, wait. His arm is free. That's nice.
But…there's something wrong.
He brings his hand closer to his own face, squinting to make out the blurry details. His arm is…yellow? He grunts confusion-question, nosing at the appendage. He jerks back with a squeal when he finds how soft it is.
He thinks he can hear Protector laughing again but Tommy ignores him. This is serious. Is this really his arm?
He sniffs it, finding nothing out of the ordinary. It smells like his arm, even if it is soft. And small. And weird.
Now that he's looking though, Tommy wonders about the rest of his body. He follows the length of his arm, gaze trailing all the way down to his chest.
More yellow. More soft hair. He snorts quietly to himself as he explores his limbs. Legs, torso, even his face though can't see it. All of it is soft.
He also finds out why his mouth feels off. It's longer , somehow. He pats the side of his nose, feeling the muscle move under his hand.
"You are hilarious," Protector is still watching Tommy, chuckling to himself.
A hand, as large as Tommy's entire head, comes into his view. He feels one of those giant fingers poking at his lips. Tommy grunts louder, not moving away but unsure of what Protector is doing.
"Your tusks are still so tiny. That's adorable." The finger is poking at Tommy's gums, running along his teeth. He has an odd sense of deja vu for a moment but it's washed away by a feeling of outrage. Tommy's tusks aren't tiny!
He twists his head slightly, getting a better angle to clamp his jaw down on Protector's finger. He'll show Protector how tiny he is!
Protector grunts. Ha! Take that.
"Good job. You got me." Protector praises and- oh. Tommy likes that. Protector is proud of him. He is a good runt. Tommy purrs and releases Protector's finger. He hears Protector match the sound with his own and it only sends Tommy spiraling further. Protector is happy and Tommy is happy.
"Perfect. My perfect runt," Protector rumbles, tracing gentle fingers along Tommy's face. The touch is so light it tickles and Tommy squirms under it.
"I can't believe I almost let you go. I'm going to have to reward Nevin. He brought me such a perfect treasure." Protector snorts. "He's going to be insufferable about this, I bet."
Nevin…sounds familiar. It makes Tommy think of a restraining hold and fear. He whines, pleading for Protector.
He responds, quick as a flash, tucking Tommy even closer with comforting chuffs. Tommy sighs and relaxes once more.
"You," Protector says, "are going to be furious once your instincts settle. I'm going to have my work cut out for me, won't I?"
Tommy doesn't understand what that means, but Protector doesn't seem to be looking for an actual response.
"I'll make you happy, though. I swear it. You'll be treasured, cherished, spoiled. Only the best for my golden runt. Whatever you want, I'll provide."
Tommy purrs louder. Protector's voice is buzzing around inside his mind. The deep rumble whispering of safe-love-comfort . He's barely keeping up with what Protector is actually saying. As long as he keeps rumbling in that safe-love-comfort tone, Tommy doesn't care what he says.
"I wish I got your name, though. I'll have to come up with something else to call you for the time being," Protector hums, "I'll think on it."
He pauses, and the safe-love-comfort fades a bit. Tommy grunts, raising a hand to lazily swipe the air. Protector snorts but he begins to speak again anyway. Good.
"My demanding runt, already so spoiled. You are going to run me into the ground, aren't you? Maybe that's what I'll use Nevin for. Babysitting." Protector snickers and Tommy manages the tiniest hum. Everything feels slow and syrupy and warm.
Then Protector moves Tommy, jostling him. It pulls him a bit out of that syrup and he whines in protest.
The world feels like it's tilting for a moment before he's laid across something that smells entirely of Protector-Protector-warm-safe. It allows him to sink back into the slow syrup.
The last thing he remembers is a feeling of safety and love surrounding him as Protector purrs.