Chapter Text
When Tommy woke up from his nap, the creatures had ripped out chips inserted in their arms. They assured Tommy to not worry about the blood in the water, their wounds had already healed.
Then Tommy got on Techno’s back and they were on their way to the next cave. His oxygen levels were getting to a concerning amount, with only another hour left if Tommy didn’t intake too much oxygen.
The water never got warmer. His hands trembled from the biting cold ocean as he clutched onto Techno. The currents kept attempting to toss Tommy off Techno, but Techno’s large hands enveloped Tommy’s and anchored him down.
Just like last time, Tommy breached the surface when he least expected it. Tommy blinked, clearing the water from his eyes, and glanced up at the sky.
The Milky Way glanced back down at him, the water ink black as the moon tried, but failed, to illuminate the world. Yet the stars managed to still make the sky shine, like nothing Tommy has ever seen before.
He’s never thought about how people used to see the night sky back then and be able to draw a picture with their finger, telling a story of how a person was made into a constellation. Yet now it made sense. When there are millions of stars to connect, Tommy would’ve also made a story up.
The four of them rode up and down the calm waves. Tommy leaned his entire body weight onto Techno, exhausted from it all. At this point, he can’t even pinpoint why he’s exhausted. He simply is.
Some people may want to say that they want to go home, get away from all these problems, but Tommy doesn’t have a home. The problems are always stuck with him.
“Cold, Tommy? Hungry, Tommy?” Wilbur took out a granola bar and opened it, handing it to Tommy. Lethargically, Tommy accepted it and swallowed it in three bites to get as less ocean water on the food. He pocketed the wrapper and rested his head on Techno’s shoulder, eyes half open as he peered at Wilbur and Phil.
For some reason, Tommy thought they would’ve shone in the ocean. The scales would brighten with the ocean waters and be something like a jellyfish. Instead, they look like any other human who’s swimming during the night.
Phil’s hair stuck to his forehead in thin streaks and Wilbur looked stupid. Typical humans.
“Okay, Tommy? More swim, okay?” Wilbur brushed Tommy’s hair to the side. Sliding his hands down, he cupped one of Tommy’s cheeks and tilted his head up to meet Wilbur’s gaze square on.
Love-love-reassurance-believe was sung in trembled notes and slid into his heart like a content cat about to doze off in the cozy sunlight. Tommy blinked, and though his expression didn’t change from his thin lips, Wilbur smiled.
Techno handed Tommy his regulator, and with a defeated sigh, Tommy placed it in his mouth. They dived back into the ocean, looking for a place to rest.
——
Tommy tilted his oxygen tanks just right, the sunlight filtering through tiny punctures in the ceiling. Not enough light to see if there were any stalagmites to trip Tommy, but enough to see the arrow on top of the tank pointing to the red: empty.
They had gotten lucky. Too late had Tommy noticed that the tank was on its last drip. Tommy thinks he took out his regulator and screamed bloody murder, hitting his tank with his knuckles and trying to click bad-bad-bad . Somehow they had found a cave to settle within what felt like mere seconds to Tommy.
Yet this hiccup in their escape has Tommy biting at his lips. The cave is above water, and Tommy assumes, near land too.
Where do they go next? What do they do? Tommy’s sick of obstacles, for once he wants to enjoy a clear road in his fucking life and not worry about every pebble he crosses.
Throwing the tanks further into the cave, the two thumping their way down, he slumped to the ground. Knees tucked into his chest, arms looped around, he set his head down and closed his eyes.
Fuck this. He wishes he had an easy life. Where he has loving parents that only have one job and own a house. Friends that support him and a social life that doesn’t depend on blood and toxic masculinity.
Then again, he isn’t Cinderella. All of his grandparents are alive last time he checked and none of them even remember his name. No bibbidi-bobbidi-boo for him. No happy ending for him.
“Tommy? Hungry, cold?” Wilbur breached the water and swam towards Tommy. At least, Tommy thinks. There wasn't any glow lichen to aid Tommy and the few peppered sunlight streaks barely illuminated the pools.
Techno and Phil were right behind, most likely steadily swimming. From the few times the three passed a sunlight beam, Tommy could tell that Techno was holding a couple of fish, what looked to be tuna, though the blood dripping from their chewed-off heads made it harder to identify. Phil was in a similar boat but with a different kind of fish Tommy couldn’t identify.
Tommy didn’t answer the question, his constricting stomach staying quiet in the usual hunger. He listened as Wilbur pulled himself up beside Tommy, his tail slapping with a quench against the stone, and pulled out the last granola bar with its crinkly wrapper.
“Hungry?” Wilbur took Tommy’s limp hand and placed the bar on it, frowning when Tommy made no move.
Hey-look clicked Phil, both Wilbur and Tommy snapping their eyes up to him. He placed the tuna on the floor between Wilbur’s tail and Tommy’s feet, slicing into the fish with one of his claws. The flesh parted easily beneath Phil’s actions.
Barely Tommy could see how Phil cubed up the fish, removing all the bones and scales.
When that same flesh was in Phil’s hand, it stretching towards Tommy, he picked up the meat. Why should he be afraid of Phil? He’s done nothing but care for him.
This fish, on the other hand, he’s somewhat afraid that that’ll give him rabies if he eats it. If fish even have rabies.
“Fish safe. Human safe. Good food.” Phil explained, his teeth sinking into the fish and offering Tommy a bloody tooth smile.
“Hmmmm,” he analyzed the meat, squeezing it and being surprised at how soft it was. He’s never had sushi, would this count if he eats it? Don’t people eat raw fish either way?
Shrugging his shoulders, he popped the cubed meat in his mouth. Chewing on it wasn’t as bad an experience as he expected. The buttery flavor with a mild saltiness to it was better than most meals Tommy’s had.
When Phil offered his hand with meat, Tommy snatched both pieces. Wilbur trilled annoyance-annoyance and Tommy shrieked when Wilbur wrapped his arms around Tommy’s shoulder and hauled him closer. Before Wilbur could achieve victory, Tommy gobbled down the meat and tried his best to not choke from the laughter that wanted to escape him.
Wilbur grumbled some trills, the emotions swirling in Tommy's head as he couldn’t place the meaning to them. Either way, Tommy won and Wilbur was still a bitch.
Neither of them moved from their position though. Tommy leaned into Wilbur’s embrace, the other draping his arm around Tommy and rumbling some notes. With Phil practically spoon-feeding Tommy fish and Wilbur’s soothing, lyrical notes, Tommy’s eyes fluttered down.
He wasn’t exactly tired. This run-and-stop lifestyle is not something foreign to him. However, he felt like he was at the mercy of the waves. Never being able to tell when the lows and highs are about to come, never knowing what will be washed away, and if calm waters or a tsunami is coming. A constant back-and-forth that has Tommy desiring stillness.
Two coos and Tommy were sung, something Tommy might’ve ignored, but Wilbur jumped at it. Instantly, he shot his eyes open and straightened his back, knees bent and arm ready to push him up into a sprint.
Hey -another two coos and Tommy were sung and Tommy’s attention was focused on Phil. More tuna was in his hand, cubed in perfect bite-sized pieces. Reaching for them slowly, Tommy observed Phil’s face. The man smiled and made the two coos again, yet the feeling didn’t make sense.
It was like balloons were strung on Tommy’s heart, lifting it above rainbows and fluffy clouds. It was a first kiss with electricity seemingly going through his spine. It was what Tommy imagines his dad’s hugs might be like; hearty and his hairy arms cocooning him. Though there was one element that his dad missed that these coos had; love.
Not romantic or sexual. A love that an older sibling has for their younger sibling. A love that an owner has for their pet. A love that a parent has for their child.
Tears caressed Tommy’s cheeks. In the back of his mind, he thought of how he wouldn’t be able to taste the saltiness since his face is already wet from the ocean water. At the front of his mind, it was having a crisis.
Through the past months, and especially in the past days, his heart was sinking into despair knowing that he’ll never have a deep connection with the three. He was a human with a throat that couldn’t speak in their language and a heart that trembled at the slightest shows of affection. No one would want that. No one has wanted that since he was a child.
Now all his birthday wishes are finally being gifted to him; someone who will accept him. Even if this cave is where he dies, his lifetime goal has been fulfilled.
Tommy launched in Phil’s arms, the man catching him like he’s been doing this for years. The same two coos were repeated over and over again, a few calm and love being sung as well.
Which gave Tommy a pause. If he can understand the whistle love in their language, then what the fuck were the two coos? What could overpower an emotion like that?
“Tommy,” he raised his head and locked with Phil’s crescent eyes. A claw rested on the back of Tommy’s neck, Phil lightly scratching the baby hairs on the end.
“Join us? You creature? Us safe and love. You no hunger.” Phil pursed his lips to coo the previous dizzying coo, making Tommy’s chest like it was filled with helium.
Tommy’s mouth dropped open as he stared into Phil’s eyes. Slowly, his eyes drifted down to watch Phil’s tail swaying back and forth to keep them afloat and all the scales that ride up his body.
Would Tommy have all that? His own tail, a throat that can speak their language, ears that can understand their language, a family?
Thoughts swirled around Tommy, each one a flash in his head.
He wasn’t against becoming a creature. There’s nothing much that’s tying him to stay on land nor any goals he wanted to complete. He’s only dreamt of having a family and flying.
However, isn’t swimming just flying through water? It certainly felt like that as the water rushed past him to get to the next destination, ears plugged from the pressure, and chest having difficulty breathing. Yet it was exhilarating to go at such a speed.
And imagine all the freedom that he’ll have if he becomes a creature. Scientists have only discovered ten percent of the ocean yet satellites are constantly taking pictures of the air. The ultimate freedom would be where no one can see or touch him.
The ocean is the answer to all his dreams and problems.
This family– possibly his family if he dares to be hopeful– is the answer to all he’s ever wanted.
Tommy wrapped his arms around Phil and hid his face in the nook of his shoulder. Phil did his two coos and question , rubbing Tommy’s back.
Timidly nodding his head, praying that this isn’t some sick joke before they decide to leave him with his heart crushed for the last time, he agreed, “Yes, I want to join you.”
——
Phil looked down at the boy in his arms, the human limp from a song that put him into a deep sleep. Deep enough that he won’t wake up even in the most life-threatening situations.
Wilbur was in front of him, his eyes twinkling in excitement and soft coos of adoration-love-love escaping him as he attempted to fluff Tommy’s. Yet above water, Tommy’s hair stuck to his forehead like a starfish to its rock. Only underwater is Tommy’s hair fluffy, the blond waves floating around him like a halo and sparkling like gold in the sunshine.
Phil can’t wait to see it every day. To caress it when it’s Tommy’s sleep time or ruffle it to encourage him when he roughhouses with his brothers.
He can’t wait to meet Tommy. No language barrier, no humans hunting his family, no more stress that’s weighing Tommy’s smile into a permanent scowl.
Techno surfaced from below and gave a nod, “We’re safe. We’ll be back home before he ends his transformation.” He trilled and clicked, but in Phil’s mind, he didn’t need to translate it as he does for the English tongue. Another thing to be happy about; he doesn’t need to speak that wretched language anymore.
“Let’s begin then,” Phil trilled back and gave one last kiss to Tommy’s forehead. Everything will turn out fine.
Ducking down into the water, Phil kept a steady grip on Tommy. With Tommy’s next inhale, his body realized that something was wrong. Yet Tommy continued to sleep, eyes fluttering behind his eyelids but never opening up. Bubbles escaped from Tommy’s throat and nose until eventually, none more came out. His eyes were still, chest silent.
Not wasting a moment, Phil took his claws and made three thin slashes against both sides of Tommy’s neck. Ribbons of blood began to pour out, which Phil swiftly stopped by placing his hands on the slashes.
Phil took a deep breath in, reminiscing the other two times when he’s had to do this, and began to sing,
“From dawn to dusk, air is what they breathed. From birth till death, legs are how they traveled. From first breath till last, rhythm is what they spoke. Oh Mother, please accept this new child of yours and let them see the glory of what you behold,” the sparse water around them began to be filled with small glow squid, their eyes all pointed towards Tommy.
The Ocean has heard his request.
Slowly, the temperature began to drop around the two. Techno and Wilbur were below them, tails swinging methodically in sync, fins moving freely and not pressed tightly to their scalp from the freezing waters. Good, his boys were out of the range for the turning.
Phil kept a close eye on Tommy’s chest, now waiting for the Ocean to do their part. The glow squid had surrounded them, impartial to the frigid waters. Phil let go of his hold on Tommy’s neck and held him by his armpits instead.
In the next moment, their tentacles caressed Tommy’s legs, neck, and head. With each swipe, a trail of translucent blue liquid was left on. It was especially thick where the three slashes were, the blood completely covered up and only blue in sight.
This when on for minutes, until finally–
Tommy’s chest heaved in a gulp of water and bubbles came out of his gills.
The turning was not over, and won’t be over for another couple of weeks. Tommy’s tail needs to be formed, his eyes need to adjust, his vocal cords will be stretched, and much more for his body to be ready to live in the deep waters.
For now, though, all they need is for Tommy to be able to breathe underwater to transport him to his new home. Since that’s done now–
Phil peered down and trilled to Techno, “It’s time to go home.”
——
The stress and anxiety of having a merling in the open waters is something Phil wishes to never experience again. A thin film surrounded Tommy’s legs now, the beginning of a tail being developed underneath it, and it was one small rip away from being damaged and the process start all over.
Due to this, they had to stay near the surface of the waters to keep clear of the jagged ravines. That also meant Techno was constantly above Phil, keeping an eye for any dangers around them. Wilbur was below, the safest spot as other species tend to steer away from the merfolk.
Tommy, his merling , was pressed against Phil’s chest. His eyes were shut and wouldn’t open until the transformation was complete. Until then, he sleeps and is unconsciously forming a bond with Phil as his caregiver.
The bond is loose sand for now, tickling the back of his head and brain. Tommy’s emotions come in waves, mostly peace. Occasionally terror would flash by, a nightmare, and Phil would croon sire-sire-safe . Tommy would then attempt to croon back safe-love-sire but it would only come out as babbles.
Phil’s heart would melt every time. He can’t wait to have the bond harden to sandstone and embrace Tommy fully in their pod.
Once they reach home, Techno will strengthen his role as the protector as well. Teaching Tommy how to hunt and hide, showing him the hierarchy of their pond, and knowing that Tommy will forever be their treasure.
Wilbur on the other hand is doing just fine establishing himself as a podmate.
As they transverse at a rapid speed through the great Ocean, Wilbur sings tunes that were passed down generations ago. A step towards teaching Tommy their language and feeling comforted whenever he hears these songs later in life. Techno and himself join in from time to time, whistling their tunes that are associated with their role in the pod.
Tommy sleeps through it all, his gills fluttering as they learn how to function.
——
Waking up makes Tommy unsure if he’s in a lucid dream or not. His body feels out of tune, like a broken bone yet with no discomfort. As he listens to the sounds around him, he doesn’t know how to conceptualize what could make a sound like a slow-moving waterfall.
He opens his eyes, ready to investigate. Dream or not, none of this makes sense.
The world around him is tainted in a blue hue and dim. Where he expects a popcorn ceiling and wooden floors, he’s met with stone walls. There’s no window to show him the sunrise, only a tunnel a few meters above his head that leads to endless darkness.
Tommy’s chest slowly seizes, his vision tunneling and gaze stuck on the tunnel. Focused on only his panic, Tommy doesn’t realize the tweets of panic-danger-panic-sire that were leaving his mouth.
Calm-calm-safe is trilled from the tunnel, Phil quickly merging and scooping Tommy up to his chest. Like a switch, the panic dissipates into sea foam and the purr rumbling underneath his ear only furthers his relaxation.
In the back of his mind, Tommy notes that he’s being moved around. The sensation of water sliding past his face and arms doesn’t go untouched by him, however, he doesn’t have the care right now to wonder why he’s surrounded by water.
As time passes, his throat begins to tickle. It’s not quite coughing or sneezing, but another movement. Tommy doesn’t realize what it is until he hears a second purr adding to the mix. It was shaky and high-pitched, stuttering every so often, yet replicating the purr from Phil nonetheless.
Belatedly, Tommy noticed the itch was gone from his throat and that it was vibrating to the same tune as the high-pitched purr.
Okay, what the actual fuck was going on?
Tommy peeled back the blanket on his mind and welcomed the clarity back. Opening his eyes again, the bubble of questions that was steadily growing pops when he sees a tail attached to his torso.
The events of him agreeing to be a creature and then falling asleep under a serene song rolls back into his memory. The feeling of warmth and being embraced floated around him too, though no memory surfaced to the top to know when these sensations exactly occurred.
He rested his head on his caregiver, sire, observing his tail as he attempted to command it to move back and forth. It vaguely worked, but only the fins moved and not the entire body bass of his tail.
Shit, is he gonna have to learn how to swim? Is he equivalent to a human infant right now, completely helpless and relying solely on the people around him to make sure he lives? If he is, fuck that.
Yet the thought didn’t go much further than that. The depth of his boiling rage to be dependent on others is oddly silent. He can still feel it simmering in his heart, but the heat was gone.
Tommy doesn’t know how to feel about that.
He stares at his tail, willing it to move once again, and relaxes his muscles until his body is molded to his caregiver’s chest.
Wait, what? Caregiver?
“Hey mate, sorry for leaving you. It was only for a moment and it was to grab this,” Phil– caregiver? – held up a fish that was struggling to get out of his hold, yet no fins were found to aid the fish in its endeavor.
“Don’t mind the lack of fins, that’s just so the fish can’t escape but is still fresh when we eat it. Speaking of which, it’s time for you to eat.” Caregiver– or was it fucking Phil because Tommy needs to figure out what to call him– gently pushes Tommy to where he first woke up.
He left the little nook Tommy was in and dived down, making Tomy realize that he was on top of a ledge and there was an entire room below him. The walls were covered with glow lichen and the furthest wall from him had a gradient of seashells lodged to the wall. Chests made from some sort of green material were shoved in the corners and silky sand was piled on the floor like it was a carpet.
There were plenty of other small details Tommy didn’t have time to appreciate, like the floating bottles of what Tommy could only describe as an elixir. But Phil came back up and stole Tommy’s attention, particularly the fish.
A slab of stone was in his caregiver's hands, the still fish on top with a slit across its head.
“Typically I’ll just cut the fish in my hands and feed my merling, but I wanted you to try out your claws.” Phil scooted closer to Tommy until the stone slab was lightly pressed on his tail. His caregiver gently picked up Tommy’s hand and rotated it as he talked.
“Right now your claws are quite soft so you don’t injure yourself, but they’ll harden within a few days. So don’t worry if you don’t cut anything, this’ll just let you get used to the sensations.” Phil guided Tommy’s hand to the fish, his claws scraping the scales.
Tommy took some control back of his hand, but not enough for Phil to release his hold. He extended his claws like one would their toes and attempted to penetrate the fish. Just as Phil said though, his claws did nothing more than scrap the surface.
While Tommy didn’t care about the uselessness of his claws, his stomach did. His lips parted back as a growl ripped out of his throat, a cloud of instinct that wrapped his human side away and let the predator in him grin.
Some light whistles floated around him, the meaning jumbled up in hiccuped amusement, and the fish was swiftly taken away. No no no , repeated in his head as he whined at his lost food. He was starving, what did he do to deserve this?
Yet just as soon as the food was taken away, little cubed-up pieces of fish were presented to him. Without a single thought, Tommy snatched them and shoved them in his mouth, a croon leaving his mouth as the metallic and savory flavor hit his parched mouth. His tongue, which was elongated he duly noted, licked his sharpened teeth and stared at his Caregiver for his next portion.
Caregiver gave those same light whistles again, chest shaking and eyes crinkling in fondness, as he sliced the next fish and gave it to Tommy.
——
“If I turn around and see even a single scale out of the den, Theseus, I will call for Phil.” Techno rumbled from below, his body turned towards the chest as he cataloged through them.
Tommy, on the other hand, had nearly the entire top portion of his body hanging off of the ledge of the den. His tail anchored him down and stopped him from sliding down, and gasp , leaving the den. He rolled his eyes and let his body slither further down, purposely agitating the seaweed to make it ruffle in the quiet space.
Techno sighed, deep and long, before turning around and raising a single eyebrow high into his forehead. He didn’t say anything, just stared down at Tommy.
Before, Tommy would’ve been intimidated. However kind Techno has been to him as a human, Tommy couldn’t guarantee that same attitude when he was miles underwater and nearly helpless against any outside forces. People change as circumstances do and he didn’t want to risk it.
Techno sighed once more and clicked sire-come-mischief up into the tunnel. Within a few moments, Phil swam in and his eyes narrowed at Tommy.
“Toms, I know you’re restless, but your tail hasn’t fully developed yet. We don’t want you to strain it. Do you want Wilbur to sing to you again? He’s been working on some new ones that I’m sure–” Phil halted as Tommy slid further down, almost half of his tail upside down alongside him.
Tommy smiled and blew bubbles from his mouth, “No, I think Wilbur needs more time to develop his music. After all, Rome wasn’t built in one day.” Tommy stole a glance towards Techno and bit his cheek to stop laughter from spouting out as Techno pinched his nose in exasperation.
That’s right bitch, eat your own words.
When Tommy looked back at Phil, he yelped as hands gripped his shoulders and hauled him back into the den. Wanting to see how this would play out, Tommy let it happen.
The terror of being hit, berated or punished still lived in the back of Tommy’s mind, yet that’s where it stayed now. No longer his sole thought whenever he prodes an adult. It’s on the back burner, slowly turning to ashes and scattering to the wind through his family’s love.
“Just let the kid say what he wants to do, Phil. Maybe you can make a compromise.” Ah, that’s why he trusts Techno. The peacemaker and protector, always wanting harmony in the pod. While Wilbur wants affection and Phil wants joy, Techno is their anchor back to reality.
And apparently, merlings were precious. To the point where a protector might choose them over a caregiver if a difficult situation is at stake. Even then, Techno is constant. He’s the moon that rises every night with no promise needed that he’ll always be there. He’s the wave in the ocean, present and watching with no scathing judgment.
He’s Tommy’s protector.
Phil sighs, copying what Techno did moments before this, and swims closer to Tommy until two hands cup Tommy’s cheeks. His head is tilted side to side, examined for something Tommy doesn’t know about, and he observes Phil’s eyes with rapt attention.
They’re blank, for now, but as Phil looks for imperfections that no longer exist on Tommy– like the bruises his stomach had from countless times hitting himself when pulling himself up onto a ledge as a human– a crack forms. Dissatisfaction .
But Tommy’s still on thin ice. He needs to tread carefully or else Phil will coo at him and there goes his brain into an instinct mush.
Letting out a drawn-out coo, caregiver , Tommy peers up at Phil with a small smile, “Can I please go outside? I can ride on someone’s back, all snug and safe, but I wanna see my home, Phil. I’ve never had a home before…” Tommy silently thanks all the spoiled brats in the movies he’s watched for teaching him how to manipulate your parents into getting stuff that you want.
Phil’s hands tightened around his face, thumbs caressing his lightened eyebags. Tommy maintained eye contact with Phil, a front-row seat to the conflicting happiness but wariness battening each other.
Tommy’s stomach did churn at calling this his home, yet not in a way that he wanted to puke from saturated happiness. It was a key that unlocked his heart, the thick lock dropping down into his stomach as he realized this was it. The finale he’s been waiting for since he was a child, watching movies that romanticized abuse and the main characters getting their perfect happily ever after.
It wasn’t sweet, but it was warm.
Warm like the fondness in Phil’s eyes and two coos escaped his lips, the same coos that once confused him but now he knew the answer to; parental love.
There was always more healing to be done. More to learn what it means to be half-fish. More to learn about what it means to have people rooting for his happiness.
For now, though he coos back love-love-family and laughs when he’s pulled into a hug,
“Of course. For you, the world Tommy. I love you,” he presses a kiss on Tommy’s curled hair and Tommy hides his flushed face in his dad’s shoulder.
I love you too.