Chapter Text
Vic invites Aaron and Robert over for dinner on Thursday night. Aaron drives them there as they watch the sun set and he feels Robert’s eyes on him half the time.
“You’re distracting me.” Aaron mumbles.
Robert rolls his eyes and then draws a hand closer towards Aaron’s knee. Aaron tuts and then keeps his eyes on the road.
“Last time we were at Vic’s you were avoiding me.” Robert says. Aaron bites his lip and sighs.
“I was … avoiding …”
“ Feelings .” Robert steps in to say like Aaron needs it to be said.
They arrive at half six and Aaron instantly realises that something is off because the restaurant looks closed. The lights are almost all off and when Aaron has to knock a few times.
“Are you sure it was tonight?” Aaron spins to ask Robert who is just standing there looking like he doesn’t know what to say.
Suddenly the door is being opened and Vic is there with a big smile on her face. She’s made absolutely no effort to put the lights on and Aaron smiles back at her, walks in with Robert and then there’s this concoction of noise as the lights are turned on and people shout ‘surprise’.
Aaron jumps a little, then feels Robert do the same. He reaches out behind him to make a grab for Robert’s hand.
“What the …” Aaron mumbles, almost to himself.
Seb’s waving back, and so is Eve and Rosie and Harry. There’s this banner over their heads saying ‘We’ll miss you’ and Aaron feels something get caught in his throat as he takes it all in. He looks back, sees Robert’s eyes turn watery in a way he hasn’t seen for a while now.
“What’s all this about?” Robert asks, and he hugs at Vic, then bends down to hug Rosie tight.
“It’s your going away party.” Vic says, like it’s obvious.
Robert frowns, then looks at Aaron. “Did you know about this?” He asks.
“No.” Aaron shakes his head. “I’m as clueless as you are.” He scratches a little at his head and then sees that the tables in the restaurant have been pushed back a little. There’s food and cake on one of the tables, then plates and cutlery too. “You didn’t have to do this Vic.” He says.
Vic rolls her eyes. “Of course I did.” She says. “Not every day your brother moves to the other side of England.” She says, and she smiles like she’s teasing but Aaron feels this twist in his chest.
Robert disappears for a second, then Aaron sees him next to Seb. Aaron takes it as an opportunity to speak to Vic properly.
“Um.” Aaron bites his lip as she passes him a beer. “I hope you don’t think I’m …”
“Taking Robert away.” Vic says with a blank face. Aaron’s eyes widen a little and then Vic laughs and it seems to break some tension. “I’m kidding Aaron.” She says. “Robert rang me, told me about how much happier he felt when he was there with you. I get it, I understand.”
Aaron’s chin wobbles. “It’s a big deal.” He says. “But it’s … it’s what we both want.”
Vic has a hand against Aaron’s arm. “I know.” She smiles. “Robert showed me pics of the cottage, have you put an offer in on it?”
Aaron nods. “Yeah, we’re just waiting to hear back.” He says. “It’s got two bedrooms. We’re hoping Seb …”
Aaron’s cut off by Seb tapping his shoulder.
“Talking about my room in Weymouth?” Seb asks.
“Yeah.” Aaron’s smile is clear and bright and Seb must pick up on it. “It’s even got a desk for your big business sort of stuff you’ll be up to.” He waves a hand out and laughs. He thinks about the laptop him and Robert have bought Seb, how ridiculously high tech it is.
“Wow.” Seb raises an eyebrow. Then he looks back at Robert who is holding a cupcake and talking to Harry. “You’re both excited, right?”
Aaron nods. “Yeah of course.” He says, because a beach and peace and quiet and Robert sounds a lot like heaven. “Just feels weird … leaving everything behind.” He shrugs.
“You’ve travelled everywhere.” Vic points out and she’s very much exaggerating.
Aaron rolls his eyes. “But I’ve always known I’d come back.”
“Yeah well, you might. You never know. Robert could start doing your head in.” Vic teases.
Aaron looks at how gentle Robert is with Harry, how he’s really listening to what Harry is saying as he holds the tiny cupcake in his large hand. Aaron feels this overwhelming sense of love hit him and he feels stupid for it.
“That’s not going to happen.” Aaron whispers, and he smiles to himself as he sees Robert offer Harry an awkward high five.
—
Robert’s a little bit tipsy when they finally leave. He holds onto Vic for ages, calls her the best sister in the world and Vic cries and it’s all a big thing. Seb comes back to the pub with them and pulls faces as Robert pulls hands over Aaron’s lap in the car.
“Call me if you need anything yeah?” Aaron says, once they’re back and Seb is sleeping in the spare room.
Aaron nods and then hears Seb call his name as he goes to turn the lamp off in the room.
“Yeah mate?”
Seb has this cautious look on his face. “You’ll … I know you’ll look after him.” He says and Aaron hangs by the door for a second. “But can you … promise anyway.”
Suddenly Seb is this small child, wide eyes and this uncertainty in his voice and seeking this reassurance. Aaron comes to the bed and sits down, looks right at Seb and tries to look as serious as he can.
“Of course I’ll look after him.” Aaron whispers. “He’ll be OK, you know that right?”
Seb shrugs. “He might not be.” He says.
Aaron takes in a breath and thinks about that for a second. “No, you’re right. He might not.” He admits. “But he’s better than he was, and I’ll be there for him. Just like he’ll be there for me. I promise you.”
Seb smiles. “I just want you to be happy, both of you.”
“We are.” Aaron says. “You don’t have to worry about anything, OK?” He waits for Seb to nod his head and it feels like it takes ages to happen. “You know … none of this would have worked out if it wasn’t for you.”
Seb frowns. “Huh?”
Aaron shrugs. “I wouldn’t have known Robert was out of prison, Vic wouldn't have told me. I would have been …” He thinks for a second, he would have been happy, would have been going through a life he thought would be all he has and it would have been fine. “I wouldn’t have what I do now.” Seb nods shyly. “I never did thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Seb pulls a face. “You both got there all by yourselves in the end.”
Aaron smiles. “Yeah, I suppose we did.”
—
Aaron expects Robert to be asleep by the time he opens the door of the bedroom but he isn’t, instead he’s half hanging off the bed scrolling through his phone. He stops when he sees Aaron close the door and slide into bed next to him.
“Hey.” Robert whispers, and he rolls himself so that he’s almost planted firmly against Aaron. “Where were you?”
“Reassuring Seb that I’m going to look after you.” Aaron whispers, and then he smiles into a kiss but Robert moves away.
“Does he think I’m going to …”
“He’s just a little worried.” Aaron admits, “But I set him right.” Robert looks a little tense still and Aaron moves so that he’s practically laying on Robert. “Stop thinking so much, he was just being sweet.” He whispers, and then he kisses Robert. “Did you have a good time tonight?”
Robert nods after a second. “Weird how it was … for me?” He says, like he can’t quite describe the feeling. “I didn’t think I’d get that.”
“Yeah well …” Aaron runs a hand through Robert’s hair. “You did, and you deserved it and …”
“I deserve you.” Robert says.
Aaron feels his heart thump. “Yeah.” He whispers and he can’t hide his relief in Robert’s progress. “And I deserve you.” He kisses Robert, harder this time and Robert has a hand firmly on the back of Aaron’s neck. It feels strong and secure and Aaron gets lost in it for a second until Robert pulls away to stare at him.
“I didn’t freak out over the surprise.” Robert points out. “I thought I would. The noise.” He explains. “But it was actually … it was OK.” He sounds so hopeful.
“I’m so proud of you.” Aaron is terrible with words, affection, and love. It’s what he’s always told himself. Yet now, all of the above are obvious and simple. It just seems to flow out of him completely, without hesitation or resistance. Robert closes his eyes shyly. “No, look at me. Hey.” Robert finally does. “You’re living again. That’s … that’s everything.”
Robert gulps hard, and his eyes are suddenly wet. He holds at Aaron’s arms, then brings a hand up to press against Aaron’s chest. “Yeah. I am.” He whispers.
Aaron kisses Robert again, then falls to his side.
—
Aaron stares up at the pub and breathes out this deep sigh as he watches Robert take the last of their bags and head towards the car. They’ve hired someone to get most of their things down to the coast and it should take a few days for it all to arrive but Aaron doesn’t really care all that much.
Robert is definitely going to be there, and that’s all that matters.
“Well then …” Robert shuts the boot to Aaron’s car and smiles. “You’re sure you’re not regretting this?” He asks.
Aaron turns to Robert and scowls. “No.” He says. “Not for one second.” He insists. He pulls at Robert’s jacket and kisses him shyly before he hears Eve groaning. He looks up and sees Eve, Moses, Samson and Seb standing on the steps of the pub staring at them.
“Put him down, gosh.” Eve folds her arms over and smiles. “You can do all of that when you’re a million miles away.” She says as they all come forward.
“It’s not a million miles …” Aaron starts but Seb cuts him off but waving a hand out.
“She’s joking.” Seb insists and then he looks between Aaron and Robert. “Samson’s driving us down next weekend.” He says and Aaron thinks about how amazing it will be, he thinks about how Seb is only going to get older, more immersed in his own life and although that may be years away from now, it still twists a little in his chest.
“Of course.” Aaron says, he gulps hard. “You can come see me and your dad any time. You know that.”
“Dads.” Seb nods. Aaron frowns just a little and his heart thumps hard in his chest. “Both of you … are my dads.” He’s so serious, and Aaron feels this ache in his chest as he thinks about it.
“Do you mean that?” Aaron whispers, and his eyes fill with tears ridiculously quickly.
“Duh.” Seb says, and then he hugs Aaron. “I’m going to miss coming here annoying you.”
“You never did that.” Aaron holds Seb a little tighter and then breathes out when Seb moves to hug Robert.
“Love you.” Robert whispers, “Always.” He says and Seb squeezes at Robert.
Aaron holds Eve, tells her that he’s going to call her as soon as he gets there and she makes him promise that he’ll be happy like she’s actually their mum.
“I will.” Aaron says. “I promise.”
Aaron tells Moses to be safe, keep his head and Samson wishes them luck in this way that Aaron knows he really means.
Aaron’s crying by the time he turns and sees Paddy by the gate of his house. He waves a hand out and Aaron walks towards him, suddenly having no clue what he wants to actually say. He’ll miss him. He loves him.
“I’m going to be OK, you know.” Aaron says.
Paddy’s face is bright red as he wipes at his eyes. “I know that, I think that’s why I’m … well why I don’t know what to say.” He does his nervous laugh and runs a hand over his head. “I’m always a phone call away.”
“I know.”
“So is your mum.”
“I know that too.” Aaron insists. “I’ll let you know when we’re there.” He says.
Paddy nods enthusiastically. “Yes.” He says and then he bites his lip. “Come here then.” He pulls Aaron into a hug and they stay like that for a while before Paddy pulls away and looks at Robert. “You better be off then.”
Aaron nods. “Yeah.” He says. “See you soon.” He turns slowly and then walks back to the car, he turns back and waves at Paddy once more before he gets into the car and turns the engine on.
He suddenly remembers their wedding day, driving off into the sunset in this fairytale sort of way. Aaron didn’t think he’d have that again, not in this lifetime anyway.
“You ready?” Robert asks, because he keeps asking, like he thinks that Aaron’s going to think this is some sort of terrible mistake suddenly. He has no idea, Aaron thinks, no idea how perfect this all seems.
Aaron nods. “Always have been.” He whispers.
—
The cottage overlooks the sea. Aaron stares out the window taking in the scenery and thinking hard about how his life has gone so far. He thinks about seventeen year old him and how much he would have agonised over what he has now. He would have said he hated it completely, said he’d rather die than have this even though deep down it sounded like exactly what he wanted.
A quiet life, someone who loves him fiercely, a family who will protect him.
“Hey.” Robert sneaks up behind Aaron, grabs at Aaron’s waist and sets his chin on Aaron’s shoulder. “What are you thinking about?” He asks.
Robert does that a lot now. It’s something he never used to do as much before, when they were settled and happy and looking towards the future. He asks what Aaron is thinking about, rather than if he’s OK. It’s something small and yet Aaron’s picked up on it.
“That job interview I’ve got on Tuesday.” Aaron mumbles, even though it’s not entirely true. The thought has just popped into his head. He’d be working in a car dealership, overseeing maintenance of the vehicles. It’s something.
“You’re going to do great.” Robert says, and he kisses the side of Aaron’s head.
Aaron smiles faintly, then thinks about Robert finding it harder to find work and the way he hates feeling like some sort of burden, like he isn’t pulling his weight. Aaron thinks about Robert working in a pub in the area, or even in the same car dealership place as a seller. Most importantly, he thinks about the fact that they’ve got time to sort it out.
The sun is setting now. Robert’s arms are tight around Aaron’s middle in a way that they’ve never been before. It feels new and different just like the sound of the water and the smell of the salt in the air.
The newness of it all feels overwhelming and Aaron thinks about how badly he’s been focused on the past, on the way things were, on the life he used to have and the person he used to be. None of it seems to matter, not right now as the sky is filled with bits of yellow and pink and red.
“So.” Robert mumbles, and he lets go of Aaron so that he can place his hands on Aaron’s shoulders, then drapes them down so that Aaron can hold one of them. “What now?” He whispers.
Aaron closes his eyes and feels this overwhelming sense of peace.
“Whatever we want.” Aaron says.
“I like the sound of that.” Robert whispers.
Aaron does too.