Chapter Text
Tankhun wanted to spend the rest of the day in the hospital wing. They hadn’t said anything yet. Just a flurry of activity with no sense and all the urgency. It drives his imagination to insanity and his scent of jasmine and mimosa was no longer chipper and fragrant.
Pol had tried to steer him away with a reminder that he still had other tasks to tend to and promised to stay vigilant on guarding duty and keep Tankhun in the loop on everything. The first son found it hard to be swayed, even by reasonable requests and sincere swears. Distractions are fine but they aren’t viable in the long run.
But his duty to their people, heavy and firmly on the shoulder, pulls him off the floor and out the doors eventually. And, as he’d forecasted—when his list of to-do for the day dwindled out, the fear and worry for his brother-in-law, planted in his head like a thorn, chases him back to the hospital ward.
A whole day—done. And here he was once more at nightfall.
The Omega was beginning to hate this place all over again. First, it was his mother. Then, himself. And every other time Kinn or Kim or his stupid cousin came home, breathless and holding some bloodied part of their bodies.
Chirping machines and the rubbing alcohol fumes mixed in with his exhaustion stirs lightheadedness. Tankhun is tempted to lie on the cold floor. Hopefully, the chill will undo the achy part of his back. He’s been hunching over many times today to comfort people, herd the delinquents, or rifle through the paperback plans for the house.
Eventually, the attending doctor comes to give the formal report: the poison has set in and it’s attacking Porsche’s nervous system. The seizure is one of many other possible deadly side effects and the bile is a result of the Head Omega’s body attempting to purge the poison, which is still under investigation. Not all ingredients have been named and it can’t be predicted what and when the next symptoms will be.
So, they’ve hit a wall. Tankhun wanted to scream. Only a few deep breaths, directed by his bodyguard and prescribed over a year ago by some online yoga tutor on YouTube when the first heir was in his fleeting exercise and wellness era, kept him from doing so.
“Happy thoughts, khun. Happy thoughts. You’re in Phuket, playing in the water, trying to drown Khun Kinn. Or- or what about the crab with the knife, huh? Remember when it almost took out Khun Macau’s ankles? That’s a happy thought, right?”
It is a happy thought. One of his happiest. “Inner peace… inner… peace.” A whoosh of air leaves him with a whistle. “Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Kinn waterboarded. Macau attacked by a crab. Dr. Top looking very handsome in his white coat. Inner… peace…”
And that was as close to returning to his brand of calm as he would get today.
Pol chooses then to deliver the next bit of news: Porchay, Kim, and Macau paid a visit right before they were set to leave. That was hours ago, when the former crowned prince had busied himself with the house.
Tankhun can’t begin to pick apart the mental torment the younger must be going through. Seeing his force of nature of an older brother, hurt and unconscious and pushed to the brink, would’ve been a stab and twist in the gut. The Beta guard agrees. “He looked on the verge of another breakdown. Khun Kim and Khun Macau were barely holding him together.”
Well, Porchay can’t be blamed for that. The Omega may be an in-law and Kinn’s beloved spouse in this family but he was everything to the Kittisawat’s clan. He’s their son, brother, and prince—he’s the heart and hands of their pack. Learning he’s fighting for his life may kill them.
“I just wish they’d find something. Anything!” Exclaimed Tankhun. The metal bar beneath the window clangs loudly when he releases his frustration on it. “And the boys! Why haven’t we heard anything? It’s been an entire day and, nothing. Nothing, nothing!”
Pol tries his best to keep him calm. But with no scent to aid him biologically, the only thing he has to offer are reassurances, and those fell on deaf ears.
Only a small voice broke Tankhun out of whatever trance his emotions thrust him into. “P’Khun.”
Behind them are Vellie and her little sister. Since Porsche’s sudden hospitalization and the lot of them dispersing in different directions to pursue various goals, the sisters Kinn, Porsche, and he braved the ravaged compound to rescue became a back burner concern. He hadn’t thought much about the pair of siblings for some time. “Vellie. And…” He crouches down until he is at eye level with the small girl. The absence of blood crusting her petite face revealed her prettiness. “I assume this is the famous Mimi?”
She nods at him, her head bobbing like those toy bobbleheads. It’s a little funny and a lot cute. Vellie pats her sister’s head gently, calming the child down. “We heard about P’Porsche. We wanted to visit sooner but didn’t wish to intrude.”
“None of that, Vellie. Porsche would’ve been delighted with your visit if he was awake,” Tankhun assures. “Unfortunately, he’s not allowed any visitors. So, I’ve been awfully bored. Maybe you two can keep me company?” He tries for a smile but is afraid it may have dissolved into a grimace. Mimi’s startled blinking confirmed his fear. Kids were honest like that.
“Mm!” The little girl agrees before her sister can so much as make a noise. With tiny, slender hands, she grabs Tankhun and tugs him toward the bench a few meters away. For someone so dainty, she sure is strong.
The first heir tells the Beta maid as much and she bursts into giggles. Tankhun is glad to find her voice was no longer hoarse and rough. “You’ve recovered well.”
She nods and goes to smooth out her uniform. “I wasn’t a target and, thankfully, I found myself buried beneath the rubble not too soon after separating from my sister.” Less chances of catching stray bullets. The rubbles may have saved the Beta’s life. “My real worry had been Mimi but Khun Kinn saved her right before the absolute worst could’ve happened. I’ll always be grateful to him and the family for that.”
Her sincerity was remarkably touching to the jilted heir. It made the twinge in his back lessen just a bit. “We are your leaders, Vellie. It was our job to protect you. I’m just sorry the boys and I were away when it happened.”
Yes, he advocated for them to leave and properly honor their mother’s death this year, and, true, this was an unpredictable series of events. Had they been here, the ensuing damage could’ve decreased but not avoided.
Guilt chewed on all of them; Kinn, in particular, was the most affected. He is, after all, their heir and everything fell on him to manage and keep safe. It’s likely that he sees this disaster as an outcome of his leadership, which was plain wrong and stupid. But Kinn had moments where he was exactly that: wrong and stupid.
The Beta shakes her head vehemently. “And protect you did, P’Khun! You may not have saved everyone but you and all the others still put your lives on the line. P’Porsche is proof of that.”
Almost forgotten but unwilling to be, the little girl Kinn risked his neck to save nods sagely, though Tankhun was almost positive she had no idea what the conversation was even about. “P’Porsche. Good.”
It has been some time since the Omega felt the urge to laugh. “Porsche is good.”
—
The Kittisawats arrive at the compound in a matter of hours. Front and center are Porsche’s parents, flanked by their son and his boyfriends, and an army of bodyguards fills out the spaces behind them.
None of them spoke upon arrival, letting their entrance announce them instead. And announce, they did.
A hush falls over the staff still bustling about with their chores. Tankhun remembers asking most of them, the ones who were aged and wearing themselves to the bone, to rest for the night. Everyone in the house is a hard worker and isn’t afraid to commit from sunrise to sunset, and well into the night if no one says anything hence why he made a point to do so.
But, they obviously took it as a suggestion and less of an order. He’ll have to reserve his frown for them later.
For now, his attention remains unwavering from the Kittisawats. The way they forge into his home, locked tight in practiced formation even with the addition of his brother and cousin, is a sight to behold. He didn’t get so much as a warning from his brother of their surprise guests before they were already here. Kim may as well have sent him adrift in orca-infested waters with the predators circling tighter. They won't bite—they're as close as in-laws could be—but a sense of danger emanates like a chill, leaving a path of goosebumps on his nape.
He’s not an easily intimidated person, unlike what most people may presume but the pressure of their presence does force him to rethink how Thailand would’ve fared if the Kittisawats hadn’t removed themselves from the limelight. He wonders if the Theerapanyakuns would’ve stood a chance against a Kittisawat clan that hasn’t been watered down, their influences centralized and not spread.
Kinn’s in-laws match them bar for bar. In a different timeline, where they follow the same path toward furthering their individual powers, maybe they’d end up as enemies rather than friends. What a sobering thought, to have who is one’s potentially greatest opposition as an ally.
“Uncle Chayapat. Auntie Nampheung.”
The retired Alpha boss was the first to speak. “How is my son, Tankhun?” Straight to the point with no room for diversion. Porsche’s bluntness was a biological inheritance.
“He had a horrible seizure a little before Porchay returned home to you but he has been… still, since. The doctors are still looking into the poison invading his system. They don’t know enough to make a cure or determine what’ll happen next.” It was good to speak frankly. Something tells him they wouldn't have liked any attempt at sugarcoating their son’s condition, anyway.
Nampheung wore the face of a mother grieving. Gutted and stricken with the worst of her imagination, she feared her heart might leap out of her chest if only it would offer the reprieve she so desired from this nightmare.
Her boy… her Firebird…
Tankhun turns away from her face, unable to look a moment longer, and leads them further into the compound, toward the medical wing. The place is not very packed. Most of the patients with surface-level injuries have already been cleared to leave so only the ones with serious, life-threatening trauma occupy space in the wing now. Still, the Kittisawat left their guards outside the door, unprompted yet unsurprisingly considerate of them.
“And Kinn? Why is he not here?”
“Kinn and the rest of the boys took it upon themselves to find the people responsible,” Tankhun says. They’ve arrived at the window. It is their only connection to Porsche until he’s healed. The Omega brace himself for their reactions.
Nampheung is a dam broken through by a giant boulder. Her tears were immediate and unending. Upon casting her gaze on her dear eldest boy, all defenses collapsed. Every pretense and air of dignity shed aside when she sees the shell her little Firebird once was.
Porsche was sick. Terrifyingly sick and incurable.
Looking at him, a regular stranger would be sympathetic but as a mother, she wanted to die. Beg the doctors or whatever deities out there on her knees in front of the world if it means her child is whole and well again. Her sobs sting the back of her throat and the vision of Porsche dances as tears continue to overwhelm her.
Chayapat’s arms encircle her body and his warmth presses. She clings to her mate as tightly as a lost soul thrown into a storm-tossed sea. “Our little boy… Chayapat, what are we going to do? There must be something!”
“They haven’t found anything, mama.” Porchay’s voice shudders. He steps closer to her and his father readily pulls him into the embrace. The scent of home and family covers him like a warm blanket.
But something was missing. This little den of warmth isn’t complete. He misses his brother’s hand, which usually lands on his head to ruffle his hair, pulling an enraged shriek out of him; and the way he’d hug too tightly to breathe but it’s a loss of breath that kindles love and assurance. He’d give anything to be lovingly suffocated right now.
“Now, now. Save your tears. This is not Porsche’s end.” His father’s words work like a balm. Porchay likes to think every member of his family is ruled by different parts of a person. As the youngest and most protected person in the family, Porchay was the heart. His brother, the eldest born and raised leader with somewhat of a reckless streak, was the body. Their mother is most obviously the soul, providing warmth and care like every traditional Head Omega is supposed to be. She parallels perfectly with Father—the mind. Emotion and logic, hand in hand.
So, he has no reason not to believe him.
Though his voice lacked the iron strength he was used to—his father wasn’t as completely unaffected as he portrayed himself to be to the common eye. “Chayapat. Do you have an idea?”
Shaking his head, the retired Alpha could hug them tighter, if only to make the shaking stop. His brain has long burned the image of his son in that hospital bed. It will follow him into his dreams for years to come, poisoning them into nightmares.
There isn’t any grand plan to right every wrong that occurred in the last thirty or forty-something hours. Simply, two goals crossed his mind: find a cure for his boy and terminate the entire bloodline of whoever was responsible for this.
“We will send our own men. Tankhun,” he says, and the boy tentatively approaches. The old Alpha wagers he feels some kind of guilt over this on behalf of his clan. Marrying into the Theerapanyakun house meant Porsche was to be protected and cared for. Yet here they were. Here Porsche was. He should feel resentment. Scorching anger of a parent whose kid has been mortally wounded. But he doesn’t. This wasn’t any of their fault. The Theerapanyakun boys have never given him reason to believe they wanted Porsche dead or hurt. “We have a specialist in poison and biochemical. I will send her here and she will join your medical staff in the morning. And, if you need extra hands to assist with rebuilding and… putting together burial arrangements, we will help.”
Tankhun stares at him, stunned. From what he knew of them, even with the limitation of their interactions prior to today, he had the impression that they weren’t the type to chew someone out so he wasn’t expecting to be put to trial. The Kittisawats are loving and protective parents yet kind and just leaders. But, if Porsche took after them when it comes to seeking justice, Tankhun believes they’ll show more than tell.
He had a few ideas on what they might do. Perhaps by withdrawing their men, demanding a divorce to punish Kinn for not doing his duties—he dreaded this the most—or something. Either way, he had been holding his breath.
But none of that happened. In fact, the opposite happened.
His in-law was holding out a lifeline instead. The weight crushing his chest lifts. It felt as if he could breathe again. “Uncle. I am incredibly grateful for your offer. On behalf of Kinn and the rest of our clan, I thank you for your generosity.”
Though not openly hostile as anyone in his position has the right to be, Chayapat was stoic. Whatever the older man thought concerning Tankhun’s relief, his face did not betray. It’s unnerving; here he thought, Kinn and Papa had the best poker faces anyone could have. Only for Kinn’s father-in-law to beat the odds.
“Do not thank me. This is for my son.” Right. That makes more sense. “He wouldn’t leave your house to suffer.”
Once again, the former heir is reminded of how powerful Porsche truly is. Unawake and unaware he may be yet the call to action he still inspires… it was something to be admired. “I am thankful, nonetheless.”
“Hm.” And then he leaves with his wife and youngest son still wrapped up, warm and protected in his arms.
The way Porsche couldn’t be.
—
Midnight rolls around and it’s uncomfortably peaceful. Quiet—everything was quiet in the garden and Tankhun almost hates it. There’s nothing to distract him like this.
All day, he’s been battling with the worst demons. Uselessness reigned chief.
He’s fought it for years—ever since he’d been forced to abdicate and Kinn was shoved into the role of crowned heir, to be exact—yet the events of the last few days have lent it an unnatural, annoying amount of power.
When he was first presented and then subsequently removed from his position on the ladder, he hadn’t questioned it. This was just the way it works, they told him. Omegas weren’t made to lead and rule. They weren’t born to fight like his crown and clan would’ve expected from him if he succeeded.
Porsche’s entire existence overturns everything he once knew about the capabilities of Omegas. Not only does the younger now sit on the seat more or less uncontested but he has made a formidable name for himself—conqueror, that’s what they call him. His feats, the forces and systems he had a hand in creating and now commands, the fear he inspires among foes are an inspiration but most powerfully is the undying loyalty he leaves in his people.
Even without being there, they’re willing to defend him and the people he loves. An Alpha like Jom put aside his pride and whatever else to work with Kinn; his own family, with trust issues the size of the sun, is out there now trying to track down the people who put the Head Omega in this state; and the boy’s father, the former Head Alpha of the Kittisawat clan… who deserved to cut off the Theerapanyakuns indefinitely for bearing witness to the tragedy befalling his son, hadn’t done so because Porsche willed it.
The first prince was aware that Porsche did not get to where he is today by an easy road. He’s one of the very privileged handful of people who knew the story of what happened overseas. But the Head Omega braved that front and persevered anyway. There is fortitude so incomparable in the mafia heir it’s almost unfair.
All Tankhun did today was fret, try his best to put the house back in order, and then fret some more. He wasn’t even half as useful compared to a half-dead Porsche. He lacked that strength.
The demon of uselessness doubles down, sinking its oily claws into him. The Omega’s body shook with it and suddenly he was glad the garden was empty at this time, leaving only him, his internal conflicts, and the scent of it.
That’s how Nampheung found him.
In her need for a quiet sanctuary, she has found her way to the gardens. It was beautiful. The past matriarch always did have quite the vision when it came to landscapes. Moments like these make her miss the woman and the times the four of them—her, Chayapat, Korn, and his wife—were closer.
All this time… it had been hard. Lonely. Withdrawing from society to keep Porsche away from the surely unforgiving gossip wasn’t a picnic. She had her family, of course, but there were moments when she needed a friend. A mother who understands her situation the way only a parent could.
Like now.
Her head throbs and her heart… oh, how her heart aches something quite awful. Porsche was strong. Even as a babe, small and virtually defenseless, he had been a fighter. Her little warrior.
Sending him abroad when he first presented ate at her for years. And she knows it doesn’t make her mate feel better either. Porsche was safe, to some degree, but he was far out of their hands. All alone, homesick, and feeling and undergoing who knows what else, it tore her up that she wasn’t there to see him through. That she didn’t get to learn of the Omega her son was becoming. That she didn’t get to teach him the things she knew.
Only for him to return now—a different person. Grown. Changed. Walled off from his secondary gender.
It was gut-wrenching to be held at arm’s length from her own son who once loved to play and share the details of life with her. Both her babies were mama’s boys, a fact she can’t even lord over Chayapat’s head because he finds it cute and supports it, and they come to her for everything.
Not anymore…
Marrying him to a suitable family was always a part of the plan for his ascension. The Theerapanyakuns shared a connection with them and were the only family with titles and ranks closest to theirs. Kinn and Porsche were bright, bold, and dutiful—business-wise, it was a perfect match; family-wise, they’d hoped it would lead to happiness, too. Somehow.
Porsche’s situation originally made her want to call the whole thing off. Or, at the very least, delay it for as long as she could. Clearly, he needed time—to get reacquainted with Thailand, the family, and their society. Maybe even himself. And it was a chance to observe and investigate for herself what had happened.
Yet Korn insisted. Citing their written pact and everything. Sometimes in the past few years, he had changed, too.
Chayapat was as wary, noting the shift as well. It wasn’t till they left that decisive meeting did he openly shared her sentiment. But that’s where their agreement ends. Her husband explains that their son is heir now and at the prime to rule. Time was of the utmost essence. Going forth with the union will accomplish three pivotal things: fulfill the pact and thus kickstart both his and Kinn’s official transition, prove to the clan that he was willing to go the distance to gain them an invaluable ally, and debut Porsche in the most flattering light possible.
Her first child’s wedding and it was a pure political plot. She was enraged. Logically, it made a lot of sense, and putting her son in an advantageous position would never be a bad thing but there was a sense of anger blended in regardless.
She spent the months leading up to the wedding observing everything, and devising an escape plan for her Firebird should the time ever call for it. Everyone called her an attentive, maybe even slightly over-controlling mother over it but she accepts all of it easily if it gives her the ideal disguise to gather intel.
Kinn and Porsche started like cats and dogs. This came as a surprise at first but it could work in their favor if Porsche needed an out. Over time, Nampheung began to realize there was no out. Because beneath the bickering and antagonizing was a boy who is genuinely interested in her son but sucks at expressing himself, and behind her son’s bratty exterior is an even bigger brat with a retaliation streak but a sweet and lovely heart.
Her idiot spawn and her friend’s idiot spawn were two halves of an idiotic rom-com duo.
Now, after so many revelations on both their behalf, they’ve bonded. Intricately, wholly, and neverending.
She can only assume how Kinn is faring during all of this. Like all of them, he doubtlessly must feel helpless. Powerless. Even with Thailand in his palm, the Omega in his heart was unwell and crawling faster toward an undetermined, slippery slope. Since they’ve been married, the couple has been dodging one life attempt after the next, she’s noticed. And each time, one or both of them pay the price.
If his mother was still around, they would’ve wept together. Cry out and pray for some solution to rescue her son and comfort Kinn.
Tankhun is the closest to the late matriarch. She left pieces of herself in all of her children but with her eldest, there was something… more. Nampheung cannot describe it. Perhaps it is because Tankhun shared her identity as an Omega, too. She wasn’t sure but what she does know is since Porsche is now married to the Theerapanyakuns and their families have consolidated, it technically means that those kids are now her kids, too.
So, she will look after them in any way she can; in any way they’ll permit. “Tankhun? Honey, are you crying?” Frantically, as if caught doing something improper, the boy swipes at his face. Nampheung frowns at the roughness and goes to pull his hands away. “Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself. Be gentler.”
The little Omega stops moving altogether, hands going limp in his lap. “Aunt! What are you doing out here? It’s so late already.”
“I could say the same about you. What are you doing in the gardens at this hour?” Nampheung watched as Tankhun almost seemed to curl in on himself, the polite mask slipping just enough to reveal a tender vulnerability.
She figured his reason for seeking solace matched hers, more or less. With the addition of other worries stacked on, of course. He needed to cope; to get out of his head somehow. Getting as far away from the hospital ward, though it sears a dreadful insecurity in her brain, was a must right now when tensions are high. When it’s simply too soon, too much.
With the boys gone, Tankhun bears the weight of rebuilding alone. On top of that is arranging for support of the families of the deceased, and there is a heartbreaking number of them. And if his obvious brotherly affection for Porsche was any indication at all, the dear boy probably took it upon himself to keep an eye on her son, too. Had her family not shown up when they did he’d likely insist on keeping vigil as well.
“I’m just… tired. So tired. And- and- I just…” His words come out a mess as if evading him.
Nampheung did not hesitate to gather him into her arms, pushing her scent out to soothe him the way she would if she was comforting her own children. “Breathe, Tankhun. Breathe. Don’t force yourself. You needn’t tell me if you don’t want to.”
It’s not the lack of wanting that jumbled his words. He feels and is thinking of so much, and every last one of them is vying for the light of day. This is an embarrassing and undesirable situation on his part. Nampheung was the one who needed support. It's her son who’s standing between life and death—not him.
He voiced it all out, every next word pushing the previous ones out of the way. “We’re both the first sons of this country’s finest, most powerful houses. We were heirs—well, he remained heir while I…,” his laugh was bitter. Difficult to listen to. “Omegas aren’t meant to be leaders, that’s what everyone said as a form of consoling me when my father removed my title. We’re supposed to be soft and nurturing and, for some odd reason, those are unfit qualities. I never bothered to go against that. It’s not like I could magically change my biological drawback. But… I never needed to change myself biologically, did I? I could’ve fought harder. Challenge the system. Create a new expectation—hell, I was the Theerapanyakun crown prince! If I wanted to, if I had acted smart, I could’ve done something!”
“But… you didn’t.” There wasn’t any judgment in his companion’s voice. It was a statement of fact. He didn’t.
“No,” the young Omega confirms. Numbness spreads like a frost in his heart, reaching to his fingertips. “Challenging the system isn’t my thing. That was my downfall. That was the real reason I failed to earn my inheritance. My being an Omega was never the real issue—it was my inactivity, and lack of fighting spirit. I was weak.”
The truth hits him like a sledgehammer.
Nampheung reels. She pulls back sharply to look at him square in the eyes. “Weak?”
Tankhun sniffles, wondering if he stepped on something he wasn’t aware of in this conversation. “Um, yes? Yes, I- I was weak. Aunt, look at me—compared to your son, I lack so much. He fought long and hard to stay on top. He had the willpower and the brains to do what I could never imagine doing. Next to him, I am… weak.”
Kinn’s mother-in-law has an expression on her face that makes the younger Omega a little fearful. She’s still holding him at a distance and her eyes, which are naturally quite soft, have become sharp. Tankhun fights not to squirm. “Tankhun Theerapanyakun, you did not just say what I heard you said. You are not weak!”
“But-”
“No!” The matriarch snaps, her gaze blazing with fire. “Just because you’re no longer heir and didn’t do what Porsche did, it doesn’t make you weaker than him. Porsche was born a fighter. Even when he was a babe in my womb, he was active and energetic. You… you were calm. Your mother said you were her calmest pregnancy. She liked to think it was your way of taking care of her. That’s what you are, Tankhun. You’re a nurturer. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
The Omega sighs and his head drops down to stare at his hands. The skin is soft and without scars. Whatever callouses he may have had during his stint as the heir has smoothed over long ago. Nampheung seizes them, her grip gentle but firm enough to catch his attention again. He turns to her once more and she says, “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re not weaker than Porsche—you’re different.”
Then, the woman sighed. It’s a sad sound. “Aunt?” He asks, tentatively.
Her silence stretched for a while as she lost herself in thought. Flickers of emotion passed her face, yet the most prominent was grief. “Sometimes… sometimes, I wish he wasn’t a fighter.” The next breath Nampheung took was shaky like she’d been actively holding herself back from crying. “It would be easier. Safer. He could’ve been safe.”
“No,” the boy blurts. “No, he wouldn’t.”
Nampheung stutters, realizing her mistake. “O-oh, Khun, I’m sorry.”
“Be glad, aunt. Be very glad he’s a fighter.” His eyes, bright and silver in the moonlight like steel, drift away from her toward where Porsche lays beyond the walls of the wrecked compound. “He’ll need every last bit of that spirit.”