Chapter Text
It’s been a year since I started living with Aizawa and Yamada, and life could not have been better. My mother never tried to look for me, which kind of hurt but I was also grateful. She was probably glad I was finally gone from her life and truthfully I was happy to not live in that place with her anymore. I found a home here. A home where I’m loved and taken care of, and nobody sees me as a burden. I’m slowly healing and coming to terms with life. Even if I sometimes relapse into my past mental state, Aizawa and Yamada were always there to guide me through it. I even started to look forward to the future because of them.
Despite the support and comfort I had at home, school has been as difficult as ever. Bakugo hasn’t changed. The bullying and insults continued to the point Yamada wanted to confront the principal and teachers and demand that they fix their ways. It took a lot of convincing to stop him because it would reveal to the public that I was no longer at home, and that could cause problems for both Yamada and Aizawa since I was a minor. There was also the issue that if the situation escalated I would be forced to return to living with my mother. We did not want to risk anything so for now when I get home either one of them helps clean up any injuries. I see it in their eyes how they wish they could do more, but they can’t and I’m fine with it. These people have taken care of me more than anyone has in my entire life and I could never hope to cause them pain.
“Tomorrow is the day when we choose the high schools we want to go to,” I said to Aizawa.
It was almost sunset and we were sitting on the roof of the house talking a bit before he left for his late patrol. He hummed in response; a signal that he was listening and to keep talking.
“I’m thinking of applying to U.A.” I continued, looking ahead, “Do you think I’ll get in?”
“Why would you not?”
“Wouldn’t being quirkless be a disadvantage?”
“It will only be a disadvantage if you look at it as one. I told you, nothing is wrong with being quirkless.”
I smiled. There were no hints of lies in his voice. He truly thought that I could do anything I put my mind to.
“Well then, when I get into U.A. I hope you won’t miss me too much. I will have to move into the dorms and I won't be home much.” I jested.
“I’ll still see you around, kid. Did you forget that both Zashi and I are teachers there?” he asked, half smiling.
“Oh you know what I mean, it won't be the same seeing you there.” I said, “So, does that mean you won’t miss me?”
He sighed, “Of course I’ll miss you kid, and I’m sure Zashi will miss you too.”
By this point the sun had started to set, purple filling the sky. I laughed as an idea came to my head. I turned to Aizawa with a big grin, he turned his head away from the sunset to look at me.
“Whenever you miss me, just look for me in the purple sunsets. I’m sure I’ll be looking at it, and in turn looking at you too!” I beamed.
He just stared at me for a moment before letting out a small smile, “I don't think that’s how it works kid, but sure. I’ll look for you in every purple sunset I see.”
I let out a small chuckle and turned back to admire the sunset. We sat there in silence watching the sun go down, everything just felt so peaceful and quiet.
“How many times do I have to tell you two not to go on top of roofs!?” Yamada yelled from the ground, he had just gotten back from his patrol, “Get down now! Both of you! What if you guys fall!?”
Aizawa and I both gulped and rushed down from the roof. We were in for it now, Yamada was going to lecture us on safety again, and he did. Aizawa was late for his patrol that night and was once again sent to couch jail. I, on the other hand, just got a little scolding but my Dumpster privileges were revoked for the night so I had to sleep alone.
Before I left this morning, Yamada and Aizawa both wished me luck and once again expressed their support in my decision to attend U.A. As much as I wanted to get into the hero course I had to accept that without a quirk I could not. Despite what they both said, I knew I could not get into the hero course and that I should just settle for the support course. There was always something nagging me in the back of my head that they were only saying I could do it because they had to. It doesn’t make sense because they don't have to, and I try to think differently but sometimes the voices don’t let me.
The voices were something that I was still working on ‘fixing’. I could ignore them for the most part, and recently I stopped hearing them as often. Life is different now and I found ways to overcome the voices, but that doesn’t mean they don’t affect me sometimes. When it gets bad I go to either Aizawa or Yamada immediately. They are the only people who could help me block out the voices when it gets hard, because I don’t know how to control it, or myself, when it gets too loud for me to block out.
It was now almost the end of the school day, and the teacher was reviewing our school choices. Most of my classmates chose to go to regular high schools, Bakugo was the only one who wrote U.A as an option. The teacher and classmates applauded him for that decision, saying he would be number 1 in the ranks in no time. Their praises boosted his ego and he leant back into his chair with a smug look on his face.
“Bakugo isn’t the only one to put U.A as their choice,” the teacher announced, rolling her eyes at the thought of me, “you did as well, Midoriya.”
The class got quiet for a couple of seconds before bursting out into laughter. I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. They started to make comments about my lack of quirk, and how I was just wasting my time, even the teacher let out a laugh and agreed.
See, we were right, you shouldn’t have signed up for U.A. We told you, Aizawa and Yamada were just being nice. Nobody believes in you, so you might as well give up now.
The voices were interrupted by a loud explosion.
“THE HELL ARE YOU APPLYING TO MY SCHOOL FOR YOU FREAK!!!” Bakugo’s voice boomed throughout the classroom, his hands letting out explosions.
He didn’t even let me answer before rushing up to me and grabbing my shoulder, still letting out little explosions. The heat burnt into my skin, but the anger in his eyes made me scared to make any noise despite wanting to scream out in pain.
“DON’T EVEN THINK FOR A MINUTE YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH TO ENTER U.A.! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A QUIRK YOU FREAK WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT TO BE A HERO OR EVEN JOIN THE SUPPORT COURSE! YOU’LL JUST HOLD EVERYONE BACK! HELL EVEN IF YOU DIED NOBODY WOULD-”
“Bakugo enough! Back to your seat!” the teacher yelled, finally helping for once.
Bakugo scuffed before leaning down to whisper so only I could hear, “Why don’t you just do everyone a favour and take a swan dive off a rooftop huh?”
He then let go and pushed me back into my seat before returning to his.
I just sat there for the rest of class, the voices screaming at me.
Bakugo’s advice is great, why don't you just listen to him? You know he’s right, so just end it. All the pain will go away.
I couldn’t do that to Aizawa and Yamada, not after all they helped me through. I could overcome the voices on my own for now but the minute school ends I need to be back home. I need one of them to calm me down before I make a mistake I would regret.
The minute the bell rang I rushed outside, ignoring the teacher who called out my name. I needed to get home, I really needed to be with one of them. The voices didn’t stop. They kept going a mile a minute, and I was starting to believe them. I knew if I could at least see my house I would calm down a bit, so I ran trying to get home.
I got about halfway home when suddenly something-or rather someone-dropped down in front of me. Being startled by the sudden figure, I fell backwards, hitting my injured shoulder on the road I was walking on. Letting out a groan, I sat up holding my shoulder with my good hand.
“Are you alright boy?” the person asked,holding out their hand for me to take.
I accepted their outstretched hand and stood up, “I’m fine si- ALL MIGHT!?”
All Might was in front of me, THE All Might, the same hero I looked up to as a kid. The same hero Bakugo and I admired. He was right here in front of me. I could not believe my eyes.
All Might chuckled, “That’s me!”
“Oh my god it really is you! I’m a huge fan and-” I was cut off by him.
“It’s always nice to meet a fan but I’m busy right now so I need to go! Keep going boy, I believe you will achieve great things!” he said before getting ready to jump back into the air.
“Wait! I have something to ask!”
He had already started to jump so I did the only thing I could think of doing: I grabbed onto his legs and flew with him.
He let out a loud gasp asking what I thought I was doing. I repeated myself, saying that I had something to ask.
He landed on a nearby roof, the same roof I met Aizawa on, scolding me as we hit solid ground. I knew what I did was idiotic, I really did, but I needed the validation.
“Can I be a hero even if I’m quirkless?” I yelled out.
If I could hear it from my favourite hero, even if it was a lie, I could silence the voices for a bit just until I got home. I just needed to hear him say that I was worth something, that I could be a hero or even just in the support course. I needed the validation. I needed-
“HAHAHAHAHA”
He laughed. He laughed at my question. He laughed at me.
“What kind of question is that?” he asked.
I had hope.
“Of course you can’t be a quirkless hero! HAHA! What a ridiculous thing to even think about! You could barely make it into the support course without a quirk and you think you could be a hero? HAHA!”
His response made me freeze.
I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. We told you. We told you. We told you. We-
“Listen boy, you can’t achieve feats like that without a quirk. Why don’t you just settle for an office job instead huh? Anyway I’ll be going now because I’m busy. Don’t go hindering heroes again and get home safe!” All Might then leapt away, leaving me on the roof alone.
My knees lost strength and I fell to the ground in disbelief. I sat there for a while as the voices yelled at me and I argued back. I’m not sure how much time had passed, but the sun was beginning to set.
We told you, didn't we? It was useless from the start. You knew that you couldn’t do it.
‘But Aizawa and Yamada said-’
They lied to you. Can’t you see? Even All Might, the world's greatest hero, said you couldn’t do it. Do you still believe you could?
‘I- I could try- I could still try and see. I’ll have their support- Yamada and Aizawa will support me!’
Will they? Or will they give up on you like everyone else did once they realize how much of a failure you are? Accept it, even if you try you’ll fail. You’ll just disappoint them in the end.
‘There is still a chance I-’
There is no chance! You know deep down you’ll fail. And when you do, guess what? You’ll end back up right here with us. Don’t you just hate prolonging the inevitable? Why don't you just ease yourself of the pain and suffering and humiliation? The end is right there, why don’t you just…jump.
The word ‘jump’ triggered something in me. Maybe the voices were right. Maybe it would be easier to just give up now instead of wasting my and everyone else's time. Maybe I should just…give up.
My feet made its way to the edge of the building, the wind rushing through my hair as I looked down to the ground. The streets were empty minus one person walking on the opposite side. Now would be the perfect time. No crowd. Just me, the voices and the setting sun.
I just moved forward a bit, not too much, but before I knew it I was falling. I didn’t think of anything at first. It was as if time had slowed down. I just wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of the wind rushing up from beneath me. As my eyes started to close, I noticed a flash of light. I turned my head and saw the sun setting, a purple colour once again painting the skies.
“Whenever you miss me, just look for me in the purple sunsets. I’m sure I’ll be looking at it, and in turn looking at you too!”
The memory of the conversation I had with Aizawa flashed across my mind. That was when I realized what I had done. How could I have done this to him and Yamada? After all they did, this is how I was repaying them? I thought of them waiting at home right now. Yamada is just coming home from a day of teaching, and Aizawa is just lazing around on the couch since he had a day off today. The cats are probably curled up on top of him, but Dumpster is waiting at the door for me. I want to go home. I don't want to die. I want to go home to them. I want to go home to my family.
But mistakes were made and it was my fault. I wasn’t strong enough and it led to my own demise. I can’t go home despite how much I want too and it’s nobody’s fault but mine at the voices. I can’t do anything to stop it now and I will regret it. Tears flowed out of my eyes as I strangled back my cries. I want to live. For once, I really want to live.
I heard someone screaming in the background. Maybe it was the person I saw before, but I couldn’t tell what they were screaming. It was most likely about me, though. I hope I didn’t traumatise them too much. I hope they manage to overcome whatever difficulties they face in life and don’t make the same decisions I made.
“Aizawa, Yamada, thank you for looking after me for the past year and for treating me like your own son. I won’t forget the way you loved and cared for me even in death, and I’m sorry I made a decision like this. I wish you both the best in life and I hope my death doesn’t haunt you forever. And please, Aizawa, keep looking for me in purple sunsets because I will be looking out for you.” I let my last words out to the wind.
At least at the end of this I may become a star just like their friend. I closed my eyes and then the voices stopped.