Chapter Text
When did things ever go right for Yoo Joonghyuk?
He remembered the first time he met Kim Dokja. He remembered how his hair swayed in the air, hanging from his arm. He remembered that cheeky smile of his as he let go. It was the 3rd regression, yet he still remembered.
He promised to be Yoo Joonghyuk’s companion, and they both grew attached day by day. Perhaps that was why each of his deaths, his sacrifices, hurt more and more as the days passed by.
And somewhere between those unfortunate run-ins, he realised. Kim Dokja was special, different. His feelings for Kim Dokja where more than that of normal companions. His one and only companion made him feel possessive for the first time, wanting him all for himself, not to share with anyone.
Yet, it made his repeated sacrifices all the more painful. Some days, when it hurt worse than expected, he would shed a tear. Those moments were filled with a hundred different types of despair.
And so, Yoo Joonghyuk remembered how often Kim Dokja sacrificed his own life for the greater good of their companions. Every death of his felt like a new wound, he could never get used to the picture of his companion in a bloody, fleshy mess.
His death – his final one – was a sacrifice. Like usual. He technically wasn’t dead, but he looked and laid like a corpse. It hurt Yoo Joonghyuk to see that body. It hurt him so incredibly bad that he couldn’t put his pain in words, because he could’ve saved him.
Maybe if he was a little faster, maybe if he caught on to that sly plan of Kim Dokja's sooner, he would still be alive. Maybe he would’ve been grinning like the idiot he is.
But he failed.
He failed in saving that fool.
During better days, he would think that it was better that Kim Dokja was unconscious instead. It would be more merciful than having to look at the body of his companion, broken beyond repair, for days on end until he finally accepted his death.
It wasn’t always good to have a corpse to bury. Yoo Joonghyuk, for one, would never bury his body. He would hold onto it until it rotted, until the maggots running underneath Kim Dokja’s skin started eating him alive.
People would have their opinions on what he would’ve done, but it didn’t matter at the end. Kim Dokja was his companion, not theirs.
Kim Dokja’s absence took a huge toll on him, everybody could tell. So when he decided to regress yet again just to find him, it didn’t come as a surprise to the people surrounding him. That was his 1866th regression, and perhaps it was the only regression he would consider as “lucky”.
This time around, there were no scenarios. No dokkaebis. No death. It was just Seoul, just like how it was before the scenarios. Except they wouldn’t come in this world line.
At first, he was worried. How would he be able to find Kim Dokja without the scenarios? It would be close to impossible, but when he caught a glimpse of his companion in a subway station, he knew it was fated. (mm obsession and delusion)
They were meant to meet again, in this world. A part of him wondered if Kim Dokja would still be the same and know his story like he was supposed to. Still, it didn’t matter to him all that much. It was still Kim Dokja at the end of the day. (holy fuck rewrite)
But he couldn’t meet his companion like this. Kim Dokja wasn’t aware of his existence just yet, and wasn’t like he can go up to the poor man and just rant to him about the past only Yoo Joonghyuk had to suffer through.
So Yoo Joonghyuk settled for watching the man from afar. He began learning about his workplace, his friends, his home, anything and everything that surrounded him. Sure, it could be considered as stalking, but why would that matter if he was never aware of this?
And, as he expected, the times he spent on sharpening his stealth skills were worth it. It wasn’t just once when he sneaked into Kim Dokja’s house while he was deep asleep, supplying him with food that he would probably never cook with considering his busy schedule.
And, before Yoo Joonghyuk knew it, he would occasionally sneak to his beloved’s workplace and watch him from afar whenever he missed him a little too much. That helped him to gather information about what he acted like, what he hated, what he loved. He knew, stalking always came with benefits.
Yoo Joonghyuk only did this because he needed to polish himself nicely before presenting himself to Kim Dokja. He needed to be the best version of himself, the version that his companion would love, and learning more about him this way was the best solution to as little flaws as possible.
Slowly but surely, Yoo Joonghyuk became obsessed with watching his target’s each and every move whenever he could. It wasn’t like he just turned obsessed in this regression turn, anyway. His thoughts and actions when it came to his companion always leaned onto the side of being insane anyway.
All that mattered to him is that Kim Dokja returns back to him, safe and sound.
***
“Hello! Sorry for being late...” Kim Dokja bowed apologetically for his late arrival, spewing out continuous apologies. Yet, instead of focusing on what he was saying, Yoo Joonghyuk eyes wandered over his figure.
He looked outright gorgeous. Angelic, so incredibly beautiful that it must be sinful. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes were locked into his date’s figure, taking in his every feature.
It almost sounded ridiculous to say that the baggy shirt that he seemingly chose randomly fit him well. It didn’t show off any of the tantalizing curves that Yoo Joonghyuk knew he had, but the little bits of skin that showed at the slight movements he made said otherwise.
Kim Dokja’s neck, his collarbones, his jaw, his milky skin. He looked perfect today, as if his skin was made of the finest silk. He thought, ‘his skin probably would probably feel like silk too...’.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s line of thought was cut by the sweet voice calling his name is concern. “Yoo Joonghyuk, are you alright? I’ve been calling your name for a while now...” Kim dokja said, worry lacing his every word.
Just as he was about to reply, Kim Dokja added, “You know, if you don’t feel well, we can always just cancel the date and postp-”
“No..! No, I’m doing just fine. We won’t have to cancel this.” Yoo Joonghyuk interrupted. There was no way he would’ve cancelled this, not now. He worked so hard to get to this point.
Kim Dokja looked visibly shocked at the harsh tone, making him back up a little in his seat. He chuckled nervously, showing his discomfort. “Well, if you insist...” he muttered with an awkward smile.
Yoo Joonghyuk quickly regained his composure and spoke, “well, forget that. What do you do for work?” He asked even though he already knew the answer. His dearest was a game tester at a failing gaming company named ‘Minosoft’.
“Uh, I work as a basic salaryman. Nothing special. But what about you? I remember you said that you were someone with a profile back then,” Kim Dokja said, almost as if he was tiptoeing around Yoo Joonghyuk as if he were a dangerous thing.
“Not sure if you have heard of me before, but I am often known as ‘Supreme King’ on many of streaming platforms. Have you heard of me?” He questioned.
“Ah, yes! I’ve heard of you before. I watch your streams sometimes, you’re such a good player!” Kim Dokja answered with excitement, a smile plastered on his face. It was almost like he let go of all his suspicions on his date.
‘Maybe being popular comes with a few benefits...’ Yoo Joonghyuk thought.
The conversation flowed freely from that point on. Yoo Joonghyuk was grateful to the fact that he learned about all of his date’s likes and dislikes beforehand, he wouldn’t have known how to reply to him otherwise.
Only at the end of their date did they both realise how much time had passed by. The moon cascaded a soft light on Kim Dokja, making him more ethereal than he already was.
As Kim Dokja looked at the beautiful moon with shining stars, Yoo Joonghyuk could not take his eyes off him. He was gorgeous. No, words alone weren’t enough to explain his astounding beauty. Was he always this breathtaking? Yoo Joonghyuk wondered.
“You know, Yoo Joonghyuk? I Thought you were a bad guy.” Kim Dokja turned to him with a smile, abruptly stopping his wandering eyes to stop at his eyes. “You were shady, dangerous even, but maybe you weren’t as bad as i thought.”
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t sure was Kim Dokja found funny in his face, but he suddenly started chuckling at the sight of him. “What’s so funny about my face?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
“Nothing really. Just...” Kim Dokja started. “You feel familiar. Like someone close that I lost a long time ago only to find them again,” he finished with a soft smile.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s breath hitches at that. He thought, ‘does he remember me? Maybe meeting him really was a work of fate. Maybe we really were meant for each other after all.’ But, instead of vocalising his thoughts, he smiled back.
“Maybe you were the one I was meant to find.” he replied with a grin.
***
Before Kim Dokja realises it, it was Monday again and he’d have to go to his ridiculous job. His mind was still stuck on yesterday; on the date he had. Yoo Joonghyuk... it was hard to believe that this was their first meeting. Well technically his second, but he wouldn’t count their first meeting actual one.
The two of them just clicked. He didn’t know how or why, but it felt like the two of them knew each other beforehand. They way Yoo Joonghyuk knew about everything he liked, it was the exact type of weirdness that he liked.
As he got out of his coffin-like house, his phone buzzed showing a text from an unknown number. Probably just some spam text. Still, he decided to read it as he walked out of the apartment complex.
The message read; “Hey. Do you know about some guy named Yoo Joonghyuk?”
The message caught Kim Dokja off-guard. Feeling intrigued, he opened the message.
Unknown: Hey. Do you know about some guy named Yoo Joonghyuk?
Unknown: Stay away from him if you can.
Unknown: He used to be someone I knew very well, but there’s no telling what he might do.
Unknown: Especially since you’re his only target.
Unknown: Stay safe.
Dumbfounded, Kim Dokja stood frozen in front of the apartment gate.
Huh?
Hurriedly, he tried to reply to the unknown person, but his message couldn't go through. What was this? He finally meets the person that he thought he could try to have a steady relationship with, but then this had to happen? Kim Dokja sighed as he closed his phone and kept on walking.
He mulled over the thought on his mind and chuckled at himself over the realisation he came up with. So what if he was a little insane? Everybody has a bit of mental instability in them, anyway. Suddenly he felt a bit cheerful. He finally met his match, didn’t he? Having a slightly deranged person around with him had been his goal for a while anyway.
As Kim Dokja approached the station, he thought he would meet his only colleague on the way, but Yoo Sangah was nowhere to be seen. He felt a bit sad that she didn’t go by the subway for these past days, although she might’ve just gotten her bike back. He remembered that a couple of days ago, she said that her bike was stolen, and she had no choice but to go by the subway.
Unfazed, he stepped onto the subway bus and picked a novel to read on his phone on his way to his dreadful job. Stories really were his only escape, huh? How pathetic, he chuckled lightly to himself.
***
Settling into his closed off cubical, a thought crossed over his mind. Why hasn’t Yoo Sangah greeted him at all this week? She would usually greet him during the mornings the moment she spotted him, waving his way or even giving a simple smile. A hint of worry crossed his mind, but he brushed it off.
It wasn’t like she was forced to greet him every single morning. She could’ve just had a ton of work to finish, or she just naturally got bored of him. Both options were equally valid. He let go of the thought and started writing on the new keyboard that Yoo Sangah got for him recently.
Just as Kim Dokja was about to write his report of the new game he tested recently, someone tapped his shoulder. He sighed inwardly before turning to find his boss, Han Myungoh, eyeing him with suspicion. He quickly got up from his seat to greet his damned superior.
“You. Kim Dokja, was it? Come to with me, we have something important to discuss,” Han Myungoh said as he walked, expecting Kim Dokja to walk after him.
“...yes sir, I’ll be on my way.” Kim Dokja replied, visibly confused. Did something happen? Maybe they were finally firing him from the company. Yet, instead of feeling upset at the fact that he might be getting fired, he was more surprised at the fact that he wasn’t fired any sooner.
As the pair walked into Han Myungoh’s office, two police officers discussing something around the side caught his attention. The moment he and his boss stepped in, the officers’ attention redirected from their conversation to Kim Dokja. After whispering a few things to one another, one of the officers stepped up and introduced himself to the poor office worker.
“Hello. We're officers from the neighbouring police station,” an officer said, extending a hand. Kim Dokja took it hesitantly. “We are here to investigate a disappearance that occurred recently around here. Would you mind answering a few questions to help us solve this case?”
A disappearance? What does have to help with a disappearance? “I would be pleased to answer your questions, but what do i have to do with this disappearance?” He asked.
“Well, the person who was pronounced missing seemed to have a close relationship with you,” Explained the officer. “Does the name ‘Yoo Sangah’ ring any bells? she was last seen with you on the night she disappeared.”
Kim Dokja’s stomach dropped.
She was missing? So that was why he didn’t see her for so long. He wondered what happened to her, she wasn’t the type to be easily lured anywhere. He can thank the creepy men all over their job for that.
“...Yes, I can try to help you. What is it?” Kim Dokja finally replied. He was obviously nervous, anyone who saw his face could tell, but he wouldn’t let the opportunity to help his only friend slip away.
***
He sighed as he left the office. It was all so confusing, he felt like that a lot these days. All they asked him was if he knew internal relationships with his colleague, who she was meeting. How would he know things like that? He was just a friend, nothing more. And even then, he’d have to go to the police station next Friday for more investigation. He sighed at the fact that his only free day was taken away without his consent.
Kim Dokja wondered what happened to her. It was all so sudden, too. If he knew that something might’ve happened to her, he would’ve asked her something sooner. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. A feeling of guilt settled deep inside his stomach.
The more he thought about what happened, the more he thought that someone was behind it. Was it someone he knew? His mind wandered back to the messages he got a while back. Could it be... Yoo Joonghyuk?
...
Kim Dokja laughed to himself at the thought. Why would it be Yoo Joonghyuk? He had nothing to do with Yoo Sangah, considering that they never even met. Besides, it wasn’t like Yoo Joonghyuk was a killer or something of the like. He didn't seem the type to hold grudges strong enough to end lives.
Or maybe he did, and it was all hidden under that stoic face of his. Kim Dokja let his mind wander as he sat down in his little cubical. He was always like this, making his life even a bit more interesting by making fantasies out of his bland life and often liking them much more than the real world.
Today was going much better than he expected. He hummed as he happily wrote down his game report, letting his mind wander to other places every now and then.
***
Tired and dishevelled, Kim Dokja went back home as usual. Carrying a bag of instant food that would last him a week, he carefully opened his apartment door, juggling his bags and suit bag in one hand and his keys in the other.
“I’m home...” he whispered, putting his things down before laying down on his hard bed. He was exhausted, his body felt like it could fall apart at any moment. He had to run to catch his subway, since his bastard of a boss made him stay late enough to almost miss his bus.
Kim Dokja could barely survive a light workout, let alone run like his life depended on it. That was probably why he was so tired, if not that, then the ridiculous amount of work he had to do at work.
All he wanted to do is read the new episodes from his favourite novel while eating his pathetic instant noodles for a meal. His life wasn’t filled with different things to do throughout the day, but it made him happy anyway.
Just as he was about to put on music to listen to while he read, his phone buzzed to notify him of an incoming call. The caller was Yoo Joonghyuk. A part of Kim Dokja felt a bit embarrassed for thinking about him all day, but he mostly just felt excited. He hoped that his imaginations would come into reality.
Hesitantly, Kim Dokja answered the call. A thick, luxurious voice travelled through his earphones and to his ears. “Hey, how are you?” said Yoo Joonghyuk. A small smile crept onto Kim Dokja’s face as he heard the other speak.
“I’m doing good. What's up?” He replied
The younger asked, “Are you free any time this weekend for another date? Any day this week would suffice.”
“Oh, sure!” Kim Dokja answered. “I can go on Saturday since I’m not free on Friday.”
Kim Dokja felt his cheeks heat up. Damn, he’s pathetic. Sure, he fell for someone after only one date, but he didn’t even fall for the real person. He daydreamed about a life that wasn’t real and fell for the person he imagined Yoo Joonghyuk to be.
“Where do you have to go this Friday? If you don’t mind me asking,” Questioned Yoo Joonghyuk.
“Nothing much, just going to the local police station to help with an interrogation. My colleague went missing recently, and I was the last person seen with her,” Kim Dokja said casually, as if it wasn’t his own friend that was missing.
There was an unusually long pause on the other line. Sighs and breathing could be heard, but not a single word was uttered. Out of discomfort, Kim Dokja asked, “Hey, are you still here?”
“Ah, yes I am.” There was a brief pause before Yoo Joonghyuk spoke again. “I’ve just been spacing out a lot because of how busy I’ve been recently. Sorry about that,” he said.
“It’s alright!” Said Kim Dokja cheerfully. “About the date, how about the same time next Saturday? You can choose the place, of course.”
“Alright, Saturday is a good day for me. I’ll send you the details on where we should meet later,” said the voice across the phone.
Kim Dokja smiled to himself. ”Alright. See you, Yoo Joonghyuk,” he said, before hanging up. He giggled and let himself fall back on his mattress, hugging his phone as if it was the person he was just talking to.
He couldn’t wait until their next meeting, getting giddy while just thinking about their next date. He thought all about his Yoo Joonghyuk, the one he imagined. Sure, it was an insane thing to imagine, but it wasn’t like he was sane in the first place.
The disappearance of his friend slipped over his mind as he giggled over a romance that would’ve never happened, letting his focus slip from what he was reading and back to it occasionally.