Chapter Text
“Come here Da Qiong.” Wu Suo Wei's mom requests as she watches her son and Chi Cheng gaze at each other without breathing. She has seen their love and can feel their need to talk to one another.
Wu Suo Wei's feet shuffle forward, almost knocking the water dispenser over. He bends down to pick it up, never taking his eyes off Chi Cheng's as he does so.
Every part of Chi Cheng’s body was screaming to move, to close the space, to drag him in by the wrist and shake the lies out of him until all that was left was the truth but he stayed still. His fingers twitched where they rested on the hospital sheets.
When Suowei gets closer and their bodies brush briefly as he places the water dispenser back down, it felt almost impossible to keep breathing because that accidental brush of skin set every nerve in Chi Cheng’s body on fire. It was like someone had jammed a defibrillator to his chest and slammed him back to life.
He could feel blood surging back to places that had been dead for days. The way Suo Wei exhaled, breath shaking like he was barely holding it together, made Chi Cheng want to grab him by the collar, shove him against the nearest wall, and make him say it.
Say it wasn’t over.
“I'm here mom.” Wu Suo Wei says as he stands tensely beside Chi Cheng, he doesn't dare to keep looking at his ex, out of fear of seeing the love in his eyes disappear, or turn to hate.
Meanwhile Chi Cheng had to restrain himself because he wanted to own him again.
To bend him back against the curve of his own spine.
To devour his mouth until the only words that came out of it were…yes, Chi Cheng. Yours
“Give me your hands.”
The mother says as she brings her IV injected hand over her stomach. Wu Suo Wei moves forward and takes his mom's hand, his knee touching and pressing into Chi Cheng's as he comes to a standstill again.
The feeling is familiar and grounding, so much like the feeling of being home.
Wu Suo Wei tries not to, but he exhales unevenly as his mother takes his hands and places them on top of Chi Cheng's.
Chi Cheng nearly choked.
His whole body reacted with a jolt.
He burned under the contact. That hand, the same one that used to grab at him in the dark, that used to run lazy patterns over his skin, that used to fit perfectly in his own was on him again.
And it was killing him.
And it was saving him.
“I don't have anything more precious to give you than my son, Xiao Chi, but I'm giving him to you with my blessing, and my final wishes for you and him to be happy in the life you've chosen together.”
Chi Cheng's ribs locked up around the force of those words.
She was giving him Suo Wei.
His mouth parted like he was about to speak but nothing came out.
Then her eyes turned to Suowei “My precious son, I'm not rich, and besides the house I raised you in. All I have to give you as well is my blessing for your relationship with Xiao Chi."
“Mom..” Wu Suo Wei sobs as he grabs hold of Chi Cheng's hand, his fingernails digging into his skin as he takes strength from being with him even though he can hardly breathe.
Chi Cheng didn't know if Suo Wei meant to touch him that much, didn’t know if it was just for show, for his mother’s sake. But none of it mattered in that second because every inch of Chi Cheng’s skin roared back to life.
But his heart turned inside out. Was this real? Or just a kindness in front of dying eyes?
Was Suo Wei giving in or giving a performance?
Was this for him or for her?
“This isn't only a death bed blessing, my baby boy. I would have blessed your relationship with Xiao Chi if I was going to live thirty more years. I love you, and I'm proud and happy you found someone you love and that loves you.”
She continues “Maintaining a relationship isn't easy, but it is worth it. I know and see how much you two love each other, but I can also see you two need to talk.”
She smiles softly “So go and talk and I'll be here when you two come back, I promise.” Wu Suo Wei's mom says as she pats her son's and Chi Cheng's connected hands.
“We'll be back soon.” Wu Suo Wei tells his mom as he kisses her. Their tears mingle as she kisses his cheek back. “Thank you and I love you.” He whispers when he hugs her while subconsciously lacing his fingers through Chi Cheng's fingers.
And Chi Cheng nearly broke apart.
It was like oxygen flooding lungs that had only known drowning. He squeezed back, hard.
But even then, in that breathless rush of being whole again, the voice in the back of his mind whispered: Is this just for her?
Are you still pretending?
As they stepped into the sterile hallway of the hospital, he glanced down at their hands.
Wu Suo Wei's hand is already trembling from holding himself together, and he has to dart his eyes away because he knows he will fall apart in the middle of the hospital hallway if he looks at Chi Cheng for too long.
Meanwhile Chi Cheng had a gnawing need for answers. Just a few days ago, Suo Wei said nothing was real, that what they had was a lie. And now, here Suo Wei was clutching his hand like it was his lifeline, like Chi Cheng was his everything. What the fuck was he supposed to make of that?
Chi Cheng stopped walking, his boots scuffing against the polished floor, and stared at him, jaw tightening as he tried to read the truth in those wide eyes. But neither of them spoke. The silence stretched and his hope flickered, fragile as a dying flame, but the anger surged stronger. He didn’t know what game Suo Wei was playing, didn’t know if he could trust this sudden shift, this desperate cling to him.
Chi Cheng’s eyes narrowed into a hard, piercing glare, and with a sharp tug, he released Suo Wei’s hand but before Suo Wei could react, Chi Cheng grabbed his wrist in a bruising grip, his fingers wrapping tight around the delicate bones, and yanked him toward the nearest empty room just off the hallway.
Wu Suo Wei wanted to say something but he just wasn't ready to talk. He didn't know how to cut through every desperate, and hateful thing he, they had said to each other without killing the love between them, the same love that he had thought was one sided.
The door swung open and he dragged Suo Wei inside, ignoring the startled glances from a couple of doctors passing by. Their eyes widened, mouths opening as if to protest, but one look at the storm in Chi Cheng’s expression, the hard set of his jaw, the dangerous glint in his gaze, shut them down before they could utter a word. They didn’t dare stop him. He didn’t give a fuck what they thought anyway. This was between him and Suo Wei, and he’d be damned if anyone got in his way right now.
With a swift kick, Chi Cheng slammed the door shut behind them.
Wu Suo Wei felt the vibration of the slammed door in his bones, and he knew he wouldn't be getting out of this room until he opened a different kind of door and explained himself, answered his ex's burning, anger tinted questions for him.
Releasing Suo Wei’s wrist, he backed him against the nearest wall, his body towering over Suo Wei’s smaller frame as he cornered him. One hand slammed against the wall beside Suo Wei’s head, his palm flat against the surface, just inches from Suo Wei’s face.
His other hand shot to Suo Wei’s jaw, fingers gripping the delicate line of his chin with a commanding hold, forcing his head up so he had no choice but to meet his gaze.
Wu Suo Wei didn’t fight or try to flee. He didn't flinch and he even welcomed the familiar feeling of pressure to his jaw as his face was pulled up and locked in place to narrow his point of view to one place, Chi Cheng's face, the face that makes it so hard for him to breathe because of how much he missed seeing it, and how much he loves it.
“You’re going to explain yourself today.” Chi Cheng demanded. His thumb pressed lightly against the underside of Suo Wei’s jaw, tilting his face further up, forcing him to stay locked in his gaze as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against Suo Wei’s cheek.
The act makes Wu Suo Wei's eyes soften because he is reminded of their last soft moment, when they were nuzzling their cheeks together. “I'll explain.” He says, not because it was demanded of him, but because he wanted to.
“Who did you lie to?” Chi Cheng asked “Was it me, when you said none of it was real?”
“Or did you lie to her,” he continued, eyes narrowing. “When you told her you loved me?”
His grip on Suo Wei’s jaw tightened and his eyes bore into his, searching, dissecting every flicker of emotion that crossed Suo Wei’s face.
He wanted to trust the way Suo Wei had clung to his hand out there in the hallway, the way he looked at him now, like Chi Cheng was both his salvation and his damnation. But doubt gnawed at him.
What if those words a few days ago were the truth?
“This time, you’re going to look me straight in the fucking eyes, Suowei, and you’re going to tell me the real truth,” Chi Cheng growled, his voice dipping lower as he leaned even closer, his lips hovering just a breath from Suo Wei’s, his body pressing him harder against the wall.
“I’ll know if you try to deceive me, and I’m warning you now, don’t even fucking think about it. I’ve been inside you too many times. I’ve felt your truth in my hands, in your body, in the way you fucking looked at me and I’ve had enough of your evasions. Your mouth better speak the truth, or I swear, I’ll drag it out of you one way or another.”
His hand beside Suo Wei’s head curled into a fist against the wall, knuckles whitening as he fought to keep his composure. His other hand softened for just a moment, thumb brushing over the curve of Suo Wei’s jaw, a fleeting tenderness.
Inside, his mind raced, did he even want the truth if it wasn’t what he hoped for? Could he handle it if Suo Wei looked him in the eye and said he was nothing to him, that he’d only said those words for his mother's sake? But he had to know. He had to. Because if there was even a shred of hope, a single thread of truth that tied Suo Wei’s heart to his, Chi Cheng would fight for it with everything he had.
Questions, pressure, demands, threats and sexual reminders of what they were, how deeply they knew each other hit Wu Suo Wei like slaps that his ex would never actually use on him. He looked into Chi Cheng's eyes and saw how easily he could break him.
“I lied to you. It was real, so much of what I felt for you, and did with you was real”
He takes a deep breath.
“When I said nothing was real, that was the biggest of all the lies I ever told you. I thought it was what you needed to hear to let me go, so you could love who you really loved. I just didn't see as I broke my heart that I was breaking yours as well. That I was breaking you away from the one you love, me, as I broke myself away from the one I love, you.”
He pauses for a moment, then continues.
“I also lied to my mom when I said I loved you. Because I didn't just love in the past, I love you now, only you, to the point that I have nothing to give anyone else because I gave it all to you to keep until the day I die.” Wu Suo Wei tells Chi Cheng, his hand going up to cup his face as he brings his other hand over his heart both shattered, and glowing with shards of hope.
“You are here in ways deeper than you could ever imagine.” He says as he taps and claws at his heart like he wants to rip it out and show off how deeply the name Chi Cheng is in imbedded there.
“You can touch, bite, claw, and enter all of me. Every part of me will tell you what we were, and…what we can be is real. I love you.” He continues, eyes shimmering with cleansing tears, a small but loving smile on his face as he lets go of all the tension in his body and opens himself to either being let go or being pulled in.
Chi Cheng’s breath caught in his throat as Wu Suo Wei’s words sliced through him. Each trembling syllable was cutting away the doubt and anger until all that remained was a desperate need. His eyes darkened, pupils blown wide as he stared into Suo Wei’s shimmering gaze, seeing the love that mirrored his own.
The control he’d been clinging to shattered like glass, and a low growl rumbled from deep in his chest. “Fuck, Weiwei,” he rasped. His hand on Suo Wei’s jaw tightened briefly, thumb pressing into the soft flesh beneath his chin as he tilted his face up further, forcing him to hold his gaze for just a second longer. Then, unable to hold back, Chi Cheng surged forward, crashing his lips against Suo Wei’s in a kiss.
Love,
Real,
His,
Mine, he moans and then keens as his mouth is invaded and claimed by Chi Cheng's tongue. Home. He thinks as he caresses up Chi Cheng's face and grabs hold of his shirt in an attempt to merge their bodies more.
The taste of him...fuck, it was like coming home after being lost for too damn long. Chi Cheng's teeth were grazing his bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. His tongue pushed past, exploring every inch as if he could erase every second of distance between them with this one kiss. His hand slid from Suo Wei’s jaw to the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, gripping tight as he angled his head to deepen the contact, swallowing every sound Suo Wei made.
His other hand, still pressed against the wall, slid down to Suo Wei’s waist, fingers digging into his hip with a possessive grip. He pressed his body harder against Suo Wei’s, pinning him to the cold hospital wall as he ground against him, letting him feel the hard evidence of how much he’d missed him.
A shiver of pleasure goes up Wu Suo Wei's spine as he feels the possessive grip on his hip, and a familiar hardness being ground into him.
“Goddamn it, I’ve missed you,” Chi Cheng growled against his lips, pulling back just enough to speak. “Every fucking day, Weiwei.”
“I've missed you too.” Wu Suo Wei replies. His voice heavy with lust and longing as he pleads for another kiss.
Chi Cheng's hands moved, sliding down to Suo Wei’s thighs, gripping them firmly as he hoisted him up, pinning him against the wall with his body.
Wu Suo Wei moved both his hands into Chi Cheng's hair.
Chi Cheng's fingers dug into the flesh of Suo Wei’s thighs as he pressed his forehead against Suo Wei’s, “You have no idea what you’ve done to me.”
“Show me then” Wu Suo Wei says as he bops his nose against Chi Cheng's.
His lips found Suo Wei’s again, softer this time but no less intense. One hand slid up from Suo Wei’s thigh to his lower back, pulling him tighter against him, while the other cupped the side of his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone with a tenderness that belied the dominance of his hold. He kissed down Suo Wei’s jaw, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the column of his neck. “Mine,” he muttered against the bruised flesh, the word slipping out before he could stop it, but it wasn’t harsh or possessive, it was a plea.
Wu Suo Wei's fingers twirled and pulled at Chi Cheng's hair and a tear trails down his face as he buries his face in Chi Cheng's neck. “Yours.” He says while kissing that word into the skin of the man he loves.
Chi Cheng’s hips rocked against Suo Wei’s after he said he was his, the friction sending heat spiraling through him as he worshiped every inch he could reach. His lips moved lower, nipping at Suo Wei’s collarbone, hands roaming over his sides, mapping out the familiar planes of his body like he needed to relearn every curve, every dip. “I missed this,” he breathed, “Missed the way you feel against me, the way you fucking tremble when I touch you. Missed your smell, your taste. Fuck, I missed everything.”
Wu Suo Wei muffles his moans but doesn't shut them off completely as he gets grinded into. He racks his nails over Chi Cheng's scalp as he gets worshipped by hands and lips. “Me too. I've missed all this.” Wu Suo Wei says, trembling from Chi Cheng's words rather than his touch because he is falling apart in the best way from them.
He pulled back just enough to look at him. His grip on Suo Wei’s thighs tightened, holding him effortlessly as he pressed him harder into the wall. “You’re never going to lie to me again” he said. “You're never going to leave me again.”
“I won't.” Wu Suo Wei says with a tiny gasp of pleasured pain from the grip on his thighs.
His hand slid up Suo Wei’s side after his Da Bao's response, pushing under his shirt, fingers splaying wide over the warm skin of his waist as he dragged them up. He leaned in again, capturing Suo Wei’s lips in another searing kiss, his tongue claiming him all over again as his other hand gripped the back of Suo Wei’s thigh, hitching him higher against him.
“Chi Cheng..” Wu Suo Wei whimpers. The skin on skin contact should be more than enough but almost feels like teasing when his nipples are not touched the way he wanted them to be.
Chi Cheng's fingers pressed harder into Suo Wei’s skin as he held him close, refusing to let even an inch of space come between them. “I love you,” he muttered against Suo Wei’s lips, “Always will. And I’m gonna show you, right here, right now, until you can’t doubt it for a second.”
“I love you too. For the rest of my life.”
Chi Cheng shifted, adjusting his hold so one arm wrapped fully around Suo Wei’s waist, supporting him as his other hand slid up to cradle the back of his head, pulling him into another deep kiss. His body pressed flush against Suo Wei’s, every hard line of him grinding against the softer curves of Suo Wei’s frame.
Home, heaven, peace.
Wu Suo Wei mentally sighs into another deep all devouring and loving kiss.
Chi Cheng was lost in him, drowning in the feel of Suo Wei in his arms after so long, and he’d be damned if he let anything or anyone pull them apart again.
It happened before Wu Suo Wei could stop it. Not that he wanted to even if he had the time to. One moment he was kissed, and being brought to a needy pleasure by endless grinds to his body and then the next, his pants and underwear were off his ass and a hard cock had entered him. It was fucking perfect in both pain and pleasure to be open so raw, and it left him numb in parts, but so achingly alive in ways he didn't know existed.
By the time he was back on the ground, cleaned up, and redressed, he thought he was going to need to be checked into the hospital.
Meanwhile Chi Cheng couldn’t keep his eyes off Suo Wei as they stumbled back toward his mom’s hospital room. His heart was still pounding with the heat of what they’d just done against that cold wall. Every step Suo Wei took sent a jolt of satisfaction through him. He’d been deep inside him, claiming every inch, and the way Suo Wei moved now...fuck, it was proof of how thoroughly he’d taken him apart.
Wu Suo Wei wanted to rip some of Chi Cheng's hair out from the way he was watching him, how he was replaying what they did in that empty hospital room like his brain was a camcorder. But his body hurt too much to jump around and exhaust himself further, and he had something more important to do.
Chi Cheng adjusted Suo Wei’s shirt before they reached the door, making sure the marks he’d left on his neck and collarbone were hidden. Those were for him, not for anyone else to see, especially his mother. A faint smirk tugged at his lips as he watched Suo Wei try to compose himself.
“Thanks.” Wu Suo Wei tells Chi Cheng while squatting his hands away from his body and took another series of deep breaths to collect himself for what he was about to do.
Confessing his feelings had been hard enough in secret, but now he was about to make his relationship with the man he loves open to his mom.
When they entered the room, Chi Cheng fixed his face into a smile, the kind he only wore around her, but his hand slid lower down Suo Wei’s back, fingers pressing lightly against the curve of his waist.
“Stop.” Wu Suo Wei mutters under his breath.
Chi Cheng looked at Suo Wei once more, those pretty, guilty eyes flicking toward him like he was trying not to let his body betray what had just happened behind closed doors.
“No.” Wu Suo Wei says, setting a hard line not to cross in front of his mom as Chi Cheng's teasing fingers go towards the deep bite mark between his neck and shoulder.
Chi Cheng gave a soft exhale, every part of him still thrummed with it. The scent of Suo Wei on his skin. The feel of his legs wrapped around him. His voice cracking against Chi Cheng’s neck when he gave in.
He adjusted Suo Wei’s sleeve one more time, fingertips lingering and leaned in to whisper low, for Suo Wei’s ears only:
“Try to walk straighter, baobei. I don’t need her guessing how deep I was inside you.”
“You..” Wu Suo Wei curses without cursing after what his soon to boyfriend again whispered in his ear. He feels like kicking something when he sees the smile forming on Chi Cheng's face.
Chi Cheng grinned, wide and innocent, back to being the dutiful son in law.
But his hand never left Suo Wei’s back.
“We're back.” Wu Suo Wei says to his mom. Stating the obvious as he takes Chi Cheng's hand off his back and grips it in his hands like he is trying to break it. His mom smiles at them as he clears his throat.
“Mom. I want to introduce Chi Cheng properly to you.” He says as he looks up at the man he loves before looking at his mom's face.
“Go ahead, Da Qiong. I'm listening.” Wu Suo Wei's mom says and folds her hands above the blanket.
“Mom. This is Chi Cheng. The man I love, my boyfriend, and the person who is never going to let me be alone again"