Chapter Text
Their angle was shallow at first, letting Bellamy get used to the sensation of hard, heavy thickness pressing him open further and further. It didn’t hurt, exactly but it was new, and he found himself tensing up from time to time, clenching his fists and heaving deep rough breaths until the other man's gentle caresses soothed him back down. Kane stroked Bellamy’s arms and shoulders, he pressed light kisses into his neck, he murmured quietly into the boy’s ear with warm breath that made him shiver. He went slow and shallow, gliding just a few inches in and out at a time, feeling waves of pleasure overtake him, and by the time Bellamy mumbled a rough, hoarse “more,” both of them were aching all over.
“Are you okay?” Kane whispered into Bellamy's warm skin. “Is this okay?”
Bellamy nodded, eyes pressed closed, brow furrowed as if in furious concentration. “S’good,” he muttered, voice muffled by the pillow pressed beneath his cheek. “I – oh, oh fuck – I like it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I like it too,” Kane murmured, hand sliding down to palm Bellamy’s hip as he let his lips rest hotly against the soft little hollow at the back of his neck where caramel skin vanished into thick black curls. “You feel so good.”
“Can you . . . can we . . . “
“More?”
“More,” the boy repeated desperately, a plea in his gravelly voice.
“I want to look at you,” Kane breathed into his skin, lips brushing faintly against the back of his ear. “I want to see your face.” Bellamy nodded breathlessly, fists clutching helplessly at the sheets, as Kane gently, slowly pulled out of him and shifted his weight off the boy’s back. “Here,” he murmured, guiding Bellamy by the shoulder to help him roll over and settle back against the pillows. “If this is uncomfortable, let me know,” he cautioned him. Bellamy nodded again, biting his lip slightly, his expression an endearing blend of nervousness and raw desire.
Kane gently guided him into position, moving between Bellamy’s parted knees and sliding a strong hand beneath each thigh to lift the boy’s legs around his back. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah, that’s okay.”
“We can, at this angle, we can . . . go a little deeper. If you want.” Bellamy’s eyes widened with an expression of eagerness mixed with apprehension. Kane smiled at him. “I’ll go slow,” he reassured him, ducking his head to press a gentle kiss against Bellamy’s thigh.
“You don’t . . . “ Bellamy swallowed hard. “You don’t have to,” he muttered, almost shyly, in a voice so quiet Kane barely heard it. “I mean . . . if you want.”
“Say it,” Kane whispered as Bellamy’s arms slid up his arms to wrap around his back, pulling him in close. “I like it when you say it.”
“More,” Bellamy groaned softly, and Kane gripped Bellamy’s hips in his strong hands to lift him off the pillows and plunge his cock back inside.
They began slowly, Kane pushing with gentle but insistent firmness deeper and deeper inside him, Bellamy gasping as he felt himself stretched open from the inside out. Kane let himself go further this time, pressing in further and further as he watched Bellamy’s eyes widen in stunned pleasure at the new sensation. His arms closed powerfully around Kane’s back, holding him in place, pulling him suddenly downward, their bodies locked into a knot as Kane’s cock surged sharply and abruptly up inside Bellamy. The change in angle did something brand-new, and Bellamy cried out in something that sounded like pain, but wasn’t, as the head of that pulsing, heavy cock deep inside him nudged at some deeply-hidden place where no one had ever touched him before.
“What,” he gasped, unable to say anything more articulate. “What . . .”
“Oh, that’s called your prostate,” Kane murmured in a husky voice, nibbling a little at Bellamy’s ear. “It’s easier for me to reach at this angle. Very sensitive to contact.”
“Did . . . oh, fuck, Kane, oh my God . . . did Abby teach you how to do this?”
Kane smiled, but didn’t respond, simply pressed in deeper, tapping again and again at the hidden pleasure spot until Bellamy was almost in tears.
“Please,” he begged wildly. “Please. Please, please.”
“You feel extraordinary,” Kane marveled, gazing down at him in wonder. “Oh God, Bellamy. I can’t believe how good you feel.”
“Kane, I . . . oh, fuck . . . I can’t . . . Kane, please . . .”
“Say it, love.”
“More,” Bellamy whimpered, and Kane’s hips picked up speed, Bellamy’s rising to meet him over and over. Kane leaned down to seize the boy’s softly parted mouth with his own, licking into him hot and hard and swallowing the delicious sounds of his muffled, desperate groaning.
“Oh, fuck, Bellamy,” Kane murmured, lips drifting from Bellamy’s mouth to his cheek to his jaw, kissing him so frantically he left a trail of rose-colored beard scratches behind him. “You make me feel so good.” Bellamy’s hips lifted over and over, crashing into Kane’s, the hot slap of flesh on flesh driving them both on. Bellamy ducked his head to the hollow of Kane’s throat to kiss him, peppering sharp little bites along the flesh, causing Kane to let loose a low, loud groan of pleasure that he didn’t try even a little bit to silence.
“Oh Jesus,” murmured Bellamy, “what are we gonna do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m about to come,” he whispered, “and it feels like you’re close too.”
“I’m so close, love,” Kane breathed in a choked, rough gasp.
“Should we stop, and finish ourselves off?” Bellamy suggested. “So it’s quieter.”
“I don’t care.”
“People will hear us if you keep going like that.”
“I don’t care who hears, Bellamy,” Kane fired back. “I don’t care.”
“You will when people start asking who you were fucking in Abby’s quarters while she’s away.”
“No, I won’t.”
“People will hear – “
“I don’t care, I don’t care,” Kane hissed desperately, “they’re all drunk and half-dead anyway.”
“Kane – “
“We always have to be quiet, we always have to be secretive, and I hate it,” Kane burst forth with a vehemence that stunned Bellamy into silence. “It’s awful. It’s an awful way to live. Bellamy, I love you, I want you to be with us for the rest of our lives, but am I never going to get to hear what you really sound like when you come because we’re all so damned terrified of your sister?”
The silence that followed was awful.
Bellamy froze beneath him, body shuddering to a halt as his hands grew still against Kane’s shoulders, and there was an interminable pause as unsaid things hung heavy in the air between them. Kane seemed almost angry – but not, Bellamy thought, at him.
A sharp dagger of guilt sliced through him as he realized how selfish he’d been. He hated leaving them in the dark every morning before dawn, slinking back to his quarters like a criminal; he’d resented the silence and shame, but he’d only thought about the way it affected himself. He hadn’t stopped to think that it ran in both directions – that Kane and Abby thought they were protecting him, that the secrecy was painful for them too. That every day he couldn’t tell anyone about their relationship was a day that he treated them like they didn’t matter. It had been months since the first time he’d slept with Abby, yet outside this bedroom it was still only Raven who knew. And it had certainly been mutual – it was no one’s fault, no one had pushed secrecy and deceit on the others – but Bellamy realized with a sudden heart-shattering pang of grief that he had never stopped to think about the sadness of the two people he was leaving behind him, every time he crept silently out of their bedroom to return to his own. There was a part of him that somehow believed that, because they had each other, their suffering was less than his.
Kane’s clenched jaw softened at the stricken look on his face. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, letting go of the boy’s thighs and pulling softly out of him to crawl up to the head of the bed, cradling Bellamy’s face in his rough hands and kissing his mouth gently. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be harsh.”
“It’s okay, Kane.”
“No, it isn’t. I should never – Bellamy, I didn’t mean – “
“We’re okay, we’re good, I promise,” he insisted, desperately trying to force enough of a smile to erase the raw, mortified pain from Kane’s face. “We’re okay.”
“It’s complicated,” Kane whispered, “it’s so complicated, I shouldn’t have said that, I shouldn’t have pushed you. We’re all at fault, we’ve all been too afraid, and I don’t know where we go from here, but I just . . . “ He kissed him again, aching with love. “I wish things were easy, even just for a little while,” he said in a hollow, desolate voice. “But they never are.”
“It’s gonna be okay,” Bellamy tried to reassure him, feeling his love for Kane send a thousand tiny cracks running through his heart at the sadness in the older man’s eyes. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Kane rested his head wearily on Bellamy’s shoulder, heavy with sadness, desire forgotten for the moment as Bellamy stroked his bare back with soothing hands. It was an odd sensation, giving comfort to Kane, but not an unpleasant one. It felt good, to be needed like this.
“You think we love you less than we love each other,” Kane said suddenly, reading every thought on Bellamy’s face, the words tumbling out of his mouth almost against his will. “You still don’t trust this.”
“Kane – “
“I knew the first moment I met you,” he murmured, shocking all the breath out of Bellamy’s lungs. “I didn’t let myself know, not for a long time, but I knew.”
“You didn’t seem to like me much at first, as I recall.”
“You didn’t like me too much, either.”
“That’s fair.”
“You drove me absolutely up the wall, with your endless stubbornness,” Kane said dryly. “God, but you were a thorn in my side.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“But there was still . . . something there,” he went on thoughtfully. “From the very first moment, there in the woods. All covered in blood and dirt. You were so angry and so brave and so determined, and you never stopped fighting. You were the most . . . alive person I’d ever met.”
“You saved my life that day,” Bellamy murmured, remembering, his hands running softly through Kane’s hair, and felt Kane press a soft kiss into his neck. “There must have been times afterwards when you regretted it.”
“Don’t,” Kane said fiercely, propping up on his elbow to look at him. “Don’t ever, Bellamy, not even as a joke.”
“So many things would be different,” Bellamy muttered in a hollow voice, tinged with bitterness. “So many people would still be alive.”
“I wouldn’t be whole without you,” Kane told him, cupping the boy’s jaw in his hands and kissing him over and over again. “We’ve all made mistakes, Bellamy, we’ve all done terrible things. But the world is better with you in it.” Bellamy’s lips parted beneath his almost involuntarily, deepening the kiss, the stiff tension softening out of his body as Kane’s tongue swept hungrily into his mouth.
The kiss went on for a long, long time before Kane pulled away to look down at Bellamy.
“I’m so sorry I snapped at you before,” Kane said again. “It was unforgivable.”
“You’re forgiven,” said Bellamy instantly, kissing him before he could argue. “Just . . . maybe let’s not bring up my sister again when we’re in the middle of – “
“No, good point.”
“Kinda ruins the mood.”
“I do see that, yes.”
“Bet we can get it back though,” said Bellamy with a sly grin in his voice, and Kane’s slow spreading smile of relief was like the sun bursting through clouds. He brushed aside the loose curl that was forever flopping over Bellamy’s forehead, with infinite fondness.
“We don’t have to tell anybody before you’re ready,” he murmured. “That wasn’t what I meant. It wasn’t a reproach. I just meant . . . we have tonight.”
“Yeah,” said Bellamy. “We do.” He shifted his weight on the pillows a little, spreading his knees apart wider and looking meaningfully at Kane.
“Bellamy . . .”
“I don’t care who hears,” he murmured, sliding his hands up to the older man’s shoulders. “Honest to God, Kane. I don’t. We can lie if we have to. Say Abby left her door unlocked by mistake when she left. Let everyone think some random kids broke in here to fuck in the Chancellor’s bed.”
“Oh, that’s good,” said Kane, brightening considerably. “I like that.”
“So if anyone hears us, we’re covered.”
“Excellent,” said Kane, gently raking his fingernails down Bellamy’s spread thighs. “Now. Where were we?”
“Well,” said Bellamy, obediently planting his feet and lifting his ass off the mattress so Kane could once more reposition the pillow beneath it for better access, “I’m pretty sure I was here.”
“That looks good to me,” Kane murmured. “Whereas I, I think,” he added in a low, warm voice pulsing with excitement, as he gripped the heavy cock still dripping with wetness and positioned it carefully at Bellamy’s entrance, “was right about . . . here.”
This time when he pushed inside Bellamy was ready, hungry, eager, his ass stretched deliciously open by the first round and aching for more. This time his sharp, stunned cry was pure pleasure, and as he’d promised, he didn’t hold back. He saved Kane’s name for whispering in a low, pleading murmur in the older man’s ear, but he let his desperate, almost whining, moans fall freely out of his lips as Kane pressed in deeper and deeper. “Come here,” he whimpered, holding out his arms, and Kane shifted forward, bracing one hand for balance beneath Bellamy’s thigh, to lean down and reach Bellamy’s lips with his own. The music flowed through their muscles and bones and guided their movements into a desperate, steady rhythm of thrusting and gasping and sharp wild moans, their hard sweaty bodies curled together as though they were one.
Bellamy wrapped his thighs tighter and tighter around Kane’s hips and his arms around the man’s back, as Kane slid his hands beneath the boy’s ass to lift him up and glide in deeper. “More," he whispered. "All the way. Please."
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said, swallowing hard. Then he took a deep breath as Kane slowed down his frantic pace to push deeper, deeper, deeper, until Bellamy – with a choked, desperate gasp of pleasure – had taken the entire massive bulk of him inside.
“Oh Jesus,” Kane whimpered brokenly into Bellamy’s throat. “Oh, Bellamy. I can’t . . . you feel . . . “
“Fuck,” Bellamy groaned. “Oh, fuck.”
"Bellamy . . ."
"Hold still, just for a minute," Bellamy whispered, "let me . . . I just want to feel you."
So Kane held himself still, deep inside Bellamy, buried up to the hilt, heaving shaky breaths and feeling the heavy mounds at the base of his cock press against the boy's hot, damp skin.
Then, "Okay," Bellamy said softly, with the faint shadow of a plea in it, and his hips lifted ever so slightly off the mattress to take Kane in deeper.
“Can I,” Kane breathed, “can you – “
“Yeah. I want you to.”
“Oh God, love, I think I might faint,” he murmured, sweat beading on his brow as he gazed down at Bellamy, dark brown eyes dizzy and unfocused. With a trembling breath, he pulled out just a few inches before sliding back in to bottom out inside him again, and then something inside them both snapped. From then on it was hard, frantic, raw, hands clutching wildly at each other, flesh smacking loudly against flesh, hungry moans filling the air around them. They’d made love before, but this was fucking, pure and simple. There was no other word for it. Neither of them had ever imagined anything that could feel like this.
It didn't take long before they both felt the beginnings of an earth-shattering climax racing towards them from a distance. “Are you . . . oh God . . . are you close?” Bellamy asked between gasps, then lost his breath as Kane’s cock nudged at the deep hidden spot again, causing him to cry out.
“I’m so close,” Kane whispered. “Oh God, love, I’m so close.” Bellamy tried to speak, couldn’t, and simply nodded his agreement instead. Kane traced the boy’s lower lip with his thumb, gently prodding his mouth open, then bent his head to swallow him up in a wet, messy kiss as he slipped a hand down between their bodies to seize Bellamy’s iron-hard cock in his fist. Bellamy gasped into his mouth at the sensation, gasping moans muffled by the kiss and transmuted into a desperately erotic pleading sound like a low hum. “Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm,” was all he could say, but it was enough, as Kane’s hand glided slickly up and down the shaft of Bellamy’s cock while his own pumped harder and harder and harder.
Bellamy felt a shuddering, pulsing tidal wave of orgasm – like nothing he’d ever felt before in his life – begin to rise and rise up inside him. He could feel it everywhere, pressure building in the base of his spine and down his thighs and inside his pounding chest where hungry lips and beard were brushing rough little kisses against his skin. His hands slid up Kane’s back and over his shoulders to clutch at his hair, tugging the man’s head up to meet his eyes. Then, “Marcus,” he whispered, speaking the man’s name for the very first time, and as Kane’s eyes widened in astonishment Bellamy cried out wildly as the climax hit him and he toppled over the edge.
“Bellamy,” Kane whispered desperately, “oh God, Bellamy, I’m . . . I’m . . .”
And then he too shuddered with a violent, explosive groan and collapsed heavily against Bellamy’s chest as the boy felt warm liquid heat pour out inside of him. “Bellamy,” he whispered over and over, hips stuttering and trembling as he filled Bellamy over and over, sticky wetness pooling between their sweat-sheened bodies.
They lay there for a long, long time, bodies melting into stillness, breath slowing down from frantic gasps into spent exhaustion. Kane nosed lightly at his chest, pressing a lazy little kiss against his breastbone as Bellamy’s arms wrapped tightly around his back, shifting his weight to roll them onto their sides.
“Jesus,” Bellamy sighed weakly as they settled back against the mattress, tangled up close enough together to share the one lone pillow. “I had no idea I’d like that so much.”
“I had no idea you would, either,” Kane agreed. Bellamy grinned at him, giving him the faintest of playful shoves, and Kane laughed, kissing him lightly. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time,” he added, running a hand through Bellamy’s sweat-dampened curls.
“Just so you know,” Bellamy told him dryly, “I’m going to want to do it again.”
“Well, all right, but I’m going to need a minute.”
“I didn’t mean right now.”
“Okay, good.”
“I can hardly move right now.”
“Good, because you don’t have to,” Kane murmured, kissing the top of his head. “You’re going to stay right here.”
“What if . . .” Bellamy began, then stopped short.
“What if what, love?”
“What if, when Abby comes back . . . what if we talked about . . . maybe . . .” He broke off again, almost shyly, ducking his head to rest his cheek against Kane’s shoulder. “Maybe we could think about talking to Octavia and Clarke,” he murmured, so quietly Kane almost didn’t hear him.
“Bellamy,” Kane murmured gently. “Look at me.” He tilted the boy’s chin up to meet his eyes. “If this is about what I said before – “
Bellamy shook his head. “It’s not about that. You were right, but it’s not . . . it’s nothing to do with what you said. It’s just . . . time.”
“Bellamy – “
“I love you,” he said recklessly. “I love you both. I love you, and I’m not ashamed of it, and I don’t care who knows.” He kissed Kane’s mouth, hard and firm. “I liked the way it felt, being outside with you,” he whispered. “It was like . . . it was like it was real. Like we were real.”
“We are real,” Kane murmured, rolling over onto his back and pulling Bellamy down beside him to cradle him close against his chest.
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” Bellamy murmured, closing his eyes. “The next time you ask me to dance, I don’t want us to have to hide it.”
“All right, love,” Kane agreed, voice warm and low, pulsing some heavy emotion. “Next time, we won’t.”