Chapter Text
The loud conversations and merry atmosphere surrounded Bilbo, as he and Gandalf made their way back to camp. The first one’s gaze drifted arbitrarily at the side. Eyes locked with the intensive blue irises. Well, his presence still wasn't welcome at all. At least from the Prince Dramatic, there.
‘Woah, just if I was staring at Lobelia’ the thought crossed his mind, when he parted eyes from the dwarf. Bilbo shuddered, he met a male version of his most annoying relative. Is this a nightmare, after all?
As he pondered, he finally had time to take a better look at (god what is he even doing?) his future companion. Probably the last people that will see him, as well. Adventures like that never ends well! Seeing as he is the one without any experience, he will be the first to go down…
Bilbo’s eyes slowly looked over at the other campers. Most of them were probably dwarfs too, seeing as braids and beards were the main theme. Thankfully, his staring wasn't mostly acknowledged. Maybe few of them send him a cautious look.
The dwarf with the weird hat was brave enough to answer with a friendly smile. That made Bilbo stop in his tracks. Polite would be to answer the same way, Baggins advised in his mind. Right- Bilbo gave the dwarf a small smile on his own, actually wanting to start a conversation (after all he was the only person from three that didn't look at him like he was some kind of animal in a zoo!). His plan was quickly brushed away thanks to two loud princes.
“Mister Boggins!“ Kili waved eagerly, trying to get his attention. It was hard not to give him one.
Is this his life now? He didn't stop the sight escaping his mouth. Friendly dwarf chuckled amused. Really helpful.
Before Bilbo reacted, he was dragged off by the younger brother. He could only shoot a “help me” look at Gandalf.
The man had the nerve to laugh at his doom!
“I didn't know you were our burglar! Now it makes so much sense!” Kili continued to rattle on “You are our burglar wizard! That's so genius!”
“Is it…?” Bilbo murmured, peeking at the other.
Kili nodded, smiling as proudly as if it was his idea “Yes! With two wizards we’ll win without sweat!”
“Two?” he asked again, furrowing his brows. Is there a magic dwarf? “Who is the wizard?”
This time not Kili answered his question nor his brother. The star haired dwarf from earlier was still around those three, sitting at the ground “I’ll take a wild guess and say, Tharkûn.”
Thakun? No, Tharkûn. Wasn't Gandalf called that? Is it some kind of code name- Gandalf is a wizard. The realization hit Bilbo like a brick, leaving him blinking for a moment. That would somehow explain the wardrobe and the whole… existence of this world? (Even if Bilbo is still considering his coma and drug dream option.) Gandalf always kept his life a secret. He never told much, leaving everyone glancing with curiosity after him.
Mafia boss theory was more believable than any of this.
“You do seem to know him” the dwarf continued, arching eyebrow “Or don't you?”
His eyes keep watching him, without any blink. Bilbo felt like he was being read like an open book. Quite ironic comparison. However, he didn't know how long they just stare at each other, until glancing at the side he noticed Kili and Fili being back at their rolled beds.
Then, finally some reaction happened. The eyes blinked, breaking eye contact. A lazy smile spread across his face, when he gave Bilbo a nod “My name is Nori, at your service.”
Good to have a name to appear, even if done in a weird staring way.
“Bilbo Baggins- At yours too?” he really hoped it was a proper way to answer. Is it a polite way of introducing each other? A cultural greet? It wasn't a right time to learn anything, but Bilbo couldn't not wonder!
“So, Master Bilbo” Nori’s voice brought his attention back “what a small guy like you, doing someone like us?”
And Bilbo? Bilbo didn't have any answer for that. He ignores the comment about his height, carefully sitting next to Nori. The letter chuckles seeing how Bilbo firstly inspected the ground for any mud. If this fellow is going against the dragon, he won't survive even a second. He didn't look anything close to warrior and a wizard (not like Nori saw many wizards. But the guy doesn't look like the grey one!). If Mister Baggins won't pull out more of his magic items, Nori doesn't predict his life to last long.
“Honestly, Mister Nori? I have no idea” Bilbo finally sat down, looking back at the dwarf next to him “I don't know why- I’m still considering if I’m not unconscious!” The nervous chuckle escaped his mouth.
“...Right” Nori shifted next to him, giving the human a weird look. Not only a soft guy, but a weirdo one as well “So what? You only heard about the quest and agreed without any question?” Stupid move if anyone would ask him.
This… This was quite accurate.
“You may put it like that.” it caused a snort from the dwarf. Good to know someone that is amused with his life.
“Mahal, you really have no idea!” Nori’s shoulders shook with laughter. The unamused stare from Bilbo was like adding oil to fire. He could feel some glances from the nearest company. Particularly from Dori, of course. The brother of his being concerned about everything. He isn't sure if he was supposed to be offended. Just look at Bilbo! Nori could bring up his hand and keep him in distance by that! Wizard or no.
“Well enough” when he controlled his breathing, a small dagger found its way to Nori’s hand. Bilbo could watch with (not at all) subtle amazement, how the dagger moved around the dwarf's fingers “Then I need to play the role of babysitter for now”
With the sight, Nori’s knife stopped with a blade pointing at Bilbo. Yes, too close.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t be such a pouter” Nori’s knife moved from Bilbo’s face “I’m doing it for my entertainment, Master Baggins” and for his brother’s nerves. Ah, it will be so fun to watch!
“Anyway!” Before Bilbo could say anything, Nori pointed his dagger at one side of the camp “Time for a small introduction, shall we?”
That's how Bilbo learned names that he surely won't remember! It started with Dwalin. The dwarf was sitting alone, sharpening his axe.
“That’s Dwalin, his haughtiness’s guardsman” Nori explained in few words “Not recommending trying to be friends and rainbows with him. He will most likely dump you behind bars” the reluctance towards guard was voiced pretty clearly in his voice.
“See the red hair? That's Glóin. Remember not to mention anything associating with kids. He will talk you dead about his son” he advised, pointing at the next small group of dwarfs. Glóin was currently looking through his stuff, while talking to ones sitting around him.
“So what I need to not mention?”
“...Anything. I'm starting to think his son looks like everything” Nori hummed, titling his head. The point was, Glóin mentioned his son at every possible moment “Anyway~ Next to him is his brother, Óin.”
“And what I can't mention to him?” Bilbo arching an eyebrow in mock.
“Doesn't matter. There's no chance Óin will even hear you” at the same moment, a loud ‘what were you saying?’ echoed across the field. The old dwarf fidgeted with the trumpet-like looking item near his ear. He didn't get (or hear) the words nonetheless, judging from his confused look. Not like Bilbo could understand anything that was said by- IS THAT AN AXE IN HIS HEAD?!
Nori noticed the wide eyed human, chuckling at his reaction.
“How is he even alive?” Bilbo whispered in astonishment.
“Bifur is fine and well. Just a bit” Nori circled finger next to his head with a short whistle “That's an orc axe. They can't remove it without proper tools, without him dropping dead.”
Beliwered, Bilbo gasped, staring wide-eyed in Bifur’s way. That was horrible! The dwarf surely felt the pain from the wound. There was a possibility, he didn't feel anything. It was still tragic, nonetheless! Living with that bad wound, knowing that he is basically almost at the death steps. Bilbo felt really bad for Bifur.
“Don’t stare like a kicked puppy” Nori groaned, stopping the dagger he motioned for some time “Bifur is fine! His cousins wouldn't let him smell flowers from under too early. That being said” he gestures at the dwarf with hat and the one with orange hair. Where Bilbo would use kinder words, the dwarf was a bit bigger than the rest, Nori would just be rude and straightforward.
At least he learned how the friendly looking dwarf was named. Bofur, who was Bifur’s cousin as well as Bombur’s brother. That brought another question.
“Do all your names rhyme?” he cut in before Nori could continue. Is this a dwarfs thing? Surely they would run out of rhymes after some time.
“It's easier to remember.” No it wasn't easier at all. Bilbo already struggled with matching names to the person and it still wasn't the whole company. He never has such a problem with remembering names. After a moment he added “The way of it depends on each family.”
Writer nodded, pondering about Nori’s words. He would lie if he said it wasn't interesting. “What about you?”
“Well, I have… uh, brothers. Yes” he answered reluctantly, glancing at the other side. Bilbo followed his eyes, noticing two other dwarfs. One, visibly smaller from the other , was scribbling in a small book. The other, which was correcting the younger braids, had lighter hair with decorative braids.
“Those are your brothers?”
“That's right, my youngest is Ori,” he nodded, after a moment adding with a much harder tone “And Dori is the oldest.”
Bilbo didn't stop raising a brow at the dwarf’s tone. There was something behind that, but it was surely too early to ask about such personal problems.
Before he could ask any more questions, Kili’s head popped between them, successfully startling Bilbo. That rogue!
“Uncle calls over everyone” he informed, as quickly disappearing as he appeared earlier. Kili joined his brother's side, nearer their uncle.
Bilbo wouldn't include himself in “everyone”, but Nori stood up going towards the forming circle of dwarfs. He didn't want to stay alone, when something could be behind his back! So he swiftly followed Nori. Of course, the dwarf wasn't going to join everyone else on the ground. Instead he leaned against a tree, behind his brother's backs (which he gained an irritated glare from Dori). The dwarf only glanced at Bilbo, when he stopped right next to him. Nori beat down a sigh, seeing his new shadow. Guess he needs to pay for being once helpful. Mahal…
“What news from the meeting in Ered Luin?” the white haired dwarf asked, glancing at the (apparently) leader of the company.
“That's Balin” Nori continued the introduction, whispering to Bilbo “Guardsman’s brother and Thorin's advisor” he added, as another chimed in.
“Is Dain with us?”
Bilbo has no idea what those names meant, but he could feel it was something important. Why couldn't Gandalf give him world instructions? Or even a guide? It would be much easier to understand anything.
“They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone” the Prince Dramatic speaked out, bringing all attention to himself. Before Bilbo could ask about him, Nori whispered again.
“His haughtiness, Thorin Oakenshield” Nori made a pause, waiting for some kind of reaction. He got nothing. Bilbo blinked, not batting any comment on that. So, ‘Prince Dramatic’ was more accurate than he thought.
“...Am I supposed to know him?” guessing from Nori’s raised eyebrows, yes. He was supposed to know him.
“Where, for the Mahal, did the wizard take you from…?”
“From London, of course” he stated, almost proudly. The same situation, Nori didn't react in any way. Well, maybe at least raising his eyebrows even more.
“From where?”
The loud shush quietened them both. Dori gave his younger brother a glare, but didn't linger his eyes on them for too long.
After being so embarrassingly hushed, Bilbo actually paid some attention to the discussion. He didn't understand much, what was expected. The names like Lonely Mountain didn't mean much, beside it being a mountain. He will just need to ask Gandalf about it… But not the mountains get most of his attention.
“A… beast?” he asked tensely, suddenly finding himself in the attention of most dwarfs.
“Well that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age” Bofur answered, smiling friendly “Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals…”
“A dragon?” Bilbo's eyes widened at the image that appeared in his head. A real breathing dragon?! Gandalf hasn't mentioned it! Meeting something that was a peak of fiction would be probably more exciting, if not for the fact that dragons are usually deadly!
His thoughts were smoothly dragged off, when dwarfs cheered for their young companion. Bilbo only caught something about dragons and iron… huh.
The cheers quickly turned into offended exclamations at Balin’s comment “The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest.”
Well, Bilbo couldn't say much. He didn't have any experience either, but judging from many fantasy stories he read… They are definitely included in the “company of heroes” term.
“You forget we have a wizard in our company!”
Suddenly everyone's eyes, including Bilbo's, were on Gandalf.
“He surely killed many dragons in his time!”
The wizard tensed at the attention, muttering a few awkward words. Bilbo couldn't stop the chuckle. Gandalf didn't look like anyone who would kill a dragon.
The dwarfs started to talk above each other again, trying to get Gandalf to speak. How many did he kill? Which dragons? The questions shot from every side.
“HARKULUL!” Thorin's voice cut through the chaos like a knife, silencing everyone. He didn't wait any longer, before continuing “If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected! Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?”
That was some kind of speech, Bilbo needed to nod for that. It seemed to work, as the company focused again. Even Nori, when Bilbo glanced at his side, the dwarf was staring towards their leader. He didn't whisper any more comments.
The next few arguments weren't much helpful to Bilbo. He only understands they have a key to something like a back door to the mountain? He really needs to ask Gandalf about some guide…
“—The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth... ...and no small amount of courage” Gandalf’s eyes flickered for a moment towards his friend “But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.”
“That's why we need a burglar!” the dwarf- Óin? Óin nodded, waving with his trumpet.
“And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine” Bilbo added, wanting to actually get involved in the conversation. He always felt awkward when he was left alone.
“And are you?”
.
.
.
“Excuse me?” Excuse me?
Óin probably didn't hear him correctly, as his eyebrows furrowed to a moment later brighten.
“He said he is an expert!”
“What? No, no, no!” Bilbo panicked, waving frankly with his hands “I’ve never stolen anything in my life!”
“He doesn't look much like any thief to me” Nori muttered, helping him out. Bless for his good heart! Bilbo nodded, agreeing with him with all of his heart.
“What nonsense!”
One day, Bilbo will really consider strangling the man.
“I can assure Bilbo has much to offer than he seems to! I have known the boy for many years and I can fully quarantine that!” Gandalf announced without any doubt in his voice. Bilbo, on the other hand, has many doubts “Beside the obvious facts, the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, while the scent of… Our friend is all but unknown to him.”
“You asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins."
Gandalf's voice didn't waver in any moment. He was really sure about the decision. Much more sure than Bilbo. He looked towards Thorin, daring him to continue to argue. The dwarf held his gaze for a moment, but finally sighed.
“Give him the contract…”
That was all, before Bilbo was given a really, REALLY long contract. Pity he didn't take his reading glasses. Why did he even take the contract? He doesn't have to join anything! He can go back and pretend this never happened…
Only to imagine in his quiet small flat what adventures Gandalf went through. The Tookish side of his heart, almost blazed in excitement.
Narrowing his eyes, he slowly read through the text.
“It's just a small summary” Nori commented, startling Bilbo from his focus. He was leaning above his arm, reading the contract as well “You really going to read through it all?”
“Of course! I’m never signing anything in darkness” especially a contract for a fantasy quest. Bilbo read many fantasy novels and knew how things usually worked.
…
Conditions for a possible burial? Oh goodness.
“Incineration?” Bilbo looked towards the group, which didn't even try to pretend to not stare at him. Him reading it was probably the best joke.
“Aye! He’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye” Bofur chimed in, smiling and nodding, definitely too enthusiastic for something like that.
“Thank you, Mister Bofur. I know what dragons do” Bilbo looked at him pointedly.
Still, he would see a real dragon. A real DEADLY dragon. He doubted it's as friendly as some books or movies sometimes tell. Bilbo jumped, when someone’s hand touched his shoulder.
“You alright, laddie?” The white haired dwarf smiled kindly to him- Balin.
“Yeah just- Dragons and all that”
Bilbo couldn't stop the nervous laugh, staring back at the paper “Um- Does anyone have anything to write which?”
“...Huh”
Bilbo stared dumbly at the feather in his hand and a small jar of, probably, ink. He tried to ignore the amused snickering, when he tried to not smear the entire sheet with ink. God, this adventure will be embarrassing.
But still, Bilbo felt like this was the moment that will change his life. Or end it.