Chapter Text
The Avengers (15):
Namsung Superior🏆: Ok, is everyone available to talk right now????
Namsung Superior🏆: Because I have something very important to discuss and I’d like to discuss it with everyone.
Joonie🧠: Me and the rest of the group are all currently in the same room together but we can talk.
Channie🦘: You know all of our schedules already so you know we’re free
Channie🦘: What’s going on Jisung??
Sunshine🐶: I’m warning all of you, especially the BTS hyungnims that this is about to be a very stupid conversation so be ready
Yoonie😼: ????
Kookie💪🏻: I’m intrigued
Namsung Superior🏆: Shut up Seungmin, this /is/ really important, ok?!
SexySilk💞: We’ve had some dumb convos before but this one might truly take the cake
Hips Don't Lie😈: Alright, enough edging, get to the point already
Namsung Superior🏆: The 00’s and Jeonginnie have been talking and I wanted to ask the rest of you a very important question
Namsung Superior🏆: BTS hyungs, what would you do in a zombie apocalypse??
Joonie🧠: What would we do in terms of what exactly??
Namsung Superior🏆: In terms of survival. Like how would you guys try to survive a zombie apocalypse??
Sunshine🐶: See? I told you guys it was gonna be stupid.
Hobi🕺: TBH I’ve never really thought about it????
Yoonie😼: Yeah me either.
Minnie🍑: If I’m being honest, I’m gonna do whatever Namjoon hyung does or tells me to do
Minnie🍑: He’s the only one of the hyungs I trust to be able to handle that kind of stress
Jinnie🫦: same
TaeTae🐻: same
Yoonie😼: same
Hobi🕺: yeah probably same for me as well
TaeTae🐻: I think we all just look to Namjoon hyung to make the important decisions for us
Jinnie🫦: Also he would definitely know what to do in that kind of situation
Yoonie😼: At least he’d know better than the rest of us
Joonie🧠: Yeah that’s valid. I could at least try to figure something out for all of us in a crisis, so there’s that.
Kookie💪🏻: Um,,,, excuse me. No one wants to know what I have to say??
Joonie🧠: Oh God I’m actually terrified
Jinnie🫦: same
Yoonie😼: same
Hobi🕺: same
Minnie🍑: same
TaeTae🐻: I wanna hear him out but also
TaeTae🐻: same
Namsung Superior🏆: What would you do Jeongguk hyung??
Kookie💪🏻: Obviously, I would find one of the billionaires' underground bunkers (because, let’s be real, they all have one), kill them, bring all of you guys in, and then we can all chill there until all the zombies die or until we all do from old age in the comfort of a billionaire's bunker 😄😄
Jinnie🫦: …
Yoonie😼: …
Hobi🕺: …
Minnie🍑: …
TaeTae🐻: …
Channie🦘: …
Hips Don't Lie😈: …
Binnie🥟: …
SexySilk💞: …
Namsung Superior🏆: …
ReneGAYed👯: …
Sunshine🐶: …
Ultimate Thottie🤤: …
Joonie🧠: …
Joonie🧠: I was right to be terrified
Binnie🥟: That was certainly,,,, detailed hyung
ReneGAYed👯: Is no one else excited that he said he’d bring /all of us/??!!
Ultimate Thottie🤤: Imagine all the orgies we could have
Sunshine🐶: Exactly because literally what else would there be to do??
SexySilk💞: If the world is going to hell because of zombies, I’m dying with 14 boyfriends, IDC
Jinnie🫦: Same. If I’m going down, I’m going down with 14 hot men by my side
Joonie🧠: Is no one concerned that he said he was gonna kill a billionaire or??
Hips Don't Lie😈: Not particularly hyung
TaeTae🐻: Billionaires are hoarding money while people starve.
TaeTae🐻: Fuck them and everything they stand for.
Namsung Superior🏆: I say we steal El*n M*sks bunker. He’s set to be the first person in the world to make a trillion dollars (AKA an absolutely insane amount of money that no one person should ever have), and killing him wouldn’t even really hurt anyone's feelings tbh
Binnie🥟: Did you really just censor his name??
Namsung Superior🏆: Hell yes I did. I hate that man so much I wouldn’t dare type his name out on my phone
Yoonie😼: I agree and also, how long have you been thinking about this Kookie??
Hobi🕺: Yeah, that was a pretty well thought out plan.
Kookie💪🏻: TBH I’ve been thinking about it since hearing some youtuber talk about the fact that billionaires are building underground bunkers that regular people aren’t allowed to go see.
Kookie💪🏻: I can only assume they’re for all the elite to escape to in case of an emergency and a zombie apocalypse definitely counts as an emergency
Namsung Superior🏆: Honestly, I love that idea. It’s better than mine
Channie🦘: I’m afraid to ask but what is your plan in this hypothetical Jisung
Han: My plan is to take myself out before the zombies get me
ReneGAYed👯: He’s been talking about unaliving himself for the past 30 minutes
SexySilk💞: We asked why he would leave us and he creepily said “I’m taking all of you with me” with the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen
Sunshine🐶: I asked what that meant and he just said “Don’t worry, it’ll be peaceful” and his creepy smile got even /wider/ and /creepier/
Ultimate Thottie🤤: TBH I’d actually welcome that. You want me to survive in a world with no running water, no internet, and no indoor heating/cooling. Yeah I’m gone as soon as the internet goes down for more than 24 hours.
Ultimate Thottie🤤: I love you guys a lot but I’m a man of the internet and they’d have to take it from my cold, dead fingers
Binnie🥟: But Jeongguk hyung, how would we even get to El*n M*sks bunker?? Isn’t it in America??
Kookie💪🏻: One of them is for sure but he’s a paranoid 'wanna be liked by everyone' type so he definitely has some in other places to keep him hidden if need be we'd just have to find it and, tbh I know a guy who knows a guy and that's all I'm gonna say for anonymities sake.
Yoonie😼: I’m actually lowkey scared of how much knowledge you have on this Kookie
Jinnie🫦: I’m more proud than anything tbh. He has a plan to save my beautiful body from getting zombified and I get to have orgies with 14 hot men until I croak so I'm all for it.
ReneGAYed👯: And we get to take out a Mediocre White Man™️ with too much money and influence
ReneGAYed👯: A win is a win 🥰🥰
Hips Don't Lie😈: I truly don’t care either way.
Hips Don't Lie😈: I saw ‘14 boyfriends’ and ‘orgies’ and that was enough for me to be on board
Channie🦘: Why do I even try to pretend that you guys are normal when you make it so difficult for me??
ReneGAYed👯: Because you love us, no matter how weird we are 🥰🥰🥰🥰
SexySilk💞: And because you think we’re hot enough for our weirdness to not scare you off
Channie🦘:...
Channie🦘: Touché