Chapter Text
And as I look around your eyes outshine the town, they do
This Christmas - Donny Hathaway
First on Suho’s agenda for the day is sledding. There hasn’t been a lot of snow in past couple years in Seoul, not enough to pack down like this, and he’s not sure he would’ve been cleared for sledding until now anyway. But here, with the heavy snow drifting down and months after getting the go ahead for more rigorous athletic activities, it’s perfect.
As it turns out, there’s a spot not too far from the dorms, Sieun tells him, just behind a high school, with a small stand to rent inner tubes. Suho doesn’t have snow pants or the right kind of boots with him, but he doesn’t care. They snack on some breakfast bars, layer up as best they can, and then take the bus over, eager to beat the crowd.
It’s just after 10 AM when they arrive, and there are already a few families lined up on the hill, waiting their turn. The snow’s not coming down too heavily now, but there’s a thick layer of it over the ground. They tromp through it as the get their sleds and queue up on the side, watching the other kids flying down on toboggans and saucers.
A few minutes later, they make it to the top, bracing near the spot where the drop starts. “Race you,” Suho says, mischief in his tone.
Sieun raises a brow, but he waits until they’re both ready, kicking off at Suho’s count of one, two, three! The hill isn’t that tall, so it’s a quick ride down, but they do get a bit of speed. It’s fun, it makes Suho feel a little like a kid again. He hasn’t felt that way in a long time.
They stay for a while, trading off wins as they race down. Suho even goes on his stomach once, headfirst, but his feet drag in the snow behind him and slow him down, so he goes back to sitting after that, instead trying different poses for their aerodynamics. He still loses to Sieun more than he wins.
The longer they stay out the more the cold seeps through their layers, but Sieun keeps letting out these little giggles whenever he beats Suho to the bottom, both of them having too much fun to call it.
“Let’s double up!” Suho says before their next turn.
“What?”
“You ride in the front, I’ll go in back, we’ll go faster!”
“We’ll fall out,” Sieun argues.
“No way,” Suho pulls Sieun forward by the elbow. “I won’t let you fall, I promise.”
Sieun gives him a disbelieving look, but he sits in the tube how Suho directs when they get to the top. There’s just enough space for Suho to perch on the back of it and wrap his legs around Sieun’s waist. It’s… more intimate than he was expecting. They’re flush together, with Suho’s arms on Sieun’s chest and his mouth right by his ear.
“You ready?” he asks, and Sieun shivers.
Rather than answering, Sieun uses the heel of his boots to scoot them forward, tilting them over the edge, then taking a breath in and pushing them off, toward the bottom.
Suho hangs on for a valiant 37 seconds before the speed they pick up turns out to be too much and he’s flung from the back of the sled.
“Suho!” he hears as he rolls in the snow, his jeans scrunching up around the ankles and filling with it. It hurts a little, but he can’t stop laughing. His head whirls around and catches a peek of Sieun, still hurtling toward the bottom of the hill, obviously trying to find where he landed, and that makes him laugh harder.
Eventually, he makes his way to the side, getting out of the way of the other people sledding. He shakes a bit of the snow out of the legs of his pants and carefully walks down the rest of the way to meet Sieun.
“Are you okay?” Sieun asks immediately, eyes wide as he looks him over.
“I’m fine,” Suho replies around a laugh. “I’m great.”
“I told you we wouldn’t fit.”
“You went faster though,” he reasons and Sieun throws him a look.
He’s still fussing over Suho a little, looking him over like he’s searching for bruises. He quirks his head a little after a moment and reaches up, hand brushing over the top of Suho’s head, his fingers dust along his hairline, near his temple. Snow melts under his hands and trickles down to Suho’s neck. He shivers, accidentally shaking Sieun’s hands off, and has to make an effort not to pout when the touch is gone.
“Are you cold?” Sieun asks.
He is, though he’s not sure that’s exactly why his entire body is trembling. “Yeah,” he nods. “I’m fucking freezing.”
After they walk their inner tubes back to the rental stand, Sieun navigates them to a nearby shopping street, where the storefronts along the sidewalk are attached in one big block, all a little old looking and decorated with string lights and garland. With flurries still coming down, it looks like they’ve walked into an old painting. In the middle of the block is a cafe with wooden “open” sign in the window. He leads them inside and a blast of heat from a furnace washes over the two of them.
It’s emptier than Suho was expecting, only a couple of kids with their parents who look like they were out playing in the snow too, and an older couple, a little younger than Halmeoni maybe, sharing a newspaper and drinking coffees.
Sieun orders for them at the register — two hot chocolates — and listens to the barista’s idle chatter. It’s fun watching him like this, not so much in his element, really, but taking the lead, letting Suho rely on him, even if he does it too much.
Over by the bay window, there’s a small table with a booth open. The two of them head straight for it after they get their drinks. Through the glass, they can see passersby huddled in their puffer jackets, heads down, as they walk through the snow.
Suho’s always loved people-watching. Halmeoni would say that watching is how you learn best. That 95% of knowing a person can be learned without uttering a single word. He’s spent so much time looking at Sieun he’s sort of shocked there’s still more to surprise him.
I don’t like girls.
It makes sense now, in hindsight, with the full picture in frame. He had just figured Sieun wasn’t really interested in dating, too diligent about his studies to waste time on anything else, but that wasn’t true.
Sieun’s interested in dating boys.
The idea of it flashes through his mind before he can stop it. Sieun on a date with a guy, being kissed by him, kissing him back.
“Do you like it?”
“What?” Suho mentally shakes the thought away, brings himself back to the cafe.
“Your drink,” Sieun says, nodding toward it with his head.
“Oh, I haven’t tried it yet.”
Sieun looks at him expectantly and he dutifully takes a sip. It’s still really hot, probably too hot to drink, but chocolate floods his tongue, rich and sweet. It’s really fucking good.
“It’s good,” Sieun’s shoulders relax a little. “It’s so good, Sieun-ah, try it!” he says, holding his mug under Sieun’s face.
“I have my own.”
“Yeah, but you can’t guarantee it’s as good as mine,” Suho reasons. “Try it.”
Sieun yields, accepting the mug from Suho’s hand and blowing on it a little, making a small opening in between the lip of the cup and the whipped cream, and takes a drink.
Suho tries not to stare, but he’s fixed on the way Sieun’s throat works as he swallows, how his eyes are smiling a little when sets the mug back down in front of Suho, on the little crest of whipped cream that sits on his mouth. He reaches forward without thinking, swiping it off of Sieun’s lips and popping his thumb into his mouth.
Sieun’s eyes blow wide, and his tongue darts out to lick his lips. It’s probably a reflex, trying to get any that Suho missed, but Suho mourns the possibility of feeling his tongue, had he just kept his thumb there a little longer.
Around 1 PM they both need more than their breakfast and a hot chocolate in their stomachs, so they make the trip back to the campus cafeteria. Despite most of the students being gone, there’s still an array of different foods available, though most of it is a little too salty. Suho wonders if Sieun’s used to it or if he misses the food back home, wonders whether he wishes he was back visiting Korea instead. Maybe not because he misses his family, but to see their friends, and for a home-cooked meal. He privately makes up his mind to invite Sieun to stay with him and Halmeoni next year.
After lunch they wash and change out of their wet clothes. Suho gives into the temptation to nap a bit while Sieun’s in the communal showers, and when he wakes the sun’s already set.
The room would be dark if not for the soft light from Sieun’s desk lamp, where he’s sitting reviewing something from a textbook. He’s dressed in comfort clothes, a hoodie and jeans, but there’s a little spot where his neck barely peeks through that Suho’s eyes zero in on. His skin there looks soft, warm, probably, from the shower. He thinks about pressing his nose into that spot and finding out what Sieun’s soap smells like, suddenly wants to know how it tastes. The thought shakes the last drowsiness from him.
“Aren’t all your classes finished?”
Sieun startles. “I have another lab next semester,” he says when he recovers.
Suho grumbles and stretches a bit on the bed. “Why’d you let me sleep so late?”
“It’s only 5.”
“Still.” He rolls onto his stomach, head resting on his arm and looks on as Sieun finishes copying a note down. “What should we do tonight?”
Sieun hesitates then, rolling his pencil between his fingers before carefully setting it down and turning his upper body to look at him. Suho’s seen this before, knows that this means he has Something to Say. He lifts up a bit.
“Can I take you somewhere?” Sieun asks.
Suho’s heart kicks.
“Yeah,” he says. “Of course. Where?”
Sieun’s quiet.
“Is it a surprise?” Suho asks, joking.
“Yes.”
“Oh!” That’s… Sieun doesn’t plan surprises. Not really. Curiosity rises in him fast. “Are we going now?”
Sieun nods. “If you’re ready.”
“Yeah, I’m ready, I can be ready.” He sits up and stretches his arms, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and hopping down. “Do I need to change?”
He’s just in a navy sweater and some casual, gray pants. He has no idea if they’re going somewhere fancy. Sieun eyes him, tracing him up and down.
“No, it’s fine. We’ll be outside anyway.”
“Oh? A hint.”
Sieun rolls his eyes and moves to put on his outerwear. Their hats and scarves are strewn atop the heater to help them dry after this morning, and they feel warm and soft when Suho puts them back on. When he’s ready, he turns to Sieun, who’s got his scarf wrapped in a double loop, and is currently fitting his mittens onto his hands. He looks like a storybook character, bundled up like that.
“What?” he asks when he catches Suho staring.
You’re cute.
“Nothing,” Suho waves him off. “Let’s go.”
Sieun leads him outside and down the street, away from campus, through a neighborhood of houses. They take a moment to peer into a greenhouse they pass along the way, and Suho snaps a photo of a small snowman with a stick arm raised up like it’s waving.
When they round a corner one block later, a flood of multicolored lights appears. Up ahead there’s a stream of people, all heading in the same direction of them, toward the open park. Suho looks at Sieun; he can tell his own eyes are wide, he’s sort of wonderstruck.
Sieun smiles back, ducking his head. He’s shy. “Come on,” he says.
At the entrance, there’s an archway lit up with the words City Park Lights. Past it, Suho can see paths that wind all the way through, vibrant, animated lights depicting different winter scenes and Christmas stories.
There are people dressed as elves with maps near the front, and Suho pops a five-dollar bill into one of the donation bins they’re manning. He accepts two candy canes from the volunteer worker, who tells them which direction to walk through, then they’re on their way.
There’s a bunch of people entering at the same time as them, and Suho quickly looks behind him to catch sight of Sieun, holding his hand out for him to grab as they maneuver their way through the entrance. Their hands clasp for a moment, but Sieun’s gloves are slippery, and they slide through, so he loops his arm around Suho’s instead, holding onto him and tucking into his side as they walk. It sends a thrill down Suho’s spine, like having him this close is a taste of something he didn’t realize he was starving for.
He’s expecting Sieun to let go as they walk, but he holds tight, peering up once at Suho, like checking if it’s okay. Suho grins at him, nudging into him a little, reassuring.
Their first stop is at a red, wooden doghouse with a light-up Snoopy and Woodstock dancing atop it. A few speakers are planted in the ground along the walkway playing songs to match the scenes, this one plays O Tannenbaum.
Down the path a little further is a 12 Days of Christmas display, with decreasing numbers of dancers and animals glittering in bright colors. Then, down the lane, there’s a photo spot; a white bench with an archway, the lights on it make a candy cane pattern all the way up, then turn into something like holly at the top.
“Let’s get a picture,” Suho says, steering them over. “Can you…” he trails off as the woman standing nearby takes his phone in her hand.
“Of course!” she says. “Get close, you two,” she calls out as they sit.
Suho listens, cuddling up to Sieun and slinging an arm around him. She takes one like that, then Suho throws up a peace sign and she takes a few more.
“You’re under mistletoe, you know!” she says lightly.
Oh. Huh.
Suho looks up at the top of the arch, not holly after all, then. The moment seems to stretch. Sieun is looking at him, and he opens his mouth, taking a breath, about to speak. You don’t have to, maybe, or it’s fine, Suho.
Suho leans in fast, before he can, and kisses Sieun on the cheek by the corner of his mouth, gentle, lingering. He’s so close he can feel Sieun’s eyelashes fluttering against his own. His skin is cold, but it’s so soft; Suho almost doesn’t want to pull away. He does, but it's a near thing.
“Oh, that’s adorable!” The woman steps up to them and holds Suho’s phone out for him to take.
“Thank you,” he mutters, eyes already glued to the screen, where the photo is still pulled up. In it, Sieun’s eyes are closed, and he’s leaning up like he wants to kiss back, and Suho’s arm is looped around his front. He hadn’t even realized that he’d done that.
Sieun pulls him up, off the bench and away from the rest of the line, thanking the woman once again as she takes their spot with her kids.
“Suho?” he says, when they’re out of the way.
They’re down by the next scene, a walkway of hanging, pearlescent string lights that sparkle around them, twinkling and lighting their faces in a cool blue.
Suho still hasn’t said anything.
“Are you okay?” Sieun asks.
He is, but something’s stirring in him. Honestly, it has been all day, since Sieun told him about the liking boys thing. Suho’s thinking maybe he does too. Because he wants to kiss Sieun again, not on his cheek this time.
“Sieun-ah,” Suho says, but he doesn’t have anything else to say, nothing that he has the words for, anyway. He reaches forward, puts hands on Sieun’s jaw, lets his right thumb brush over the spot he kissed before. His eyes are on his mouth, pink and plush looking. And, Jesus, has Sieun always looked this pretty?
Sieun calls his name like a question again, but he’s looking at Suho’s mouth too.
It can’t be helped.
Suho leans in and lands the next kiss on Sieun’s lips.
Sieun inhales sharply, his lips parting, and Suho fits their mouths together closer, lets them drag together again. The lights around them are flickering behind Suho’s eyelids, and he can feel Sieun’s head falling further back, melting into the kiss. It sends butterflies flitting through his stomach. He kisses him once more, then pulls back, feeling their lips part with a soft pop. Sieun keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, then blinks them open in a flutter, looking up at Suho with something like love.
They need to go home now.
The trip back is rushed. They don’t talk much, just shuffle back up toward Sieun’s dorm, careful not to slip, hand in hand the whole way. Outside Sieun’s room, the hallway is quiet, so much so that the sound of Sieun unlocking his door seems to echo around them, ringing in Suho’s ears even after Sieun closes the door behind them. He leaves the big light off, and Suho takes a quick moment to flick on the lamp on his desk, then draws back to Sieun, walking him back until he’s pressed to the dresser, holding him by the waist.
Sieun looks up at Suho, expression open, unguarded.
“Do you like me?” Suho asks.
He nods.
“Me too, I like you.” Suho runs his thumbs over the divots on either side of Sieun’s hips, just under his stomach. “Since when? When did you start liking me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Come on,” Suho eggs on.
“As long as I can remember,” Sieun says. “I guess the whole time.”
“Really?”
“Suho,” Sieun says, annoyed, flustered.
Suho lets out a delighted, little laugh. “Okay, baby.”
“Baby?”
“You don’t like it?” Suho cocks his head. “I can’t help it. You’re my baby.” Sieun huffs and drops eye contact, an admission on its own.
Suho grabs his chin and steers his gaze back to him, God, he’s gorgeous. He dips down to kiss Sieun’s cheek, the other side to even it out, then the corner of his mouth, his upper lip, just under his eye, his jaw— Sieun makes a frustrated little groan and pulls Suho’s mouth back to his. They kiss slow, unhurried, mouths open and warm breath mingling. When Suho slips his tongue forward, just a little, just to see, Sieun lets out a wanting sound, pulling Suho in closer by his sweater.
Things get a lot wetter then. Their tongues move together in a slick glide that’s loud and lewd in the silence. It sets Suho’s ears on fire, makes his need twist in his stomach, lower. He kisses Sieun deep, the way he’s learning he likes it, then he ducks his head to Sieun’s neck, licking over his collarbone and smiling at the feel of Sieun swallowing, his hands still gripping the bottom of Suho’s sweater.
Suho stays there for a minute, leaving more hickies on Sieun’s neck. He sucks a mean one into the spot just under Sieun’s ear, and the whine that follows has Suho squeezing his eyes shut against his own shock of arousal. Sieun’s hips move a little, pressing forward in a short grind.
He’s hard.
The realization makes Suho’s mouth stop moving while he gets his bearings.
“Sorry,” Sieun says, tilting his hips back to make space between them again.
Suho groans and lays another kiss to Sieun’s throat, then fits his leg between Sieun’s thighs and presses up, into the heat of his dick.
“Ah!” Sieun’s head thunks back against the wall, a shocked moan punching out of him. His hips stutter forward into the pressure. “Suho.” He’s panting hard already.
“Too fast?” Suho pauses to ask, pulling Sieun’s ear with his teeth. When he leans back enough to look at Sieun’s face, he’s obviously flushed, eyes unfocused.
Sieun shakes his head.
His neck is bared back and he swallows, eyes dropping to Suho’s mouth again. “Can we kiss again?”
Suho smiles and hurries to oblige, catching Sieun’s bottom lip first, then dipping his tongue back in, sliding it across Sieun’s and relishing in the way Sieun goes a little boneless. He slips his hands around to Sieun’s ass, pulling him into an easy grind until he’s riding Suho’s thigh, whining and drooling into the kiss. Suho’s own cock throbs in response; it’s a rush, seeing Sieun turned on.
Sieun’s movements speed up a little, then slow to a stop. He makes a throaty noise in frustration and looks at Suho with wet eyes. He looks desperate, and he’s clinging to Suho like it’ll help and fuck. Suho wants him.
“Come here,” Suho says, wrapping a hand around Sieun’s wrist and bringing him to the edge of the bed. He perches there, dropping his hands to Sieun’s jeans, unbuttons and unzips. Sieun’s breathing speeds up a little, and he shivers when his pants fall to the floor, stepping out of them before he ushers Suho up from the bed.
“You too,” he says.
Suho stands and takes off his own jeans, whips off his sweater and undershirt while he’s at it. Sieun’s still in his sweatshirt, but that’s fine. His boxers are tented, a little wet where the tip of his cock rubs. Suho’s mouth wets looking at it.
The bed dips under his weight as he sits, pulling Sieun to straddle him and sliding hands under his sweatshirt, gliding along warm skin.
Sieun’s hands mark their own path. They drag down Suho’s chest, circle his nipples, feel the way his stomach flexes. When Sieun gets to his briefs he hesitates once, then palms Suho’s cock through his briefs. “I wanna see.”
Suho hums a little at the feeling. His dick stands thick and heavy as he slides his underwear down, leaning back to brace on his elbows, and Sieun looks him over, so he spreads his legs a bit, showing off, running a hand down himself.
Sieun moves to straddle him again, but Suho stops him before he can.
“Can I?” he asks, fingers hooked into Sieun’s boxers. Sieun nods and sits up a little on his knees to help Suho pull them down.
Jesus, he’s so hard. His cock is smooth, red at the tip, and pretty, like the rest of him. A million different ideas flash through Suho’s head. Sucking Sieun off, letting Sieun fuck his thighs, fucking Sieun. For tonight, though, he knows exactly what he wants. He guides Sieun to line them up, both twitching and groaning when their cocks touch.
Sieun leans forward, bracing his arms on Suho’s shoulders, and then he moves, dragging their lengths together in a leisurely slide.
Suho’s never given much thought to getting off with another guy, but the feel of Sieun’s velvet-soft dick rubbing against his, growing stiffer and slipperier as they move, has satisfaction zinging through his body, down to his feet, curling his toes.
Sieun’s gone too, lost in pleasure, his head tilted back as a string of low moans spills from his throat. He grinds down harder on the next pass of his hips, and his hands curl, nails digging into Suho’s chest. His mouth drops open further in a silent moan and a gasp, like he’s close already.
“Fuck,” Suho bites out. “Come on, baby.” He fits a hand around the two of them as best he can, squeezing a little so the next drag of their cocks is extra tight.
“Uhn—” Sieun’s rhythm stutters and he looks down at where he’s leaking all over Suho’s grip. Then he starts up again, faster, still watching. His own hand joins Suho’s on the other side, making a tunnel for them to fuck into. Something about seeing Sieun’s fingers wrapped around him like that strikes Suho as so dirty that his mind whites out for a moment.
He moans loud and long, eyes rolling.
“Suho,” Sieun keeps saying, over and over. “Suho.”
The slide is wet and hot and Suho’s losing it more and more with each time Sieun fucks forward, the tip of his cock rubbing against his own. He’s so close his legs are trembling where he keeps arching up to meet Sieun’s thrusts, but he wants Sieun to come— needs to feel it first.
“That’s it,” Suho says when Sieun rocks down hard again. He moves his free hand to grab at Sieun’s ass a little more firmly, and it slips. Just down into the hot crease, his middle finger brushing the tight hole there.
Sieun sobs. “Ah! Fuck—” He turns frantic, moving back and forth and pushing into their fists— back into Suho’s hand.
Suho presses harder, just until the tip of his finger pops in, and Sieun clenches hard. Suho goes lightheaded at the feeling.
Sieun uses their joined hands to work his dick fast, pulling down, then up, hard, the tension in his body ratcheting up until his back is bowing. His cock is drooling, fuck, Suho wants to see him come so badly.
He moves his hand, just a little, works his thumb in a tight circle around the head of Sieun’s cock, then presses it into the slit there and Sieun snaps. He comes with a loud shout, come spilling out of him and coating their hands where they both go back to working him through it. He’s shaking, still squeezing around Suho’s finger and moving his hips like he’s fucking.
He sighs as he comes down, shivering and moving away when the stimulation is too much.
Suho watches it all, rapt. His cock is pulsing, covered in Sieun’s hot come, and aching for relief. He strokes Sieun’s skin along his legs while he shakes, and eagerly lets him in when Sieun folds forward to fit himself into the space next to Suho.
“Felt good, sweetheart?” Suho manages.
Sieun nods, and rests his head on Suho’s shoulder. He leans in for a quick kiss, sweet as anything, before he takes his hand off of Suho’s jaw and puts it back down where he’s aching. Sieun fiddles with the head of Suho’s dick for a minute, fingers rubbing it and watching how Suho’s mouth drops open. And when Sieun presses hard under the crown, just to watch the way precum leaks out of him, Suho groans, grinds up into the pressure.
“Sieun, fuck,” he says.
Sieun speeds up his hand then, jerking the length of his cock once, twice, before tightening his hold and focusing on the tip, pulling in quick strokes and spreading their come around. Suho’s hips twist, searching for more— his jaw is slack, he’s making so much noise, moaning hotly into the sweaty hair at Sieun’s nape.
He grips the sheets, planting his feet, and fucks up hard into Sieun’s grip, fucks up again, and then the tension snaps. He comes with a low groan, panting as Sieun slows his hand, gentling him through, sliding down to cup and roll his balls a little in between squeezes. When Suho’s body jerks at the next pass, Sieun finally lets up, brings his hand away to rest on Suho’s chest instead.
He draws his fingers in gentle circles, tracing invisible lines into Suho’s skin. Their breathing syncs up slowly and Suho smiles, turning to kiss Sieun’s forehead once.
“Was it okay?” Sieun asks.
God.
Suho slips down so that they’re lying face to face. His fingers dance over Sieun’s temple, the curve of his ear, the base of his neck.
“It was perfect.”
-
The rest of Suho’s trip passes too quickly. Neither of them is too keen on leaving Sieun’s bed much at all, but they do make a few trips out to some new restaurants and take walks around the lake.
On the last night, the local theater is playing It’s a Wonderful Life. Sieun surprises him with tickets, and they hold hands in the back row, ankles hooked together. Then, they walk back to the dorm, exchange small Christmas presents, and Sieun puts his mouth on Suho for the first time.
Later, they lie together under the covers, whispering despite the absence of anyone around to hear them. In the morning, Suho will pack and kiss him for the last time until the summer. It’s harder this time, to leave Sieun here and know that they’ll be going back to messaging and video chats and voice memos for months. But even as reality sets in, the snow falls outside, and Sieun smiles where he lies on Suho’s chest, and Suho’s never been happier.