Chapter Text
The first major decision Charlie had to make was where to announce the Happy Hotel.
Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. Considering things, the first major decision perhaps was picking the site for the hotel or choosing to approach a bedraggled, unconscious Angel Dust on the sidewalk. Although, if you were being really thorough, then the first major decision Charlie had to make was in deciding to go forwards with the project at all. Maybe it was deciding to take a proactive role and trying to fix the suffering of her people despite the sheer apathy her father displayed towards the whole problem!
The Happy Hotel had a lot of ‘first steps’.
It was scary actually putting together a project like this, something so wild and ambitious that Charlie knew would meet scepticism over scepticism but she knew it could work! She knew she could save her people from the cruelty of Heaven. Her dad hadn’t had anything to say about how the Exterminations could be forced to stop so it was up to Charlie to prove to Heaven that there was a way of managing Hell’s overpopulation problem without hurting anyone.
Charlie had felt something inside her soul dying for the past seven years with every ringing of the Extermination Bell. No one seemed like they were going to do anything. Sinners and Hellborn existed separately from each other so no Hellborn authority would lift a finger for her people. Overlords wielded power only within the Pride Ring and had no means to negotiate with Heaven. As for Charlie’s parents, well…
So, it was up to her!
Charlie would rise to this moment, she would help her people and prove herself through the Happy Hotel. The hotel was so important. It was the most important thing she had ever done in her life and was likely to remain that way. She had to get it right, had to make sure that the Happy Hotel swung out onto the scene with momentum! Charlie needed to make sure people were interested in redemption.
No pressure.
It had been less daunting when it had only been a dream in her head. Charlie had been so nervous when she confided in Vaggie but Vaggie—sweet, perfect Vaggie—had cupped her face with a hand and said it sounded wonderful. It had been a relief to not have her idea immediately laughed at but instead be met with interest. Vaggie’s faith in her really made Charlie feel like she would succeed! All the way through acquiring the Hotel building and acquiring her first guest, Vaggie had been by her side and Charlie’s confidence had boomed.
But now, it was threatening to deflate again under the nerves.
Charlie fiddled with the cuff of her shirt as she walked through the Entertainment District with Vaggie, occasionally ducking under artillery.
The Entertainment District was an eternal warzone. It wasn’t as lethal as the Badlands or the Downside District both of which were perpetual combat areas. The Entertainment District was closer to trench warfare—if trench warfare had involved trying to win customers’ attention in concert with trying to shell your opponents to smithereens.
A hundred different factions were in hot competition to corner the entertainment market. Business was cutthroat and involved many literal cut throats as corporate raids were liable to include machine guns before forensic accountants.
As a consequence, Hell’s media environment was highly decentralised and liable to be completely reshaped over the course of an eventful afternoon. Charlie couldn’t count the number of times a TV show she’d liked had abruptly ended because the company creating it had been massacred by a competitor.
It made choosing how to get her message out to Hell difficult.
Charlie eventually had decided on the Internet as a platform. The TV groups were generally older but counterintuitively were more unstable. The added decades allowed grudges to become entrenched and out of control. By contrast, while there were thousands of tech startups creating platforms and hardware, there was a clear leader in the realm of social media.
It had taken a lot of begging for Velvette to agree to interview her about the Happy Hotel but it had happened! It was happening! Charlie was actually going to be announcing the hotel for all of Hell to see.
A half an hour livestreamed interview on Sinstagram. The interview would be edited into a neat video to then be promoted by Velvette’s burgeoning empire. Velvette would be the one doing the interviewing and those videos tended to go viral as they involved unusual… people and ideas. But the company Velvette normally kept didn’t matter! What mattered was that this was a guaranteed way to get Charlie’s message out there.
Anyway, Charlie shouldn’t be so judgemental towards people she had never met.
But actually, being here, in the Entertainment District with Vaggie was a surreal and exciting experience. Charlie looked over her shoulder at Vaggie as they entered the Velveteen Borough—a two block area dominated by Velvette’s signature purples and pinks and composed solely of her employees and businesses— and beamed at her girlfriend. Vaggie gave her an encouraging smile in return, holding her hand.
“You’re going to do great, babe,” Vaggie said, squeezing her hand.
Charlie smiled at her. “I hope so. I really, really hope so.”
“Well, you—”
“Oh! Oh!” Charlie interrupted Vaggie. “This is it! This is Velvette’s creator house!” She bounced on her feet, taking in the whole building. This was it. This was her moment.
“I still think that name sounds weird,” Vaggie muttered and looked up at the severe building, made entirely of reflective glass and metal with vertical neon lights running up and down the sides. It looked fashionably armoured.
“Let’s go, Vaggie!” Charlie rushed inside in excitement, pulling Vaggie behind her only to come to a quick stop after passing the threshold and before confronted with the absolute mania inside.
It was bright; neons and white floors and gold accenting everywhere. The building wasn’t that big but it was packed to capacity with people rushing around. There was a queue of sinners waiting for the reception, all dressed to the nines, ready to beg for a chance to pitch themselves to Velvette. Employees on missions moved through the space like military strike teams in between other sinners having complete emotional breakdowns. A woman in an 80s power suit stalked by Charlie, speaking harshly into an earpiece “I literally do not care if there’s a supply chain issue, we need those chips today. You know what’ll happen if you violate our contract… Uh huh, I don’t see how an imp mining union is my problem.” Another woman pushed by Charlie, running for the glass doors, face dripping with tears. The elevator dinged open and a man was hauled out by a pair of security guards. “Why didn’t I get the job?” the man howled as he was carried out of the building by the guards like a sack of potatoes. “I worked for Google! I’m good at what I do! Was it because I touched Velvette’s hair? I just wanted to know if it felt like doll hair, honest!”
Charlie swallowed.
She felt Vaggie take her hand. The reassurance let her square her shoulders and remember her mission. The Hotel was so important. She couldn’t let herself be offput by a slightly busy environment.
However, before Charlie had a chance to put this mustered courage into action, a sinner rushed up to them. “Hey, are you the princess?”
“Yep, that’s me,” Charlie said. “I’m Charlie, hell—oh, woah!” She hadn’t meant to squawk but the young woman had taken her assent and grabbed her by the wrist, yanking her through the throng.
“Charlie!” Vaggie called, reaching for her. Charlie managed to grab Vaggie hand before they were separated. They were both bodily pulled through the reception, through several doors, up a flight of stairs, through another set of doors and into an elevator.
“Ride that up to the fifth floor and wait outside the studio for someone to take you. Have a great day!” And the sinner was gone in a flash.
Charlie and Vaggie blinked a few times. Vaggie said slowly, “Do you think her spots were cheetah spots or am I just making assumptions?”
Charlie laughed. “They do all seem very… engaged here!”
“Engaged, sure. I’d say deranged personally but…”
“Vaggie,” Charlie snorted, trying for stern and failing miserably. It was poor form to insult people who were hosting her for an interview and Charlie didn’t like the idea of being pass-remarkable about sinners. They were her people after all, and she was always trying to be understanding and empathetic. But Charlie couldn’t deny that sometimes it was nice just to have a little laugh however guilty it made her feel.
Vaggie smiled at her and the elevator doors opened to another lobby dominated by an imposing set of door with an imposing ‘Do Not Enter Unless Authorised’ sign.
“I guess we just wait here then. I can’t believe this is really happening.” Charlie felt like she was in a dream. Her excitement and anxiety were one entity, thrown together in a blender to make her want to burst into song and dance.
Vaggie took her hand. “You’re going to do great, babe.”
“I wrote down my talking points,” Charlie told Vaggie, holding up her page of notes. “I highlighted the best parts!”
Vaggie took the page and looked over it. “All of this is highlighted.”
“Because it’s all important!” Charlie beamed at her girlfriend. Vaggie gave her that bemused, fond expression that did all kinds of things to Charlie. “Is this a drawing?” she pointed at the bottom of the page.
“Yes!” Charlie surged over to Vaggie to point at the drawing herself. “That’s the happy ending! Everyone smiling and happy in Heaven.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple,” Vaggie said. “Just please follow the talking points we went over. And—And do not sing!”
“Alright fine,” Charlie said, then grinned and continued in a dire British accent “I’ll just have to rely on my impeccable improv skills.”
“So, you’re the princess then?”
Charlie gave a shriek of surprise and Vaggie jumped as Velvette spoke behind her. Charlie whirled around to see the sinner standing beside the open door to the studio, giving her an unimpressed look.
Oh God, Velvette had absolutely heard the bad British accent. Was she offended? Was it offensive to do British accents? Had she already made herself look unprofessional?
Charlie took a quick, deep breath—that ended up sounding like a gasp—to recalibrate herself. She could salvage this! She needed to make a good impression so the interview would go well so sinners would be convinced to give the Happy Hotel a chance so she could prove redemption was possible so she could live up to her mother’s dream. Easy!
“That’s right. That’s me! Charlie Morningstar,” Charlie said, landing somewhere between manic and a four-year-old on a sugar rush. “It’s so good to meet you, Velvette. Thank you so much for agreeing to have me on your show!”
“Right,” Velvette said, unimpressed. “You only sent me fourteen emails about it.”
“Well, I mean, fourteen isn’t really that many—”
“In addition to the seven DMs on Hellbook, four messages on Sinsgal, five comments on my Sinstagram page, and eighteen customer submissions directly to my website.” Velvette looked at Charlie flatly. “You’re pretty fucking desperate, you know that, yeah?”
“I mean… It’s important…”
“I know you’ve been crawling up the arsehole of every person in the district who has even half a studio. So, you’ve clearly got something you’re just gagging to say.” Velvette flicked her curls over her shoulder. “Colour me fucking intrigued to see what gets Hell’s nepo baby so up in my business.”
Charlie’s shoulders fell and she fought to stop her smile from falling as well.
“Hey,” Vaggie said, stepping forward. “Why even agree to have us if you’re just going to insult Charlie?”
“I insult everyone I have on, babe. You’re not special,” Velvette scoffed. “Now, listen up. I’ll start the interview and introduce us, I’ll set the tone then I hand it over for you to read out your prepared little thing—” Velvette looked disdainfully at the paper in Charlie’s hand, eyes lingering on the drawing at the bottom, “—then we do a little q and a, you say your final piece and I close the show. You get it?”
“Uh, do I get to see what the interview questions are before we start?” Charlie asked.
“No,” Velvette said, flatly. “It ain’t gonna be scripted. We need some, you know, fluidity. Spontaneity. You’ll look shite if you seem like you’ve rehearsed answers for this. Will that be a problem?”
“Not at all!” Charlie said. “I like spontaneity! Um, how do you feel about singing?”
Velvette stared at her for a second then laughed. “Sure, fuck it. Yeah, you can sing. Please do actually.”
“Charlie—” Vaggie started to say but was cut off by Velvette.
“Right, I’m gonna do my touch ups. You sit yourself in the studio and do any last-minute breathing exercises or whatever the fuck.”
Velvette had a way of speaking where she never gave instructions, she said statements with a level of finality that it was impossible for the world not to reshape itself to reflect whatever she’d just said. After making her declaration, Velvette stalked off, heels clicking like a metronome.
Charlie and Vaggie were already walking towards the studio before Charlie even realised she was obeying her. Charlie felt the urge laugh. She was so full of energy, at that bubbly point where she was full of electricity. This was so important. She was doing it. She was really doing it!
The studio was more elaborate than what Charlie had been expecting. It looked closer to a television filmset than the informal set up she’d seen in Velvette’s videos. It had always looked so much more… homey or authentic on screen. In reality, off camera, there were lighting arrays and microphones and cables and a clear division between the area to be filmed and the area where the filming was done. The most surreal thing were the two camcorders set out on tripods. They looked like something Charlie could buy in any tech store. They weren’t fancy or high-end or expensive looking. They looked… normal. It was a strong contrast to the expense of the rest of the equipment.
The set (because that’s what it was, right?) was a circular, deep brown table with a pair of golden chairs opposite each other. In front of each seat was a microphone that Charlie would hazard was very expensive but she truly did not know. The fake wall behind the table was deep purple with pink fairy lights, bookshelves, picture frames, and a large neon ‘Velvette’ in a curly font. The overall impression was a mix of someone’s cosy sitting room and a chic journalist’s office.
Charlie looked over at Vaggie who was taking in the whole place. She seemed nervous which Charlie got! She was also nervous and she was certain at least part of Vaggie’s nerves were for Charlie which she thought was very sweet but she was sure that this would go well. Because it had to go well. So, it would! Yeah…
The ever-present fear at in her mind, pushed underneath a tarp of optimistic, enthusiasm threatened to bubble over the corners. Charlie’s fingernails dug into the palms of her hands. She could not let everyone down. She could not fail because then—
“Hey, Vaggie,” Charlie said, brightly turning to Vaggie with a sly smile.
“Yeah, Charlie?” Vaggie replied, turning to her away from the bright set.
“Velvette wants me to sing,” Charlie said in a singsong voice.
“Yeah, I know she does but I don’t think you should,” Vaggie said.
“Why not?” Charlie said, stopping short in surprise at the seriousness of Vaggie’s response. It had just been a light-hearted reference to Vaggie’s reluctance to allowing Charlie to sing—which she didn’t really understand, singing was such a pure expression of emotion and the perfect way for the citizens of Hell to understand her sincerity and devotion to the project of redemption—but Vaggie seemed so uncomfortable with the idea.
“I don’t trust her,” Vaggie said. “She clearly doesn’t want to do this out of any interest in redemption. She doesn’t respect you. She just wants some entertainment and I… I want to make sure this goes well for you.”
Charlie stared at Vaggie. Velvette was rude, there was no denying that but really, most sinners were. If you couldn’t handle some jabs, some insults, then there was no surviving Hell. Charlie really hadn’t liked being called a ‘nepo baby’ but she knew that was how some people viewed her. Princess Charlie Morningstar, delicate and useless child. If Charlie wanted that perception to ever change, she had to do something herself. Which she was. Right now, in fact.
Velvette was kind of hostile, yes, but Charlie knew she could win her and Hell over. It would be her own words and ideas streamed live—there was no way for this to go wrong!
Vaggie reached over and straightened Charlie’s bowtie. “Your ideas are amazing. You are amazing. I don’t want someone to try to humiliate you.”
Charlie took one of Vaggie’s hands still on her bowtie. “That’s really sweet of you Vaggie.”
Vaggie smiled at her but still looked downcast. “Just… just stick to the talking points and don’t let her bait you.”
“I won’t,” Charlie promised.
“And don’t sing,” Vaggie added. Charlie rolled her eyes. She would try not to sing… unless the right moment presented itself.
“Which one of you is today’s guest?” A sinner fiddling with the lighting asked them.
“That’s me.” Charlie raised a hand instinctively.
“Right. Chair on the left is yours. Ms Grey Hair, if you’re not a part of today’s stream don’t even think about stepping over that line.” The sinner nodded at a white line painted on the ground.
“Oh, uh, right,” Vaggie said. “I’ll just… stay over here then.”
The sinner shrugged. “Don’t care.”
“Oi, do I pay you all to stand around gawking,” Velvette barked entering the studio. “Get in your fucking positions people. That includes you, princess.”
Charlie jumped at those words as Velvette’s employees sprinted to their jobs. Vaggie gave a final encouraging smile that Charlie returned before taking her seat behind a microphone.
Velvette fluffed her hair a final time before sitting down on her seat. She eyed Charlie up and down. “You gonna read straight off the page?” she asked, eyebrow raised.
Charlie looked down at her talking points. “Y-yes. Is that an issue?”
“Nah, not an issue. Just makes you look amateur.” Before Charlie had time to really process that and decide if she wanted to change her approach, Velvette turned to the camcorder on their left. “Right, let’s get this show on the fucking road!”
There wasn’t a countdown or any cue that Charlie was aware of to signal that they were streaming but Velvette was suddenly beaming at the camera.
“Hello, my lovelies! Welcome to another episode of Tea With Vee. I hope we’re all feeling a bit cosier now that this year’s Extermination is over. Yes, lots are dead but you’re not. Best to celebrate it. It’s a fun time of year, lots of new opportunities opening up, a chance for new resolutions and new beginnings. To talk about all of that shite, we have a special guest today. Local Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar.” Velvette gave Charlie an expectant look which she realised was her cue. She schooled her face into her best camera-ready expression.
“Oh, yes! That’s me. Although, I prefer to go by Charlie, um…”
“Very down to Earth of you.” Velvette nodded. “Anyway, Charlie, you have a project you want to promote, right? Do you want to tell us all about it?”
“Right, yes, I do want to tell Hell about it,” Charlie said, trying to find her footing. Her hand found her page of notes and she looked up, off camera to see Vaggie nodding at her encouragingly. “Right. Well, as most of you know I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everything around me. Hell is my home and you are my people. Like, um, like Velvette said we just went through another Extermination and it breaks my heart to see so many of my people slaughtered every year. No one is even given a chance!” Charlie stood up, the passion of her words driving her to need to move.
“I hear you, girl,” Velvette said, “but stay in your seat. You’re gonna muck up the recording.”
“Oh, right.” Charlie sat back down, embarrassment threatening to undercut her drive but she had to continue. “Well, the point is, I can’t stand idly by while the place I love is subjected to such meaningless violence! So, I’m going to do something about it because there must be a more humane way, an alternative way to save sinner’s souls. Through redemption!”
“Redemption?” Velvette prompted.
“Yes! Redemption. I’m opening a hotel to rehabilitate sinners. The first of its kind!”
The silence that followed this was cavernous. Velvette was actually gaping at her. The sinner who had been tweaking the lights burst in laughter only to stop when Vaggie decked him. Everyone was staring at Charlie in glee, disbelief or gleeful disbelief.
Her mother would never have garnered this reaction.
“I just thought,” Charlie gabbled, “because I mean, hotels are places you check into temporarily because you’re going to be moving on to somewhere new, somewhere better. I mean, I really believe that through redemption, people can go to Heaven and—”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Velvette interrupted her, flapping a hand. “Back up. There’s too much fucking here.”
“Oh, do you have some questions?” Charlie felt the cracking of the cocoon in her chest containing a butterfly of hope.
“Yeah. Fucking many of them too,” Velvette said. “Okay, just, like, to begin with. You have a problem with the Exterminations.”
“Of course I do!” Charlie exclaimed. “It’s horrible. I want to help save my people from them.”
“Love that, sure,” Velvette said. “But why is ‘redemption’ the solution to this?”
“What do you mean?” Charlie asked. “If a soul is in Heaven then it’s not Hell. That’ll solve the overpopulation crisis.”
“But what’s the overpopulation crisis?” Velvette asked. “We’ve all heard that bullshit excuse be trotted out but it’s obviously a load of bollocks. Hell operates for millennia just fine but then one day Heaven decides there are so many of us down here that they need to kill us on a fucking yearly basis? And it’s that Heaven that you want to ‘redeem’ people to enter? The one that kills us like dogs?”
“Well, I—”
“You’re the princess of Hell!” Velvette said. “The best you can do is beg at Heaven’s gates to let in just some of us sinners. Why not anything else?”
“Because I believe this could really work!”
“So, you’re suggesting we try grovelling to Heaven before trying, oh, I don’t know, fighting back? You’re the princess! Fucking marshal an army. Tell Heaven no. Keep the exorcists out.” If Velvette were princess of Hell, her eyes seemed to say, she would have already declared war.
Hopeless frustration burned through Charlie’s chest. She didn’t want a war with Heaven. She wanted Heaven to stop the Exterminations more than anything but they couldn’t directly fight back. The Exorcists were impervious to all damage. It would be a slaughter. Charlie wasn’t going to lead her people into an unwinnable war as a first resort. She didn’t like violence; there had to be another way. Redemption was a possibility no one had yet considered and what if that was the missing piece? It could be the thing to halt Heaven’s genocide and solve Hell’s overpopulation problem all in one fell swoop.
Charlie wished her mother was still around. She never would have allowed for the Exterminations to happen. She still couldn’t believe her father did.
Charlie glanced over at Vaggie for support but saw her girlfriend was involved in a remarkably silent brawl with the lighting tech.
“We can’t fight the Exorcists,” Charlie said. “People have tried and it’s ended… really badly. I just—I think that redemption is option no one has tried yet and it could save sinners!”
“But only the sinners you choose, right? The ones you choose for your hotel.”
“I’m not choosing anyone!” Charlie said, aghast. It was a horrible accusation. She wasn’t going to pick people out of a crowd for redemption; play favourites or deny anyone the opportunity to improve. That wasn’t what the Happy Hotel was about at all. “I believe everyone is capable of redemption!”
“Everyone, really?” Velvette asked, unimpressed.
“Every sinner deserves the chance to try to change,” Charlie said. “It’s not fair to deny anyone that chance.”
“Do you really mean that, anyone?”
“Yes,” Charlie implored Velvette to understand her sincerity. “I really, really mean that.”
“So, if I go down to Katie Killjoy’s studio and nab Jeffry Dahmer for you, you’d be a-okay with letting him into your little summer camp?”
Charlie fought off the scowl that was brewing. Velvette was deliberately trying to make her look like a hypocrite. “If he was interested in joining the Happy Hotel, I would welcome him and allow him to stay and atone for his sins.”
Charlie glanced over to Vaggie. She gave Charlie a supportive thumbs up before going back to threatening the lighting tech. Charlie looked back at Velvette’s unimpressed face. “I feel like you aren’t really understanding me. Every single one of you has something good inside of you. I think, I can explain better.”
And then Charlie leapt onto the table and started singing about the Happy Hotel. The microphone went flying. The freedom of just expressing everything in music was unparalleled. At one point, Charlie started tapdancing. She finished her song triumphantly, both arms raised over head, chest moving up down from the exertion.
“Does that help?” Charlie asked Velvette, smiling.
Velvette stared at her, gobsmacked and Charlie felt a surge of triumph for putting that expression on Velvette’s face.
“You actually sang,” Velvette said. “Holy shit.”
Then the studio erupted into laughter, including the sinner still wrestling with Vaggie. Embarrassment crawled up Charlie’s spine. Her arms reflexively tucked into her sides and she slid off the desk, back to her chair.
“Someone fetch me a bloody mic replacement,” Velvette commanded. As one of her employees retrieved Charlie’s microphone from where it had brained a cameraman, Velvette looked back at Charlie and then laughed again, the laughter coming out of her like a geyser.
“Okay, okay, okay, princess,” Velvette said in between laughs, “you’ve clearly gone in for some fucking Kool-aid. Good for you! But there’s still a bloody great hole in the middle of this whole thing.”
Velvette’s employee replaced the microphone in front of Charlie, buffing it quickly before sprinting off camera.
“What do you mean?” Charlie braced for whatever new line of attack Velvette was clearly preparing.
Velvette snapped her fingers and a purple hologram with a video feed appeared between them. The video started playing clips from earlier in the interview, Charlie’s own words repeated back for everyone to rehear.
“I really believe that through redemption, people can go to Heaven and…Because I believe this could really work!”
“‘Believe’,” Velvette echoed. “You believe that redemption is possible. You believe that a sinner could get into Heaven. You don’t have any kind of proof, do you, princess?”
“I mean, no. It is untested—”
“So, why should anyone try it out?” Velvette asked. “I mean, you want people to come to your hotel and get ‘rehabilitated’ with no bleeding evidence that they’ll be rewarded for it?”
“Becoming a better person isn’t about getting a reward for it.”
“No? We should be become better people just because? Charlie, I thought this about saving people from Extermination. Ain’t that the reward you’re promising?”
“That is the goal,” Charlie said, trying to find the difference. It was all so blurred now! She wanted to save her people from the Exterminations and that required becoming better people but sinners wouldn’t actually be rehabilitating truly if they were doing it for only selfish reasons. There needed to be something more, she knew it! But she didn’t know how to say that.
“…and at the end of the day,” Velvette was saying, having continued to speak. “This is Hell. Who the fuck wants to become a better person in Hell just because?”
It was a rhetorical question but Charlie seized on it. “Actually, we already have a guest!
Velvette blinked. “Shit. Really?”
“Seems people are more interested in redemption than you expected.” Charlie tried not to be smug but it was so satisfying catching Velvette off-guard. “That’s right! His name is Angel Dust.”
“Yeah? Tell us about him, your first guest.” Velvette looked down at her phone, which had just lit up with a notification.
“He really believes in our cause and he’s shown incredible progress,” Charlie threw back. “He’s been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now!”
“And what are you defining as ‘out of trouble’?” Velvette asked languidly, still scrolling on her phone.
“He’s gotten into no fights, caused no property damage, not hurt anybody.” Charlie folded her arms triumphantly. “He wants to improve himself.”
“Wow, sounds great,” Velvette said. “Just to double-check, it’s this Angel Dust, right?”
She flicked a hand a picture of Angel Dust from one of his movies floated between them, angled so the cameras could see it clearly too. Angel was winking lavishly in the picture and there was something shiny dribbling out of the corner of his mouth.
“Er, yeah, that’s him.” Was Velvette about to make fun of Angel for being a… an actor in videos of an adult nature? Charlie would defend him. Angel was proud of his work even if Charlie really wished he would stop showing her it.
“Oh, cool. Just wanted to make sure.” Velvette gave Charlie a nasty grin. “Cos I just found a comment from one of our lovely watchers and wanted to double-check it all. Seems like Angie has broken his streak.”
“Wha—”
The image of Angel Dust was replaced with live footage from a shaking phone that nonetheless clearly showed Angel Dust and another sinner throwing bombs in what was unmistakably a turf war.
“Thanks for the info, Vee.” Velvette blew a kiss at the camera.
“Oh shit,” Charlie said very quietly while Angel Dust whipped out a tommy gun and maniacally laughed while mowing down egg creatures.
“Seems like our rehabilitating sinner Angel Dust has just joined in the turf war happening between Cherri Bomb and some nobody. Looks like he didn’t believe in your mission, after all.” Velvette gave Charlie an exaggerated look of sadness while laughter bubbled underneath it.
“Stop showing this!” Charlie cried. “Put it away.” She tried to slash through the live feed but her hand just passed through it like it was a hologram and the video kept relentlessly playing.
“Put what away, princess? The truth? Wow, didn’t realise you hated the free press as well as your people!”
Charlie stomach dropped. She felt her eyes burn. “Hate my people? I don’t hate my people!”
“Really?” Velvette leant forwards. “Because it sure fucking seems that way from over here. I mean, you want to drag people along, make them change everything about themselves for no real reason, just because you say they should. And you say they should just so you can present them to Heaven like a shiny toy. You want sinners to change to be angels! You say you love Hell but really, you wish Hell was Heaven.”
“No, I don’t! I don’t!” Charlie was on her feet again. She wasn’t sure if she was going to cry or smash the table. “I love my people; I would do anything for them.”
“Except accept us as we are.” Velvette gave her a cool look. “Let’s face it, Princess Morningstar, you’ll never understand us because you’re not one of us.”
Charlie found herself at a loss for words. She opened and closed her mouth several times as her vocal cords failed her. She didn’t know what to say.
Velvette turned to the camera and gave it a winning a smile. “Princess Morningstar, everybody! Check out the Happy Hotel if you too want to dressed up into being Heaven’s bitch.”
And the stream ended before Charlie could get another word in.
…
It was later.
Charlie sat despondent on a couch in the dilapidated Happy Hotel. Nearby, Vaggie and Angel Dust were relitigating their argument over Angel’s lack of care for the Hotel’s reputation. Charlie didn’t say anything. It wouldn’t matter. Angel Dust had free will, he could choose to get into fights. She didn’t want to control him or any other sinner. She just wished he’d wanted to stick by the hotel’s rules. But Angel Dust was right in what he’d said when he’d blown up at Vaggie in the beginning of their argument, the hotel really did look pathetic now.
Charlie stared at the streamers and balloons she’d decorated the lobby with in a fit of excitement that morning. Against the crumbling paintwork and water-stained carpets, the decorations seemed childish.
Nobody had come to the Happy Hotel. Of course, no one had. Nobody would ever come. Velvette had systematically torn down her dream at every step of the interview, first the idea of redemption itself, then the potential clientele, and then Charlie’s very motivations.
It had left her rattled. She loved her people, she loved Hell. Charlie knew this. But somehow it had all gotten turned around and she felt wrong for wanting sinners to improve—as though she was imposing some kind of foreign morality onto them. It wasn’t wrong of her to encourage people to be kinder, more genuine, better. It couldn’t be.
It didn’t matter that Angel Dust had disregarded everything the hotel stood for. The announcement was always doomed to failure.
Charlie opened her phone again despite Vaggie’s past warnings against doing that. The first thing she saw was a meme of her photoshopped to be eating a bowl of cornflakes with the caption ‘Welcome Back John Harvey Kellogg’. The next was a post saying, ‘Puritanism tries out the hip new strategy of recruiting the devil’s daughter to punish sinners with shitty musical theater’. The next one forewent the attempts at comedy and just called her a cunt and hoped she’d be raped.
Charlie put the phone down.
She was a joke. Everyone saw her as an uptight prude who wanted sinners to not swear or have sex or do drugs and, okay, one of those were true but Charlie really didn’t have a problem with swearing or sex! But no. She, and the hotel, were loser moralists who hated sinners and everything they stood for. Charlie wanted to cry.
She picked up her phone again and thought about calling her mom. Charlie missed her so much. She would know just the right thing to lift Charlie’s spirits, find the angle that Charlie was missing that would allow her to swing the interview to her advantage. Where was she? Why wouldn’t she answer any of Charlie’s calls? Was it something Charlie had done?
Charlie should be able to fix this and yet she felt totally helpless. She couldn’t even get Angel Dust and Veggie to stop sniping at each other.
“—don’t get why it’s such a big deal!” Angel Dust said flippantly. “I do this shit all the time.”
“Not while you’re in the Hotel, you’re not supposed to!” Vaggie snapped back.
“So, if my boss tells me we’re doing a raid, you want me to—what—say no? Ask him just oh so nicely, can I be excused for the day?” Angel Dust laughed.
“This wasn’t because of your boss! This was something you did for fun.” Vaggie sounded like she wanted to rip her hair out. Charlie felt she really ought to comfort her but right now, she was too upset to think of moving off the couch.
“Yeah, it was pretty fun,” Angel Dust said.
Vaggie let out a wordless expression of pure frustration and rage. Charlie sank lower on her couch.
“Look, I was helping out my girl. That’s practically selfless!”
“Wanton violence is not a virtue!” Vaggie snarled.
“What? Never?” Angel Dust asked sarcastically.
Vaggie paused, collecting herself. She seemed really upset. “No. It’s not,” she said quietly.
Angel Dust looked taken aback by Vaggie’s reaction but before the argument could continue, there was a knock on the front door.
All the three of them turned to stare at it.
Charlie burst to her feet. Someone was at the Hotel. Someone had come to the Hotel even after seeing the interview! Maybe things were salvageable. She rushed to the front door, hope bubbling inside her as she opened the door and—
“Hel—”
Charlie shut the door again, paused for a second to try to recalibrate her brain then opened the door again.
“—lo”
She closed the door again. What the fuck? Nobody had seen him for years and now he was just outside her door.
“Vaggie…” Charlie said, nervously turning around to look at Vaggie and Angel Dust’s confused expressions. “The Radio Demon is at the door.”
“What?”
“What do I do?” Charlie asked in despair.
“Well don’t let him in.”
The sudden terror at the Radio Demon’s arrival at least managed to eclipse the disappointment of it not being a client. Unless… Well, who was to say he couldn’t be a potential client. Charlie had meant what she’d said about being willing to allow anyone seeking redemption into the Happy Hotel. An Overlord would be a challenge but that didn’t mean Charlie wouldn’t be willing.
Besides, the Radio Demon had been missing for years. Who was to say what he had experienced or what his motivations were? Maybe that time away from Pentagram City had been some kind of reflection over his actions!
Or maybe he was here to kill them all for a lark as a way of announcing his return.
Charlie opened the door a third time and got a proper look at the demon. He was tall, dressed all in red with the grey skin of a corpse starting to decay. Of course, the most prominent feature was his nearly luminescent yellow smile.
“May I speak now?” he asked politely.
“You may,” Charlie said with more confidence than she was actually feeling.
Alastor beamed and began, “Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart. Quite a pleasure. Excuse my sudden visit but I saw your fiasco on that newfangled kind of picture show that Overlord wannabe is so fond of splashing everywhere and I just couldn’t resist. What a performance! Why I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929. So many orphans!”
Somehow over the course of his words Alastor had managed to end up inside the Hotel, casually wandering about as though he was about to give Charlie a tour of her own building. Once he’d started speaking, it was as though there was no force in the universe that could make him stop. Charlie hadn’t a hope in Hell of getting a word in edgewise but that was seemingly no problem. Alastor didn’t require such mortal needs as another participant in order to have a conversation. Instead, he steamrolled right over Charlie through sheer force of personality and ability to monologue.
“Hey, stop right there!” Vaggie surged forward with her angelic spear to meet Alastor. “I know your game and I won’t let you hurt anyone here in this Hotel.”
“Oh dear.” Alastor gently tipped Vaggie’s spear to the side with one finger. “If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already.”
“Do you want to be redeemed?” Charlie asked, her hope spilling out of her.
Alastor laughed heartily. “Oh dear me, no. Absolutely not. I think this idea of redemption is a complete folly and will crash and burn. But have no fear, I am here to help!”
Charlie and Vaggie stared at him but, much like Velvette, Alastor spoke with a certainty to manifest his words into reality and they didn’t seem to have a choice in the matter.
Over the course of an hour, Alastor happily demonstrated that help by providing two new staff members for the hotel, refurbishing the lobby, and violently crushing a snake sinner who attacked the Hotel in a blimp. Alastor’s smile looked the sincerest it had ever been in that moment and Charlie felt a shiver go up her spine at the thought of what kind of help she had accepted into her Happy Hotel.