Chapter Text
Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Angela’s mind was racing as tears came to the corners of her eyes. Her hands frantically pulling everything out of her bag. Make-up clattered, hair ties and Bobby pins on the floor, and still nothing. He’s gone. Her birth control is gone. Her heart is in her throat when she finally hears her own screams and throws the bag to the floor.
She can’t have his baby. He can’t make her have his baby, god damn it. She doesn’t fucking care if he’s her husband. She doesn’t fucking care if it’s her duty to obey him. She doesn’t fucking care about this stupid role everyone forced on her. She falls to her knees and lets herself cry. She doesn’t care that she got herself into this fucked up situation because she couldn’t see who he was before he infected her life. He’ll say she’s cheating on him. He’ll say that’s why she’s taking it. He’ll be too much of a prideful prick to realize that it’s because she hates him. She hates him so much she can’t breathe. She loved him so much it hurts to hate him. She sits in a pile of mess on the floor for what feels like forever.
Amanda will be waiting. She wanted it, she wanted it now more than ever. She couldn’t bring herself to get up.
That’s when she heard the beep of their hotel room door.
“Angela?” A voice slurred. She wanted to punch something. Of course he’d been drinking. “Angela?!” He yelled far too loud. She got to get feet quickly and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“WHERE THE FUCK IS IT, ADAM?” She screamed. He smiled a little and his face feigned innocence. She wanted to kill him.
“What are you talking about, Angie?” That fucking name again. “Where is what?” He asked with a breathy laugh to his voice. He made his way to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down. Fury filled her veins.
“You know what.” She said in a low growl. His face darkened as quickly as it had pretended to be innocent.
“It’s gone.” Tears welled in her eyes. No, no, no. She felt a scream in her throat but she held it back. She heard her phone buzz on the counter. Her stomach flipped. Just hold tight, Amanda, please don’t give up on me. She thought to herself.
“I’ll get more.” She says through gritted teeth. He shook his head.
“No, you won’t.” He says firmly. She watches as he lifts from the chair only to grab a bottle from the mini bar and crack it open. “You don’t get to be a whore anymore. I’ve let it gone on long enough. It’s time for you to be a wife. It’s time for you to listen, Angela.” His words feel as hard as punches. She feels like a wild animal trapped in a cage.
“For the last fucking time, I’m not cheating on you.” Yet. This makes him truly angry. She flinches when he stands and moves like he’s going to grab her.
“Then what the fuck was that? Just tell me you don’t wanna have another man’s baby. Tell me why you’d do such a heinous fucking thing.” Fear filled her body and seized her. He’d never hurt her. Not really. Just a grip that was a bit too tight on her arm. Just the names and belittling. He’d never hit her. She’d never seen him this angry though.
She thought of the last few days. Spencer, and Shayne being there for her. Seeing them again. The anger and hatred she felt toward Adam, that only got worse the more she realized how much she’d been missing. Then Amanda. Sweet, soft, beautiful Amanda with her brown hair and soft skin. Her lips red and plump from kisses. Amanda who would never treat her with anything but gentleness.
“It’s because of you.” She says shakily. He chocks his head in question. “I don’t want to have a baby because of you.” Her courage built even as the tears welled. He’d ruined enough of her nights. He wouldn’t get this one too. His face got red and she saw the anger in his eyes. He advanced on her slowly. Her phone buzzed again.
“You are good for nothing else you stupid whore. I knew that when I married you. You’ll give me what I want or I will take everything from you. Don’t fucking forget who makes the rules.” She felt her knees buckle and before she knew it she was moving. She heard him behind her, reaching for her. Threatening her. He was stumbling. He was drunk, thank God he was drunk.
By the time she made it to the stairs, she realized all she had was her phone in her pocket. Her jacket had been abandoned, and now she was standing in a hotel hallway with nothing but her phone, and pajamas. Fuck, the hotel key. If she was lucky he’d pass out soon. If she was lucky he wouldn’t go through her shit. Anger filled her veins and she felt certain once again. Her phone buzzed but she still didn’t look at it even as she reached Amanda’s door number.
A couple hard knocks and a silent prayer was all that was needed for the other woman to swing open the door. Angela was out of breath and underdressed, but Amanda looked so beautiful… and so worried. God, she thinks she could love her. “Angel, I’ve been texting. Are you—“
“Can I kiss you?” Angela says suddenly, surprising even herself. Her body felt wired. She wanted the woman in front of her and she wanted her right now. Fuck Adam. She deserved to be happy for once in her god damn miserable life. Amanda looks at her still in shock but gives enough of a nod that Angela launches forward kissing her lips desperately.
Amanda’s mind was reeling. Luckily Angela assessed correctly when she realized Amanda could bear her weight but that didn’t mean she didn’t stumble when legs wrapped around her. She was desperate, ravenous, biting lips and tongues slipping in and out of mouths. Amanda turned to press Angela against the wall, holding her there with her body. Angela didn’t slow down, the wall against her back only spurred her on more. This wasn’t like their other kisses. This was hot and intentional. There were teeth to it. Fingers threaded through Amanda’s hair causing her grip on Angela’s waist to get tighter. Arousal flooded through her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been kissed like this. If she’d ever been kissed like this.
She’d been with plenty of women. She used to frequent the bars and kiss in bathrooms. She had a couple longish term partners but this, this was something else entirely. The woman attached to her wanted to devour her. She wasn’t even sure Angela had been with a woman. Teeth nipped her bottom lip and she groaned. She tried to break away for a moment but Angela just used the opportunity to kiss down her neck which distracted her completely from what she wanted to say. Eventually her grip on Angela loosened and she managed to gently lower the woman to where her feet could hit the floor. Amanda cupped her cheek and gently pulled back so she could look at Angela’s face.
“Ange, what happened?” Amanda asks sincerely. Angela shrugged but Amanda saw something there that let her know there was no way this was continuing without a conversation first. “It’s been over two hours, baby.” Amanda says softly, trying her best to convey all the worry she felt in her chest.
“It was nothing.” Angela lied. She didn’t know why they had to talk about it when what they were just doing felt so good. She just wanted to feel good. Instead of kissing her again, though, Amanda grabbed her hand and sat down on the bed in front of her.
“I need you to talk to me. I don’t want to just be a distraction, I want you to do this because you want to do this.” Amanda said. “I—I’ve never done something like this before and I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you. So please, tell me what’s going on?” Angela bit her lip and willed herself not to cry.
“I can’t do it with him anymore. I can’t live like this,” she started. The first tear started to fall, and the rest followed suit. Amanda looked at her with the most loving expression as she held out her arms. Angela finally crawled on top of her, not even taking time to be embarrassed. She just wanted to lean into the embrace that was being offered. She just wanted to feel loved so badly.
Amanda stroked her back, and tried not to cry herself. “You can leave,” she said softly. “So many people will take care of you, baby. I could take care of you.” She whispered, pressing her cheek to the top of Angela’s head.
“There’s no way out, Manda. I don’t—I don’t have anything.” Angela said. Amanda pulled back and looked at her in confusion. Her hand cupped the bottom of Angela’s chin, and gently guided it to look at her.
“You have me, baby. You have a whole family to back you up, and a ton of friends. You have places to stay, people who will care for you. Baby, you have so so so so much.” Amanda says softly. Angela looks up at her with wide wet eyes and she thinks she might just kill Adam the next time she sees him. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest as she held Angela close to her. “You don’t have to go back.” She said softly, giving Angela’s head kisses. Angela didn’t say anything, but Amanda hoped to God she was listening.
They stayed like that until Angela’s tears had fully dried and Amanda’s back started to hurt. “Baby, I’m too old for this.” Amanda joked. Angela chuckled.
“I don’t know, you seemed pretty agile earlier.” Angela said, turning her head so she could give Amanda her best eye brow raise, even though her face was still red from crying. Amanda laughed but it was breathy this time. She was human and earlier had been… she felt the familiar feeling below her waist and bit her lip.
“You’re… I swear to god.” Amanda said, looking away. Angela noted the breathiness didn’t go away, so she readjusted to straddle Amanda’s lap. Now Amanda noted they were face to face and it was much harder to look away from the big brown eyes studying her features. Amanda’s hands came to rest on Angela’s hips as she tilted her head up and ver so lightly.
Angela bit her lip and smiled coyly as Amanda gulped. “Baby, you’re going to be the death of me.” Amanda choked out, trying not to make eye contact and failing. Angela moved in closer, eyes glancing down at Amanda’s lips. Amanda shifted trying to find some relief. Angela smiled wider, but Amanda was still hesitant.
“I want you, Manda.” Angela said softly, close to the other woman’s lips. Amanda took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you, Ange. You were just crying, you—I don’t want to hurt you.” Amanda said, “I can’t hurt you.” Angela looked at her sincerely.
“You make me feel so alive. More alive than I have in years. I don’t know what tomorrow will be like but tonight, I want something for myself. I want you.” Angela says her lips finding Amanda’s neck and kissing softly. Amanda let out a moan, and felt her resistance start to give.
“We don’t have to do anything, we could just do this,” Amanda says softly. Angela smiled against her skin.
“I think I might explode if we did this and you didn’t touch me.” Angela says laughing. She made her point by rocking her hips on Amanda’s lap causing the older woman’s grip to tighten on her hips.
“You are—very convincing.” Amanda croaks out. “I want you so bad I can’t breathe. I just don’t want you to regret this.” Angela reached behind Amanda’s head to thread her fingers through soft hair.
“I think I’d regret it more if I didn’t.” Angela says making eye contact. Amanda searched for any signs of doubt or hesitation, but what she saw was want, need, and a confidence she only got glimpses of in the last couple days. This girl was dangerous. Amanda missed danger. Maybe that’s why Amanda leans in and kisses her just as roughly as Angela kissed her the first time.
It doesn’t take long for hands to start wandering. When Amanda’s lips start trailing down Angela’s neck, all Angela can think to do is point her eyes to the heavens and thank God for sin. Her hips start moving, desperate for any kind of friction but she doesn’t find it in this position the way she did with men. She whines, and as if reading her mind Amanda’s mouth goes to her ear and says in the sexiest voice she’s ever heard, “Try straddling my thigh, baby, instead of my waist.” She feels the gentlest scrape of teeth on the side of her neck as she shifts to sit on one of Amanda’s thighs. As soon as she’s seated she feels the relief she’d been looking for. Her hips start moving again, and she curses herself for still wearing clothes. One good shift of her hips and she is gasping into Amanda’s mouth as pleasure courses through her.
Amanda’s hands travel slowly but deliberately up her sides making her shiver. When they aren’t kissing, one of them is glued to the other's neck, kissing and biting. Amanda, careful not to leave marks and Angela far too lost in pleasure to care. Angela felt Amanda’s hand hovering at her ribs and it made her smile. “You can touch me, it’s okay.” She said in between gasps. Amanda let out a small sound Angela would never forget. Fingers traced Angela’s ribs until they felt for the underside of Angela’s breast.
“You’re not wearing a bra,” Amanda states simply. Angela smiles into the crook of her neck.
“I don’t wear bras to bed.” She says sweetly before nipping at the side of Amanda’s neck again. Amanda lets out a small moan and leans back so she can get a good grip on the bottom of Angela’s shirt.
When Angela’s hardened nipples feel the cold air she gasps. Warm soft hands gently cup her before squeezing. Angela bucks against the other woman’s thigh again and gasps. Was this what she’d been missing out on her entire life? She watched as Amanda leaned back to get a good look at her. A smile broke out on her face as she shook her head in disbelief. “You’re so beautiful, honey.” Amanda says. Angela stops her rocking for a moment and tries her best not to shy away from the compliment.
It’s almost too much, the way Amanda looks at her. She leans in and kisses her sweetly on the lips. “Manda, please,” she says. Amanda’s heart beat quickens and she takes a moment before flipping Angela onto her back making her giggle. It’s the music, the way she laughs. Angela’s knees bend next to Amanda’s hips as she sets one thigh between Angela’s legs. Lips meet hard Nile and Angela gasps. A hand finds brown hair and holds tightly as Amanda’s tongue laps at her breast. Soon Amanda is not just touching her chest but peppering kisses across her stomach too. Angela’s skin tingles where lips touch and she feels the heat in her body rush to the surface of her skin. Her hips lift to meet Amanda’s mouth as Amanda runs her tongue along the line of where her shorts sit. Fingers gently slide in the waist band of her shorts and underwear, and Amanda begins sliding them off.
“Manda,” Angela gasps, throwing an arm up by her head. “Fuck, I need you. Please.” She begs softly, making Amanda smile. Amanda’s heart beats loudly in her chest as she spreads Angela’s legs wider and lowers her mouth to the top of her mons giving it a small but sweet kiss. She uses her fingers to spread Angela open so she can see the glistening wetness.
“Fuck, baby.” She says her cheek pressing against the inside of Angela’s thigh. She took a breath and looked at Angela’s red face. “I’m going to taste you, okay?” Angela nodded frantically and Amanda could see why. She was so fucking wet. Amanda took a tentative swipe with her tongue at first, but when she heard Angela’s loud moan she decided to do a little more. Then a little more, and more. Until Amanda was eating her like Angela was her last meal. Amanda ground her hips into the bed as the legs over her shoulders squeezed. She tasted so fucking good.
“Oh my god, oh my god, Jesus Christ,” Angela said. Amanda laughed a little into her, and she heard the other woman chuckle too but it was so breathy. “Don’t you lau-ghhh a-at me, fuck!” She yelled. Amanda smiled and kept going. “I forgot how fucking good this felt.” Angela said with a whine. Amanda paused for a moment and looked at her curiously. Angela blushed, and gave her a look that plainly said questions later, fuck me now and Amanda truly couldn’t blame her.
As her tongue swiped Angela’s clit over and over in a steady pace and she felt the wetness stream down her chin, she lifted one of her hands that wasn’t holding Angela’s hips down and ever so slowly brought them to the outside of the woman’s core. Angela’s hips ground down as if trying to push Amanda’s fingers inside herself which made Amanda smile as much as she was capable of with her mouth preoccupied. She slowly slipped one finger in, then quickly added another one. She was so wet. Amanda groaned into her; letting herself enjoy the feeling of Angela wrapped tightly around her fingers.
With a couple more flicks of her tongue and a curl of her fingers, Amanda looked up to see Angela’s face contorted in pleasure. Her mouth was open in a silent scream, her brows scrunched, and sweat sticking her hair to her forehead. She was angelic as she came. Amanda slowed her motions, gently licking the other woman clean. Eventually, she simply rested her cheek on the inside of the warm thigh next to her head and watched as Angela came down from her high.
When Angela’s eyes fluttered open, she almost came again from the sheer sight of Amanda resting between her thighs with a smug look on face. She let out a small laugh as she grabbed one of the million hotel pillows next to her and gently threw it at Amanda. Amanda dodged the pillow, laughing too, and scrambled up to be nose to nose with her. “I had to humble you.” Angela said raspily. Her voice was going to need to recover from that one. Amanda laughed then lowered her lips to Angela’s.
As soon as her tongue tasted herself on Amanda’s lips Angela moaned again. God, this was so unbelievably hot. She’d never experienced anything like this. Yes, please had gone down on her but she usually had to do some weird coaching or it was all over the place… and that hadn’t happened in a long time anyway. Once Amanda’s lips separated from hers they started peppering her neck before coming next to her ear. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.” Amanda whispered, the words making Angela shutter.
“Fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” Amanda smiled against her skin.
“I bet you could do it again.” Angela whined and felt her face blush.
“Again?” She asked softly. She couldn’t fathom it. No partner had ever made her cum more than once. Amanda smiles at the look on her face and nods.
Angela feels like she might cry from the tenderness in her voice and the sweetness in her eyes.
“You can try...” Angela says breathily. “But first, you’re wearing far too many clothes.” Amanda’s smile gets wider as she reaches for her top. In one quick move it’s off her body, and Amanda’s chest is bare. Angela’s heart skipped beats looking at her. She was a theatre kid, she’d seen breasts before on accident but it was never like this. She remembered dressing rooms and locker rooms, how she used to make sure absolutely wasn’t looking at any girls’ chest. The way her ears would heat up and her mouth would go dry, and how the shame would seep in. How had she never done this before?
She sat up, meeting Amanda who was sitting up after taking off her shirt. She smiled as she looked at the other woman and her face flushed an embarrassing shade of red. “You’re beautiful,” she managed to get out. Amanda smirked at her and bit her lip. Angela’s hand hovered and she felt like a teenager again. When her hand touched Amanda’s hardened nipple she gasped. “Can I… can I try?” She asked almost shyly. Amanda looked at her so sincerely she almost turned away.
“If you’re ready, baby, you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” Amanda reassured her. Angela bit her lip and studied the woman in front of her. Slowly she moved closer and captured Amanda’s lips in a passionate kiss. Angela’s hands wandered and Jesus it was incredible. Amanda felt herself shiver every time the younger woman left her lips to kiss on her neck and collarbone. She let out a gasp as Angela’s lips went even lower until they were at her chest. She ran her fingers through Angela’s hair as she felt lips latch onto her hardened nipple. She felt herself grip harder than she meant to, but the sound from Angela’s throat as she tugged on her hair let her know that it was more than welcome.
Angela was a natural, and Amanda’s chest heaved with want. A mouth on one breast as a hand kneaded her other. She felt herself flush at the amount of love her boobs were being given. She looked down to find Angela’s mouth open with her tongue lapping at her nipple the way Amanda did to the other woman’s clit. Amanda let out a deep groan and ground her hips. “God, you’re doing so so so good baby.” Amanda whimpered. Angela felt her clit throb at the praise and ground her hips into the bed for relief.
Angela kissed lower and lower until she hit the waistband of Amanda’s shorts. Slowly and achingly she pulled them down along with the other woman’s underwear and positioned herself between thighs. She felt herself get nervous as she stared at Amanda’s glistening wetness. She wondered what it would taste like, how it would feel. She felt the hand that was tangled in her hair move to stroke her face. She pulled her attention up to meet Amanda’s eyes. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. You’re doing so good, but if you’re nervous we can always wait until next time. I have a toy if you’d rather use that.” Next time. Angela’s body felt like fire. Would there be a next time? How long could they get away with this? Adam takes so many trips for work. The voice in her head reminded her and she felt herself emboldened. This didn’t have to be the last time did it? Not if they didn’t want it to be?
She looked at Amanda, and felt the hand on her face. Quietly she said, “Maybe just a taste? And then we get out the toy?” Amanda smiled and nodded at her. Angela’s head dipped and soon she felt a wet tongue pressed against her. Her hand made its way back up to Angela’s hair and she desperately tried not to buck her hips too much. It was Angela’s first time and she didn’t want to do anything to rough yet, though she suspected that Angela wouldn’t mind based on her reactions to the hair pulling. When she felt Angela’s tongue against her clit she let out a small moan which seemed to spur Angela on even more. Soon she felt the feeling of a finger at her entrance and she heard herself practically beg for it.
“Please Ange, please yes.” Angela slipped a finger in, briefly pausing tasting her lover. “Fuck me with your fingers, more please,” Angela slipped in another finger and curled them against the rough spot on Amanda’s walls. She let out an encouraging scream. “Fuck, baby, so so so good. My perfect girl, such a good girl.” Amanda was breathless and the praise was making Angela light headed. No one had ever talked to her this way before.
“Grab the toy?” Amanda nodded quickly, and Angela slowly pumped in and out of her causing her to pause in pleasure for a moment. Soon, though, Angela was holding a vibrating bullet toy and her face was red again as she felt the vibrations against her fingers.
She made sure to keep fucking Amanda with her fingers as she placed the toy against Amanda’s clit. With one last curl of her fingers, she felt Amanda’s legs start to shake. Her heart beat in excitement. “Fuck, baby, I’m gonna—yes, so good,” Amanda said encouraging her to keep going. “Don’t move, honey, keep it right—“ As Amanda screamed she felt a rush of wetness on her fingers, and kept moving, not sure exactly when Amanda wanted her to pull back. She set the vibrator down, slowing her movements and went back in to taste Amanda’s cum. After a second, she felt a gentle tug on her hair and lifted her head to see Amanda’s flushed face loopily smiling at her.
Sheepishly she pulled back and said quietly, “did I do okay?” Amanda’s smile got wider as she reached down to pull Angela up to her. Amanda grabbed the hand that had been fucking her, still wet with her cum, and brought it to her mouth.
“You did perfect, baby,” Amanda said, licking one of her fingers clean. Angela groaned watching the other woman taste herself. “So so perfect,” she said smiling. Angela watched as Amanda licked her fingers and felt the fire in her belly again. When their lips collided it was messy, and Angela felt giddy with excitement. When their kissing slowed, Angela rested her head in the crook of Amanda’s neck. Silence passed between them and it was a comfortable kind. Angela knew there was more time in the night, and right now she felt her heart bloom with excitement and uncertainty.
Amanda was her’s and she was Amanda’s. Chanse was going to flip when he heard she liked girls. If he ever found out. Her heart beat quickened but this time it was with nervous fear. She was so excited about this, but could they really do it? Live in secrecy? Could she even tell Chanse? Could she tell anyone?
Suddenly it all felt so real. She just made a person cum. She just had sex with another person. She cheated on her husband. Like really cheated. Kissing was bad enough but they’d crossed the line. It was premeditated, she planned to do this. She felt her world start to crash around her and willed herself not to open her eyes. She hid her regret, and bit her lip instead.
“What are you thinking about, baby?” Amanda asked softly. Her hand was slowly rubbing Angela’s back, and it felt so nice. The tenderness made Angela’s insides flip. She thought of the way Amanda had touched her and how for moments she was somewhere else. In a perfect world where it was just her and Amanda, and he didn’t exist. She was someone different. She so desperately wanted to be someone different again.
“I’m thinking about,” her voice felt unsteady, “how I want you to make me cum again.” She blushed as she said it. She would tell Amanda about her fears, but right now, all she wanted more than anything in the world was to forget.
And forget is exactly what she did.