Chapter Text
The shameless sounds of their lovemaking enveloped the room. Dawn slowly crept in through the blinds, leaving a soft golden hue over the two lovers.
Somewhere along the night, after several tempestuous little touches from both Eloise and Phillip, the two found themselves back in a heated embrace.
Her short yet polished nails dug mercilessly against his chest as Eloise rocked her hips at a determined pace.
In that moment, Phillip swore he had witnessed something sacred before him. Eloise was a sight to see, something religious or otherworldly. She was a goddess.
Her chestnut brown hair glowed in the sunlight– wild and messy, as it swayed with every move. Her eyes shut tight, relishing the feeling of his cock inside her. Cheeks flushed, lips parted, let out the most sickening sounds he had ever heard.
Phillip lay back, taking in the sight of her through hooded eyes as his hands grasped onto her hips tightly. His breath came in jagged, pleasure taking over his body and soul– leaving him a whimpering mess.
Eloise’s grip faltered as her hands slipped up his chest, barely grasping onto his shoulders as support– she was so close. Painfully close.
Phillip’s arms wrapped around her body as he pounded up into her from below.
It wasn’t long until they both found their release. Intertwined in a sweaty mess, they tried to ground themselves back in reality.
After a few minutes of lying blissfully in each other's arms, the sound of Penelope and Colin roaming around the kitchen caught Eloise’s attention.
“They must be heading out soon,” she whispered into his chest, making his skin tingle. Reminding him of Colin’s thoroughly planned ‘Penelope weekend’.
Phillip chuckled at the memory, “I guess we’ll just have to wait them out.”
They lay together in a comforting silence that, along with the feeling of his fingers through her hair, slowly coaxed her back to sleep.
The loud slam of the front door made Phillip jolt up, snatching him out of his dream. He quickly checked his messages before lying back down, “Fuck.”
“What’s wrong?” Eloise said groggily.
“It's Saturday,” he said.
“You’re saying that like it's a bad thing,” Eloise smirked.
“Saturday as in I have to get on the train by noon if I want to make it to the twins’ piano recital,” Phillip explained.
“Ah, those kinds of Saturdays,” Eloise nodded with a smile. Although he looked slightly annoyed, Eloise had seen the way Phillip’s nephews adored him on the occasional family visit, and at least to Eloise, Phillip adored them just as much.
“I need to eat, pack, and shower,” he groaned, nuzzling his face playfully in the crook of her neck.
Eloise squirmed at the ticklish sensation on her neck and chuckled, “So I guess that's my queue to head out, huh?”
“Oh, did I not mention you with me in said shower? Must have slipped my mind. How silly of me,” he said, getting out of bed before picking her up, resulting in a stream of laughs between the two as they made their way to their bathroom.
A few minutes later, Eloise leaned back breathlessly into Phillip’s chest as she let her orgasm sweep through her. The steam from the shower made it almost unbearable to breathe.
Phillip held her tightly, making sure she stood upright, “Are you okay?” He asked hoarsely, as she turned around to face him.
“Yeah, just a bit tired,” Eloise laughed as her arms draped around his neck and kissed him.
Phillip hummed into the kiss before guiding her towards the shower bench, “Come sit down.”
He kneeled in front of her, opening up her shampoo before lathering it into her hair. It was definitely a breach of some rule, yet Eloise didn’t seem to care one bit.
Eyes tightly closed, she happily leaned into his hands as he continued his work, shampooing her hair.
After they stepped out of the shower and dried off, the weight of goodbye hung heavy in the air.
“I doubt we saved any water,” Phillip said dryly, making Eloise laugh as she threw on her robe.
He opened the bathroom door, letting the cool air from the hallway mix with the steam of their shower.
“I guess this is it for now,” Eloise shrugged. “I had fun, Crane. Until next time, I suppose,” she said, leaning into the doorway of her bedroom.
“Until Monday,” he added.
“Monday, it is,” she smiled. “Safe travels.”
And with that, Eloise shut the door behind her, threw on some pajamas, and slipped into bed. What the hell was she doing? She thought as she stared a hole into the ceiling. Tossing and turning as heated memories flashed through her mind. Thoughts of their tryst flooded her mind, so much so, she could not swipe the stupid grin off her face.
She shook her head, hoping the action could cast out the memory of his touch, giving her some semblance of control. But nothing could take away the giddy feeling at the pit of her stomach.
Thinking, enough is enough, Eloise turned to plug in her phone and was greeted with a flood of messages.
Today 2:32 am
penelope: ?????
penelope: phillip????
penelope: hello???
penelope: i knew it!!!!
Today 2:43 am
penelope: hehehehe
penelope: we are soooo going to have a talk tomorrow
penelope: i need details
penelope: okay maybe not too specific but like in a general sense
penelope: okay im rambling atp goodnight 😉
Today 6:17 am
penelope: colin’s wondering where u r
penelope: i told him i heard u leave earlier
penelope: you owe me details
Eloise groaned as she tossed her phone across the carpeted room and buried her face into the plush pillow.
The muffled ding of the train stop woke Phillip out of his daze. His grip was firm on his duffel bag as he stepped off the train onto the brick platform.
“Uncle Phillip!” Yelled a girlish voice before tackling him in an embrace. Phillip looked down to find 7 year old Amanda trying her best to give a bear hug when all of a sudden Oliver came in for a hug on his other side.
“We missed you last weekend,” Oliver said.
Phillip smiled, patting their heads affectionately, “Sorry about that. My midterms were kicking my a– butt.”
“You were going to say a bad word, weren’t you?” Amanda laughed.
“No,” Phillip said with a straight face.
“Yes, you were,” Oliver added. “Look, and now your cheeks are red.”
“Alright. Alright. Let Uncle Phillip breathe,” Marina said, pulling off the twins before giving her brother-in-law a hug. “Good to have you home.”
“Good to be home,” Phillip said as he let go and turned to embrace George.
The couple, despite barely being 2-3 years older than Phillip, shared a very different life. Living in a small townhouse in Tetbury, not too far from their father’s house at Romney Hall.
It was around the end of sixth form when George and Marina found out they were expecting the twins. For any other couple in their position, it would have seemed insane to marry and settle down, yet their marriage always seemed inevitable. They had been sweethearts for as long as Phillip could remember, the only true love he had ever really seen.
So when the twins were born, it only seemed right for the two of them to settle down in a nice home and accept honest jobs under Thomas Crane’s real estate company.
Phillip sat in the back of Marina’s Ford Fiesta uncomfortably squished between the twins' booster seats as they sang along to HOT TO GO.
Weekends like these usually consisted of car karaoke, dinner (George’s treat, of course), followed by movie night.
His family had always been small growing up, so as it grew, Phillip realized how much more George and he needed from their father during their own childhood.
Later that night, as Marina tucked the twins into bed, George sat down next to Phillip on the couch.
“When was the last time you talked to Dad?” George asked.
Phillip clicked his tongue. He knew from experience that conversations relating to Thomas Crane never ended well. “I don’t know,” Phillip mumbled, stuffing another cheese puff into his mouth. “Whenever Aunt Gerdy came to town.”
“Phillip, that was two years ago,” George said, holding back a smile.
Phillip shrugged, “Never said it was recent.”
The two Crane boys sat in silence for a few beats before George started again, “You know he’s not doing well, right?”
Phillip shut his eyes, hoping he could wish away the conversation.
“Look, I understand things have always been complicated between the two of you, but–,” George started before being abruptly cut off.
“If you understood, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?” Phillip said curtly, making sure not to speak too loudly so as not to wake up the twins.
“You're right. I’m sorry,” George said, sinking back into the couch. After a few moments of silence, he turned back to Phillip, “I’m not saying you have to forgive him, but if you have something you need to say to him, you should do it soon.”
Phillip sat silently watching the movie, when Marina came back into the room, curling into George’s side.
“Think about it,” George said.
Meanwhile, back in Cambridge, Penelope and Colin opened the flat door to find Eloise slumped over on the couch, wrapped in a Snoopy-covered Christmas blanket.
“We brought you a Chinese,” Penelope said, waving around the plastic bag. All while Colin grabbed a fork and a plate for Eloise.
Eloise sat up straight, her hair resembling a bird's nest, “Yum.”
Colin placed down the plate on the coffee table before dropping down to give Penelope, who was comfortably seated on the couch, a kiss on the forehead. “I’m going to go take a quick shower before our date. Remember the reservation is at 8.”
“Got it,” Penelope smiled as her boyfriend slipped into his room. “Alright, spill.”
“There’s nothing to spill,” Eloise said, plating her food.
“Oh, really, so what were you doing in Phi—” Penelope said before being cut off.
Eloise frantically wove her hands around in the air and shushed her friend, “Alright. Alright. Keep your voice down.”
“I knew it,” Penelope giggled.
“It's just casual— Wait. What? How on earth did you know?” Eloise asked with wide eyes.
“I’m just messing with you, I didn’t. But now that I know, the little looks you two were giving each other now make sense.” Penelope smiled, looking at the reality show Eloise was watching before turning back to her friend. “Alright, I have a question— don’t hate me.”
“Never,” Eloise said, taking a bite out of her sweet and sour pork.
“Why are you so adamant about keeping things casual with Phillip?” Eloise rolled her eyes as soon as the words fell out of Penelope’s mouth. “You know he’s a good guy, and you clearly like him to an extent?” Penelope added on with a tad bit more passion than before.
“Pen, I just can’t,” Eloise said, taking a sip of her Diet Pepsi.
“What don’t you like about him?” Penelope asked, genuinely curious.
“It’s not him, I just can’t be there with anyone,” Eloise whispered. “I can’t put myself through something like that again. It’s tiring and messy, and I just can’t deal with it again. It always ends the same: you talk too much, or you make everything about yourself.”
“El,” Penelope said, grabbing her hand. “You can’t let that dictate every future relationship. Nobody thinks that of you.”
“You did,” Eloise spoke intentionally, reminded of their fight just a year ago.
Penelope looked down at her hand intertwined with Eloise’s, “You’re right, I did. And I am very sorry for making you feel that way.”
“We both said some pretty hurtful things,” Eloise said, giving her a weak smile.
“But seriously, you shouldn’t let that stop you from exploring something with Phillip. I think a talk is worth the try,” Penelope said, trying to shift the conversation back to Eloise and Phillip. “I mean, what if it turns out amazing?”
Eloise let out a playful huff. “I don’t want to explore anything. What we have going on between us is extremely new— and it’s fine as is. It’s good, and I like that it’s casual,” she confessed. “I’m not going to jeopardize it over some ‘what if’.”
“You’re right. You’re right, I’m sorry for pushing,” Penelope said, backing off the subject. “If you’re happy, then that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks,” Eloise smiled before taking another bite of her food. “I just need to protect my peace.”
“As you should,” Penelope nodded, smiling. “Before I forget, Edwina told me she would be in town next weekend, apartment hunting. You should hang out with her. Switching schools is hard. I hope she can at least find a friend in you.”
“Of course, Edwina is like family,” said Eloise.
“Who knows, maybe you could even find a roommate for the next school year,” Penelope said, picking up a chip from Eloise’s plate.
Eloise gave her a confused look.
“You know, with Colin graduating at the end of the Spring term and you starting your master’s program next fall…” Penelope said, covering her mouth as she chewed.
“Yeah,” Eloise smiled weakly. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
Penelope had shaken Eloise back to reality; by the end of the upcoming semester, Colin would be gone. Leaving it up to Eloise and Phillip to make living arrangements for her first and his last year of their master’s programs.
Sure, they could just rent out Colin’s room once he leaves, but would they still want to live with each other by then? Would their little arrangement still be going on? Or would he have grown tired of her by then?
Eloise knew she shouldn’t have been thinking of such things. Giving it more depth and attention to their situation than she’d ever want to. Their arrangement was straightforward, she said it herself, just sex.
As Monday came, Phillip knew it was time to face the music.
It was early morning, so much so that the whole house was still asleep, but Phillip sat there on the pull-out couch, hearing the song of two blackbirds fighting. His mind was a mess, overwhelming thoughts of having to face his father and whatever the hell he had just gotten himself into with Eloise.
It’s not that he wanted it to stop, of course, he wouldn’t trade it for the world, but he knew it was temporary. That at some point in time, they would either grow apart, fight, or she would just get tired of him.
There was an unlabeled deadline to their little arrangement; it was something unpredictable and unstable. In the end, Phillip knew how badly he needed certainty and stability, but he needed Eloise more.
As much as Phillip tried to maintain his composure this weekend, smiling at all the right moments, helping wherever he could, and spending time with his nephews, he could not shake the conversation he had with George from his head.
Phillip had known his father wasn’t doing well for months, but he hadn’t known the gravity of the situation until that weekend.
George was the first one to awake, slowly going down the stairs, trying not to make a sound.
“You’re up early,” George said, stepping into the kitchen and turning on the coffee maker. “Shouldn’t you be packed already?”
“No, I think I’m going to take a later train today,” Phillip said, heading over to the refrigerator.
George tilted his head, amused, “Don’t you have class today?”
“Nope. Just lab,” Phillip said in between breaths as he gulped down a glass of water. “But my supervisor said it wasn’t necessary to come in today.”
“Then what’s making you want to hang out here?” George said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Can’t I want to spend time with my big brother and his family?” Phillip said defensively, only to be given a suspicious glare from his brother. “Alright. I think I’m going to go visit dad.”
“Oh,” George said, surprised.
“Yeah,” Phillip looked down at his glass, knowing he would regret mentioning his father in just a few seconds.
“Do you want me to take you? I can drive you there if you’d like?” George offered Phillip a small smile, as if bribing a reluctant teenager to go to the school dance.
“No, I– I think it's something I have to do on my own,” Phillip stated.
George passed Phillip, putting his hand on his little brother’s shoulder in a feeble attempt at showing support, “I’d better go wake up the kids.”
Later that day, after a nice lunch with George and Marina, Phillip knew it was time to do it. To take a taxi to Romney Hall, walk up those steps, and have a brief sit-down chat with his old man.
So that’s what he did, well at least intended to do.
Phillip struggled to yank the duffel bag, which was lodged between the driver's seat and the back seat. “Dammnit,” he muttered under his breath.
Something so simple as a visit, yet it was all starting to go wrong.
Finally breaking free, he thanked the driver and made his way down the dirt road to his childhood home– a massive country home with an Italian and Greek-inspired facade.
It had come into his family’s possession a long time ago, by some Baronet ancestor with a good deal of money. Knowing the men in his family, Phillip was sure the Baronet was an asshole just like the rest of them.
He didn’t know what triggered the reaction, but as soon as he reached the first step, his body became incredibly tense. Chicken skin crept along his arms, his fingers tingling, a sign of his body going into flight mode.
All he needed to do was cross that threshold– those five steps– and then all he had to do was knock.
But every heartbeat brought back a different memory, moments in his life he had tried so hard to forget, to leave behind and lock away within this yellow bricked house. Yet, there he was about to step back in it.
So he ran.
Eloise laid in bed exhausted from her almost two hour long Comparative Politics course and her Politics of the Future course.
She tossed and turned as the exhaustion mixed with anxiety. A silly thought, really, but Eloise couldn’t shake the conversation she had with Penelope that weekend.
It was clear to her now more than ever that she had to put that distance between them. She needed to ensure no line would be crossed into any kind of relationship category.
But how on earth could she do that with Phillip – for God’s sake– he was her roommate and friend. They were walking a very fine line.
Yet as the hours went by and Colin started to cook dinner, Eloise couldn’t help but wonder where on earth Phillip was.
He wasn’t home yet, of that she was certain. But he was usually always back before noon on Mondays after visiting his nephews.
Stepping into the kitchen, Eloise was greeted by an over ambitious Colin who was nursing a beer as he checked on his Eggplant Moussaka.
“Hey, have you heard anything from Phillip?”
“What? Why would I?” Eloise said defensively.
“Geez, I was just asking,” Colin said, rolling his eyes. ”Can you shoot him a text tho? I want to know if I need to leave him leftovers or if he’s going to eat outside tonight. This moussaka looks too good, and Papa gotta eat.”
“Ew, never call yourself that again,” Eloise cringed. “Why can’t you text him?”
Colin waved around the whisk and looked offended, “I need to make sure my bechamel sauce doesn’t overcook.”
Eloise rolled her eyes, “Alright.”
After walking for what felt like hours, Phillip had made his way to the local pub, where George would take him back in the day. He sat in a dim corner nursing his fifth ale and a burger when he felt his phone buzz from inside of his jeans pocket.
Today 6:47 pm
eloise: hey colin wants to know if you’ll be back for dinner
phillip: Just Colin?
eloise: fine colin and i.
phillip: Good to know.
Phillip looked at the time, realizing that, in his spiraling, he'd lost track of time.
“Fuck,” he mumbled as he swiped back to reply to Eloise.
Today 6:49 pm
phillip: Won’t be back in time. I got caught up with something back home so I’ll be taking a later train.
phillip: I’ll be back maybe around 11ish.
Today 6:50 pm
eloise: come to my room once you do.
His fingers flexed around the tiny screen as he tried to bite back a smile. She was truly undoing him, in the most wonderful way.
Today 6:50 pm
phillip: See you then. ;)
A few hours later, Phillip found himself practically dozing off waiting for his second train; the static muffled announcement from the station's speakers forced him to collect himself. For some perfectly logical reason, the train had been delayed well over an hour, Phillip could only explain his misfortune as punishment for not going through with his plans to see his father.
Almost as if the universe was conspiring against him, Phillip noticed the phone had died before he was able to shoot Eloise a text.
It wasn’t until around half past midnight, when Phillip finally made it back to Cambridge, that the alcohol’s effects already started to wane, allowing his racing mind to make the walk home unbearable.
The weight of his bags felt heavier with each step as he walked up the stairs to their flat.
Quietly, he slipped in, noticing that all the lights were off— well, all but one. He quietly made his way over only to see that Eloise had fallen asleep waiting for him, her phone still in hand as she slept peacefully on top of her covers.
Phillip carefully placed his bags down on the hallway floor before stepping into her room and picking up the snoopy blanket she had left on her chair. He draped the blanket over her, plugged in her phone, and turned off her bedside lamp.
She had waited for him. Phillip felt his heart ache at the thought of Eloise even feeling a fraction of what he felt for her, but he knew the rules. He knew she wanted something casual.
He was so fucked.