Chapter Text
Varian is having a very, very bad day.
It all started with his morning coffee; that was just the problem. Varian hates coffee. It’s bitter and disgusting and everything he hates. However, whoever’s up there in the decided to curse with a faulty thyroid and a tendency for overwork, so he needs caffeine like a starving man needs food.
He hates social interaction, and the mere concept of Deliveroo disgusts him, so the only option is store-bought. He walked into the kitchen to hype himself up with the help of his morning portion of Froot Loops and misery and instead saw an empty box and an empty tin, both labelled with a sticky note that read, in tight, scrawled font: ‘XOXO, CAT AND KIERA’
He groaned. Loudly. God, he needed a fucking safe to stop the girls from eating his food! Although his dad was fairly well off, they lived in a small apartment complex in the centre of town, right next to their neighbour Lance and his two adopted daughters. Varian used to live in a quaint little cottage with a flowerbed and sizable garden, but when his mom died… Anyway. Not getting onto that train of thought.
He fed Ruddiger and headed back to his room to change to something more comfortable for his shift with Hugo, (Who he definitely did not think was hot, thank you.) only to be stopped by his dad in all his 6’5 security guard glory. Oh god. He hissed, trying to push past, but it was futile. Quirin looked at him with those sad eyes that only came out when he thought about Ulla, and Varian knew what they meant.
Sure enough, apparently his dad had taken it on himself to book Varian a new appointment at the new therapist in the next town over. Great. So Varian had to begrudgingly send a text to Nuru asking her to cover his shift, dragging himself over to his dad’s car to drive himself to Ingvarr.
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 Online
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪 : (7:32) okay, so hypothetically how willing would you be to cover my shift and show the new guy the ropes
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:32) absolutely not. i have astro-con.
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪 : (7:32) bitch i bought you those tickets roll over
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:32) this is a hypothetical tho right???
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (7:33) fucking dad’s making me go to therapy. pretty please??
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:33) that sucks man. anyway, let’s talk prices?
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (7:33) i’ll buy you a new eyeshadow from that place you like?? 🤔
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:33) fine. also don’t use emojis bro you look like a facebook mom
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (7:34) 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😒😒😒🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:34) stfu
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (7:34) watch out for him tho. he lk tried t flirt w me yesterday.
Nova Bean 🌠🌟: (7:34) did he try anything?? is he a sleaze?? did you hire a sleaze??
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (7:34) no, he was just flirting. be caeful tho, k? thank you so much nuru i love you byeee
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (7:35 ) you owe me.
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : *careful
The therapy sucked. It was the usual affair- her asking about his home, his dad, the works. All while carefully avoiding the landmine that was his mom. He dodged her questions best he could- being in therapy for a while, you learn how to avoid the hard questions. Her eyes crinkled with something like pity, and he hated it. He didn’t want to be pitied. He was doing fine.
He left with tears and his eyes and nearly drove his car off a bridge trying to pull into a Hardee’s. Varian bought the biggest meal he could justify buying, and sat in his car and cried. When he finished, he had unopened messages from Nuru. Sniffling, he wiped his eyes in his sleeve and picked up his phone to text her back.
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 Offline
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (10:12) how are you faring?? hope you’re okay
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (10:13) you can take the day off if you want. I can hold down the fort.
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (11:30) it’s okay. you have tickets to astrocon! thanks tho. i just need a distraction. how’s hugo?
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (11:30) you ask that like i give a shit. he’s fine. he called me a furry
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (11:30) you are tho???
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (11:31) stfu dr doofenshmirtz
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (11:31) stopp i haven’t figured out how to change my contact name back 😭wtf did you even do???
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 : (11:32) the fit :)
(Nova Bean 🌠🌟 SENT A PHOTO)
dr doofenshmirtz looking ahh 🧪: (11:32) yeah ok i see his point
Nova Bean 🌠🌟 Is Offline
He laughed, a pathetic wet laugh. God, Nuru was so nice. He wondered how she was doing with Hugo- whether he was irritating or not. Walking into the Hardee’s bathroom, he cleaned his face with cold water and tried to make it look like he hadn’t been sobbing into his car-seats. After he deemed it good enough, he drove the thirty or so odd miles to Nevermore, pulling straight into the pawn shops’ dirt lot
Striding in, he was met by the incredibly surprising image of Hugo at the counter, who had a tight customer service smile plastered on.
When he heard the little bell ring, he started the customer service tirade Varian had dumped years ago. Fuck, Nuru really knew how to make his day better.
‘Hi, welcome to Ulla’s Oddities, how can we help-’
When Hugo realised who it was, he shut his mouth with a glower. ‘Oh. It’s you.’ He snarked out.
‘Yeah.’ Varian sassed right back. ‘Your boss.’
Something flitted across Hugo’s eyes- something Varian didn’t quite like. Then it was replaced again by that smug mask.
‘You look like shit.’
In fact, that comment hit harder than it should, considering Varian had just been crying in a Hardee’s parking lot.
Hugo started a sentence, a guarded look overtaking his face when suddenly-
‘Hey, Varian, are you- ‘BAM. Nuru bust through the door, in possibly the starriest outfit Varian had ever seen. In fact, he had never seen so many stars in one place before, and Nuru routinely forced him into going stargazing.
She posed, cocking her hip. ‘So. What do we think? Not enough stars?’
At the counter, Hugo stared dumbly.
She tutted. ‘Not enough stars. I’m changing.’
Hugo remarked dryly. ‘Sparkles, I think if you wear any more stars you’re going to burn out my retinas. Permanently.’
‘I.. have to agree with Hugo on this one.’ Varian stuttered in a state of shock.
As she turned to leave, Varian heard Hugo mutter a quick ‘Should have worn a fursuit like I said.’ and Nuru turned round eyes a-blazing.
‘It. Is not. A furry convention. ‘ She glowered.
‘Hey, Nuru, what’s your fursona?’ Hugo called after her as she left.
Varian laughed. It felt good to release tension after a long day. He smiled warmly at Hugo, startled to see the blonde was almost smiling back.
‘It’s an owl, by the way. I’ve seen it.’ Varian remarked dryly.
Hugo’s smile only widened, elbowing him. His eyebrows waggled suggestively. ‘Yeah, I bet you have.’
‘Ew! Nuru? No! Anyway, do I give straight vibes to you? Because I’m not. Straight.’ He muttered, feeling the backs of his ears warm.
‘I do not think, therefore I not am.’ Hugo whispered sagely. ‘Evil Descartes.’
Varian found himself laughing even louder. Maybe his day hadn’t been so bad.