Chapter Text
“Ford, stop it.” Arthur batted his hand away from the hem of his scarf. “If you keep fiddling with it, it might move and wind up revealing all of the marks that you decided to make.” He shot him a look that said, don’t fucking test me.
Unfortunately for him, Ford couldn’t resist testing him after that.
“Well I’d rather be fiddling with something else right now but you smacked my hand away from that too.”
“We’re in public. In a nice restaurant. On our first date. Excuse me for having standards.”
“Alright. I suppose you’re excused.” Ford leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms stubbornly. “I still think the tablecloth is more than enough to hide a handy.”
“Ford,” Arthur seethed.
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
“Gladly, if you’ll let me under the table.”
“No!”
“Well I suppose I could scoot closer to you and do it in the booth, but we’d be much more exposed that way and it’d hurt my neck.”
“FORD. I AM NOT LETTING YOU SUCK MY COCK IN THIS NICE ESTABLISHMENT.”
“May I… take your… order,” the waitress asked at entirely the wrong time, gripping her pen and notepad like they were the only familiar things she could find in this strange situation she just walked into. “Um. Do you guys need a moment? Or… several?”
“NO!” Arthur clapped his hand over his mouth.
“Um. Actually, we haven’t decided what we were going to order so we would like a minute or two to discuss it. Not to have sex. Promise.” Ford glanced at Arthur who was the brightest shade of red he’d ever seen a human turn. “Oh but maybe bring him an ice cream sundae because I think he needs something to cool off. Not in a sexy way, in a panicky way.”
“I…” the waitress nodded and gave a thumbs up and tipped her head down to stare at her shoes as she walked off.
“I think that went well,” Ford said, patting Arthur’s shoulder affectionately.
Arthur mournfully spooned whipped cream into his mouth and Ford poked at the food on his plate with a fork. All of Earth’s food was bland as they had not yet discovered Spark, the best seasoning in the universe. And none of the food was brightly colored enough. The browns and tans were so unappetizing.
“Well. That was embarrassing,” Arthur finally said after a solid ten minutes of stunned silence.
“Do you want to leave? We could go somewhere else.” Ford reached over and gently grabbed Arthur’s hand.
“Eh. I’ve faced worse.” Arthur shrugged. “Embarrassment is nothing new to me. Besides, we just gave that young lady a very good story to tell her friends.”
“You’re being awfully… easy about this.” Ford glanced around nervously.
“I’m on a date with someone I’ve liked for a very long time. And, I have to say, I did have the best shag of my life just mere hours ago.” Arthur ate another spoonful of his ice cream sundae, determined to shut himself up before he encouraged Ford’s ego too much.
“In missionary?!” Ford’s eyes went wide. Arthur sputtered and shoved him in the shoulder. “No, don’t get me wrong, it was extremely good. A year and a half in the making. Our first time together was perfect and special and all that meaningful shit. But also we were both extremely hung over and if that’s the best you’ve ever had, I’m going to rock your fucking world tonight, baby.”
“Ford! No more dirty talk in the restaurant,” he hissed through his teeth.
“Mmm alright…”
“Fuck!” Arthur’s hands clenched on the steering wheel. “Ford, this- I- whAT?”
Ford chuckled sweetly and rocked the palm of his hand against Arthur’s erection again. “You were so sexy in there,” he whispered, a tinge of growl in his voice that he knew would drive Arthur mad. He was right. “God, the way you recovered from that awkward situation, the way you turned red when I teased you, the way you licked the spoon…” Ford visibly shuddered, his eyes going half-lidded.
“We’re still in the bloody lot! I’ve only just put on my seatbelt! Can you please wait until we’re home?” Arthur’s eyes squeezed shut as Ford gently traced the length of his cock through his trousers, then pulled away.
“I’m not sure if I can, but I can certainly wait to do you,” he replied smoothly.
“What does that mean?” Arthur opened his eyes and looked over to find Ford with his head tilted back and his mouth slightly open, his face relaxed. A glance down confirmed his suspicions and gave him quite a view. “Ford! People can see through the windows! Button your trousers and I’ll suck your cock when we get home.”
Ford’s eyes shot open and his mouth snapped shut. His hand stilled, but Arthur did notice the way he squeezed the base of his dick like he was trying to stop himself from coming. Then, carefully, he tucked himself back into his trousers, redid the button, and bit down on his own hand to keep himself sane.
“Ah. Good boy,” Arthur joked with a laugh, putting the car into reverse.
“Mmahhhhhhhaaaaaa ahh~!”
Arthur slammed on the brakes. He looked over to Ford again. Ford’s eyes were extremely wide with panic, but his pupils were blown out from lust. He had his hand clamped tight over his mouth and his entire face had gone red. His other hand was gripping the side of the car seat like it had personally offended him. They made eye contact for a moment and Ford’s hips involuntarily twitched.
“Oh. Alright then. Good to know.” Arthur nodded absently, feeling a little like he was dreaming. He masterfully ignored the way Ford moaned into his hand in response and instead continued to back out of the lot and drive home as fast as possible.
Arthur wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he knew he needed Ford under him. He continued to toy with the man’s red hair, gently scratching at his scalp in a way that he hoped was soothing.
He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to fuck him. He wanted to get married to him.
The charming bastard had dragged him to this shit uni party and picked a fight with an astrophysicist and now Arthur was drunk and restless and the way Ford was leaning against him on the couch was filling his head with all sorts of solutions.
“You’re a good friend, Arthur…” Ford mumbled into his jumper.
“I’m not. Friends don’t want to kiss each other,” Arthur replied bitterly, pulling his hand away and crossing his arms. “I’m a bad friend.”
“Mmm, then I suppose I’m a shitty friend, too?” Ford looked up at him, drunk, stupid, smiling, adorable.
“I wouldn’t say shitty…”
“No, no, no… cause I want to kiss you.”
“Oh! Fuck.” Arthur blinked a few times, staring off into space. Then he shook himself back into consciousness and grabbed Ford by the back of his head and quickly flung his leg over him to sit in his lap. He bent down and kissed him as hard as he could, filling it with as much passion as his drunken mouth would allow. He still wasn’t sure what he was doing or where his hands were or if Ford was touching him. He was half aware of a bright flash behind his eyelids. He ignored it and continued kissing his friend.
This is right, he thought to himself as he rocked their hips together. This is how things should be.
On his way out of the party, the host handed him a photo with a giggle. He stuck it in his pocket and stumbled home to sleep it off.
“Arthur,” Ford whined from the passenger seat.
“How are you this horny?” Arthur hurriedly turned on the air conditioning and aimed all of the fans at Ford. “We just fucked two hours ago and you only barely touched yourself just now. This is ridiculous.”
“Fuck, maybe just stop talking,” Ford panted out, eyes squeezed shut like he was in pain. “Your condescending tone is really doing it for me right now.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Ahn~ on second thought, keep going…”
“Oh my god, Ford.”
“Zark, I love it when you say my name…”
Arthur rolled his eyes and turned on the Bluetooth connection feature, quickly pressing play on the playlist Ford made for their car rides together.
Ford whimpered quietly until Arthur pulled into his driveway. Arthur turned off the car, unbuckled, and got out. He opened the door for his extremely horny boyfriend.
“Alright, get up. Get inside.”
Ford stumbled out of the car.
“Seriously. How are you so turned on right now?” Arthur rolled his eyes as he flipped through his keys to find the one to the house. “It’s almost impressive. I’ve never seen you like this before. I mean, you’re always a little bit horny, but now it looks like you’re about to cum at any moment.”
“Mmm usually need to get off a few times in a row. Else… this happens.” Ford braced himself against the wall as Arthur unlocked the front door. “Just a weird… family thing.”
“That must’ve been an embarrassing conversation with your father.” Arthur opened the door and pushed Ford inside and then up against the nearest wall.
Ford moaned, the sound knocked out of him as his back forcefully hit the wall. Then, eyes clenched shut and teeth gritted, he hissed, “Really wish you wouldn’t bring my father into this right now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this morning? I would’ve let you keep going.”
“It’s weird…”
“It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. If I could cum more than once in a row, I’d be thrilled.” Arthur kissed him softly. “Plus now I get to reward you for being so good in the car for me and not touching yourself.” He sank to his knees and unbuttoned Ford’s trousers. “And I still get to find out what I’ve been missing all these years when you, what was it… ‘rock my fucking world?’ Yeah.” He pulled out his cock and licked the tip of it delicately, smiling at the way Ford’s legs shook. Then, he wrapped his lips around the head and pushed forward, slowly taking more and more of him into his mouth.
Ford was a moaning mess, painfully close to the edge and the embarrassment of falling apart so quickly was doing wonders to make it go even quicker. Arthur pushed his hips against the wall so hard he was sure they would bruise and he couldn’t help but let out a pathetic moan.
Arthur slowly began bobbing his head and that was enough for Ford to cum, his legs shaking. Arthur sat back on his heels and wiped the drool and cum from his chin. He swallowed the rest down. “Better?”
“Much.” Ford sighed happily, then reached down and pulled Arthur to his feet. “That was incredible, my love. Now let’s get you to the bedroom. I need to show you what I can do.”
“Alright, be a good boy and fuck me senseless.” Arthur snickered.
Ford turned bright red and laughed, playfully pushing Arthur’s shoulder. “Shut the fuck up, it’s a completely normal thing to find sexy. Besides, you laugh now, but I’m really gonna fuck you senseless. You’ll never want to fuck anyone else.”
“Mmm so you plan on keeping me around that long?” Arthur leaned down and kissed his neck as he led him to the bedroom.
“Darling, when I finally find a way off of this miserable planet, you’re the only person I’m bringing along. You’re stuck with me.”
“I think I might actually like that, Ford.”
“Good. Now take off that stupid scarf, I’m going to mark up the other side next.”
“Ford!”
He was drunk again. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he kissed Ford. This always happened when they were drunk. Ford had dragged him to a club and they spent the entire time dancing with each other, Ford practically grinding against his thigh, Arthur holding him by the waist. He reflected on this as Ford led him to a second club.
For a moment it had really felt like Ford wanted him specifically, not just a random thigh to grind on. The way he moaned my name in my ear felt… real. He shut down that train of thought before it could go off the rails. Ford would’ve taken anyone.
The thought made him feel sick and dizzy. He stumbled over his feet. The ground was approaching fast.
Then, he was pressed against a wall and Ford had him by the waist.
“Mmm, next club’s not too far from here, baby,” he said, looking up at Arthur’s tearful face. “Try not to go breaking anything. You humans are so fragile…”
Arthur gripped the back of Ford’s leather jacket tightly, his hips bucking forward against Ford’s. “You… caught me… I was gonna fall and you caught me,” he swooned.
“Mhm…” Ford pressed him harder against the wall.
Arthur pulled him into a kiss, messily shoving his tongue in Ford’s mouth as Ford moaned. Arthur pulled back for air as Ford ground against him hard. Then, sharp teeth were on his neck and he could barely think as hot pleasure and pain rippled through him. Ford moaned into his neck, still rocking their hips together in a way that was starting to feel awfully dangerous to Arthur’s stamina.
“Gonna mark you up,” he whispered into Arthur’s ear, giving it a quick bite. “Everyone will know you’re mine. Even you.”
Arthur’s breathing stuttered and he clutched Ford’s jacket even harder. “Ah stop grinding on me… Gonna cum if you keep doing that… Don’t wanna cum in public…”
“No one’s around, baby… I wanna see you… bet it’s so pretty…”
“Mmmmph, Ford, please…”
Ford sighed and stepped back slightly. He continued sucking on Arthur’s neck.
“Fuck, that’s good,” Arthur sighed, holding Ford’s head in place. “Yeah. Make me yours.”
“Mine. ‘M gonna fuck you so hard tomorrow.”
“Fuck, please do…”
They continued on that way until Ford was completely satisfied with the number of hickies and bite marks he left and Arthur was glassy eyed and desperate for affection. He pulled away, nodded in the direction of the club, and they held hands as they walked.
Arthur was tight and hot and Ford could barely breathe as he rocked into him. He loved the way Arthur was whining and squirming under him, trying to rut against the mattress, but unable to with the way Ford was holding his hips. He knew he would cum too soon for it to be really good if he let him, so he held on tighter. He let go with one hand and brought it to Arthur’s hair, pulling him up by it in a way that tugged the prettiest noise he had ever heard from Arthur’s throat.
Arthur’s arms were shaking with effort to hold himself up as he fucked into him relentlessly and bit and sucked on his neck. His tongue found his ear and carefully traced the shell of it and Arthur whined with pleasure.
“Know you can cum from prostate stimulation now…” Ford sucked hard on his earlobe. “Gotta be careful with how often I hit it…”
Fuck off, Arthur wanted to say. Instead, he said, “Ohhhhhh fuuuuuuck~”
“Mmm, you’re so good for me. So responsive.” Ford let him fall back onto the bed, but held his hips up too high to grind against the mattress. “Taking it so well…”
Arthur moaned and then mumbled something into the pillow, hands clenching the blankets underneath him.
“What was that, love?” Ford bent over his back and nipped at the back of his neck.
Arthur turned his head to look over his shoulder. He gave Ford a wicked smile that made him weak. “Mmmm, I said you’re a good boy, Ford…” Arthur pushed back on his cock and rolled his hips deviously and Ford gasped and shook and sped up so much Arthur had to drop his head back down into the pillow.
“Arthur,” he gasped out. He fucked into him even harder. “Where?”
“Gonna keep going after?” Arthur once more turned weakly to look over his shoulder at Ford’s lustful gaze. Every movement was a colossal effort, but he tried his best to make it good for Ford as well.
Ford nodded, breathless and getting increasingly desperate with every roll of his hips.
“Inside’s fine then,” Arthur slurred out, hardly able to form words. “My good boy…”
Ford shuddered and came, his eyes rolling back briefly. His hips didn’t stop thrusting for a second as he recovered from the orgasm. “Zark, you’re gonna be the death of me…”
Arthur could no longer hear anything Ford was saying, his brain empty from everything except the feeling of Ford fucking his cum deeper and brushing teasingly against his prostate.
“Oh Arthur, you look so pretty right now…” Ford lovingly ran a hand through his dark curls and grinned at the way Arthur mewled in response. “Handsome. Sexy. Hottest thing in the galaxy.” He stroked down Arthur’s spine, watching his skin jump beneath his touch and his back arch to chase it. “Still so needy… even after this morning? Are you secretly an alien, too?” He clicked his tongue and leaned down once more to bite his shoulder blade, pressing his chest to Arthur’s sensitive back. “You want me to make you cum now?” He chuckled as Arthur heard that, nodded and gasped, his whole body trembling. “Alright, I can do that.” He pressed a quick kiss between Arthur’s shoulderblades and finally pushed his hips down hard against the sheets, fucking into his prostate with enough force to rhythmically bounce him.
Arthur let out a loud, growly moan as he came, violently twitching beneath him and clenching down hard enough for Ford to cum again. The second his muscles relaxed from the orgasm, he went completely boneless.
Ford shivered through the aftershocks, gently pulled out, and collapsed beside him. He carefully rolled him onto his side and wrapped his arm around his waist, spooning him tightly. “How was that,” he asked quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to a particularly nasty bite mark.
Arthur winced, then relaxed again in his arms. “Rocked m’fuckin’ w’rld,” he murmured sleepily.
“We gotta get you cleaned up, my love.” Ford nuzzled against his shoulder like a cat.
“Noooooooo,” Arthur groaned, raising a weak arm in protest, then giving up and dropping it to the bed with a bounce.
“C’mon, baby…” Ford nipped at his neck and Arthur whined. “We can take a nap afterwards.”
“Don’t wanna.”
“Arthur.”
“Too tired.”
“Arthur.”
“Sleep now.”
“Arthur.”
“Shhhhh.”
“Arthur!”
“Fine!”
After a brief and hellish experience cleaning up and taking a shower that mostly relied on Ford holding him upright on unsteady legs and listening to Ford complain about how slippery he was and that the water wasn’t hot enough and that he wasn’t getting enough water, Arthur relaxed into the clean sheets Ford had haphazardly thrown on the bed. He sighed dreamily and chuckled quietly when he felt Ford nuzzling against him again.
“I think I love you,” he said, half asleep and not really conscious.
Ford went rigid behind him. He hardly noticed, drifting off into sleep.
“I…” Ford clapped a hand over his own mouth.
When Arthur woke up, Ford was inches from his face and staring at him with his extremely wide too-blue eyes. Arthur screamed. Ford didn’t flinch, but he did narrow his eyes in annoyance. He was fully dressed and kneeling beside the bed, his chin resting on the mattress.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, FORD?”
“I THINK I LOVE YOU TOO!”
“WELL THAT’S NO EXCUSE TO- sorry what did you just say?”
“I DON’T KNOW! SHUT UP!” Ford pushed himself away from the mattress hard enough to fall backwards and slide across Arthur’s hardwood floor.
Arthur got to his feet a little too gingerly for what his legs were currently capable of, caught himself on his nightstand, and crossed the room to pull on his dressing gown as quickly as possible. He was not going to have this conversation naked. Then, he walked back over to where Ford had curled up into a ball and sat down beside him.
“Ford…”
“Go away.”
“This is my bedroom.”
“Don’t care. Go away. Come back with alcohol or leave me here to die.”
“I live here.”
“Get a new house.”
“Ford, I… I’m in love with you.”
Ford looked up hesitantly. He scanned Arthur’s face for any sign of deceit. He couldn’t find one.
“Well. That’s embarrassing for you.”
“Ford.”
“Alright. Fine.” Ford tucked his head back between his knees. Then he mumbled something into them.
“What?”
He mumbled a little louder.
“For Christ’s sake, Ford, I can’t hear you.” Arthur reached out and gently stroked his hair. “Please tell me what you’re trying to say.”
Ford looked up and leaned into Arthur’s hand, praying that Arthur wouldn’t notice. (He definitely did.) “…Say it again first.”
Arthur huffed. “I’m in love with you. Even though you’re a fucking asshole.”
“Ah. Much less sweet that time.” Ford chuckled nervously. “I… I love you too. I’m just far too sober for this.”
“We’re exactly the right amount of sober for this,” Arthur corrected. “Although my painkillers have worn off and I could do without the hangover.”
Ford blinked at him very slowly, then launched at him, knocking him on his back and catching his head with his hand right before it hit the floor. Arthur yelped but when he pressed their lips together, he calmed down. Arthur pulled him back by the shoulder.
“I think that was the first time I’ve ever seen you blink. Why are we on the floor?”
“Because I realized you’re my best friend and I’m madly in love with you.”
“Oh.” Arthur giggled and smiled up at him. He hummed happily when Ford brushed the stray hair out of his face. “You’re my best friend too. And I’m madly in love with you as well.”
Ford groaned and pressed their lips together again.
“Ford! I still have a headache! And I don’t think I can go again.”
“Oh, fine. I’ll go look for the painkillers again. When you moved them before we left, did you put them back on the counter like I asked?”
“No…”
“Oh, fuck off.”