Chapter Text
Sae has always hated wet bathmats. Very contradictory, but also true somehow. In his opinion, whatever is under his feet when he's wet is supposed to be nice and dry.
Ignoring the fact that it was his own fault the bathmat is wet now, it's truly unacceptable. He's a world class player, best of the best, cream of the crop but no, his bathmat is squishing under his toes and he wants to launch it out of the window.
Rin would add that they should set it on fire, although Sae isn't sure how much of that would be his own personal hate towards it, and how much he was just trying to keep up with Sae, like always.
Now, ideally, he should be having a real adult sit down with Rin, calm and pleasant– and ask him what the actual fuck was wrong with his messed up brain to pull that stunt by the ocean, and if he really thought doing that would make Sae cow down and accept defeat?
Well, tough luck for Rin. For someone born lucky, he sure did do his level best to throw it all away. All that talent, all those possibilities– down the fucking drain because he wasn't coddled for once.
Seriously, fuck that brat at times. This boy was more than old enough to know better by now, and he sure as hell knew better than to drag Sae into this. Drag their whole household down into the abyss along with his sorry ass.
He let Rin change in the bathroom, something about needing privacy more than Sae did. Privacy only went so far though, and Rin's runs out at the 5 minute mark unless he's taking a shower. Then, it's 15. Too generous in Sae's opinion, because if he had his way every door in this house would have been removed within the first hour.
The room – his bedroom, it seems so small now. Like a coffin, even though it's decked out, head to toe with accolades and reminders to Sae on just how his life went on. A small, dry chuckle escapes his throat, but his eyes stay blank. Such a baby, deep down. So soft and fragile, Sae feels so eager to cry and pull his own ears off in a temper tantrum. The pressure has settled in his chest, but Sae can feel it just itching for any excuse to erupt. And if it can't find one, it'll make it itself. Sae truly is a generational talent, no doubt about that anymore.
His bathroom door finally opens slightly, and Rin's slender shadow more visible than the boy himself. Like peekaboo. Sae's going to get rid of that door first, the second he gets the chance it's going to be one more gaping hole in this house.
"Rin," He snaps a bit too quickly. The shadow pulls back sliughtly and Sae pulls himself back too, just a bit. "Hey, come out now. No point hiding." Rin edges closer, but not fast enough. it's like he's trying to get Sae to hit him again, for fucks sake. He's practically begging for it at this point.
Rin toes his way out, steps as light as a feather, barely touching the floor. Like a bird begging to take flight already. Sae has to tell himself, with each movement, that Rin's still young, still too fucking stupid and soft to understand that his actions has consequences. That's the difference between the two of them, Sae knows he'll fuck all of this up and he's seen it's the only way forward. Rin just wants to throw things around it seems, just like when he was a little kid.
Sae doesn't know what he wants to do. Whether to throw Rin along with that bathmat out the window, or tuck him into bed with a warm cup of milk and a kiss on the forehead. Sometimes it's both and so, Sae does neither. Rin might think him callous, god knows Sae has made it seem that way on purpose, but that whole quote about hate being closer to love than indifference keeps on ringing true.
"I didn't actually want to do it." Rin finally says, looking at the floor. "It just happened and I–"
"Don't even try with that bullshit, got it?" Sae scoffs, crossing his arms, making sure his gaze never leaves the figure quivering in front of him. "We're both smarter than that, so don't even think you can get out of this. Infact–" He gets as close to Rin without psychically merging with him. He can't tell if his shaking is from the cold or something else. "I don't think you're going to be leaving the house for a while now."
Rin goes still, finally deigning to look into Sae's eyes. Whatever he wanted to say, to let out and argue over, it dies in Sae's throat. He can't believe that he looks away in the end. "Don't give me that look." He mutters, turning to shield his left side. "There's not going to be a part two of this nonsense, not under my watch."
"Your watch?" Rin whispers in disbelief. Like this is the biggest joke the heavens themselves have played on him. "Your fucking watch?" Sae wants to snap again, to haul this brat back to the bathroom and wash that mouth with soap. But then Rin grabs him by the collar of his newly changed shirt, pulling them only inches apart from each other.
"You really fucked me over, Sae." Rin continues, only bringing them closer. "I can't even tell you how much, and now you want to come in and play hero? Fuck you." He whispers, full of venom and finally lets go, pushing Sae far enough for him to trip just a bit. Amongst all of this, it seemed as though everyone had forgotten just what kind of monster Rin had turned himself into.
"You're still so stupid." Sae says softly, looking back at the creature heaving in front of him. and just as quickly as Rin had grabbed him, he returns the favour. His grasp finds Rin's arms like lead, pulling him down. pushing him into the bed right behind them.
Rin landed down with a soft huff forced out of his chest, tensing and muscles tightening with each passing moment. Sae caged him in, and he told himself that it was to protect Rin for once. To keep him safe, alive, not peeling his own skin off for once. He told himself that it was a shit situation, and he had no choice between this– and burying whatever was left of his brother if he left him be.
But none of that came to the surface, Sae couldn't find them reasonable enough– the moment Rin went slack in his grasp, eyes shining with what Sae realises is what that man must have seen back then. That he was in a new position now, one he would have rather stabbed himself in th throat in than ever be in.
Yet he here is, and it seems as though his grip hadn't met up with his consciousness, and it's too slow to loosen up on Rin's arms. Sae quickly stumbles back, desperation and panic pulsing through his body.
He's really messed it up this time, hasn't he? He now finally understands how much a person has to hate themselves to walk into the ocean and try to drown themselves.
"Rin…" His voice is too low for anyone other than himself to hear, but if he raises it, would it all go to hell? "Rin, listen to me, okay? I didn't mean to do that, I swear, you've got to believe me–"
The dead little thing on the bed rises from the grave, still and unblinking. Sae keeps his hands up, trying to show Rin he won't ever pull that shit again, to treat him like a fawn that's been shot and is bleeding out in Sae's childhood bedroom.
Rin's always been quick, too eager to slip out of people's grips, and he shows it now better than ever in the past 16 years. Sae only blinks, still pleading shakily with each worthless explanation, when Rin shifts his weight to the right and just as another plea comes out, of Sae's pathetic mouth, he's gone.
Footsteps quickly fade from hearing as Rin runs to his own room, locking himself in with horrible determination. Even on the pitch, Rin is technically faster than him, and Sae has never hated it as much as he does now, scrambling just as it shuts closed in his face, cutting him off, cutting every good part of him off
"Hey–I'm sorry, alright?" He nearly sobs, frantically shaking the handle. "I didn't– I didn't know that it was–" Worthless excuses from a worthless man, nonetheless, leaving Rin alone will drive him to his grave next to him. "I'll never do anything like that again, I'm so sorry Rin– I'm begging you, just open the door–"
Their mother's soft, scared voice floats next to him, and he just realities how loud he was begging. "Sae?" She steps closer, hand reaching out like he's a rabid animal. "Sae, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." He snaps, wetness in his eyes and throat. He quickly wipes at his nose, crinkling the longer she's there, near either of them. "I'm handling it, it's fine."
"Sae–"
"I said it's fine!" He yells, turning on her now, back to the wall. Even if he scared Rin just now, he can protect him too, hiding access with his own body. She flinches, stepping back out of reflex before seemingly remembering he's her child, not the other way around for once.
"What did you do?" She whispers, fear filling up her body. She looks as though she's ready to hit him for the first time in his life, but her own usual indecision always stops her from pulling through.
And just when it couldn't have possibly gotten more clustered, their father finally shows his face. Always whenever its the most entertaining for him, doesn't he? Confusion is quickly taken over by the sight in front of him, wife holding herself back for once, eldest son panting and weeping like a rabid animal and youngest, baby of their family, shut himself away in his tomb.
"Sae," He says lowly, stepping closer. "What the hell happened?"
Oh, fuck off.