Chapter Text
Three months later
Damen stepped into his apartment, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. It was quiet inside, the mid afternoon sun filling the room with light, making everything feel more airy. One of the windows were open and Damen could feel the breeze that swept in, could see the blur of green from the rustling trees, just outside.
He turned to toss his keys onto the counter, hearing the jingle they made from the impact. He watched as they slid across the marble, stopping just short of the sink. His eyes rose slightly towards the dish rack to the left of it, and he felt the grin that slowly spread across his face when he saw the bowl and spoon stacked there. He hadn’t had cereal when he left for work that morning.
Damen looked around him again, not seeing anything, or anyone, in his view. He removed his shoes and set them by the wall so as not to make additional noise and walked through his apartment, towards his bedroom.
The door was mainly closed, only slightly ajar so he could see a sliver into the room, but not wide enough that anything was clear. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind him softly before turning around.
Laurent was in his bed, his body languorously splayed across the mattress. He was on his side, his cheek pressed into the pillow, one hand just inches away from his face. His hair was fanned out across his cheek, falling into his eyes and sweeping down his shoulder. Damen could see the strands move slightly with each soft breath of air as his chest rose and fell with sleep.
The thin white sheet was pooled low on his hips, and Damen could see that all he had on was one of Damen’s V-necks. It was large enough on him that it dipped low on his shoulder, exposing his collarbone, and reached just bellow his waist. Damen could see his thighs, resting on top of each other, his legs leading into the sheet.
There was enough sunlight streaming in through the blinds to cast the bed in a dim glow, shining on his hair and his ivory skin, dusting him in gold. He looked like a dream.
Damen allowed himself a moment to just stand there and look, to take in the fact that he had this, and it was no longer just something he only let himself entertain in the dead of the night, only to wake up to an empty bed and no one’s breathing but his own.
It had been just over three months and he still wasn’t used to it. Any time he picked up the phone and heard Laurent’s voice, opened the door to see his face or came home from work to find Laurent here unannounced, it was another throb in his chest. It was another memory to add to their growing ones. It was another flashback to all the times he had to leave Laurent in the yard, or in the closet, and all the times they whispered soon. It was no longer soon. It was now.
Damen stepped up to his dresser and unbuttoned his shirt, trying to stay as silent as possible. He unpinned his badge along with everything else lining his belt and opened the top drawer, setting them down softly, sliding it shut after. He unbuckled his belt and pulled it out through the loops, unzipping his pants and sliding them down his legs. He set everything down on the chair by the closet after and looked around himself, reaching for the sweatpants crumpled on the floor that Laurent had tossed aside the previous night.
He pulled them on and left it at that, leaving his chest bare. He walked up to the mattress, lowing himself as still as he could manage, careful not to wake Laurent from his nap.
Damen settled himself in next to him and nestled into the sheets, turning onto his side and resting his head on his arm. Laurent’s face was only inches from his on the adjacent pillow, and Damen could feel his rhythmic breaths against his face.
He looked just above Laurent’s head, his eyes falling to the side table on the opposite side of the bed. On it he saw a glass of water and a book that he’d seen Laurent reading for the past few days, one that was becoming a movie that Damen wanted to see. The book was still opened to his current page, and Damen could see the gleam of gold from the watch pressed down on the inside of the spine, holding the book open.
Just to the side of it, Damen could see the lone key; the bright silver of it a stark standout from the dark wood of the table’s surface. Damen flushed as he remembered the nerves he had felt when he had given Laurent a key to his apartment in the week following his release, fumbling through his words that he wasn’t asking him to move in if he didn’t want to, and that it was his to come and go as he pleased. Laurent had simply stared at it in Damen’s palm for a few seconds before taking it in his own, pulling Damen in for a kiss after.
As of now, they didn’t live together, technically. Damen knew that it was important for Laurent to be as much as a permanent figure as he could in Nicaise’s life, and he was working on building a relationship with his aunt Vannes who he hadn’t seen much of since he was a child. Damen had met her a few times, and he instantly took a liking to her. She was a bit forward and vivacious, but she had a good heart. She had stepped up and taken care of Nicaise when no one else could, and Damen loved her for that alone.
However, that did nothing to affect the amount of time they spent together when Damen wasn’t working. Laurent spent most of his nights here, and although he was cautious about it first, he would now show up at random times, sometimes giving Damen a heads up, sometimes surprising him.
Damen closed his eyes and thought of some of his favorites. There was the time he had come home to the comforting smells of cooking, Laurent in the kitchen in Damen’s boxers and nothing else. There was the time he had come home from work to find Laurent in his shower, the bathroom door wide open, Damen fully aware that Laurent was privy to when he got back every night. There were the mornings where Damen had gone to sleep alone the night before, and woke up unexpectedly to Laurent beside him. Sometimes he sat there and waited for Damen to wake up on his own, sometimes he woke him with soft kisses and touches.
Damen opened his eyes now and looked at him, his heart feeling weak in his chest. He had learned so many little, insignificant things about Laurent in their time together, just from sleeping next to him. He now knew how Laurent slept, on his side, often curled into Damen’s chest. He knew the quiet sounds he made, soft and full of sleepy pleasure. He knew the way he woke up, his eyes blinking drowsily until he became aware of his surroundings.
Unable to hold himself anymore, Damen reached a hand out and brushed the strands of hair out of Laurent’s face, cupping his cheek after. He felt Laurent twitch in his hold, mindlessly nuzzling into Damen’s hand. Damen brushed his cheekbone with his thumb and kept his eyes on Laurent’s, watching as his eyelashes fluttered open, looking at Damen through hooded lids.
Damen smiled softly, feeling a tug at his heart. “Hi,” he whispered.
Laurent blinked a few times as he let out a low yawn, pressing his face into the pillow as he did. He inched in closer to Damen after and Damen lifted his arm slightly, his whole body warm as Laurent settled against him.
“Sorry I woke you,” Damen said into his ear, kissing his hair.
Laurent shook his head minutely, his arm going to wrap around Damen’s side. “It’s fine,” he said, his eyes still squinty from sleep. He kissed Damen on the neck and then tilted his head up to look at him, both of them on the same pillow now.
“Why are you home early?” he mumbled, his voice drowsy and soft. Damen’s heart moved in his chest from the word home.
Damen ran his hand down Laurent’s side, reaching the bottom of his shirt. He slipped his palm in, his fingers trailing Laurent’s back, just above the waistband of his boxers. “I missed you.”
Laurent laughed softly, an amused breath of air against Damen’s chest, but he leaned his head up and kissed him again, this time bellow the chin. He wrapped both arms against Damen then and settled in against his body, their legs tangling, his chest fitting perfectly against Damen’s.
“How was work?” he asked, his lips brushing Damen’s skin as he spoke.
“Good,” Damen replied, his hand sweeping along Laurent’s spine. “Tiring. The yard was boring without you.”
Laurent laughed again, his legs shifting so they were better wedged between Damen’s thighs. “You say that every day.”
“I mean it every day,” he said as he pecked him on the nose, just at the tip,
Laurent exhaled slowly, his fingers making shapeless patterns on Damen’s back. “How’s Lazar?” he asked.
“He’s good,” Damen said. “He sends his love.”
Laurent pursed his lips, his fingers stalling for a moment before continuing. “I miss him, sometimes,” he said quietly.
Damen smiled. “I’ll let him know.”
Laurent narrowed his eyes. “You will not,” he said, to which Damen’s smile only grew.
Damen lifted his arm from the pillow and propped himself up on his elbow, leaning his cheek on his palm. Laurent mirrored his position so they were both on their sides, looking at each other. Given that Damen had longer arms, Laurent still had to tilt his head up slightly to meet Damen’s eyes.
“When did you get here?” Damen asked.
Laurent shrugged, rubbing his eye with the hand he wasn’t holding himself up with. His hair was mussed, the lines in his face still soft from sleep.
“I got out of class at ten,” he said. “I went for a jog after. Some time after that.”
Damen nodded. Laurent had started taking a creative writing class at a community college nearby twice a week. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, and he wasn’t sure if anything would come of it, but he had wanted something to fill his time until he had adjusted and he said he missed learning new things, stimulating the brain, which Damen could understand.
Laurent let his elbow give out so he fell back down on his pillow, his hair fanned out by the sides of his head. Damen remained as he was, staying still as Laurent reached his hand out, his fingers trailing Damen’s face.
He ran a finger along Damen’s chin, grazing the line of his jaw. His eyes followed the path it created as he swept up his cheekbones, smoothing down his brow. Neither of them said anything as he pushed his hair back from his forehead, running his hand through, the curls tousling further as Laurent settled his hand on his nape.
Damen shifted in closer to Laurent’s body, close enough now that he felt his body heat radiating against him. Laurent’s fingers were moving slowly, rubbing at the muscles that tensed up in his neck every day. Damen felt like his limbs softened slowly, chills running down his back as Laurent worked into his skin.
Damen closed his eyes, sighing when Laurent’s fingers tightened around him. Damen felt his skin warm further as he gave himself over to the sensation of Laurent’s touch, as he grew more aware of their close proximity.
He felt Laurent tug at his neck then, pulling Damen into him. Damen lowered his hand so he was leaning over Laurent now, his weight braced on his forearm. Laurent blinked up at him, his eyes bright and happy.
Damen dipped his head into the spot between Laurent’s neck and shoulder, nuzzling his nose in, pressing soft, slow kisses along his shoulder blade. He heard Laurent make a soft sound as he tilted his head to the side slightly, giving Damen more skin to explore.
Damen pressed his lips up his neck, letting them linger just bellow his ear, his tongue circling the softness of his lobe. He kissed the corner of his mouth, the bridge of his nose, between his brows.
“Is this why you came home?” Laurent mumbled, his voice low and lethargic like he was still half in a dream.
Damen buried his face back in the spot by Laurent’s neck, feeling the soft strands of his hair against his cheek, his pulse pounding rapidly.
He brought his hands under Laurent’s waist, loving the way Laurent felt between his arms, the mattress soft and the sheets cool beneath them. Laurent turned his head so he was looking at Damen, the blue of his eyes the only thing properly in focus from how close they were.
“I really missed you,” Damen muttered back, tracing the bottom of Laurent’s lip with his tongue. He felt Laurent part his lips slightly, shifting his face in closer so their lips could better press together. Damen’s grip tightened on his shirt, his fingers digging in. “I really like you in my clothes,” he said against his mouth, unable to control himself from pressing his body in even closer.
Laurent kissed him then, his lips taking Damen’s slowly as he used his hold on Damen’s neck to pull him in tighter. He arched his body slightly, just enough for their bodies to press together in a way that made Damen moan into Laurent’s mouth, kissing him back with equal force.
He felt Laurent’s hands lower so they reached his middle, his thumbs digging into Damen’s hipbones. “You’ll like me even better out of them,” he said before he took Damen’s lip between his teeth.
Damen pushed off the mattress and rolled swiftly so he was properly looming over Laurent, their bodies now aligned. Damen’s legs were on either side of Laurent’s, his hands braced on the sides of his face. Laurent grinned up at him, his finger tracing the line of Damen’s bicep. “That was easy.”
Damen rolled his hips once, relishing in the sight of Laurent briefly shutting his eyes. “Like you actually need to seduce me,” he said back, pressing his hips in again.
Laurent groaned, the sound sending a bolt of heat through Damen’s stomach. Laurent was slowly becoming more comfortable with being vocal, and each one of his sighs and whimpers always felt like an accomplishment for Damen. All he wanted was for Laurent to feel good with him. He never wanted him to feel self conscious with his pleasure.
Damen brought his hands to the bottom of Laurent’s shirt and tugged slowly, Laurent lifting his hands so Damen could slip it off with ease. It caught by his head for a moment, tangling by his chin. When Damen got it off, Laurent’s hair had become even more tousled, partly matted, partly splayed out around him.
Laurent reached his hand out, angling to pull Damen into him but Damen caught his hand, pressing it into the mattress. Laurent raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing, just remained flat on his back as Damen straddled him, looking down at all that was before him.
He was beautiful. He was always devastatingly beautiful, but there was something about seeing him like his, half undressed in Damen’s bed, his body languid and relaxed as he gazed up at Damen lazily beneath his golden lashes, almost daringly. He was just as Damen had imagined he would look, had dreamt he would look, back when he had thought all they could have were dreams.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” Damen whispered, brushing a hand on Laurent’s cheek.
Laurent flushed, smiling shyly, not even trying to hide the reaction. He took Damen’s hand in his and kissed his fingers once, pulling at him after. “Well?” he said.
Damen smiled. “Do you want something?”
Laurent’s lips curved. “Did you think my nap was so I could have energy for a conversation?”
Damen didn’t know what flashed on his face from that, but it was enough for Laurent’s cheeks to stretch in a smile, laughing softly as Damen stayed speechless.
“Come here,” Laurent said around his laughter, both of his hands on Damen’s cheeks, pulling him down.
Damen kissed him slowly, lazily, the way he knew Laurent liked. He kissed him with familiarity, familiarity that time has given them. Time to be together, time to explore each other, time to find out the things that made the other feel good that no one else had ever done for them.
Damen pulled away from Laurent slowly, feeling the way their lips slipped apart. Laurent’s lips were wet and reddened, slightly parted, the blue in his eyes significantly darker. Damen kissed him once more on the lips, giving himself one last taste before he lowered himself, his thoughts only on lavishing this attention all over Laurent’s body, in ways he never could before.
Laurent’s had a hand on Damen’s cheek, cupping Damen’s face as he kissed down his neck, across his chest, along his smooth, soft skin. Damen felt Laurent’s chest rise and fall off the bed as Damen’s lips swept against him, arching towards Damen’s mouth, sighing with each deliberate, unhurried press of lips.
“You need to shave,” Laurent said, not able to betray how breathless he already was.
Damen smiled against him, letting his lips linger even slower on him. “You like my scruff,” he replied, feeling Laurent’s shiver as ran his tongue out, along the dips and curves of his abdomen.
He brought his mouth up again, his tongue laving around his pink, puckered nipple. He circled there for a moment, taking his time, enjoying the way he felt Laurent squirm beneath him before closing his mouth over him, grazing him with his teeth.
Damen ran his hands down Laurent’s body slowly, feeling his body move against the mattress as Damen’s fingers trailed him. He settled on Laurent’s thighs, pushing them apart, rubbing him slowly.
“You especially like it here,” Damen whispered, lifting his head now so he could look at Laurent. At the way his chest was flushed, rising and falling from his unsteady breathing. He moved up Laurent’s body, kissing him on the lips again, feeling Laurent pant against his mouth as he massaged the inside of his thighs in both hands.
Laurent’s hands wound around Damen’s neck, circling around him and pulling him in close. He lifted a leg around Damen, pressing the heel of his foot into Damen’s backside, pushing at the material of his sweatpants.
“Off.”
Damen lifted himself onto his knees, bringing his hands to the waistband of his pants, ready to yank them off. Before he could manage Laurent’s hands joined his, curling into the sides, tugging down.
He took Damen’s boxers down with them as well and Damen shifted his body gracelessly, kicking his legs out and pushing until both were off, discarded mindlessly to the floor by the bed.
Damen held himself naked above Laurent, his eyes hungrily moving down his body and onto the visible bulge he could see in his underwear. Before Damen could do anything about it Laurent braced a hand on Damen’s shoulder and pushed, turning everything upside down for a moment as Damen was rolled onto his back, Laurent now confidently on top of him.
Damen felt the unmistakable flair of arousal at that, at the feeling of Laurent moving him around. His hands found their way to Laurent’s waist, his grip tightening helplessly as Laurent brought their lips back together.
They kissed for what could have been minutes, or maybe just seconds. Damen never had any concept of time when he and Laurent were together anymore. He no longer needed to.
He felt Laurent move against him once, twice, and the shot of heat he felt from that was enough to turn them over again, Damen back on top of Laurent, pulling his underwear off desperately. Laurent lifted his hips, making it easier for Damen to pull it down his legs, thrown to the same direction as his.
Damen’s chest was heaving, his heart pounding as he looked at Laurent beneath him, his hands at his sides, his hair entirely untamed, some of the strands stuck to his face. He ran a hand appreciatively down Laurent’s front, smoothing over his side, gripping at his hip.
“You’re beautiful,” Damen breathed, both of his hands trailing Laurent’s body now. He wanted to touch him like this forever. “Beautiful.”
Laurent lowered his fingers from Damen’s shoulders, running down his arms until he reached Damen’s wrists, grasping them in his hands.
“Touch me somewhere useful.”
Damen silenced him with his mouth, feeling his pulse speed up and his entire body flush with hot pleasure when Laurent’s lips parted against his, his tongue tracing Damen’s lip, slipping into his mouth.
Damen’s hands were moving down Laurent’s back now, the muscles strong and taught. He reached bellow his hips and groaned against Laurent as he palmed his ass, his fingers splayed out against him, holding him tightly. Laurent moaned into Damen’s mouth, the vibration against his lips and the sound in his ears causing Damen to begin to move against Laurent, his mouth’s presses growing quicker and sloppier.
Laurent braced his hands on either side of himself, palms pressed into the mattress, breaking the kiss off breathlessly. Damen reared back slightly to see what he was doing, and his throat suddenly felt very tight as Laurent turned over in one quick, fluid movement. Instead of remaining on his stomach he lifted himself just slightly up on his knees, baring himself to Damen’s eyes.
Damen swallowed, feeling again some odd sense of unworthiness, like he didn’t deserve this amazing person in front of him, but that wasn’t true. They deserved each other.
Damen’s hands were on Laurent’s sides, rubbing him softly as he lowered himself over Laurent, his chest pressed into his back. Laurent made a soft sound of content as he pressed himself back into Damen’s front, rubbing against him rhythmically. Damen’s head fell down on Laurent’s shoulder and he just stayed there, breathing into Laurent’s neck as Laurent moved against him.
Damen brushed his hair aside, watching as the golden tendrils fell passed his shoulder and onto the pillow, revealing his long, graceful neck to Damen. Damen kissed him there, spreading his lips out and sucking down gently on the sensitive skin as he wrapped his arms around Laurent’s body, holding him firmly as he moved with him.
Damen broke off just long enough to reach over to the side table, pulling the drawer open and fumbling around until he felt a condom and bottle of lube. He moved back over him at once, Laurent sighing sweetly as Damen’s weight returned to his back.
Damen kissed at Laurent’s nape, the dip by his shoulder, down his back. His longer curls brushed against Laurent’s skin as he created a path down his spine, hips lips never moving back between each kiss so they brushed against him, causing chills to break out over Laurent’s body.
Damen cracked the bottle open then, pouring some onto his hand and coating his fingers generously. Laurent looked over his shoulder as he did, his eyes hot and sharp on Damen’s. Damen felt his heart stutter, just as he ran a palm down Laurent’s thigh.
“I love you,” he mouthed, smiling helplessly when Laurent’s cheeks colored.
Laurent said nothing, his lip now between his teeth as he watched Damen press a quick kiss to his tailbone, right before he slid one finger in.
Laurent’s eyes fell shut, his eyelashes sweeping down but he didn’t make any protests, no sign of discomfort on his face. Damen noticed him bite down harder but he nodded at Damen, prodding him to begin moving his finger slowly, steadily.
The pink in Laurent’s cheeks spread down his neck, his chest slowly flushing as his lashes fluttered, opening again, his eyes back on Damen’s, albeit a little hooded. He nodded his head again, shifting his body now so he was moving his hips against Damen’s hand, pressing him in even deeper.
“More,” Laurent said, the daze in his voice making Damen feel lightheaded. Damen brought his other finger in, rubbing around the edge slowly before pushing in, feeling Laurent, tight and hot around him.
Laurent breathed in sharply, his head falling so it was hanging down between his shoulder blades, his hair spread around him like a curtain. Damen couldn’t see his face like this but he saw the way his hands were grasping the sheets, gripping them tightly as he moved back against Damen, meeting every push.
Damen leaned over Laurent’s body, aligning them so his chest was flush with Laurent’s back, his fingers still moving inside him, spreading him, stretching him.
Damen brought his free hand to Laurent’s face, touching him softly on the chin and turning Laurent’s face to his. He kissed him then, matching the movement of their lips with his hand, feeling Laurent shift against him, kissing him back with equal fervor.
Damen wasn’t sure how many times he and Laurent had made love at this point, how many times they had moved together, losing themselves in each other for endless stretches of time until they collapsed breathlessly in each others arms. However, each time, Laurent opened himself to Damen a little more. Each time he became a little bolder, a bit more confident in taking what he wanted, in allowing himself to feel all the pleasure he deserved.
“I’m ready,” Laurent said, his lips brushing Damen’s as he spoke.
Damen took his bottom lip between his, sucking on it slowly before pressing his forehead to Laurent’s, breathing against him in shallow pants.
“I’m never rushing us again,” he said, curving his fingers in a way that made Laurent’s lips fall open, his eyes wide.
Laurent pressed his lips back against Damen, the move forceful and dominating in a way that made Damen’s cock throb. “No one said we have to rush,” he whispered against Damen’s mouth, his teeth then grazing Damen’s jaw.
Damen’s movements stilled altogether as he felt Laurent bite down on him softly, the feeling sharp on his overheated skin. He let himself feel it, simply feel Laurent kiss him, touch him the way he wanted.
Eventually Damen pulled his fingers out, his hands going back to Laurent’s body, turning him over so he was on his back, his legs spread out beneath him.
“Like this,” Damen said, crawling forward so he was on all fours, looming over Laurent.
He saw Laurent reach to the side for something, and by the time Damen had registered the sound of plastic being torn, Laurent’s hands were already on him, rolling the condom down his hard, aching cock.
Damen shut his eyes, breathing out slowly as he felt Laurent touch him, slicking him in slow, purposeful strokes. He began to move against Laurent helplessly, thrusting into his fist, soft grunts that he only half heard leaving him.
“Laurent,” he panted, just as he felt Laurent align him at his entrance.
He felt Laurent’s fingers at his chin, sweeping softly, prompting Damen to open his eyes slowly.
“Look at me,” Laurent whispered, mirroring what Damen had told him their first time, three long months ago.
Damen lowered his head, resting his forehead against Laurent’s so all he could see was the deep blue of his eyes, all he could feel was his soft, full lips as he slid inside Laurent’s body.
Laurent took him slowly, his legs spreading more with each inward press. He had one hand pushed in Damen’s hair, one hand wound around his back, griping his shoulder as Damen pressed all the way in, their hips now pressed together.
Damen felt nothing else, thought of nothing else. All he could focus on was Laurent’s arms around him, his lips on him, the unexplainable sensation of feeling him clenched around him.
Damen pressed his face into his neck, giving himself wholly up to this feeling. He wanted to move, wanted them to move together, and he forced himself to wait.
As if reading his thoughts Laurent brushed a hand through Damen’s hair, tightening at the back of his neck. “I love how you feel,” he whispered into Damen’s ear, kissing the soft skin behind it after.
Damen pushed himself up on his arms, keeping his face close enough that they could see each other properly. He rolled his body once, pressing his hips into Laurent’s, grinning when Laurent cursed under his breath.
“Move,” Laurent said.
Damen began a steady pace, feeling the drag and pull against him as he pushed forward, moving against Laurent smoothly and with no rush. Laurent exhaled slowly, his nails biting into Damen’s shoulder as he began to move his own hips, pushing himself up to meet Damen’s movement, his feet braced in the mattress.
“Laurent,” Damen said breathlessly, feeling his heart bang against his chest painfully as he moved, each thrust bringing him a little closer to Laurent.
Laurent licked his lips in reply, his eyes shutting as he moved with Damen, their chests rubbing with each push, flush and hot against each other. His lips were glistening, his chest flushed, the slowly setting sun casting him in a dimming, golden glow. He looked ethereal.
Laurent brought one leg up, wrapping it around Damen’s waist, digging into his back, pushing Damen in even further. Damen reached for his other leg and propped it up against his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to his ankle, to the arch of his heel.
The shift in position spread Laurent out differently, causing Damen to slide in even further. They both moaned at the feeling, Laurent’s leg tightening around Damen. Damen brought his hands up the mattress until they found Laurent’s, lacing their fingers together, pushing them down into the bedding.
Damen wasn’t sure how long they moved together like that, clutching at each others hands, each push stronger than the last. Damen’s mind turned into a series of fractured thoughts. Laurent whispering his name, his fingers digging into Damen’s. The sensation of Laurent around him, the feeling more intense than anything Damen had ever felt before. The sounds of their breathing, mingling between them, panting into each other’s mouth. The fact that they could do this, could have this, for as long as they wanted.
Damen felt the tightening in his body, felt the pooling warmth in his stomach as he drew closer to the inevitable end. He wanted it, wanted to come inside Laurent, and he wanted Laurent to reach his peek with him. He released one of Laurent’s hands and wrapped a hand around his cock, thumbing the slit before sliding his hand down, stroking him in time with the rhythmic movement of their hips.
“I love you,” Damen said, wishing he could make Laurent understand just how much.
Laurent made a hitched sound at that, his hands squeezing Damen’s almost painfully. He shuddered, his cock pulsing and then he was coming against his stomach, his leg falling off of Damen’s waist and onto the mattress as he breathed heavily, Damen’s name on his lips.
Damen thrust inside him once more, twice, and it was when Laurent opened his eyes, the blissful look in them, the soft lines around his lips that Damen was joining him, murmuring Laurent’s name in his ear as he came inside him.
He didn’t know how long he remained that way after. At some point he had fallen onto Laurent, his face pressed against him as he kissed slow, drowsy kisses against his chest. Laurent was gazing down at him, running his hand through Damen’s sweat damp hair, pushing it off his forehead. Damen propped his chin up on Laurent’s chest and smiled at him, trying to remember the last time he felt this carelessly happy.
Laurent traced the smile on Damen’s lips, his thumb soft against his cupids bow. Damen kissed the soft pad of the skin, and Laurent smiled back at him.
“I love you too.”
Damen was in the kitchen, pulling everything he needed out of the fridge. Nicaise was coming over for dinner that night, something he usually did at least once a week. He still acted pretty hostile with Damen, throwing insults his way left and right, but Laurent just smiled each time and said he couldn’t believe how much Nicaise liked him. Damen stopped trying to figure him out weeks ago.
Nicaise was a picky eater, not liking anything too seasoned or too complex. Damen tended to stick with simpler things when he was over, like pastas or pizzas. However, Laurent had been craving meat that day, so Damen had decided to barbeque.
Damen had just finished seasoning the mix of vegetables and was sliding the tray into the oven when Laurent walked out of the bedroom, He was in light jeans, his bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor, a sliver of his stomach exposed as he slipped on a white T-shirt. He pulled his hair out of the collar as he stepped into the kitchen, leaning on the pantry across from the fridge.
“What time is your aunt dropping Nicaise off?” Damen asked as he opened the freezer, pulling out a pack of steaks and hot dogs. He gave Laurent’s shoulder a light nudge for him to step aside, taking the salt and pepper out when he did.
Laurent pulled his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking the screen as he hefted himself up on the counter.
“He should be here soon,” he said, setting the phone down next to him. He settled himself in then, leaning his weight back on his hands, his head tipped back on a cupboard.
Damen observed his comfortable stance with amusement, already used to Laurent taking up this spot whenever Damen cooked. “You could help me you know.”
Laurent shrugged, reaching for a baby carrot. “I could,” he said, chewing slowly.
Damen took the rest of the carrot out of Laurent’s hand and popped it in his own mouth, smiling around the mouthful when Laurent kicked at him. He separated Laurent’s legs slightly and stepped between his thighs, setting his hands on either side of him on the counter.
Laurent raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly as Damen nestled his body in closer. “Don’t you have things you should be doing?” he asked, but he set his hands on Damen’s shoulders as he did.
Damen leaned his head into Laurent’s front, pressing his head into the crook between his neck and his shoulder, inhaling slowly. “You smell good,” he mumbled, pressing his lips there after.
He felt Laurent’s chest shake slightly with light laughter, and the feeling made Damen smile. He straightened himself out, looking at Laurent openly. Damen was still slightly taller than him, even with Laurent sitting on the relatively high counter. He ran a knuckle out against his cheek, cupping his chin in his hand after. He loved the feel of it, his jaw strong and sharp in his hold.
Damen kissed him softly, the touch barely a suggestion of itself. Laurent’s lips brushed against his, his light breaths hitting Damen’s lips harder than his mouth was. Damen kept it slow, lazy, his entire body buzzing with the feeling of restraint, with the titillating thoughts of what this delayed gratification would lead to later on.
Laurent made the softest sound against him, a sigh that Damen felt on his lips. Rather than deepen the kiss he slowed down even further, each drag of their lips ever more pronounced, each one of their mingling breaths filling his chest with a light feeling that he hoped he would never get used to.
Damen pulled back just as he felt Laurent’s lips part, grinning when he saw the irritation in Laurent’s eyes. He leaned forward and pecked him once more on the lips before turning back around, reaching for the knife to cut open the pack of hot dogs.
“Are you staying over tonight?” Damen asked over his shoulder, cutting a straight line across the plastic.
“I can,” Laurent replied. “I have to meet with my parole officer in the morning, so I might as well just wake up with you from your alarm.”
Damen nodded, going back in the fridge. He moved a few things around and pulled a can of beer out, shutting the door with his hip as he cracked it open. He took a long sip and then held it out to Laurent in offering, tilting it his way. Laurent took the can from Damen and took a small sip, licking his lips after. Laurent didn’t drink much, rarely ever, but he occasionally had a glass of wine or shared Damen’s drinks with him.
The doorbell rang just as Damen took the can back from him, prompting Laurent to hop off the counter and make for the door to let Nicaise in. Damen pulled open the oven slightly to give the vegetables a quick toss before shutting it back, looking over his shoulder as Laurent opened the door. He watched the way Laurent walked around the apartment with ease, like it was his home as well, simply an extension of himself. It made him think of the first time Laurent had been over.
They hadn’t seen each other for a few days after Laurent’s release. Damen wanted to be with him for every moment of it, he wanted to bring him home and take him out immediately, and just be with him when he experienced his first moments of freedom. However, Damen knew it was an adjustment, one he couldn’t even pretend to understand unless he lived it himself. Something told him that Laurent wanted to do this alone, if only to prove to himself that he could, and when Laurent didn’t press it, he knew that he was right.
Damen remembered the last conversation that they had had in the supply closet, the last day before he was released. He had pulled out the small, folded up piece of paper with his address and cellphone number on it and handed it to Laurent, closing his fingers around it.
“Take however long you need,” he had said. “Or as little. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you.”
And that was that. Laurent had slipped the paper into his pocket and reached for Damen’s neck, pulling him into him, bringing their lips together. They said their goodbyes, and left the closet behind them for good.
There was nothing from him on the first night, not even a text message. Damen reminded himself that it was Laurent’s first night back in his home, his first night back with his brother. He slept that night with thoughts of Laurent somewhere warm. Somewhere loved. Somewhere safe.
The next night there was still nothing, until he stepped out of the shower to hear the ending tunes of his ringtone. He nearly slipped on the wet floor as he ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, answering on the final ring.
He wasn’t sure if it was his overly loud “hello?” or the breathlessness of his voice, but it resulted in Laurent’s laugh being the first thing Damen ever heard from him over the phone, and after that everything was okay.
They spoke for hours that night, longer than they had ever been allowed in one shot. Damen wasn’t even sure what they talked about, or if it was of any substance. Laying down in his bed and hearing Laurent’s voice in his ear was almost the same as having him there with him, and it was enough to hold Damen over until he had the real thing.
Damen had only gotten twenty seconds into the call before telling Laurent he missed him, and the last thing Laurent told Damen hours later before he hung up was that he loved him. Damen was sure he fell asleep smiling.
The next morning Damen woke up to see a text from Laurent, and it was so casual, so normal, and Damen couldn’t believe they could finally have these simple parts of a relationship that other couples took for granted every day.
Laurent had mentioned in the text that he had a few things to get done that day, but he could see Damen that night if he wanted. Damen immediately texted him back that he would call him on the way home from work, and they could talk then.
Damen had spent the whole day obsessing over what they would do that night. He weighed all the options, all the different places he could take Laurent, all the places he wanted to show him. Ultimately though, he decided against them all. It was their first night together, their first night to do whatever they wanted, and all Damen wanted was to be with Laurent, just the two of them, for as long as they wanted, uninterrupted.
Laurent had showed up an hour after Damen had gotten home, dressed in dark wash jeans and a simple navy sweater, the sleeves pushed up to his forearms. It was the first time Damen saw him in anything other than his prison uniform. It was simple, it was his, and it was beautiful.
Laurent stepped in, looking around the apartment with his hands casually pushed in his pockets. Damen leaned against the wall and watched Laurent take everything in, watched Laurent simply be in front of him, here, in his home. He waited, staying silent until Laurent stepped up in front of him.
“Well?” he asked.
Laurent lifted a shoulder. “Boring, like I expected.”
Damen smiled, and then his hands were around Laurent’s waist, pulling him as close as he could into himself as Laurent wound his own hands around Damen’s neck, pulling him down.
The night was simple, and sweet, and all Damen had wanted. They had ordered takeout and ate it in bed, Laurent occasionally tossing olives at Damen, most of the time missing his mouth on purpose. Afterwards when Damen had moved the empty containers out of the way, Laurent had rolled over on top of Damen, his hands moving down his chest as he took his mouth slowly.
“We don’t have to tonight,” Damen said breathlessly as the path of Laurent’s hands became clear, his own hands tightening on Laurent’s hips.
Laurent nipped at Damen’s lip, running his tongue out along it after. “You think you’re the only one who’s been thinking about this?” he mumbled against Damen’s mouth, and Damen didn’t hesitate to roll himself on top of Laurent.
Laurent had smiled at the change in position, his eyes gleaming as he took a fistful of Damen’s shirt in his hands, pulling him back down. It was all one big blur after that.
Nicaise and Laurent walked into the kitchen then, pulling Damen out of his reverie.
“What’s up, asshole?” Nicaise said, his hands loose in the pockets of his grey hoodie. His hair had grown out even more since Damen had last seen him, flopping down onto his forehead and into his eyes. Damen held out his fist which Nicaise bumped, only to slap away after like he regretted the friendly gesture. Damen felt the side of his lips quirk as he turned back to the steaks he had laid out, beginning to season his and Laurent’s liberally, going a bit lighter on Nicaise’s.
“I’m hungry,” Nicaise said.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
Nicaise stepped up next to Damen and looked as he worked, watching as he turned the steaks over and did the same to the other sides.
“I like my hot dog buns toasted,” he said.
“I know,” Damen replied. “Yours are already in the oven.”
He caught Nicaise’s smile out of his peripheral vision, right before he made his face impassive. Damen turned away so he wouldn’t show his own reaction to it and saw Laurent leaning in the entrance to the kitchen with his arms crossed, his head leaning on the doorframe. He looked at them with a light expression.
“Go start your homework,” Laurent told Nicaise. “The food will be ready quicker if you work.”
Nicaise scrunched his nose up, making a frustrated sound in the back of his throat. “I hate fractions,” he said. “They’re fucking pointless.”
“I’ll help you,” Laurent said, giving him a light shove. “Go.”
Nicaise huffed as he stepped out of the kitchen, dragging his feet as he walked to the couch in the living room, swinging his backpack off his shoulders and onto his lap. Damen flicked his eyes back to Laurent and waited for him to go sit with Nicaise, quirking a brow when he didn’t.
Laurent remained where he was, his eyes scrolling up and down Damen’s body as he flipped the steaks, his own eyes on Laurent. Just as Damen opened his mouth to ask him what he was thinking, he noticed Laurent’s cheeks go pink.
“What?” Damen asked, feeling the dopey grin on his own face, not able to help the pleased tone in his voice.
Laurent shook his head, pushing off the wall and turning towards the living room, making his way to Nicaise. Damen turned back to the sizzling meats, wondering if he would ever tire of this.
About ten minutes later most of the food was ready, the last of the hotdogs just finishing off. Damen wiped his hands on a towel mindlessly, just has his phone vibrated in his pocket. He tossed the towel over his shoulder and pulled his phone out, unlocking the screen with a swipe.
Nikoleta: Tell your hot boyfriend I miss him.
Damen smiled as he texted her back quickly, sliding the phone across the counter after. He glanced briefly at Laurent before opening the fridge for condiments, his thoughts falling back to when Laurent had first met all of his friends.
They had been in the car together, maybe two weeks or so after his release. Damen was driving, one of his hands resting on the bottom of the wheel, his other on Laurent’s knee, rubbing him lightly. Damen had been trying to get Laurent to sing along with him to the radio which mainly resulted in Damen singing horribly off key and Laurent turning the volume up even further, trying to drown out Damen’s voice and his own increasing laughter.
He received an incoming text then which he was only aware of because of the vibration. He lifted his body slightly, pulling his phone out and handing it to Laurent, momentarily lowering the music. “Read it to me,” he said.
Laurent cleared his throat to dispense of any remaining traces of laughter, typing Damen’s passcode in. He was silent for a moment, and Damen flicked his eyes to the side for a second and saw him looking down at the screen, an unreadable expression on his face. Or at least, unreadable from the few seconds Damen could spare him before he needed to return his gaze to the rode.
“What?” Damen asked. “Who is it?”
Damen heard the click of the screen being locked and Laurent dropping the phone into the cup holder between them, knocking against his bottle of water.
“Nikoleta,” he replied. “She wants you to all go to dinner for her birthday, and apparently I’m coming.”
Damen said nothing at first, keeping his eyes steadily ahead of him. This was something he’d thought about, of course. One of the negative parts of his and Laurent’s previous situation was that these two important aspects of his life would never merge. Now, technically they could, but Damen had no idea how to go about it. His friends still had no idea about Laurent, and the conversation had yet to come up between the two of them.
“You don’t have to,” Damen said carefully.
He wasn’t sure what he expected Laurent to reply, but he didn’t expect him to turn to him and say, “You don’t want me to?”
Damen frowned, the thought of that too stupid to even entertain. “Of course I want you to,” he said. “But I get it if you don’t- if you’re not-“ he looked at Laurent briefly again, surprised to see him turned now to Damen, his expression entirely calm, if not a little skeptic.
“They can be a handful,” Damen tried. He pulled into his usual parking spot, putting the car in park and turning to face Laurent as well.
Laurent had looked amused at that. “You can be a handful.”
When Damen said nothing, Laurent pulled a knee up to his chest like he used to in the yard. “Is it weird for you?” he asked.
Damen felt his eyes widen. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I couldn’t care less. I just- I don’t want it to be weird for you.”
Laurent pursed his lips, looking out the window and towards Damen’s apartment building, his arm slung over his knee. He didn’t look angry, or uncomfortable. Contemplative, if anything.
“I don’t really care,” Laurent said, turning back to him. “And two of them already know anyway, so…”
Damen smiled, unlocking the door. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Laurent said back. And that was that.
The next night they walked into the restaurant together, heading straight for the table his friends usually occupied. Damen had considered letting them all know the situation in advance, but ultimately decided to just get it all done in one shot.
They both stepped up to the table, neither of them saying anything. Damen noticed that Nikoleta still wasn’t there, late as she always was. At the table were Orlant, Jord, Rochert, Pallas and Nikandros. There were three empty seats next to Nik, and to Damen’s surprise, Laurent took the one directly next to him, dropping down wordlessly. Damen quickly followed suit, waiting for the inevitable.
Nikandros and Pallas were ironically the first two to notice, which didn’t actually make a difference being that they already knew. Nikandros rolled his eyes when he saw Laurent, barely sparing him a glance before returning his gaze to his phone, going back to his texting. Pallas simply laughed, looking back down at his menu.
The sound prompted Orlant, Rochert and Jord to look up, giving Damen a half nod of greeting when they saw him before going back to whatever they had been saying or doing. Damen saw the moment they all seemed to realize that someone else was there because they all froze for a second, a weird, simultaneous expression of confusion on their faces before looking up again. Their gaze fell either on Laurent, Damen and Laurent, or back and fourth between Damen and Laurent.
Orlant was the first to beak the silence, his deep laughter unabashedly loud in the quiet restaurant.
“What,” Jord said.
“I knew it!” Orlant said, still laughing. “Day one. I called this on day fucking one.”
Damen settled back in his chair and crosses his arms loosely, waiting for them all to get it out of their system.
Rochert was looking between Damen and Laurent, his eyes moving rapidly. “Didn’t you just get out?” he asked, but he already had a knowing smile on his face. Laurent nodded once.
Rochert laughed under his breath, looking at Damen now. “You move fast.”
“Not that fast,” Laurent said. It took a few seconds for the implications of what he was saying to settle in and when it did, Rochert joined Orlant in his laugher.
“What,” Jord repeated.
“Well,” Damen said, reaching for his menu. “Now that that’s out in the open.”
It wasn’t though. Not entirely, yet. As Damen spoke he heard a squeal, and he saw the way Laurent flinched at the high pitched sound.
“There she is,” Nikandros muttered.
“Oh my God,” Nikoleta said, somehow appearing out of nowhere. She completely ignored everyone else and stopped in front of Laurent, looking at him with wide-eyed excitement while he gazed up at her wordlessly. “Holy fuck Damen, where did you find him?”
“Prison,” Laurent said pleasantly.
Nikoleta grinned at that, teeth and all. She looked down at Nikandros and shoved at his shoulder, motioning to the side with her head. “Sit over there.”
Nik looked at the empty seat next to Damen before looking back at her incredulously. “What-”
“Move!” she said. “Go sit with your friend.”
Nik huffed as he pushed back from the table, taking his glass of water and sitting next to Damen. Damen watched as Nikoleta took Nik’s spot next to Laurent and scooted in next to him, resting her chin on her fist. Damen placed a hand on Laurent’s knee, hoping this wasn’t all too much for him at once. Laurent covered Damen’s hand with his, but otherwise didn’t react.
Damen was only half listening to everything that was being said to him, admittedly a little nervous about leaving Laurent to Nikoleta. She was amazing, but she could really be a handful.
Apparently though, he had no cause to worry. Not even five minutes had passed and they were murmuring to each other, Nikoleta letting out her infectious, mirthful laughter that only came out when someone managed to say something more effortlessly vulgar than her.
Damen smiled, giving the rest of the table his full attention now. He kept his hand where it was.
“I just want to clarify,” Jord eventually said, setting his menu down heavily. “Has this actually been happening?”
Before either of them could reply, Orlant turned to Pallas who had thus far been quiet. “On the plus side,” Orlant said, reaching for a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table, “we now know that you have Damen’s blessing to fuck that other inmate.”
Pallas opened his mouth to respond, looking slightly mortified. Before he could, Laurent spoke.
“If it helps,” he said, reaching for the pitcher of ice water. “He wants to fuck you too.”
Pallas looked ever more mortified at that, his cheeks now flushed. Rochert smiled and pointed at Laurent appreciatively, and Nik surprisingly looked calm. If Damen had had any concerns of Laurent adjusting with his friends before, it faded away then, and continued to with the rest of the night.
Damen felt a presence next to him then, once again yanking him out of his thoughts. He turned to see Laurent in the kitchen, his hip against the counter. Damen looked out into the living room and saw Nicaise on the couch with his legs crossed beneath him, reading through a thick textbook, something he could do without help. He mirrored Laurent’s casual stance, crossing his arms against his chest.
“How are fractions?” he asked.
Laurent said nothing to that. He turned to look at Nicaise for a few seconds before facing Damen again.
“He’s happy.”
Damen smiled, looking once again at Nicaise who was now tapping his pen rhythmically on the textbook, a deep frown on his face. He couldn’t have looked more annoyed.
“You think so?” he asked.
Laurent nodded, stepping closer so he could lean some of his weight on Damen. Damen slung his arm around Laurent’s shoulder, kissing the side of his head.
“You’re a good brother,” Damen said. “He loves you.”
Laurent didn’t respond, but he didn’t deny anything either, which Damen couldn’t help but smile at again.
Laurent turned his head, propping his chin on Damen’s shoulder. “And you?” he asked. “Did you decide to talk to Kastor?”
Damen blew out a breath, but he nodded his head as he did. Laurent had caught Damen looking at a picture of them from a few years back that he still had on his wall, his fingers tracing the edge of the frame. Laurent had stepped up next to him and leaned on the wall, covering Damen’s hand with his.
“Call him,” Laurent said.
Damen looked at him, not saying anything, but Laurent understood.
“If not for him, then for you,” Laurent continued. “For your peace of mind. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” when Damen still didn’t say anything Laurent squeezed his hand, pushing off the wall. “I know you want to.” And then he walked away, leaving Damen with his brother, and his memories.
“I did,” Damen said now. “My dad would have- he would have wanted us to try.”
Laurent leaned forward and kissed Damen on the cheek, leaving his face close after. “I’m proud of you.”
Damen kissed him back on the cheek, then on the chin, then full on the mouth.
“Ew,” they heard, minutes later when Damen’s hands were in his hair, Laurent’s arms around Damen’s waist. “Stop. I don’t need to see this.”
“Then don’t look,” Damen replied as he kissed Laurent once more on the forehead, but he pulled away after.
Nicaise scrunched his face up as he stepped in between them, pulling the fridge open. He pushed aside a bag of grapes and pulled out a bottle of water, kicking the door shut after. He paused, hand curved on the bottle cap as he looked at the lone picture Damen had on his fridge, slightly tilted. It was of Damen and Laurent, taken sometime a few weeks ago. Damen couldn’t even remember who had taken it, or if he even knew the person. Their arms were around each other, Laurent half in his lap. They were both pretty tipsy when it was taken, Laurent’s cheeks pink, Damen’s hair a disheveled mess. They were caught in the middle of a laugh, Laurent’s head on Damen’s shoulder, Damen’s head tossed back.
Nicaise looked at it for a few more seconds before breaking his gaze, turning to look at Damen.
“When are we eating?”
Damen picked up the bottles of ketchup and mustard, shoving them in Nicaise’s hands. “Help me set the table.”
Damen woke slowly, his eyes blinking tiredly as he rubbed his cheek into the pillow. He wasn’t too aware of his surroundings, still half asleep, stuck somewhere between dreams and consciousness. However he was aware enough to tell that it was dark in the room, having woken some time in the middle of the night.
Damen closed his eyes back and sighed deeply, feeling his breathing soften out as he slowly drifted back to sleep. He reached out just as his limbs grew heavy, feeling out for Laurent’s warm body. He patted the mattress, moving his hand around the sheets, frowning into the pillow when his hand touched nothing.
He opened his eyes, looking to see why he was so far, his frown deepening when he saw the other side of the bed was empty.
“Laurent?” he whispered, waiting to hear something, only to be returned with silence.
Damen yawned as he pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes, looking around. The sheets were rumpled by his knees, pushed to the side where Laurent usually slept. Damen looked off to the bathroom and saw that the door was open, no one inside.
He smelt it then, the acrid smell of smoke, wafting into the room. Damen rubbed his eyes again and leaned forward so he could see out onto the balcony leading out from his bedroom, the small, orange glow more noticeable in the dark.
Damen got out of bed and bent forward for his boxers, pulling them on and stepping over the rest of his discarded clothes. He ran a hand through his hair as he walked across the room, sliding the glass door open and stepping out into the cool night air.
It wasn’t unusual for Laurent to wake up in the middle of the night, his body still used to being woken up every night from the mid nights counts. Sometimes Damen would stay up with him if he happened to wake up as well, talking softly until tiredness won out. Most of the time Laurent would tell Damen to go back to sleep, pulling him into his chest and stroking his hair until he fell back asleep.
Damen walked up to the edge, leaning forward, bracing his arms on the railing beside Laurent. He stayed silent, looking out onto the wide view of the city before them.
“Did I wake you?” Laurent asked.
Damen shook his head, turning towards Laurent. He was in another one of Damen’s larger shirts, his hair pulled up messily. “How long have you been up?”
Laurent shrugged, inhaling slowly. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and blew away from Damen, tapping the ash off the ledge. “A few minutes,” he replied before taking another drag.
Laurent didn’t tell him to go back to sleep, so Damen stayed with him against the railing and watched as the smoke curled smoothly from his lips as he finished his cigarette. When Laurent was done he stubbed it out on the ashtray he kept here and turned to Damen. “Come back to bed.”
They walked back in to the room together, Damen deciding to leave the door slightly open to let a breeze into the warm room. Laurent climbed into bed first and pulled the thin sheet on top of him, waiting until Damen laid down before scooting in next to him, turning around so his back was to Damen’s chest. Damen brought his arm around Laurent’s front, kissing him on the shoulder.
“Are you tired?” Damen murmured into his ear.
Laurent nodded his head, burrowing farther back into Damen’s body. Despite the movement and the way he sunk into the sheets, he was holding himself tightly together. Damen could feel it in his arms. Damen ran a hand down his side, over his hip, along his thigh. He waited.
And waited.
And then, in the silence, he heard Laurent speak. “I’ve never thanked you,” he said, his voice small and quiet. Damen’s hand stilled for a moment before sliding back up to his waist.
“Thanked me?” Damen asked. “For what?” He placed a hand on Laurent’s shoulder and made to roll him over, but Laurent pressed his body down into the mattress, making it clear that he wanted to stay the way he was. Damen removed his hand from his shoulder and slid it down back over his chest so his arm was wrapped around him, holding Laurent close.
Laurent was silent again, his fingers wrapping around Damen’s hand as he took a deep breath.
“I don’t know when it started,” he began, his voice a murmur. “I don’t know if it was when I went to prison, or when I killed my uncle. If it was the first time he came to me, or when I found out he hurt Nicaise.” Damen felt him shake his head, his hair grazing Damen’s cheek. “Maybe it was when Auguste died, I don’t know.”
“What I do know is that at that point, I shut off. I wasn’t living anymore, I was just… existing.” He started to wiggle in Damen’s grasp and Damen lifted his arm slightly, giving him room so that Laurent could move. He pushed off his side and turned over so that he was facing Damen.
“And then I met you,” Laurent said quietly, lifting a hand to Damen’s chest. He spread his fingers slightly, and Damen could feel the way his own heart was beating against the warmth from his hand. “You came into my life, and you changed everything.”
Damen felt like his heart was in his throat, like he could choke on his emotions any minute. He moved as close as he possibly could to Laurent and placed his hand on top of his, lacing their fingers together.
Laurent closed his eyes briefly, just feeling Damen’s touch, curling his fingers in. When he opened them, they were wide and honest on Damen’s.
Damen didn’t know what to say. That wasn’t true, he knew it couldn’t be. Laurent was strong. Stronger than anyone Damen had ever met, stronger than he gave himself credit for. He had been through so much on his own, and he managed to survive it all and come out as a capable, brilliant, unbelievable person. Although he would never need to again, Damen knew he could make it the rest of his life with no one else helping him, because he was a survivor.
“It’s not just you,” Damen said. “I… It’s been the same for me.”
Laurent looked at him in disbelief, the side of his lip curled, making Damen scramble with his words, desperate to make Laurent understand.
“I mean it,” he said honestly, tightening his hold on their grasp. “I know our circumstances were different, but you, this, has changed everything,” he said. “My life before I met you, myself as a person, so much was different. I view everything so different.”
“I know I tend to see things a bit simpler, as more straightforward. I probably always will to some extent. But… it’s not always that simple. There’s so much more to a person, to the world than I once thought, and you taught me that. You taught me so much.” And he did. Laurent taught Damen that it wasn’t always so black and white, that there was color to the world. That sometimes there was darkness in some things that shouldn’t be, but in others there was unexpected beauty. Laurent had shown Damen so many things, and he hadn’t even noticed, because he wasn’t even trying. He was just being himself.
Laurent brought his other hand to Damen’s chest and began tracing the lines there. Down his shoulder, along his pectoral muscle, his fingers grazing the short hairs. His finger lingered over his piercing, something he had taken an increasing liking to over the months.
Laurent smiled, glancing up at Damen from beneath his lashes. “Is this what you expected when you started following me out to the shed every day?”
Damen nudged Laurent, eliciting a short laugh from him. “I wasn’t following you.”
Laurent pulled his hand away from Damen, bringing his arm under his head, his pose more relaxed now. “No?” he asked.
Damen wrapped one arm around his pillow, hugging it close to him. The pillowcase smelled faintly of Laurent.
“And you weren’t waiting for me?” Damen asked, his hand on the mattress between their heads.
Laurent laughed softly again. “Touché.”
He yawned then, rubbing his entire face with his hand. Damen carded his hands through his hair gently, feeling ridiculously pleased when Laurent leaned into the touch.
“Can I take you out tomorrow night?” Damen asked, brushing his thumb over Laurent’s cheekbone.
Laurent raised his eyebrows, his eyes gleaming despite the growing exhaustion. “Again?”
“What?” Damen asked. “Sick of me already?”
Laurent smiled at him, a small, tired thing. “Not yet,” he said. “But there’s still time.”
Helplessly, Damen smiled back, even as he kicked Laurent under the covers. Laurent’s smile grew, his eyes becoming droopy with sleep.
Damen put his arm over Laurent and pulled him into him, fitting his body against Damen’s so their thighs aligned, their chests touching. He thought back to their first time together in the prison, the first time he had felt Laurent’s skin against his. The night he had given him the last part of his heart.
“All we have is time,” he whispered.
Laurent brought his own arm around Damen, moving around slightly until he was comfortable against him, his cheek against his chest. He tipped his head up slightly and kissed Damen’s cheek, keeping his head there after.
There was a soft breeze coming in through the window, the curtain swaying with it, cooling their skin. Into the silence of the night, Damen spoke.
“Are you happy?”
Laurent gazed up at Damen, causing a series of memories to flash though his mind. Raising his head at the sound of his own name in electrical to see Laurent standing in front of him, the first time he had ever seen him. Storming through the yard in clouding anger, his feet mindlessly taking him to the shed where he would begin to find Laurent, time after time. Days on end of standing guard in the cafeteria, watching Laurent shamelessly watch him back, each of them becoming more unselfconscious with each passing glance.
He remembered bringing Laurent chocolate the first time, the weird swell of nerves he had felt when he picked it out at the grocery store, the feeling of anticipation being soothed only by the thought of how Laurent would react.
He remembered playing cards with Laurent in the common room, the first time they had really interacted inside the prison, the whole thing feeling illicit and exciting, before he even knew why.
He remembered, and he remembered. Images, words, touches, whispers, promises. They all flooded his chest and filled his mind, the memories taking a place in his heart. They had been bittersweet at the time, because they had thought that it was all they could ever have. Snippets. Glances. Moments.
Now the memories faded away, taking a backseat in his mind to what was before him now. What gloriously, unbelievably, would be before him forever.
He felt Laurent’s arm around him tighten, his gaze still locked on Damen’s.
“I’m happy,” Laurent whispered back, and Damen saw everything he remembered, reflected back to him in Laurent’s eyes.
Damen closed his eyes then, letting the fog of sleep settle over him. He pressed a slow, drowsy kiss to Laurent’s forehead, and whispered to him once last time before he let sleep take them both.
“I’m happy too.”