Chapter Text
Easy words, easy actions, easy smiles. They only become difficult when the weight of what needs to be hidden starts to grow heavy. Regina has never been strong enough to keep her feelings to herself, and an argument in the rain can attest to that, but fear holds her back this time.
They’re on the road again, stomachs full and the journey stretching as Regina tries to stay awake on the monotonous route. Emma’s apartment looms closer with every distance covered, their time together lessening as the evening grows colder and their comfortable silence becomes stifling. She feels like it’s being wasted away, Emma’s presence spent on her quiet breathing and the scent of her bodywash that lingers in the air—and if Regina had the time to appreciate such things, she wouldn’t demand so much more from this, but the road stretches on and her eyes burn from keeping them open.
“When we first met,” she rasps out, clearing her throat to continue, “I thought you were a prostitute.”
Maybe she wants to get a rise out of Emma, to fight so that their last hours together become bearable when they have to part, but Emma laughs at her statement instead of fighting it. Her elbow rests on her open window, her hair flying in the wind as she closes her eyes and throws her head back. She looks beautiful, Regina observes, sighing happily. “I thought you were a customer,” Emma giggles, and no matter how true that statement might be, Regina still manages to glare at her. “I mean, until you chewed my head off for approaching you. I knew you were there for another reason, I just… didn’t know what, and I really, really wanted to know.”
“Is that why you stalked me?” Regina asks, eyes widening as she glances at Emma before turning her attention back to the road.
She shifts, leaning forward until Regina can feel Emma’s body heat against her side. “I may have went out for drinks with friends that first night,” Emma admits in a whisper, “but the moment I saw you…I knew I had to go back in case you came around again.”
Regina can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips, the heat of a blush that dusts her cheeks pink. Emma had admitted this immediate attraction before, but it feels meaningful now, worth more than something common. This isn’t the precipice that might make Regina openly confess her love or ask for more time, but this moment is precious enough that she finds herself punching in a new location on the GPS, a frown etched between her eyes as she mentally maps out her route.
“Such a charmer,” she says drily, pushing Emma back against her seat as laughter fills the car once again. The reasons that Regina had parked in that dingy street a topic she is too emotionally exhausted to discuss.
Taking an exit, the road unfamiliar and yet recognisable in the dark, Regina watches as Emma sits up a little straighter in her seat at the sight of it. This time the roads are dry, and Regina drives without much difficulty until she parks them amongst rows and rows of cars, the sound of a lively carnival filling the space between them.
“Where are we?” Emma asks, hope threatening to break free in her voice, disbelief evident in the way she looks at Regina—and honestly, Regina just wants to kiss her, to rewrite that time spent arguing in this very parking lot into something better, but she’ll need rain for that, and Regina would very much like to remain dry.
Opening her door to jump out, her coat pulled over her clothes as the chilly evening air causes goosebumps to erupt across her skin, Regina invites Emma outside with an encouraging nod. “Come on,” she urges, opening Emma’s door for her to step out, a reassuring smile on her face as she takes Emma’s hand. Emma looks like a child taking in the wonders of this place, believing in its magic even if it’s science and exorbitant prices set by those who need to make money.
It’s a nice night, clear skies and just the right temperature for families mill about with toffee apples and candyfloss beards, laughing and joking with each other as they spend too much on silly games. It’s the type of place Regina feels at home in, with Emma’s hand in hers and a very appealing cider stand nearby. Whatever turbulent emotions had been festering inside seems to calm, Regina content as she looks to Emma who takes everything in with awe, her eyes settling on something with unrestrained longing.
Following her line of sight, Regina comes face to face with the biggest Teddy she has ever seen. The stand has a plastic crossbow and three tiers of metal cans, everyone trying their luck to knock it down, but the plastic arrow shoots in odd directions and the slightest of breezes seem to change its course. “That’s daylight robbery,” she comments, nodding at the stand.
“It’s a good challenge for a reasonable prize,” Emma argues, shrugging her shoulders like she hasn’t just been drooling over the Teddy.
Trying not to scrunch her face up in disagreement, Regina squeezes Emma’s hand and squares her shoulders. She’s getting that unfortunately large teddy for Emma, even if it takes all of her pride and most of her money. A bill is slapped down on the table before Emma can protest, that plastic crossbow in her hand as she aims for the cans.
One shot down and the arrow goes too far up. Two shots down and the arrow goes too far left, the third—
“Hold it like this,” Emma instructs, hands adjusting Regina’s grip on the crossbow to tilt it down, the warmth from her body making Regina shiver pleasantly as the third and final shot is fired, hitting three of the six cans.
Three isn’t enough, and she almost sets down another bill when the man behind the counter hands her a medium sized panda with a blue ribbon around its neck. “Here ya go,” he says kindly, holding out his hand for the crossbow that she still clutches weakly in her grip.
“Is that a panda?!” is screeched into her ears, Regina dropping the crossbow into the man’s awaiting hand in shock as she jerks back to make space between Emma and herself. Helpless, with the panda clutched between her hands, she’s attacked by a young woman who apparently loves pandas, enough that Regina’s mouth goes numb from the fierce kiss that Emma gives her.
Whispered, the word, “wow,” escapes her, the panda handed over without complaint to Emma who hugs it to her chest, a pleased smile on her face. She could have fun with Emma, tease her that she had won the panda for herself, but Emma looks so happy that Regina grabs her free hand again, leading them down toward isles of food that she would never eat otherwise.
They pass the popcorn stand, the toffee apple stand, and they almost pass the candy floss stand when Emma tugs her hand to stand in the line. “Regina?” Emma asks in a quiet voice, “why did you bring me here?”
Regina doesn’t have a proper answer, not one that might be simple and easy to understand, so she tugs Emma along with the moving line, offering her a small sigh and a smile. “I want to spend more time with you,” she answers sadly, knowing that the elastic band might snap if she pulls on it too hard. It doesn’t help that the mood dips into something sombre, Regina unable to cheer herself up when the thought that their time together might come to an end soon sticks to the back of her mind. She wants more, more than she can possibly handle at this time, but more than nothing at least.
The candy floss is bought and in Emma’s hand before Regina can pay, Emma simply shrugging as she breaks off a piece to hold it out to her. Boldly taking the candy floss into her mouth, tongue darting around Emma’s fingers, Regina hums happily at the taste, leaving Emma standing behind her in shock as she continues walking forward. “Ferris wheel?” she asks over her shoulder, fondly gazing at Emma who finally moves into action, that open mouthed stare shifting from Regina up to the Ferris wheel that had looked so devastatingly haunted the last time they were here.
Emma’s hand slips into hers again, holding on tightly as they wait in the queue, the candy floss broken and shared between them. Perhaps, she shouldn’t have thought about the end so soon, because she wants to talk about nothing else, and this isn’t the best time to beg for a relationship in the middle of a carnival with too many witnesses. Thinking of anything else to say, topics come to mind as they stand in silence, each one dismissed as unworthy as time ticks by, and Regina probably looks like a fish out of water with the way her mouth opens and closes with no words coming out, no more candy floss to mask her attempts at conversation.
“Is this a date?”
Gasping, choking a little on her saliva, Regina rubs her throat with her free hand. Is this a date? She certainly hadn’t intended it to be, but it looks like they’re on one now. Panicked, she says, “we’re next,” paying for the two tickets that grant them entry on the little cart, the metal door slamming shut as the next cart is brought forward and theirs is pushed up. Crawling, at a snail’s pace, Regina fidgets with her hands, glaring at the panda that takes up the seat next to Emma on the other side.
Swallowing thickly when the cart moves again, Regina braces herself as it swings. If she’s going to die, then she might as well go out in style. “Do you—do you want this to be a date?” Regina manages to ask, knuckles white around the metal bar.
Emma’s questioning gaze meets hers, an amused smile on her face as she sets the panda aside to place her hands over Regina’s on the metal bar. “Why does it get good, then playful, and then humiliatingly awkward with us?”
The cart jerks once more, Regina squeezing her eyes shut as they swing. “Because,” she grits out, leaning forward as far as the bar will allow her to go, the Ferris wheel done with filling their carts as it begins to move at a faster, smoother pace. “I don’t know how not to kiss you—and the only time I don’t want to, is when things are awkward, so maybe I make them awkward on purpose? I don’t know at this point—but is this thing moving faster? I can feel it moving faster?”
“No,” Emma drawls out, “but you’re definitely speaking faster.” She fights to keep her smile to herself, but Regina watches as it blooms into something spectacular, stretching across Emma’s lips like an award for her honesty.
The Ferris wheel slows when it reaches the top, pausing with a jerk that Regina exhales shakily at. There’s nothing she has against heights, but metal death traps? She has several problems with those, all of them extremely valid, thank you very much.
Emma says, “I hope it breaks down,” and Regina nearly has a heart attack.
“Why?!” she asks, unable to think of any reasonable excuse as to why they should be stuck sitting in a cart looking at the world below them, watching but unable to participate.
Gently, crawling up the length of her arm, Emma’s hand reaches her cheek until Regina leans into the touch, her own hands still glued to the metal bar with no hope of letting go anytime soon. “Because,” Emma answers, leaning forward, “I get to stay here with you.”
With the backdrop of the freeway behind Emma, the wind blowing a chilly breeze, and the warmth of Emma’s hand on her cheek, Regina finds herself falling, spiralling as she captures Emma’s lips in a kiss. The height must make her bold, reminding her of death that she too will have to face, of time that is limited and running out, spending it on being an idiot instead of being happy. Releasing the metal bar, unafraid of anything other than Emma pulling away, Regina deepens the kiss, her tongue swiping along Emma’s bottom lip to feel the grooves her teeth have left behind. Emma responds in kind, a low groan vibrating against Regina’s lips as their kiss slows down into a gentle caress.
The Ferris wheel jerks into action again, moving them down as the next cart gets to experience the view of the carnival below. Taken down a notch, her breathing returns to normal even as her lips still spark with the residual feeling of the kiss. Laughing softly, Emma hugs the neglected panda to her chest, a smirk fixed firmly on her face. “Next time, just kiss me instead.”
This fondness that seeps out from her pores makes Regina soft, vulnerable and open to the slightest of affections, and she soaks everything up, a satisfied smile on her face as she holds Emma’s gaze without care. The Ferris wheel stops again when they get to the bottom, the metal door unlocking for them to climb out—Emma with that damned panda, and Regina on shaky legs.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Taking Emma’s hand again, the action automatic now, Regina steers them toward a roasted corn stall, her money already taken out before Emma can even think of paying. Two cobs are ordered, the warmth from the food soothing Regina as she waits for an answer.
Shrugging nonchalantly, Emma takes a bite of the corn, nibbling at it whilst she forms a response. “Working,” she eventually answers. It’s the mention of life outside of their bubble that makes Regina pause, to take another bite of her corn until there’s nothing left but the bare cob that she tosses into the bin.
There are lessons to plan, a house she must sell, and an entire life she has to go back to after this. Zelena might have a handle on the legalities with her house, but how much is that process of letting go going to cost her, and how much of that expense is going to be taken out on Emma if they continue their charade? Releasing a sigh, her fingers wiped on a serviette, Regina nods her head toward the parking lot. “We should get going then.” She doesn’t really want to leave, but they can’t live in this fantasy forever, even if she allows Emma to hold her hand as they walk, that panda on her hip like a child.
This could be easy, and Regina has been treading that path since they left the resort, but the romantic in her shrivels and dies the closer they get to the parking lot. They still have to get home where real life awaits them, but surely there must be something here they can take back with them—other than that damned panda. Her steps are slow as she drags her feet, gaze cast around to find anything that might help her, and Emma tugs on her hand one too many times until—
“Photobooth!” she shouts, pointing in the direction of a red photobooth, the line long but moving quickly enough. Emma might have protested, but if she gets the panda, then the least Regina can ask for is a picture of the two of them.
Emma asks in a whispered hiss, “what happened to leaving?” like she’s got a date with a television series at home, like she’s planning on making popcorn and nestling in beside Regina as she comments on the stupidity of the writing. Regina can almost picture it, can see the way she might ask Emma why she watches the programme if she doesn’t like it, only for Emma to glare at her as if she has insulted their first born. It’s such a dangerous fantasy to have, but it is one she holds close to her chest when they are ushered inside the booth, curtains closed as the settings come up on the small screen.
She adjusts her hair, wipes her face free of any shine, and turns to Emma to do the same. Once satisfied, Regina gestures toward the camera. “Only one funny picture. I actually want one I can show people.”
“So… you want glares and haughty pouts? Got it.” Emma nods her head seriously, staring straight ahead as Regina tries not to laugh at the ridiculous expression on her face.
Unable to help herself, to adhere to her own requests, Regina pulls Emma in for a kiss by the lapels of her jacket, tasting a chuckle that only grows when the flash of orange glows behind her eyelids. “Did it just…?” Regina asks, pulling back from Emma with wide eyes. It shouldn’t be such a hard question to answer, but Emma’s chuckle grows into something contagious, the sound tickling Regina’s insides as she tries to hold Emma together.
It clicks again, catching them as they fall atop each other with aching stomachs and rosy cheeks. “Please,” Regina breathes, holding Emma’s face in one hand to pull her gaze toward the camera. This time when the camera clicks, catching the way Emma’s arm is around her waist, how their free hands are clasped together, smiles on their faces and their bodies too close, Regina knows that this is the one.
:::
The panda sits in the backseat like a voyeur, watching Regina as she concentrates on driving them to Emma’s apartment and catching glimpses of the woman herself from time to time. The road stretches ahead, theirs the only car on the highway that silently drives by—and it is here that Emma abruptly grabs her face, kissing Regina soundly on the lips as her eyes struggle to remain on the road. The kiss is absolutely filthy, Emma biting down on Regina’s bottom lip with a knowing glint in her eyes, her lips moving down to teasingly nip at Regina’s jumpy pulse point before moving back.
Shocked, a garbled sound her only response, Regina throws her hands up in the air and quickly slaps them back down on her steering. She can’t lose control twice on one road. “That was—that— dangerous!”
Emma laughs, delighted at Regina’s response. Chiming in, like this is some sort of game, she shouts, “thrilling!” Sitting up in her seat, with a breath-taking smile on her face, Emma doesn’t realise how much of Regina’s aloof character she challenges.
The need to remain the grumpy half of this equation to appease Emma’s humour sticks however, and Regina finds herself struggling to contain a smile at the way Emma laughs like a toddler with a new toy when she says, “foolish!” in a deep voice she exaggerates.
Shoulders scrunching up to her ears, Emma holds her hands out like this is her final chance at winning, throwing everything on the line. “Memorable?” she asks, turning on the puppy eyes that Regina isn’t entirely sure is natural. Indicating to turn into Emma’s street, not realising that their time together might come to an end, Regina releases her laugh in a splutter, the sound of it obnoxiously happy as it joins with Emma’s in perfect harmony.
“Idi—” Regina starts fondly, but the GPS pings, cutting her off from finishing the sentiment.
“You have arrived at your destination,” the navigator happily announces, and Regina’s smile falls from her face like a mudslide.
None of them expected any happily ever afters with this, but Regina doesn’t want to let go of the possibility of one so quickly. Switching the ignition off once she’s pulled up in front of Emma’s building however, Regina feels as if she doesn’t have much of a choice. What argument would she put forth for Emma to stay anyways—would Emma even want to stay?
Breathing becomes difficult when uncertainty squeezes her lungs, the light in the car turning off to plunge them both into darkness as they wait for the next part of this agreement. Emma had made it clear that she only had this weekend to give, and Regina had made a counterargument by promising to fight for her. Between the two, this isn’t a matter of either of them winning, but rather the both of them being happy with whatever decision has to be made. If Regina fights, would Emma feel obliged to stay? If Regina lets Emma go, would she regret it later?
Focusing on the in and out of every breath to remain calm, Emma’s perfume fills her nose and sends her into a frenzy once again. It’s now the only smell that lingers in her car, a scent she’s gotten so used to in these past days and one she’ll miss too much. She can’t say goodbye, won’t allow herself the aching feeling of loneliness that will creep in with something so definite, but Regina does turn toward Emma whose gaze meets hers, fingers intertwining with her own as they sit silently in the car that has been constant in this journey with them. Maybe she can do this, maybe she can fight for Emma, maybe… they might be able to build a life together, no matter how slowly. Opening her mouth to say as such, Regina inhales with a small ray of hope, but Emma cuts her off with a sad smile, and shatters it all with her next words.
“Bye, Regina,” Emma whispers, like this is a thank you for an experience that must never be repeated; a roller-coaster that’s done once and given its thrills, the contraption boring now that it is used. She doesn’t give Regina a chance to speak, to allow her the time to smooth over the frown between her eyes. Emma simply opens the car door, slowly getting out as Regina’s hand stretches to keep her within her grasp, fingertips sliding against each other until Regina doesn’t have anything to hold onto anymore.
There aren’t any last kisses, any parting words of love, and Regina holds back her tears as her chance to fight is snatched from her. “Goodbye, Emma,” she whispers her hand dropping down to the vacated seat, the leather still warm as Emma jostles the car when she removes her luggage from the same vehicle that Regina’s own sits in.
Watching from behind her window, Regina catches one last glimpse of Emma as she turns back, bag slung over her shoulder and streetlight casting a glow on her figure as she walks towards the stairs. Regina watches, waiting for Emma to come back, to give her a chance, but Emma disappears up the stairs, and she’s left with only her car for company and the empty road ahead.
…
Regina manages to drive for all of five minutes in peace before the reasons for Emma not wanting her whisper in her ear like ghosts. You’re not good enough, she deserves better, there was a time limit, your life is too messy— The thoughts keep coming, the things she had thought herself to be healed from attacking her like wasps on a witch hunt. She can’t compete with this, the lump in her throat growing too large to ignore. Between her insecurities and Emma, Regina realises that moving on is a far more difficult task than she had anticipated, but Gods, is it worth losing Emma because of it?
“I forgive you,” Regina whispers to herself as she turns a corner, her chest tightening and tears blurring her vision, “I forgive you.” She repeats it like a mantra, over and over again until there’s snot running down her nose and spit falling from her mouth with the intensity of her sobs. Behind her are years of whispered uncertainties, of reshaping and bending herself to the whims of those she considered important. Being with Emma made all those things come to light, pulling them out from their hiding places and making Regina aware of them as she had started to break her bad habits. Even if Regina doesn’t get to experience Emma as a lover again, a thank you is still in order.
Accelerating, her knuckles white around the steering wheel as she parks on the wrong side of the road, Regina pushes her car door open and runs across the street with no care for what she leaves behind. The alarm on her car beeps, the open door slamming with the wind, and Regina skids as she scrambles to climb up the stairs to Emma’s building. If she’s selfish, so be it, but Regina will not allow herself to be called a coward when the opportunity to thank Emma properly is right within her grasp.
Huffing by the third flight of stairs, her tears dry, and snot wiped away, Regina’s legs burn as she pushes herself just a little more. If anything might make her give up, then it’s these damn stairs that torture her as she pulls herself up, a painful prayer muttered under her breath to give her strength. These stairs aren’t the only thing she needs strength for however, and Regina shudders at the thought of arriving at Emma’s apartment with three other pairs of eyes judging her, three other sets of ears that will strain to listen to their stilted conversations.
Reaching the next landing, the sound of her footsteps unsteady as she leans against the wall, Regina takes in a needed breath, her head in her hands as she looks down at her feet. Her heartbeat thumps in her ears, the sound of blood rushing to her head almost overpowering the small, “hey,” that makes Regina snap her head up in surprise.
Sitting on the landing, her bag by her feet and her chin resting on her open palms, Emma looks at Regina with red rimmed eyes, and a quirk of an amused smirk on her lips. Regina knows she must look like a panting mess, failing to fight back a smile at being just a little lucky at avoiding the roommates; and she honestly won’t blame Emma for walking away for fear of the vein in the middle of her forehead bursting—Regina can feel the damn thing throbbing.
They remain silent for a few seconds, with Regina trying to get her breathing under control, and Emma trying not to look like she’s staring in disbelief. Regina almost wonders if there’s something on her face, but a quick swipe of her hand along her sweaty forehead doesn’t give her the answers she needs anyways.
“There’s this café,” Regina breathes out lamely, hoping her voice will distract Emma enough to stop looking at her like that, “they serve hundreds of flavours of tea. I was wondering… would you like to go there with me this Friday?” It’s pathetic how she covers up her run up these stairs, how she brushes her true feelings aside to ask Emma on a date that might seem platonic after this timed-out weekend—and it’s honestly embarrassing how quickly that thank you can shift into something else, giving way to make room for one more shot at this.
“You came back to ask me to taste teas with you?” Emma’s confusion is warranted, and Regina shrugs half-heartedly to put forth a nonchalant air that tries to play this off as no big deal.
“I-I mean, only if you want to?” she answers, smoothing her hands down over her coat self-consciously, her shoulders tensing as she watches Emma’s expressions shift from surprised to hopeful to defeated. Regina doesn’t know what’s expected from her here, but the slight shake of Emma’s head and the humourless smile on her face makes everything break around her.
Emma shakes her head with a scoff. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says quietly, and Regina can’t help but back away with a lump in her throat, nodding furiously in agreement as her heart squeezes painfully. When she stumbles down a few steps, trying to run away from the mess she’s created, Regina clenches her eyes shut and makes her feet stop. Here, away from Emma, away from those eyes that can strip her apart with a single gaze, she leans against the wall and takes a breath, steadying herself to start a battle that she had promised to fight a long time ago.
“I know our time is over,” she says, her voice echoing up the stairs, “but I am only human, and you are… you have been everything to me for some time now.” Regina doesn’t know if Emma has left, if her words have any impact on something that has reached its sell by date, but she powers through, making her case as best she can. “My life is a mess— all I’ve ever known has been broken down, and I’m only starting to rebuild it now. Asking you to be a part of that is selfish, but—” she pauses, taking a chance as she climbs up the few steps she had walked down before, her head peeking around the wall to find Emma standing up, her hand pressed to the spot Regina had been standing on the other side of. “But,” Regina continues, causing Emma to startle at her proximity, “I never said love wasn’t selfish.”
It takes a while, but a wet laugh makes its way past Emma’s lips, her head shaking from side to side as she drops her hands from the wall, “Care?” she asks with a rasp to her voice, “you mean care?”
There isn’t any place to hide now, no pancakes to feed Emma as a distraction, no wedding where they can use as an excuse. This stairwell only goes up or down, and they face each other with nowhere else to go, not without hurting more than their pride if either one of them attempts to run from this.
Regina steps forward, lessening the gap between them as she stands in front of Emma, her nose red and tear tracks down her face as she gives her all to Emma who has literally seen her naked. There truly is nowhere to hide, not behind double meanings nor deflected answers that border on flirtation. “No,” she answers easily, stepping forward into Emma’s space. “I mean,” Regina whispers, tentatively reaching out to brush a stray curl behind Emma’s ear, “that I love you, and I will do anything to fight for you— even if it means waiting for you.”
Time ticks by as she waits for a response, Emma startlingly still as she hopefully processes everything that Regina has said thus far. It feels like an eon when Emma finally moves, her arms spread wide to engulf Regina in a hug that makes it difficult to breathe—but Emma’s scent wraps around her, warm tears falling onto her neck, and Emma says so very delicately, “I love you, too,” like saying it any louder might break this reality they’ve created.
Pulling back, a choked sob slipping through an elated chuckle, Regina presses her lips against Emma’s in a kiss, one that starts and stops, and starts again when they can’t keep apart from each other for more than a few seconds. “I don’t expect more than this, alright? I only want what you can give— and as long I get to love you, this is more than enough for me. You are enough.”, Holding Emma’s face in her hands, Regina stresses the importance of this, her thumbs wiping away the tears that fall freely from Emma’s eyes as everything begins to sink in.
Perhaps it is because she had kept her word, fighting for Emma beyond her allocated time, that she earns another fierce kiss, this one backing her against the wall as Emma’s hands roam under her coat, trailing along her arms until her wrist is within a tight grasp. “Here,” Emma rasps, removing her own watch to clasp it over Regina’s wrist instead, the black band a little loose, the face a little big, but beautiful nonetheless. “I said time was all I had to give you,” she continues in a whisper, forehead resting against Regina’s, “and now I’m giving you all of mine.”
Her lips stretch into a smile, a wet laugh escaping her as Regina kisses Emma once more, tasting salt on her lips as she holds Emma close, their arms wrapped around each other in an embrace that makes it impossible to tell one apart from the other. She pours everything into the kiss, every I love you she had swallowed down, every compliment she had held back, every affectionate touch she had kept in her fist. It is only when air becomes a necessity that Regina pulls back, a satisfied smile on her face as she keeps Emma within her hold.
“Does this mean you’ll still come with me to that tea café on Friday?” Regina asks breathlessly, stroking her fingers along Emma’s cheek to dry the dampness from her skin.
Frowning, Emma struggles to keep her smile intact as it falls and then picks up again, hovering between here and there until it morphs into unabashed laughter that has Emma throw her head back, the sound echoing in the stairwell. “Sure,” she chokes out, kissing Regina’s cheeks as she bursts into another fit of giggles, her laughter vibrating against the skin of Regina’s neck until it subsides. “You made that whole speech just because you wanted me to taste teas with you?” Emma teases, giggling into the palm of her hand.
“I did not!” Regina denies, pulling Emma’s hand away from her mouth, the unfamiliar wrist watch sliding against her skin as she watches Emma laugh without hiding her beautiful smile. “But it is good tea,” she admits, raising her eyebrow at Emma who doesn’t give her the satisfaction of saying yes to her date.
The laugh in her eyes lingering, Emma looks at her with all the affection in the world, melting Regina completely as she leans into the delicate touch to her cheek. “I love you,” Emma says instead, confident and proud as she answers the question with three words Regina will never tire of hearing.
“And I you,” Regina whispers into another kiss, her lips tingling with use and swollen already, but Regina can’t be bothered so as long as Emma’s arms are around her, reminding her that she’s loved as they begin their new journey together.
:::
2 Years Later.
Regina doesn’t cook as much as she used to. There’s just enough pot roast for all of them, and a peppermint tart for the desert that she had bought from the shop because there simply hadn’t been any time to bake.
The table laid out with her best china, the one with gold trimmings and hand painted roses, Regina adjusts the glasses and fixes the serviettes as she moves around the table to straighten out any loose ends.
“If you were just going to re-do everything, why did you ask me to set the table in the first place?” Regina hears, a smile on her face as she finishes up her work to step back, nodding with satisfaction when she likes what she sees.
Adjusting the strap of her watch, the one given as a promise to her two years ago, Regina saunters her way over to Emma who stands with a pout on her lips, and her arms crossed over her chest. “Because,” Regina drawls, kissing Emma’s pout, “it’s far easier to fix what’s on the table than what’s missing from it. Besides, I have to give those muscles of yours something to do.”
“Oh?” Emma teases, uncrossing her hands to wrap them around Regina waist instead. “I’d rather my muscles do other things, don’t you think?” The smirk on her face, the raise of her eyebrow. Regina should have seen it coming, but she squeals just the same when Emma lifts her up, laughing with her as she locks her ankles behind Emma’s back.
They’ve done this so many times, where Emma lifts her up and carries her like a sack of potatoes, but Regina will still squeal and laugh like this is the most excitable experience she’s ever had. “You’re going to fall,” Regina feels obliged to warn, not bothering to ask Emma to put her down, her fingers already tracing the grooves of Emma’s muscles through her shirt.
Emma hisses out an, “uff,” head lolling back dramatically as she presses Regina against the nearest wall where the new frames housing pictures of them both from Marian’s wedding, the tiny printouts from the photobooth at the carnival, and their many dates— the tea café included, hang askew from their last round of lovemaking. “But I’ve already fallen,” Emma purrs, leaning up into a kiss, one that Regina only gets a taste of before the doorbell rings, pulling a pained groan from Emma who sets her down gently.
“Later,” Regina promises, pecking Emma on the lips as she makes her way to the door, a sultry look thrown over her shoulder to hear another groan for her benefit as Emma sets the frames straight again.
She barely manages to turn the handle before the door pushes wide open, Zelena strutting in like she owns the place with her too high heels and designer sunglasses perched on her nose. “Is it safe?” she asks, sniffing the air.
Ever since Zelena had walked in on her and Emma in a compromising position on the couch last year, Zelena has been insufferable in making sure the house is safe before fully barging in. Regina can’t help it honestly, the prude in her all but gone when Emma whispers sweet nothings in her ear and asks her what she wants— there have been positions and locations that Regina has never dared to try in her life that they’ve made their favourites now, both of them insatiable after they had worked through their ideologies of sex, and progressed their intimacy at a rate they could both handle.
“It’s safe,” she huffs, ushering Zelena inside where she strikes up a conversation with Emma, the sound of their voices distant as Regina straightens her posture at the sound of heels clicking down the pathway to her cottage.
It’s been a year and a few months since she moved into the quaint cottage with more land than home, her old house sold with the help of Zelena’s firm doing all the legal legwork. Regina is happy here; she has a vegetable garden she tends to, a small swimming pool that Emma helps her maintain by raking up the leaves in only her underwear to give Regina something to ogle, as well as freedom to do whatever she wants in a space that is entirely her own. Cora doesn’t approve of such simple living, but she’s learnt over the year to be civil enough not to comment on the cottage anymore.
The sound of those heels stops when Regina steps forward, hugging her mother who pats her back affectionately. “Hello, Regina,” she greets curtly, still aloof and poised despite the fond glint in her eyes.
“Hello, mother,” she greets, stepping aside to allow Cora to enter. “Marco,” she nods, acknowledging the man in her mother’s life who has been consistently there since the death of her father. Regina used to be angry at how quickly Daddy had been replaced, but Mother seems to love in much the same way she does, and this relationship between Marco and her has only recently become something romantic.
Drinks served, food placed on the table, and everyone settling down for lunch, Regina cuts up some roast for herself as the conversation ping pongs between too many people. Emma is engaged in a heated debate with Marco, Zelena chiming in whilst occasionally seeking Mother’s approval when she looks over at her every time she says something. The sight makes Regina smile sadly, but that isn’t her battle to fight, and she stays away from this thing that does not involve her. She focuses on her food instead, eating primly and sipping from her water as she listens to the back and forth.
“How is the job coming along?” her mother asks Emma once the debate has died down, and Regina zeroes in on that conversation, tuning out Zelena and Marco’s conversation about the importance of Pluto in their astrological charts.
“The responsibilities are doubled,” Emma answers, washing away her mouthful of food with a sip of her drink, “but the pay is far better than before. Luckily Regina convinced me to register for only two modules this semester or else I don’t think I would have managed otherwise.”
Mother nods at the answer, seemingly satisfied that Emma’s promotion to manager of the customer services division at the call centre hasn’t interfered with her studies. She’ll take another few years to graduate with degree in consumer studies, but they aren’t in any rush to prove anything to anyone. This achievement is highly personal, something Emma is slowly pushing to complete, and Regina is only grateful that she’s allowed the opportunity to be a part of that in whatever small way she can. “I suppose you might move in with Regina now, what with… your doubled responsibilities? Surely it would be beneficial for Regina to help you with your studies?” The hopeful raise of Mother’s eyebrow makes Regina chuckle into her glass as she sips her water, Emma fumbling for an appropriate answer.
Taking pity on her girlfriend, her hand reaching out to squeeze Emma’s wrist, Regina sighs in disappointment at her mother. “We’re not ready yet, Mother,” she explains, “but when we are, you will be the first to know.”
Everyone at this table has heard it all before, the talks about taking things slow and moving at their own pace, but Regina will say this speech a hundred times if it means that she gets the point across. Emma had given her time, and Regina had realised that all the broken things in their views needed to be fixed before they could move any faster than public dates and hand holding. For every step they took as individuals, their relationship grew, and Regina can never rush such progress, not when the results they’ve seen so far have been healthy and beautiful.
Mother might not be happy that they’re moving so slowly, but surely, she can appreciate how this pace works for them as a couple. Returning to her food, the last few bites spread across her plate so she can pretend to have finished her meal, Regina makes to leave to fetch the dessert she’s been eyeing all morning. The tart had just been baked, the aroma mouth-watering, and Regina hasn’t managed to sneak in a few bites when she had scolded Emma for attempting to do the same a few hours ago.
She’s almost off the chair, her plate in hand as she licks her lips at the thought of the tart, but Mother clears her throat to gain their attention, and Regina hovers awkwardly between standing and sitting. “I have an announcement,” Cora says seriously, setting her knife and fork down onto her plate, the signal clear enough that Regina sits back down, a pout on her face from being so close, yet so far from that tart.
“This may seem abrupt, but…” Trailing off, with an expression Regina has never seen on her mother’s face before, Cora takes Marco’s hand and inhales. “We are engaged to be married.”
Her face must be doing something because Emma kicks her under the table, the pain making her close her eyes as she pulls a smile up onto her face. This isn’t unexpected, but there isn’t even a ring on her mother’s finger to give them a warning. “We want to get married,” Marco clarifies, stroking her mother’s hand affectionately, “if that is alright with the both of you, that is.”
Marco is so sweet, so kind, so very patient with Mother that Regina can’t possibly say no. Had Cora been anyone else’s mother, maybe she would be okay with this, but this is her mother asking for permission. Even though Regina doesn’t quite see eye-to-eye with her mother on most things, this still feels like a piece of whatever is supposed to be hers is being given away to Marco.
“Are you—are you happy, Mother?” Zelena is brave enough to ask, sounding just as fragile as Regina feels.
Cora takes her time to answer, her hand still clasped within Marco’s own as she contemplates the best way to be honest, most likely. “I am,” she eventually breathes out, “I am the happiest I have been in a long time. And I want you girls to know that me finding someone else to love… this does not diminish what your father and I had.” Mother looks directly at her, holding Regina’s gaze with significance. “Okay?” she asks, and Regina nods her understanding, because she herself has found someone else to love, but the lessons and experiences learnt from her last relationship are not erased, nor will they ever be.
“I am happy if you are happy, Mother,” she forces out, reaching for Emma’s hand. “If you need any help with preparations or—or anything, just let us know.” If she kicks Zelena under the table, then it’s only because she’s trying to save her sister from drooling over her dress with her mouth wide open as she stares at their mother unblinkingly.
Silence descends on them afterwards, Cora’s soft, “Thank you,” the only thing that breaks through.
They all wait for Zelena to react, to approve of Mother in much the same way that she had wanted Mother to approve of her. It’s ironic how things can turn on their head, how a small smile from Zelena that turns into a cackling laugh can mean just as much as Mother’s lectures on the various aspects of their lives. “At least this time you don’t have to pretend to have a plus one, Regina,” Zelena wheezes, finding the entire situation far funnier than it is.
Mock offended, Regina hisses. “Oh hush!” Swatting at Zelena’s arm as the tension in the room seems to dissipate. She’ll allow Zelena to tease her, to laugh and make light of the situation so as long as she comes to terms with it.
“You think,” Emma leans in to whisper in her ear, “August will let go of his crush on you if we set him up with Zelena?” It’s such an obscure thing to say at this particular time, but when does Emma ever leave out an opportunity to try and rid August of his ever-present crush?
Leaning into Emma, her gaze trained on Zelena who speaks quietly to Mother, Regina lowers her voice. “We can invite them out with us one of the days, if you’d like. But I’m more focused on Mother’s announcement, to be honest. This doesn’t seem sudden, but it is shocking.”
Emma’s hand strokes up and down her arm, soothing her as Mother laughs at something Zelena has said, the air cleared and even Marco joining in. “The real question to ask is,” Emma whispers, “are you ready to attend another wedding with me?”
She’ll deny the blush on her cheeks and the smile on her lips, but Regina can’t wait to attend an event as big as this with Emma by her side, carefree with her affections and easy in the way they interact with each other. Marian would be thrilled to see them like this. “This one can’t be half as eventful as the last,” she says, laughing as she remembers how rocky their relationship had been then, how her car had gotten stolen from the side of the road where she left everything wide open.
They travel differently now, on the same path that’s better insured and at a speed that safer. They aren’t fragile, but they still might be a little delicate, a little tender in places that must heal; but when Regna cups Emma’s face to press a kiss to her lips, the simple, “yes, I am ready,” means more than just a commitment to this event, and Regina will make sure Emma knows that every day.