Chapter Text
CHAPTER NINE
REY & BEN
“Dear, can you pass me the sugar?”
Ben grabbed a couple of sugar packets sitting at the end of the table, placing them in front of his mother. She shook them out, making sure all the sugar fell to the bottom and not sticking to the sides of the paper packet. A little habit she had for as long as Ben could remember. Naturally, his mother with her obligations and ridiculous schedules, had a caffeine addiction.
Of course, Ben inherited such a tendency from her.
“You have your father’s heart and your mother’s work ethic. A deadly combination,” Uncle Luke would joke, earning a glare from a teenage Ben.
Leia Organa Solo, a former politician and well-known public figure of a would-be princess was seamlessly able to blend in his favorite diner. Part of Ben expected her to dress in her old suits, the warm burgundies and pinstriped browns her favorite out her collection. And the only attire Ben was able to associate with his mother, even when he dug through the depths of his memory.
He often wondered if he told Rey this what it would say about his relationship with his mother.
Instead, his mother was wearing duck-boots, a large, clunky dark green sweater and sweatpants. Her hair was pulled into a crown braid, the simplest style Ben had ever seen adorned on her head. She looked like any other local, as she technically was one at this point despite never coming into downtown, and no one spared her another glance.
Drab but happy. Retirement suited her well.
Their coffee wasn’t at their table yet, Ben waving Rose off so she handle the early morning rush. He was a regular, waiting a bit for his breakfast wouldn’t bother him.
“Son, not that I don’t love spending time with you,” Leia began, laying out her four sugar packets in a neat row, “but is there a reason why you decided to call me for breakfast?”
Ben opened his mouth, willing sound to come out, yet a faint ‘eh’ was uttered instead.
Leia winced at his pained expression. “I swear, you are becoming more like your father every day.” She dug into her purse, pulling out a glasses case. With an elegance only his mother could possesses, she placed the thin framed reading glasses on the slop of her nose and picked up a menu. “Have you been here before? Are their flapjacks any good—or their omelets?”
“Their French toast is pretty great,” Ben suggested, fiddling with his menu. He already knew what he wanted to order, since he ordered the same thing all the time.
Rey would tease him endlessly about it—“Why? You have an assortment of choices and we come here all the time? Why not just try everything at least once? What’s the harm in a little adventure.”
With a huff, Ben picked up the menu and scanned the items, looking for something he’d never try. And maybe if he convinced himself hard enough, he’d get it. For Rey’s sake.
“Hmm, I think you’re right,” Leia muttered, flipping the laminated page. “Your father loved this place, would sometimes bring me some to-go. Always something different.” A full chuckle escaped her, she shaking her head a little at a memory Ben could not see. “I think it was your father’s personal mission to try everything on the menu at least once.”
“Huh, that’s an endeavor,” Ben mumbled. It did sound like something Han Solo would do for no one’s satisfaction, but his own.
“One time he came back home with a lobster bisque—and I firmly believe one shouldn’t order the lobster bisque from diners because well,” she shrugged.
Ben understood the unspoken rule. “Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Why would someone do that? Screw living in a fishing town.” He was positive Rey had tried the lobster bisque at one point for shits and giggles and ended up hating it. But more so she hating the taste of lobster than actually hating the dish.
“Exactly,” Leia nodded, “but your father didn’t understand that and got a full serving. Surprisingly it was good.”
“Alright, sorry about the wait,” Rose greeted the two with a chipper smile. She flipped over their mugs and filled coffee to the brim, before setting the pot down and pulling out her notepad. “What can I get—” she looked up, faltering slightly, “oh, no Rey today, Ben?”
“Uh, yeah,” Ben coughed, feeling the impetrating gaze of his mother, “she’s actually going to grad school up north. Left last night.”
Rose’s grin formed into a pitiful smile. She patted his shoulder with her free hand. “Ah, I see. Well I’m sure if anyone can do the long distance thing, it’s you two.” She glanced back at Leia, possibly seeing the resemblance between the two. “He has a sweetest girlfriend and they are probably the cutest thing on this planet, but you probably already know that,” she waved off, not noticing Leia’s pursed lips and working mind. Rose clicked her pen open, ready to take their orders. “Alright, Ben your usual?”
“Um, actually I think I might get the…western omelet,” Ben corrected, handing off the menu.
Rose nodded, adding the item. “And for you?”
“French toast, please,” Leia supplied, handing off her menu. Her eyes remained fixed on Ben, a sternness under her gaze that made him squirm like a kid.
The girl ambled off with assurance she’d get their orders in right away. Thankfully.
Silently, Leia tore open each sugar packet and dumped their contents into her mug. “So…who is this Rey?”
“My sort of girlfriend.”
“She either is or isn’t. There is no such thing as ‘sort of’ in relationships,” Leia scolded lightly, stirring her coffee. “So she’s your girlfriend.”
“She was,” Ben corrected reluctantly, “we sort of broke-up. And before you say it, it wasn’t every clear if we did or we didn’t because we were both very upset and mad and…neither one of us said it was over so…”
He shrugged.
“But she moved?” Leia asked her stirring coming to a halt.
“Yes.”
“So you two did break-up.”
Ben groaned, dropping his head against the table. “Please don’t say it like that.”
“Son, don’t be dramatic—face the facts and you’ll know what to do.”
Ben glanced up at her, unamused. “You make it sound like finding the answer is simple.”
“The answer is simple if you love her,” his mother said bluntly, taking a sip of her coffee. Her shoulders relaxed once the caffeine was in her system. “Do you love her, Ben?”
He didn’t need to think long and hard on the question. He knew the answer the moment Rey walked away from him that night after Breakfast At Tiffany’s.
“Of course I do,” Ben blurted out, slumping back against his seat. “She is the best and worst person I know. She’s my best friend! And she’s not here and hasn’t talked to me in weeks and it feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing me in the chest every single time I think a little about her. Like how she is willing to try anything once or how she has all this hope in her that just doesn’t makes sense for someone with her past and how she is so witty and knows how to shut me up—”
“And you do need that, desperately. What your mouth says doesn’t always match your brain,” Leia interjected before he could work himself up any further. “So what did you do to screw up this seemingly perfect relationship?”
“I…I pushed her away, subconsciously,” Ben confessed, “and she pushed me away, intentionally.” He picked up a half-and-half creamer, needing something to be in his hands. “It got serious, fast.”
“How fast?”
“We were friends for almost two years…and we have only been more than friends for, maybe, four months.” He rubbed his eyes, exhausted by merely thinking over it. “And I knew I wanted to marry her within the first week.”
“Of dating?”
“Of knowing her.”
Leia’s eyes widened. “Wow…Son, that is…that is quite a bit to take in. To be honest, I thought you were not going to marry anyone, or give love a chance. That maybe Han and I…” she sighed, hands cupping her mug tightly, “that maybe Han and I screwed you up. Especially in the love department. We weren’t the best parents or the best examples of love—I can say that now that I’ve had time to…to truly ruminate on our relationship.”
Ben swallowed, sensing the apprehension and faint shame over his mother’s shoulders. He understood she tried her best when she could, and maybe her best wasn’t enough. A harsh truth to acknowledge, years later.
“So what are you going to do, Ben?”
He tossed the half-and-half aside, hands planted on the table top. “What can I do? She left. What is the saying—‘if you love something, set it free’? I mean isn’t that what Joe Bradley does for Princess Ann—let’s her go off to be the Princess she is, despite wanting to love her and be with her?”
“Oh my god!” Leia slammed her spoon on the table, garnering attention from the patrons sitting near them. “Oh my dear god, Benjamin!”
“Mom—”
“You are relying on a silly film made in the fifties to guide your love life?” She stared up at the heavens, attempting to regulate her breathing. “I should have never shown you that film,” she muttered.
“No, I just—” Ben huffed, hands clasping and unclasping together, “I just—my mind always goes back to Roman Holiday because it is the greatest love story ever told! The serendipity of it all, the fact they would have been perfect together if they could be together. That a great love can happen once and—”
“Shut up, Ben. I need you to shut up,” she insisted, with a firm hand up. Shaking her head, Leia raised a hand out to Rose to get her attention. The girl hurried over, Leia clutching the young woman’s arm. “I need the strongest drink you have here—”
“Mom—”
“Um, that might be a mimosa? We don’t really sell alcoholic drinks here.”
“That’s fine. Bring that—bring two!” Leia ushered the girl off, Rose following the order in stride. Once the girl was gone, Leia turned back to Ben, he attempting to sink to floor and become one with the ground in his embarrassment. “Son, you are an idiot.”
This was not the first time Leia had called him an idiot, but it was the first time she said it in at least a decade so maybe it meant something more than it had before. “I’m just telling you the truth. I love her, so I got to let her go—”
“No, no, no,” Leia shook her head. Reaching over the table, she grasped Ben’s hands in her own. He felt the wrinkles on her skin, a first for him. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Ben.”
“What do you mean?”
“I loved your father,” Leia began, squeezing Ben’s hands for dear life. “I loved him so much, I felt all I could do was let him go off on his adventures. I never thought I could go with him, and once we have you…well I used you as another excuse. I didn’t force him to stay and I never asked if I—if we—could come along. I just thought…” she sighed, a shakiness to her firm and fiery voice, “I just thought my love wasn’t enough for him and let him go.” She sniffled, attempting to remain composed. “Because I loved him and I thought that was the right thing. I couldn’t keep him caged…but I realize now, he always wanted us with him, he just didn’t know how to say it. Because he wasn’t brave like that, but I was and I didn’t do it because I was an idiot.”
Ben was at a loss for words, only able to hold his mother’s hand longer and tighter. A lifeline of understanding.
She rubbed a soothing circle on the back of his hand, like she did when he was young and scared of the dark. Except now he was older and afraid to make the biggest decision of his life.
“Your Rey,” Leia said softly, caressing the name as though Rey were her own child, “sounds like a brave girl. Like a tough one. Someone to push your buttons in the right way.”
“She is,” Ben supplied quietly, forcing himself to met his mother’s eyes.
“But it also sounds like she’s been hurt, a lot.”
“She has,” Ben choked out.
“Don’t add yourself to that list,” Leia ordered, her brown eyes meeting his own brown eyes. Mirror images of each other. “Neither of you deserve that.”
(Sitting with him mother, she reminiscing on Han and her love for her late husband, Ben realized his theory on romance films was wrong.
Rey was right about Allie and Noah. And Jo and Professor Bhaer. And Robert and Giselle.
She was right about all of them. They were all perfect pairs… because they completed each other. Each couple brought out the best and worst in their partner.
There was no formula for the perfect couple because each one was different.
And maybe Roman Holiday wasn’t the best film to make the control to his theory. The film left such a strong impression on his young mind, he never realized how it could harm him in the long run.
Making him believe he had to let go of his great love because he was undeserving of it.)
--
“Fuck,” Rey grumbled, digging through her suitcase. “Where the hell is it?”
Packing had been hectic, Rey rushing through the process and choosing the first apartment somewhat within her budget and not entirely run down. Naturally, she forgot a few items here and there. Like appliances or maybe a book or two. The latter Finn could ship out, and the former…well she was due for a new coffee pot.
But forgetting her rain coat was a dumbass move. Especially when she now lived in Seattle, Washington. Where it never seemed to stop raining.
Sure her umbrella did okay and her peacoat kept her warm, but a rain coat was ideal.
Marching over to her other suitcase, one she was positive it wasn’t in, Rey unzipped with more aggression than necessary. Flipping it open she was met with socks, underwear, and pajamas.
No rain coat.
“I swear I thought—” her words died in her throat.
She knew exactly where her rain coat happened to be.
Hanging by the door in Ben’s condo.
“Well, shit,” she huffed, flopping on the floor of her small apartment. No bedroom, one bath, and a kitchenette and a compact washer and dryer. A win…sort of, but it was in her budget and walking distance from the university. And that’s all that mattered.
Her stomach growled, Rey once again reminded she needed to go grocery shopping.
But she also didn’t have pots and pans, which meant digging a little into her hidden money stash and eating somewhere to hold her over until she decided to shop. Not that she minded…walking around and getting comfortable with the area was one of the reasons she decided to leave early…
And not because she was pushing Ben away. Nope.
Not at all.
Standing up, she grabbed her sash purse, coat, and umbrella. Bundling up, she locked up her apartment and went out into the sprinkling rain. Rain droplets had a way of sweeping by the umbrella, smattering her face as she trekked through the cool air. And while she usually liked the rain all she could thing about was Ben’s stupid theory.
It didn’t help she saw at least three couples kissing under the rain on her walk, only outside for a total of ten minutes. Maybe the universe hated her and wanted to torment her. Ignoring another couple walking down the street together, she pushed on ahead, making a crosswalk before the light turned red. Rey knew there was a coffee shop down the street that sold breakfast sandwiches down the street, she able to hit two birds with one stone.
Reaching the coffee shop, Canto Coffee & Co., Rey threw open the door and shook off the rain from her umbrella.
“Hey there,” the barista, Jannah greeted, “nice to see you stop by again—Rey, right?”
“Right,” Rey grinned, stepping up to the counter. “Surprised you remembered.”
“Well, you’ve stopped by three days in a row. Not to mention it’s not every day you met a girl named Rey with an E,” Jannah joked, “Same as yesterday—egg and spinach sandwich and caramel latte?”
Part of her wanted to get something else, like she always did when she mentally decided she’d become a regular at any coffeeshop or restaurant. Ben found it irritating, never able to order for her when she walked away for a moment or needed to use the restroom.
But she also missed the comforts for home…home being Ben.
“You know what you are going to get when you have a usual,” he would insist. “No surprises and a comfort knowing it is going to make you feel good because it made you feel good the last time. It just makes sense. Why fix something that is not broken?”
“Yeah, the same,” Rey finally said, digging for her wallet. “You can just make it my usual. I have a feeling I’ll be stopping by more often.”
“Right on it,” Jannah typed in the order, ringing up Rey’s total. “By the way, the guy sitting in the corner has not been able to stop looking at you since you came in and it is both adorable and terrifying in a hot way.”
“What?” Rey snorted, ducking her head lower. No need to look, she’d only make the situation more awkward than necessary. She was never one to notice if someone was watching her in a…prospecting way. She was aware, but not aware of anything like that.
Plus, she had Ben.
Sort of.
“He’s tall and broody,” Jannah continued, “I’d say talk to him. You never know…” the woman teased.
Rey floundered, handing over her debit card. “Ah—no. No, I have a boyfriend. Back at home.”
“Well, you better tell that to broody because he is making his way over here.”
“Rey—”
She knew that voice.
Deep, warm, awkward, yet sweet.
She whirled around, mouth dropping at the sight of him.
Dark hair wet from the rain, a carry-on by his feet, and windbreaker dripping water on to the floor.
“Ben,” she uttered, unable to look away.
Bashful, determined honey-brown eyes met her own. He licked his lips, running a free hand through his hair. “Uh, hi.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked, mentally bashing herself for sounding breathy. But she couldn’t help it; never did she think she’d find Ben standing across from her in a coffeeshop in the Seattle, sopping wet.
“Um, I decided to follow you,” he confessed quietly, the hand gripping his carry-on tightening.
“Ben Solo!” the other barista called out by the pick up counter. “Large double shot black for Ben Solo!”
“And get coffee,” Ben added, nodding to the counter. “I’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours so…” he shrugged.
“You are a caffeine addict,” Rey muttered, hugging herself tighter.
“Ben Solo!” His order was called out again.
“I’m gonna go,” he motioned behind him, “get that.”
“Sure,” she nodded sharply, watching him walk to the other side of the large counter.
“Oh,” Jannah breathed, “he’s the boyfriend. That’s a rom-com in the making right there.”
Rey’s eyes snapped shut, rubbing the space between her brows. “You have no idea.”
“When was the last time you slept?”
“Through the night or shutting my eyes and willing myself to sleep an hour or two?”
“Both?”
“Not since you left my place upset. Barely get an hour or two otherwise,” Ben admitted, sipping his coffee cautiously. He hummed in surprise. “That’s actually pretty good.”
She crumpled a napkin, fiddling with the brown paper. “They have good lattes. Well, a caramel latte. I haven’t tried the other one’s yet.”
He raised an eyebrow in question, but didn’t comment further. “I’ve been up for the last twenty-four hours because I was packing and traveling—”
“It took you hours to pack one carry-on?” she quipped, a bit teasingly.
“It took me hours to pack my condo.”
Her eyes snapped to him, her heart stilling. “What?”
“Well, partially,” he clarified, eyes down cast on the table top. “Personal things I’d rather not let my mom pack, like my clothes and documents and movies. But she’s taking care of everything else.”
“Why…” she inhaled shakily, telling herself to not be wishful, “…why would you need to pack up your condo?”
His hand found hers, intertwining their fingers. “Why would I live anywhere you aren’t?” he asked quietly. “I’m not leaving, Sweetheart. Even if you try to force me, I love you too much to do that.”
Her face crumbled, hot tears flooding her vision.
She didn’t expect this. She didn’t expect him to follow her, pick up his life and transplant himself. No one did that for anyone. Not even people they loved without thinking it over a dozen times, without considering all their options.
Maybe a serious couple, or spouses…but she never thought that would happen to her.
Rey never thought someone would love her enough to do such a wild, yet sacrificial gesture. To be wanted beyond a simple companionship.
But then again, nothing was ever simple between her and Ben.
“Ben…” she felt a large, warm hand wiping away her tears. “…you…you can’t just move—”
“Who says I can’t?” he countered, his voice low and hush. The sound of the pattering rain against the glass windows soothed the chaos running through her chest and mind. “It’s my life. I have no obligations to Ahch-To other than my mother who fully supports my decision, and my home…my home is with you.”
Lifting their joined hand, Rey pressed her lips to his knuckles. “Mine is too…” she murmured against his skin. “And…And I’m sorry for how I was acting.” She chewed on her lower lip, sniffling once then twice. “I just…I didn’t think you’d want to leave and I was scared and I know how much those movies mean to you and—”
“I know,” Ben interjected. “I know you were scared, because I was scared too. But I’m not anymore.” He then shrugged a little helplessly. “And I know I can be a bit much with my movies—”
“I love how enthusiastic you are about them, I shouldn’t have said what I said—”
“No,” Ben shook his head. “I needed to hear it because you were right. I was hiding behind my favorite movies and not living my life. And I plan to change that.”
“Really?” she said, both stunned but moved. “I mean, I still want Friday to be movie night—”
“Of course, we are not changing that,” Ben insisted with a tired chuckle. “Nothing is going to change movie night.”
“Good,” Rey murmured, pressing the back of his hand against her cheek. “Because I do love movie night, and I know you do too.”
“But movies aren’t my everything,” Ben said with conviction, “you’re my everything. And nothing is going to change that.”
Together, arm in arm, they walked out of the coffeeshop and into the pouring rain. Ben slouched to hide under Rey’s umbrella, but it was proving to be futile.
Only three steps and the two forgone the entire thing, choosing to face the rain all the way back to her apartment.
At their own pace they walked, feeling no need to run despite the water soaking them down to the bone. They passed by different shops and restaurants, a few offices here and there silently committing the path together to memory.
Once they reached Rey’s building, she ran up the stoop and dug for her keys.
As her hands brushed them, she felt Ben pull her a step back, rain falling upon her head once more.
“Ben what are you—”
Her words were silenced with a firm, loving kiss.
Soft, yet tendered. Cold except where Ben’s hands grazed the skin of her neck and were his lips met hers. Her hands clasped for purchase on his wet windbreaker, pushing herself up on her toes as he leaned further down into her orbit. She never wanted to leave his hold.
All felt perfect…except for one thing.
Pulling away, she squinted up at him through the rain. “I thought you hated rain kisses. Aren’t they for only for ‘doomed couples’?”
“I’ve reevaluated my theory,” he confessed, blinking away water from his eyes. “All those couples…weren’t bad because of the rain kiss. In fact, they weren’t bad at all…just different but perfect for each other.”
“What are you saying?” she asked with a teasing grin, nudging and poking him in the ribs.
He rolled his eyes, catching her poking fingers with both is hands. “Maybe…maybe rain kisses are reserved for the best couples, not the doomed ones.”
“You idiot.” Grinning brightly, she pulled him down for another kiss.
A roll of thunder echoed above them, rain pouring in tenfold.
Yet neither minded the rain, not when they had each other.
(Yes, dear reader, Rey and Ben ended up with a weeklong cold after their kiss in the rain.
Both also confessed kisses in the rain are not all they are cracked up to be. Wet, cold, and public for the most part, a bit too much for our finicky and stubborn couple to handle. After all, they liked their privacy.
They both vowed to never try such a kiss again.
That is until they discovered shower sex. And well, they had different opinions on that matter.)
THE END