Chapter Text
It was a cool morning. Summer wasn’t going to last much longer, taking with it more than just the sun. Aaron sat spread on the sofa, hoodie sleeves over his hands as he stared at his phone. He’d made a decision last night after he’d left Robert and his heart behind, after he’d given Victoria a recount of his date and gone home to crawl into bed.
He needed to move. It made the most sense. It would save Vic and Adam asking him to go so they could start their life together. It would save Aaron from running into Robert around every corner. He’d still work in Emmerdale, he’d still be here for those he loved, only this way he’d have some breathing space. It wasn’t like there were places in this village available anyway, at least not any that Aaron could afford. But if he left then he’d get passed this, finally.
“Whatcha doing?” He hadn’t heard Victoria sneak up on him, her face appearing suddenly over his shoulder. He thought he had hours before she’d be awake. No one was up except for farmers, their sheep and those trying to move on with their life. “Why are you looking at apartments in Hotten?”
He attempted to hide his phone but she was quick, snatching it from his hands.
“Hey!”
She flopped on the sofa, tucked her ridiculously fuzzy slippers under his thigh.
“Are you moving out?” Her voice was so soft he didn’t want to look at her.
“It’s time don’t you think?” He glanced over then, hating himself when he saw the concern on her face.
“But why?” She held his phone out for him to take. “Is this about meeting someone? Because there’s…”
“Vic, you and Adam are engaged. I’m just planning for the inevitable.” He shoved his phone in his hoodie pocket, wanted to sink into the cushions and hide.
“What does that even mean?”
“You’re getting married, the last thing you both are going to want is your mate living down the hall. You’re going to want…”
“You know we have sex right? A lot of it.”
“Ugh, what the…”
“Well we do and you’ve been down the hall most of the time.” She laughed, whereas Aaron would have given anything if he never had to make eye contact with her ever again. “So give me another excuse.” Her voice was suddenly fierce, the one that always scared him a little.
It’d been years since they’d had a fight, which had lasted five minutes and he couldn’t even remember what it was about. Sometimes it was annoying that she knew him better than anyone else.
“You’re going to want kids soon aren’t yah?” Vic had always loved babies; she was going to be an amazing mum. He’d never get in the way of that.
“Again, I am not seeing how you at the breakfast table is going to change any of that.” She sighed and curled in closer to him. “If you go because it’s what you want fine, but Adam and I love you. You’re family. I’d make you live with me forever if I could.”
“Yeah?” He refused to admit there were tears in his eyes. Had he always been this sappy?
“Of course. Where would I be without my daily dose of Grumpy?” He felt her press her cheek into his shoulder before pulling back. “Is this about Robert?”
He froze, his mind blank, and for a second he debated just running out the door, changing his name and living life on the lam.
“I thought so, you haven’t been yourself since he got back. Something happened didn’t it?” She poked him in the chest, demanded an answer. He knew well enough to give in.
“Just a kiss but it didn’t mean anything. We were drunk.” He still refused to look at her, but he could feel her eyes on him, knew she was putting the puzzle pieces together.
“Right. So you’re planning to move out of the village and Robert goes from my smiling big brother to glowering and ordering a double whisky the moment I tell him you’re on a date but it didn’t mean anything. ”
He looked her dead in the eye then.
“He did?”
She smiled at him and nodded. He bit his lip, did it mean something? Maybe? It was still too messy, too many people were wrapped up in it. The simple fact they were even having this conversation was proof of that.
“It doesn’t matter.” He went back to looking at his hands, wished he could reverse time. Then he never would have walked into that kitchen, never let himself start this stupid crush on his best mate’s brother.
Victoria hummed a little, moved away from him again.
“Do you know what I felt when I was on that dance floor and I realized that Adam was getting down on one knee?” She rubbed at his arm and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Finally?” Aaron was pretty sure that’s what the entire village had been thinking.
She gave him a soft laugh, “No, I was petrified.”
He gave her a confused look, she loved Adam, of course she did. Didn’t she?
“I love him and yes, I want to marry him. But in that moment I was so scared. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, him and us, a family. Ever since I was a little girl. What if I messed it up? What if I got it wrong and I hurt myself, or him?” She put her hand over his. “Or everyone else I love?”
“But…”
“Nothing is perfect Aaron, nothing in life is a guarantee. Except you and me, mates for life remember?” They grinned at each other, he wondered if he told her enough how lucky he was to have her.
“Vic, it could all go so wrong.” If Robert could hurt him this much now how badly would his heart break if Aaron handed it over willingly?
“Did you stop being there for Andy when he and Debbie broke up over and over again?”
“Of course not.”
“What if I went upstairs right now and gave Adam back his ring, would you stop loving me? Would you stop being his mate?”
He gave her a horrified look, “No, but it’s not the same.”
“Why? You don’t think we all love you just as much?”
He opened his mouth and then closed it again, sighed as she nudged him.
“It’s official, you’ve become your mum.”
She giggled and something in his chest lightened. It felt a little like hope.
“I know it’s scary. I do. But Aaron, isn’t he worth trying? Aren’t you? Because it’s not just a crush, not anymore.”
He wanted to ask her if she’d always known, but she was Vic, of course she had. He looked at her again and she gave him an earnest nod.
“I gotta go.” He jumped up from the sofa, already hunting for his car keys. He stopped at the front door, walked back to look at her again.
“You’re a pain in my arse but you know I love you right?” He rarely said it but she knew.
She shot him a wink, “Obviously.”
Then he turned around and raced out the door.
Robert laid in bed listening to his brother get ready to start his day with the sun. He’d not gotten used to living with other people again. His mum could sleep through anything, Robert not so much.
He was amazed Andy was even still alive, Robert basically carrying him all the way home. He hadn’t been drunk, regardless of what Aaron had probably thought. He’d just been disappointed and hurt, and jealous. He let that get the better of him.
There was no denying it now, Aaron didn’t want him. Well maybe for a quick shag but not for anything else. Robert couldn’t be too surprised could he? He’d gone out with a doctor, what was Robert compared to that? Nothing but a farm boy. He lived with his mother for God’s sake.
He’d seen what he’d wanted to see. Maybe he’d felt so much that it made him think that Aaron had to feel the same way. He wasn’t the London playboy anymore and he needed to start remembering that. He’d come home so he could be himself again, that Robert hadn’t measured up.
He just needed to figure out a way to live with that.
He could smell coffee wafting up from the kitchen, decided sleep was no longer a part of his future and made his way downstairs. Andy was sitting at the table, slumped over the cup in his hands. He looked up at Robert with sad eyes.
“Did I wake you?”
“Nah, you’re alright.” He got a mug for himself, mirrored Andy’s dejected state when he took the chair beside him.
“How you feeling?” Andy just groaned in response, but Robert wasn’t sure if it was his hangover or his heart that was giving him trouble.
They sipped in silence but he could feel his brother watching him.
“What?”
“This is gonna sound crazy but...did I see you and Aaron...were you kissing?” Andy gave a small chuckle, like he didn’t actually believe it. Robert just closed his eyes and sighed.
“You didn’t.”
“Andy…”
“Jesus, he’s basically our brother.”
“Not to me!” He slammed his cup on the table, swore when hot liquid sloshed over his hand. He got up and grabbed a towel, wiped at his pink skin. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not interested.”
“Not from what I saw.” Andy leaned back in his chair, studied Robert for a moment. “What were you thinking?”
Robert threw the towel on the counter, ran his hand through his hair.
“I wasn’t okay, I just...wasn’t. I haven’t been able to think properly since I got back. He’s everywhere with his perfect scowling face and that gorgeous fucking laugh. And that smile...”
“Holy shit, you’re in love with him.”
Robert gave his brother a hard look.
“No, I’m not.”
“Rob, I think you are.”
He turned to brace himself against the counter, too much running through his head. Did he? Was he? Probably. Yes.
Fuck.
“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way, he’s made that perfectly clear. He wants to pretend it never happened so that’s what I am going to do.”
“No, you’re not.”
Robert looked over his shoulder.
“Come on man, Aaron’s had a thing for you his entire life. Everybody knows that.” Andy was smiling at him, genuine and happy. Had he been listening to Robert at all?
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Trust me. You haven’t been here. I have.”
Robert felt warm for a second, the idea that Aaron had been smitten once upon a time. Until he’d grown up, until he’d seen Robert for who he really was.
“Well it was just a crush. It’s over now.”
“Rob, sit down.” Andy used his Jack voice, the stern one that had them snapping to attention as teenagers. It must have been muscle memory because he did as he was told.
“You have to tell him how you feel. He probably thinks you’re just looking for a good time. Or maybe…”
Robert held up his hand, “Maybe you should take your own advice.”
“What?”
“Go talk to Debbie. Lay it out there. Finally once and for all. You two have been dancing around each other for too long. Put on your big boy trousers and show her you mean it.”
Andy opened his mouth but no sound came out. He rubbed at his beard.
“I will if you will.”
“Sorry brother, we don’t all get happy endings.” And that was the truth Robert was just going to have to accept.
Andy looked at him and then broke out into a huge smile.
“Yeah. Yeah I will.” He got up from the table, but stopped in the doorway. “You going to be alright?”
“I don’t know.” It was the only answer he had to give. “Now go get your family back.”
He watched Andy leave, happy for him. His gut told him it was going to work out, then again it hadn’t been working properly for him recently. God, love sure did kick your ass didn’t it.
He needed more coffee, stared out the window as he took a large sip. Today was the first day of moving on. He’d figure out how. He was Robert bloody Sugden wasn’t he? When had that stopped feeling like enough?
He heard the front door open, assumed it was Pete, and continued to look out over the fields. It was going to be a beautiful day, maybe that would help.
“You terrify me.” Robert almost choked on his mouthful, whirled around to see Aaron standing there with an intense look in his eyes. He was in ratty sweatpants, a baggy hoodie and his hair was a mess. He looked perfect
“Aaron, what are you...”
“Just let me say this okay, I need to say this.” Aaron shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket as Robert leaned back against the counter. He didn’t think his legs were working properly. He gripped his mug tighter and nodded for Aaron to continue.
“You’ve been everywhere my whole life, even when you weren’t here you were. I always knew it was just a crush, it had to be right? I was fine with it, it was fine. Then you came back and you were so...you.” Aaron’s face got soft for a second and Robert wanted to wrap his arms around him. Wanted to bury his face in Aaron’s neck and breathe him in. “And you’re still everything I want, but you’re more than that, and I never thought it could be more. It scares me, what I feel for you, how you make me feel.”
Robert put his cup down, his hands were shaking. He realized he was standing there, listening to the love of his life confess his feelings, in nothing but a worn tee shirt and some ratty boxer shorts. No suit, no armour and still Aaron wanted him. Just him.
“Please say something.” Aaron was biting his lip, his eyes wide and Robert had to touch him. Just had to. He moved slowly, afraid for a second that he would do something to wreck this, end it before it began. When he held Aaron’s cheeks in the palms of his hand they both sighed.
“Robert…”
“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” He searched Aaron’s eyes and saw nothing but blue and wonder. He took a deep breath and kept going. “I’ve never felt this before, ever, for anyone. I don’t know what to do with it but give it to you because it’s everything I never knew I wanted. I don’t know what will happen but I’m almost certain my family, our family, will choose you if it doesn’t work out. I don’t care as long as you never stop smiling at me. No matter what happens, that will be enough. It makes anything else that comes after worth it.”
“Okay.” Aaron blinked are him, his lips tilting up into that smile. The one that made Robert want to move mountains to be worthy of it.
“Okay.”
They just stood there, Aaron’s hands coming up to hold Robert’s wrists. He kept sweeping his thumbs across Aaron’s cheeks, simply because he was allowed to. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, he was afraid to break the spell.
“So, are you going to kiss me or…” Aaron smirked at him and Robert lost another little piece of his heart.
“Shut up.”
But he did, leaned forward and tried to show Aaron exactly how he felt, every ounce of it. Aaron whimpered into his mouth and Robert pulled him closer. It was perfect, he was perfect and…
“I knew it!”
Robert groaned at the sound of his mother’s excited voice and mourned the loss of Aaron’s mouth when he pulled away. He was going to murder them all, his entire bloody family, they were relentless in ruining his life. Yet when he opened his eyes Aaron was beaming at him, linking their fingers together before peaking over Robert’s shoulder.
“Morning, Sarah.”
Pearl Ladderbanks watched Victoria Barton smiling behind the bar, her hand rubbing over the small bump under her chef’s jacket. They were saying she was five months along, but the wedding had been five months ago and Pearl hadn’t seen Victoria drink a drop of champagne that night.
Not that it was any of her business, because it certainly wasn’t. She did, however, have a friendly wager with Val that baby Barton would be a month “early.” Time would tell.
Pearl didn’t usually have lunch in the Woolpack, especially on her day off, but she’d been hoping to catch that Robert around. She’d finally gotten one of those fancy mobile phones with a camera and video calling. She just didn’t know how to send or post anything. Robert was always kind enough to help her when she was having issues with her computer. He was a good lad.
Over a year ago when it’d come out that the heartbreaker was head over feet in love with Aaron, well Pearl hadn’t been surprised. She’d always known that Dingle would turn out well. He might be a moody one but he was a softy under it all. He never charged her full price for an oil change and just the other day he’d helped her carry her shopping from the car. He still rarely smiled, unless his Robert was with him, then it was all he seemed to do.
Chas had said that the two of them were almost finished their new cottage. Both families had spent months helping convert a barn at the Sugden farm for the pair. Pearl didn’t support living in sin, but times usually changed. Val was constantly telling her to catch up, hence the new phone. Hopefully she’d have the blanket she was knitting for Vic done (in blue, she knew it was a boy, had a feeling about it) before the place was finished. She might make some flower baskets for the lads. Every home should have flowers.
Besides, knowing them the only way she’d get a look inside was if she brought an offering.
They were secretive those two, always whispering in corners or just looking at each other like they had a secret. Young love, she remembered it well.
She fiddled with her phone some more, took a picture of her glass of white wine. She was getting pretty good at it so far, her great niece was always sharing photos of food. Pearl had no idea why and though she didn’t normally drink during the day she could make exceptions.
She glanced up when she heard the door open, glad to see the young men stroll in. Aaron nodded at her but Robert had a deadly look on his face.
Maybe now wasn’t the time to…
“I thought he was the scowling one in your relationship.” Victoria smiled at her brother but her face dropped slightly when he glared back at her.
“Don’t mind him Vic, he’s just being an idiot.” Aaron sure was a handsome fellow, even in his tied off coveralls and grease on his shirt. Especially when he was looking smug.
“I am not.” Robert turned to Aaron, the two of them just standing there right in front of her. She glanced around. She felt like something big was about to happen, and it seemed she’d be the only one to see it. It’d been a while since any village drama had gone down in the Woolpack. Especially a fight.
She looked at her phone and hoped she didn’t look suspicious as she hit video record and angled it their way. For Val, of course.
“Just let it go.”
“He asked for your number right in front of me. Who does that?” Robert still pouted the way he did when he’d been a wee one. Pearl almost expected him to stomp his foot.
“I didn’t give it to him did I?” Aaron took the pint Vic slid his way, eyed his boyfriend over the brim.
“That’s not the point.”
“Now Robert, you’re overreacting.” Vic reached her hand across the bar towards her brother but the look he sent her had her stepping back with an amused expression.
“It was pretty obvious who I was, I asked you if you were ready to go for lunch. To finalize paint colours. For our house.” Robert was tapping his fingers on his thigh faster and faster as he talked.
Pearl watched Aaron sigh, put his glass down.
“He probably thought you were a mate. It’s not like I wear a bloody neon sign that says Property of Robert Sugden .”
“Well maybe you should.”
Pearl grimaced at that, knew their Aaron wouldn’t take kindly to such talk. She was right.
“How about a shirt that says, I’m with stupid ?”
Pearl watched Robert pull something out of his pocket and slam it on the bar.
“How about you just wear this?”
Pearl was almost certain she wasn’t the only one who gasped at the sight of the leather ring box. She gave up being discreet after that, holding her phone up higher for a better look.
“Is that?”
“Yeah.”
“Rob…” Pearl saw Aaron’s eyes get soft, that rare smile of his coming out.
“I was planning on doing this right you know. Been thinking about it for weeks. Then that stupid Jason…”
“Jamie.”
“Seriously, Aaron?”
The mechanic’s smile grew.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
Robert sighed, messed up his hair with his hand. Pearl could see Vic in the background with her fingers over her mouth as she cried. So dramatic that one, had been ever since she was a little girl.
“Well…what do you think?” Robert’s voice was barely audible, Pearl hoped her phone would pick it up.
“About what? You ain’t asked me anything.” If she didn’t know better she would have said there were tears in Aaron’s eyes.
“Dammit, do you want me to get down on one knee? I will, right here...” Robert stepped back and started to kneel but Aaron grabbed him by the arms, hauled him back upright.
“Don’t you bloody dare.”
They just looked at each other for a second, Pearl wondered if they even remembered where they were. It was sweet.
“Yes. You know it's always yes.” Pearl watched Aaron sniff, wipe at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.
“I didn’t ask yet.”
“Do you want me to say no?”
Robert took Aaron’s face in his hands. They whispered something to each other but she couldn’t make it out. Then they were kissing and laughing, and all hell broke loose.
Pearl stopped recording, she didn’t want to get found out. It wasn't so she could wipe at her own eyes. Certainly not. Chas started shrieking in excitement and soon more and more people were in the pub. Andy ran in with Debbie and the kids close on his heels. He hugged his brother so hard he lifted Robert clear off his feet.
When Sarah walked in she was a blubbering mess, kept saying my boys over and over again as she let tears run down her face.
Pearl drank two glasses of the free champagne that was going around, she couldn’t be rude. Eventually she made her way to the young pair when the commotion calmed down. They were just looking at each other and smiling at a corner table, but it was a sight most of Emmerdale was used to by now.
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks, Pearl.” Robert beamed at her. She simply kissed their upturned cheeks and headed back to her table. She wanted to leave them in peace. No doubt it wouldn’t last long. The village did love a Dingle do.
Then she remembered something, stopped and turned back again.
“Oh, Robert?”
He looked up at her, his eyes twinkling.
“Yes?”
“When you get a moment, no rush of course, could you show me how to upload a video to that Facebook thing? There’s something I want to share.”