Chapter Text
Once you were alone with Kirishima and Bakugou you felt nauseous. Panic spiraled. You had been stupid to expect this to go well. To think you could have anything resembling a relationship. You knew Rena and Kirishima didn’t get along- it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. One date and this second relationship was over. You silently vowed to never admit feelings for someone ever again. Hell- if Kaminari hadn’t hurt Toshi you would’ve just switched your fuck buddies to him. Or maybe Hatsumi. Maybe both. Who knew?
“Y/n?” A deep voice rumbled through your thoughts on how many cats your landlord would let you adopt. You didn’t know which of the men on the other side of the bed had spoken.
You jumped as Bakugou poked you again, “WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP POKING ME! FUCKING CHRIST BLASTY ASS. SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.”
Bakugou blinked in surprise before Kirishima laughed lightly. The redhead sat on the edge of the bed. Only now did you notice he was just in pajama pants. You cursed internally that you’d never gotten a chance to feel those muscles.
Goddamn it focus. Clearly his lack of shirt is not the most pressing problem.
Kirishima’s face grew serious again, “I’m guessing that’s who you dated third year? I also thought you were just friends with benefits.”
You sighed and tried to glare at them, “yes. How did you know?”
Kirishima shrugged, “I’m friends with a lot of people. And it’s kinda suspicious when you stop flirting.”
Purple eyes narrowed. He acted like flirting was a cardinal sin- granted you did more than flirt. That still didn’t give him a right to judge. Your voice came out harsh, “I’m not ashamed of my choices- or my life. Who I am hurt someone I love- I don’t need reminders of that- but I didn’t hurt her through my actions. You said it yourself- The whore of class B suddenly disappeared.”
Another small blast popped off Bakugou and fizzled against Kirishima’s hardened hand. You fought back the flinch. Determined to let them keep thinking you were cold and heartless. You could see the jagged edges of Kirishima’s quirk in the light from the hall. You fought back the trauma response- to stay present and defend yourself. You had done nothing wrong yet they were pissed off.
Bakugou’s eyes glinted in the light, “He didn’t fucking say that.”
You stared at Kirishima with a hard look in your eyes, “It was implied.”
Kirishima looked at you- face like stone, “Why was she here at 1 in the goddamn morning?”
Your breath hitched before rage finally overrode the desire to run away. If your eyes could burn, neon purple flames would have burned them. Your voice came out deadly calm, “It doesn’t matter. Because in your mind you’ve decided that you can’t trust her or me. Think what you will Kirishima- it doesn’t change the truth.”
“How the hell am I supposed to feel when the ex you’re in love with can just appear without invitation- when you clearly keep up aspects of a relationship?” You could see Kirishima’s muscles tense as he spoke.
“What I do- or who for that matter- in my free, single , time is my business.90% of our year of heroes knows me at least by reputation. No amount of thinking otherwise is going to change the reality of my history or personality.” Your words were sharp, meant to make him uncomfortable. He knew the rumors- Kaminari had confirmed as much- and Bakugou had gotten the confession.
“That’s not an answer- how would you have welcomed her home?” You could hear teeth grinding as Kirishima pushed for an answer.
“Ei. She said she wanted to check on Y/n. Right?” It was weird to hear Bakugou try to diffuse an argument. Though it was clear he still doubted you as well. And being medicated was probably helping.
“Well trusting that this had in fact been a fucking date- I would’ve watched movies and drank with her. That’s it. Kept her company her first night home. I’d be a pretty fucking horrible friend if I was capable of keeping her company and didn’t. If you decide this wasn’t a date then you can use your imagination.” You probably didn’t need to include that jab, but there was something sadistically satisfying about how it caused them to tense. You rolled your eyes, “I’m a polyamorous bisexual, and despite the assumptions- I’m not a cheater.”
Kirishima was quiet and thoughtful. It scared you.
You sighed, and shifted slightly to look away from them, “I’m going to sleep. I’ll have Toshi and Rena get me home tomorrow. “
Bakugou's hand shot out and grabbed yours, “No you’re not. I didn’t go through a year of existential crisis to have it end like this.”
“Maybe you were right to have a crisis. I told you. This is a curse. I can be happily in a loving relationship and love someone else. “ you tried to pull your hand free.
Bakugou's grip let you go and you pulled your arm under the covers and against your body. You stared at the hallway willing Kirishima to leave and Bakugou to sleep so you could cry in relative privacy.
A sigh cut through your brooding, followed by Kirishima speaking softly, “Would you have told us?”
You huffed, “Eventually. Kirishima, you know my reputation. I agreed to date both of you. Not because I like one of you- because I like both. Somewhere we all three knew this conversation was going to happen. We had a time limit. Bakugou is picky, Up until a year ago you only felt the need to focus on one person. We all knew I was the wild card in this. Even if you knew I wouldn’t cheat- would you be able to see yourself with someone who’s one encounter away from potentially falling for a fourth person?”
You could feel two sets of red eyes on you. You hadn’t built up the trust you wanted to before coming clean about this side of you. Ideally, you would’ve already proven yourself loyal. But maybe this was better, rip the band-aid off before it hurt more.
Bakugou's gruff voice cut across your thoughts as a flash of lightning briefly illuminated their faces, “Would you please stop acting like it’s a curse to have that capacity for love?”
Kirishima and you blinked at him in surprise. What the hell? He hadn’t even wanted this. He agreed to make Kirishima happy.
“Kat?” Kirishima nudged him.
“Seriously! You have the ability to deeply love people to the point it got you a best friend and you act like it’s the worst thing in the world.” Bakugous eyes narrowed as thunder rumbled in the distance, “I’m just starting down that road and I feel like the luckiest fuck on the whole goddamn planet.”
Your eyes went wide in surprise- he was jealous? Of your curse? Then your eyes narrowed, “Have you ever felt unrequited love?”
Bakugou glared, “When Ei would talk about you.”
Your eyes flicked to the redhead in question. His eyes met yours briefly before looking away. You felt something snap in you. More than self-hatred you hated that there was one other goddamn person who knew vaguely what your heart was like and he sat there in angry, jealous silence. You looked back to Bakugou and scoffed, “He never even tried to make a move on me. It was always you. If he ever had feelings for me it was simultaneously with you. He prioritized you. I don’t get priorities. I get rejection. Very few people want someone that is in love with one other person. Much less two. The minute I confessed to Rena we broke up. Want to know why I have two friends? Because they already know how fucked up I am. I don’t have a squad, Bakugou- I have the two dumbasses in the other room. That’s it. Because I know I don’t love one and I can’t get any more over the other than I am now. I can’t get hurt anymore and I can’t hurt others if just those two. Besides, it’s clear my heart is the one on trial here. Red’s made that much clear.”
You took a shaky breath, purple eyes flashing as the storm brewed outside, “Rena and Hitoshi are the reasons I’m here. I was going to never talk to you again to avoid this exact fight.”
Kirishima’s attitude shifted, “She told you to go for it? For us?”
“Just because you don’t like her doesn’t make her the devil Red.” You quipped back.
“She gave you up. For us.” Bakugou's voice was quiet. His words sinking in as rain started pelting the windows. He wasn’t wrong. If you started dating Bakugou and Kirishima- your benefits with Rena would end. And she had encouraged you to go for it.
“Fuck” Kiri mumbled, hand running through his hair. He mumbled something about owing her an apology before looking at you, “you said she wasn’t into poly- you’d actually be just friends if either of you started dating wouldn’t you?”
You nodded numbly in response.
“I’m so sorry.” Kirishima sighed, “that must hurt. And I was mad. I took out my jealousy on you- I’m sorry.”
You blinked back tears, “It’s what it is. She knew this was coming before I did. And you damn well better be sorry. I did nothing wrong.”
Kirishima’s eyes watched the window, and he winced at your tone, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I hate to ask, but I have to know- who’s the second person you loved- who broke you up?”
“Who do you think, Red?” You fixated on a strand of hair falling out of his bun.
“Tetsutetsu?” He said dryly like he thought it was true.
You were torn between agreeing just to keep things simple and knocking him upside the head. Luckily the choice was stolen from you as Bakugou jabbed him in the shoulder, while roughly yelling “YOU, YOU FUCKING MORON”
You were half mortified until you remembered these two had asked you on a date, Bakugou had established Kirishima liked you in high school and confirmed he liked you now.
“Wait! I don’t want to break people up!” Kirishima rubbed his shoulder.
A loud, female, yell overlapped the growing storm, “YOU DIDN’T YOU DENSE ROCK. I DID! NOW STOP YELLING OR I’LL MAKE TONIGHT EVEN MORE AWKWARD!”
You choked. Something had switched Rena’s attitude and you could venture a guess as Hitoshi was silent.
Kirishima looked worried and relieved, “SORRY!” He yelled before facepalming as Rena yelled another warning for yelling to cease.
Bakugou yawned, “Can we please agree we all like each other. And that Rena, while annoying, isn’t a threat.” He turned his head to look directly at you, “And that you’ll tell us if you fall for someone else? And that we trust you to have that conversation and make decisions as a group? I’m fucking tired and would like to not wake up to more fighting. I’m sorry I overreacted. There. Sleep time.”
Kirishima leaned over and kissed Bakugou's head before looking at you. “I’m sorry I overreacted as well. I hadn’t fully considered that you might not be like me and… and care for more people. I certainly don’t like people just appearing in my apartment but I know she doesn’t mean us harm.” His voice got quieter, “I’m sorry you live with that pain. I hope we can help. At the end of the day, we want you happy.”
He paused for a moment before continuing, “Did you really like me back in high school?”
You nodded in the dark, the spurt of energy draining away, “Yes Kirishima. And I hated it. I hated it up until you asked me out. I hate my feelings. I probably always will. I can’t say where this clusterfuck of us three is going but as long as we’re happy I won’t hate the feelings I have for you two.”
Bakugou smiled, “damn right you extra. Now for the love of fuck. Say you agree to my terms and please go the fuck to sleep.”
You chuckled lightly and looked at Kirishima. A swirl of conflicting emotions still hung to you. But fear was slowly being replaced by hope. You extended your hand to Kirishima, “We agree don’t we Red?”
His hand twitched in yours at the nickname, he gave a wide toothy grin, “yes. Now go to sleep Kat.”
Bakugou nodded once and shifted slightly and handed his hearing aides to Kiri. Kiri kissed his head again and then went to the bathroom to put them in their case. He re-emerged and walked tentatively to your side of the bed. Kirishima touched your cheek, “Goodnight Y/n. I am sorry.”
You saw a pained face as lightning flashed, “Me too Kirishima. But we agreed to move forward.”
“No. I’m sorry I hurt you in high school. I was going to ask you out first year. But after the camp- and Katsuki- I felt he needed me. I didn’t realize it hurt you.” His fingers absently found a pink curl and turned it over as he spoke.
You looked to Bakugou's closed eyes. When you’d heard he’d been kidnapped you had panicked. Bakugou was stronger than you and had been taken. But more than that you had feared for his safety. You had nightmares of unknown shadow villains torturing him for days until you got the news he was back. Had you liked him even then? “He did need you more than me. There are different kinds of romantic love Red. You were already way more into him than you realized. Besides I found distractions- he would never have been able to distract himself like I did.”
Kirishima watched you as you spoke. It was clear to him now you cared for Bakugou. In fact, he should have noticed sooner. He had been too worried in the hospital to question why you had sat with him fresh out of your own surgery. When you turned your head back towards him he cradled it gently and then smiled mischievously, “Hey we survived our first fight and it was about how you love someone else! I think that bodes well for us!”
You glared at him-trying to ignore the fact his hand was massive, “ Fuck you Red. I’m going to sleep.”
You closed your eyes and jumped slightly as he chuckled and brushed his lips across your forehead again, “Promised Kat I wouldn’t kiss you until he could also.”