Chapter Text
2009.
The light turns red and Josh barely registers the change in color as he runs right through it.
His mind is elsewhere, full of excitement and worry and a bunch of other emotions he’s never even felt before. He should get used to it, though; there’s quite a few things he’s about to experience for the first time now that he’s about to enter a whole new phase in his life. He didn’t know when he woke up early this morning and kissed his wife goodbye before he left for work that his world would be turned upside down like this.
Well, he did know — he’s known for a little under eight months now —, but he didn’t know it would happen today, of all days.
He didn’t know Donna, who still had two full weeks to go before her due date, would suddenly go into labor right as he was out on a meeting on the other side of the city. It’s a good thing he didn’t turn off his phone and took the time to answer when he saw she was calling him. She was calm on the phone when she told him that my waters broke, we’re already on the way to the hospital, meet me there but Josh definitely wasn’t. Never in his life did he leave a place as fast as he did then (not even back on the very early days of their relationship, when she invited him to her hotel room on the night before they made their guy President and he ran after her to catch the same elevator — he’d missed his chance once already, he wasn’t about to do it again ), even though his meeting hadn’t technically ended yet. Some things are more important to him than work these days.
Plus he’d missed out on so many things regarding Donna through all those years of not dealing with their feelings, he didn’t want to miss out on anything else anymore, and definitely not something as huge as the birth of their first child. Even if he had to break the law and run through red lights for that.
(He knows for a fact she didn’t hesitate to do it for him as well in the past — also while she was on her way to meet him at the hospital, actually.)
While driving through the streets of D.C. and cursing at everyone who dares slow down his journey towards his wife and future baby, Josh can’t stop thinking about how the last eight months actually passed by in a blur. He thought the wait until the moment he would finally be able to hold his kid in his arms would be excruciating but it ended up being quite the opposite. Each new month of a life growing inside Donna’s belly brought its fair share of exciting (sometimes terrifying too, to be honest) news and discoveries. He remembers every key moment — but also some more random ones — like it was yesterday: from the first ultrasound to learning about their baby’s sex (a girl!) or finally sharing their secret with their friends and family as well as feeling her kick for the first time.
It felt a little surreal, to be able to live through all of that, and to do so with Donna, who he had had to love from afar for so long. But not anymore: now, they’re going to be parents. Together.
Truth be told, she wasn’t a planned baby. Rather a surprise one. It doesn’t mean she wasn’t wanted — much like everything else in their relationship, the baby talk came on quite early, perhaps earlier than any other couple usually have it. But it made sense for them: after so much build up between them and so many years wondering whether or not they would actually get there someday, once they started dating, they left nothing out of the table. Nothing would have been worse for them than to finally get together, and have nothing getting in their way anymore, only to realize a few years down the line that their views on the future and things as important as marriage and family don’t align. So, they knew they both wanted kids.
They also knew that they’d like to wait a little before having them, what with their demanding careers and all.
It doesn’t mean the news of Donna’s pregnancy didn’t come as a good surprise, though. Josh can still picture the look of unmitigated joy on her face when she announced one fine evening upon his return home that she was pregnant with tears-filled eyes. His own vision started blurring quickly with the emotion brought by her words and, in a fashion similar to the first time he kissed her, his lips found hers before he could fully process what he was doing — acting on nothing but a very excited impulse.
“You’re pregnant?!”
“Yes.”
He didn’t have to feel guilty about kissing her, this time. On the opposite: he kissed her again, and again, while his hands found her belly and he marveled at the idea that a life that was half each of their own had just started growing in there. He whispered I love yous to her ear — words made for two now — and she reciprocated them right back with the most brilliant smile shining on her face.
Josh was the happiest man on earth that night. Actually, he’d felt that way ever since he and Donna started dating and he got to experience all those new aspects of their relationship.
Now, though, the one thing he’s feeling guilty about is not being with his wife. He should already be with her instead of trying to get to her as fast as he can. He should be the one driving her to the hospital and supporting her through every contraction she’s getting, giving her his hand to hold at every red light they come across.
But he is not — and thus, runs right through said red lights.
(Not every one of them, obviously. It wouldn’t help anyone if he had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance instead of getting there all by himself.)
He almost canceled his meeting this morning, when Donna told him she was feeling a little sick. But she insisted it was nothing and he should go to work as usual, and so he did. Not before making her promise she’d call if she needs him for anything first. And now here he is, stuck in the D.C. traffic on his way to his most important meeting ever.
Until he is not anymore.
He hurries out of his car as soon as he’s parked and doesn’t waste any more second to run towards the hospital’s front desk and ask for his wife’s whereabouts. It occurs to him, as he not-so-patiently waits for the nurse to give him the precious information, that the last time he rushed to a hospital like this was also for Donna.
It was under much sadder circumstances, though, and at a time when he still had to play the I’m a very important person card to get to see her instead of simply stating that he’s her husband.
(How he’s loved that title — husband — from the first day he got to wear it. He’s loving it even more right now. He’s Donna Moss’s husband, and they’re here to deliver their child.)
Times truly have changed for the better. Josh couldn’t be more grateful for that. He has such bad memories with hospitals but this is at least a happy one that he knows will outdo all the others in his mind, taking away some of the darkness that surrounds them.
“Room 727,” the nurse’s voice brings Josh back to the reality of the moment. He’s in there in record-time.
“Thank God,” Donna breathes out when he locks eyes with her. He approaches her with a beam spread across his face, and immediately grabs her hand when he’s by her side. He barely registers Annabeth’s presence there nor does he hear her excuse herself to give them some space and privacy — all of his attention is focused on Donna, and Donna only.
“How are you feeling?” he asks softly. With his free hand, he pushes a strand of hair away from her face.
Her grimace of pain is enough of an answer already, but she still tells him, “Like crap.”
It makes Josh smile fondly as he strokes her arm. “You don’t look like it.” She rolls her eyes at that, but he still sees how her lips turn upside despite herself.
She has the most beautiful smile. Maybe their daughter will inherit that smile. If that’s the case, he’s screwed — there’s nothing he’ll ever be able to deny her with a smile like that.
(Who is he kidding? He won’t be able to deny her much no matter what.)
They keep talking for a while, with Josh finally there to answer his wife’s every need and helping her through the most painful moments. Then comes the time to push, and he’s still there, pushing the hair out of her sweaty head and whispering words of affirmation to her ear all the while never letting go of her hand. In the end, it’s hours and hours spent in that small hospital room before the world goes quiet for a time, only to start turning again when they hear their daughter’s cries for the first time.
She’s here. All pink and tiny and perfect and ready to come rock their lives.
Josh watches with his heart full as she’s being put inside her mother’s arms. There are tears of joy running down his cheeks, but he doesn’t even feel them, too focused on the scene in front of him to think about anything else. He’s now a dad — and even though he’s been for less than five minutes, he knows he’s already obsessed with her.
(She has that in common with her mom, already. This ability to make a home inside his heart so soon after meeting her.)
“Here. Hold her,” Donna says after a while spent watching her in silence. He’s quick (yet very careful) to grab her, and suddenly all is good and bright in the world as he marvels at her.
“That’s our baby,” he says in a whisper when he looks up at Donna.
She smiles in return. “Yes.”
“That we made.”
“Yes.”
“Together.” He doesn’t think it’ll ever not amaze him.
In front of him, Donna beams, eyes switching towards their daughter and reaching for her with her hand. He’s soon to follow her gaze, unable to keep it away for too long, and focuses on the way her tiny finger curls around her mother’s. “I love you.” He’s still looking at their newborn when he says it, but really he means it for the both of them.
His wife and his kid.
(Josh didn’t stop at the red light, and got to the hospital right on time to hold Donna’s hand through the whole process of welcoming their daughter into the world. And when they leave the place a few days later, ready to go home, he’s very careful to drive as slowly as possible and stop at every single one of them this time — even the yellow ones. He quite enjoys it, actually.
Because it allows him to look back, if only for a few seconds, at his wife and daughter, and be reminded once again how lucky he is to share a life with them.)