Chapter Text
(You really need to stop)
“Nah Peri I think I got it,” the young girl whispered unlatching the wooden cabinet. Pulling a large bottle of velvet red wine from it, hoping that nothing was stirring in the house besides them. Also grabbing the small device to uncork the drink they acquired.
“We’re really doing this?” Peridot questioned clearly more than slightly frightened of the course of actions they were beginning. With a pitch black room engulfing them besides their flickers of cell phone light eyeing the area around them.
“Yep now let’s go,” Lapis murmured taking her small hand and guiding them towards the door. Effortlessly opening the sliding glass door ushering each of them out of the house.
“Where to?” a casual question with a bit of life sprucing up each word.
“Anywhere together right?” Lapis affirmed back taking the lead in a direction she was familiar with. Large smiles splayed out on each of their faces as they raced from their Monday night and any other issues.
“My dad’s going to kill us, you know that right?” hand in hand they walked in the moon filled night. Each step lead further from the cement and into different gravel paths with rocky steps they tempted their fate with each breath stolen from the pure night.
“Only if he finds out right?” Lapis teased her own words dragging the other girl closer into a quick hug. Moments like that were peaceful and this moment they both stopped to look at each other. Those green eyes could steal the show of any magician because they always seemed to make Lapis’ problems disappear.
“You took his favorite wine Lapis,” Peridot complained back with a toothy grin. It looked so foolish then again what else would they be than a couple of fools running into the night together.
“Whoops wasn’t me,” Lapis kidded picking up their pace once again with the first few steps, staring back into the eyes that reflected glimpses of the moon.
“You always get caught anyways and I take the blame,” Peridot slyly spoke back, running to catch up to her before pelting her with a hit to her side.
“Ouch you wound me, yeah it’s because your parents pity me too much,” Lapis whined mockingly sad. A forest was within view, their own little hang out, an innocent little puddle a tad too small to be considered a lake.
“I can’t stay out too late tonight, I have a quiz tomorrow in math and last time my parents didn’t appreciate my grades on finals.” Once again a mimic of pain in her voice as they she playfully shoved Lapis, looking up with puppy dog eyes.
“Well maybe you shouldn’t indulge in all my adventures,” Lapis spoke back before she started walking all wonky with each step misplaced. Making her torso shake a little bit along with her head moving all over the place. “Per- peri you almost made me spill my dri… drink,” Lapis joked before walking her usual way.
“Sounds like a, you problem,” Peridot said back sticking out her tongue before latching their hands back together again. It’d been that way for a while that they had held each other’s hands.
“Well it’s about to be your problem as well if we have to go get another one,” Lapis winked back at her flirtatiously. Lots of her craved to just run up and hug her and begin kissing all over her so she did part of it. Peridot had a rock that she usually hung out at their almost lake hang out and she was already there.
“Lapis!” Peridot screeched as Lapis ran up and threw her arms around her and began picking her up and shaking her around. “God dammit let me go!” Peridot shouted as Lapis gave her a brief peck on the side of her face. That always caught the blonde off guard, this time they looked each other in the eyes for a brief moment.
Stars bouncing off the water beside them and joy emitted from each of them, all could be shared in that moment was a smile.
“Clod if you do that again I’m going to make out with you,” Peridot threatened, a little bit of teasing fun they usually did to each other. Little bit unusual of Peridot to be the one on the offensive though for it, usually she was much too shy to say anything. Such an innocent night, reminded by the beating heart that provided butterflies to Lapis’ mind.
“Yeah sounds good to me,” Lapis wanted to take the risk and do it but instead pulled herself away with both of them laughing. Looking down at her hand she had the bottle of wine held in her hands with dark blue painted nails. Pulling off the cap and unscrewing the cork with the weird device shoved in the back crevice of her pocket. “First sip yours or mine?” Lapis asked pushing the drink forward, a little bit more difficult to get her drunk but sometimes it worked.
“Fine…” Taking the drink forward the blonde had a quick gulp. Her outfit held a black skirt from their school uniform and a red and green shirt from the very same place. Meanwhile the rebel Lapis wore a black coat over hers that often aggravated the teachers in warm temperatures. Dress code is dress code but that also requires caring about it. “Your turn alright… Lapis,” Peridot said annoyed as she held the drink out for a moment.
“Sorry lost in my thoughts, like always,” Lapis declared. Taking quite a chug from the open bottle. A little bit of an acquired taste for an interesting effect.
“Yeah you air head,” Peridot complained lifting up her head as she stood atop the small boulder she appreciated so much.
“At least I’m not a child that clings to a rock to make you feel tall,” Lapis winked at her once again which drew her flustered state out at last.
“It’s not because it makes me feel taller, it’s just nice alright.” She muttered defending her small area as if the feelings of the boulder were being belittled.
“Remember when, we snuck out our first time?” Lapis asked basking in the light of the night sky before staring to the stars herself.
“Well of course, when we got caught trying to sneak back in, we were a wreck…” Peridot mumbled not relishing in the memory like Lapis was. They had swam in the lake in their clothes, over the weekend so at least they weren’t school clothes. That night every turn made her heart flutter like it was peering over the edge of the world.
Stealing a hand for the first time as a subtle lie to say for comfort when it was to engulf her head in more butterflies. More of that innocent feeling of joy from being around the one you love, the one you treasure, the girl that makes it hard to breathe or speak. Few words were said that night but getting lost in the new found lake was an experience they found together.
(Yeah I remember, Lapis?)
“Yeah, I remember your dad talked to us for like half an hour straight, you looked like you were about to cry.” Lapis began laughing over the course of events. Their hair had been matted and they were shivering from the cool breeze they shared, and till the moment of the opened door both of them felt warm on the inside.
“I was about to cry, that had been the most trouble I’d been in up to that point,” Peridots jaw was wide open as they relived those memories together. “I remember you snuck over for the next week each night and apologized,” Peridot lowly spoke. Loosening her face into a sincere smile.
“Well I couldn’t just lose my best and only friend, I’d do it again at the drop of a hat to make you happy.” It was genuine and Peridot had left her rock and walked over to Lapis standing just before the lake, one of her favorite things to be near, and the lake was pretty cool too. “Want to stare at the stars with me with legs in the water?” Lapis asked with a cheeky smile.
“That’s all you ever do here nowadays.” Peridot happily said stealing back the bottle for another quick few sips as they slid out of their shoes. Wearing a soft genuine smile, before she fully sat down.
“Well I’d ask you if you wanted to go for a swim, Mrs. We have school tomorrow.” Lapis quickly placed her legs in the water along the edge with her hands holding her back up as they looked to the sky together. Once they had found this place they came here regardless of the weather, bringing blankets and other assortments of things to keep them warm.
“I’m sorry I don’t like going to school in soggy clothes, anyways we’re already going to get caught for this,” Lapis blocked off Peridot with one of her hands before quickly taking it away and taking over.
“Exactly so why not go down in flames,” she decreed back waving her hand through the air as if it were a shooting star. They each dreamed on that scenario differently, one asked for fun the other asked for lessen consequences.
“You’re already flaming as is,” Peridot dully shot back giving a sly look over her shoulder. Lapis’ blue eyes could stare at the green ones all day especially in this lighting.
“How so?” She asked taking the bottle off the ground for a few quick stolen sips. Effects hadn’t hit her yet and that was okay, the night was glorious as is.
“Well you’re the only kid in our school with colored hair…” Peridot said trying to defend her previous statement.
Constant visits to the principle happened because of her hair and it’s interesting. When you’ve been in trouble so much that people start to excuse it, they didn’t care anymore and that was fine. She could be free to be who she wanted within the first few weeks of each term with everyone there giving up on her, besides one.
“Really?” Lapis pulled her face back questioning the blonde in her attempt to judge her appearance.
“Yep.”
“Wow my hair is dark blue, big deal… next thing you’re going to call me a whore,” Lapis let out with a brief laugh. It felt free with the only eyes on her being ones of care for the most part…
“Wait you’re not?” Peridot questioned which granted her a quick punch on the shoulder. Two routes could be taken, either admit it or deny it… What fun is it to deny something?
“So was this wine your payment then?” Lapis said bringing her body up and starting to walk on her hands and knees over to the other girl. Placing her hands along her shoulders, staring each other down with only a few inches in between. Peridot always lost it when it came to staring contests.
“Uh… Lazuli…” Few seconds in the tension felt as if it was pulling them together and it was surrounding them but in between their noses nothing. Free space that could be fallen into easily complicating things a bit further. “Get away you whore,” Peridot joked pushing Lapis away and backing up at the same time.
“Fine,” Lapis conceded backing up, once again they were in their regular positions with their hands within reach of each other. A wine bottle was a very good reason not to hold hands at the time as they counted stars and lost count of sips.
“Hey Peridot?”
“Yeah?” Their eyes not leaving the stars both of them in a state of ease without any worries in the world at the moment.
“How irritated do you think your parents would be if I stayed the night tonight?” Lapis carefully asked connecting the dots in the sky with her own stories.
“Did you do your homework?”
“Why does that matter?” Lapis began laughing as she heard those words penetrate her thoughts.
“Well if you haven’t and your parent complain that you hanging out with me causes you not to do your work then….” Peridot complained but Lapis just ignored it. The black in the sky was so easy to lose focus on and then just paying attention to the other small details of the world like words.
“You know them… they aren’t going to say a single word,” Lapis begrudgingly said back. At least that allows me to have you right?
“Fair enough… I worry about your grades too y’know. Next year is our last one and this one is already half way over… how many credits do you need again?” Peridot asked clearly a bit worried, that wasn’t the mood they needed with a half empty bottle.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find a way I always do. Might have to do some summer school though,” Lapis scooted a little bit closer so that she could wrap her arm around the small girl. It took moving the red wine into her lap before they could gaze while in contact.
“Is it starting to hit you yet?” Peridot asked, she felt a bit hungry in her actions as she was inching into the side of Lapis.
“Nah I’m not a light weight like you,” Lapis taunted, while her mood had swayed a little bit with joy and the other essentials of being tipsy. Small amounts of pleasure pooling in her hazy mind as movements were less judged.
It was nearly impossible to get her to drink with her for the first time, it took a lot of convincing. In particular it took calling it an experience that she could take off her bucket list before she took her first sip. Cheap beer stolen from the blue haired girls parents, that’s about all they ever drank back home and all it ever smelt of, that and cigarettes. Once a month or so they would also steal those.
“Yeah, yeah whatever you say,” Peridot said clearly a little bit wobbly but still wearing a smile and that’s all that mattered. That her precious friend was happy, whatever happened they’d be happy together.
(Lapis it’s late)
“Alright just a few more minutes, want a cig while we’re out here?” Lapis asked pulling one from a small carton she stored in her black jacket. Once a month or so, she would be able to steal a few from her parents but neither of them really liked them. They more so just liked the feeling of freedom on their choices, with that an open hand extended.
“Let’s only have one, we can share it and I don’t want a full one anyways.” They never discussed why each of them had one, Lapis could only assume that it was the same reason as her, it felt free. See through red lighter in hand, holding it up to bring a small essence of life to the inanimate object.
With a light inhale and closed eyes the smoke filled her lungs, it didn’t taste that good nor did it feel the best but it did have effects. The already tipsy calm ran through her body with another flavor of feeling, her nerves completely silent to any bother.
Trading it once again they each enjoyed the few breaths, the cigarette burned out quickly just like their night, but the only difference is that their night wasn’t left in ashes. Only left in the safe haven of Lazuli’s few good moments, all that rested with the blonde and one more risk may have been worth it.
What’s the worst thing that could happen? Alcohol and lack of sleep a killer mixture for allowing thoughts to drift to life.
“Hey Peridot,” Lapis spoke aloud drawing attention to herself with the cute blonde with a mess of hair and a burnt out cigarette in her mouth. As the blonde began to take out the freedom from her mouth, Lapis gave her a soft peck on the cheek. “Whatchya gonna do about it?” The blonde looked flustered and Lapis didn’t care she took the step forward.
With a mere fistful of air between them and a subtle smile anchoring her thoughts as present. A soft connect mixed with a harsher reality.
(Lapis you know we can’t do this)
“Peridot, I love you…” Lapis let out in a soft voice her hands shaking.
“Mrs. we’re going to be closing the bar down soon you really need to get out of here,” grunted an older man with a short grey beard.
“Alright one second just let me finish this call,” Lapis half pleaded while waiting for a response from the person on the other end of the line. Her head was killing her with a three day long hang over and puffy eyes.
“Really at a bar Lazuli… We’re through, we’ve been through and you need to stop calling me, I’m done.” The other voice rang through loud and clear over the sounds of Lapis’ stifled sobs with a constant flow of tears running down her cheeks.
“But Peridot we’re great together, remember the last night we snuck out together, that was great wasn’t it?” Lapis desperately pleaded to the silence on the line. “Please don’t leave me, I’m sorry. I’m just so…” breaths were breaking free causing audible sounds to others of her pain. At least there was no one around her besides the bartender.
“That was in high school, bye Lapis, don’t call me again.” Like that the call had ended leaving her with the noises her body was involuntarily making and beeping of her phone to signify the end. A storm of depression searing through her body, making any movement a huge task.
“Can I have one more glass…?”
“You’ve had enough,” the man stubbornly said before leaving her side. I really haven’t had enough yet and that’s the problem… Her chair felt like stone just causing pain to her body as she hunched over the bar wrapping her head into her own arms.
Picking herself off the bar a bit later and leaving, she sat just outside the front door stealing a cig from her pocket. The addiction freely fell, being one of the last ones in her pouch. Guess the bill on tonight will be food for the next month.
Cold reality of the situation was that crying in a dim lit bar for hours trying to recollect the good parts of your life didn’t change what it currently was. It hurt that each hour her hands shook if she wasn’t force feeding herself cigarettes, the last similar feeling of reciprocated affection that she had.
It hurt, each moment alive had hurt for a while now with the only solace being when she wasn’t able to think to herself. Gazing down at a phone with less than ten contacts and less than three that would even respond.
Her feet hurt but they were the last thing that she could rely on to keep herself up. Regardless of the pain she hated looking at her reflection in her small screen, all it showed was a drunk and a failure what else could she even be…? With a quick sigh looking over herself she still had her final thought.
Blood shot eyes that haven’t been able to focus past tears in days could still see blurry images. Hands that shook could no longer carefully put things together but they still worked that’s what was important. Her looks may have faded slightly with unkempt hair that was only blue along the edges by this point, but she was still the same girl as before. With those hurt feet she could still chase the only thing she cared about, but tonight she was going home alone once again.