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"You're my brother, and my friend. Sometimes, I'm envious... But never doubt that I love you."
It's strange for him to dream suddenly of this. Thor is not one for dwelling on the past, he never has been, no matter how much he may miss it. By now, Thor has come to terms with the fact that, by the time Loki said those dear words, he had already set his plans in motion. Despite knowing all this, despite knowing it was prompted by his own accusation ("You are incapable of sincerity", it still rings hollow in his chest when he thinks back to it), Thor can't help but think, can't help but hope that perhaps Loki had been sincere.
It's a fool's hope, but he holds it all the same.
In the large bath, he pulls off his sleep-clothes, stepping beneath the scalding spray. It pounds down on his shoulders, a steady pulse that strips the sweat from his skin and the weariness from his mind. Leaning against the wall, tiles cold beneath his palm, he reaches down between his legs to take himself in hand.
His strokes are methodical and quick, nearly clinical, a means to an end. Merely a part of his morning routine. Before Thor's shut eyes he starts off with nothing, then breasts, bums, slender waists and long necks. The soft brush of Jane's hair, the way she fits so small between his hands, her wet heat clenched tight around him.
"Now give us a kiss."
Guilt twists through him, ruining the aftermath of climax, and he rinses himself clean, trying to touch himself as little as possible. He finishes his shower in record time, roughly toweling off before dressing. Thor hesitates at the kitchen door before deciding to leave the Tower entirely. He isn't sure he'll be able to face anyone, at the moment, should he encounter them. There is, however, a cafe nearby he's heard Steve speak highly of, and without his armor and cape, most don't seem to recognize him.
There are few out and about this Sunday morning, and Thor is quickly given a seat outside where he can see the Tower. It's a lovely day, the sky clear and the air crisp, and he shuts his eyes as he waits for the coffee and sandwich he ordered for breakfast. He can hear the sound of cars, though there are far fewer out than usual, the wind through the trees and the cooing of pigeons. Not far is the sound of a child's laughter, the lower register of adult voices speaking as they meander down the sidewalk.There's the sound of a step much closer, from behind him, and Thor opens his eyes to greet the waitress with a friendly smile.
It freezes on his face.
Settling across the table from him is a slim figure, made all the more slender for the tailored fit of his suit. He's nearly overdressed in this small coffee-shop, but Loki holds himself with such grace and confidence none would spare more than a passing thought on that.
"Loki," he says quietly, voice rough and his mouth dry. Loki glances up, then lowers his eyes again, impassively stirring a packet of sugar into the coffee he has before him. It's his coffee, Thor realizes suddenly, and his sandwich Loki seems to have commandeered. "What are you doing here?"
Loki brings the cup to his lips and sips at it before making a face and setting it down. Even that looks elegant on him, and Thor suppresses the thought as quickly as it had arisen. "Having breakfast," he finally says, voice as smooth as it had been in Thor's memory. "Though this is foul. I cannot understand why you like it," and he slides the coffee back towards Thor.
Thor takes it, not looking away from Loki. Loki, who has picked up half of the sandwich and is eating it daintily, dabbing the mayonnaise away from his mouth with a napkin. He doesn't speak again, and Thor sips mechanically at his coffee, still staring. It's quite odd to be sharing a meal with Loki again; they haven't done it so easily since…
Since when?
He can't remember.
It doesn't take long for Loki to finish eating and he licks his lips, Thor's eyes tracking the motion, before he rises to his feet. Thor hastily stands as well, but he doesn't dare touch his brother, swaying lightly in place. For the first time all morning, Loki properly meets his eyes as he leans in, a smirk twisting his lips. "Now give us a kiss," he exhales, the words barely audible on his breath.
The last time he'd said those words, Thor had laughed, taken them for the jest they were. Now, Loki's eyes burn bright and mad, lashes dark where they're half-lowered, and Thor loves him all the more for it. He closes the distance between them, the table still bumping up against their hips, and brushes a soft kiss across Loki's lips.
They're cold.
When he pulls back, Loki's eyes are wide and startled, and Thor thrills in knowing he'd taken Loki by surprise. But the moment passes and Loki's expression shutters once more. He purses his lips, opens his mouth as though to speak, and snaps it shut in the next moment. Straightening the lines of his jacket, Loki draws himself to his full height and steps away. Thor watches him go, resigned, and sinks back into his seat.
Loki had left him half the sandwich.
"You are not my brother, and no longer my friend. Often, I'm envious… But never doubt that I love you."