Chapter Text
Release wasn’t something Sara had experienced since waking up from her 600 year sleep. She’d hit the floor running with no end in sight and barely had time to even register that her dad was dead and Scott was in a coma. Coming to Andromeda was supposed to be a new beginning for their family, but how was Ryder supposed to start that by herself? She was almost grateful that she had been so busy, there was no time to feel, no time to mourn or worry. Sara had too many people counting on her, too many people needed her. Dealing with her emotional issues could come later.
Lexi, the doctor on the Tempest, did her best to help Ryder, but it all felt clinical, like an evaluation of sorts, too cold and too distance to really provide any comfort. She barely knew anyone on her ship well enough to open up to them, so it all stayed bottled up inside, tucked away, growing slowly. Sara needed something to happen before it all exploded.
“Ryder…” Peebee’s voice pulled Sara from her thoughts, the pathfinder allowing herself to relax for the first time in weeks.
“Yeah…” They were close, drifting inches apart. Sara wanted to reach out to the asari, to pull her close, but she hesitated. They’d flirted, but the pathfinder wasn’t sure where the lines started or ended.
“There’s something else that would relax me.” In reality, sex with Ryder probably wouldn’t relax her, the thought both excited Peebee and made her nervous. Peebee didn’t know Sara extremely well, but well enough to know she was just as stressed if not more and a release was exactly what the two of them needed.
“What’s that?” Sara’s heart rate had increased, which was the exact opposite reason they were floating in the escape pod, but if Peebee’s intentions were what Ryder though they were, she couldn’t help but feel excited. She’d noticed Peebee the minute she’d straddled her on Eos, their attraction had apparently been mutual and her feelings for the asari were a pleasant distraction, something that made Sara feel normal, even if only for fleeting moments.
“That’s the spirit.” Peebee slipped above Ryder, her muscles relaxing as the lack of gravity stretched her out. She hadn’t intended to draw Sara in, but it was too late now, they were far too close and Peebee needed to cut the tension between them.
“Want to fool around?” It wasn’t the asari’s smoothest line, but Sara made her unsure of herself in a lot of ways. Her normal confidence fading to nervous excitement around the Pathfinder. “Doesn’t matter if you have something else going on, I can be utterly discreet.” Surely she wasn’t the only one lusting after their leader? Peebee reached out, pushing against a wall to ensure she didn’t hit her head. “Just fun, two people blowing off steam, no strings attached, only if there’s no strings.” Peebee didn’t like strings, strings ended up strangling you, they hurt and she and Sara had dealt with enough pain since they’d awoke to last a lifetime.
“That’ll be fun.” And Sara believed what she said, but there was a part of her that wondered what strings with Peebee would be like? Her mind wandered back to what Lexi had said about the other asari, that she avoided commitment. The last thing Sara wanted to do was ruin this moment. She could handle no strings, right? It was, after all, just for fun, something to help her let go a bit?
“Okay then, say no more.” Logic didn’t matter here in this room. If they said no strings, they both meant it, regardless of how hard that may make the future, it was what they both needed to hear in that moment, neither person having the ability to carry the weight of anything else. She used her foot to push herself a bit closer to Sara.
“Oh, you mean now, here?” God, Ryder was so cute sometimes, Peebee thought, reaching out and wrapping her arms around Sara’s waist. The last time they had been this close was the day they met and the asari felt her body buzz at the contact.
‘You do know what ‘say no more’ means, right?” And with that Peebee pressed their lips together. Sara tasted sweet, just as she had imagined, at least how much she’d let herself imagine about the pathfinder. The asari was so lost in their kiss she didn’t notice they’d floated down towards the left bench.
“We’re floating right into the--” Their bodies collided with seats, Sara’s back taking the brunt of the impact.
“Ouch, who cares.” Ryder didn’t, she couldn’t. Peebee was kissing her. Sara needed to feel more, it had been so long since she’d had real contact with another body, her skin was on fire. She tugged at Peebee’s belt, loosening it, the asari’s coat opening to reveal soft blue skin. Sara wasn’t exactly experienced in this sort of thing, but she could feel what she needed and simply let her desire take the driver seat. Her mouth left Peebee’s, moving downward, capturing the asari’s nipple between her lips.
“No strings, right Ryder?” Peebee inhaled sharply at the touch. She was holding onto a railing from the bench, head tilted back, allowing Sara full access to her body. This was exactly what she needed, what she wanted.
“No strings.” Sara’s words hummed against Peebee’s skin. She’d say just about anything in this moment to make sure it never ended. If Peebee didn’t want strings, there wouldn’t be strings. Ryder wasn’t even sure what strings would mean and right now, she didn’t care.
Peebee attempted to strip Ryder, wanting to feel skin against her own, but the pathfinder took the asari’s hands interlacing their fingers, letting her mouth tease Peebee’s breasts. The asari moaned, her senses overwhelmed with the sensation of Ryder all over her.
Sara wasn’t sure what was taking hold of her, but she needed Peebee, every fiber of her being was reaching out to the asari. She knew the other woman wanted to touch her, but Ryder was on a mission. She let go of Peebee’s hands, hers traveling south to unhook the asari’s belt.
“I want to feel you.” Peebee’s plea was hard to ignore, so the pathfinder quickly tossed aside her top hoping this would satisfy her companion before resuming her path downward. Getting undressed in zero gravity was more of a challenge than Sara could’ve imagined, each motion propelling you in a direction, but with some work, Ryder managed get Peebee naked. Pushing off from the ground, Sara pinned the asari to the ceiling, holding her in place by gripping Peebee’s hips with one hand and a safety bar with the other.
“Someone’s determined…. I’m not complaining.” Peebee reached out, running nails down Sara’s back, enjoying the warmth from their bodies touching. Ryder slipped a leg between the asari’s, putting pressure against Peebee’s core, causing her to buck her hips into Sara’s.
“Fuck…” Peebee cursed, driving her body hard against Ryder’s. She had intended to let Sara go first, but she was too lost in her desire to care now, the pathfinder taking charge felt too good to interrupt.
Ryder let go of the rail, keeping one hand against Peebee’s lower back, holding the asari firm against her, fingertips slipping between them.
“Yes… Please…” Peebee could feel Sara’s hand ghosting against her sex, the light touch only making her wetter. She needed Ryder inside of her and the waiting was killing her. Sara must have sensed her need, hearing the desire in her voice, because she slipped two fingers inside of Peebee, curling them upwards as she heard the asari cry out her name. Hopefully the escape pod’s walls were thick or she may not be able to look at Suvi or Kallo for a while.
Hearing her name on Peebee’s lips only drove Sara even more crazy, her hand moving faster as their bodies lightly bounced against the structure of pod. They would both have bruises, but neither woman cared, everything felt too good, a little pain wasn’t a bad trade off.
“Sara… I… shit…” Peebee was close, she hadn’t realized how badly she’d wanted Ryder until the woman was fully inside of her, bodies smashed together. Her climax came far too quickly for Peebee’s liking, but there was no stopping it, wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her, one hand reaching to grab a rail as she anchored them to the wall, the other hand digging nails deep into Sara’s flesh.
Peebee’s head was spinning as she came down from her high, Ryder still inside of her as they floated, tangled in one another. “That was… damn…” Peebee was breathing heavily, trying hard to ground herself as much as one could in zero gravity. She wanted more… needed more from Sara, but she found herself unsure what to do next.
SAM had other plans though, interrupting their activities.
“Pathfinder, Tann is requesting your presence at the Nexus immediately, there is an emergency with the Angaran Representative at the cultural center.”
Sara sighed heavily, fingers slipping out of Peebee, causing an aftershock to roll through her companion's body, the asari twitching slightly, burying her face in Ryder’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to leave…” Sara ran a hand down the back of Peebee’s neck, fingertips ghosted over her crests, forcing her to shiver again at the contact.
“I don’t want you to go either… I had plans…” Sara smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Peebee’s lips. It was probably too sweet for no strings, but Ryder hadn’t thought about it before she’d done it.
“Later, maybe? Duty calls…” Sara untangled herself from Peebee, both women instantly missing the contact.
“Definitely later. Can’t have you leaving unsatisfied…” Peebee winked as Sara reached down, pulling herself to the floor before taking the asari’s hand and tugging her down next to her. “Back to reality.” Ryder entered a code and the pod regained gravity, clothes falling to the floor.
Peebee gathered her clothes and began to dress as Sara did the same. She wanted to reach out to Ryder, to kiss her again, if only to taste the sweetness she already missed, but that wasn’t part of no strings right? No strings was just sex, sweetness not included. Her rules? She had to follow them.
Sara turned towards Peebee after they were both clothed and smiled. “Later Peebee.”
“Later… yes.” Ryder exited the escape pod and headed to the bridge. Peebee sighed, glancing at POC. “Don’t give me that look… I know what I’m doing.” The bot made a noise. “What do you know? You’re just a bot.” The machine made what almost sounded like a sad noise. “You’re right, I’m sorry, you’re more than a bot…” POC buzzed happily.
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Ryder could’ve gone back to Peebee after the call with Tann. It would take a day to get back to the Nexus, but the moment had passed, the pathfinder was far too stuck in her head again to let the asari close, for now.
After setting a course for the Nexus, Sara headed to her cabin, locking the doors and asking SAM to be sure no one disturbed her unless it was an actually emergency. There was soft music playing as she stepped into the shower, the warm water cascading over her skin. As the liquid hit her back, she arched forward, a slight sting surprising her. When Ryder reached up behind her, she felt the scratch marks Peebee had left in the wake of their passion. She found herself smiling as she touched the small cuts, instantly missing the cause of them.
It had felt so good to feel someone else, to know that even if she felt as if she was floating, that contact could anchor her back to… Earth? No… Earth was no more, all they had here was Eos, Voeld, Havarl, worlds that weren’t really there’s, a home drifting in space didn’t feel much like a home. Sara ran her hands through her wet hair, the weight that had disappeared just a little while ago had returned with full force, Atlas like pressure driving her downward.
Thousands of people were expecting her to find a home for them when Sara was slowly losing hers. Her mother… gone. Father… gone. Scott… Sara felt her eyes well up, tears beginning to mix with the water from her shower. She could do it, she could find the initiative a home, but would that be hers too? How could it be if there was no one to share it with?
Sobs began to rack her body, Ryder gripping onto the metal walls to stabilize herself. She’d thought that the moment with Peebee would’ve helped relieve some of the pressure she’d been feeling, but instead, it opened the floodgates and Sara wasn’t sure she knew how to close them. She wrapped her arms around her body, hoping to comfort herself as she slid down the shower wall, sitting on the cold floor.
It took her almost half an hour before she was able to pull herself together enough leave the shower. Sara didn’t even bother getting dressed, pulling back the covers of her bed and sliding underneath the sheets. Curling into a ball, she laid in bed, wishing she could’ve been anywhere but there.
After twelve hours, there was finally a knock on her door, waking Ryder from a restless sleep.
“Dr. T’Perro is requesting entrance, Pathfinder.” Sara sighed.
“Tell her I will be with her in a minute.” She stood up, moving to her dresser as the door slid open.
“Medical override granted.”
“Sara… is everything okay?” Lexi was not phased in the slightest at Sara’s bare body, instead, more concerned about why she’d been practically missing for so long.
“Umm… could you turn around for a moment, Lexi?” The doctor sighed and turned to face the SAM node.
“I am a doctor Ryder, you are not the only naked person I’ve seen in my life. Please. You missed out physical, I am concerned.” She tapped her foot, waiting for the answer.
“I’m fine, doc. Promise. Just needed to rest. I was feeling exhausted.” Sara had tugged on an initiative set of casual clothes and was now sitting on the edge of her bed. “You can look now.” Lexi spun around, worry evident on her face.
“This is unlike you, Sara, locking yourself in your room for over half a day without a word.” The doctor lifted the scanner up to the Pathfinder’s face, the clinical motion angering Ryder.
“Lexi, stop!” She reached up and covered the omni-tool with her hand, pushing the doctor’s arm gently down. “Please. I don’t want to look there or here, I don’t want to be stuck with another needle, I just want to be left alone.” The pleading look in her eyes tugged at Lexi’s chest. She could tell Sara was not okay, but at least not she was sure it wasn’t exactly physical in nature. In all honestly, the doctor had been expecting this moment for some time. There was only so much weight one person could bare, pathfinder or not.
“I am sorry. Automatic response. Would you like to talk about it?” Sara’s eyes were bloodshot, obviously from crying. Whatever ‘rest’ she had gotten hadn’t done much god. Lexi knew she needed a shoulder to cry on, or maybe to bear some of the burden that was drowning her.
“No. Not this time. Not now… or Not yet…” Sara knew Lexi only wanted to help, but there wasn’t a way to put her pieces back together just yet, they needed to be broken, she needed to feel this. She’d spent too long avoiding it.
“We will be at the Nexus in 7 hours. Would you like something to help you sleep?” Sara wasn’t ready to talk, Lexi could respect that, for now. But the least she could do was help her rest.
“Yes… please.” Sleep sounded so far from Ryder’s reach that any help she could get, she’d gladly take. The doctor nodded and returned within minutes with a simple pill.
“This will help, dreamless sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re beginning docking procedures.” She handed Sara the pill and a glass of water.
“Thank you Lexi… for everything.”
“Of course, Sara.” Lexi smiled at Sara before leaving the pathfinder to rest. She’d leave this part out of her Nexus reports. It wasn’t necessary and the last thing Ryder needed was others worrying about her.