Phoenix

by Xenodike

Summary:

It’s a nineteen hour drive from San Francisco, California to Evergreen, Colorado. When Jensen drives out of the roundabout and onto the compact dirt road leading towards the two thousand four hundred and fifty-six acres of The Phoenix Ranch, it’s nine o’clock in the morning and he’s been traveling for twenty-three hours straight.
 
Coming home to the ranch Jensen left ten years ago, he has to face his past, present and decide what he wants going forward. All while juggling a baby, a broken relationship, his grandpa, dad, part-time stepmom, four uncles, a cousin, the mother who abandoned him and Jared fucking Padalecki.

It’s complicated…

Notes:

• Translation into Español available: Phoenix by Ainis_Adr

Disclaimer

1.

In this story there's mentions of mental health issues. Despite the research I’ve done, I’m not a mental health professional and I make no claim that my portrayal or description is accurate. If you have been diagnosed or are close to people diagnosed, please understand that I’m aware the issues I depict in this story are infinitely more complicated and multifaceted then I portray in this story.

2.

There are no Disney villains in this story. If you like your stories black and white with the line between good and bad clear and uncomplicated, maybe this is not for you. This is a story about real people who are complex and capable of both good and bad actions and choices. There are a lot of gray areas and no heroes or villains, only people doing the best they can.

Author Notes

Archiving: This story is posted at my fan fiction journals on Dreamwidth and Livejournal and here on AO3

Rec’s and links back to this story is always appreciated but I don’t want it posted or archived anywhere else, please respect that.

 

Music: As always there’s a playlist with the music that’s been playing while I wrote this story.There's a separate lists to every chapter but you'll need a Spotify account to be able to listen.

Art by: meus_venator

Acknowledgments

 

Trendykitty - thank you for being my ever present sounding board, for challenging and pushing me out of my comfort zone. Listening to me whine and comforting me when I’ve had a breakdown over my characters. For talking me down when I’m neurotic and smacking me over the head when I’m being ridiculous. As always, you made this story so much better.

June, Somer, Miliana. Joanna, Peachjensen, Okey, Laalanik, Sentinentmonster, Shackles & Padlocks and everyone else over at Twitter who has read my whiny, neurotic posts and commented, encouraged and cheered me on while I wrote this. You have no idea how much it’s meant and helped on those days when my confidence was non-existent and I was sure I can’t write. Or the days where I’ve hated every single word of this story. Your enthusiasm and certainty that you would love this story, long before it actually became one has been an invaluable boost to my confidence. Thank you so much. I hope you’ll like it as much as you think you will.

To every person who’s ever commented on my previous stories. I know most of you think your comments are something I read and forget about as soon as I have. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve read every single comment I’ve received on every single story at least a hundred times. I know some of them by heart. For every Tweet or LJ/DW post whining about my writing there are at least twenty times I don’t openly express my lack of confidence or my doubts about my ability to write. Those are the times I go back and read all your lovely, lovely words until they convince me again that I’m not terrible at this.

 

So to all of you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

 

And finally

This is the longest story I’ve ever written, and it’s taken over my brain like no other. It’s full of characters, both familiar faces and new ones, all demanding their own place in this story. In truth this is more a family saga then a J2. I know the length and the large, unknown cast will dissuade a lot of readers. But for those of you willing to dive in, welcome to The Phoenix Ranch, I hope you’ll enjoy getting to know the family that lives there.

 

Xenodike

 

Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

In nearly every great civilization exists mythology about a bird of fire. The ancient Egyptians had Bennu, who was born in the flames of a burning holy tree standing in the temple of the sungod Ra. The Persians had Huma, known for its compassion and to bring good fortune. In Hinduism, Garuda served as a chariot for the god Vishnu, the beginning of all souls and worlds.

The Greeks, Romans and in time, Christians, had the Phoenix.

The bird is a stunning creature with long beautiful feathers, it’s color ranging from a bright, fiery crimson to royal purple. It’s been the symbol of ancient gods and medieval kings, known for bringing peace and as a symbol of virtue and unity.

In China, Feng-huang symbolizes completeness and the joining of yin and yang.

The essence of this magical bird and the thing joining each of these incarnations and civilizations, eons and continents apart, is the possibility of rebirth. The bird is said to hold an unnaturally long life. When it ends, it’s engulfed in flames and then from the ashes is reborn.

As she walked across the never-ending stretch of land, all two thousand four hundred and fifty-six acres of it, the woman in billowing skirts lifted her hands to her hair and freed it, letting it fall down her back in a waterfall of dark curls.

She held her hands turned towards the ground and let them rest at the sides of her hips as she walked across the land, the long, untouched grass tickling her palms. Every direction she turned was wilderness. Empty, unspoiled wilderness.

There were no factories spitting out their filth into the air, no carriages making the streets unsafe and turning them into mud soiling the hem of her skirts. They might be just plain cotton, but still, she wanted them clean.

Here there were no loud noises from the taverns, no drunks or prostitutes littering the alleys. No husband falling in through the door, the stench surrounding him telling her that the week's wages were already gone.

Everything was new and whatever came out of it, would be up to her. Looking down at her feet on the small boy sitting by them, she smiled and then turned her face up to the sun and spread her arms, as she reveled in a freedom she’d never before experienced.

Here, she would build her home and leave a legacy her son could build on. Under this Colorado sun she would become engulfed in flames and be reborn into the person she had always wanted to be.

On these two thousand four hundred and fifty-six acres, she would build The Phoenix Ranch.