Chapter Text
Isak walked through the patches of green with those yellow flowers. He had no idea what they were called but they were pretty. The big building infront of him always made him feel like he was in a different time. It didn´t feel like Oslo 2017. More like a castle in 19-something. And it was true – in there was another world. With strict rules. A place that Isak visited every weekend but was glad to leave again.
„Hi, Isak! How are you?“ the young girl at the counter, Mari, smiled at him and handed over the clipboard for Isak to sign.
„I´m good.“ the boy signed the paper and got a visitor batch in return. „Was thinking of going on a walk with her.“ he said as he put the batch on his grey hoodie.
„That sounds nice. I´m going to ring her doctor to send her down.“ Mari picked up her phone and Isak nodded in thanks. He made his way further into gaustad sykehus and looked around for a place to sit and wait. All the seats had been taking by patients so he walked out into the courtyard. He would still have a good look into the entrance.
The bench that was half in the sun, half in the shadow and opposite to the entrance was the bench he sat on most of the time he was here. Today it was occupied as well. By a boy wearing the same grey clothes that every patient wore. His blond-ish hair was messily hanging in his face. He was bend over a skatch book and drawing with a concentrated look on his face. The boy looked beautiful and Isak couldn´t stop himself from walking over and sitting next to him.
„Hey!“ Isak said and looked on the skatch book only to see a perfect picture. Of him. Well his face but – that was him! „oh“ was all he could say.
„Shit.“ the deep voice mumbled and the book was closed. Isak looked up to see beautiful blue, wide eyes. His heart did stupid things to him seeing how frightend the boy infront of him looked.
„No, it´s okay! That was really good. Did you draw it?“ Stupid question. Of course the boy draw it. Isak wanted to slap himself.
„I … yeah.“ Oh what a lovely voice he had. „You´re not … freaked out?“ he asked with unsure eyes.
„My mom is a patient here and she´s been this way since I was born. It takes a lot to freak me out.“ Isak said without thinking. The boy infront of him looked back down on his book and played with the edge that was a torn. As if he had been playing with that corner a lot.
„Mr. Valtersen?“ Isak looked up when he was called and saw his mom´s doctor with her behind him. She looked good. Better than last weekend when she spent two hours explaining to Isak why him being gay was a sin and what he should do to stop being gay. It was a tiring sunday.
„I ehm … my mom is waiting.“ Isak pointed in the direction of his mom and stood up. „But … mhm … it was nice meeting you.“ Isak pushed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and turned to leave when the boy on the bench didn´t answer.
„Hi Mom.“ Isak hugged his mother and let her have the moment. It had take him a while to get to this point. When he was younger he didn´t understand why his mom would do or say those weird and hurtful things. It was really bad during his coming out phase. But now he understands why she is like that and that it isn´t really her or anyones fault.
„I thought we could go on a walk? Outside?“ Isak asked his mom but had a sidelook on her doc. His mom smiled at her son, liking the idea.
„It´s a good day for that, Isak. Have fun!“ The doctor had his pager in hand and left them. Isak looked back at the boy on the bench that was back to drawing. Just the look of him made Isak want to protect him.
„It really is a good day today, isn´t it? The sun seems really warm.“ His mom got him out of his thoughts and back to the real reason why he was here.
„Yeah.“ Isak knew her doctor meant her mental state and not the weather but he let her go with it. Smiling at his mom he started walking outside of the hospital. Something he only was allowed to do because the doctors and stuff around here knew him quiet well and his mom had proven to be better when she had spend some time with her family.
„Can we get some ice cream? You like that, right?“ There were things that Isak liked better but he was happy that his mom was starting to act like a mother again so he didn´t say anything.
„Yeah, sure. There´s an ice cream pailor down there.“
~*~
„How was your mom?“ Jonas asked that night when the both of them had dinner at McDonalds.
„Alright. I think she wants to learn again how to be a mother but it takes a while.“ Isak shrugged. He was thankful for that but he still felt a distance between them that he didn´t know if he could ever overcome.
„Give her time. You both need to learn to be mother and son again. And she´s still not well.“ Jonas was the only one out of his group of friends that really knew where and why his mom lived. His friends only knew that he visited his mom once a week. Not where. Not why. But Jonas had always felt more like a brother to him. He knew most of Isak´s secrets.
„There was a boy there.“ Isak said and busied himself with the fries on his tray. He had to listen to all the girl storys his friends told him. They would survive Isak´s boy storys.
„Cute?“ Jonas asked. There was a time where it was awkward. Where both didn´t know what to say when Isak liked a boy. Because Jonas didn´t really know what the right response was and Isak didn´t really know how to be comfortable and gay. But that was almost two years ago. Isak and Jonas both had learned. Learned through mistakes and misunderstandings. But they got at a point where Isak bringing up liking a boy was absolutely normal.
„Very. Super handsome. I think he saw me often there. When I was waiting for mom I sat next to him and he was drawing my face.“ Isak looked up to see Jonas eyes full of questions.
„Isn´t that a bit creepy?“ he asked.
„No, not really. I don´t know I think I grew up with creepy and weird and freak-ish. Him drawing me was … nice I guess.“ Isak shrugged with only one shoulder.
„What´s his name?“ Isak shrugged again in response.
„I don´t know. He asked if it was weird and I said I grew up with weird, a drawing of my face won´t freak me out. He shut down after that.“ Isak went back to analyzing his fries.
„Oh Is.“ Jonas looked at him with sympathy.
„What?“
„He´s a patient there, Isak. And if he´s drawing you I´m sure he likes you. Or at least would like to get to know you. You saying that you grew up with weird is just … it´s like all you´re mom is to you is weird and crazy. All that that boy will ever be to you.“
„What? No! I don´t even know him!“ Isak made sure to defend himself.
„Can you for once not block very citicism you get and think? Because you most likely hurt that boy.“ Jonas stole a Chicken Nugget from Isak.
„I didn´t mean to!“ Isak complained.
„Tell him, Is! I don´t need to hear it.“
~*~
The next time Isak went to visit his Mom he had a bag of McD's with him. He tried his best to not let Mari see it but with no luck.
„What´s in there?“ She asked as she took the signed clipboard back but still had the visitor batch in her hand.
„Nothing.“ Isak said. Mari just tilted her head to the side and give him a „don´t shit me“ face. „Look, I fucked up with this boy and need to apologize, okay?“ The girl was around his age and only working here for a year as a volunteer after school. Surely she would understand how easy it was to fuck up at their age.
„Who?“ Mari asked and Isak tipped his head back with an annoyed sigh.
„I don´t know his name. He was sitting out there last weekend drawing.“ Isak pointed in the direction of the bench they first met.
„Even? He´s drawing all the time. You´re lucky he´s allowed to eat what he wants. He´s in Room 712. He went back up after lunch. It´s your best shot to knock at his door. But don´t overwhelm him, okay? He want´s out of here not stay longer because of some dude.“
„So much faith in me.“ green hazel eyes squinted at Mari before he finally got the visitor batch and walked up to the elevators that Isak always found a bit wrong in the setting. This building looked so old – might be Hogwarts – and had elevators.
He pressed the Number 7 – same floor his mom was on – and suddenly felt really nervous. What if Even didn´t want to see him? Didn´t like the food? Didn´t accept his apology? Isak didn´t even really want to be best friends with him. Just have him somehow in his life. Waving at this beautiful boy whenever he visits and they cross paths would be enough.
Before he could talk himself into a panic attack the bell in the elevator rang and he walked out of it. The floor was empty, which wasn´t surprising. His Mom was in 722 so Isak at least had a slight idea of what directions he had to take to get to Even´s room. It turned out to be the last room on the floor. The door was wider apart from the next door than the rest of them. Did Even had something that made him dangerous? But he didn´t look like it.
Isak knocked and waited. There was no answer. So Isak knocked again.
„Leave me alone.“ came the moody answer. But Isak wouldn´t do with that. He just brought food in here which wasn´t even allowed. He sure as hell wouldn´t leave with it.
„Even? That´s your name, right? It´s Isak. Well, the boy from yesterday. You´ve been drawing me? I just … I was a dick. Can you open the door please? I´d rather apologize to you instead of a door.“ Isak said and would´ve felt stupid for talking to a closed door if he wasn´t actually in a mental hospital.
No … answer.
„C´mon! I swear I´m not mad or freaked out or whatever you thought. Please open? I got you something.“ Isak really liked gifts. Maybe Even did too. But the door kept close.
„Alright. I´ll just put it infront your door, okay? My mom is waiting so … yeah. Just open it soon okay? I´m not really supposed to bring you that … okay. Bye!“ Isak walked down the floor with a sinking feeling. He had hoped to chat with Even. Or at least see him again. But there was a reason why Even was here. He shouldn´t have thought this was going to be easy.
His mom´s room was almost at the complete opposite end of the floor. When he knocked under the plate with the number 722 he knew the door would open. He didn´t know what would wait for him on the other side but at least he would be let in. Isak looked back to Even´s room and saw the bag disappearing into the room. With a soft smile Isak felt a bit lighter walking into his mother´s room.