Chapter Text
"Okay, we're going to try a different exercise today, is that alright?"
The Counselor didn't receive a response right away, not that she was expecting one too quickly. This monster she saw every Thursday night was always on time, never gave up any information without being asked and always thought carefully before he agreed to anything, She sat opposite of the monster, she in a roll away desk chair that she would every now and then pull her feet up into and he in a soft blue colored chair. Well, for today anyway. every session between himself and the counselor woman began with him in a different chair each week.
The skeletal monster thought thoroughly before responding, going over the pros and cons of answering the question she had for him and what could possibly happen should he answer differently than she wanted. He looked across the room to stare at her. The woman was older than some humans, she had greying- dirty blonde hair and wrinkles that only showed around her eyes. Her clothing consisted of a wrap around sweater, grey, and a pair of pants other humans called yoga pants. She wore slip on crocs, light blue, with bright green socks beneath. She was eccentric, always going out of her way to seem different. She didn't huff or groan when he took his time answering and alway waited with a calm, warm smile.
"...I suppose" he grunted out, uncharacteristically slouching in the soft chair he sat in. Arms crossed over his chest and legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. His attire had calmed down a lot since reaching the surface. he still wore his breastplate underneath a black turtleneck sweater and slacks. His boots were exchanged for a nicer pair of shoes but his scarf remained. It was at this time the Counselor saw the monster slouch down and bury his chin in the scarf. Inwardly she winced at the disability she'll have when he chooses to speak again but continued.
"Good." She wrote note down on her clipboard. She was always taking notes he noticed. Never was there a minute she didn't have the dumb paper and pen in her hand. "I would like you to close your eyes, can you do that?"
The monster pulled himself up and straight-backed in the chair. He grunted and let his eyes slip shut after securing the four corners of the small, well-lit room.
"Great! now what I would like you to do is tell me what you see"
"What I see..?"
"Yes, what is the first thing you think about when you close your eyes?"
The monster hummed and titled his head slightly like a puppy would do upon seeing a treat. His sockets squeezed tighter and released when the counselor asked what he saw again.
"I see me, sitting on a throne.."
"A throne? where is it? what's around you?" He felt she was coming on too strong, rushing him with questions but he answered them anyway.
"THE throne. The kings, Asgore. He is nowhere to be seen" His sockets squeeze again and release "There are monsters, bowing to me or dead I can't tell"
The counselor waited on his continued explanation.
"I can't see anything but red surrounding us, dust is thick in the air"
"Do you think the monsters are dead?"
"NO! it's the dust of the king...it lays grossly, covering the flowers that once bloomed brightly" His fingers gripped the arm of the chair, a headache forming. "The king is gone, but I didn't kill him.."
"Did you want to kill him?"
"NO! no.. I wanted..peace..for people to stop killing others. I wanted to take over and be a better ruler.." He released the arms he was gripping and folded his hands neatly in his lap. "I wanted sans to not be afraid anymore. Of anyone, especially me. I thought.." He paused to take a breath. The counsler waited a moment and spoke when Papyrus stopped.
"If it's too much we can-- "
"I thought that if I became the king that people would leave sans alone, that he might want me to be his brother again.."
"Papyrus...who killed the king?"
"I don't know..."
"Was it sans?..do you see him?"
"No.. my brother would never.."He vaguely remembered a time when he was younger and watched his brother take out another monster for their own safety. He wants to say he knows sans would never do such a thing but after they drifted he could be certain of nothing.
"No I think it was someone else.. I can't see their face. Sans is by my side, behind the throne. He growls at the monsters that come too close... He's slouched over as usual, but so am I like I'm tired of something"
"Maybe being king isn't all it's cracked up to be?"
"Maybe..." He offers no real response to the question. He could never know what it's like to be a king, or at least from what he remembers. The scene is so vivid it's almost convinced Papyrus that it was real.
"Why do you think sans doesn't want to be your brother?"
Papyrus kept his eyes shut, pulling at his own still gloved fingers. "I...i would say really nasty things to him...and hit him. I-it wasn't because of anything HE did... it was a tactic I used to protect him...but we didn't speak when we were in private. It was like he didn't want to even look at me.."
"Why did you think, you did that? Protect him with violence?" The counselor learned horrendous things from her monster clients, how violent the underground was, the kill or be killed mentality. She learned how scummy the living situations were in new home and how abandoned the people felt by their queen, the guard but mostly by their king, asgore. She learned that the king was just an old monster who grew bitter through time.
"I am the capt- or I was the captain of the royal guard, people looked up to me. They hated me."
"How could the people do both? Hate and love you?" She scribbled more words down on her page, pausing to take a minute to think and write another sentence down.
"I protected Snowin from undyne, she could get a bit crazy but at the same time, we were one if the most well off people; sans and I" he looked up, opening his eyes. He let them go hazy as he stared at the wall behind her.
"Do you still hit sans? Or say anything mean to him?" Papyrus winced at what she had implied but was quick to answer.
"NO! I wouldn't dare.. I did that for him! I was showing people that they couldn't use him against me! I helped him!" The outburst left the skeleton panting.
"Do you love him?"
"W-what?"
"He's your brother right? Do you feel that you could stare him in the eye today and tell him? How much you appreciate him and that you're sorry?"
"Of course I can! I am very great after all l!" He crossed his arms and while still sitting in the chair posed. The counselor never could figure out how he got his scarf to flutter.
"So how about, this week.." she flipped the paper over to write on the paper below it and grabbed a paper clip from her desk behind her to join the multiple pages together. "You try to show how much you appreciate sans, and maybe tell him that you do care for him"
Papyrus avoided eye contact, looking out the window to the rain he was bound to meet outside. Thinking about how the lazy bastard was probably on the couch, sleeping like it was the last time he'd be able to. The snoring echoing through the house.
"Could you do that this week?" Looking back at the greyed woman he decided then that he would do everything in his power to show sans what he means to him.
"I will." He grunted when the woman clapped once in excitement and turned to pull out her calendar. Settling their next Meeting, he rose and bid the woman goodbye. When he first started coming here he was embarrassed, less than thrilled to have to come and talk to some stranger he didn't know every week. But he feels he's come so far since then.
Sans had signed him up without his approval. His brother said it would be good for papyrus and even went as far as signing himself up too. Sans is his older brother, after so many years of pulling the team he was glad that sans was doing something on his own he just wished that they had talked first. After learning everything he has with the woman he sees he's glad that sans had signed up too. He could read sans like a book cover to cover and papyrus knew that something was off.
Exiting the building he scoffed at the rain, remembering that he would have to walk home. He pulled his scarf up to his nose and rested his elbows in his hands. He jumped when he heard the horn of a car go off, looking up it was sans with that smile he always wears. The smirk said 'i know i did something bad, what are you gonna do?'.
Papyrus sighed and let a small smile form under his scarf. Moving towards the car to enter the passenger seat he saw the surprised face on his brother and asked sans to drive him home.
"Boss? You never let me drive?" Sans only spoke once they were on the highway home. Papyrus had looked into apartments in the city at one point but upon seeing sans face at the lack of stars he broke and they bought a house towards the mountain in the woods.
"Shut up sans" he squeezed his hands into fists and cursed at himself as an after thought.
"Shutting up boss" sans gave a small grin which faltered when he saw from the corner of his eyes that papyrus gripped the ridge of his nose.
"Papyrus?" He switched his eyes back and forth from the road to his brother evenly. "You okay bro?"
The car was quiet, sans had at one point thought that he wasn't about to get an answer. It wasn't until the had pulled into their long driveway. The dirt road was bumpy and did nothing for the cherry red corvette. The house came into view and papyrus replied.
"I love you sans" there was an audible gulp from the taller skeleton as if he were afraid of rejection. "I just want you to know at I appreciate all that you do for me... a-and I'm sorry... for all the shit I put you through.."
Papyrus waited on edge for his brother's reply and almost started to cry when his brother parked the car and exited without a word. The inside was dead and the air tasted stale.
Just as he had closed his eyes and bowed his head into his scarf the passenger door opened to a teary sans, Papyrus soul thumped, the sound pounding in his ears.
"Papyrus" sans grabbed papyrus by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug " thank you"
Papyrus pet his brother's skull, not exactly what he wanted to hear but he knew that these things came with time. He would have to regain his rother's trust and show him, not only through words but with actions, that he could be the brother he once was. He let his head fall into his brother's shoulder and sobbed in relief.
"Thank you"