Chapter Text
The sun hasn’t even risen yet when it starts.
Vex feels off. She’s felt off for a couple days now. She’s not sure how else to describe it. Nausea, definitely, but something else beneath that. She wishes she could pinpoint it, but currently she’s consumed by the overwhelming feeling of oh gods I’m going to vomit.
She untangles herself from Percy’s arms and sits up, a hand settling on her stomach. She slinks out of bed, shaking like a leaf as she leaves the warmth of both the blankets and her husband’s arms. Trudging blearily to the washroom just off their bedroom, she grabs the bucket she’s had sitting aside for the past couple of days after she started to feel like she was coming down with something.
She barely manages to get to her knees before she’s gagging. Well, she thinks miserably, at least she made the right call and got out of bed.
After a couple of minutes she feels a gentle weight settle in behind her, warm and familiar.
Percy pulls her hair back for her, bunches it up loosely in his grasp so it’s out of her face. His other hand settles comfortingly between her shoulder blades. “My dear?” His voice is barely above a murmur, low and concerned as he brushes his thumb back and forth across the thin fabric of her sleeping shirt in a soothing manner.
“I’m fine,” Vex manages, as if just a moment before she hadn’t been vomiting into a bucket.
“I can see that,” he says, although the dryness of his response doesn’t do anything to alleviate the worry in his voice. “You seem completely fine. Absolutely nothing to worry about here whatsoever.”
“Nope-- hrgg--” She gags before she can get any further, and before she knows it another wave of sickness hits her and her face is back down in the bucket again. The hand on her back begins rubbing in circles, a calming contrast to the other thing that’s happening.
“Dear, you’re sick,” he says after a moment, letting this wave of nausea begin to pass.
“Mmf fine,” she says, words muffled into the bucket with her head still ducked down.
“No, Vex,” Percy says, putting on the no-nonsense voice he rarely ever uses with her. “You’re not. You’re sick.”
She sniffles and clears her throat, trying to ignore the unpleasant feeling of her nose running and eyes welling up because of this entire ordeal. “I can’t be sick. I have patrols to do--”
“Not anymore,” he says firmly.
She bristles instinctively. “Who else is going to do them?”
“You’ve trained a competent group of recruits. They can fend for themselves until you’re better.”
“No, no, I can still do my patrols.”
“You are a brilliant and capable woman but even you can’t run patrols when you have to keep vomiting every thirty seconds.”
“This will pass,” she insists, voice bordering on desperate. She has never missed a Hunt patrol and she takes pride in that. She serves her new home with all she has, tries her best to give back to the city that’s given her so much in such a short time.
“Even so, you shouldn’t. What if it aggravates whatever has you sick and it gets worse? Any of your Huntsmen will tell you the same. Cassandra will tell you the same.”
She sniffles. She knows he’s right of course, but that doesn’t stop her from feeling awful about it.
Percy’s quiet for a long moment, his hand still absently rubbing circles against her back despite the sickness seeming to have passed for now. Finally, he says, “You know I’m only saying this because I love you and I don’t want you to get hurt, yes?”
She sighs. “Of course I do, darling. Of course.”
“When I do something stupid that endangers my health, you’re the one who always tells me to take a step back-- and even if at the time I’m a bit annoyed that I can’t continue what I’m doing, I also know you’re doing it because it’s for the best and because I’m being a bit dense.”
“Oh gods,” Vex says softly, slumping back into his arms so her back is pressed against his chest. He loosens his hold on her hair and moves to loosely wrap his arms around her. “We’ve traded places, haven’t we?”
He chuckles a little. “You’re pulling a Percy, dear.”
She buries her face in her hands. “I’m pulling a Percy.”
He says, “Let me call Pike to see you here, okay? She’s still in town for now and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”
Vex lets out a long sigh before nodding. “Alright.”
“You might’ve just caught a stomach bug or something. It could be gone in a day or two. That said, I’d rather Pike make sure. And besides, I’m sure whatever it is, she can help.” He presses a kiss against her temple, warm and sure behind her.
The thing about Percy, she still finds after all these years, is that he calms her in a way that nobody else is capable of, settles her nerves and worse thoughts when nothing else can.
She hopes she never loses the burst of warmth in her heart whenever it happens.
Pike shows up with herbal tea, some healing spells, and some good old-fashioned medical training a half hour later. Vex’s nausea has since passed-- and luckily it stays gone throughout Pike’s chat and checkup-- and she’s been left feeling pretty good considering how she started this morning.
Halfway through Pike checking her over, she frowns. Vex almost asks but the little cleric simply shakes her head, clearly dismissing whatever it is she thinks she found. And then it happens again, and this time the frown doesn’t go away.
“Alright,” Pike says finally, nervously wringing her hands as she looks her over. “I’m about to tell you something and it’s probably going to freak you out, but I need you to stay calm for me, okay?”
Anxiety churns in the pit of her stomach and for a moment she worries she’s going to puke again. Instead, Vex puts on her best everything-is-fine smile. “What? Are you going to tell me I have some flesh-eating disease? A deadly virus?”
Pike grimaces. “No. Quite the opposite, really.”
Vex raises an eyebrow. “Well, out with it then.”
“You’re pregnant, Vex.”
Silence.
Vex laughs. She laughs loud enough and suddenly enough to scare Pike, making the poor cleric jump.
“Vex?” she questions, looking worried as she takes Vex’s laughter in.
“You’re-- you’re kidding,” Vex says after her sudden laughter finally subsides, a smile still pulled tight across her face.
“No, Vex.”
She laughs again, higher-pitched this time. “You’re fucking with me. Is this-- is this Vax? Grog? Vax and Grog?”
Pike reaches out to take Vex’s hands in her own, leaning in closer with a serious expression. “Vex, look at me. Would Grog-- actually, wait, ignore that. But would your brother prank you with this? Something this serious? And would I go along with it?”
The near-hysteric laughter fades, her eyes settling on where Pike’s hands hold hers, the earnest look on her face. There’s not a bit of humor in it. Vex feels a sudden chill creep up the back of her neck. “No. No, you wouldn’t.”
Pike squeezes her hands. “Have-- have you two talked about this happening? I mean, I know you’re married, but--”
She runs her tongue over her bottom lip. “We… have touched on it.”
Well, that’s not a lie. But it’s not exactly the truth either.
Like a lot of things with Vex and Percy, they’ve danced circles around the topic without actually talking about it.
The closest they’ve ever gotten was a conversation shortly before they got engaged-- which was an entire debacle in itself, involving them both stressing each other out, a walk in the woods, and an accidental double proposal, but that’s a different story-- when they were coyly waltzing around questions of the future.
(“Did you ever think you’d live in a big manor like this?” Percy asks, absently rubbing circles against the bare skin of her arm as they lay together in bed.
She nuzzles closer to him, tucking her head beneath his chin. “No. Well, maybe when I was younger-- like, very little. I used to dream about living in a castle.”
“Fascinating,” says the man who could sleep in the castle owed to him by his blood at any point but instead chooses to spend most of his nights with her in her comparatively small house. “Did you ever dream about marrying a prince?” he teased.
She rolls her eyes. “Or a princess. I’m not picky.” He snorts. After a moment she gives a little shrug. “For a time.”
In truth, any dreams of marrying royalty or nobility had been dashed the day she and Vax were taken away by Syldor and they faced the reality of their birth, of the truth behind many brief affairs between nobility and peasantry. It had been a wake up call to say the least.
Lately, though, there’s been something creeping around the corners of her mind that she’s scared to put a name to, scared to acknowledge. Admitting it’s there makes it real, and she isn’t sure if she’s ready for that. Maybe someday, maybe even sooner than she thinks, but not quite yet.
Percy chuckles softly. “Given up on marrying the prince then? Or the princess?”
She smiles despite herself, that nameless thing skirting at the edge of her mind. “On the prince or princess? For quite some time I’m afraid.” She clears her throat. “Not to, um, say that I’ve given up on marriage entirely. I just don’t think it’ll be with any princes or princesses.”
She feels him tense briefly against her for a moment, but in another he’s relaxed again. “You, ah, think marriage is still in the cards for you?”
She bites down on her bottom lip, her fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt. “With the right person, I suppose.”
“Right, right, of course,” he says quickly, and she feels regret bubble up in her stomach that she can’t see his face the way that they’re laying. “You can’t just marry anybody.”
“No,” she agrees. “It would have to be somebody I get along with well, somebody who treats me like an equal. Somebody who’s basically one of my closest friends and knows me better than most everyone else.” She picks at one of the buttons on his shirt with her thumb, unbuttons it only to button it again. “Somebody I love with my whole heart.”
The hand Percy’s been using to trace patterns against her bare arm smooths down so it’s resting against her, his thumb slowly stroking back and forth. “I think that’s… very fair.”
Vex clears her throat. “What about you?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you ever seen yourself getting married?”
Percy’s quiet for a long time. Finally, he says, “I never used to. When I was younger I thought I would be lucky enough to avoid getting married off for political gain since I was the third born and known for being less interested in ladies or lords and more in my books and inventions. I wasn’t… a very desirable bachelor, I suppose. Too absorbed in my own studies and work to have time for romance, Vesper used to tell me. And that was fine.” He gives a little shrug. “I don’t know. Lately I’ve been thinking and-- well, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. With the right person, like you said.”
She shifts where her head rests so the strong and steady thump thump in his chest is audible. “Somebody you love with your whole heart?”
He squeezes her arm. “Exactly.”
She shakes her head. “I couldn’t just marry somebody for political reasons.”
Percy sighs. “It’s commonplace among nobility. More people marry for political advantage than for love, although supposedly many find that love grows between them eventually.”
“But how many never find love there?” Vex counters. “You can’t just… force love. That’s not how it works.”
He shrugs again. “Some are more lucky than others. Sometimes friendship forms, and from that love.”
A thought snags in the corners of her brain and she bites down hard on her bottom lip before she asks, “Percy?”
“Yes dear?”
“If things were different, do you think you would enter into a political marriage? If it benefited Whitestone? If your parents were around and they wanted it?”
He’s quiet. He’s quiet for a long time. Finally, he says, “I wouldn’t want to, but I don’t know if that would matter. I would… much prefer to marry someone I love.”
She nods.
“I, ah, suppose the council is looking at me and Cassandra to get married eventually. To ensure the de Rolo legacy is passed on.” He shifts uncomfortably, the tension returning to his body. She doesn’t like that, burying her face against him and pressing herself closer. After a moment he seems to relax into her again. “Since we’re the only two left, we’re expected to marry and have children.”
“Children,” Vex says slowly. Now that is an entirely different can of worms that’s sitting even further back in her mind than the nameless thing that creeps up into sight when marriage is mentioned, and yet-- “I haven’t… thought about that much.”
“I haven’t either,” he admits. “Quite frankly I doubted I’d even get as far as a serious relationship.” He clears his throat, a little embarrassed.
“I think it’s a bit like marriage, I suppose? I haven’t thought about it, but I think-- I think with the right person I might…” She trails off, letting that hang between them.
Finally, Percy repeats, “With the right person.” It’s almost a soft agreement.)
She sees Pike off quietly, the cleric taking her hands before she goes and murmuring reassurances. Vex promises to talk to her again after she talks to Percy and Pike reaches up to brush the hair out of Vex’s eyes, patting her on the cheek.
“You’re going to be fine,” Pike says softly, using that voice that could calm even the wildest of beasts. It soothes her a bit, at least for a while.
After Pike leaves, Vex draws a bath and cleans herself up, tries to loosen her muscles and relieve the tension building in her body. Trinket wanders in from the gardens and lays his head against the side of the tub, his dark eyes intelligent and knowing. She scratches him behind his ears, ignoring the little tremble in her hands.
She’s in the middle of drying herself off in the fluffiest and most comforting towel she could find when Percy opens the bedroom door with a handful of books tucked under one arm-- clearly back from a trip from the castle library-- and looks her over.
“You feeling any better?” he asks, walking forward to his desk so he can set his books down there.
She laughs nervously, wringing her hands. “I suppose.” She smiles but it falters almost immediately. “Percy, I need to tell you something.”
He turns to her with a frown, hearing the serious tone of her voice. When he sees her wavering smile he tenses immediately. “Dearest?”
Her heart warms at the endearment, one of his fondest for her. It’s a small thing, a silly thing, but it helps ease some of her nerves.
She takes a deep breath and pats the bed next to her.
“Darling,” she says as he settles next to her on the bed. Oh, gods. How is she even supposed to go about this? Finally-- because even at a time like this, especially at a time like this, she is not without humor-- she settles on, “It’s yours.”
Percy blinks at her for a moment before a fond smile settles across his face, which is not the reaction of instant realization she was sort of hoping for. That would make this a lot easier, if he just… got it, right off the bat. He reaches up and presses the palm of his hand right over her heart, which she hopes he doesn’t realize is going a hundred times too fast. “I know, my dear.”
Oh well. More direct, then.
Vex clears her throat and shakes her head, leaning forward so the tips of their noses are brushing. She folds a hand over the one Percy holds over her heart and slowly moves it down until it’s resting against her stomach. His brow scrunches up as she looks at her, perplexed. Slowly, she repeats, “Darling, it’s yours.”
There’s a moment of incomprehension on his face as he stares at her before his blue eyes suddenly go wide behind his golden spectacles in realization. Ah, she thinks, there it is. “Oh,” is all he says.
“Oh,” she agrees timidly, only able to meet his eyes because she’s forcing herself to. It’s not shame, really, but whatever she’s feeling doesn’t feel good. It’s an unstable mixture of anxiety, the feeling of being caught off-guard and not knowing whether it’s a good or bad thing, and the uncomfortable and persistent nausea from earlier.
He clears his throat, blinking rapidly as he seems to try to process the life-changing thing she’s saying to him. “Do you-- do you want--?”
“With the right person,” she says slowly, squeezing his hand. His eyes flicker in recognition of her words. “And-- and you’re the only person who’s ever felt right. For a lot of things.”
He shifts, leaning closer to her so he can rest his forehead against hers while his other hand comes up to cup her cheek. “I, ah, I feel the same.”
Vex takes a deep breath. “Okay. Because I only want to have children if they’ll be wanted, you know?”
Only if they’re not like Vax and I.
“Well, if you want them, then I want them,” Percy says earnestly. “But I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you to have it, or keep it, or--”
She reaches up to touch the hand on her face gently. “I know, Percy. I know you wouldn’t.”
“So--?”
“If you’ll stay with me and help me,” she starts slowly, and Percy instantly nods, “then I think I want them.”
He pulls back just enough to press a kiss against the tip of her nose. “Of course I will.”
Vex lets out a long sigh of relief. “Okay. Well, that makes things… a lot less complicated. Although this entire thing is already impossibly complicated to begin with.”
“I’m sure the fact that we’ve never explicitly discussed having children doesn’t make things easier,” he says.
She laughs despite herself, a small weight lifting off of her. “I believe we brought it up hypothetically and incredibly vaguely and both danced around giving a straight answer beyond with the right person, and nothing more specific than that.”
He shakes his head. “Gods, but we are awful about that, aren’t we?”
“The dancing around important conversations thing? Yeah, it’s a real problem. We’ll talk later comes to mind as a particularly prominent example.” She laughs again, unable to hold back the little pinpricks of tears welling up in her eyes. He smiles at her warmly, moving to wipe them away with his thumbs before they can fall across her cheeks. She admits, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Neither do I!” he says with a chuckle, and she instantly feels a hundred times better now that he’s begun to relax too. “I suppose we’ll figure it out.”
“I’m sure we will. I mean, at least we won’t be figuring this out alone,” she says.
“No, we won’t.” After a long moment, Percy somehow manages to go even paler at a sudden realization. “We’ll have to tell Vax.”
Vex laughs again. “We do!” She leans forward and steals a quick kiss from him. “Don’t worry about that, Percy. He isn’t going to kill you, not for this. Not when you’re staying and helping.”
“Alright, well, I still want you to be the one to tell him.”
“That can be arranged. You do realize that that means you’re in charge of telling Cassandra, yes?”
Percy swallows and gives a shaky smile. “I know, I know.”
She snorts. “Your sister isn’t that bad, Percy.”
“Oh, she’s awful. But not as awful as telling Vax myself would be, so I’ll take Cassandra over him any day.”
“You two have been fine for years now!”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t be a little afraid of him at appropriate moments,” Percy grumbles, almost pouting. It’s adorable. After a moment he asks, “So I don’t suppose we could have a few days of keeping this to ourselves while we process things, could we?”
“I don’t think so. Pike knows, obviously, which means that she’ll tell Grog and then Grog will tell Scanlan and then-- well, one way or another it’s going to get to Vax and Cassandra.” He sighs at that in the cutest way and she smiles and cups his face, pressing another small kiss against his lips. When she pulls back from it she adds, “So they may as well hear it from us first.”
He grumbles but nods, reaching up to rake a hand through his mess of white hair. A moment passes and he relaxes again, blue eyes soft as he looks at her. “Well, there are certainly worse things you could’ve been talking about when you said you needed to tell me something.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Worse, sure. But were you expecting this?”
He dryly responds, “Not at all, as you could probably tell by my reaction.” Vex chuckles. A curious expression appears on his face, but she’d be blind not to notice the underlying current of worry there too. “I am wondering, though: what did you think my reaction would be? Because you seemed almost scared at first.”
She reaches out and takes his hand, threading her fingers between his. “I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d be mad or want to leave me or anything. I mean, we are married for a reason.” He squeezes her hand reassuringly and she smiles back at him in response. “I don’t know what I was expecting, darling. Realistically this is exactly how I’d expect you to react. Honestly, I think it was less your response and more… actually telling you, I suppose. Because saying it to you makes it real-- which is silly, I know, because Pike’s already said it out loud, but it’s different.”
He nods. “I suppose I understand that. I just was worried that you thought I’d react badly.”
She tightens her grip on his hand. “No, darling.” After a moment she laughs softly. “I will say that I’m happy this happened now instead of, say, a year ago before we were married.”
“Oh, yes,” Percy agrees instantly. “That would definitely have made things much more complicated.”
“And things are already complicated the way it is now, so I don’t even think I could deal with more complication.” After a moment she quietly adds, “I think I’d still want this, though. Even if it happened then. Is that silly?”
Percy seems to think before he says, “If it’s silly then I suppose we’d be silly together, because I feel the same.”
She lets go of his hand so she can wrap her arms around his shoulders and lean into him, burying her face against his neck. “I do vastly prefer this version, however.”
He simply presses a kiss against her hairline in response.
The months crawl by achingly slow at first, almost at a snail’s pace, and all she wants is for things to speed up so something happens besides her slowly losing her mind worrying over little things while waiting for something, anything. Then suddenly things are moving faster than she ever expected-- faster than she wants, faster than she knows how to deal with-- and not only is she losing her mind worrying, everything that she’s worrying about is piling up inside of her far quicker than she can handle.
So she can’t really say she’s surprised that there comes a point where she snaps and locks herself in their bedroom as the reality of what’s going to happen shortly-- in a few weeks, she thinks dizzily as she curls up in bed-- finally overwhelms her.
“Darling,” Percy says, his voice thick with concern from the other side of their bedroom door. He’s come by to check on her a few times over the past couple of hours since she locked herself away. “If you need to talk, you know I’m here.”
She makes a noncommittal noise, toying with the corner of her blanket. He stays out there for another ten minutes and tries to talk to her through the door, his voice easing some of her worse nerves but, unlike usually, it isn’t able to erase them completely. Eventually-- when her mind fills with too many voices and her gut clenches with an unprecedented feeling of danger and it becomes too overwhelming to speak-- she hears his familiar footsteps walking away from the door. She buries her face in a pillow.
Her isolation doesn’t last long, as soon there’s another voice on the other side of the door.
“Vex’ahlia,” Vax says, knocking on her door. “I know you’re in there. Open up.”
Any words she may have for him stick under her tongue. Another current of anxiety courses through her. She didn’t-- she didn’t think Percy would get Vax.
“Listen, I know running away from our problems and refusing to talk about them is kind of a family trait, but in the past couple of years I thought we’d both realized it doesn’t solve anything and does more harm than good. So whatever you’re freaking out about, come out here and talk to me or Percival. Gods, I’m sure Cassandra would talk to you about whatever it is too.”
Oh, gods. Cassandra. She doesn’t know how she’s managed to forget about disappointing Cassandra on top of everything else, but-- well, she’s thinking about that now too.
Vax, persistent and stubborn Vax, eventually gives up too, opting to give her space. He could pick the lock with ease, of course, but even if he tends to be a bit dense sometimes, he’s smart enough to know that him essentially breaking into her room and trying to force her to talk won’t help.
She’s left in silence for another half hour, slowly working herself up over all the little things rolling around in her head.
“Oi!”
Vex jumps at the voice, surprised and more than a little confused. It practically shocks the voice back into her. Of all the people-- “Scanlan?”
“No, it’s your other longtime musically-inclined and vertically-impaired friend.”
“I--” she begins before stopping herself because she realizes she has no idea what to even say. A long moment passes, the only audible sound the gentle tapping of Scanlan’s little foot on the wood floor. Shit, she thinks. This whole thing is already bizarre, why wouldn’t Scanlan be here for this? Finally, she rolls out of bed and slowly walks to the door, unlocking it and opening it so she can look down at the little man.
His face lights up when she does. “Really? That’s all it took? I thought I’d at least have to threaten to burn this house down for the second time.”
She blinks and shakes her head, more than a little disoriented.
“Who sent you?” she asks, regarding him carefully as she crawls back into bed.
“Percy,” he says. Vex’s eyebrows shoot up. “I know. That’s how you know it’s serious, when Percy asks for my help.”
She fidgets, wrapping her arms around herself. “It’s not that bad.”
“Really?” he says, gesturing to where she’s curled up in bed with her arms protectively wrapped around her, the dark circles under her eyes. “You’re worrying him, you know. Percy. And your brother too.”
She flinches like she’s been hit, recoiling from the thought of worrying them, of worrying anybody. Shit, that’s part of the reason she locked herself in here: so she wouldn’t worry anybody while she broke down.
He takes her silence and the fact that she hasn’t immediately yelled at him to get out as a wary acceptance of his presence. He slowly climbs up on the side of the bed, keeping a respectable distance from her, giving her space when she’s so obviously emotional.
“So, you let me in here when you wouldn’t even let your twin brother or your husband in,” he points out. Vex gives a noncommittal little shrug of acknowledgement. “Are we going to talk about why you’ve barricaded yourself in here?”
She picks at a stray bit of thread at the edge of her blanket before she sighs and nods.
“Alright, well, you know Percy loves you,” Scanlan says, and she gives a little nod of confirmation. “And you know he wants to be here for this child.”
She nods again, because of course she knows.
“So he’s not the problem here, at least not from what I can tell. What’s the problem, then?” he asks, looking her over with scrunched eyebrows.
Vex runs her tongue over her bottom lip, and in a quiet voice she finally says the thought that’s been rattling around in her head for a long time now: “I’ve already ruined one pure lineage by existing, and now I’m going to ruin another.”
There’s a long moment of silence before Scanlan softly says, “Oh, Vex.”
She reaches up to rub at her eyes, fighting back against the way they sting with unshed tears. “I know it’s stupid.”
“It is,” he agrees, and shifts closer to her on the bed, “but that doesn’t make you stupid for worrying.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” she says, frowning. “I’m having stupid thoughts but I’m not stupid?”
He shrugs. “Parenthood is full of stupid thoughts.”
She thinks about that for a long moment before finally saying, “You would know all about that, wouldn’t you?” She winces at how that sounds as it comes out.
“Considering I nearly ran myself into the ground worrying about how my daughter wouldn’t want to have a relationship with me because of factors outside my control at the time?” He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Which is why I’m here trying to stop you from doing the same thing before the whole gig even starts.”
She clears her throat awkwardly. “Uh, well. Thank you.”
He shrugs again. “Is the whole ruining a bloodline the only thing you have weighing you down? Because locking yourself in your room and refusing to talk to your husband or brother sounds like a big buildup of things, not just one.”
She shifts, biting down on her bottom lip. Even after all these years, she’s still… incredibly uncomfortable speaking about her own fears and insecurities. But with the gnome it’s almost easier for reasons she can’t exactly describe. It’s just something about him. “No. I’ve also been… worried that I’m going to be like my father.” Scanlan’s eyebrow shoots up. “You know, all awful and distant and condescending.”
He snorts. “Well, I wouldn’t worry about that. Your dad is a special kind of awful that I think you’d have to try to reach.”
“I mean, I don’t think I’d be like him,” she says, rubbing at her arms. “But what if that attitude is something he passed down to me?”
“I feel like the fact that you’re so aware of it and are afraid of it is a good sign,” Scanlan says, and she squints at him. “No, really! You care enough to be scared and that’s important.” After a moment he adds, “Although I think we’d all prefer if you didn’t get so scared that you have a mental breakdown just weeks before you’re due and lock yourself away and refuse to talk to anyone.”
Vex shakes her head. “I don’t know, Scanlan. I know this is all stupid and just making things worse but it’s like I just can’t stop, you know? I’m just terrified that I’m going to ruin this kid with all my issues.” She laughs then, but it’s sad. “And I know Percy feels the same way with his issues, but you don’t see him locking himself away in the bedroom and refusing to talk to anyone.”
Scanlans hums thoughtfully. “No, only his workshop.”
She pauses at that. “He always does that, though.”
“Exactly. So what better place to have the same breakdown you’re having now than somewhere you already lock yourself away in regularly? It definitely means he avoids a conversation like this, although that’s probably not a good thing,” Scanlan says. He shrugs then. “I don’t know. Might not be what’s happening, but he’s pretty good at figuring out how to hide his problems so I thought I’d toss it out there.”
And now that he’s pointing it out, now that she’s thinking about it, he has been spending way more time in his workshop. She hasn’t really noticed because, well, Percy’s always had a tendency to hide himself away down there, to lose himself in his work. But what Scanlan is suggesting? It makes sense. Her heart seizes up at the thought that she’s been too caught up in her own fears to notice her husband’s anxieties.
“I should talk to him,” she says quietly.
“You both should talk to each other,” he agrees. “I think you both could need it.”
She lets out a long, shaky sigh. “You know, I don’t think I’m ever going to get over how weirdly wise you are in your own way.”
Scanlan snorts. “Nah, don’t pin the word wise on me. I’m not wise, I’m just old. I’ve gotten really good at just saying a bunch of shit and letting everybody else put meaning behind it.”
“Well, it’s very effective,” she says.
They fall into companionable silence, feeling a little better despite herself.
“Do you want me to play for you?” he asks after a moment, and for the first time she notices the flute he holds in his hand.
She almost turns him down, almost tells him that it’s alright and that he can leave. Instead she swallows it down and admits, “Yes.”
“Alright.” He settles himself on the bed, crossing his leg and getting comfortable for his performance.
What he plays isn’t like the music she’s used to from before their big blowup-- and in fact, she hasn’t heard him actually play more than a few notes since they all started talking again, so when he starts she’s almost startled. The tune he plays is softer, slower. It fills the room with a warmth she can’t quite explain, an all-encompassing blanket in the form of a song. She’s used to lively tavern music from him when he plays, something that builds and builds in pace and volume until it spills over into a energetic tune fit for dancing. This song builds, of course, but it doesn’t build into the lively vibe she’s used to, instead building in a way that almost feels like the gentle sweep of a tide coming in before pulling back out to sea, only to return and repeat. It’s relaxing, and despite her surprise at that choice of song she finds herself melting back against the bed as she listens.
And then a quiet realization occurs to her.
“Scanlan?” she whispers, watching his shadow against her wall as it flickers and dances in the candlelight.
The flute music pauses. “Yes?”
She sniffles. “Thank you.”
Another long moment passes. Finally, he says, “You’ll be fine, kid. And your kid is going to be fine.”
“Don’t call me kid,” Vex snaps, but it lacks the usual fire.
“Yes, Lady Vex’ahlia,” he shoots back in a mockery of the way the servants talk to her, but there’s a softness to the teasing that makes her heart constrict.
She kicks him and he laughs, because in the end she’s still her and he’s still him.
He plays for her for quite some time, long enough where she loses track of it all. Minutes could pass, hours even, and she can’t be certain of anything except for the unwavering sound of Scanlan and his flute. She drifts in and out, her head lolling to one side only to awaken seemingly instantly-- although who’s to say she wasn’t out for much longer?-- and find the bard still playing away. At one point she comes to and it seems like he’s leaving and in a moment of panic she reaches out and seizes his hand, her brain looping not again not again not again not--
He reaches to pat her hand soothingly before scooting back into place, tugging his hand out of her grasp and starting again.
Eventually, though, even a Shorthalt reaches his limit and must put down the flute for the night. She lets him, half-asleep as she listens to the soft sounds of tiny footsteps and then the sound of her bedroom door opening.
“Scanlan?” she says, her voice small.
She hears him pause, a breathy chuckle coming from the man. “I’m afraid I have to retire now, Vex. If I play anymore I’m afraid I may blow my lungs out.”
“No,” she says. She bites her lip, scrunches her eyes shut even tighter and turns her head away from him out of… embarrassment? There’s an openness to what she wants to say that’s not comfortable, an admission to vulnerability. “I’m glad you’re here for this.”
This. ‘This’ is a weighted thing. Glad he’s here for her child, of course, that’s the obvious thing. Glad he’s here for the growing of their family, his family if he still wants them. Glad he’s here for her when she’s breaking down, glad he’s here when she needs a clever tongue and frank wisdom. Glad he’s here for… well, just for her in general, right? Because for a while-- a long while-- he wasn’t, and she wasn’t there for him when he needed it. And they burnt bridges that night, burnt them so badly that it’s taken years to even begin the process of mending them. Hells, Percy’s only recently began to make amends, even out of politeness. Something broke between them all that night, something that they still carry the cracks of in their hearts to this day, and she doubts that any of them will ever be the same no matter how much they all reach out to each other, try to do better.
But he’s here.
Scanlan is here for her, for them, and that matters.
There’s quiet for a long time. Finally, he says, “I’m glad I’m here for this too.”
And Scanlan Shorthalt doesn’t cry when other people are watching him, so perhaps that’s why Vex keeps her head turned away because she can tell from his voice that he’s begun to.
The door closes behind him, leaving her in the dark of the room once more.
When Percy crawls into bed with her ten minutes later she moves into him, pushes herself as close to him as she can possibly get. He settles one hand into her hair, tracing the curves of her braid with his fingertips.
“Do you feel any better?” he asks, tucking her head beneath his chin.
“Surprisingly yes,” she admits, eyelids fluttering shut once more as she adjusts to the familiar warmth of him. “He said a lot of things that I needed to hear.”
His fingers curl between the strands of her braid and settle so he’s cupping the back of her neck loosely. “I think he’s… good at that.”
“Yes.”
“Are you less scared now?”
“Honestly? No. I’m still scared, but I think… I think I’m scared of all the normal things now, and less of the silly ones.” She pushes her face further into his neck and breathes in the smell of him: the black powder and smoke and faint herbal scent beneath it all. “Are you scared?”
He’s silent. For a second she thinks he’s going to avoid her question the way he sometimes does. He’s like her in that way, always willing to do anything to get out of talking his problems, to avoid making other people worry about him.
“I’m terrified,” Percy admits, a long sigh punctuating it.
“That’s okay. We can be terrified together.” After a moment, she adds, “Actually, I’m pretty sure the whole point of parenthood is being terrified together. You’re literally bringing an entirely new person into existence, if you aren’t even a little bit scared I think that might be more of a problem.”
He laughs. “That’s certainly one way to look at it.”
And there’s more to this conversation, surely, and she’ll come back to it in the future, but for right now all she wants to do is curl up next to her husband and nap.
She finds Scanlan in the gardens chatting with Kaylie the next day, sheets of music strewn across the bench that they’re sitting on in front of the roses. Kaylie raises an eyebrow when she spots Vex coming-- ever the sharp one, that girl-- and politely excuses herself for a moment.
“You doing better?” Scanlan asks as she takes a seat next to him, careful not to disturb their sheets of paper.
“Much.” She brushes a flyaway hair back behind one of her ears and pulls the gray fur shawl tighter around her. She hesitates before she finally asks, “Where did you pick up that song you played me last night? The first one, I mean.”
Scanlan blinks, a little taken aback. For a moment she thinks he’s going to draw away from her, close himself off the way he tends to do and lock the door with a joke, but he clears his throat and glances around to make sure nobody is close, his gaze lingering on Kaylie’s form in the distance as she prods at some flowers. “I wrote it. For her.”
“Oh,” she says, surprised and yet… it makes sense, doesn’t it? That a song like that would be for his daughter.
He gives a little shrug. “It’s kind of a lullabye, I guess. The kind for a child, not a grown woman. So I suppose it’s more for me than her, actually. I know that’s a stupid thought.”
After a long moment of silence, Vex reaches out and puts her hand on top of his, startling him. “Parenthood is full of stupid thoughts.”
Despite himself, Scanlan cracks a smile.
They sit together in silence for a few minutes longer. He doesn’t pull his hand away from hers.
Vex isn’t exactly sure why she’s surprised when it happens.
Gods, she hears everybody telling her ‘any day now’ over and over until she’s practically sick of it. Even Pike, sweet, wonderful Pike says it one too many times during a daily check in and Vex momentarily fights the impulse to strangle someone.
“Any day now,” Pike says as she checks Vex over with a smile.
“Any day now,” Vax says, braiding her hair back.
“Any day now,” Keyleth says with a laugh, druidcrafting blue flowers for Vex’s bedside vase.
“Any day now,” Scanlan says as he sits next to her in the gardens, keeping her company with the gentle sound of flute music while he writes a song for her child.
“Any day now,” Percy says, wrapping an arm around her as they sit in bed with Trinket laying at their feet.
Grog, however, doesn’t say anything as she perches up on a wall by him, just grunts as he practically slices the poor training dummy in two. The Pale Guard and her Huntsmen aren’t enthusiastic about having her there, surrounded by weapons and danger, but Grog doesn’t seem to mind all that much. In fact, he practically growls if anybody else tries to approach her, if any of them try to talk her into leaving. Anybody with the guts to try to talk the Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt is quickly turned away by the hulking giant of a man.
“You gonna say anything about how close I am?” she asks finally, her chin resting on her hand as she watches him.
He shrugs. “Nah. It’ll happen when it happens. No point gettin’ worked up over it like the others.”
She throws her hands up in the air. “Thank you! Honestly, I think everybody’s more excited about this than I am and I’m the one carrying the damn baby! I mean, I understand Percy, but all of them doing it is so…”
“Much,” Grog finishes.
“So much,” she agrees.
They fall into a friendly and comfortable silence after this, as they tend to do. Vex watches him throw axes-- brutally maiming the training dummys that the poor guards keep rolling out for him-- and starts to feel an itch in her hand as she does, the need to pick up a bow almost overwhelming. She’s about to call over a guard and ask for a bow, any bow they have, because she’s getting antsy and needs to shoot when she feels something else.
So, here’s the thing: Vex has never experienced this before, never even been around anything like this before besides passing it by. That doesn’t stop her from freezing up as a moment of realizations hits her when she feels it.
“Holy shit,” she says.
“What?” Grog turns to her with a confused look.
“I think any day now is today,” she says, reaching up to rest a hand against her stomach.
Grog’s heavy brow scrunches up on confusion. “I don’t--”
“The baby, Grog! The baby.”
Grog’s eyes go wide. “Oh! Oh, fuck.”
Perhaps Vex shouldn’t be as surprised as she is when Grog gingerly scoops her up into his arms and begins taking her up to the room they’ve been preparing for her in the castle, but she still yelps when he does.
It’s not the most elegant way of transportation, but Vex would wager that being carried up to the castle in the arms of a goliath is definitely one of the weirder ways a de Rolo woman has been brought there to give birth.
Well, at least it’ll be a fun story.
She hopes that Grog throwing open the castle doors and bellowing, “BABY DE ROLO IS COMING!” is included in the stories that are sure to pass around the city in the coming days.
The poor servants and guards all wince at his booming voice, Vex herself not entirely unaffected considering their proximity, but after a moment they all seem to freeze as they comprehend what Grog just said and the image in front of them of him carrying the heavily pregnant and uncomfortable looking lady of the house in his arms. They immediately scatter like mice, scrambling to prepare things and contact anyone who needs to be contacted.
(And probably to gossip, although she can hardly blame them.)
“She’s definitely a de Rolo,” Vax says with a grin after the whole thing is done, and Vex knows immediately what he’s looking at. Babies are hard to get features out of a lot when they’re all soft and squishy and new, but the brown thatch of hair atop her head is unmistakably the same color as Cassandra’s and of Percy’s and the rest of the family’s from the portraits she’s seen. She’s mostly just pink right now, but she seems like she’s somewhere between Percy’s impossibly pale skin and her own dark olive beneath it all.
She hopes she ends up with the same regal nose and heavy eyebrows as Percy and Cass; she’s always liked those and it’s hard for her to imagine a de Rolo without them.
There are the slightest traces of her, though. Elaina’s eyes are dark brown, the tips of her ears just slightly pointed. It isn’t quite as prominent as her own, the elven heritage now outweighed by the human blood, and they curve more than they end in a sharp point, but there’s undeniably a little elf in her.
(“Elaina,” she’d managed to get out after Pike handed her daughter to her for the first time, looking up at her brother. She’d been struck speechless besides that, exhausted and emotional.
“Guess you win, sis,” Vax murmured, pushing the dark strands of hair that had fallen loose from her braid away from her sweaty forehead as he looked down at her with the utmost tenderness, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. When Pike looked up at them questioningly he added, “First to have a daughter gets to use our mother’s name as the first name.” He shrugged good-naturedly. “What? We’re competitive even when it comes to our children’s names.”)
“She’s so little,” Grog says in awe when he gets to hold her, quite literally dwarfing her in his arms. Perhaps other people would be worried about having the hulking giant of a man known for flying of the handle holding their newborn infant, but not Vex. She knows how good he is with little ones, how careful and conscious of his own size and strength he is.
“You should see a gnome baby.” Pike’s smile is huge as she looks up at him.
Grog’s eyes go wide. “You get littler?”
“Of course!”
Scanlan laughs. “Oi, big guy. Pass her this way.”
Her attention shifts to the back of the group, focusing in on Percy. He’s been quiet for a long while now, just staring at Elaina being passed around their family.
(Part of her worries that he feels like he’s not allowed to hold her.)
“Do you want to hold her, Percy?” she asks, because for all her tendencies to dance in circles sometimes being upfront with her husband is the best action.
He snaps to attention, looking caught off-guard. His eyes dart around the room nervously. “Ah, if that’s alright.”
She smiles sweetly at him. “You’re her father, Percy. Of course it’s alright.” She glances at Scanlan. “I know you just got her, but would you mind passing her off?”
The gnome’s eyes twinkle. “It would be my pleasure.” He shuffles up and holds her up to Percy. “Come say hi to your daughter, de Rolo.”
Percy slowly takes her into his arms, almost holding her the way he holds his black powder: tenderly and carefully, afraid he’ll drop it or set it off.
Grog grins a toothy smile, instantly drawing her attention over to him. “I’m gonna teach her all the best weapons. Swords, greatswords, maces.” He starts listing them off on his fingers as he goes. “Axes, greataxes, hammers…”
“Daggers,” Vax says instantly, and Vex snorts. She already guessed that Cassandra would be interested in teaching Elaina about daggers too. Vax and Cassandra have an interesting relationship, one Vex isn’t sure even they fully understand, but she knows that she would love to watch the two of them try to teach someone how to use daggers. If nothing else, she’d love to watch them bicker over the best techniques and drive each other crazy.
“Obviously, she’s gonna learn how to shoot a bow and arrow, right Vex?” Keyleth asks, resting her chin on her hand.
Vex snorts. “Of course. Do you really think mine and Percy’s daughter isn’t going to learn how to shoot?”
“I bet she’ll be a natural,” Pike says happily.
“Well, I’m going to teach her at least one instrument,” Scanlan declares proudly.
“Make one of them a weird instrument,” Vax says. “I want a niece that plays some obscure wind instrument from, like… Marquet or Wildmount or something.” He turns to look at Scanlan better. “You know anything like that?”
Scanlan raises an eyebrow. “Do I know anything like that?”
Vax rolls his eyes. “Right, dumb question.”
“Who do you take me for, Vax?” the bard scoffs. “An amateur?”
“I admitted it was a dumb question, alright!” Vax says. “Let me live, Shorthalt.”
Vex’s gaze drifts over all of them, her heart full as she takes in her family all gathered around. She catches Percy in the back behind all of them and she blinks in surprise.
Percy is still frozen where he was last time she looked at him, cradling Elaina in his arms as he looks down at her. What she failed to notice as the others drew her attention to them was that at some point, tears have begun to roll silently down Percy’s face as he looks down at the little bundle-- his daughter, their daughter-- that he holds like she’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen in his life.
“Oh, Percival darling,” Vex says softly, and the others all quiet and turn to look at what she’s noticed.
“Aww, Freddie,” Vax says with a soft little smile.
Keyleth rests a hand on Percy’s shoulder and squeezes.
Well, Vex thinks, this seems like something to tackle by themselves.
“The rest of you out for a moment,” she says, shooing them away with her hands. They all grumble but none of them seem dumb enough to argue with her after she just gave birth, so that’s good for everybody involved. Percy still stands in place looking utterly wrecked and more than a little lost. She holds out a hand and she watches his eyes slowly shift to it. “Husband,” she beckons teasingly, and he drifts towards her like a ghost.
He quietly tries to hand Elaina back to her and Vex laughs, holding her hands up. “Percy, you can keep holding her if you want. Do you want that?”
Percy, who seems beyond words, simply nods and clutches her back to his chest protectively. It’s kind of adorable, really.
She pats the bed next to her and he slowly sits down beside her.
“What’s wrong, darling?” she asks softly. “I’m not one to talk when it comes to crying when holding our daughter, but it seems like you have more than just that on your mind.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Literally nothing, this is… this is perfect.” He reaches up and rubs at his jawline, eyes flicking back and forth between his wife and his daughter. “I-- I just never thought I’d help make something this good.”
She stares at him uncomprehendingly for a moment before it clicks into place and she just quietly goes, “Oh, Percy.”
He gives a helpless little shrug. “I’m just so used to making guns and explosives and other awful, horrible things and… she’s not like that.”
“No,” she agrees softly. She reaches out and rests her hand on his bicep comfortingly. “You and I made something really beautiful, I think. We should be proud.” He nods a little bit and she smiles. “Our daughter, Percy. Our daughter.”
He does smile at that, reaching up to wipe at the tears streaming down his face with his sleeve.
Quietly, almost disbelievingly, he agrees, “Our daughter.”
Cassandra waits until the majority of the people have cleared out, just Vex and Percy in the room and Pike hovering around nearby, before she sneaks in as quiet as can be to see her new niece.
Vex actually has to nudge Percy to get him to let Cassandra hold Elaina, seemingly reluctant to let go of her. Cassandra, who’s never held a baby in her life because she was always the baby and later because of her unfortunate circumstances, seems more than a little lost when Percy hands Elaina off to her. She’s also quick to pass her back, which Percy seems grateful for, but Vex knows it’s less her being rude and more her not wanting to do something wrong while in unfamiliar territory.
Tary, for his part, manages to send a long letter lamenting the fact that he’s currently too busy to visit right away but will try to visit in the next week or so. She receives various other messages in the first two days: congratulations from Gilmore with an arcane mobile with bears that move as if they’re actually walking, a promise to visit from Kima and Allura. Even Syldor sends a short congratulations, which-- despite their slightly more mended relationship-- she cares much less about than the attached notes from Devana and Velora.
It’s at the end of the third day that Vex notices a problem.
Percy, the loving and doting husband and father he is, has barely slept for more than a handful of half hour intervals since Elaina was born. He jumps to take her from Vex so Vex can take care of herself while ignoring his own needs. Now, Vex is used to him not sleeping as much as he should and sometimes even forgetting to sleep, but even this is too much for her.
“Percy,” she says finally, all of them gathered in her room and chatting absently while Percy holds Elaina in the back. He looks up at her wearily, cradling Elaina close. “Don’t you think it’s time you get some sleep?”
“I’m fine,” he says instantly, and she wonders if he knows how dark the circles are under his eyes and how ruffled his hair would be if she hadn’t been fixing it every time he got close enough for her to do so.
“You haven’t slept in a while, Percy,” Keyleth points out, obviously concerned for her best friend.
Percy’s frown deepens. “I said I’m fine. I’m taking care of things so Vex can--”
Vex cuts him off. “Oh, no. Percival, I have slept and eaten plenty. Now it’s your turn.”
“Alright, show of hands! Who wants Percival to go the fuck to sleep?” Vax asks.
“Vax’ildan!” she snaps, and Vax recoils at her tone. “Watch your language around your niece! But yes, show of hands.”
Without hesitation everybody in the room raises a hand. (Keyleth raises two pointedly.) Percy scowls at them all, but is quickly distracted by the baby in his arms slowly reaching a tiny arm up. The room immediately cracks up except for Percy, who begins to scowl even more at all of them, although he pointedly doesn’t turn it on Vex or Elaina.
“Even Elaina agrees that you need to go to sleep,” Pike teases, but she’s already begun inching into no-nonsense Mama Pike mode by the way she looks at Percy.
“What?” he says, baffled. He looks between his daughter and the rest of his family. “She’s only a couple days old, she doesn’t understand! Her raising her hand was a coincidence.”
They ignore him.
“So we’re unanimous then,” Scanlan says.
“Looks like it,” Pike says.
“But--” Percy begins to protest, but Scanlan cuts him off.
“Don’t make me use Friends on you and make you go to sleep Percy,” he shoots off.
“I will use Friends right back on you Scanlan Shorthalt,” Percy says with a scowl.
“And you’re smart enough to know that I will win,” Scanlan scoffs.
“Percy,” Vex says, and he turns to look at her instantly. “Come here, darling”
Percy, impossibly stubborn Percy, slowly trudges forward towards her because even when he refuses to listen to anyone else, he always listens to her. Scanlan makes a whip sound and Keyleth giggles behind her hands.
She curls her fingers into the collar of his shirt once he’s close enough and pulls him down so their noses are brushing, her voice soft and low so only he can hear. “This isn’t a dream or a trick, Percy. Elaina isn’t going to vanish into a puff of smoke as soon as you take your eyes off of her. She’ll be right here when you’re done sleeping.”
Percy’s eyes widen and yes, she’s definitely guessed his problem correctly. He looks as if he’s about to protest for a moment so she tightens her grip on his collar, a gentle warning, and he lets out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, dear.”
She moves to cup his jaw and tilts his face down so she can kiss the tip of his nose. “You don’t have to be sorry, Percy. Just go get some sleep, okay? I love that you want to be here but even you can’t last this long without at least a nap.”
He sighs again. “Okay.”
“Okay,” she says, and shifts her hand so it’s resting against his cheek. “I love you.”
His tired blue eyes soften. “I love you too, dear.”
She holds her arms out and Percy slowly, slowly gives Elaina to her, almost as if it’s physically painful for him to give her up.
Grog and Keyleth exchange glances, stepping together so they stand right behind Percy. Vex raises her eyebrow at them and Percy turns to look.
Percy regards them cooly, already guessing what they’re doing. “Really? You’re escorting me?”
Keyleth hooks her arm through his cheerily and reaches up to playfully boop him on the nose. He seems unimpressed. “I’m just going to make sure you actually make it to a bed without passing out!”
Grog flexes his muscles. “And I’m gonna hold you down and sit on you if I gotta.”
Keyleth’s smile widens. “I will absolutely grapple you with vines to help Grog if you don’t cooperate, though.”
Percy sighs. “Not cooperating seems like more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Good,” Vax says at the same time that Pike says, “Because it is!”
“Look at it this way, darling,” Vex says, and Percy practically snaps back around to give her his full attention at the sound of her voice. She smiles despite herself because she doesn’t think she’ll ever get over how cute that is. “The sooner you get a decent amount of sleep, the sooner these two will let you come back and hold Elaina.”
Percy instantly softens at that and she watches Pike and Vax make eye contact behind him and smirk at each other. “I-- yes, of course, dear.”
After Percy leaves the room, Vax says, “Alright, that man’s going to be a total pushover for that little girl the same way he is for you.”
“Absolutely,” Pike says with a grin.
Vex smiles fondly.
“This kid’s going to be the most spoiled thing,” Scanlan says with a smirk, looking down at Elaina.
“So,” Vax drawls. “What are the chances of him trying to sneak away early?”
“Oh, a hundred percent,” Pike says instantly.
“We’ll have to tear him away from them,” Scanlan agrees.
Vex just smiles down at Elaina.