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“ What does he expect, I have a PhD, that doesn't make me a miracle worker! ”
Flug hummed to show he was listening, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear while searching through his papers. Boy, did he need to sort his stuff sometime soon.
“ I get it, he expects the world of me but- he’s the one with superpowers… but not everyone will magically stumble across the solution at just the right moment for dramatic tension. ” a sigh. “ I’m starting to think you were right Flug, maybe working with heroes was a mistake. ”
“Oh?” Flug asked, finding what he needed under some research papers he’d written up about Demecia. It had been ages since he’d worked with heroes, but he’d still kept in contact with the R&D department. Or really, the mismatch of random scientists and doctors working with and for heroes that were grouped together as a ‘R&D’ department.
“ Yeah !” Well know she sounded worked up. “ That was probably your smartest move, ditching this hellhole when you had the chance. ”
“Thanks. Oh, Carly, by the way, you like kids, right?” Flug asked.
“ What, oh. Yeah, why? ”
“Well, Lady Thorn needs someone to look after her kid, she’s been complaining that she can’t find anyone with enough knowledge on botany and child care to take care of Susin.” Now all he had to do was figure out where he’d put that destabilizer… “You studied plants, right? I could drop her a call if you want.”
Carly was silent for a few moments while Flug took another lap around his lab, fumbling with the phone to hold it in his hand.
“ Sure, you know what. Make that call. ”
“ That’s the LAST straw .” Jerry fumed. “ I’m done working with that jerk, General Strongarm can go jump off a bridge for all I care. ”
“What did he do, this time?” Flug asked. It was quite the experience to take a call and immediately have someone ranting and raving about the hero they worked for. Flug muted the tv, leaning back on the couch as he awaited his answer.
Jerry took several breath to calm himself. Sounded like he was using the technique Flug had recommended.
“ He seems to be under the impersonation he should argue with me about every fact I tell him, and then rush into a fight completely unprepared and then proceed to blame me for his failures. He then thinks it’s appropriate to demand an apology while working overtime, with no pay might I add, to make a bunch of ludicrous upgrades to his suit! ”
“Isn't that normal for him?” Flug asked.
“ YES! But it gets worse! ” Jerry paused, taking another breath. “ He’s been taking credit for my work within the inner hero circles- they think he invents all his stuff! ”
Flug gasped. Oh, that asshole .
“ I’m done with machines. If I never see another circuit board again, it’ll be too soon .” He could hear something thumping in the background. Like Jerry was throwing away some of his electronics.
“Wanna be a cook?” Flug asked. Just the thought of Jerry's cooking was making his making his mouth water, especially his Gyro. He loved those.
“ A… cook? ” A pause. “ You know what, why not. Maybe my parents will finally get off my back. They were chefs in their time, you know. ” Jerry said. Actually, Flug hadn’t known that.
“Okay, good. Mr. Noface has been looking for a cook, his last one tried to poison him. Oh, and if you’d want to look after his house, he’ll pay extra.” Flug offered.
“ Sure. ” Jerry responded immediately. “ Think you could put in a good word for my not-poisoning my food skills? ”
“No problem. By the way, can I have you’re old soldering tools?”
“Hey, Dr. Abigail, Slicemaster’s last doctor was found being a fraud. You want his job? It’s good paying.” Flug offered.
There was a pause on the other side, followed by the sound of someone moving and a door opening and closing.
“ You don’t have to be so forward about it. ” Abigail finally responded. “ I should probably feel bad about this, but I don’t, so yeah, I’d love that. ”
“Great!” Good thing to, he’d already told Slice-y he could get someone for him. He supposed he could always have tried Fred if-
“ By the way, you know anyone looking to hire a robotics expert and seasoned engineer? ” Abigail asked.
“Wait, what? Did something happen with Fred?” Flug asked. Oh odd, normally everyone complained to him when something went wrong. He was very good at listening.
“ Yeah, guess Miss Fantastic pushed him just a little too hard and now he’s trying to make a palm bomb for… something. ” He could hear Abigail sigh. “ I think a change of scenery could really help him out. ”
“Well in that case, do you think he’d like living underwater? The Sea Kings hiring.”
It was Abigail's idea.
She’d even made all the calls and set up the arrangements to get everyone together. She’d even gone out of her way to help Carly figure out what was going on with Susin’s skin problems. Turned out, her body was trying to absorb sunlight for energy, but it was just making her itchy.
They’d all agreed to meet up for a ‘sidekick convention’ to celebrate the turning point in their lives when they’d become villains, and alot happier thank you very much.
Convention being their codeword for ‘let’s get drunk and complain about everyone else’.
It also served as an added bonus that their bosses could meet up and exchange small talk while they watched their employes intermingle, and keep an eye on them to ensure they didn’t get hurt. Good help was just so hard to find, you know?
“Holy shit Fred, I didn’t know you could swear like that about Miss Fantastic!”
Needless to say, they were pleasantly surprised and amused at this new side of their underlings.
“Well Flug, I’m impressed.” Jerry stated as he poured himself another drink. “You’ve successfully corrupted, what 90% of our old group?”
“Oh, I offered Ivan a job before any of you.” Flug shrugged. “He’s selling insider information right now. I tried to get him to come, but you know him.”
“If anyone could beat you for an antisocial award, it be him.” Fred acknowledged. “Okay, now back to my story, at that point Viper had enough, and punched Strongarm, once, in the face. He was out cold for hours . Don’t think he ever lived it down.
That earned a round of chuckles.
“Okay, but what about the time Blue Racer tried on his own feet while running, and threw himself through three buildings? He started claiming he’d been fighting a villain to save face!” Abigail pointed out. “The thing is, it became this huge thing, and everyone wanted to know who he was fighting and why , so he asked a shapeshifter to pretend to be a new villain on the scene.”
“Oh, hey guys, you should hear this great story Flug has about the Commander and a flock of sheep!” Carly suggested.
All eyes turned to Flug, who had been mostly quiet throughout this exchange. He was curled up on the couch, sipping his drink with a straw. Funnily enough, it wasn’t the weirdest thing any of them had seen Flug do. Not even close.
“I’m not nearly drunk enough to talk about the Commander. Or any of the Superfriends, for that manner.” He decided.
That caused the group to burst out laughing.
“Oh god, the Superfriends . I forgot about that.” Abigail said.
“Who?” Lady Thorn asked, wandering over and leaning over the couch. She had a drink as well, but it seemed to act more as an accessory than anything, given she didn’t do much more with it than twirl it slowly in her hands.
“Oh! When the heroes were first getting together, their marketing team suggested they get a ‘friendly, non-threatening’ name to use for marketing purposes.” Abigail explained with alot of hand gestures that were probably supposed to prove her point. “So they went with the ‘Superfriends’. They kept it right up until the end too, had it all on their marketing stuff.”
“Seriously Jerry, you shouldn’t have convinced them to do that survey.” Carly interrupted. I’d have loved to see the looks on peoples faces when they came out with that name.”
“You almost got that anyway.” Jerry shrugged. “They were determined to go with it, regardless of what the focus group said. They only backed off once one of their sponsors threatened to pull if they went through with it.”
“Sponsors?” Sea King piped in, raising an eyebrow. “And here I thought they were supposed to do it out of ‘ the goodness of their hearts ’.” he used air quotes to emphasize his sarcasm.
“Half of them won’t even step in until they get paid.” Fred blurted out. “I swear, they’re more corrupted you guys.”
“Then.” Blackhat took a sip of his drink. “We’ll need to take action and eliminate the competition.” Once everyone's eyes were on him, he allowed a wide grin to cross his face. “We have five scientists with a chip on their shoulder, and one more on the inside willing to see them out.”
“Like it would be hard to break in anyways.” Flug groaned. “The security around their HQ is terrible. Terrible . Do you have any idea how many lowlife villains break in, successfully , in just a month? We could all waltz in the front door, and they wouldn’t even notice!”
“Who’s ready to take this night from good to great?” Blackhat asked.