Chapter Text
The old screen door moans piteously behind me as I step onto the porch and I cringe for a moment, hoping the sound doesn't alert my family to my momentary escape. I crane my neck to hear what is going on inside, but all I hear is the football game and Prim's three children running through the house. I sigh in relief and walk silently to the far corner of the porch and sit on the old porch swing. It creaks as it receives my full weight and I wonder for a moment if it's going to collapse since it's barely holding together. It would be typical of tonight.
Stupid Thanksgiving, it must have been invented by the devil. My family is hard to deal with on normal circumstances but put us all together in one small house to coordinate a big feast to pretend for one day everything is perfect and I want to shoot myself. If it's not my beautiful sister Prim constantly nagging me to find a boyfriend so I can live in wedded bliss like her and Rory, it's my Aunt Effie nagging me that I don't put enough makeup on or dress up enough. God forbid I don't look like a made-up showgirl. Then there's my mother's erratic emotions along with Haymitch throwing sarcastic barbs my way before he gets drunk and passes out. If I'm lucky this year Thanksgiving dinner won't make a reappearance from the recesses of his stomach.
I pull my knees up and tuck them under my sweater to keep myself warm before pulling out my E-cigarette. All I need is one cigarette. One god damn cigarette to get me to the end of the evening but I'm stuck with this thing that doesn't burn in my lungs but gives a puff of vapor instead. Prim got it for me to stop my bad smoking habit, and because I love her I'm using it. But how I wish I had my cancer stick back.
I pretend my E-cigarette is just as good as the real thing, enjoying the silence of my quiet street when the ornate door from the house across the street opens. I'm glad the large bush in front of the porch is in it's usual wild untrimmed state because I can spy hidden from view without getting the scorn always so freely given by Madeline Mellark who exits her large McMansion. Right now her expression is the exact opposite as she smiles in that way she only does for people she is trying to please. When I see who is making her smile so insipidly, the heavy food swirling in my stomach starts to feel like lead. Close behind her is Glimmer Reynolds, who I had the definitely not the pleasure to meet on Halloween, followed by her beautiful boyfriend Peeta Mellark. They all seem to be happy and laughing and I find the scene to be rather sickening. How can they be that happy after being stuck with each other for half a day?
At least Peeta can't ruin the great suck that is Thanksgiving for me like he did on Halloween. It used to be my favorite holiday until this last October. Who couldn't love a holiday where you are not required to see your parents, you can be whoever you want to be, and amp up other people's children with candy. Actually I enjoy the last part the best. I love to dress up as a witch every year; putting on the full gear of pointy hat, warty nose, and green skin. I sit on the stoop of my flat with a big bowl of candy and spend the night making the little kids giggle with my witchy voice as Buttercup hisses behind me at the intruders.
I had just passed the last of the candy out, looking forward to a night in with pizza and beer when I hear a distinctly cheery voice from the door to the third floor flat opening behind me. "Katniss! Oh my god you look so cute. Does that mean you are going with me to the party?" I inwardly cringe that I forgot to try and avoid Delly Cartwright for the night. I turn around and see Delly decked out in a cute and maybe too sexy Rainbow Bright costume and I had to suppress another cringe.
Although we grew up in the same small, perfectly pleasant, perfectly bland suburb and shared classes since we were in Kindergarten, I never really talked to her the entire time. She’s always been on the popular track, I have never been. It just happened that when I moved to San Francisco, she occupied the flat above me. I thought we'd continue with our mutual indifference, but I found her coming often to my house for one thing or another, staying longer and longer while ignoring my bad moods as she chatted away. Not even Joanna's acerbic tongue could deter her from hanging around and soon I found she had wriggled her way into my life. The worst part is that I think I would actually miss her if she wasn't there.
Actually no, the worst part is that she forces me to socialize. Like that night. She had been bothering me for two weeks to go to a Halloween party with her. I don't do parties. I always end up alone in a corner drinking a beer, wishing I was at home in my pjs and feeling pathetic for how socially inept I am while I see Joanna take on a new conquest and Delly chat away with everyone. I had evaded her continual plea to go but no matter how sweet Delly might be, she is just as stubborn as I am.
"No, I am absolutely not going Delly. I am done for the night." I told her, trying to be strong against the wave of disappointment that she threw at me just with her sad doe eyes and defeated body posture.
"Please Katniss. Joanna is going too." That was a surprise. I thought my housemate could barely tolerate Delly, let alone willingly go out somewhere without me as a buffer. "And the party is at an an old friend of ours. Do you remember Peeta Mellark? He's just moved to the city. I'm sure he would love to see you."
I was sure of no such thing. Of course I remember Peeta Mellark, he lived across from me my entire life. And how little I knew Delly back in the day I knew less of him. His mother loathed my family since we "brought down the value with the neighborhood" with our poverty. It’s not our fault our little house had been in the family for generations and the bougie neighborhood popped up around us. So she made sure her sons had nothing to do with us. Just like Delly I knew him but rarely talked to him except for the occasional hello. I saw him grow up, become the golden son of our town by being the power pack combo of smart and ridiculously athletic. Not only was he captain of the wrestling team but he was on the football team as well, class president, and nice to everyone to boot. I don't think I ever met anyone more perfect. And there was no way someone so loved in town would want to associate with the town anti-social like me. Delly always forgets that, trying to remind me about how many of the girls were jealous of me because so many boys were always trying to get my attention. Highly unlikely, I would have noticed. So yeah, Delly is delusional and I'm pretty sure he would not "love" to see me. But that didn't stop me from being slightly curious with how he was doing almost ten years after high school. Delly could see my hesitance in hearing his name and hope glowed in her eyes.
"We are going Brainless, since you haven't locked the door on our Rainbow Bright, it means you are interested. And it's only a few blocks away so deal with it."
I turn around to find Joanna walking towards me in a witch costume like mine. But unlike my modest black and dark purple dress and warty nose, her dress was as tight as she could get it and the deep cut made sure her boobs were on full display.
"But..." I try, but she was not having it. She didn't even let me go back into my own place since she grabbed my keys and purse for me before pushing Buttercup in and locking the door. I could not win with both women ganging up on me and too soon I found myself approaching a large Victorian off of Alamo square which obviously needed a lot of work. It's crumbling facade was perfect for Halloween, accentuated with large cobwebs and spiders that were strewn everywhere and strobe lights going off on the porch. The party was already in full swing as music and voices could be heard before we even came up the stairs. Before Delly was able to knock, the door swung open to reveal a beautiful, very tall woman wearing a sexy latex nurse's uniform.
"Delly my dear!" she exclaimed, before descending to give her an air kiss. "Peeta will be so happy to see one of his little friends." Delly's smile wavered at her pretty bitchy statement and I was ready to walk out right there, if I didn't know it would really hurt her if I did so now.
"Delly!" I hear a warm voice behind Glimmer before Peeta appeared and swiftly pulled her into a tight hug. "It's so good to see you," he said, squeezing her a little tighter before letting her go, both giving each other wide smiles.
Peeta then turned to me and his eyes widened as he recognized me despite my make-up. I occasionally saw him from afar when I went home for holidays, but it had been years since I've seen him so close. And I hated to admit that I must have looked like a slack jawed yokel for a minute as I stared at the very handsome man before me who had replaced what used to be just a pretty boy. He was wearing a Captain America costume, but all I could see was his bright blue eyes sparkling with happiness, his strong jaw fighting a stuble, and his curly hair threatening to come loose from the gel he had used to slick it back.
"Katniss? I can’t believe you're here," he finally said and I couldn't tell if his surprise was a happy one or not. It was a good thing my face was painted green because I could feel my blush as I realized I must have been staring at him, mouth agape. I was also surprised he actually even knew my name. He stepped forward like he was ready to give me a hug, when his girlfriend cut him off holding out her hand with a fake smile plastered on her face.
"Hi, I'm Glimmer, Peeta's girlfriend. Are you friends of Delly?" she said turning to Joanna and I. Of course. There is no way that Mr. Perfect would not be dating a tall ridiculously built, caked on make-up barbie doll.
"Umm, yes, I grew up with them. This is my friend Joanna," I answer, not wanting to go into how we weren't actually friends.
"Well come on in," she said looking like a perfect hostess as she hooked her arm through mine. "Are you a witch? It's just so cute that some women don't feel the need to look good on Halloween. I'm not that brave," she said to me as she dragged me towards the bar.
That was just the beginning of the night and it went down from there. All of Glimmer's friends at the party were just as tall, gorgeous and vapid as she was and I felt very inadequate in my plain witch's costume and warty nose. As I predicted, I ended up spending most of my night in a corner, looking like a very angry disgruntled witch with a “b” because, as predicted, Joanna eventually left me to hook up with Spiderman and Delly was drawn into a game of beer pong before she stayed on the dance floor. Early on in the evening when the girls first disappeared Peeta did come by to chat with me.
“Hey Katniss, you look very bewitching tonight,” he said handing me a beer. I just stared at him, not even knowing how to respond to that. I was considering that maybe he was being either sleezy or cheesy before I noticed the red on his neck and when I looked up at his face he looked like he wished he could kick himself.
"I'm sorry Katniss, I never know what to say around you, and obviously that means I like sounding like an ass," he said chuckling sheepishly. I couldn't fight the small smile that cracked my face at his obvious embarrassment.
"Well, it's not every day that you can behold so much beauty in front of you," I crack out while scratching the wart on my nose. Peeta let's out a deep laugh and I find myself soon joining him.
"You are right about that one," he said when the laughter settled down, and he sounded surprisingly sincere. But before I could even think of a reply, Glimmer was by his side, wrapping her arm around his waist, letting him know that some friends wanted to talk to him. She pulled him away and I didn't have a chance to talk to him the rest of the night. Glimmer was latched to him the entire time giving me death glares even though I hadn't done anything. I could see him now and then looking across the room to where I was standing, and would immediately turn away, not wanting to see the look of pity on his face since he constantly found me standing alone. Eventually I figured I did my time and texted the girls that I was leaving before I slipped through the front door.
"Hey Katniss! Wait up!" I was nearly a block down when I saw to my surprise that Peeta was running after me. "You're not leaving already are you?"
"Umm, yeah, I've had a long day..." I answered not quite sure how to respond to him. He looked awkward as he shifted his hips and rubbed the back of his neck like he was trying to figure out what next to say.
"Well, I'm glad you could make it. It's been a long time. Don't be a stranger okay?" he eventually answered. I don't know why he was making an effort, since we don't really know each other, and I'd probably never talk to him again after this. I figured he was probably just making an effort for Delly.
"Yeah okay, well have a good night Peeta," I answered before walking away. After a few steps I had the urge to turn around and he was still there, looking at me, so I gave him an awkward wave before turning around again. I finally went home and ordered the pizza I had promised myself two hours before. It didn't taste as good as I was hoping and I only got through one slice before I decided a pint of Three Twins Salted Carmel ice cream in a Guinness float was a better idea. Hey don't knock it until you try it. That night I dreamt of an Amazonian tribe of beautiful women raiding my village and kidnapping all the men. Now I hate Halloween and I have avoided every plea Delly has made to go to Peeta's house since then.
I hear a car door slam and I realize I totally zoned thinking about that evening. When I look across the street, Peeta is waving to his mother and Glimmer as they drive off. Once they are around the corner I see the smile is immediately gone replaced by a mingled look of exhaustion and relief, which I can definitely relate to. I assume he is about to head straight back in when I see his eyes track to my house and immediately connect with my own eyes. I'm hoping I am just imagining it, that there is no way he could see me looking at him with the big bush blocking the way, but he gives me a big wave before bounding across the street towards me.
"Hey Katniss. How are you doing?" he says after he settles next to me on the swing. It groans a little bit under his weight, causing a momentary look of alarm from him and I can't help the snort that makes it's way through my nose.
"I'm trying to avoid my well meaning if dysfunctional family while I get some satisfaction out of this thing," I say twirling my E-cigarette. "But it's not the real thing, so I guess I'm barely hanging on by a thread."
Peeta lets out a laugh larger than I expect for a sarcastic remark and when I give him a curious look he waves me off. "I'm sorry, it's not that funny, it's just I feel the same way you do. I'm so grateful that Black Friday starts on Thursday because now I have an early reprieve from the women in my life. And honestly I'm surprised that you've actually said more than two words to me, let alone two sentences."
I'm actually surprised too. Somehow I just knew he'd understand how I was feeling and I felt like telling him. So instead of scowling which is my usual M.O. I give a small chuckle as I rest my chin on my knees while looking over at him.
"Well it's your lucky day I guess. Would you like to try some? See if it works for you?" I say offering my E-cigarette.
"Nah, I've got something better." He looks around before he slips his hand into his inside jacket pocket and pulls out a glass pipe that is stuffed with the distinct dry leaves that can only be marijuana.
"Why Mr. Mellark, I thought you were the model citizen," I say in mock surprise. "What has happened in your life to corrupt you so?"
Peeta let out another warm laugh, which has the same reaction that whisky does traveling down my throat before it warms my belly. "If you had a mother like I do you would act like a model citizen too. Doesn't mean I don't know how to be bad, I just know how to get away with it." His voice turns slightly low and husky as he leans in conspiratorially towards me. I can feel the warmth emanating from his body as I smell the spice of his cologne and his own distinct musk. This causes my body to battle itself since I have this great need to lean in closer and run away at the same time.
"So are you game?" he asks and I find myself nodding dumbly as I try to control how much my mouth is watering.
"Yes, but I suggest we don't do it on the front porch," I finally say sounding more husky than I intend to. I get up and walk down the stairs and turn around only to see him still sitting there staring at me. "Well are you coming?" I ask, and he nods his head looking stunned before he realizes he should follow me and quickly jumps up.
I take him around the back of the house, making sure to walk quickly past the windows so that nobody sees us. I'm light on my feet as I creep to the old oak tree in the back yard, but Peeta is making such a racket with his heavy feet I'm surprised Haymitch hasn't opened the back door yet brandishing his shotgun.
"Are you taking me to Katniss Everdeen's secret sanctum? I've heard rumors of it's existence and I've always hoped that someday you would show me," Peeta says with awe as he looks up at the tree house nestled above us. I look over and see that he is not mocking me but completely serious. He looks at me like I've shown him the Holy Grail.
"Well you are one of the lucky few. You'll have to sign a blood oath not to reveal what you have seen inside," I answer and I am satisfied to see a crooked smile come out.
"But how do we get up there?" he asks seeing no apparent ladder. I just wink at him with a "you'll see" before I climb up the trunk until I reach the hidden hatch at the bottom of the tree house. I reach my finger into a knot of wood and feel the latch, which pops open the hatch and I swing it open. I climb through and release the rope ladder for Peeta.
"Well, aren't you coming?" I ask popping my head down to see him staring up with his mouth open. He's making a pattern of this staring thing and I wonder if he thinks I'm some sort of freak.
"Yes, of course," he says snapping out of it and he easily pulls himself up the ladder. For a moment I wish it wasn't such a cold November day so that I could see him without his jacket. Considering the strong muscles on his neck I wonder what the rest of them look like as they strain on every rung. Then I shake myself into reality remembering that we are not really friends and he has a girlfriend.
"Oh my god this place is amazing!" he exclaims as he pulls himself in all the way. He looks up at the skylight with awe while he pulls off his jacket, revealing a tight long-sleeved blue shirt underneath that matches his eyes.
I can't help but smile as I look around pulling off my zip up hoodie as well. When my father built this place for me he went all out. He only used the best wood and his skilled hands made a place you could practically live in. The wood floor is stained and the walls are insulated and painted a soft green. There is a plush red rug on the ground and he filled it with pillows of all sizes, some big enough to sit on. There is a hook on the ceiling for a kerosene lamp to hang from and even a fake fireplace which I put large candles in. Since the sun has almost set I go about lighting the candles and the kerosene lamps to light up the dark room.
"Yeah, my dad didn't make much money, but he he showed in other ways how much he loved me." My heart pangs a moment thinking about him, but I'm old enough now that I would rather talk about him despite how much it hurts and not forget how great a man he was. Its better to feel the pain than to lose even the memory of him. Peeta squeezes my hand and gives me a small reassuring smile that feels more like comfort than of pity.
"Well Mr. Secretly Rebellious, are you going to share your ill gotten goods or what?" I ask trying to lighten the mood.
"Your wish is my command, M'lady," he answers with a smirk as he pulls out his pipe with a flourish. I toss him a box of matches before settling into a pile of cushions. I watch him as he lights up the pipe and takes a long draw, letting the smoke fill his lungs before looking up and blowing out the smoke. I don't know why I find the actions to be extremely sexy, but as I see him extend his Adam's apple I feel the muscles of my thighs contract and I have to smooth my hands over them to make them relax.
"Your turn," he says offering me his pipe, his eyes already starting to look hazy. Our fingers brush as I take it from him and the pipe thuds on the ground when we both jerk back. Shock shoots up my arm and I wonder if he felt the same thing.
"Sorry," I say feeling my cheeks turn red as I pick it up and take the matches from him to light the pipe. I close my eyes, inhaling deeply, hoping it calms my jangling nerves caused by the awareness that he is staring at my every movement. I finally open my eyes as I let the smoke out and I see he is lying on his side, his head on his arm as he looks up at me.
"So what is it about your 'dysfunctional' family that has driven you to this desperate state of smoking in your tree house with none other than Peeta Mellark," he asks me. I can't help but laugh and I settle down next to him, mirroring his position.
"Oh god, I don't even know where to start. I live in the city, have a good job and overall I feel like I'm a grown-up. But then I come home and I'm sixteen all over again. My mother is still in her unending depression, only smiling at my sisters kids. My Uncle Haymitch's drinking problem is worse than ever and I'm tired of being the only one who tries to stop him. Let's not forget about his wife, who I think might have a shopping problem that is probably on the brink of hoarding. I haven't been to their house in years and I'm afraid to. Then there is is my lovely sister who suddenly is the one who's the 'adult' always pushing me to settle down. Just because she got knocked up at sixteen and happens to be the rare lucky one where her boyfriend stuck around does not mean she knows more than me. Mix that all up with a Thanksgiving dinner and let the fun commence! Oh god I can't believe I just said all that," I say rolling my face into a pillow.
I may be stoned, but I have feeling I would have spilled my guts to Peeta like that anyway. There is just something about him that makes me want to open up. That doesn't mean I'm not completely embarrassed about doing so. I expect to hear him getting up and leaving the tree house as fast as possible but instead there's silence, maybe he's too stoned and zoned out to hear everything I just said. At least I hope so.
Suddenly I feel some thick fingers gently stroking my hair at my temple and I look up to see Peeta has moved closer, his face only a few inches away. He has a glazed amused look on his face as he twirls my brown locks between his fingers. I reach out with my own hand and touch his curls as well. His hair is so soft and I feel the need to giggle. It definitely must be the pot that is making us act this way.
"Thanksgiving really sucks doesn't it," he states simply.
"Yeah it sure does" I say sitting up. Having Peeta so close to me, staring at me with those deep penetrating blue eyes of his is too much. I pick up the pipe again and start lighting.
"You think that Prim would ease up on you since you've been with the same guy since you were like 14?"
“What?” Or at least that is what I was trying to say. It turned into a choked “what” mixed with "ha!" as smoke spews out of my mouth and nose, causing me to cough uncontrollably. Peeta sits up quickly, patting me on the back looking helpless as tears stream down my eyes. I wave him off and blindly reach for a small hatch in the floor which I lift and pull out an Anchor Steam. Popping it open with the beer opener attached to the bottom of the hatch I gulped down a good portion of it until I feel better. When I wipe my tears away and look at Peeta I chuckle lowly at the mixed look of concern, astonishment, and amusement on his face. I never knew one face could hold so many expressions at once.
“Sorry about that, I thought everyone knew,” I answer a little hoarsely. “Gale broke up with me over a year ago."
"Why the hell would he make a stupid mistake like that," Peeta asked sounding genuinely surprised.
I just snort and hand him over the pipe which he immediately lights up, while I chug more of my beer. "He felt like we didn't have any 'passion' and I wasn't 'committed' enough to him, whatever that means. I mean, I gave him everything I could, but that wasn't enough for him. He's now seeing this gorgeous woman who dotes all over him, like you have, but he still acts like the wounded one. Like I'm the one who broke up with him. The worst part is that we see each other all the time since my sister is married to his brother. So basically I have to put up with Mr. Moody all the goddamn time. At least he's not here for Thanksgiving."
Silence presses down on us as I finish and I don't look up at him, feeling like a loser to admit that even when I’ve loved someone, it wasn’t enough. Again I can't believe I revealed so much to Peeta. I hate talking about what happened with Gale, and not even Prim knows what he said to me. It doesn't help that she can't give up the ghost that we aren't the perfect set of couples, two sisters married to two brothers. But here I am opening up for the first time ever about it to someone I barely know.
"I can't believe he let you go," Peeta says breaking the silence. Despite his hazy eyes, there is a fire behind them that is unexpected and I find myself fiddling with the wrapper of the beer bottle to have something to do.
"Yeah well it's not easy putting up with a surly closed off lil' ol’ me. I guess I can't really blame him. But enough about my pathetic personal life, why are you hiding out with town outcast Katniss Everdeen in her tree house?" I say changing trying to change the conversation.
"I'll put up with you any day Katniss." And the intensity in that statement makes me blush, but before I can respond, he continues talking. "Anyways, do I have to bring up my mother again? Have you not met her?" he replies, and it pulls a smile onto my face. Who has not been burned by the evil wrath of Mrs. Mellark at one time in their life. I can only imagine what it must be like to grow up with her. "I think I'm with Glimmer just because my mom actually likes her so I don't have to hear her nag incessantly about me finding the 'right woman.' Also the perks of being free for a few hours while they go shopping is an added benefit."
I can feel my smile grows wider and I don't know why it makes me so happy that he's not saying he's with his girlfriend because she is gorgeous. Not that it's probably the real reason. "What? You don't want to see the women in your life fight crazed people over a deal that's probably not worth it in the long run anyway? You might see some hair pulling, maybe even between them." I jest plopping my beer in his hand while grabbing the pipe out of the other and lighting it again.
"Well if you put it that way, I wouldn't mind seeing that bloodsport, but no thank you," he says before finishing my beer in one gulp. "Insipid conversation over the table while my fathers and brothers check out is enough family time for me. Now Ms. Everdeen, since I've been obviously ignorant of your goings on for the past ten years you will have to catch me up," he says before plucking the pipe out from my hand again and grabbing two beers from the hatch.
I want to tell him no, that my life is none of his business but as he hands me a beer before he settles on the cushions, not even looking at me while he lights up, his whole posture says he's listening, not judging. I just know I can trust him. So I settle back down and find myself opening up. We talk for over two hours, just going back and forth between what is going on in our lives. He tells me about the old Victorian he bought, sinking in his life savings in the place because he always dreamed of restoring one. I tell him about when I first moved to San Francisco with Gale when I turned twenty-one and how hard it was to be away from new mom Prim, but how she encouraged me. Peeta talks about his love of carpentry which he got into during college. He dropped out of school for an apprenticeship, to his mother's great disappointment, so he could learn how to create specialized furniture. He is now converting the basement into his woodshop and it's almost done. I tell him about getting into botany which turned into landscape architecture. He seems genuinely proud of me as I tell him how I landed a dream job with a landscaping firm in the city and how my boss Jane Paylor is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever worked with.
I can’t believe how fast the time has flown by as we talk. I usually can only stand being alone with someone a few minutes before I find an excuse to leave, but with Peeta, it is too easy hanging out with him in my tree house, while the rest of the world melts away. It could also be because we've had a couple more beers and passed the bong a couple more times.
Soon night has settled over the sky and we are lying on our backs looking up at the stars through the the skylight. We both have our hands tucked beneath our heads and our elbows are gently nudging each other. All I have to do is move a fraction of an inch so we don't touch and get the personal space that is usually so precious to me, but I'm too stoned, too relaxed, to content to move.
"Do you remember when our Biology class went to Joshua Tree, how bright those stars were?" Peeta says after we were silent for awhile.
"Yeah. I don't think I’ve ever seen so many stars in my life," I answer, but at the mention of that trip so long ago makes my chest throb in a reminder of a guilt that has haunted me, a thank you I should have told him years before.
"I was hoping that would be my opportunity to get to know you, actually talk to you, during that trip. That's why I signed up for that class."
"Really?" I ask turning to him and he just nods, still staring up at the stars but I feel his elbow lean into mine a little bit more.
"Kind of hard to get to know me when you were surrounding by all your buddies and fan girls the entire time."
"Yeah, I know," he said sadly.
This is the perfect time to tell him, to finally get it off my chest. "Do you remember all the damn candy we had to sell for that trip and the other one to Catalina Island? I never thought I was going to make the money needed to go." Prim had encouraged me to take the class but between taking care of her and working I never had enough time to sell the quota needed to handle the expenses.
"Yeah," Peeta answers with hesitation, not quite looking at me in the eye and that is all the answer I need.
I turn fully to my side and put my hand gently on his elbow. He had pulled his long sleeves up awhile back and his arm is smooth and warm under my hand. I can feel his hard muscle twitch with my touch but I don't move it and he turns his head to face me.
"I know you were the one who paid the difference for the trip. I don't know if it was through diving into your own wallet or if you simply sold more candy. Although considering that smooth tongue of yours I'm pretty sure it was the second. But I knew it was you and I never thanked you for it. I was too angry at myself for not being able to do it myself, too much pride and resentment. Man I was a brat," I say chuckling softly. "So thank you."
I like to see the warm glow that infuses his face, and the smile that creeps up. I should have thanked him a long time ago. He puts his hand over the one I have on his elbow, and he clutches it slightly. "No need to thank me Katniss. Really, like I said, I wanted to get to know you. And you're totally worth it."
I don't know what to say to that so I find myself just getting lost in his eyes, feeling his soft breath on my face, and enjoying his large rough hand over my small one. I don't realize that we are leaning in closer to each other until our noses bop and I giggle softly. I think something must just snap in Peeta and he leans in and kisses me.
It's only for a quick moment but if feels like it last forever. His dry soft lips fit perfectly over mine and though fast, the touch is enough to pull a large electric spark larger that completely overshadows the one from when our fingers touched. He pulls back and looks for my reaction and an unexpected emotion bubbles up in me. To my surprise I find myself laughing and I fall onto my back again letting it all out. I don't want to offend Peeta, but this is the most surreal moment of my life. I am smoking out in my childhood treehouse with Homecoming King Peeta Mellark who I had an incredible conversation with before sharing a kiss. I must have stepped into an alternate universe.
"Oh man, we are stoned aren't we?" I finally breath out and to my relief Peeta follows suit giving out a deep rich laugh. We both can't stop, and my stomach hurts as tears stream down both our eyes. I know part of it is the pot, but it feels good to laugh until it hurts. I haven't done that in such a long time. When we both calm down Peeta grabs my hand catching my attention and I turn back to him.
"I've wasted too much time not getting to know you," he says, the sweet smile still spread on his face.
"Me too," I answer and I surprise myself by meaning it. I could imagine in another life we could have been best friends, sharing many moments exactly like this all the time. But this small haven we found up here in a tree wasn't meant to last. Almost simultaneously our phones go off making us jump apart.
I answer mine and a panicky Prim is on the other line. "Oh my god Katniss, where are you. I know you need your space but you've been gone for hours..." She goes on and on about being left to deal with everyone and how Uncle Haymitch is passed out at the dining room table and she can't move him and mom has started weeping in the corner. She’s running on so fast, I can't catch a break to explain or apologize the entire time. My dear sweet sister is usually the calm rational one, but this third pregnancy and fourth child has really done a number on her emotions. After having three rambunctious boys, she made Rory get a vasectomy, but it was already too late for their last "oopsie baby."
As I try to calm her down, I pull on my jacket and I see from the corner of my eye that Peeta is doing the same. I tune out Prim to try to catch snatches of his conversation which consist of, "I'm sorry honey I was taking a breather," and "I know you wanted me to be there to help with all the bags when you got back but my brothers and dad are there..." and the always lovely to hear, “I’ll make it up to you when I get home baby.”
"I have to go," I say to Peeta after I hang up with Prim and he says the exact same thing at the exact same time. We both laugh, but it's not as easy and carefree as it was before. Reality is crowding in for both of us. I tell him to climb down first, and as he does so, I extinguish the lanterns and candles before putting everything away. I tuck the rope ladder away and climb down the tree the same way I came up. But this time Peeta hovers around me, his arms extended to make sure I don't fall even though I've done this hundreds of times. Just as I am in reach the bottom he puts his strong hands around my waist and securely lifts me up and puts me gently down on the grass. We stay that way for a moment too long, his hands holding my body against his warm chest, my heart pounding, and my breath caught in my lungs. I’m not sure whether it’s to push him away or bring him closer and just when I am about to put my hands over his, is when he lets go and steps back. So I turn around, trying to give a pleasant neighborly smile, but I'm sure it's not working.
"Well this has been a nice break Peeta." I say stepping back slightly to be a good safe distance from him.
"It was Katniss. I'm glad I have finally gotten to know you. So don't be a stranger in San Francisco okay? You promised to help me with the house and garden," he says looking sad.
"Wild Mellark women couldn't chase me away," I reply and for a moment, I see a sparkle back in his eye. I want to hug him, but in the end I decide it's better not too. I say goodbye one last time and turn towards the house, never looking back.
Once I’m back in the house I take a quick shower to wash off the smell of the weed so I don't get "busted" by Prim. Afterwards, my three year old nephew nestles on my lap demanding I read him a story. Prim settles next to me rubbing her swollen belly with her head nestled on my shoulder finally acting like her old self. The twins are running wildly around while their dad tries to corral them. Uncle Haymitch is passed out on the dining room table and Aunt Effie is droning on about designer labels to my mom who is staring out the window. Everything is back to normal and it's hard to believe that such a short time ago I was not only talking to Peeta, but connecting with him in a way I haven't with another person in a long time. It feels like just a crazy escape fantasy smoking out with him in my tree house, but a very good one. I guess Thanksgiving is not so bad after all.
_______________________________
I squint as I enter the market and a deep scowl sets on my face reflecting my righteously bad mood. I’m pretty sure I look like a complete asshole wearing sunglasses indoors at night, in the supermarket no less. I’m not doing it because I'm hungover since I don't drink when I'm all by myself; that would be sad. It's because I am in the only market in my area open Christmas Eve at 10pm at night and they have the brightest fluorescent lights in a ten mile radius.
The market is crowded with people desperate to get their last minute items before the market closes. I don't even want to look at the long lines at checkout. My way of handling it is too just weave through people, not caring if I bump into anyone which inevitably causes a string of protests in my wake. Those who do notice me, clear a path when they see my very unjolly face. At least being in a bad mood is good for something.
I just want to get out of here as soon as possible. I don't even know why I'm shopping. Despite the fact I will be going solo this Christmas, I still feel the need to make a "festive" dinner for myself. Even if I will most likely fail with everything I make, I have to give it a try. It just seems so wrong to eat pizza or thai food. Besides, I had both of those yesterday.
Looking through my small basket, I figure I have everything to get me through, so I check out and start making my way back home, relieved to feel the chilly night air around me. Shit, I forgot the cranberries. I stamp my foot like a sullen child, and spin on my heel, almost causing my grocery bag to upend me as I turn back to my own personal hell. There is no weighing the pros and cons of whether it's worth it to go back in there. It's cranberry sauce. I might as well order takeout and not make anything if I leave it out.
Now I find myself holding the last bag of cranberries the market has to offer, staring down at it like it's a ticking time bomb as people glare at me as they pass because I snatched the valuable commodity. I've never actually made cranberries in my entire life and I have no idea how to do it so I should put it down for a more deserving person. I should just get the canned version, but it's the last bag and my stubbornness is kicking in.
"Ms. Everdeen, in the market holding cranberries like it's cursed bag of gold. That's a sight." My heart starts beating faster at the familiar voice and I turn around to find before me the man who has been in every single one of my fantasies since Thanksgiving, how much I may fight it.
There Peeta stands, in a black hoodie zipped open low enough to show a white tank that fits tightly over his chest. He's also wearing faded jeans look like they've had better days but still fit perfectly on him and heavy black work boots. He is holding a hand basket piled with food and the muscles on his forearm bulge from the exertion. His hair is longer than when I last saw him and the curls threaten to fall into his eyes which are at this moment are paralyzing me into place. He looks better than any fantasy I've ever had. So I tear off my sunglasses and plaster a smile on my face.
"Peeta, nice to see you! Merry Christmas!" I say in such an uncharacteristic upbeat way that it makes me feel like I'm channeling Delly. But it's better than acknowledging that I have avoided being in his physical presence for the past month.
"It's good to see you to Katniss," he says, a pleasant smile on his face, but there is something in his eyes which is making my palms sweat and my stomach tight. The way his eyes keep me pinned to my spot says that I am the last bag of cranberries in the market and he's willing to play dirty to get what he wants. "It's been too long... too long. Thanksgiving if my mind serves me right. That day is a little hazy so I might have just imagined that we hung out."
"No, we did hang out," I say in a squeak of a voice. I inwardly curse at the lame obvious statement I just made, but he has walked up to me, his basket the only thing separating us and it has my entire body short circuiting.
"That's funny because my hazy memory recalls that you promised to hang out and even help me with my house but I haven't heard one peep from you." His eyes glint wickedly, and although his tone is playful, I can tell it is laced with hurt.
"I know, it's just been really busy..." I answer, fully aware that my excuse is completely lame. I'm fiddling with the cranberries in my hands so I don't have to look up at him. My fingers roll one berry beneath my fingers, crackling the plastic around it. Then I see a hand come out and do the same thing at the other corner of the bag, mimicking my movements.
"You know I was looking forward to it. Being friends with you," he says, his voice less playful, more sincere.
"I'm sorry." I look up at him wishing I could say something more. Wishing I was eloquent with words like he is. I would tell him that evening in my tree house was the best time I've ever had with anybody since my father was alive. I would tell him that a friendship with him would probably be the most meaningful relationship I've had in a long time and that the thought scares the living daylights out of me. I wish I could tell him that he deserves much more than that selfish bitch Glimmer but wouldn't dare.
But all I manage to say is a pathetic ‘I'm sorry.’ Maybe it's enough for now though, because his eyes soften and are kind, like he is ready to give me some slack.
"So you forgot cranberries too?" he asks and I let out a small chuckle.
"Yeah. Christmas isn't Christmas without a tart berry so loaded with sugar to make it edible it tastes like syrup, right?"
"My thoughts exactly. But I see that you may have taken the last one, thus you may potentially ruin my Christmas dinner. So how can I persuade you to part with the precious last bag Ms. Everdeen?" he says with playful amusement in his tone.
I pull the bag away from his hand, and clutch it to my chest, turning away slightly like it's the most precious object on the planet. "Why Mr. Mellark, nothing could part me from my cranberries. What ever would I do without it! You have to convince me," I say in mock indignation.
Peeta plops his basket on the ground and clutches his hands together in pleading formation. "Please have mercy on a poor soul who is eating alone on Christmas. The thought of cranberries is the only thing that brightens his night!"
"You're by yourself too?" I ask, dropping off the act. A cute flush comes to his face and he rubs the back of his neck in the way I know means he's embarrassed. I love when he does that.
"Umm yeah, I'm not going home for Christmas this year. Wait... too? You’re not going home?"
I laugh at that. My first real one in over a week. Maybe even since I last saw him. I hadn't even realized that I let it slip that I would be a loner for Christmas. "Yes. I'm all by myself for Christmas."
"But why? How? Why?" He fumbles out like he just got the best Christmas present in his life early. I lift a brow at him skeptically, wondering why the hell he is so happy that I am basically a loser for the holidays. He must realize how that may have sounded because his face turns bright red, and he gives a polite cough. "Umm, sorry it just seems impossible that you would ever be alone for Christmas. So why are you by yourself?" Although his tone is tempered, he still seems a little too happy about my situation.
"Never you mind that," I say sounding a little too much like a scolding elementary school teacher than I mean too. "I think I need a lot more alcohol before I talk about it. How about you? Why aren't you with your family?"
"Ugh, I didn't want to face my mother... Hey, why should I tell you if you aren't telling me." He crosses his arms stubbornly but he really could learn a lesson or two from me about scowling because he just looks adorable rather than defiant. Seeing his arms flex doesn't help his cause either. In fact from the corner of my eye I can see two women and one man stop their shopping briefly to stare at all his sexiness and I really can't blame them.
Peeta's look of stubbornness becomes one of unease and he starts to shift uncomfortably before I realize I must have been staring at him a beat too long. "Umm, I better purchase these, I'll see you around," I say before turning quickly towards the exit, my flight instinct taking over. I don't like his stupid arms, or how his smile makes my heart flutter uncomfortably, or how I've been dreaming about his piercing blue eyes staring down at me while he... I just need to get home, lock the door, and pretend he doesn't exist as soon as humanly possible.
"Wait, Katniss.." I hear Peeta yell out before he grabs my arm. Out of reflex I shrug out of his touch and I see his hand flex like he wants put it on my arm again. "I was only kidding, don't be mad." The thing is, I'm not mad, I'm scared. Peeta penetrates through my defenses like no other person before. "Would you like to maybe go out and have a drink with me, and we can both share our secret Christmas miseries?"
Damn him, why is he always able to draw a smile from me. Okay, he has a girlfriend, but why should I deny being his friend? "No I don't think that's a good idea Peeta." I only feel slightly guilty for the look of disappointment I see on his face. "I'm starving. Why don't we eat something instead." I conclude and I am rewarded with a large beaming Peeta smile.
"I have a better idea Katniss. We have all these ingredients. Why don't we cook it up and call it Christmas dinner. Who wants to wait until tomorrow anyway."
My stomach takes that moment to grumble loudly and we both laugh. "I think the answer is an obvious yes."
We check out together, no longer talking, just stealing glances at each other the entire time. It's strange how easy I feel around him, but at the same time I feel like I want to jump out of my skin in excitement. I don't understand why he is interested in spending more time with me but I'll take it nonetheless. I just have to keep telling myself over and over that we are just having a late night dinner as friends.
We end up agreeing to do dinner at my place. His house is at the peak of major construction before his New Years party and he didn't feel comfortable having me there. Although I am curious to see how it's coming along. Instead, he drops me off at my place, after much protesting on my part that I can walk home, before he goes to his own place to grab a couple of things then we'll do all the preparation at my house.
When I walk into my cozy flat I am so very close to calling him and backing out of our plans. I look at the state of my place and curse myself for not convincing him to get together at his place. Joanna and I aren't technically slobs, but we aren't exactly the cleanest people either. To top it off Jo left the house looking like a micro-tornado hit it before jetting off to her her vacation in Costa Rica. I spend all my precious time picking up random articles of clothing, too many of Jo's thong underwear, and other random crap from around the house. I stuff them into closets, drawers, under beds, and anywhere else I can, not caring if it's the right place or not, so long as the house has the appearance of clean by the time Peeta gets here.
When I'm done, I look around satisfied that it's good enough and then a brilliant idea comes to me. I light our fireplace with a quick duraflame log, throw down some blankets and pillows and light candles around the living room. I wanted to recreate the cabin, hoping that the ease we found with each other there would transfer over to our impromptu late night dinner.
The doorbell rings and I feel it's vibration directly in my stomach. Why did I agree to this? Why does Peeta make me more nervous than any man I've ever known? And why the hell didn't I clean myself up before he got here! I haven't paid attention to anything I was wearing, makeup or hair. I'm still in my ratty yoga pants, a white t-shirt that has a big stain on it, and not to mention my hair is in it's standard messy braid.
"Just a minute!" I yell out. Not having enough time to think about it, I run to my room and grab an old but very flattering orange maxi dress from my closet, tossing my old clothes to the back of the room in the process. As I throw the dress on I ponder briefly if I should put some makeup on but end up not even bothering with it since a) I don't have time and b) I hate wearing it anyway. Instead I just quickly swipe some strawberry chapstick for color. I rush towards the door knowing I've kept him too long, pulling the band out of my hair on the way and shake it out before I pull open the door.
Peeta jumps back slightly by the sudden opening of the door but then he seems frozen in place as he stands there for a good moment, mouth agape as he stares at me. I see his Adam's apple bob up and down harshly and I start fiddling with my hair nervously as he continues to be completely silent. I'm sure he's never seen me in a dress, and it can't nearly compare to how Glimmer looks in one, or any of his other gorgeous girlfriends he's had through the years.
"Hi Katniss," he finally manages to say in a rough voice. "You look beautiful. I brought the food." I realize he might just be nervous as he juts out the food at me to see.
"You don't look bad yourself," I say taking one of the bags before stepping aside so he could come in. I feel better about my own wardrobe change when I see he has put on a nice dark blue v-neck sweater and crisp dark wash blue jeans that look even better on his ass than the previous ones he was wearing. Not that I'm looking.
"Hey it's Christmas. I can't just show up looking like a slob," he cracks, looking down at me with a smile and a wink as he passes by me.
"Same here. Well, welcome to my humble abode," I say answer, giving a general sweep of the living room. As he looks around his body barely moves, but I can sense a tension in it, like he is uneasy.
"This place looks, ummm, certainly cozy," he finally answers. I give a harder look at my living room and I can feel my face turn bright red at my own stupidity.
"Oh god, it's not what it looks like, you must think I'm trying to seduce you or something." Although I intended my living room to replicate my treehouse instead it looks very romantic, like we are about to share an extremely intimate moment. "I just thought it would be nice to eat next to the fire," My words barely can be heard since their coming through my hands which are tightly covering my face.
I feel his hand pull on one of my own and I'm forced to look up. His face looks amused, but sweet in the way that's distinctly Peeta. "I get it, like the treehouse. I think it sounds like a great idea. Don't worry about it. And your place is really nice."
I just nod my head, and my instinct is to turn my hand over to twine our fingers together, but I resist and end up pulling my hand away a little bit too harshly. I see his face set in a small frown, but his eyes look determined and I have to wonder what he's thinking. Or maybe I don't.
"Well let's get this started before dawn breaks," I jest before turning swiftly on my heel heading down the hall towards the kitchen.
I hear him following me but I don't look at him until I plop the bags on my kitchen counter and give him an unsteady smile before pulling out what he brought.
"I thought we could make easy things so we can eat sooner than later. So I'm thinking grilled chicken with vegetables. Mashed potatoes should be fast enough to make, and cranberries are easy." He sounds all business and it makes me fear that I am in for a long awkward night.
"Sounds good. But I suggest you take the lead on this because I'm not the best cook ever. Sloppy Joe’s and ordering pizza is as far as I usually go."
He makes a face showing his clear disgust at my usual dinner choices before shaking his head. "Well I'm here to serve, m'lady," he says with a flourish of a bow and the gesture causes an uncharacteristic giggle to bubble out of my mouth.
Usually, I would regret sounding so girly except because of his silliness and my reaction, the tension is cut between us again and we start making our late night dinner more relaxed. Peeta works fast preparing dinner with surprising skill and adeptness. What he says is easy looks complex to my eyes, but as I assist him he patiently explains everything he is doing and my stomach grumbles fiercely at the amazing food that is emerging. I know his mom has a hired chef at their house so I wonder how he learned to do all this. Interspersed with lessons we chat, catching up on the weeks we haven't seen each other. Peeta tells me about what's going on with the progress of his place, I tell him about my new landscaping projects and we actually set a date for me to go over and check his yard.
We've only had a full conversation with each other the one time but just hanging out with him again, I realize how much I missed talking to him. Sure I have been fantasizing about his body, but the need to just be with him is just as strong. I thought maybe it was the pot that had us opening up to each other on Thanksgiving, but we've each only had a few sips of wine and it's just easy again. I start imagining spending many nights like this with him, preparing food with laughter and comfortable conversation. It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it and I decide at this moment I will not deny myself being friends with Peeta Mellark.
_________
"Oh my god I can't move. What have you done to me?" I moan to Peeta as we both lay on our backs on my living room floor. "Did you have to make that banana cream pie? I think you are trying to kill me with food." The room is nice and warm from the second log I put in the fireplace and my brain is fuzzy from the bottle of wine we've consumed. Content doesn't even cover how I feel right now. I pat my stomach and feel the bump betraying how much I've eaten and I think I might just have to sleep all night right here.
"I did nothing to you woman. You ate all the food of your own will and volition. I didn't force you to eat two slices of that pie. Who knew such a petite woman like you could pack away so much." I blindly swing my arm not looking at him and hit him in the stomach, causing an "oof," too my great satisfaction.
"Hey, food has never been easy to come by growing up so I appreciate it to the fullest now." Although my tone is light, I must hit a nerve with Peeta. He rolls over and lifts himself on his elbows to look down at me.
"I'm sorry, that was insensitive," he says, his eyes soft from wine and regret.
I reach up, not thinking and softly play with the curls on his head. "Hey don't worry about it, that was a long time ago. I was only kidding," I say giving him a reassuring smile. He leans closer to me, or maybe my fingers in his hair are pulling him down. The predator look comes into his eyes again, the one he had when he first saw me in the market, and my breath quickens at the sight. I know I'm pretty dense when it comes to how people see me, so for the first time I realize that maybe he wants me more than just as a friend. I brush it off as ridiculous, dragging my mind to Glimmer in her sexy Halloween costume, and I sit up suddenly to grab my glass, taking a sip of my wine.
"So now that we are properly inebriated, tell me why aren't you going home for Christmas? Something about your mother?" I squeak out.
I thought that mentioning his mother would be the equivalent of cold water but it seems to only make him bolder. Peeta sits up and moves closer, and I try to suppress my body's sudden need to quake. Our faces are only inches apart before he leans past me and grabs the wine glass that was sitting next to mine. It might have been my imagination but he seemed to inhale when he was closest to me.
"I think you were going to tell me first," he says, his voice husky after taking a long sip of his wine, before settling cross legged in front of me.
I should argue, challenge him that I made no promise but I just say, "Umm sure," my head feeling fuzzy and it's not just from the amount of alcohol I consumed. It doesn't help that the fire light is flickering in his blue eyes, almost making them golden in a hypnotizing manner.
"So tell me Ms. Everdeen, what drove you to conclude that Christmas alone is better than with the family you love."
That brings me to my senses and I can't help the huff that comes out. "Alone. That's an interesting word. Well my ex Gale is bringing his new girlfriend for starters. Since he's Rory's brother I can't very well say that I don't want him there no matter how awkward he makes the whole night. And then I will have to put up with Prim's disappointment that we aren't still together and she'll pressure me to try and 'make it work.' Not to mention that besides my mother, everyone is in a couple so I am just the loser sister 'alone' for another holiday. So I'd rather save them the trouble, let them have a peaceful day without me, and be 'alone' by myself than with other people."
Just like that night in the treehouse, I feel like a loser who has said too much. But Peeta puts his hand on my knee and I look up to see understanding in his eyes, just like before. He rubs my knee in a soothing manner, but feeling his large hand on me has the opposite effect, and I feel my body pulling tighter than a coiled spring.
"I know exactly what you mean, about being alone among people." I try to hide it, but I know my face betrays that I don't really believe him. He's so loved in our town, never without friends or girlfriends. Successful at everything he's ever tried. How can he know how I feel? Me, who's had a hard time connecting with anybody and couldn't keep the only person I thought I had something with?
"Yeah I do know Katniss," he says like he exactly read my mind. He emphasizes this by squeezing my knee a little harder. "Just because I'm surrounded by more people doesn't mean I don't feel the same way."
"I know, it's just you look so happy," I reply feeling ashamed once I see his smile that is so sad and bittersweet. It's more real than any smile he's had before.
"I think it's my turn to tell you why I didn't go home." Peeta shifts closer until his right knee knocks my left, his hand never leaving my other knee. In fact it starts to stroke my knee like he's not even conscious of it. I really should move away but I feel rooted to him by that wonderful hand. Like that, the connection helps me understand him just as much as his words.
"Tell me Peeta."
"I didn't come home because I wanted to avoid my mother's fiery wrath. Okay, now hear me out," he says when he sees me roll my eyes at the obvious answer. He finally let's go of my knee and runs his hand through his hair. He seems to mentally make a decision before putting his hand back where it was and I hate how relieved I am that he did.
"My mother is particularly angry with me because I broke up with Glimmer," he says simply, his eyes so fixed with determination they keep me transfixed. There is no look of sadness or regret at what he just said and I need to know more.
"What? Why? When?" is all I'm able to tumble out.
"The 'why' is because it's just like you said. I felt alone, even though I had a girlfriend. I really didn't care for her like I should and she wasn't in it for the right reasons either. We were both only acting a part. I only dated her to please my mother. Hell most of the things I've done was to please her, even though none of it was ever good enough. I will never be good enough."
He says this matter of fact, like he came to this conclusion a long time ago, and he's separated himself from his emotions. My heart still can't help hurting for him though. He has so much to offer, it's unimaginable she wouldn't be so proud of him. I am not ever good with words, so I put my hand over his instead, and he turns it over to intertwine my fingers with his own. A real smile creeps up a little on his face, not much, but it wants to break out. He takes a huge breath like he's going to make the biggest leap of his life and continues.
"The 'when' was Thanksgiving night." It takes a moment to sink in, but when it does I feel like I've been sucked into a tornado, everything spinning around me and nothing anchoring me in place except for his hand. He doesn't break eye contact with me and holds my hand a little bit tighter like I'm about to bolt. Which I'm pretty sure I look like I am about to do. He can't have broken up with her because of me? Could he?
"Oh," is all I am able to say. I break eye contact with him unable to face the hope and fear in his eyes so I stare at our joined hands. His are rough like mine but his are so large to my small ones. His skin tone is so much lighter than mine, but in the warm light you wouldn't be able to tell. They just look like they fit together.
"Katniss," he says gently, lifting my chin with his finger so I have to look at him again. "On Thanksgiving, when I was with you, for the first time ever I didn't feel alone anymore. I felt like I was finally with someone who understood me, who I can spend forever with. And it's not just because we were both were high." He laughs uneasily at this, and I am still wordless but a smile creeps on my lips. My brain is spinning with so many thoughts and feelings I can't pick out what I feel the most. Scared, hopeful, happy, confused, distrustful, it all just pings around in my head.
"Katniss do you feel the same way?" he asks almost pleading. And then my strongest emotion finally registers. Hopeful. He makes me feel like anything good is possible in my future. And he wants to share his hope with me. This brings out the next emotion - happiness, and all doubts and fears are pushed away.
My vocal cords feel paralyzed so I do the next best thing. Before he can even react I move forward and press my lips against his. His lips are stiff from surprise, but it only takes a moment for him to react, his free hand moving to the back of my head. He slants his lips over mine more comfortably, keeping my head there with his hand as he deepens the kiss. And what a kiss it is. Our first one shared a month ago was sweet but hazy, just a curious exploration. This one feels like lightening striking a dry bush and causing a massive fire. Peeta's tongue slides along my lips and I readily part them to allow him entrance. I whimper at the heady feeling of his sweet tongue exploring my mouth and I know if we had been standing my knees would have buckled. As it is, my entire body is quivering from the intense feelings his kiss elicits. The world seems to float away and I could be on a cloud above the earth and I wouldn't notice. I could stay this way forever, but our bodies are only human, and they fight for air. We break apart, panting heavily as we both try to catch our breaths, and Peeta leans his forehead against mine. His hand is still clutched behind my neck like he wants to make sure that we are always close.
"Yes, I feel the same way," I say, finally finding my voice. Before he can reply, I kiss him sweetly again and I feel his smile spread against my mouth.
"Good because for a moment there I was afraid you were going to say I'm some crazy love obsessed stalker," he says moving his head down to kiss the nape of my neck. I gladly oblige him, stretching it so he can gain better access.
"Oh you totally are a crackpot. But I guess like knows like." My voice is coming out in pants as his lips slowly move down until they are at the top of my breast bone.
"I guess so," he whispers before kissing the soft flesh above my left breast. I give up the fight of sitting up, my body crying to lay before him, and I fall back, holding his head to my chest so he comes with me. He puts up no protest, too busy sucking on my clavicle bone and his body lays half on mine, my leg finding a home between his thick thighs.
"I've dreamt of this Katniss," he continues, still in a low growl of a voice. He licks and sucks his way to my shoulder until he slides down the thin strap of my dress and then I hear him take a sharp intake of air as he realizes I wasn't wearing a bra. "Oh god this can't be real. I'm most definitely dead," he says pulling himself up slightly so he could bring down the other strap revealing both of my breasts to him. I am grateful for the wine because it keeps me too relaxed to try and cover up once I see the look of amazement on his face.
"Don't worry, this is very real," I say slightly chuckling at him, and it causes me to laugh a little more when when he pats the sides of my boobs to see how they jiggle.
"You don't understand Katniss," he says drawing a thumb over my left nipple, almost like he's testing to see if it might disappear. "I'm probably going to scare you by saying this, but I've dreamt of a moment like this, since well, you can have dreams like this. You've been my fucking wet dream since puberty."
I can't help but stare at him slack jawed. There is no way that Peeta Mr. Perfect Mellark has wanted me like that since he was young. How did I never notice? It's his turn to laugh at my expression, and he kisses the corner of my open mouth. "Believe it Everdeen. I don't think there'll ever be a time I won't want you."
If it was any other day, any other moment, I would probably pull myself from him and stop him cold, stop what I know is going to happen. It's too ridiculous, to absurd, too surreal. But here he is laying on top of me, looking down with adoration, something I have never seen in anybody, not even Gale. The room is warm from the fire, casting shadows playfully off the room. My record player is playing Joan Baez softly in the background with the rain tapping against the window almost in the same beat. I feel warm, safe and loved. It has to be the most perfect moment I've ever experienced in my life. Yes, normally I would run away, but right now I can't, I don't want to.
"Well what are you waiting for Mellark. Take what's yours," I say in a voice that is surprisingly sexy. Peeta is finally without words. All he does is groan before claiming my lips again.
There is no sense of time here on my living room floor. We spend minutes, hours, who knows how long just exploring and caressing each other with our mouths and hands. In between our heady kisses, Peeta slides his hands up my thigh, pushing my dress up until he pulls it over my head and I'm left only in my cotton cherry patterned panties. When I'm kissing the strong line of his jaw, my hands slide down until I reach the edge of his sweater. My fingers play with hard lines of his stomach, swirling past his pelvic bone before pulling up his sweater and shirt over his head. This is how we proceed, taking our time getting to know each other's bodies until we are both just in our underwear wound up tight with want for more.
"How far do you want this to go Katniss? It's up to you," he says, sliding his hand underneath my panties. His thick fingers easily find my clit and he presses circles into it, causing my breath to hitch. I move my leg that had been previously rubbing against his cock so his body falls between my own thighs. I then pull his face up so I can look at him directly in the eyes so he knows I'm completely serious.
"Peeta I want to do this with you. I want to feel you inside of me. Please," I plead. I've never wanted something so much in my life. I know that this is right.
Both of Peeta hands move up, and it his turn to take my face in his hands, while my own fall to his shoulders. One thumb comes up to softly rub along my bottom lip. He still has the look on his face like he can't believe this is happening. "I just want to be sure you want this Katniss. I know you might not feel the way I do, but I don't want you to regret this in the morning. I want to wake up with you in my arms, smiling up at me, not an empty bed."
He knows me too well. He knows I am a person who is more likely to run away from intimacy than embrace it. But I've never been so sure of something in my life. I know I won't regret this, and for the first time I'm excited for what the future holds. So I tell him exactly this, punctuating my words with little kisses on his perfect lips, but soon those kisses turn heated and desperate. Before we get too far I tell him we need a condom. He doesn't have one with him so I reluctantly leave him to get one of Joanna's, well three for just in case.
Not only are the other rooms cold, but I miss being in his embrace so I jog back as quickly as I can. When I enter the room, I see that his back is to me, bending down as he puts on another record. I hear the familiar tones of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and his butt strains against his tight boxer briefs as he sways a bit. It's too tempting so I tiptoe over and squeeze his bottom, hearing a satisfying yelp before he stands up quickly, turning around and grabbing me by the hips.
"Damn you are a silent woman!" he says pulling me towards him.
"Well you stomp around like an elephant," I can't help but retort. He looks like he's about to say throw an insult back but I slap the condoms against his chest and he changes his mind, swooping down to kiss me instead.
We sway there for a little bit to the ethereal tones of the music while we kiss, but my hand not holding the condoms has a will of its own. It slides down, briefly playing with the lines of his briefs before I push them down. I lean my head on his chest as I look down and I can't help but lick my lips at his visible desire for me. I take him in my hand and he is soft and full of heat as I stroke him to full hardness.
"Katniss, I can't take anymore," he groans as my thumb swirls his tip, moving around his pre-cum. He reaches for the condoms but I step back from him, letting two slip out and holding one up.
"Take off my panties first," I order and he just gulps and nods his head, before his hands shakily push them down until they fall and I step out of them.
"God you’re perfect," he mumbles and as I look at him, hard for me, body beautifully muscled, I think he took the words out of my mouth but I don't tell him.
"Stand still," I say before tearing the condom open. I pinch the tip and hold it with my lips before going onto my knees before him. I grab his ass as he utters a "What?" and before he can react I roll the condom on as far as I can with my mouth. I almost laugh at the choking sound he makes, which would defeat my current pursuit, but I keep going, feeling his fingers into my hair.
When I've succeeded I smile up cheekily, taking his hand so that I can pull him to the floor with me again. I cut off any words he was about to say with a kiss. We are finally back where we started, Peeta's hips finding a home between my thighs, but this time there are no barriers between us. As I look up at Peeta's face I still see apprehension in his eyes. I don't want him to doubt me, to fear this isn't what I want so I kiss the corner of his eye gently while I stroke his back in a soothing manner.
"Peeta, trust this. Trust us. I'm not going anywhere," I whisper in his ear and it's finally enough. No more words are spoken as Peeta expresses how he feels about me in other ways. Our slow and sweet explorations are a thing of the past. Our bodies become a blur of movement as we get lost in the intense passion that has grown between us. When Peeta enters me, it happens suddenly, but it's so natural, so right, that I just wrap my legs more tightly around him and call out his name. We've waited too long for this moment, so the room echoes with the slap of our skins as Peeta pumps furiously into me. I'm close, so close but I know I won't reach there before he does. Suddenly he flips us over so I am on top of him, and I realize he’s surrendering control of our movements.
Rather than pump up and down, I choose to slide back and forth along his cock, our sweaty slick skins aiding in the movement. With his hands gripping my ass, helping me along and my clit hitting his pelvic bone I'm in ecstasy, climbing higher and higher until I break apart above him, rending out a large cry. From toes, to fingertips my body is shaking so much from the intensity of my orgasm I no longer have control of my body, so Peeta flips me over again and starts pushing into me again, but his movements are no longer smooth. I hear him yell out my own name before he collapses partly on me, and I wrap my arms around him, pulling him all the way on top of me, wanting to feel his quickened heartbeat before it starts to slow down.
"God Katniss, I think that was the best Christmas present ever. Please tell me we'll be doing that again," he says before pulling out of me and rolling onto his back. I chuckle feeling light headed and giddy from what we've just done. I turn over so I can rest my chin on his chest, running lazy circles on it.
"As long as you’re up to it Mellark, I'm game."
__________________________________________________
It's too early for someone to be knocking at my door. The light is barely tinging the sky but there is that loud obnoxious noise waking me up from my deep and very comfortable sleep.
We never did make it to my bedroom, or even onto the couch last night. After adding another log to the fire, flipping the record and dozing we went at it again, and again. I'm definitely glad I grabbed three condoms. Completely spent, Peeta just grabbed some pillows and a throw from the couch so we could wrap ourselves in a safe little cocoon before we both promptly fell asleep. Now we are a tangled mess of limbs and I don't know which are his or mine as I give a half-hearted effort to get up.
"Who is that at the door?" he mumbles into my hair before he draws me in tighter like I'm a teddy bear.
"It's Prim," I mumble into his neck, instinctively knowing her distinct knock even though I'm half asleep. "Prim!" I sit up suddenly, clutching the blanket to my naked chest as reality hits.
"Mmm that's nice," Peeta mumbles, clutching a pillow since I pulled away from him. I look down and realize I've revealed how very naked he is sprawled out on my living room floor, he shifts his bare ass a little and panic sets in as my sister's knock gets louder.
"Peeta, you need to get dressed," I say pushing his shoulder. God, I don't want him to get dressed. He just mumbles an "ok, sure" before he rolls his head the other way. So I push him harder until he stands up, tousling his hair as he tries to wake up. I shove his clothes into his arms and push him towards the bathroom. Oh lord, he's almost full mast again. I hope he takes care of that, quietly, before he comes back out.
Once he's safely in the bathroom, I hastily throw my maxi dress back on and open the door. Before I can even say hello, my sister blurs past me all blonde braids and cupcake pajamas like a big pregnancy whirlwind. Buttercup rushes out of the recesses of my room once he hears his former owner and winds around her legs. She ignores him though as she's gearing up to begin in her rant.
"Katniss, I'm here to take you home with me. You can't do this to me, you just can't! It's fucking Christmas, and you are going to abandon me!" She starts pacing back and forth in my living room, tears streaking down her face as she goes on and on about having to hold the family together, not wanting to deal with crazy relatives alone, tired of Gales moodiness, etc etc.
I know my sister, especially when she is pregnant. She is like double dutch jumping rope and if I don't jump in at the right time, I'm just going to be in worlds of pain. So I keep quiet as she lets it all out, scanning the room for any evidence of Peeta and I making love in this room not hours ago. Shit. The trashcan. While Prim is pacing back and forth in her hormone induced rant, I try to discreetly push it back with my foot so that she doesn't see the used condoms in it. Then I notice my panties and push it under the couch. But then I hear a soft grunt coming from down the hall and I know it's Peeta "taking care of business." I hope Butterscotch's yowls at Prim cover the sound.
Prim stops and turns to me and I'm afraid she heard it too. "Are you even listening to me?!" she says and I breathe a sigh of relief. I could kiss that flea bitten bastard.
"Come here," I say pulling her towards the couch, knowing here's my chance to finally get a word in. I hold both of her hands in my own and start rubbing soothing circles with my thumbs hoping it'll calm her down. Butterscotch curls next to her and starts to purr, probably doing more to soothe her than what I'm doing. "I'm sorry Prim, I know I've been an ass about this. I just couldn't face Gale and his perfect girlfriend. It’s hard feeling like the odd man out all day long. I was being selfish and I should have thought of you and the boys."
"I'm sorry too!" she says throwing her arms around me. "I shouldn't have been pushing you to get back together with Gale all this time. When I saw the twat he was with yesterday I knew he didn't deserve you. I need you with me Katniss. I'm scared. What am I going to do with a fourth baby? I was going to sign up for nursing school, and now we have another mouth to feed. How did I become that breeder?"
Prim just cries and cries on my shoulder and I know she must have been holding in her fears of a fourth baby for awhile, especially since Rory is so excited about the prospect of having a little girl. With the hormones running rampant in her, it just came out crazy. I rub her back, soothing her as best I can. I tell her I will always be there for her, and that it's not too late to go to school. There are online classes and of course the grandmothers and myself will always be there to babysit. Hell, the boys are the only thing that makes my mom happy these days, maybe if she had them more often her depression would stabilize. She finally calms down to my relief, but then I feel her body stiffen as she sniffs me. Shit.
"Katniss you smell like sex!" she says accusatory. She pulls back and for the first time she takes a good look at me, my inappropriate morning dress, my dishevelled hair and the hickies that I'm sure are peppering my body. Peeta was not careful last night, but then again neither was I.
"Don't tell me you slept with some loser to get back at Gale?" I'm about to protest when I hear the bathroom door open and I turn nervously towards the living room door. In comes Peeta with a sheepish smile on his face. I kind of hate him for how pulled together he looks in his blue sweater and dark jeans, hair slicked back, like he stepped out of a J Crew catalogue while I look like I just did the walk of shame.
"OMG! Peeta Mellark!" Prim practically screeches like she is sixteen again. "How the hell did you pull that! You didn’t drug him did you?" she says turning to me. I feel absolutely no guilt in punching my pregnant sister in the arm which also causes Peeta to laugh.
"Hi Prim, it's good to see you," he says stepping forward to shake her hand. She jumps off the couch, dislodging the cat who howls in protest and stalks away. Prim ignores Peeta's hand and gives him a big hug; well as big as it can be with the melon in the way.
"Ewww you smell like sex too," she says pushing him away. It's my turn to laugh as I see his face turn beat red. I'm sure he cleaned up but Prim could be a drug sniffing dog considering how sensitive her nose is when she's pregnant. "Now you have to come home Katniss! Show Gale how much better you can do. Please? And you too Peeta. Join us for Christmas dinner."
She's grabs both our hands, and looks back and forth between us with those large blue innocent eyes of her. We exchange looks and both of us nod our heads in silent agreement. There is no way you can ever say no to Prim Everdeen Hawthorne.
"Anything for you," Peeta says before kissing Prim's knuckle, causing her to giggle. He steps over to me and pulls me into his arms. I wrap my arms tightly around him, enjoying the feel of him against me. "And anything for you too," he whispers into my hair.
"You guys are so cute together, I always imagined what a great couple you would be," Prim gushes. I chose not to point out that she said the same thing about Gale and I.
"Just one thing," Peeta says, his tone sounding serious. I pull back to look at him and I can see there is a look of mischief in his eyes. "If I'm coming down then I'll have to see my family and I'm not doing it without my new girlfriend?" he says the last word with hesitance since we didn't discuss this.
"Ugh," I groan, fighting my smile. "Fine, introduce me to your mother. But my 'boyfriend' better find a way to thank me later."
______________________________________
"I can't believe I go to Costa Rica for five damn days, and I come back to find that you drank the fucking kool-aid."
It's New Years Eve and if I thought Peeta confessing he wanted to be with me was surreal, this moment is even ten times more than that. Peeta is having a party at his place, like he did on Halloween, and it is jam packed with people drinking, dancing and trying to grab his attention. He really has too many friends. What's the crazy part is how I have taken over the roll of Glimmer as "the girlfriend" so seamlessly and it has only been a week since that wonderful Christmas Eve. Peeta walks me around introducing me to everyone, a huge smile on his face as I shake hands with each of his friends. Occasionally some of the girls have given me dirty looks when he is not looking, but mostly people are really nice, and dare I say look relieved. Socializing is not easy, but his friends are so welcoming it's hard not to like them. Doesn't mean I'm not still glad that Joanna is here with me as emotional support.
"Hello? Brainless, are you evening listening to me. Stop checking out your boyfriends ass. We have some issues to talk about," she yells in my ear as we stand by the bar, getting more drinks. Okay, emotional support may be an exaggeration.
"What do you mean I drank the kool-aid?" I ask trying to be patient.
"Well namely you are a in 'couple' now, practically ready to walk down the aisle like all those other fools who think marriage is the gateway to happiness. Now I'll have to call you some sort of combined moniker like Everlark or some shit like that. Ooh, Peenis, I can handle that one." She chugs down her gin gimlet in one gulp and motions to the bartender Peeta hired for the night that she wants another.
I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to be patient, "Joanna can you please not marry me off to Peeta after only a week of dating?" I answer.
"Well you've already met each other's families. That's the obvious next step." I have to roll my eyes at her for that not-so-stellar example. I don't even need to reply, she knows what happened.
Once Prim and Peeta's cars pulled up the driveway of my family's house, Rory came out immediately, concerned about his missing wife and relieved to finally have her home. Prim was still an emotional wreck and instantly started crying when she saw his haggard face. He picked her up and carried her to their room where she then slept for most of the afternoon. Rory went on to take care of the boys so poor Peeta had to deal with the rest of my family without their buffer. Namely my uncle. He was on a huge bender, ranting that I could live a lifetime and not deserve Peeta. Uncle Haymitch is lucky that Peeta didn't punch him, but just gritted his teeth and held my hand tightly, a little too tightly. Then there was Gale's new girlfriend who was as stupid as Prim had said, and we had to endure her endless prattling with Aunt Effie over makeup techniques. Gale on the other hand gave the both of us death stares, like we were the ones who had wronged him. We eventually ended up holing ourselves in the kitchen making Christmas dinner to get away from everyone.
The fun didn't end there. After dinner, we had the joy of visiting his family for dessert. Where my family was loud trashy melodrama, his was restrained waspy drama. Although his father and brothers were nice, they were very quiet and subdued, like they were walking on eggshells. Which had everything to do with Peeta's mother who was every bit a bitch I expected her to be to me. The entire time we were there she kept giving subtle insults about my lack of fortune, breeding and looks. She constantly compared me to Glimmer, how she had all these attributes, and was basically a perfect match for Peeta. By the end of the night and one too many glasses of wine, she practically accused me of being a gold-digger after the Mellark Bakeries fortune and Peeta pulled me out of there immediately, apologizing profusely for her behavior. I was this close to slapping her soap opera style, Peeta’s just lucky he’s so damn fast. I'm surprised our relationship survived that first night, but I guess driving me home and "making it up to me" for three hours straight helped.
"Try again Mason. You know that night was a disaster. What's got your panties in a twist about me being with Peeta?" I ask Joanna.
"Oh come on, you know you both love that 'star-crossed' lovers B.S. And I see the way you two practically eye-fuck each other every chance you get," she says motioning to Peeta across the room, who is in fact looking at me instead of paying attention to Delly who is talking away. "Makes me want to heave. I can't believe Katniss Everdeen is one of the pod-people."
"Why are you being such a victim about this?" I say and for once I can't hide the hurt in my voice. "I thought you would be happy for me."
Joanna finally has the grace to look guilty, before she crosses her arm in a defensive posture. "I'm just going to miss my wingwoman that's all. Soon you'll be moving out, and then I'll have to rent your room to some stupid college student who I'll have to torture endlessly just to feel better," she says looking at the floor. I can't believe what I'm hearing. The wingwoman thing is a terrible excuse, my bad attitude has cockblocked her more than anything else. Joanna is actually worried that I won't be there for her anymore.
"Awww, Joanna you do have a heart after all. Don't worry I'll always be there to annoy you and do 'brainless' things." I wrap my arms around her crossed ones, and she tries not to smile as I give her a bear hug.
"See he's made you all touchy feely already. The Katniss Everdeen I know doesn't hug," she answers, but she doesn't fight to get out of the circle of my arms, and in fact puts her chin on my shoulder.
"What's this I see here?" Peeta says walking up to us, amused by this rare show of affection between the two of us.
"Joanna doesn't like you because you’re stealing her wingwoman," I say hugging her a little tighter until she finally pushes me away in an unconvincing huff.
"What? She has to like me, she's your best friend!" I can tell that Peeta is genuinely concerned even though he's trying to play it off as a joke.
"Oh get over it bread boy. I'm sure you'll wear me down eventually. I mean you got this ice cube to like you," she says picking up her drink and pointing it at me.
"Well how about if I become your wingman? I'm sure I'd be way better at it than the iceberg." Peeta answers, a sincere boyish look on his face.
"Hey how did I go from being an icecube to an iceberg!" I protest but they both completely wave me off.
"How do you know how to hook a girl up Mr. Sweetness & Light? Prove it and I'll consider liking you. Pick someone for me," Joanna challenges.
"Well how about Thresh over there," Peeta says pointing to a very handsome 6'4" man with ebony skin. “I've seen you looking at him, but it can be hard to penetrate the defensive line of protective girls surrounding him. Sure none of them are actually dating him, but it can be hard getting past that wall of women; they might shank you with a sharp nail," he answers.
"Don't I know it," Joanna says slamming down her drink. "Damn cockblockers. They wouldn't let me get within 1 yard of him all night long. I don't think you can do it."
"Ripper, 6 tequila shots if you please," He says ignoring her and turning to the bartender. She complies, deftly pouring Patron in six shot glasses, and piles some limes in a glass. Peeta easily gathers them all up and a salt shaker with his large hands before turning to Joanna.
"Well come with me, let me show you," he says sticking out his elbow out to her. And to my surprise Joanna puts her hand through his arm without a fight.
And just like that they leave me behind without another look, but I'm not mad. I'm more curious as to what will happen next, so I settle at the bar with my whisky sour and enjoy it's slow burn as I observe the action.
Peeta proceeds to take Joanna to the group, and offers them all shots which the girls all readily accept. When they each lick their hand to put the salt on, Joanna makes sure to take her time with her tongue sensuously grazing it across her hand which Thresh definitely observes, but the other girls are too busy passing around the salt to see. Loud cheers are shouted all around before they each chug it down and suck down the limes. I can see the girls are too giddy from the alcohol as well as preoccupied with with Peeta to notice that Joanna is making a move on Thresh. While he is telling a story that has all the girls laughing, Thresh and Joanna have quickly separated themselves from the rest of the group, and bend close to each other to hear what the other is saying over the noise of the party. Their body language clearly displays their interest in each other. Peeta uses his own body to separate the girls even further, creating a big separation between them and the other two. Peeta is definitely one excellent wingman.
Up until this point I've been happy sitting at the bar, watching the action from afar until I realize the girls are starting to get a little handsy with my boyfriend. One girl rubs her hand up and down his arm while tossing her hair and fluttering her eyelashes. Then another girl actually grabs his butt and I'm ready to break a beer bottle on the bitch. But I should trust Peeta because he slides away smoothly, never breaking a smile and motions to some of his guy friends to come over and meet the girls. With their short attention spans now focused on these other men, Peeta slips away and comes back to me with a relieved look on his face.
I hop off my stool and before I can make another move, he grabs my hand and wordlessly drags me to the kitchen. I quickly observe that it's blissfully quiet before he pushes me against the refrigerator and cups my face with hands so he can give me a kiss so deep, so passionate I forget what my name is for a moment.
"What was that for?" I say panting into his mouth.
"I've been wanting to do that all night. You're driving me crazy in those little black shorts," he says squeezing my ass to make a point. "And then there’s that jealous scowl that could scare a serial killer pushing me over the edge."
My laugh rings out in the empty room, and I throw my arms around his neck so that I can pull him closer to me. "You're ridiculous Peeta Mellark. Only you would like my scowl."
"It's the sexiest part of you...when it's not pointed at me obviously." He says starting to nip and suck on my neck. He presses me into the refrigerator and I can feel how hard he has become. My answer is to hitch my right leg over his hips so I could rub against it.
"That was masterful wingmanship Peeta, Joanna's going to... oooh..." I lose all train of thought as his hand on my ass slides underneath my shorts and panties, passes my butt and finds my slit.
"What Katniss? You seem to be distracted right now." I have a very good retort for him, but I feel his fingers plunge inside of me and I'm too busy clutching his hair, and pulling his mouth to mine so I can feel his tongue to say anything. We must look like horny teenagers dry humping and making out furiously. I'm pretty sure we are going to leave a dent in his new stainless steel refrigerator.
Just as I am pulling him out of his pants, the kitchen door bangs open making us jump apart. "Peeta we are running out of beer. And we also need the champagne for the New Years Toast," Delly says backing into the kitchen with two large empty trays. Peeta scrambles behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and puts his chin on my shoulder. What looks to be a show of affection is really him just hiding his exposed boner from his childhood friend.
"Hey Katniss are you having fun?" Delly says oblivious as she picks up two new trays of food. I just reply with a "mmm hmm" hoping she doesn't notice how flushed I am. While Delly prattles on how awesome the party is going on, my cool facade is broken by a very uncharacteristic giggle.
"Stop laughing or she's going to catch on," Peeta whispers in my ear.
"Well stop poking me in the back. It tickles," I mumble under my breath, but my ridiculous statement catches up to me and I start uncontrollably laughing, which set's Peeta off too.
Delly stops talking and looks at us weirdly for a moment as we try to control our laughter. "You guys are just so cute together. I always told Peeta not to be a chicken, just to go for it. See, and look at you now. I was totally right. Now don't take too long." And just like that she is out the door with the two trays, and we both slump against each other in relief.
Our reprieve is short lived as the door bangs open again, making Peeta clutch pull me tighter to him. "Hey Brainless 1 and 2 bring the damn champagne out, we've got ten minutes until the ball drops and I'm not missing out a toast and New Year’s kiss with Mr. Tall Dark and Yummy because you can’t keep your hand out of Mellark’s jeans. Seriously Mellark, zip it up," says Jo, before promptly leaving again.
I let out a big frustrated sigh and turn around to hug Peeta around the waist. "God damnit will we ever find some alone time together. This is all your fault for having a party." I say into his chest, sounding sulky.
"Hey, I'm sorry. When I planned this, I didn't expect that I would actually get the girl of my dreams and want to spend all my time with her," Peeta answers rocking me slightly.
"Girl of your dreams? Please, I hardly rate a strong like." I answer trying brush off his compliment. I'm still having a hard time believing he's liked me for so long, but he won't give up, making sure I know it's true.
"Live with it Everdeen. Delly was right. I should have asked you out a long long time ago but I was a big fat chicken."
"Well you're not a chicken any longer. More like a good cheese, maybe gouda."
"Gee, thanks for the compliment," Peeta says drily and I give him a big smile. "Ugh, we better get out there before your crazy friend comes back."
"Yeah, I guess so," I say, enjoying being in his arms, just the two of us, for a minute longer. Sex with Peeta is so intense, so amazing, that it's the best I've ever had and I can't get enough. But I love these quiet moments just as much because I never knew I could be this close to a person.
We finally break apart and Peeta tucks himself back into his pants. When he pulls up the zipper, there is a brief pained look since he was still slightly aroused. I step up and fix his curls and collar while he straightens out my blouse. A slight shiver of fear runs through me that's surprising in it's nature. It's not that I'm afraid to be close to him, which I expected I would be, but I'm afraid that what we have might end because I never want it to.
The look in his eyes tell me he understands, and he gives me a gentle chaste kiss that speaks volumes of comfort. He opens the fridge and starts pulling out the bottles of champagne and I help him by grabbing some too. Just before we are about to leave the quiet respite that is the kitchen, Peeta turns to me. "Hey, so I think we should stake a claim on a holiday that is just for us. I was thinking we should take advantage of the three day weekend for President's Day and we can travel down the coast. Maybe find a cute bed and breakfast in Santa Cruz or Carmel and waste the entire day inside."
"I think that I can pencil you in for that weekend, Mr. Mellark." I say with a wink and Peeta answers with his blindingly beautiful smile. This one is fully genuine and meant only for me. The sounds of music and jovial people burst around us as we step out, and as we start opening the bottles I can't help thinking about what is soon to be my favorite holiday, President's Day. The one where I get to have Peeta all to myself.