Chapter Text
I’m sitting behind storage crates, bereft of thermal clips and hitting the medigel hardcore. I’ve had to run through an electrical storm that nearly fried me and my team- including my goddamn partner- fight two heavies and a horde of Cerberus grunts, and so far I’ve run into three (!) engineers with turrets that are somehow hiding from my bio sensors.
Commander John Shepard is officially sick of this shit.
Let’s take a breather for a sec here, Shepard. Can’t just eezo blast everything in existence, as satisfying as that would be. If I’m being honest with myself, or anybody else for that matter, I would biotic my way through a battlefield if that was possible. Screw the guns. And yes, biotic is now a verb. Add it to the dictionary, boys .
Unfortunately these things have a cooldown, and I need my shotgun. And said shotgun is currently out of clips, and why the hell in a fucking Cerberus facility are there so few thermal clips?
Liara’s tossing singularities left and right, beautiful and deadly like that ridiculous electric storm just an hour ago. (An hour of fighting off these goons in this godforsaken place, is that it? Feels like it’s been days.)
And I’m starving, just to add insult to injury. Probably overdid the biotics this trip.
Across from me and behind a stack of his own crates sits Kaidan, calm as a sphinx and just as sexy, carefully counting his own thermal clips and doing Kaidan-math in his head to time his own attacks. I know what he’s going to say later. ‘If you weren’t so damn impatient you’d have paced yourself and not gotten into that position in the first place.’ Followed by a pause just long enough to be considered insubordinate, and then ‘Commander.’ I can hear his raspy voice in my head, saying that exact thing, dripping with whiskey and a touch of the hazelnut that always shines through his eyes. I think that hazelnut might actually run in his blood, and inexplicably the urge to taste it comes to me.
I must’ve been staring, as I often do, because he’s looking over to me with a tolerantly exasperated expression, telling me in not so many words that this isn’t the time or place for those thoughts, and yes of course he knows me well enough to know the direction those thoughts were headed. I grin at him in return.
The blood’s up, and I’m hard in my undersuit and N7 armor. It’d be painful if not for the fact that I’d gotten the armor modified shortly after discovering the... side effect of vanguard-style biotics. That side effect has only gotten worse since Kaidan joined the team.
Sure, it isn’t every fight, but the tough ones? Charging, pounding novas, blasting heads off with my beautiful Piranha. And then stabbing the rest in the stomach with my omni-blade before flying across the room again… like a high-powered rocket with a bad case of ADHD… yeah, there’s no vanguard in the universe that can keep themselves down after that.
There’s a lull in the fighting, and I’ve got the feeling that Cerberus is almost out of goons to throw at us, but god dammit what am I going to do without some thermal clips? Can’t run into the fight like I normally do. I’ve got one left for the pistol but do I really want to run into a hot zone with nothing but a pistol? I do not.
If Cortez could get through this electrical storm we could just rendezvous at the LZ. It should be over by now, but I’ve gotten nothing from him over the comm. So looks like we’re stuck here.
“Commander.” Kaidan scoots over to my side of the room, watching carefully for more enemies. Liara’s cover is a few meters behind us and she’s on alert. He and I can strike up a conversation while she watches our six. Maybe plan a date for later.
It’s obvious what that conversation will be about. At least to anybody who has eyes.
“Kaidan,” I purr. He shivers.
“Shepard.” Shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You need some calories. And why are you so impatient? You wouldn’t be out of thermal clips if you’d just spare two seconds to think ahead for once.”
I snicker as I take the offered protein bar. Isn’t that exactly what I thought he’d say?
Jeez, K. I hope I’m not as predictable as you are.
Maybe this is why he thinks he’s boring. Predictable isn’t boring though, is it? Not in my book. He’s my anchor when I’m out floating in space. My one constant in this crazy universe.
Goodness knows, I need an anchor. As reckless as I once was, prior to the whole phoenix rising bullshit I pulled, now I’m a flat out madman. They don’t think I know it, but I do. Jump into one fire and get caught alight before I fly to the next. Not even bothering to put them out, just making them burn the right way, efficiently, like the military machines they need to be.
I’m not scared of the flames anymore. I can’t afford to be, anyway. We’re fighting extinction, after all. And maybe it’s not healthy, but dying once has a way of changing you. I’m not invincible, but you can’t tell that to my heart.
In other words: why am I like this? Because fuck it , that’s why.
Kaidan, god bless the man, isn’t afraid either. He’s along for the ride, to shelter me when I’m burning too bright and too fast for my own good.
Fucking shit , I love him so much.
And you’d think this whole line of thought that runs through my head in five seconds would calm me the fuck down, wouldn’t you? It’s quiet, no more gun shots; hell, we might’ve actually gotten rid of the last of them. But the blood is still up.
Sometimes it goes like that.
Protein bar is gone now and I’m looking at him. Into him, really, those deep pools of swirling brown, multiple subtle shades shining in the light. I want him. Not just in the way a man wants his lover.
I want to lay claim to him, mark him as my own. He says he’s my good soldier. On the battlefield there’s no doubt about that. I’ve just spent the last hour watching him fight, and there aren’t many out there that could challenge him and have a chance of winning.
No. I’m talking about a completely different kind of battle. Or dance, or whatever other people call it. Never understood that analogy, but to each his own.
He’s my good soldier elsewhere, too, but still. I want to make him prove it to me. Because it’s hot. Because I can.
There’s a devious little seed growing in the center of my mind, asking me to water it so I can see what it looks like fully matured. That seed has some potential. I’m curious.
“Kaidan,” I purr again, and oh , the word itself drips sex.
“Shepard, you do realize we’re in hostile territory, don’t you? Can’t you be professional for a little bit longer?”
I don’t dignify that with an answer. I kiss him, instead.
His head is pushed back against the crate behind him, and he takes in a startled breath as I straddle his lap. My mouth is slanted on his and my tongue licks its way into him. It meets no resistance. It never does.
The taste of Kaidan is like an ocean breeze, salty and sweet and wet , so very wet, I want to just drown in it, pull him down so we can drown together. He’s moaning against my mouth while his own warm tongue meets mine, tasting me too. But his mouth is so hot and welcoming, unlike mine. I’m all hard angles and rough notes, like an earthy wine. He’s far more refined, each part of the attack and tongue and finish in perfect balance. So I force him back, fighting for purchase and winning. It’s a game with a predetermined outcome that we both love to play.
My hand has reached out to grab his hair- when did I even do that?- and I slide my palm along the scalp, gently moving down to his neck where his implant rests. He tenses, covered in goosebumps.
“Shh,” I whisper against his lips. “Just let me.”
God, his face when I force his head back with my hands in his hair. I move my lips down his jaw, nipping as I go, further to his neck, behind his ear, licking and breathing into the shell of it, grabbing the lobe with my teeth and pulling. Perhaps a little too hard, because he bucks his hips up towards me a little bit and makes a strangled noise.
I huff a laugh and let go, but he rests his head against my shoulder. It’s a different kind of adrenaline rush, with a smooth but steep comedown. I’m here to watch over him when it happens.
My body knows no such thing, though. That seed is growing fast, and I want him now, right here.
Another Cerberus wave is coming, boots pounding down the far hall, and I sigh as we both sit up to, hopefully, finish this. I’ve got better things to do.
Smirking, my partner tosses me a thermal clip, just the kind I need, and I glare at him half-heartedly. Of course he was saving one for me, the smartass. He just wanted an excuse to come over and tease me, didn’t he. Yeesh, I’m a bad influence, teaching him how to manipulate people, and for once it’s completely unintentional. Or manipulate me, I should say. But maybe he always knew how to do it and held himself back with that… integrity of his. That self-control.
Now he’s comfortable enough with me to challenge it some. It’s little things like this that show me just how much he trusts me. It makes my heart ache.
Shots ring out as Liara pops up from cover. A glance back shows she’s amused by our display, used to it as she is. It’s like we don’t even care that we’ve had dozens of men thrown at our feet throughout this facility; we’d rather act like sitcom stars than soldiers. Used to death and perhaps too cynical by now. We are a strange bunch of people.
Alright, it’s time to fly. Sooner the better.
I focus on a trooper whose shields are most of the way down, and prepare to launch across the room, reveling in the adrenaline rush, when suddenly he’s tossed into the air, making him an unavailable target.
It’s Kaidan, I know it. He’s messing with me. I glance over to confirm it, and yep, he even waited for me to look before casually knocking the guy out of the air with his pistol. The soldier falls to the ground on top of two dead comrades and I glare at Kaidan. He doesn’t return the gesture, but I can see that stupid little smirk on his face.
Oooooookay , Kaidan Alenko. Take my kills from me and I’m just going to have to funnel this pent-up energy elsewhere.
I’m half convinced he’s asking for it. More than half, in fact.
Another shot rings out, and a bullet grazes the crate near the top of my head. Whoops, guess I rose out of cover a little too far. Gettin’ a little too excitable over here. He’s gonna yell at me later, but right now I couldn’t give a rat’s ass .
What time is it, again? Time to fly , that’s what I said.
Three more drop, Liara and Kaidan comboing biotics and pistols, and there’s two left. They’re mine, dammit.
Before my teammates know what’s going on, I’m across the room, fist in the ground, yelling and cursing as I take two men in the prime of life to death in the space of a few breaths.
When it’s clear they’re done moving for good, I let out a cry that must sound like one of those old Tarzan vids, loud and full of testosterone and just as cheesy. It feels damn good. I was made for this, even brought back from the dead for this, and I do my job.
There’s static in the suddenly silent room, the radio, and Cortez’ voice comes in clear as day over my omni-tool. “Five minutes out, commander. Sorry for the delay. Hell of a storm out there.”
“Copy that, Cortez. Meet you at the LZ.”
The other two are well trained soldiers, so they follow me silently like the deadly shadows they are. We don’t run into any more enemies. Figures they’re all dead now that we have a ride out.
In the shuttle, Kaidan avoids my eyes. His blood’s down. Mine sure as hell ain’t.
I crowd him against one wall, the inch or two I have on him making me feel larger than life as I look down. I lift his chin and he meets my gaze, briefly, face turning red before he tears his eyes away. It’s amusing. He may as well have thrown himself at my feet and begged for this not ten minutes past, but he’s shy and nervous now.
I don’t need to give him any hints about what’s coming, but of course I can’t help it. I never can.
The stubble on my cheek grazes his own as I lean in to whisper. “You’ve got something to prove to me tonight, Major Alenko. Up for it?”
A small whimper escapes him. It’s so unbelievably hot that I can force that noise out of him so easily, in a public (well okay, semi-public) setting no less.
“Thought so.” I press a kiss to his temple, ruffling up his hair affectionately, and pull back.
Yep, it’s gonna be a fun night.