Chapter Text
► Mark added Doyoung, Taeyong, Taeil, Johnny, Ten, Hansol, Yuta, and Jaehyun to group chat
► Mark changed group chat to hELP
MARKKURI | Me :
gUYS
i need sum advice
MOM | Doyoung :
my son
what is wrong
BRO | Johnny :
use protection
MOM | Doyoung :
YOUNGHO PLS
ELEVEN | Ten :
n lube
BRO | Johnny :
ah ye
tht 2
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
johnny, ten is2g
CHEERLEADER | Taeil :
guys, hes like 5
MAKKURI | Me :
18 in Aug thx tail
anywho
my partner is rlly cute n i dont know wht to do
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
excuse me
u dont even call me cute
ELEVEN | Ten :
pay up bitches
fucking knew it was about haechan
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
the hell lee
i thought i was ur soulmate
MOM | Doyoung :
lEE MINHYUNG
MAKKURI | Me :
mum pls
i didnt tell u because i knew ud freakout
MOM | Doyoung :
PROBABLY BEcauSE MARK LEE FINALLY SHOWS INTEREST IN SOMETHING other than MEMES
MAKKURI | Me :
i have plenty of interests
HANSOLO | Hansol :
other than food
UTAH | Yuta :
other than...
nah
that's about it
MAKKURI | Me :
fuck u guys
"Masato-San, I hope you're having a good time chatting as Heisuke-San does all the work that the two of you should be doing," their Japanese teacher announces, a hand stretched out on Mark's desk.
The young adult mummers a sorry and turns his body to face his partner Heisuke or Haechan, a nickname given to him by his classmates, and also apologizes to the tanned boy who only shrugs.
‘What a beauty’ Mark ponders with a dumb smile, earning a concerned look from Donghyuck.
‘What the fuck is wrong with this guy…’ Donghyuck thinks as the blond boy next to him giggles and shuffles closer to the redhead. ‘Maybe he’s high…’
The two were supposed to be reviewing some hiragana spelling of some of the objects around them, the two stay silent and would sloppily note down some items. Mark was never really sure how the fuck Yuta became bilingual as quickly as he did in this course because, frankly speaking, it was slow as fuck.
“Mark?”
Mark quickly looked up from spelling こくばん or 黒板 characters that for what he hopes spells blackboard. “Yes?”
“Since we’re partners on this project, would you like to take time to find some shit for it?” Donghyuck asks as he corrects Mark’s spelling on one of the hiragana characters.
‘Oh fuck, this is happening… okay! Mark, we can do this! Wecandothiswecandothiswecan’ Marks scrunches up his face, ‘Oh shit, he’s looking- what would Jaehyun do?’ the Canadian makes another face ‘Wait! No, don’t follow in Jaehyun’s steps, we can’t boast his ego. What would Taeil do?’
Donghyuck sits there just staring at Mark blankly, ‘Does he not understand what I’m saying? Shit, I should’ve known- the guy didn’t even freaking know that a mosquito coil was,’
Donghyuck is soon interrupted by his thoughts, “Yes!” Mark answers him in english and Donghyuck slowly nods.
“Give me your contact info,” the younger of the two boldly demands as he gestures to his own device.
Mark flushes, “S-Sure!” he stumbles to look through his bomber jacket’s pockets, he only finds a flaky wallet, a set of keys, Hansol’s weird ass gum, and a folded up paper of Yuta’s drawing of bishounens.
The blonde starts to panic, ‘I could’ve sworn that I had it with me just a second ago! What if someone figures out my password is 1-1-1-1? What if they look through my posts? I should’ve known being a meme lord would come bite me in the ass!’ Mark gasps ‘What if they fucking look through my history? I FUCKING KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE LINKED MY GOOGLE ACCOUNT ON MY PHONE,’
The sound of a clearing throat is heard and Mark whips his head towards Donghyuck who looks very unimpressed by his actions.
“Your phone is in front of you, fam,” the redhead motions towards the teenager’s cracked iPhone. Mark puts a hand over his heart, “Thank fuck.”
‘I’m such a loser’ Mark groans inside his head.
‘He’s acting like a lost puppy, kind of cute,” Donghyuck thinks as he starts to type in his information on Mark’s phone, ‘Reminds me of when I first Renjun and Sicheng!’
The mischievous teen smiles widely as he hands Mark his possession.
‘Shit.’
► You have 208 new unread messages from hELP
Mark squints, he has legitimately only been gone for 10 minutes.
Class is over but he stays in the lobby to see Donghyuck talk to a tall handsome boy who seems to be handing him a treat. Mark’s stomach tightens.
Donghyuck makes an excited squeal and it makes Mark’s heart melt.
He sees the redhead and the tall boy wait in front of the Korean course room, after a few more people gather, they all start to walk out of the building.
MAKKURI | Me :
GUYs
hes so cute
i want 2 die
ELEVEN | Ten :
how cute???
BRO | Johnny :
hes jail bait n ur taken
ELEVEN | Ten :
rite
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
ask him out
HANSOLO | Hansol :
be realistic jae
MAKKURI | Me :
hey!
i can if i want to!
CHEERLEADER | Taeil:
do it
HANSOLO | Hansol :
doooooo itttttttttt
UTAH | Yuta :
fuckin do it
Pussy
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
stop being a little shit yuta
CHEERLEADER | Taeil :
little? what an understatement
UTAH | Yuta :
FIGHT ME MIDGET
CHEERLEADER | Taeil :
you don't have the balls to challenge me
puta
UTAH | Yuta :
i fucking hate this family
MAKKURI | Me :
mum
MOM | Doyoung :
mark...
MAKKURI | Me :
how dare u
i hate this family too
Soon enough, Mark is driving himself home and sings along the road, Teenage Dirtbag, what a classic. He's still singing as he enters his household and encounters his younger brother's judgmental stares.
"Fuck off Jisung,"
"Go to hell Minhyung!"
Mark rolls his eyes at the 15 year old, makes his way towards the ice cream and sits on his comfortable couch to binge watch his shows. Two hours and a half in, Mark is accompanied by a plate of cold fries, a stuffed animal, a box of tissues, and the rest of his half melted vanilla ice cream.
'Fuck, Jinu, whyyyy'
The doorbell rings and Mark's ears perk up but Jisung seems to be quiet enthusiastic by the sound and rushes his way down the stairs.
The younger sibling pulls the door open and Mark has a heart attack, not that he knows what it feels like to have one but he's pretty sure he's having one, right now.
Chenle was there which means it's no surprise to see Renjun but what really throws Mark off it the other four other guys that seem to be around his age.
"Oh, hey Mark!" an angel greets him and Mark giggles stupidly.
"Oh, hey chan," Mark jokes and everybody turns to stare at him. Even Renjun, an actual saint, doesn't respond to the awful pun.
'Did I just-'
Jisung looks and his friends and quickly glances at Mark, "This is why I always ask to go to your house, Chenle."
► You have 2,491 new unread messages from hELP
MAKKURI | Me :
tell jisung hes my least favorite bro
Also
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
he’s your only brother
MAKKURI | Me :
tell donghyuck what i felt was real
oh and that i’m sorry and i love him
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
what the hell happened
BRO | Johnny :
what did u do now
MAKKURI | Me :
it doesn’t matter
CHEERLEADER | Taeil :
he probably did something dumb
ELEVEN | Ten :
i go back to work for onc and i have 1,850 notifs?
wtf???
how is this alive
MOM | Doyoung :
tbh
im not rlly sure but mark
my baby
speak to me
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
im right here??
MOM | Doyoung :
shutup yoonoh
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
he’s your bf?
MOM | Doyoung :
but minhyung is my baby?
I dont see the prob here??
HANSOLO | Hansol :
whut is thisshitfest
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
I wonder that too
MAKKURI | Me :
I’M DYING AND I’M GIFTING ALL OF YOU THINGS, OKAY
BRO | Johnny :
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
UTAH | Yuta :
oH
what do i get
MAKKURI | Me :
nothing
u were my least fav
UTAH | Yuta :
fucker
MAKKURI | Me :
at least hansol can stand being near me
ELEVEN | Ten :
pew pew
HANSOLO | Hansol :
itai
UTAH | Yuta :
Y do i love u
HANSOLO | Hansol :
because im good in bed
UTAH | Yuta :
tru
MOM | Doyoung :
God
ELEVEN | Ten :
yes?
MOM | Doyoung :
/SCREAMS
BRO | Johnny :
what do i get???? C:
MAKKURI | Me :
my mixtapes and my shame of having all those goddamn SPN dvds + the actual dvds
BRO | Johnny :
bro
SPN is my shit
MAKKURI | Me :
Shame
also TENneth
I gift u not only one kuro hq figurine but 2!!!
ELEVEN | Ten :
i cry
wgat an angel
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
why
MAKKURI | Me :
Dont be jealous
U get my lyric books & jisung
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
sweet
as much as i love your brother
pretty sure he’d still be your mom’s
MAKKURI | Me :
but doyoung cant take care of him becuz hed be crying too much and jae has to take care of him becuz he becomes a rek
Obviously
TAEBREEZE | Taeyong :
What
MAKKURI | Me :
JAEHYUN
U get DY, my mother
cherish him or i dragu to hell
UTAH | Yuta :
I mean
He was porbably alredy goin there
HANSOLO | Hansol :
itai
YOONOH | Jaehyun :
Yeah
Ok
MAKKURI | Me :
handsoap: u get my yoyo collection
tail: u get the new earbuds i bought
they r unopened + a blanket
CHEERLEADER | Taeil :
Wow
What a gentleman
MAKKURI | Me :
i kno
mOVING ON
give donghyuck snoopy and my ice cream money
ELEVEN | Ten :
/gasp
BRO | Johnny:
/gasps
MAKKURI | Me :
and tell him that he owes me a fucking date when he dies
gud bye :<
► Mark left hELP
► Taeyong added Mark
UTAH | Yuta :
bitch
u thought