Chapter Text
Taehyung: soulmate #1
Jungkook: golden boy
Jimin: soulmate #2
Yoongi: eat sleep repeat
Hoseok: the only hope
Jin: mom of the year
Namjoon: daddy long legs
The Magnificent 7 Idiots
soulmate #1: who misses me
soulmate #1: which one of you fuckers left me on read
soulmate #1: its been 10 minutes i honestly feel heartbroken nobody misses me
soulmate #2: I MISS YOU TAE SORRY I WAS PRACTICING
soulmate #1: MY SOULMATE I MISS YOU TOO FUJK
the only hope: yoons and i miss you too taebae
soulmate #1: i miss you guys too but why didn't yoongi hyung text it himself
daddy long legs: he, along with jin, had too much to drink last night and they both passed out in hoseoks bed and almost 12 hours later neither have woken up or moved
daddy long legs: miss you tho tae when are you coming back
soulmate #1: oh mygod rip yoongi hyung and jin hyung they had a good life
soulmate #1: i come back tmr i just wanted to make sure you all missed me terribly
soulmate #1: i got a tan you'll all be pleased to hear
golden boy: pics or it didn't happen
soulmate #2: isn't it funny how kookie speaks up now when we're talking about tae :))
soulmate #1: jimin sweetie stfu :))))
soulmate #1: but here ya go kook
soulmate #1:
mom of the year: LOOK AT MY GORGEOUS TANNED SON WOW
the only hope: how are you awake wtf
mom of the year: i wake up for the good shit obviously hoseok jesus
mom of the year: let me love my son in peace
soulmate #1: thanks mom <333
mom of the year: anytime honey but momma's gotta go rest the killer headache that's about to hit
mom of the year: also, hoseok id change your sheets when you get home after showing the freshmans around uni, yoongi woke up and threw up everywhere
golden boy: so that's why you showed up in the chat not to see taes selfie
golden boy: which looks great btw hyung you look good with the tan!
soulmate #2: WOW ARE MY EYES REALLY WITNESSING THIS
soulmate #2: i love taekook
mom of the year: you're not the only one
soulmate #1: jimin, my sweet beloved soulmate, light of my life, if you don't stop this right now i stg wait till i come back tmr :))))))
soulmate #1: thanks tho kookie i appreciate it a lot (((':
soulmate #2: coughsTAEKOOKcoughs
soulmate #1: JIMIN
the only hope: ok but does nobody care that yoons literally puked on my bed
eat sleep repeat: ill buy you new sheets don't worry
eat sleep repeat: also whens the taekook ship gonna officially sail cause im ready to tag along on the honeymoon
soulmate #2: ahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA
soulmate #1 has left the chat
The Magnificent 7 Idiots
daddy long legs added soulmate #1 to the chat
daddy long legs made soulmate #1 an admin
soulmate #1: fuk namjoonie hyung have i ever said how much i love you
soulmate #1: you always look out for me
soulmate #1: i feel so lobed rn i could alskodt crylu
the only hope: is taehyung ok he usually isn't this loving to anybody but jimin
soulmate #2: and jungkook
soulmate #2: but yeah he's fine we were facetiming earlier and he's just missing us a lot and is already stressed for missing the first two days of this semester
eat sleep repeat: still doesn't explain why hes typing like that
soulmate #2: well i told him not to worry about it and to have a drink or two and apparently he had more than two
mom of the year: aw tae honey don't stress, your parents and you are having a wonderful vacation together so don't worry about school we'll all get through it together <3
soulmate #1: FUCK JIN HYUNNF I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ABD EVERYBODY ELSD I LOVWS YOU TOO
golden boy: we love you too hyung go to bed and rest
golden boy: text me when you arrive tmr ill come to the airport to pick you up
soulmate #1: ok kookie ;)
soulmate #2: did tae just wink at jungkook woWOWOW
golden boy: he's drunk jimin don't make fun of him
golden boy: it was probably meant to be a smiley
soulmate #2: [screenshot captured]
golden boy: srsly
soulmate #2: yes srsly it still happened and ill be damned if i don't have proof
the only hope: jiminie send that screenshot to me i want to add it into my taekook folder
mom of the year: me too i want to add it to my receipts of this chat
soulmate #2: i got you guys dont worry
daddy long legs: you all are terrible
mom of the year: dont act innocent namjoon im onto you
daddy long legs: wtf hyung
eat sleep repeat: i showed jin your search history on your laptop last week
daddy long legs: you what
soulmate #2: whats happening oh my god
the only hope: SPILL THE TEA YOONGI
eat sleep repeat: last week, when students were still moving back to the dorms and namjoon was staying with hoseok and i while jin hyung was still at home
eat sleep repeat: well i woke up in the middle of the night and walked into the living room and namjoons asleep on the couch with his laptop and headphones sitting on his lap
eat sleep repeat: and the laptop was open
eat sleep repeat: and me being the nosy bitch i am, i looked at what he'd been doing
eat sleep repeat: and oh boy
the only hope: FUCK YOONS WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW
eat sleep repeat: namjoonie here was looking on some... interesting sites
golden boy: porn sites
soulmate #2: you come back at the strangest times kook
daddy long legs: guys lets not do this pls
eat sleep repeat: namjoon here was looking up 'daddy treats his baby boy after a long day'
eat sleep repeat: so i took a picture of it and sent it to jin
mom of the year: why do you guys think i came back to the dorms two days early
soulmate #2: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
soulmate #2: NAMJOON HYUNG
golden boy: IM FUCKING SCREAMING
the only hope: DADDY KINK DADDY KINK DADDY KINK
daddy long legs: i truly hate you all
The Magnificent 7 Idiots
soulmate #1: i just landed kookie where are you my bags are heavy af
soulmate #1: oh wrong chat
soulmate #1: wait
soulmate #1: NAMJOON
soulmate #1: oh myofos im yrlling in the airport
soulmate #1: shit hyung i didn't think you had it in you to have a kink like that
soulmate #1: i knew i gave you the best name in the chat hyung
soulmate #1 renamed the chat 'the exposure of namjoon'
daddy long legs: taehyung please