Chapter Text
Ophelia was woken abruptly by banging on her front door. She stumbled out of bed and crossed the room to unlock it. The banging continued.
"One second!" Ophelia called, pulling off the chain and opening the door. Jules was on the other side, looking panicked, her eyes searching the apartment behind Ophelia.
"It's really early, Jules..." Ophelia mumbled, rubbing her eye.
"It's 10am." Jules pushed past Ophelia and made a beeline for the coffee table. She sifted through a bunch of papers and wrappers that they'd left there during their study session the night before.
Ophelia shut the door and padded over to the table. "What is happening?"
Jules ignored her and moved on to Ophelia's desk, shifting her possessions around.
Ophelia took Jules's arm gently and pulled her around to face her. Jules's head still turned, looking around the room, searching the floor.
Ophelia waved a hand in front of her face. "Jules, Jules, Jules!"
Jules stopped moving and looked at Ophelia.
"What are you looking for?"
Jules swallowed and looked around again. "My journal, I can't find it anywhere! I thought maybe I left it here last night ... I don't know. Have you seen it?"
Ophelia scratched her head and looked around. "Uh ... I don't know, what does it look like?"
"It's brown, like um, like cardboard, with pink stripes."
"Well, anything pink in here will definitely stand out as yours ..." Ophelia clicked her tongue as she scanned the room. "Are you sure you left it here? When did you last see it?"
Jules stared at her with wide eyes. "Ophelia, if I knew that I wouldn't be looking for it!"
Ophelia turned away to check the kitchen. "Okay, okay. Do you remember the last time you wrote in it?"
"I don't know ... yesterday morning?"
"At home?" Ophelia asked, peering over the counter.
There was no response. Ophelia looked around and found Jules staring at the wall with a stunned expression on her face.
"Jules?"
"No," Jules whispered.
Ophelia walked back over to her. "What? What is it?"
"I wrote in it yesterday ... in the library," Jules said as she ran a hand down her face. "This is bad."
"What do you write in your journal? Like, are we talking crappy poetry here or something more serious?"
"Just ... personal stuff. Everything from the past year." Jules clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides.
"God, okay." Ophelia ran a hand through her hair. "Stuff about us?"
Jules looked up at her. "Huh?"
"Stuff about how we beat people up? The guy we killed? Jules!"
"Um, I don't know. Maybe? From way back! Before you got involved. Nothing specific, I don't think ..." Jules was now rubbing her temples and taking deep breaths.
Ophelia sprung into action and went to find some clothes. "Keep searching the apartment while I get dressed and we'll go down to the library and look for it."
Jules nodded and turned around to keep looking.
********
Jules tapped her fingers against the dashboard while Ophelia parked.
"Don't worry," Ophelia said as they got out of the car. "We'll find it."
"I'm just worried about who'll read it before we do," replied Jules.
Once inside the library, Ophelia pushed Jules towards the study spaces. "Go look where you were sitting, I'll check lost and found."
Jules got three steps away before she ran back and pulled on Ophelia's sleeve.
"O, if you find it, don't read it, okay?"
Ophelia scoffed and smiled at her. "Obviously. I care deeply about your privacy."
"Considering our history, that's not reassuring," Jules said worriedly.
"Don't worry, Jules. I won't read it," Ophelia said, locking eyes with her.
Jules nodded. "Okay. Thanks."
Jules turned and ran off into the library, leaving Ophelia confused over why she was so concerned that she would read her journal. She wouldn't of course but ... there was nothing in there that she didn't already know, right?
Jules paced through a cluster of empty desks. She couldn't even remember which one she sat at, she was so frazzled. Besides the final essay on her laptop screen, all her memories from yesterday morning were a blur.
She got down on her hands and knees and searched the floor.
There were so many secrets in that journal. Everything since before Jules met Ophelia was documented in there. Everything to do with her assault, plans for vigilante justice, details on her targets, pages about Carter especially were on her mind. Yes, it was vague, but anyone with a clue could put the pieces together.
Then all the stuff from her breakdown after her fight with Kennedy. There was some really dark stuff there, thoughts that scared Jules when she wrote them and now in retrospect were absolutely terrifying.
And the more recent entries, in which Ophelia featured heavily. Jules's heart pounded at the idea of Ophelia ever reading them.
Succumbing to the fact that the floor was completely clear, Jules sat up on her knees and put her head in her hands. After a minute she dropped her hands and found a pair of boots on the floor in front of her.
"Panic over! This is it, right?" Ophelia said holding out a wire bound book that was indeed Jules's journal, wrapped and sealed in an elastic band.
Jules let out a sigh of relief. "Yes!"
Ophelia took her hand and helped her off the floor, handing her the journal.
Jules hugged it tightly to her chest and held it out again. "Why is there a rubber band on it?"
Ophelia shrugged. "Someone must have realised it was private. I asked at the desk, it wasn't them."
"Oh ..." Jules said. Her eyebrows furrowed.
"Don't worry about it, I'm sure if the police were looking for you we'd know by now."
Ophelia looped her arm through Jules's elbow and steered her towards the door.
Jules kept staring at her journal. "Yeah. I guess."
"The important thing is you got it back, right?"
Jules shrugged and relaxed a little. "Yeah, you're right."
Back in the car, Jules removed the elastic band and flipped through the journal, making sure the pages were all still there. Everything appeared untouched. She skipped to the last page that she wrote in.
I can't be around O without thinking about how much I want to kiss her. I keep catching myself staring at her lips. It's getting ridiculous but I can't tell her all this without knowing everything will be okay if I do.
Jules shook her head and shut the journal. A yellow post-it fell out of the cover and landed on Jules's knee. It wasn't hers, she bought a huge value pack of pink post-its in sophomore year and they were all she used.
Jules turned it over to see a messy scrawl. It was barely readable but she worked it out.
I'm REALLY sorry I read your diary. I'm gonna put a rubber band around it to deter others before I hand it in to the desk. If it helps I only read the last page and if you're looking for a sign to go for it with O, here it is. Do it! Good luck!
Jules stared at the note in her hand for a few moments, feeling weirdly elated and at the same time nervous that a stranger had opened her journal at all.
"What's that?" came Ophelia's voice from the drivers seat.
Jules quickly tucked the note into her journal. "Nothing. Just an old note-to-self."
She reached out and touched Ophelia's shoulder. "Thank you."
"No problem," Ophelia replied. "Can't have your secrets getting out, can we?" She smirked and winked at Jules.
Jules smiled back at her. As Ophelia turned her head back to face the road, Jules's eyes fell on her lips.