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Asajj tried to ignore the pitiful whimpers and stifled groans of pain. She really did. But with only bad memories and visions of blood and fire and screams waiting for her in the darkness behind her eyelids and the emptiness of space out the viewport she had little else to focus on.
Kenobi had taken quite a beating before she had shown up and rescued him, a curious act that she still found herself pondering. Bruises had started to form on his face, a fact that irritated her beyond reason (if anyone had the right to damage him like that it was HER, not Opress and his monstrosity of a sibling), and she was sure more than a few of his ribs had been fractured in the fight. They hadn't spoken a word since he'd released the escape pod from the monsters' ship and the silence had started to become oppressive.
Now Kenobi was in the aft compartment attempting to treat his wounds with what minimal supplies were stored there. Apparently he wasn't faring too well given the sounds making their way to the cockpit. A few more minutes and she couldn't take it anymore.
Asajj released an audible huff and her brow furrowed in annoyance. With the pod set on autopilot for the time being, she made her way to her unexpected companion...and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her.
He sat with his back to her, and with his tunic off she could see every laceration that had ever been carved into his skin. Old scars, pale and smooth with age, littered his flesh, but the ones that offended her most were the recent ones he'd sustained from Maul and Savage. Long scratches from metal talons and razor-sharp claws only looked slightly less worse than they really were because of the darkening bruises that peppered his back. He could only reach the top of one shoulder with the bacta he now held in one hand but was stubbornly trying to reach the rest of his wounds.
The agonized groan that came from his mouth when he attempted to twist to his left was the last straw.
Asajj strode forward on silent feet and none-too-gently took the bacta from his hand. He looked up at her with a startled expression but didn't stop her. She remained standing behind him as she covered the worst of the blasphemous injuries with the cool gel. Never in her life did she imagine she would be tending to a Jedi, let alone this one. How the wretched have fallen, she thought to herself.
She tried to rationalize her actions and thoughts as her fingers tenderly probed and smoothed over his torn flesh. This wasn't concern. This wasn't because she cared. This was because only she was allowed to draw his blood, to bruise his body. Whatever grudge Maul had had against him was irrelevant to her. She was the only one allowed to break him. It was the least she deserved after everything he'd put her through.
When she had finished with the bacta, Asajj carefully moved one hand around to his chest to feel for what damage had been done to his ribs. Sure enough, she felt at least two fractures. She let out a breath through her nose and drew on the Force to try to mend them as best she could until he could get proper medical care. She was so focused on knitting the bone back together and coaxing the swelling to go down that she didn't hear his barely audible sigh of contentment.
But she did feel it when he took hold of her hand when the worst damage had been fixed. She did feel it when he raised that hand that had been healing instead of harming away from his side. And she certainly felt it when he pressed his lips, half-dry and cracked as they were, into the back of it. She was so startled by the gesture that she couldn't move; she didn't dare to. Something had sparked deep in her gut the moment his lips touched her skin. She didn't dare give that spark a name. What was this trick he was playing?
Asajj didn't acknowledge the fact that her free hand trembled slightly when she touched her fingers to his bearded chin and turned him to face her. Whatever she had been about to say died in her throat at the look in his eyes. The spark that she felt spreading through her chest was reflected in those clear blue eyes. She couldn't deny that there had always been some kind of attraction between them, some kind of magnetic pull that initiated their intimate banter and prompted them to always let the other get away from a fight. But was that what this was now, that attraction making its way to the surface in the face of the silence of space and the relief of finding themselves alive after the brutal confrontation with Maul and Savage?
Before her rational mind could resume control, Asajj found herself leaning down towards the man who had once been her most bitter enemy. He didn't move, didn't raise a hand to stop her descent. A sudden wave of apprehension made her hesitate for a moment, but the warmth of his breath on her face urged her on.
The barest touch of her lips to his nearly made her lungs seize and her heart stop. She'd kissed men before, but this one was in a league all its own. His lips were warm against hers and though the kiss was short and chaste, it was filled with something she didn't know she'd craved: comfort.
She pulled back before her lips could turn traitor and persuade his to play a more dangerous game. She kept her eyes on the floor when she released his chin. She didn't want to see the disgust in his eyes. It had been a spur-of-the-moment urge, one that she would never have acted on if she'd given herself a moment more to consider the consequences. And now it was over. They could continue this trip to stars-knew-where in silence and pretend it had never happened.
At least they could have if Obi-Wan hadn't kept a tight hold of her hand when she tried to turn and leave.
She chanced a look back as he carefully stood, her expression schooled into a mask of blankness that she hoped would disguise whatever emotions that were flooding through her. The touch of his hand on her jaw was the only warning she had before he took her lips between his with a deep sigh. Her eyes went wide in shock before the pleasure took over and made them flutter closed. This time the contact was less innocent but no less tender.
Obi-Wan moved slowly as if not to spook her. His caution had an entirely opposite outcome, however: it encouraged her to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him in place. A brief whimper escaped her throat when his other arm circled around her waist and pulled her completely against him. Either she was freezing or he was burning, she thought. His heat seeped through her clothes to her skin and made it tingle. Was he doing that on purpose? Could body heat even be transferred through the Force? More importantly, did it even matter right now?
He pulled back first, slowly, achingly. His lower lip stuck slightly to hers in such a way that made it seem as if they were lightly fused together. Asajj wanted to follow, wanted to chase down his warmth and devour it. Screw it. She surged forward and captured his mouth again, this time darting the tip of her tongue between his lips. She swallowed his grunt of pain when she inadvertently pressed into a tender spot on the side of his ribs she hadn't healed. He didn't seem to mind too much, though.
Both of his arms went around her, one hand sliding up her back, and he stepped back toward a bench situated in a recessed section of wall. As if she weren't shocked enough by the sudden turn of events, he sat down on the bench and drew her into his lap so that her knees were on either side of his hips. All without taking his mouth from hers. In fact, he seemed loath to part from her at all.
Her fingers found their way into his hair and scraped against his scalp, eliciting a sound from him that sounded suspiciously like a cross between a growl and a purr. That sound made the spark that had ignited at the first contact of his lips to her skin burst into a steady burn that started deep in her gut and migrated to the places where their bodies touched. She wondered if he felt it, too.
The way he chased her tongue with his when she teasingly pulled back was answer enough. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once: on the back of her head, under the curve of her jaw to tilt her head to better angles, in the dip of her lower back, on the point of her hip. His touch was killing her. The feel of his hot skin under her palms threatened to undo her. The absent thought that this wouldn't be such a bad way to die crossed her mind before one of his hands tentatively found its way under both her tunic and shirt.
Asajj was never one to stay idle, nor let someone else decide the pace of seduction (the fact that the times before now were never about pleasure and all about business was irrelevant). So when his fingers crept up her side she hurriedly peeled off her belt and tunic and pulled her shirt over her head. The movement forced her to separate from his mouth, that mouth that she was quickly learning could be quite sinful when it wanted to be.
She tried to memorize the quickened pace of his breath as he looked at her, his eyes trailing down the expanse of her pale skin with something that resembled unabashed desire. The fingers of his right hand followed his gaze over her collarbone, down her sternum, and finally (FINALLY) over one of her suddenly sensitive breasts. She gasped at the contact and tightened her grip on the back of his neck to try to ground herself from the pleasure. That gasp became a full-blown moan when his mouth lighted on the same breast he'd caressed moments ago. He seemed encouraged by her reaction and pulled her closer while his lips and tongue tormented her nipple into a hardened peak.
Asajj wondered if the Jedi rule of repression was why Obi-Wan was so eager to take initiative; how long had he imagined touching someone like this with no fulfillment? Not that she much cared at the moment how and why he was so good at making her feel this way. All that mattered was that he was.
He'd worked his way up to the thin skin of her throat when she couldn't stand it anymore. The combined sensation of his hot mouth claiming her flesh and the growing hardness beneath her thigh was too much. She removed herself from his lap for an instant (though it might as well have been an eternity) to shed the rest of her clothes as quickly as physically possible. He took her lead with only the slightest hesitation, kicking off his boots and began to push his pants down his legs. He groaned in sudden pain before the fabric made it to his shins. One hand clutched at his side where at least one other rib was fractured.
Asajj went to him immediately. Not out of concern for his well-being. Definitely not for that. Regardless, she replaced his hand with hers and reached again into the Force. This one was worse than the other two; how he'd managed to conceal his pain this long she could only guess. Several silent moments, punctuated by their rapid breathing, passed while she focused on mending the bone and repairing the damaged blood vessels.
When it was done, she heard him let out a shaky breath. “Thank y-”
She covered his mouth with her fingers before he could finish the word. She locked her eyes on his and shook her head. The gesture spoke as loudly as if she'd said it aloud: no words. Words only complicated everything. Even something as innocuous as a 'thank you' would ruin the illusion they'd unintentionally created. She knew this wasn't love in the least, wasn't even a true relationship to speak of. But for just a moment she could pretend it could be.
Obi-Wan understood her desire for silence; it was as plain as daylight in his eyes. But there was something else in those cerulean depths, something she refused to identify. If she didn't know him any better, she would have sworn it was something akin to hurt.
She shut out that impossible notion by taking his lips in hers once again. He pulled her back into his lap as he returned the kiss with equal fervor. He kept her hips pressed tightly against him as he moved back slightly. She heard his muffled moan when his raw back touched the cold steel wall, but he didn't relinquish his hold on her. She couldn't help but be a tiny bit proud of herself for instilling such emotion in him that he would forgo physical comfort in favor of continuing their illicit caresses.
Asajj let one hand stroke down the line of his jaw before moving further down to his shoulder, over his chest, and still further down past his abdomen. She drank in his startled gasp when he realized what she was planning. But just before she reached her target she withdrew her hand and raised herself to her full height on her knees.
Obi-Wan pulled away from her lips at the change in position. He stared into her eyes as he tried to regain his breath. She wondered what he was thinking at that very moment. 'Dear Force, don't stop'? 'What am I doing'? 'This is wrong'? 'This is right'? The sound of his gulp chased all thought from her head. He wanted this as badly as she did, if not worse. There was no mistaking that look in his eyes.
As slowly and carefully as she could stand it, Asajj lowered herself onto him, her breath hitching at the first touch of his flesh to hers, then abandoning her completely the deeper she took him. Colors danced behind her closed eyelids when she was once more flush to his body. She felt his breath invade her mouth, his lips only just barely touching hers. All at once she felt as if she would burst into flames, drown, and suffocate. Never had she felt so utterly complete.
Obi-Wan recovered first, the touch of his trembling hand on her cheek bringing her back to the present. He claimed her lips before she could move. Once more she was surprised by the tenderness with which he treated her. Her surprise lasted only as long as it took him to grip the curve of her backside. She knew a signal to move when she felt it. And she wholeheartedly obeyed.
She kept a tight hold of his hair and forearm as she lifted herself from him, then descended again. Up and down, empty and filled, cold and hot. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered her knees beginning to ache, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the fire consuming her from the inside out, the gentleness of his strength as he held her to him, the slickness of the sweat that covered them both, and the unmistakable sounds of passion that rose from deep in his chest to disappear into her own greedy mouth.
A brief moment of clarity cut through the haze that had settled on Asajj's mind. Instead of using it to linger on doubt and fear of what would come after this encounter ended, she decided to see if she could coax any other exquisite sounds from him. Without breaking stride, she leaned back ever so slightly so that only the very tip of her tongue remained between his lips. The result was better than she expected.
A helpless whine tore from his throat as he tried to follow her. His grip on her yielding body tightened. Even his Force signature pulsed in protest and tried to wrap around hers. She pulled back again, cruelly teasing him. She finally had the great Obi-Wan Kenobi at her mercy. If her body wasn't so intent on reaching its explosive destination she would have laughed in triumph.
As it was, she couldn't continue indefinitely. Her body was wound tight and ready to release. She surged forward to mold her chest to his, his breath echoing in her ear as his arms wrapped tightly around her. She couldn't find her voice even if she wanted to speak. Instead she tried channeling a single thought the Force and hoped he would hear it: fall with me.
Whether he heard her or not, she didn't know. But it didn't really matter in the end. Because when her body, mind, and spirit flew apart in the wake of a blazing inferno that wrenched a long startled moan from her, Obi-Wan joined her. His arms tightened around her, shaking with the violent intensity of his own release, a primal, strangled sound ripped through his chest, and his skin seemed to burn against hers.
The following moments were nothing but a blur of sound and bursting color behind closed eyes. The next thing Asajj knew she was desperately trying to fill her lungs with air and struggling to remain upright. She felt herself start to sway, then pitch forward. A pained hiss cut through the air. If she'd had the breath she would have started laughing: Obi-Wan had collapsed against the wall, temporarily forgetting his injuries until the raw skin hit the cold steel.
Asajj concentrated first on calming her breathing, the soothing strokes of his hands on her back and up her sides simultaneously helping and hindering. Once that was accomplished, she listened to him trying to do the same. He swallowed a few times, presumably to wet his dry throat. The action was simple and unimpressive on its own, but it gave her ego a pleasant boost to know that she'd caused the need for it in the first place.
She raised her head, which felt ten times heavier than normal, and gazed down at him. His eyes were half closed, still smoldering with desire, his mouth was open, and his skin had a reddish tint. He looked positively breathtaking. He drew in a breath deeper than the rest, but Asajj stopped him with a gentle, heated kiss. No words. No false promises, no saccharine assurances, no lies. She felt him give a tiny sigh into her mouth just before she pulled away. Whether it was from frustration or something else she couldn't say.
It took more willpower than she wanted to admit to sever their intimate connection. She was pleased to see that he twitched as she did so; not a sudden jump or an exaggerated flinch, but a subtle, barely noticeable twitch. It was enough to prove to her that he wasn't as averse to physical affection as he wanted to pretend. Well, that and the entire encounter, but still. She braced herself to leave his warmth and the protective circle of his arms entirely. His hands on her back stopped her. She looked at him in confusion. He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. Instead he shook his head, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead against hers. Just as she had spoken without words before, so did he now: stay.
Every fiber of her body and mind screamed at her to ignore the silent plea, to pull herself away from the comfort she didn't deserve and rebuild her walls. But the purity and sincerity in his touch, in his Force signature overrode her better judgment. He smiled when she nodded once. She didn't deserve that smile. She didn't deserve any of this. But she was just greedy, selfish, and desperate enough to take it.
Obi-Wan kept one arm around her waist as he reached for his tunic on the floor. He groaned in discomfort as the motion irritated his still-healing wounds, but he pushed on until the fabric was clenched in his hand. Asajj remained still, wondering what exactly he was planning. She had her answer when he pulled her down to lie on the bench beside him and carefully threw the rough cloth over them both. Their lower legs remained exposed, but neither cared. The important thing was that she was once more enveloped in his arms.
She knew he didn't mean it, but there was a clear sense of security that came with his embrace. His heartbeat under her palm was a promise of safety and fondness. After this whole thing was over and they landed on some remote world to go their separate ways, she would remember that she was selfish enough to take everything he offered even if it wasn't genuine, even if she wasn't the slightest bit worthy of it regardless.
Asajj felt his breathing even out and his flesh return to a normal temperature. She chanced a look up at his face and felt her heart lighten at the sight. Although his face still sported discolored patches of bruises, he looked more handsome than she'd ever care to admit. His brow was smooth, his eyes were closed, and his lips were turned up in the smallest of smiles. Contentment radiated from him like a physical thing that poured over her, urging her to join him in that peace and calm.
Instead of peace, it was a wave of awe that washed over the former assassin as she observed him. His presence in the Force was always a beacon of Light even when she had tried pushing him to the edge in the past, but now he seemed to be made of Light itself. Part of her wanted to cower away from it, unworthy of existing in its warmth after all the terrible things she had done. But another part wanted never to leave not only the Light he exuded, but never leave this pod, this room, his arms.
Of course, reality would never let that foolish daydream come to pass. First of all, his Jedi brethren would search the galaxy over for him when he didn't return to their Temple. They would find them, rescue their comrade, and execute her without the slightest hesitation. Secondly, she would go space happy if confined to such a small area for long. Thirdly, he was a staunch Jedi. Even if she did feel something other than simple physical attraction and grudging respect towards him, he would never go back on his archaic and, in her view, pointless vows to the Order he so loved. Especially not for her. And lastly, she and Obi-Wan would end up killing each other in the end. What they had just shared was unexpected yet glorious, but it was a one-time thing. Sex was not the basis for a drastic change in relationship, nor was it enough to sustain either of them emotionally or mentally.
Asajj nearly growled in frustration at the turn her thoughts has taken. She wasn't some lovesick child. This would end as soon as possible.
But for now, she reached up a hand and brushed a wayward piece of soft hair from his face. The movement made his eyes open and his smile widen. Her breath caught in her throat. He took her hand and brought it to his lips for another kiss. He was making a damnable habit of breaking through her defenses with that gallant gesture. She let out a half-hearted huff when he pulled her hand to nuzzle his cheek into her palm. He grinned at her, then laced his fingers with hers and held both their hands against his chest. “Sleep,” he whispered before closing his eyes.
She stared at him for a beat, torn between wanting to smack him for speaking even that one word and wanting to curl into his side for the rest of her life. He trusted her not to kill him in his sleep, not to alter the pod's course from wherever he'd set it. She didn't know how to respond to that kind of trust, especially since their alliance was only recently established and temporary. Once they landed they would go back to their lives and trying to kill each other should they cross paths again. Normalcy between them would resume. Everything would go back to the way it was meant to be.
So why did that make her chest feel so hollow?
A shake of her head put the thoughts out of mind and the vision of Obi-Wan's dozing expression kept them away. She gave his hand a light squeeze as she settled closer against him. Reality be damned for the time being. For now, she just wanted to imagine that she was wanted and safe. And it wasn't so bad if it was in Obi-Wan's arms.