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First time I’ve done this, hello. Nice to meet ya. So, this year has been a bit of a ride. I can’t remember much (I have a horrible memory I’m sorry), but I guess I can do a bit of an overview.
Beginning of the year didn’t bring a lot of things, truthfully. The only really notable thing is that one of my friends is now super mad at me (almost a year later, I still don’t know why) and has been ignoring me since February. Thank you, old friend, for making me question whether or not I actually exist. I really miss you though.
I went to Carnegie hall with my choir back in April (New York I miSS YOU) and it was incredible. I loved every minute of my time there, I got some amazing photos, and I got to spend time with some amazing people. It was honestly the best way to wrap up my freshman year of high school. I’d like to think that for once I felt like a part of the group on that trip. Also I got to see Kinky Boots on Broadway can I get a hELL YEAH.
The summer was… eventful. I was at my lowest point during the summer, borderline suicidal. I actually tried to drown myself roughly 2 times in around July. My friends were in a pretty dark time as well, and it was difficult for us all to get through. I really had to figure out how much I could handle mentally. I felt horrible, honestly.
Sophomore year so far has been… something. I’ve started to gain some confidence back, despite being borderline anorexic the beginning of the school year. I’ve made new friends and strengthened old ones. Actually, a few weeks ago (December 12th), I got my name legally changed! Fucking finally lmao.
Recently, though, something has changed. I’m kind of in the middle of an identity crisis right now, so I’m going through a million different phases right now. Unlike the past, however, I actually have some motivation to change myself for the better. I’ve already started to gain back confidence and slowly heal.
Also, I am insanely in love with someone at the moment, which helps brighten the mood a bit. It’s unrequited, which kind of sucks, but for once, I’m perfectly happy with him just being my muse from afar. I have however gained a bit of confidence in my ability to talk to him, so that’s something. But yeah, he makes me very happy. If I even had the chance to be friends with him, I’d honestly be the happiest person.
So overall, 2017 has been a dumpster fire with some happy moments. Especially if I take the rest of the world into account, and not just my personal experiences. Trump can suck my ass, truthfully. But really, I can’t wait for this year to be over. However, it has had some positives for me I guess. Overall, it’s just been a rollercoaster for my mental health.
Hopefully yours was better than mine! If not, well, I hope 2018 is better. I’d also like to keep my basic human rights this year, but we’ll just have to wait and see.
Love you all, and have an amazing 2018!
Andy xx