Work Text:
The door to Hux’s office opened without so much as a blip from the intercom first.
Hux sighed and doesn’t look up. Kylo. Who else would it be? Probably had some vision he decided Hux needed to know about right away instead of waiting until after work like a normal human being. Hopefully that was all it was. Half listening to his inane visions was so much easier than dealing with the sulking when the knight wanted attention and was made to wait.
Kylo stepped into the room and closed the door. There was a pause, “Hux?”
Well, that was new. The last time Kylo had sounded uncertain addressing him was… probably around when they had first started their relationship? He looked up from his work to see Kylo standing in front of his desk, helmet held in front of his belly like a shield, “Yes?”
“Hux, I was meditating, and…”
Okay, so a vision. Just Ren being dramatic again.
“I am not being dramatic!”
“Ren, what have I told you about reading my mind?”
He waved it off, “That doesn’t matter right now. Mitigating circumstances and all that.”
“Ren- “
“Hux, we can talk about that later. This is more important.”
“More important than trust and setting boundaries in a relationship? My thoughts are my own business. What if I thought huh, it would be kind of sexy if Phasma threw me over her shoulders and you got jealous- “
“You think Phasma is sexy?”
“This is exactly my point, Ren,” he took a deep breath, trying to keep calm, “Just because I think something doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it. It’s called self-control. You should really look into it.”
Kylo huffed and started on something about the Force and his years of training and of course he had self-control because something something Force.
“What was it you came in here to tell me? Before we get even more off track. I do have work to do before the end of the shift.”
“Oh, right. I’m pregnant.”
Hux closed his eyes and counted to ten.
“Hux?”
Nope, needed to count again.
“Hux, what’s wrong? You have to talk to me if you won’t let me read your mind.”
Okay, that should do it. Calm enough to deal with this bantha fodder. Hopefully. For now. Time to open his eyes. “Ren, I know you were raised by mystics, but I never knew your sex education was so bad.”
Kylo glared at him.
“I thought they’d at least discuss it enough to let you know how babies are made, but apparently I was wrong. You need a man and a woman and the woman is the one who carries the young. Well, for humans. And Ren, you are human. The Force doesn’t change that.”
“I know what I felt.”
“And what did you feel?”
“There’s a life force growing inside of me.”
“Probably a parasite. You should go to med bay and get checked out.”
Kylo stomped around the desk, slamming his helmet on the corner. At least it was durasteel and shouldn’t dent from the abuse. He grabbed Hux’s hand and placed it over his belly, which was as flat as normal. Still, he gave it a small squeeze. Ren had such nice abs.
“This is our child, Hux, not a parasite.”
“All I feel are muscles.”
Kylo rolled his eyes but didn’t let go of Hux’s hand, “It’s still early.”
“And you’re delusional. You don’t have a uterus in which to hold a fetus. Or did you think a baby just grew in your belly and somehow didn’t get dissolved by stomach acid?”
“I know how babies are made! Just because I’ve dedicated my life to studying the Force doesn’t mean I didn’t learn about the birds and the bees.”
“And yet you claim to be pregnant despite lacking the proper biology.”
“Darth Vader was conceived through the Force. If a child can be born without a father, why can’t a child be born without a mother?”
Hux pulled his hand away, “I don’t have time for this. It’s a parasite. Report to med bay and have them figure out what kind so you can get rid of it.”
“I’m not getting rid of our baby!” The lights flickered.
“You know what? Fine,” He got up from his chair and grabbed his greatcoat from where it was hanging behind him, “Let’s go. I’m taking you to med bay and I’m going to laugh when they tell you it’s a parasite.”
“For the last time, it’s not a parasite!”
The trip to med bay was tense. Hux clutched a datapad in one hand and marched through the halls with determination. Between that and Ren skulking behind him, any crew they passed made way for them and didn’t stop to bother them. Good. This was already wasting enough time already. At least he should have time to get something done while they ran their tests on Ren.
Once they reached med bay, Hux told the first technician they saw to check Ren for any parasites or other abnormalities. Ren of course insisted that he was pregnant and ignored the technician’s wide-eyed stare. Still, it gave him the better part of an hour to sit in the waiting area and work in peace while Ren was being tested in another room.
He was brought back to matters at hand by a gentle clearing of the throat and a “Sir, I think you’ll want to see this” from the med tech. He finished the paragraph of the report he was reading, flagged where he had left off, and turned off his datapad before following. Stars, he hoped it wasn’t because Ren had something communicable that they thought he needed to be tested for too.
He was lead into an exam room in the back, the door closed behind him. Kylo was laying on the exam table in just his underwear, a small bandage on his belly, and a med droid standing beside him.
“Sir, you may want to have a seat.”
He raised an eyebrow, but sat in the chair indicated beside Kylo.
The med tech instructed the droid to resume scanning Kylo. The scan was shown on a screen on the droid, Kylo’s organs appearing in multicolored images, lungs expanding and contracting, heart beating. Hux wasn’t a trained medical professional, but he assumed that it was all in order.
“As you can see, everything seems to be normal,” the tech pointed out a few different features as the scan went over them, “Until we get to here, that is.”
Low in Kylo’s abdomen was some sort of colorful round blob with another little blob inside of it. It was too low to be the belly, but…
“I told you, Hux.”
“Lord Ren appears to have a, uh… uterus.”
Hux swore.
“He appears to be approximately six weeks pregnant, though we… Well, we’re not sure how it happened. His previous medical records don’t mention anything like this.”
He glared at Kylo, “Ren, you don’t have a vagina. How on Mustafar are you going to give birth to a baby?”
“The Force will guide me.”
“That’s not how pregnancy works!”
The med tech winced, “Sirs, we’ve taken a sample and are going to test to determine if the embryo is human or otherwise and check the health of it.”
“It’s healthy. I can feel it.”
Hux slapped Kylo right in the tit before turning his attention back to the med tech, “Very good. Send the results to me. You’re dismissed.”
Kylo whined about being slapped, and the tech and droid left quickly. The last words that could be heard before the door closed behind them were “Hux, we’re going to be dads!”