Work Text:
Sunlight streamed through the window. Eddie turned his face towards his pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, pretending for a few more moments that he couldn’t hear the alarm ringing from his phone. The last thing that he wanted to do was get out of bed. He was warm and comfortable. But nothing could last forever and he finally had to push up on his elbows with a groan, reaching out to grab his phone. Eddie’s eyes lingered on the nightstand for a few long moments, a smile tugging at his lips when he saw the two empty wine glasses there.
Then he switched off his alarm, slipping out of bed to get ready for the day. It was strange, going about his routine when something was different. Something huge. But he did it anyway, showering and brushing his teeth and dressing in a suit just like he did every other day. Eddie didn’t have a lot of time to waste before he had to be at work. As he made his way out to the kitchen, he gathered the discarded clothing strewn across the floor along the way, tossing it into the laundry room with a warm feeling in his chest.
Everything reminded him of the night before.
The bottle of wine left on the counter, the dishes piled in the sink, the delicious soreness present throughout his body. All that Eddie wanted to do was wait around and see him before he had to go to work but he couldn’t. It would just have to wait. There was already coffee in the maker and Eddie gladly poured some into a thermos, writing a quick note and sticking it to the fridge before grabbing his keys, wallet, and messenger bag to head out the door. Once he made it down the elevator and stepped outside, Eddie took a moment to tilt his head towards the blue sky above him and inhaled the fresh air, closing his eyes.
“You have a good night, Mr. Kaspbrak?”
Eddie turned his head, finding the doorman to the apartment, Jerry, standing there with a smile on his face.
“The best,” he said with a grin.
“I saw your other half come out about an hour ago. He looked pretty cheery himself.”
Eddie flushed just a little bit, nodding his head.
“It’s a good day, Jerry,” he said, stepping up to the curb. “See you later.”
Jerry waved at him just before he turned to hail a cab. The drive from their apartment in Washington Heights took a fair amount of time, considering his office was in Tribeca. Usually he spent the time catching up on work emails or phone calls but instead he found himself watching the passing buildings and people. It wasn’t the first time that Eddie had been overwhelmed with admiration for the city.
It didn’t matter which borough he found himself in, New York City was a place he loved. His home. But there was nothing he loved more than the person who was there with him most of the way. The man who truly made it all worth it. Eddie was lost in thoughts of that man for the rest of the ride, blinking out of his thoughts only when the taxi driver alerted him to the fact that they were there.
“Thank you,” Eddie said, paying quickly and leaving a generous tip before climbing out of the car.
He sipped on his still hot coffee as he walked inside, greeting the familiar faces that he saw and taking the elevator up. He barely stepped off before his assistant greeted him, falling into step with Eddie as they crossed to his office.
“Mr. Kaspbrak,” she said cheekily.
“Cassie,” he sighed, shaking his head.
She grinned at him, shrugging one shoulder. No matter how many times he asked her to just call him by his first name, she insisted on addressing him otherwise. At this point, it was more of a running joke than an actual display of professionalism. As they walked across the open floor full of desks, she began reading his appointments off of her tablet.
“You have a ten o’clock meeting with the rest of senior management as well as the directors of the various locations across the city, who will be patching in through conference call. You have lunch with the coordinator for the company anniversary party that’s happening next month, don’t forget, but as far as I can tell the rest of your afternoon is free. Do you want me to see if now is a good time to meet with the contractor for the facility in Brooklyn?”
“No,” Eddie said, shaking his head.
Cassie looked at him with surprise and he didn’t blame her. For the past two months he’d been fighting tooth and nail to sit down with the contractor and settle the details of the Brooklyn location but today wasn’t the day for it. Before she could ask him why, Eddie reached out with his left hand to open his office door and Cassie gasped, grabbing at his wrist to hold him still.
“Is that what I think it is?” she demanded, holding his hand up closer so she could see the new addition.
Eddie’s chest grew warm as a smile broke out onto his face. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten it was there. There was no chance of ever forgetting. But the reminder made him giddy with joy.
“Yeah,” he said with a nod.
“Oh my God!”
Cassie threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Eddie laughed and embraced her in return, trying to pretend like he wasn’t tempted to shout the good news to the rest of the office.
“I’m so happy for you,” she said, breaking away from him.
“Thank you,” Eddie said quietly, nodding at her as he pushed his door open and stepped inside. “Keep my afternoon clear, yeah?”
Cassie nodded quickly, holding her tablet to her chest as she beamed at him.
“What do you have planned?” she asked, clearly unable to keep her excitement under control.
Eddie knew exactly how she felt, but his own happiness was magnified by the thousands.
“More celebration,” he said, reaching down to play with the new ring on his finger. “It’s not every day you get engaged.”
Eddie wound up on the floor of his bathroom, digging through his cabinet with desperate, shaking hands as his chest grew tighter and tighter. He was barely aware of a warm hand pressing to his back and the distant sound of Richie calling his name. He had an inhaler somewhere in there. It was old and filled with nothing but flavored water but he couldn’t breathe and it was the first thing he thought of. Eddie dug and dug, knocking over bottles of soap and old medicines and cleaners.
“I-I can’t-” he choked out, tears slipping down his cheeks. “-can’t…find…it.”
“What is it?” Richie said, rubbing his hand over the bare skin of Eddie’s back.
“In-inhaler.”
Eddie watched through his blurred vision as Richie nudged him to the side and reached in, his head ducked as his hand searched for the small plastic inhaler. His noise of triumph reached Eddie’s ears just as he straightened up and showed that he was holding it. Eddie reached out for it desperately but Richie didn’t let him take it, cradling the back of his head gently one hand as he guided the inhaler to his mouth. Eddie’s hand gripped Richie’s over the inhaler and he pressed the trigger once, then twice, feeling his lungs slowly relax. Richie didn’t move the whole time, letting Eddie lean into him and watching his face closely as breathing became easier and easier. It wasn’t until Richie began humming that the tension released from Eddie’s shoulders and he let his eyes flutter closed, feeling Richie’s fingers run through his hair.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie said quietly, hating that Richie had to see him like that.
“Shh,” Richie said, refusing to let him move away. “It’s not your fault.”
“Not yours either,” he said, suddenly feeling sluggish.
Eddie really wanted to get off of the bathroom floor but he found himself laying his head against Richie’s shoulder to breathe him in, letting his presence calm his still racing heart.
“I shouldn’t have sprung that on you,” Richie said, sounding upset.
He shook his head, clasping Richie’s hand where it laid over his hip.
“I want to go with you.”
Richie didn’t say anything for a long few moments.
“You don’t have to say that, Eds.”
Eddie lifted his head, meeting Richie’s wary gaze.
“I’m not just saying it, Richie. I mean it,” he argued.
“Then what’s going on?” Richie asked, brushing a thumb over his cheek.
Eddie hesitated, pushing himself to his feet slowly before holding a hand out to help Richie up as well. Once they were back out in the room and situated on the bed again, he crossed his legs beneath him and held both of Richie’s hands in his, looking into his eyes.
“I don’t want to choose,” he admitted.
“Choose?” Richie said, clearly confused as he mimicked Eddie’s position.
Eddie’s eyes flitted to his computer before returning to Richie.
“I’m supposed to be applying for jobs and moving away from Maine,” he admitted.
“I know. Ben said that you were getting out of here,” Richie said, nodding once.
It was hard to figure out the right words to say. More than anything, Eddie wished that he could go back and not panic quite so much at Richie’s proposition.
“I went to school for a reason. I think I can be good at what I plan on doing and even if I didn’t, I have to work, Rich. I have student loans and other debts to pay off,” Eddie admitted, watching Richie closely for a reaction.
It didn’t happen quickly. Richie apparently had a good poker face. But his eyes were filled with uncertainty behind his glasses.
“That’s what you want?” he said.
Eddie didn’t really know what to say to that. Surprisingly enough, he never thought of it like that.
“I don’t think that it matters what I want,” he said quietly.
“It does,” Richie said, scooting closer to him. “If that’s all that’s holding you back, we can figure it out.”
Eddie had the sinking feeling that figuring it out meant letting Richie pay off his loans, which he wasn’t about to do. He didn’t care how many copies of their first album the band sold or how much they made off of downloads, ticket sales, and advertisements. He wasn’t going to sit back and let someone else pay his debts. Not even Richie.
“That’s not… that’s not me,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “Even if I was willing to let that happen, I’m not like you. I can’t imagine traveling the world in a bus. I know that roots are overrated to you but I’ve worked hard to get to a position where I can find a home in a place that I could be happy.”
Richie frowned at him.
“Home doesn’t have to be a place, Eddie.”
“Maybe it does, though,” Eddie argued. “Not for you but… for me. Maybe I need that.”
“Have you ever tried it my way?” Richie said, squeezing his hands lightly.
He didn’t say anything. They both knew the answer.
“We can figure it out,” Richie said, lifting a hand to touch Eddie’s cheek.
“We tried that, Richie. It didn’t work,” Eddie said with a heavy sigh.
“So we try again,” Richie said, stroking Eddie’s hair away from his face. “Just… give me one night. Come with me to Atlanta. See the others and come to our concert. Let me show you what it’s like. Just give us a chance before you decide that we can’t do it, alright? If at the end of it, you still feel like this… we can talk about it.”
It made sense. But there was still a part of Eddie that was unsure.
“It’s one night, Eds. What could happen?”
Eddie swallowed hard and looked away, his heart sinking a little. He didn’t want to admit his thoughts to Richie. That one night really could change everything. It was one night, over a year ago, that brought Richie Tozier into his life and Eddie feared, more than anything, that one night could take him out of it.
“Okay,” he said.
“Yeah?” Richie said, sitting up a little straighter.
Eddie nodded slowly, swallowing his fear as a smile tugged at his lips.
“Yeah.”
Eddie felt breathless in a way that he couldn’t describe. Richie hadn’t let go of his hand once since he finished packing his bag. Eddie didn’t mind it at all. The touch kept him grounded and it seemed to calm Richie down too as they sat in two uncomfortable seats in the middle of an airport.
“Can I ask you something?” Eddie asked, wanting to distract himself from the anxious fluttering in his chest.
“You just did,” Richie said, grinning over at him.
“Don’t start.”
He tried not to smile as Richie laughed, rubbing his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles.
“I’m an open book, Eddie Spaghetti.”
“Why did you bring your guitar?” Eddie asked.
Richie looked a little abashed at that, shrugging one shoulder.
“I wasn’t really paying attention. It’s instinct, I guess. I don’t usually go anywhere without it,” he said.
Eddie could see it in his mind. A frazzled Richie grabbing everything within reach, including his guitar, before leaping out of the bus and waving down a taxi in the middle of Atlanta.
“I should’ve had you play it for me when I had the chance,” he said without thinking.
A slow grin formed on Richie’s face.
“Trust me, baby,” he said, bringing Eddie’s hand up to kiss the back of it lightly. “You’ll have plenty of chances.”
Heat rose to Eddie’s cheeks as he smiled.
“Good point,” he said.
Richie winked at him and opened his mouth to say something else but an announcement came over the speaker above them, calling out for passengers to board the plane.
“That would be us,” Richie said, pushing to his feet.
Eddie hesitated, the nervous feeling increasing. It wasn’t until now that he realized it had nothing to do with joining Richie. It was how they were doing it. He couldn’t bring himself to stand up and Richie didn’t notice until he tried to walk towards the gate and Eddie’s grip on his hand held him back.
“You okay?” Richie said, turning back towards him.
Swallowing hard, Eddie nodded slowly but couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.
“Hey…”
Richie squatted in front of him, a frown creasing his face.
“What’s going on? Are you having second thoughts?” he asked.
Eddie’s eyes finally shifted to meet his.
“No,” he said honestly.
“Eds-”
“I’m not,” Eddie insisted.
Richie raised his eyebrows, silently waiting to hear what was wrong. Part of Eddie didn’t want to admit what made him stop. Not to Richie, who had lived and seen so much. But he had to.
“I’ve never been on a plane,” he whispered.
Richie’s eyes lit up with realization.
“Shit, I didn’t even think about it,” he said, reaching up to press his free hand over Eddie’s cheek. “What can I do?”
Eddie could see that his mind was working to try to find a solution. He leaned in and brushed a kiss over Richie’s lips, stopping him short. It was a simple kiss, lasting no more than a moment.
“Just don’t let go,” he said quietly once he pulled away.
Richie nodded, giving him a soft smile.
“Don’t plan on it,” he said, straightening up to tug Eddie to his feet.
With that, they boarded a plane to Atlanta. Eddie thought for sure that he’d spend most of the flight as a nervous wreck. Imagine his surprise when, once Richie coaxed him through taking off, he fell asleep with his head on the other man’s shoulder and didn’t stir until the wheels hit the ground. Eddie jolted along with the plane, snapping his head up and staring around wildly until Richie hushed him.
“We just landed,” he said.
Eddie nodded, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Already?” he said, his voice a little hoarse.
“Yeah, someone slept the whole way,” Richie said, nudging his side. “Pretty good for a first time flier.”
“I guess I was more tired than I thought,” he said, leaning around Richie to watch as the plane navigated around the runways towards the airport.
The sun was shining and his still-bleary eyes protested at its brightness.
“Well I did give you some, uh… exercise,” Richie said.
Eddie’s eyes snapped to his face and he reached out, poking at his side.
“Stop looking so smug,” Eddie said, suddenly aware again of the soreness in his body from the night before.
“Fuck no. I’d shout it from a rooftop if I could,” Richie said, unbuckling his seatbelt with no concern for the fact that the sign was still on.
“Only if you want me to shove you off of it,” Eddie muttered.
Richie let out a bright laugh, tossing an arm over his shoulders.
“I missed this,” he said, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s temple.
“Me too,” Eddie said quietly.
Richie’s free hand was tapping on the armrest and his leg bounced as they plane moved slower, probably reaching the gate soon. Eddie felt bad, knowing that sitting still in the seat for hours while he slept on his shoulder must have been hard for Richie.
“You have ink on your hand,” he said to distract him, reaching out to lace their fingers.
“Yeah,” Richie nodded, looking down as well. “I signed a few autographs.”
All at once, Eddie realized that he wasn’t just sitting next to Richie. This was Richie Tozier. It was easy to forget about all of that when it was just the two of them. It was like a bubble of ignorance surrounded them.
“What’s going to happen tonight?” Eddie asked.
“What do you mean?” Richie asked, glancing over at him.
Eddie looked up at him, meeting his gaze.
“The concert,” he said. “What do I do?”
Richie straightened up a little bit, clearly considering it.
“You can do whatever you want,” he said, looking at Eddie. “I mean, Ben usually hangs out backstage or in the bus. You can rest up at the hotel if you want. It’s up to you.”
Eddie’s first thought was that he didn’t want to be alone. He had no idea what it would be like to stay backstage but he was willing to find out.
“I want to go to the concert,” he said.
A grin formed on Richie’s lips and his eyes lit up with what looked like an idea. Eddie didn’t get to question it before they finally pulled into the gate and the seatbelt sign turned off.
“Let’s get going then, Spaghetti Man,” he said, nudging Eddie out of his seat.
“Is there anything I can bribe you with to make you stop calling me that?” Eddie sighed as he stepped out into the narrow walkway, shifting forward to let Richie straighten up to his full height.
“You’re welcome to try,” Richie said suggestively.
With a roll of his eyes, Eddie slipped his bag onto his shoulder with one hand and took Richie’s hand with the other, leading him off of the plane.
The first thing that Eddie noticed when they pulled up to the hotel was the large black tour bus parked at the side. It was achingly familiar even though he hadn’t seen it in over a year. It reminded him of that night. But then again, everything about the last twenty-four hours reminded him of that night. Richie got out first, stretching his arms over his head with an overdramatic groan.
“Gotta tell ya, Eds, taking the same flight twice in one day really takes it out of your back,” he said, wincing as he rubbed at a sore spot along his spine.
“Need a walker, old man?” Eddie said, grinning at Richie’s offended scoff.
“More like a massage, know anyone who’s willing?” Richie asked.
“Try asking Mike.”
“You wound me.”
“Just get your damn guitar.”
Richie snickered, hoisting his bag and guitar case into his hands before leading the way into the lobby.
“Richard Tozier I am going to kick your fucking ass!”
Beverly’s voice echoed through the entire lobby and drew every eye to them. Eddie was hidden by Richie’s taller form so he didn’t see her stomp over but he could imagine the look on her face.
“What the hell were you thinking? You can’t just hop on a plane without saying anything! You’re damn lucky that Eddie called to tell us that you were okay or you’d be on the floor right now. I swear to God I will punch you in the-”
She cut off when Eddie stepped out, taking her in with a smile. She looked just how he remembered, with the fire in her eyes matching her hair and no shortage of bracelets on her wrists. The worn clunky boots she wore contrasted almost perfectly with the floral dress and jean jacket.
“Eddie,” Beverly breathed out, clearly not expecting him to be there.
“You didn’t tell her?” Eddie asked, looking up at Richie, who shook his head with a smile in spite of the several threats he just received from his bandmate and best friend.
“Oh my God,” Beverly said, letting out a delighted laugh before launching herself Eddie’s way.
He staggered a little but righted himself into the hug quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist. They swayed for a few long moments before she pulled away, pressing her warm hands to his cheeks with shining eyes.
“I can’t believe it,” she breathed out.
“You’re the one who told me to give him a chance,” Eddie reminded her quietly.
“Yeah but I didn’t think…” Beverly trailed off, shaking her head with a blinding smile. “I’m glad you’re here. The others are going to lose their shit when they see you.”
She stepped away from him, turning around to smack a grinning Richie’s arm.
“You didn’t say anything."
“That’s the point of a surprise, Red. Wouldn’t have meant much if I told you about it first,” Richie said, reaching out to slip his hand into Eddie’s.
She looked between them with thinly veiled happiness, clasping her hands together in front of her mouth.
“You guys,” Beverly said, looking a little misty eyed.
Richie pressed a kiss into Eddie’s hair.
“We have soundcheck in an hour and a half,” she said, shaking herself out of it. “You better be ready.”
“Let us go get cleaned up,” Richie said, producing a room key from his wallet.
They all walked to the elevators and rode up together. Before they could go their separate was on the top floor, Beverly pressed a kiss to Richie’s cheek and squeezed Eddie’s arm lightly.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said quietly.
“Me too,” Eddie told her.
With a nod in their direction, Beverly made her way towards her hotel room as Richie directed Eddie towards his. It was a lot like the one in Portland from a year ago in terms of size. Eddie barely managed to drop his bag on a couch and kick off his shoes before Richie was tugging him into his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips as he walked him backwards towards the bed.
“Don’t you… don’t you have soundcheck?” Eddie murmured, his words muffled by the kiss.
“We’re always late for that shit,” Richie said, pressing him gently back into the mattress.
“I wonder why,” Eddie said, looking up at him. “Maybe it’s cause of the lead singer.”
With a shrug and a grin, Richie braced his hands on either side of his face and bent down to kiss him again. It was slow and languid, yet no less passionate because of it. Richie was taking his time and Eddie was perfectly content to go along with it. There was no need to rush through anything. They didn’t have a time limit. The thought of it made Eddie feel practically giddy.
“Take a shower with me,” Richie said, pulling away from him.
Eddie bit down on his lower lip and considered it for a moment before nodding slowly. Richie looked absolutely elated at the fact that he’d agreed, tugging him to his feet before he could take a breath. Eddie laughed as he dragged him towards the bathroom, barely managing to remind him that he had to actually undress out of fear that Richie would drag him in there fully clothed.
“Allow me,” Richie said, tugging him in close.
He slipped Eddie’s jacket off of his shoulders and tossed it back into the room, careless of where it landed. A protest rose to his lips but it was chased away by another kiss from Richie, probably on purpose. Then he was yanking his own jacket off and throwing it out too. Yet Richie didn’t move to undress Eddie anymore, stroking his thumbs across his jaw and running his fingers through his hair as he gazed down at Eddie.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed out, as if he couldn’t quite believe that Eddie was there. “I keep thinking you’re gonna disappear.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie said, reaching up to clasp his hands over Richie’s wrists. “I’m here, Rich.”
He pushed up on his toes, laying a soft kiss on Richie’s lips. It lingered for a long few moments before Richie pulled away and guided his hands until his arms were up over his head. Eddie remained still as he pulled his shirt off gently, only letting his arms drop when it hit the ground. Then Richie was hauling him into his arms, pressing him to the wall with his lips at Eddie’s throat, kissing and sucking and nipping at the skin.
“The-the… shower… we have to… Richie…” Eddie choked out, heat flooding his body and centering in his lower belly with every press of Richie’s lips or gentle sting of his teeth.
“We’ll get there,” Richie said, his voice muffled.
Eddie’s hands twisted into his shirt as he gasped, tilting his head back against the wall behind him. When Richie’s hips rolled against him, Eddie’s eyes slid closed and he bit down hard on his lip to keep from moaning aloud. Then Richie stepped away and yanked his own shirt over his head, clearly desperate to have more of their skin touching. Eddie took the opportunity to duck away from him, opening the shower door to turn the water on. He barely managed to twist it to warm before Richie was tugging him back into his arms. A breathless laugh fell from Eddie’s lips as he was twirled around and suddenly Richie was kissing him again.
Richie grinned into the kiss and reached between them to unfasten Eddie’s pants, shoving them down his hips once they were loose enough. Eddie didn’t hesitate to step out of them and kick them away as Richie did the same to his own jeans. Then Richie was taking his time to run his hands over Eddie’s back, exploring the soft expanse of skin as his lips trailed over his freckled shoulder, connecting each spot with his lips as if they were constellations in the sky. Eddie found himself melting into him, held up only by Richie’s hands.
“The water is gonna get cold,” he managed to say.
Richie hummed in agreement, stepping away only to shove his boxers down. Eddie did the same just before they stumbled their way into the shower, their lips connecting once more as they stood under the warm spray of water. It was strangely erotic and somewhat insane, considering all the ways they could slip and break something on the slick floor. But Eddie couldn’t bring himself to think about the statistics of hurting themselves, sliding his fingers into Richie’s drenched hair and kissing him for all he was worth.
Then he was pushed out of the water and couldn’t help the shiver that ran through his body when his back met the significantly cooler tile wall. Richie didn’t give him a chance to complain, reaching between them to wrap his hands around Eddie’s cock. A strangled moan rose in his throat as Eddie’s tilted his head up to look into Richie’s hot, dark eyes. Without breaking his gaze or releasing him, Richie reached up with his other hand and turned the nozzle until the water washed over them again, making Eddie feel hot all over when he began stroking him slowly, running his thumb over the tip of his cock and teasing at his slit while watching him.
It took every ounce of Eddie’s self control not to thrust into his hand. His breaths came out in harsh puffs as he dug his fingernails into Richie’s shoulders, feeling overstimulated by the hand on his cock and the water coming down on his skin. It was almost too much for him not to come right then and there but he wasn’t ready. He wanted more. He wanted them both to come. Reaching down, he wrapped his fingers around Richie’s cock and relished in his breathy “fuck!” as he stroked him just as slowly and purposefully as he was being stroked.
Eddie watched Richie’s face, letting his eyes linger on the flush in his cheeks and the swollenness of his lips as well as how his dark hair hung in his eyes, droplets clinging to the ends of the strands as he stared at Eddie heatedly. They set a rhythm together, their motions speeding up the closer they got to their orgasms. Richie’s lips didn’t take long to crash down on his, smothering Eddie’s moans and cries with every sweep of his tongue and nip of his teeth. It was messy and wet and hot but it was right and good and Eddie hadn’t felt this whole in so long. He came first, wrenching away from Richie’s lips with a cry of his name.
It didn’t matter that his hand stilled on Richie because a few thrusts into his palm and Richie was coming too, hiding his face in Eddie’s soaked hair. The water turned a shade cooler as they came down from their peaks and Eddie reached out with a trembling hand to turn it a little hotter. Richie pressed a sweet kiss to Eddie’s lips as he shifted them back towards the center of the shower, redirecting the spray once more. Then they were washing each other, laughing as the bar of soap slipped between their fingers and the shampoo made their hair stick up in all directions. Richie’s fingers were magic as they massaged Eddie’s scalp, rinsing every bit of soap out while making sure it didn’t get in Eddie’s eyes.
Eddie made sure to work the conditioner through Richie’s hair thoroughly, knowing that his curls would need it to stay as thick and uncontrollable as they were. Then they kissed until the water ran cold and kissed some more as they dried off, unable to tear themselves away from one another. It wasn’t until a loud knock came on the door as Richie tossed Eddie on the bed and began kissing his way down his stomach that they realized just how much time they’d spent in the bathroom.
“Shit,” Richie grumbled as they heard Stan calling out for him to hurry his ass up before they left him behind, Bill adding that they would take him off the set list if he took any more time.
It was an empty threat but it was clear that they knew he was back in Atlanta. Eddie wondered if Bev had told them yet.
“Fucking cockblockers,” Richie complained, sliding off the bed with his towel hanging low around his hips. “Can’t a guy go down on his man in peace?”
“We can pick this up later,” Eddie said with a fond roll of his eyes, walking out to get his bag from the couch where he left it.
Richie hummed in agreement and they both dressed quickly. Eddie barely managed to finish tying off his shoes before Richie came out in a dark red henley with the sleeves rolled to the elbows and dark jeans with rips at the knees. He let out a laugh when he saw what Eddie was wearing, pulling him in by the lapels of his cardigan before pressing a long kiss to his lips.
“Fucking adorable,” he murmured against his lips.
Eddie flushed but didn’t say anything. He knew what he’d been doing when he packed. Richie laced their fingers yet again before tugging him towards the door. The others weren’t anywhere to be found and Eddie’s face must have shown his fear that they really did leave Richie behind.
“They’re assholes but they wouldn’t actually leave me,” Richie said as they walked towards the escalator. “They know who the real moneymaker is.”
He winked at Eddie, who scoffed as he pressed the down button.
“You do mean Beverly, right?” he said.
Richie narrowed his eyes playfully.
“Bill?” Eddie said innocently.
“No,” Richie said.
“Oh then obviously Mike.”
“Fuck off.”
“You mean Stan then! Gotcha!”
Richie reached out to muss his hair and Eddie dodged him with a laugh that was almost a giggle, much to his surprise. They staggered into the elevator and pressed the lobby button only to stop on three different floors between them. Eddie easily noticed the stares that were leveled their way but Richie, who was actually on the receiving end of them, didn’t seem aware of them as he typed something on his phone with one hand while stroking his thumb in circles over the back of Eddie’s hand. It must have just been a common occurrence.
“Ex-excuse me,” one of the woman on the elevator said, finally gaining Richie’s attention. “Are you…”
He stared at her for a long moment.
“Am I?” Richie said, raising one eyebrow.
Eddie could hear the teasing tone in his voice even if the others couldn’t and wanted to poke him in the side for torturing the poor woman.
“You’re… the lead singer of that band. The, uh…”
“The Losers,” Eddie said, taking pity on her as she settled into a long pause, an embarrassed flush filling her cheeks.
“Yes,” she said with a nod.
Richie nodded once with a smile.
“Guilty as charged.”
The other people all exchanged looks but the woman’s eyes darted downwards to Eddie and Richie’s joined hands. An awkward moment passed as Eddie could almost sense what she was thinking. Apparently there was a difference between a celebrity being out as bisexual, as Richie was, and actually showing it by holding hands with another man. He should have remembered that when agreeing to travel to the south of all places. It was his turn for color to rise to his cheeks but for an entirely different reason.
Eddie turned his face away and Richie squeezed his hand lightly, clearly getting the same sense of unease with the woman now. Not another word was spoken until they reached the lobby. One of the men commented that he was a big fan before holding the elevator doors open for them, letting Eddie and Richie pass first. Their steps were quick as they both wanted to get out of the hotel and back into their bubble of ignorance.
“You alright?” Richie asked quietly once they were outside.
“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, looking up at him with honesty shining in his eyes. “I’m with you.”
Richie smiled down at him, looking relieved as he tugged him towards where the bus was parked. They no sooner rounded the corner before Eddie heard a shout of surprise. Then he was being tugged into a hug by Ben, his hand slipping out of Richie as he hugged his oldest friend back with a laugh. Then it was Mike and Bill and even Stan, all hugging him and rambling on about how happy they were that he was there, not a one of them mentioning Richie’s disappearing act outside of Stan giving him a look complete with pursed lips.
“You should have told us what was going on,” he said simply.
“I know,” Richie acknowledged.
And that was that. They took off towards the venue where they were playing that night, finding it almost too easy to fall back into comfortable conversation with the six people around them. It was as if they’d known each other forever, talking over and with one another while trading teasing comments and easy laughter. It was easy to see what Richie meant when it was like this. They existed as a unit. A family. There was nothing else in the world that they needed because they had each other. Ben fit into the group seamlessly, Bev perched on his lap with her arms wound loosely around his shoulders as if they were made for one another. Eddie wondered if, to the outside eye, that’s what he and Richie looked like. Or would it take time, like it did with Ben and Bev?
“What is it?” Richie asked, noticing his silence.
He gently turned his face until their eyes met and Eddie shook his head.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Eds,” Richie sighed.
He clearly wasn’t buying it.
“I’m just thinking,” Eddie said quietly, so that only he could hear. “Wondering what we look like.”
Richie frowned a little, looking confused.
“Is this about the woman in the elevator?” he asked.
“No,” Eddie said, glancing towards the others. “Don’t you wonder? What we look like from the outside? I mean we see Ben and Bev. And we see Bill, Mike, and Stan. But what do they see when they look at us?”
Richie didn’t look like he completely understood but a smile tugged at his lips nonetheless.
“The two sexiest motherfuckers to walk this planet,” he said, tangling his hand in Eddie’s nearly dry hair to kiss him.
Eddie let himself melt into the kiss for a moment before pulling away.
“It doesn’t scare you? What might happen if more people see us like this?” he asked.
Richie sighed, looking at him with raised eyebrows.
“So now it’s about the woman in the elevator?” he asked.
Eddie nodded slowly, knowing that he couldn’t deny it this time.
“No, I’m not scared,” Richie said simply.
“How?” Eddie asked, shaking his head. “How does nothing scare you?”
Richie shrugged, glancing around.
“Because as long as I have this,” he said, nodding his chin at the other five people on the bus and Eddie himself. “Nothing else in the world matters.”
The bus jolted to a stop before Eddie could say anything and he realized that they must be there when the engine shut off.
“And your music,” he said.
“And my music,” Richie agreed as the others stood.
They all filed out of the bus, their loud conversation unceasing. Eddie let Richie pull him to his feet to follow, feeling grateful that Richie didn’t ask him what he was scared of. Because he felt just vulnerable enough that he just might answer. And the last thing he wanted Richie to know right now was the truth. Because if he had to admit what he was scared of, right then and there, he would have to admit that it was Richie himself. But not of anything that Richie might do or say, but of who Richie was. A free person. Unapologetically himself in every way. It scared the hell out of Eddie because Richie was big and bright and beautiful. He was everything. And he was terrified that one day, because of everything that Richie was and could be, Eddie wouldn’t be enough for him.
It was odd, watching the band do their soundcheck from the wings of the stage. Ben was next to him leaning against a pillar with his hands tapping out the beat against his leg as they went through one of their more popular songs. He must have been beyond used to it, having seen stuff like this dozens of times. But Eddie was transfixed and not just by Richie, though he seemed to fill the entire room with his charismatic, somewhat chaotic energy even with the seats completely empty.
Eddie was only distracted by the surreal nature of it all when he began to sing, his husky voice filling the room and echoing to the rafters. Now he was staring for an entirely different reason. Richie was almost hypnotic, just like that first night when Eddie watched from the small crowd of people fit into that tiny bar. Everything else just faded away Even when Richie stepped away to look down at the guitar in his hands, playing perfectly along with the other four members of the band, everything about him caught Eddie’s eye.
Then he lifted his head and looked directly at Eddie, winking at him before sinking his teeth into his lower lip and bobbing his head along with the music. They barely finished the song before moving onto another one, stopping only to let the sound guys adjust settings on the hundreds of speakers all around the huge venue before continuing on. It was a more relaxed affair than he expected, with Richie and the others all joking around and laughing, mingling about the stage and even playfully dancing around to their own music, bringing a smile to his face. Then the sound guys called it quits and the lighting guys took over, meaning that the band members only had to stand around and let the lights work around them.
Beverly spun her guitar around to sit against her back as she sipped from a bottle of water while she spoke to Stan about something to do with him spending some of his childhood in Georgia. Mike and Bill were arguing over something lightheartedly, smiles on both of their faces. Richie stood at his microphone focusing on his guitar, strumming his fingers over the strings softly before transitioning into a slow riff. Eddie recognized it. He didn’t know where he recognized it from, but he did. As soon as Richie repeated it, Bev’s head snapped around but she didn’t look at Richie, but rather directly at Eddie. It was strange.
Then Richie began to sing something that Eddie had never heard
Couldn’t believe my eyes
When I saw him in that place
It feels like yesterday
Took me by surprise
That delicate face
Couldn’t let him drift away
All at once, Eddie knew what this was. He remembered where he heard the short riff from because he remembered being there when Richie was writing it. In that hotel room in Portland with sun filtering through the window and Richie holding a guitar in his lap as Eddie watched him from the bed. I always keep one around in case inspiration strikes, Richie had told him that night. It was Eddie. He inspired that music that Richie was writing and this was obviously the song that he told him about. He felt rooted to the spot as Richie sang, unable to tear his eyes away. It wasn’t a whole song, just a verse.
But it was them . Him and Richie woven into the lyrics and the strumming of Richie’s guitar as everyone else fell silent to just listen. When he finished, Richie blinked his eyes open and turned to look at Eddie, who had a tear slipping down his face that he quickly tried to wipe away. No one else said a word as Richie pulled the guitar off and handed it to a crewman, crossing the stage to Eddie. Ben slipped away to meet Bev on the stage as they both wordlessly stepped into the shadows.
Richie’s hands cupped his face gently as he kissed him, slowly and meaningfully, with every bit of emotion from his singing poured into the kiss. Eddie clutched at his shirt and deepened the kiss, shaking in Richie’s arms as he realized the utter depth of them. It wasn’t fleeting. Not like he feared. This was the right decision. Richie was enough for him. He could even face his fears if it meant being here. Eddie couldn’t imagine walking away. Richie broke away to look down at him, happiness shining in his eyes.
“So?” he said, sounding nervous. “I’ve never sang it live before but-”
Eddie cut him off with another kiss, aligning their bodies perfectly in a way that made it impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began.
“It’s perfect,” he whispered against Richie’s lips. “Absolutely perfect.”
Richie wound his arms around him and kissed him with everything he had, wordlessly agreeing with Eddie. It was perfect.
If Eddie thought that watching the soundcheck was exhilarating, it was nothing to the actual concert. The atmosphere was lively and from his place back in the wings, he got to see and hear the screaming crowd up close yet from a different point of view. Richie thrived on every single bit of it, his charm tripling as he interacted with the crowd and the others. Each of the Losers would talk at different intervals, introducing one another and talking about the songs that they were playing as well as their own experienced growing up. Eddie could feel the purest two way street of love between the band and their fans, coming to understand why Richie loved it so much.
It barely felt like time passed at all by the time the concert ended with an encore of the first song that they ever wrote, and their most famous hit. It felt like he barely blinked and they were on the bus headed back to the hotel. Eddie was curled on the couch next to Bev, watching her scroll through Twitter so that she could see all the pictures that fans had posted from the concert. It was sweet, watching her react to each and every one with a smile. Richie’s head was in his lap as he talked animatedly, using his hands as well as his words to tell Ben an elaborate story about a childhood memory including Bev and Bill.
They barely pulled up to the hotel and stepped out of the bus before Beverly suggested they all head to her and Ben’s room. Everyone agreed and they even stopped in the bar to buy a few bottles of champagne. Eddie felt like they were celebrating something, though he wasn’t sure what. Any trace of exhaustion disappeared when they filed into the elevator, laughing and talking without care for anything else outside of their group of seven. When they reached their floor, Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie’s lips before announcing that he was going to take a shower.
Bev made sure to leave the door open for him so that he could slip inside as Bill and Mike gathered seven cups, Stan found something from his music library for them to listen to, and Ben set to work on opening a champagne bottle. They barely had a cup in hand before the music was cranked up and Bev dragged Mike in close to dance, singing loudly in between sips. Eddie sat with Bill and Stan, laughing at their exaggerated dance moves. Apparently that was a one way ticket to finding himself in the middle of the dance party because Bev was dragging him up to join before long.
He wasn’t much of a dancer but it was hard to resist when she was holding both of his hands and encouraging him to move with her. The champagne in his system made him feel light and giddy so Eddie let himself loosen up, for one failing to notice when Richie entered the room. Ben exchanged an amused look with the newcomer, shrugging when Richie gave him a raised eyebrow look.
“Bev is hard to resist,” he said.
“Don’t I know it,” Richie said, grinning as Mike twirled both Beverly and Eddie around before they did the same to him, ending up with tangled arms all around.
“He looks really happy,” Ben said as they extracted themselves from one another, all three of them laughing. “I’m glad he’s getting out of Maine.”
Richie nodded in agreement, pouring himself a glass of the champagne as well.
“It’s all he ever used to talk about, you know,” Ben continued.
He didn’t know exactly what that meant.
“Getting out?” Richie said.
“Getting out and doing it on his own,” Ben nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “He always said that he wanted to do something that meant something. He chose a business degree because it’s versatile. At the end of the day, Eddie’s always wanted to change the world. Or at least as much of the world as he can. He wants to help kids like him, who have to fight for themselves”
Richie turned his words over in his head, a small frown forming on his lips.
“I didn’t know that,” he said.
Before Ben could say anything else, Eddie and Bev both noticed Richie’s presence and whispered something amongst themselves before they both held a hand out to him. It was an invitation that was impossible to refuse, and so he didn’t. Dismissing what Ben said from his head for now, Richie set down his drink and moved towards them, letting himself be pulled into the dancing, jumping, and horrible singing that they were doing. It was easy to forget, when they were like this.
Eddie was facing him, his hands on his shoulders with Richie’s on his hips. Bev was behind Eddie, grinding with him with her hand tangled with Mike’s, who was next to them dancing without a care in the world. It didn’t take long for Bill and Stan to join, which eventually brought Ben over too. Eddie’s eyes were bright as he looked up at Richie, his smile relaxed and happy. For the moment, that was enough for Richie. He didn’t know what would happen when the dancing ended and the champagne wore off. But for now, with everyone he loved around him, it was perfect.
It didn’t take too long for management to come with a complaint about the noise. They decided to watch a movie to calm down, which was a good idea until people began dropping off into sleep one by one. Bev was the first to go, her head in Ben’s lap. As soon as Stan’s chin dropped down to his chest and Bill tipped over into MIke’s side, he gathered them up to go back to their room. Eddie was pretty bleary-eyed himself, confirming to Richie that he was ready to go too. He tugged him up to his feet and they said goodbye to Ben, who smiled and waved in return.
Only once they got back to Richie’s room, Eddie felt a little more awake as he drifted behind Richie into the bedroom, dropping his cardigan on the couch and kicking his shoes off by the bed. Richie sat down on the bed first, tugging Eddie down until he was straddling his lap. It wasn’t until they kissed that he remembered what Ben said. It made his heart sink a little. Part of him wished that Ben hadn’t said anything at all. Then Richie could have continued on with blissful ignorance. But that wouldn’t have been fair. Not to Eddie. Richie didn’t realize that he’d stopped kissing back until Eddie pulled away, the content look in his eyes fading as he sensed the shift in mood
“Richie, what’s going on?” he asked, his voice hushed.
“We need to talk,” Richie said, his voice heavy to his own ears.
Eddie stared at him with wary concern, clearly not liking the sound of that.
“Ben told me that…” he trailed off, unsure of how to say it. “That you have stuff you want to do.”
It was a confusingly vague statement and Richie knew it. But he didn’t know how to talk about this. He didn’t want to talk about this. There was only one way that this conversation could go and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it.
“What does that mean?” Eddie asked.
Richie swallowed hard, reaching up to stroke his thumb over Eddie’s cheek.
“Eds, you gotta know that I-I haven’t felt like this before. Not ever. I want you to know that before I say anything else,” he said.
Eddie’s frown deepened at his words.
“Richie what the fuck is going on?” he said, his voice taking on a little bit of hysteria.
With a heavy sigh, Richie cupped his cheek before speaking.
“I think we should have talked more. I should have asked you...”
Eddie’s eyes widened and he stared at Richie for several long, silent moments. Then his lower lip trembled and he shook his head, gripping Richie’s shoulders tighter as he finally caught on.
“No,” he said, his voice breaking. “I told you, Rich. I told you what I want.”
“Eds-”
“I chose you,” Eddie cut him off.
Richie took a deep breath before pressing his forehead to Eddie’s.
“I’m living my dream,” he murmured, still stroking Eddie’s cheek with his thumb. “Making music, performing… it’s all I wanted when I was a fucked up kid lying in my bed at night thinking about the future. I got to do it. And Ben told me that you have dreams of your own. Not just working at a financial firm but helping people. Helping kids go through their shit so that they don't have to do it alone like you did. I didn't listen to you before and I think if I had, I would have figured it out. But I know now and... and I can't let you throw that away. I’m here because I never gave up on my dream. I’m not gonna be the reason you give up on yours.”
Eddie shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. It took a moment to realize that the hitch in every breath he took was an attempt not to break down and cry. A tear slipped out from beneath his closed lid and traced a slow path down his cheek as Richie pulled away to look at him. Eddie didn’t open his eyes.
“Hey,” Richie said softly, cupping his cheeks in both hands. “Baby please don’t cry.”
Eddie whimpered, shaking his head.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice quiet and shaky as more tears followed the first.
“Look at me,” Richie said.
It took a couple of seconds but Eddie finally opened his eyes, looking back at Richie with a mournful gaze.
“Whatever you choose, whatever city you move to, whatever stuffed up firm is lucky enough to have you… it doesn’t mean you’re losing me,” Richie said, wiping the tears from Eddie’s cheeks. “Just cause we’re not together now or next week or even next year doesn’t mean we’re not meant to be with each other. It’ll happen for us, Eddie. When the time is right, I believe that we’ll wake up in each other’s arms every morning and go to sleep in each other’s arms every night and we’ll kiss and we’ll fuck and we’ll put every other couple to shame because we’ll be the two happiest goddamn people in the world.”
Eddie let out a teary laugh, unable to help himself as Richie grinned at him.
“There he is,” Richie said, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
They both let the kiss go on, lingering for several long moments.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Eddie whispered when he pulled away, looking Richie in the eye. “I don’t know if I can say-”
“Not yet,” Richie said, cutting him off.
He wasn’t willing to hear that word. Not yet. Eddie simply nodded.
“Kiss me again,” he said, already pulling Richie in close. “Don’t stop.”
Richie did just that, kissing him with everything he had. It was filled with passion and heat and desperation but there was an undercurrent of sadness. Because whether they said it or not, they both knew what was happening. It had been in the works since they came to Atlanta. Or maybe even since Richie showed up on Eddie’s doorstep. Goodbye didn’t mean not ever. It just meant not now. But that didn’t stop the tears from filling their eyes and slipping down their cheeks. It didn’t stop Eddie from crying into Richie’s shirt the next morning. It didn’t stop them from kissing like it was the last time in the parking lot of the hotel, the other five watching them from a distance. It didn’t stop Richie from falling to the ground as soon as the taxi disappeared from sight, taking Eddie back to the airport.
They never did say goodbye.
They couldn’t.
Eddie slipped through the door with a sigh, wondering how just half a day of work and a few meetings could exhaust him so much. He kicked off his shoes by the door before locking it behind him, dropping his bag by the couch. Deeper in the apartment, Eddie could hear a familiar sound and a tired smile formed on his face as he stripped off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt, making his way back to the bedroom. Sure enough, he was there. Eddie’s fiancé. His back was facing Eddie as he sat cross-legged on the bed, his guitar cradled on his lap with a piece of paper on the bed next to him, notes scrawled out in his messy writing. Eddie leaned against the doorway, content to watch.
All that the other man wore was a pair of faded pajama pants and a loose black t-shirt. His hair curled beneath his collar and Eddie could see the hint of a dark hickey peeking out from his shoulder. A shudder ran through Eddie at the reminder of last night as his fiancé strummed his fingers over the strings before plucking out an unfamiliar riff. It had been a while since Eddie saw him composing something. It made his heart swell a little bit to know that he was inspired right now. When he turned his head to write something down, Eddie felt almost overwhelmed by the fact that this beautiful, talented, amazing man was all his.
“Hey,” he said softly, crossing the room to kneel on the bed behind him.
Eddie slid his arms around him, careful not to displace the guitar as he placed a kiss on the back of his neck.
“Whatcha writing about?”
“Oh you know,” Richie said, leaning into him. “The future Mr. Tozier.”
He turned his head, grinning at Eddie, who felt color rising to his cheeks.
“Well…” Eddie said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I think you should make love to the future Mr. Tozier.”
Richie leaned away only to set the guitar in the case on the ground as Eddie watched, still perched on his knees with his hands folded in his lap. Once the paper was gone too, Richie pushed up on his own knees and cradled Eddie’s face in his hands as he leaned in. The kiss was soft and lingering, an unhurried and repeated brush of lips before Richie pulled away.
“I will gladly make love to the future Mr. Tozier,” he said, untucking Eddie’s dress shirt to slip it off and toss it away.
“You just like saying that,” Eddie accused with a smile, stroking his fingers through Richie’s hair.
“You’re damn right I do.”
Richie pushed him back onto the bed, capturing his lips in a more passionate kiss as they picked up right where they left off the night before.