Further Adjustments

by MrProphet

Excerpts from Proceedings of the Annual Convention of Fantasyland Insurance Underwriters; a collection of the best claim stories of the year.

“The force which levelled the barracks building was the wrath of St Cuthbert, an ascended mortal and intermediate deity. The question of whether such an entity should be considered a god is one for the clergy, but under financial regulations any spontaneous act of divinity without clerical intercession is considered an act of god.”

“The client insisted that, rather than seeking the clash, he became aware of the dragon’s presence only when it ate, without provocation, three horses and a cavalier.”

“It was once again necessary to refer to the civil health and safety at work code, section 132(a), subsection 4 paragraph 9, which clearly establishes that delving too deeply and too greedily constitutes negligent and/or reckless endangerment in violation of all standard insurance terms.”

“We explained to the goblin king that the damages were a matter for a civil claim against the dwarfs in question.”

“So I told him that, realistically, a self-described King huffing on a herbal infusion does not constitute appropriate medical treatment.”

“Once more, apparently, a wizard did it.”

Notes:

Borrows loosely from D&D and Lord of the Rings, and thematically from Diana Wynn Jones's Tough Guide to Fantasyland.