Chapter Text
The first thing Zhenya notices about Pittsburgh is that the skyline hasn’t changed at all. Not that he’d have expected it to (he didn’t think they’d have torn down all the bridges in the year and half since he’s been gone or anything), but it’s a nice reminder that this city – his city – is still here for him. He may have abandoned it, thought he’d left it forever, but it’s still here waiting and that feels good.
He’s making the right choice, he knows that now. He’d been sure of it when he left Magnitka, but it had been a long flight from Frankfurt to Washington and he’d started to have his doubts around hour five. He’d had just enough time in Dulles to shake himself out of it before he caught his connecting flight, though, and then there had been a baby one row ahead of him on the short flight to Pittsburgh who kept peaking back between the seats at Zhenya. Zhenya had distracted himself with making silly faces for the little one, and so he hadn’t had time to work himself up again before the Pittsburgh skyline came into view.
And now here he is, standing outside the airport, breathing in the late summer air. It smells like gasoline and fried food, and the possibility of trees in the distance. It could be the smell of any city, but it still makes him swallow hard with how good it is to be home. He has a plan: catch an Uber to Sewickley and bang on Seryozha’s door. He’ll beg a place to stay, and then tomorrow he’ll go the Academy to see if there’s an open position for him. When all that’s been sorted out, he’ll go to see Sidney. It might take a few days to get his feet under him again, but with any luck, soon everything will be exactly how it was when he left.
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His plan, Zhenya realizes quickly, may have been quite optimistic, and perhaps – if one were being ungenerous – shortsighted. Probably it would have been better to actually call Seryozha before just showing up at his house. But in his defense, Zhenya hadn’t counted on Seryozha being in the middle of dinner, or on his tight-lipped greeting when he opened the door and saw Zhenya standing on his front stoop.
Probably there are a lot of things Zhenya hasn’t counted on. He’s never been a strong planner.
“Zhenya,” Seryozha says slowly, “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for a place to stay,” Zhenya says, a little put-off by Seryozha’s tone. He had expected surprise, confusion even, but not this coldness. “If it doesn’t inconvenience you, of course.”
Seryozha blinks for a long, confusing moment. Then he says, “No, of course not,” and stands aside for Zhenya to come in.
Zhenya hoists his bag onto his back and brushes past him into the house. Everything in the hall looks the same, at least, and that’s something of a comfort, even if Seryozha’s behaving oddly.
“The guest room is empty, if you want to put your things there,” Seryozha says. “We’re having dinner. Do you want to join us or should I set something aside for later?”
Zhenya considers. It’s not that he isn’t tired; by this point, he’s essentially running on jet fumes and a coffee he’d chugged in D.C. But he knows if he goes to bed now without eating, he’ll be sorry for it later.
“Let me change and wash up,” he says.
It’s been a year and half since Zhenya set foot in this house, but he remembers the way to the guest room clearly, and from there to the bathroom. The bathroom’s been redecorated – pale blue now instead of green like when Zhenya lived here – but the view from the window is just the same, looking down into the little garden and backyard where Zhenya used to run around with the girls. It makes him smile as he washes his face and hands. Hopefully they’ll all be able to pick up just where they left off.
By the time he makes it down to the dining room – a little cleaner and determined to push past whatever weirdness is going on with Seryozha – Ksenia has a plate set out for him.
The girls must have been informed about their visitor, too, because the minute they spot him in the doorway, they both hop out of their seats and rush over to hug him.
“Zhenya, Zhenya!” Natalie screeches, bowling into him. Victoria’s hot on her heels, and Zhenya folds himself down onto the floor to meet her.
“Look at you both!” he says, holding them both tight. “You’re so big! I missed you so much!”
“It’s good to see you, Zhenya,” Ksenia says, and Zhenya grins up at her, brushing Natalie’s hair out of his eyes.
“It’s good to be back,” he says.
She’s smiling, he notices, but there’s something tense about the way she’s standing, arms crossed over her chest and shoulders drawn up. Seryozha isn’t even trying to smile, though his expression looks more resigned than it did in the hall. The strangeness of it all almost takes the pleasure out of seeing the girls again. Almost.
When the girls have gotten their fill of him and have allowed themselves to be herded back into their chairs by their mother, Zhenya takes a seat in front of the plate laid out for him.
“This smells wonderful,” he tells Ksenia. And then, thinking maybe his timing is what’s causing the tension, he adds, “Sorry I didn’t give you more warning. I was going to call, but it’s been a long few days.”
It’s sort of true. He was going to call, but he’d still been second-guessing this decision until the moment the plane started to circle over the city. He could have called from the airport, he supposes, but he’d figured it would be easier for everyone if he just found his own way here. Clearly that had been a mistake, but he’s not exactly clear on why.
“Don’t worry yourself about it. You’re always welcome here,” Ksenia says, and she sounds sincere about that, at least.
“Thank you,” Zhenya manages, and then Natalie is commandeering his attention to tell him about all the thing she’s been doing since the last time they spoke – what she’s learning in school, the new kid on her ice hockey team, what she got for her last birthday (which Zhenya already knows because they Skyped about it a few days afterward, and she’d already been wearing the bracelet he sent her).
Zhenya listens and nods along as he eats, but between her comforting chatter and the food filling his stomach, he starts to zone out – chewing mechanically, fork only making it to his mouth by sheer dumb luck.
When his eyes start to droop, Ksenia breaks in and says, “That’s enough, Natasha. Zhenya’s had a long day and needs to sleep. You can finish catching him up tomorrow.”
Natalie pouts, but obediently falls silent.
Zhenya blinks hard and puts his fork down.
“Sorry,” he tells her. He’s going to crash so hard, and he hopes he’s in a real bed when it happens.
He stands and goes to grab his plate, but Seryozha waves him off.
“I’ll get it. But let me walk you upstairs.”
He mustn’t be too mad, Zhenya figures, if he’s worried enough to make sure Zhenya gets up the steps in one piece.
“Good night, Zhenya!” Natalie says, and Victoria repeats her.
“Good night,” Zhenya says, and winks at Victoria, who giggles at him.
“I can’t believe how big they’ve gotten,” he says as he leads Seryozha up the stairs.
“Yes,” Seryozha says. “That’s what happens when you leave for over a year, Zhenya. You miss the children growing up.”
His voice sounds cold again, more even than it did when he first opened the door, and Zhenya whips around to look at him.
“Why are you angry?” he asks, feeling lost and a little big angry himself. “I’ve done nothing!”
“Yes,” Seryozha says. “I’m aware of that. Have you talked to Sid yet?”
Zhenya frowns. “What’s Sid have to do with this?”
“Are you even going to see him while you’re in town?”
“Yes, of course,” Zhenya says, still confused. As if Sid isn’t his main reason for coming back. But… “What does it matter to you?”
“The boy deserves better, Zhenya. I don’t know what happened between you and Sid and I don’t care. If you want to ruin your life by walking away, that’s on you, but that boy needs you, and you had better do the right thing by him.”
The heavy, choking feeling Zhenya’s been pushing down since Magnitka wells up again, and he has to grip the railing to keep himself from sinking down on the stairs.
“I know,” he manages to say around the lump in his throat. He’d fucked up with Sid and he knows it. “I know that. It’s why I’m here. I’m going to fix it, Seryozha.”
Seryozha looks at him hard for a long moment, then says, “Okay,” and waves a hand for Zhenya to keep walking.
Zhenya’s a little bit shaky as he brushes his teeth – head aching from tiredness, but mind racing from the conversation he’d just had. He still doesn’t understand why Seryozha is so mad about the whole thing. Yes, Zhenya fucked up, leaving like he did (and don’t think it doesn’t weigh on him every time he stops to think). He fucked up and he’s going to make it right. He going’s to talk to Sid and they’re going to work it out, and everything will be okay again.
What any of that has to do with Seryozha, though, Zhenya doesn’t know. He hadn’t thought they were that close before he left – coworkers, sure, but not good friends. Well, Zhenya can deal with it once he’s had some proper sleep.
Still, he thinks as he strips down to go to bed, Seryozha had seemed very adamant about Sid needing Zhenya, and that seems promising. Zhenya hopes Sid hasn’t been unhappy while he’s been gone, wouldn’t wish that on him, but he knows Sid will be happier once they’re together again.
Tomorrow, Zhenya will go get his job back, and then he’ll go see Sid. Sid might still be a bit mad about the whole thing, but it won’t take long to make him see sense. He hadn’t been sure before, but he knows now that Sid is his forever girl. They were good together before and they can be like that again, but better this time. This time it’s forever.