Chapter Text
“I don't want you to go, Ben… I can't lose you as well," Rey sobbed, hating the fact that the one person she had actually let in after her parents death was now leaving her too. She couldn't understand how life could be so unfair. How could she possibly go on without him? He was everything to her. Her light in the darkness she called her life. She couldn’t help but feel she was bad luck, until Ben came along and changed everything for her.
"I love you, Rey. You won’t really ever lose me,” Ben replied softly with a crooked smile as he kissed Rey as though it would be the last time he would get to do so.
"But you're moving away to New York, it's not exactly a half hour drive away," Rey moaned softly as she held on to Ben with everything she had in her, wishing that he could stay with her forever but knowing they only had a few moments until he had to leave.
"We will be together again, Rey. You can't deny the inevitable," Ben said softly as he kissed Rey again, a small, betraying tear falling down his face as he did so.
"You seem so sure…" Rey replied as she broke the kiss, wondering what the future would hold for them both.
"Of course I'm sure. It's us, we're meant to be. I love you more than anything. I've loved you since the first day I met you when I was six years old."
"Ben, the first day you met me you tripped me up and threw a bucket of water over me. That doesn't exactly scream love," Rey laughed, thinking back to the first day that she had met Ben Solo.
She had been hesitant when her parents took her round to meet the new neighbours, as she didn't know what to expect. She remembered meeting a smiling Han and Leia, both of them excited that their boys would have another child to play with. She remembered being introduced to their son Poe who was the same age as her. He had shaken her hand politely and they instantly became friends as they went to go and play on the swings. It was then that Rey had noticed another boy run out of the large house. He was tall for his age with dark black hair and the most captivating brown eyes that Rey had ever seen. They reminded Rey of her puppy, Bailey’s eyes, who was her best friend and she instantly smiled over to him, wanting to be friends with him too.
Poe then called his brother over and introduced him to his new friend Rey. She could always remember how strangely Ben looked at her, like she was an alien or something. Rey had put her hand out to greet him the same way she had greeted his younger brother, but Ben had surprised her as he laughed in her face instead, pulling her arm and tripping her over. He ran over to the side of the garden and picked up the bucket of water he had prepared to throw over Poe earlier. Rey was trying her hardest to get back on her feet and not cry, she didn’t want to seem weak in front of the two boys she had just met. Rey still heard him laughing and looked up to see Ben running back over to her with a twinkle in his eye and before she even knew what was happening she was completely soaked. She had stood up angrily as she heard Ben laughing, he was now on the ground as he watched Rey storm away.
"Playground tactics, Rey… you know treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen? I had a plan all along," Ben replied as he laughed, thinking back to just how horrible he’d been as a young boy.
"Well you were certainly mean…"
"And it kept you keen. You always wanted me, Rey. Let’s be honest…” Ben winked as Rey rolled her eyes in return.
"If that's what you need to believe then fine. I remember our parents used to call us Chalk and Cheese. We were so different but we always just seemed to balance each other out. I guess it's always been that way," Rey smiled, thinking again about times when both of them were younger.
"I know. You were shy, polite and considerate whereas I was confident, adventurous and rather loud. I have no idea how I got stuck with you, Kenobi…" Ben scoffed jokingly.
"Ha, I was polite to everyone but you! After that day I met you I knew there was something special about you."
"Did you realise that before or after I tripped you up?" Ben laughed again as he held Rey closer.
"I have no idea why I agreed to be your girlfriend! You are just the same idiot you were twelve years ago!" Rey hit Ben on the chest, pretending she was in a mood with him.
"And you loved it twelve years ago, so what's the problem now?"
"The problem is you're leaving, Ben. When my parents died you promised me you would never leave me alone." Rey looked down as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She knew that she probably should have kept the mood light and continued joking, but he had to go now and she was finding it harder and harder to hide the fact that she was completely heartbroken.
"I know, Rey. I feel bad enough about leaving. But, I need to do this, okay? I need to get a proper job. You know I've always wanted to do this. It's a big break for me. Plus, once you finish school you can come out and join me. I'm doing this for us," Ben replied, the excitement radiating from his deep brown eyes.
"I know, I know. I just can't imagine not seeing you every day."
"Neither can I. Whenever I wake up in the morning you are the first person that I think about. I'm always counting down the hours till I can come and kiss you again. I know that this won't be easy. But, we can do it. We're strong enough."
"I know. I love you," Rey replied as she watched Ben pack the rest of his bags into his car. She tried her hardest not to cry as she watched him get ready to leave right in front of her. "Don't go, please, Ben," she sobbed suddenly, clutching onto him as he walked back over to her.
"You can't ask me that, Rey. You know I will never go if you ask me that," Ben replied holding Rey just as tightly in return.
"I know I'm being selfish. I'm sorry… I'm just going to miss you so much."
"I'll miss you even more, baby. But, we're forever and nothing is ever going to change that. We will make this work, Rey. I can't lose you," he said sadly in return.
"You promise?"
"I promise, Rey. Always," he replied as he leaned down to give her a sweet farewell kiss. His arms snaked around her body as he pulled her flesh into him. Rey’s arms pulled around his neck as she pushed him further into their kiss. His kisses always had a habit of driving her crazy; his tongue making magic with her own. She had no idea what she was going to do while he was away. But she could tell that nothing would ever be the same.
Ben pulled back slowly as he stared into Rey’s eyes.
"I love you, Rey," he said softly, another tear falling down his cheek.
"I love you too, Ben. I always will," Rey replied as her own tears matched his.
She watched as he placed one last chaste kiss to her forehead and jumped into his car. Her tears were blurring her vision of his car driving away, the last thing that she could see was the reflection of his brown eyes in the rear-view mirror and Rey couldn't escape this feeling that maybe this was goodbye.
Rey jumped up quickly from her sleep, angry that her subconscious had betrayed her for what felt like the billionth time. Rey was now twenty-three years old and the seventeen-year-old girl she had just dreamed about was long gone. She left along with a brown-eyed guy that had broken her heart.
Rey groaned as she lay back on her pillow, thinking about the time when this dream haunted her every night. She could remember all the promises that Ben Solo had made her. She could also remember the fact that he had broken every single one of them. Rey had never gotten over the fact that the person she loved more than life itself abandoned her. At least with her parents they didn't have a choice to leave, but Ben did. He had promised to be there for her forever, but she hadn't seen him in six years. That's a pretty short forever.
Rey looked at her clock and noticed it said 5.45am, she knew she would never get back to sleep now and didn't want to run the risk of sleeping in for her first day at work. She jumped out of bed and walked over to her en-suite, wanting to wash away the dream that forced its way into her mind the previous night. She hated the fact that she still dreamt about him. She wanted to forget him forever, but knew that was virtually impossible.
Rey went into the shower and washed herself as quickly as she could. She wanted to have time before having to be at work in case she had any problems on the way there. Once she was clean and had dried her hair, she excitedly pulled on her new outfit. She had a white, long sleeved shirt and a thigh-length black pencil skirt. Her hair had dried into her usual curls as she sprayed some hairspray to keep them in place. She quickly applied some light make-up and put on her stiletto heels. Looking in the mirror she wondered if it was too much, but then thought back to her interview and how the woman had been dressed. New York was different from her small town of Jakku and she had to get into that way of life if she wanted to succeed here.
She walked out of the bedroom and made her way down the hall to the kitchen. She loved her new apartment; it was everything she wanted and more.
"Have you gone mad?" Rey heard her roommate Poe shout from behind her. He was sitting on their couch with his new black suit on. He also had a new job he was starting today and like Rey he wanted to make a good first impression.
"Er… not that I know of why?" Rey asked as she started to pour herself some cereal.
"Just, I don't think I have ever seen you out of your bed before 10.00am," he laughed in return.
Poe and Rey were best friends, he had been there for her when no one else had. She knew that she was safe with him and that he would never leave her. Not like someone else she knew… he had saved her many years ago and she would be forever grateful to him. They’d been through so much together.
"Very funny, Poe. However, as you know I have a new job today and I wanted to make myself look fabulous!" she said sarcastically.
"Okay… and the real reason that you are up so early?" Poe asked as he raised his eyebrows. He knew Rey better than anyone did and he could tell when there was something up with her and always wanted to make sure that she was okay. She was like his sister and he was very protective over her.
"Well, Mr I Can Read Minds… I had the dream, again," Rey said softly as she looked down, not wanting to see Poe’s expression. She had thought that those dreams were long gone, as did he.
"About B-"
"Yes, about him," Rey interrupted, not wanting to hear his name out loud.
"I'm sorry. I guess I know why. I mean we are here, in New York. We know that he is in this city too, you know? Maybe it's just harder than you thought it would be."
Rey could see the sadness in Poe’s eyes as he spoke about his estranged brother.
"I'm sorry, Poe. I mean you lost him too. I know this must be hard for you as well. But, we had to leave Jakku and this was our best option. We can't avoid New York because of him. We have dreams too and he already took enough from us. We should have this," Rey replied as she walked over to sit next to Poe.
"I know, Rey. I can just never understand why he completely cut us off, why all he left was a letter saying not to contact him or look for him. That he was done. He loved us both so much… I know he did. It just doesn't seem like him." Poe always believed that there was another reason behind Ben’s disappearance. He could never understand how he could have done that to Rey. Everyone in Jakku knew how much Ben was in love with her. It was one of these intense connections that no one could ever break. To him it just never made sense.
"No, Poe. He left us. He didn't love us. You don't leave the people you love. He was selfish and probably couldn't wait to get away from that dead beat town. There was nothing keeping him there and there was nothing keeping us there either. We can make it here, Poe. I know we can." Rey ended the conversation at that as she walked over and began to eat her soggy cereal.
She noticed that Poe was about to say more, but gave him a warning glare that signalled he should keep his mouth shut. Rey had heard enough about Ben Solo today to last her a lifetime.
Every time she heard his name, her heart would beat a little faster. The broken pieces would shake a little before falling flat in the bundle he left them in. Not that it mattered, Ben Solo was as good as a stranger to her now.
Rey looked at the building in front of her and took a deep breath. She was standing in front of the largest PR firm in New York and she was shit scared. When she was invited to an interview with F.O.R.C.E enterprises, she couldn't believe it. It had recently become head of its sector and was the highest grossing PR firm around. Rey didn't believe that they would even give her a chance. When she had then received the call telling her she had the job she almost fainted. She was advised she started in two weeks and that was that.
Rey always believed that everything happened for a reason. She couldn't have passed on the opportunity. This was something she had always dreamed off and she was sick of everyone else around her getting what they wanted and leaving her behind. For once this was something for her and she was going to give it her best shot.
She walked into the large foyer and noticed all the different people walking around her. She felt like she was in a busy train station, people pushing and shoving past her. Everyone seemed like they were in a rush. She walked over to the reception, hoping that she wouldn't trip up in her heels. She was a complete klutz and was taking a massive risk even wearing these things.
"Rey Kenobi, I start my new job here today," Rey said quietly to the young man behind the desk in front of her. He looked down at his notepad, searching for her name.
"Ah, Miss Kenobi you're the new secretary for Armitage Hux, is that correct?"
"Yes, I am,” Rey replied proudly.
"Okay, well take the lift to the fifteenth floor and I will call Phasma and she'll meet you up there. You won't miss her; she is blonde, bossy and loud!" He grumbled as Rey walked over to the lift.
Finally the lift pinged at her floor and she couldn’t be more thankful as she had been wedged in between a small, smelly bad and a woman who Rey was sure had a small moustache. She quickly made her exit out the lift and looked around her.
"Rey?" She heard a loud voice shout. She looked round and noticed a tall, bouncy blonde walk over to her. She didn't even have to take two guesses as to who it was.
"Hi Rey, I'm Phasma and I’m so happy that you are here and I will actually have another female to talk to. I hang about with all these men so much I feel like I'm actually growing a penis!" Rey looked at her alarmed. "I'm not though, it's a joke."
"Yeah… well I think there would be a big problem if you did," Rey laughed, liking Phasma already.
"Yeah… anyway welcome to F.O.R.C.E! I'm sure you will love it here. I will show you to your desk then give you a quick tour around. Oh, then I will introduce you to your boss and show you what your duties will be. Everyone is really friendly here and you will fit in just fine. I'm sure of it," Phasma said quickly, grabbing Rey’s arm as she walked her over to her desk which was next to hers.
"We're desk buddies," Phasma smiled as she helped Rey set her stuff on her desk.
Phasma was a woman who embraced life to the fullest. She never did what she was told and she believed that she was always right. Her parents used to scold her about it but it never did her any harm. She was delighted that Rey was in her office and decided as soon as she saw her that she would be her new best friend.
"Great, it's good to have a friendly face. I'm not exactly from here."
"Oh, well I will need to show you around then! Lunch is at 1pm and I need to take you to this new sushi place just round the corner… It's amazing!"
Rey laughed as she shook her head in reply. She had never met someone who could talk so fast. She couldn't complain though because it was helping her nerves. Phasma was making her feel at ease and she was happy she could make a friend here this easily.
"Great, I love sushi!"
"Okay, it's a date. Now let me just get your folder that explains your basic duties." Phasma picked it up as she went to hand it to Rey. Both of them being too excited for their own good bumped hands as the papers fell to the ground.
"Shit, sorry ,Rey. I'm a complete klutz!" Phasma muttered as she started to pick the pieces of paper up.
"Join the club," Rey laughed in return as she began to help Phasma pick up the sheets of paper that were now all over the floor.
"Thank you, Rey. If I had a dollar for every time I made a mess in here…”
Rey picked up the final piece that had fallen under her desk, unaware that a familiar man was standing behind her, his eyes glued to her backside. Once Rey had retrieved finally retrieved it she tried to balance herself to get back up. But, unexpectedly, one of her heels caught on the side of the desk as she suddenly began to fall forward, Rey felt like it was happening in slow motion and could see herself moments away from smacking off the desk in front of her. The only thing that going through her mind was why the fuck she decided stilettos were a good idea.
But just before she could hit anything she felt a pair of warm, strong hands grab onto her hips and pull her up. She couldn't get over how familiar the touch felt, it awakened every nerve in her body and she suddenly felt like she could breathe again.
She turned around to thank whoever it was when she was smacked with the same brown eyes she would know anywhere. It was the eyes that she had seen in the rear-view mirror the day he left her. It was the eyes that had haunted her dreams and caused her nothing but pain.
It was the eyes of non-other than Ben Solo.
"Fuck!"