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A muffled voice breaks her away from her hypnagogic state or maybe it was the soft, smooth touch that gently caresses her cheek. She shrinks, closing her eyes, fearing it’s the same crazy nun waking her up only to inject her with medication that she claimed healed the mind.
Sleep was the only peace she had ever found in the locked up cell. Sweet dreams that involved a certain pink haired girl that made her miss the fragrance of lilacs, violets and lavender. She was all around her when she wasn’t really there. She even felt her touch as if she was on her skin. She inhales, that same scent that often clouded her senses, bring her back to reality.
Cheryl’s eyes flutter open as the hand moves to her hair, freeing her hair from those tight schoolyard pigtails. Her vision is blurry but she knows who it is. She’s in different clothes, the sense that she’s safe overcomes her.
“It’s me, baby. I’m here now,” Toni whispers when Cheryl buries herself deeper, breaking down upon remembering the night they shared soft silky sheets. The ghost feeling of Toni’s lips on hers before her world came crashing down again.
“They’re not here, Juliet, they can’t hurt you,” Toni brushes her hair away as she places a chaste kiss on her forehead.
“Toni?” Cheryl tugs on the girl’s jacket, her eyes look into the warm brown eyes that made her blood rush through her veins. Toni takes the jacket off, wrapping it around Cheryl as they lay there.
“They kept telling me that there was something wrong with me. That the way I think is wrong, that they were going to fix me,” Cheryl sobs, cuddling closer to Toni, as Toni draws patterns along the girl’s arm. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
Wet tears fall on her face and she realizes Toni is crying. No one’s ever seen Toni cry, not Sweet Pea nor Fangs, not even her parents as far as she can remember. Her hand cups Toni’s cheek making her stare directly at Cheryl.
“But it’s you, T.T. You’re the reason I held on to this dreadful life I live,” Cheryl whispers as if it was a delicate secret. “Thank you, for caring, for saving me, and for…seeing me for me.”
Toni smiles. “Anytime, Cheryl Bombshell.” Cheryl chuckles, already feeling on cloud 9. Cheryl’s stomach growls making them both giggle. The mood shifts from heavy to lighthearted in a matter of a second.
There is a mischievous twinkle in Cheryl’s eyes. The playful challenge is clear and Toni gladly accepts as she picks the girl up bridal style, racing towards the kitchen. They both giggle when Toni sets her down on the kitchen top counter, butterflies flutter in their stomachs.
“Hope you like pizza,” Toni announces, taking out the leftover pizza box. She slides the 4 slices into the microwave. She turns back around, sliding between Cheryl’s legs.
“In the meantime, have you ever danced?” Those doe-brown eyes look at her like the stars have all aligned making Cheryl pause before answering. “Like slow dancing?”
“If that’s what you’re shooting for,” Toni steps away, and Cheryl panics, self-doubt getting to her quick. Her eyebrows knitted in confusion as the pink haired girl pulls her phone out till a rhythmic tone reaches her ears.
Toni offers her hand, “I can show you, tonight?” Their hands brush each other’s before Toni clutches Cheryl’s, easing her off the counter.
Toni placed her hand on Cheryl’s back as Cheryl places one on her shoulder, letting the girl guide her through. Toni entwines their free hands. Together, they swayed to the music, their feet in perfect sync, matching the beating of their hearts.
“I’m finding ways to manipulate the feelin’ you’re goin’ through.”
As the song progresses, Cheryl feels finally at home, in the arms of the girl that keeps her warm. She finally sighs in contentment, a small smile forms on her lips and Cheryl realizes she’s crying yet again.
“Even though we’re going through it. And it makes you feel alone. Just know I would die for you.”
And with a long gaze into those brown eyes that looked into her soul, they were found leaning in, lips meeting in tender touch, washing away her pain.
Toni’s hand loosens and slips away from her grip, and cups her cheek instead. The hand on her back moves to her waist and draws her in closer deepening the kiss. As they part, Cheryl sees Toni’s eyes sparkle and lips curve up into a smile and couldn't help but smile back. The smile makes her melt like ice cream.
They come to a stop as the song drowns out. Toni moves away, taking the pizza slices out the microwave, setting them down on the counter. Toni gestures toward the slices, taking one for herself. Cheryl eats down her pizza slices like they are her last meal.
They starved her in that box cell, every time she got a bible verse wrong, every time she didn’t respond timidly. The worry flows away as Cheryl remembers she’s not there anymore. Away from hell, now in heaven with the angel that appeared in her dreams frequently.
“Time to call it a night?” Toni yawns and Cheryl thinks her heart couldn’t swoon anymore than it has already.
Cheryl nods, knowing she’ll finally sleep in peace. She’s not lonely anymore, especially in the night.
||
So they end up tangled together with the moon shining through the window as a silent promise that all her worries were forgotten.
Cheryl’s tucked into Toni, her arm wrapped around the girl’s midsection tightly, scared to let her go. As if she would fade away and she’d be back in that cold cell. Toni traces sweet nothings along the girl’s skin. The silence is broken as Cheryl speaks up.
“For once in my life, I’m happy,” Cheryl slides up from Toni’s chest so that’s she’s face to face with her, side by side. “Thank you, Toni Topaz.”
“Anything for my lady,” Toni repeats, the quote slipping off her tongue like a known saying. She caresses Cheryl’s cheek, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “I would do anything for you, just say whenever.”
Cheryl smiles softly, “Goodnight Toni.”
“Goodnight, Cher,” Toni replies, kissing Cheryl’s hand, the sensation that swells in her chest is unforgettable.
With a soft breath, Toni steals a kiss from the princess of her tale, wrapping Cheryl in her embrace that makes Cheryl feel so safe. Cheryl latches onto her like a teddy bear and they fall asleep with their soft snores traveling through the night.
This is kairosclerosis.
The moment when you realize
you’re happy