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Pearl waited on the couch with Amethyst, her eyes focused on Lion’s fluffy pink mane. The creature was laying on the carpet not too far away, occasionally letting out a lazy yawn.
She nervously—reflexively—twitched her fingers, then smoothed them against her lap, quelling the movement. Her eyes drifted to Amethyst next to her, laying upside down on the couch. The purple gem had fallen asleep not too long ago.
To her credit, they had been waiting quite some time for Steven and Garnet to return. Pearl estimated approximately three hours, twenty-four minutes, and thirty-seven… eight seconds. Her fingers twitched again, and she tightened her hands into relaxed fists in her lap.
When Steven first brought up his desire for the Crystal Gems to meet the Off-Colors—the name that he had given his Homeworld rebel friends—there had been quite a bit of discussion between them on the matter.
Amethyst had of course been eager to meet these gems since the moment Steven had first spoken about them. And who could blame her? Barring Jasper, her experiences with the majority of the gems she’d met recently had been overwhelmingly positive. Since Lapis Lazuli left Earth with the barn, Amethyst and Peridot had spent increasing amounts of time together. These last few weeks the green gem had been despondent at best, and catatonically depressed at her worst. Granted, there were moments where she seemed back to her old annoying self, but they were often overshadowed by her longing guilt over Lapis’ departure. Amethyst helped her cope with that as best she could. The quartz was also still occasionally giddy over thoughts of her “famethyst”. She and Peridot had even gone to visit the holes they’d emerged from in her Kindergarten. Yes, suffice to say, Amethyst was eager to meet more gems.
Pearl had voiced a few more concerns on the matter. While she certainly appreciated that these Off-Colors had helped Steven come back home to her, she was also highly aware that these new gems didn’t know who they were. Steven hadn’t told them he—and by proxy they—were Crystal Gems; all that remained of the rebellion on Earth, in fact. Pearl doubted there were many rebel sympathizers on Homeworld, even among groups of defective, deformed, and illegally fused gems. She also couldn’t be certain they would respond well to other gems. Steven and his friend were both human—well, half, in Steven’s case—which might have put these Off-Colors at ease. They’d been running and hiding from Homeworld gems for so long, Pearl doubted that their sudden arrival would be the most welcoming.
Garnet had taken Amethyst’s side, saying that she felt it would boost the other gems’ morale if they met a gem that actually lived peacefully on Earth. However, she did agree with Pearl in that the Crystal Gems shouldn’t overwhelm the Off-Colors.
So, it was decided that only one of them would go. And after a bit of discussion—and whining on Amethyst’s part—they agreed that Garnet would be their “ambassador”, along with Steven to help keep the peace.
Thus, the remaining members had been left to wait. Peridot hadn’t been part of the discussion much in the first place, only remaining long enough to hear the gist of what they were talking about, then returning to her tub. Amethyst had been eagerly waiting at first, until she grew bored and promptly decided to “catch some Z’s”, telling Pearl to wake her when they came back.
And Pearl… her fingers twisted imperceptibly against her palms. She hoped they were well.
Fortunately, the thought had only just drifted forward when Lion’s mane began to glow with a soft light, and Steven came tumbling out. Garnet appeared a second later, albeit a bit more gracefully than Steven.
“Weeee’re back!” Steven announced, jumping up and grinning brightly.
Amethyst awoke with a snort, simultaneously trying to sit up and roll over. The effect ended with her on the floor in a heap.
When Steven and Garnet came over, Pearl gave them a small smile. “Well, you both seem excited,” she said, observing Steven’s brilliant grin and Garnet’s smaller yet no-less-pleased smile.
When Amethyst finally righted herself, she exclaimed, “Don’t just stand there, tell us what happened!” She was practically vibrating with excitement.
“Oh man, Amethyst, it was so awesome! First, Garnet became a Steven so she could fit through Lars’ head, and everyone was surprised because there was two of me! Then she went around to everyone—Fluorite, Padparadscha, Rhodonite, and the Rutile twins—and talked to each of them. But they all thought she was making fun of them, because they’d never heard any compliments before.”
“What were they like?” Amethyst asked, looking over at Garnet.
The taller gem’s smile widened a bit further. “Nervous and uncomfortable, at first. Fluorite was magnificent; it was amazing she was able to be so comfortable in being herself, with how many gems she’s made of. Padparadscha was exquisite too; they are even rarer than regular Sapphires, and always so sweet. Rutile and Rutile were… I don’t quite know how to describe them; certainly one of a kind in the best way possible. And Rhodonite...” Garnet gave a sudden chuckle, and her gaze shifted to Pearl. “Ruby was excited to find out who you’d make if the two of you fused.”
“So what did you talk about?” Amethyst asked.
Steven continued to babble on, with Garnet adding her input here and there, but Pearl had stopped listening. Her breath had so very slightly hitched at the last of Garnet’s words, and her eyed indiscernibly widened at the implications.
Then, she was suddenly thrust back thousands of years, to that brief moment: a desperate act to give one last goodbye, send off a final recollection so that she might carry on—a particle of memory tossed hopelessly onto the winds, uncertain if it would even reach her sister.
That was it. The end. Pearl had long since mourned that it would be her last chance to ever share with another pearl. She had accepted it. There would be no more pearls ever again.
Of course, there were moments where she’d relapse into despair at the lack of the one outlet that every pearl had; it was what they all feared, and it was why they shared, even into their final moments. To never be forgotten—to live on through memories and songs and movements. Pearl had accepted her loss; she never stopped mourning it, but she had accepted it.
And now… Ruby was excited to find out who you’d make if the two of you fused.
There was another pearl on the ship. True, she was a fusion, but that hardly mattered because there was another pearl.
Without realizing it, Pearl’s fingers began making the tiniest of movements. Her eyelids drooped and lifted and twitched imperceptibly to accompany them. No one else seemed to notice.
Then a thought struck her and her breath hitched a second time that day; this time out of fear. It had been over ten thousand years since she’d been on Homeworld. Rose always insisted that gems did not—could not—change. And while that might have been true for many gems, pearls were different. They were mostly organic—new models were released every hundred cycles or so, last she knew. Of course pearls changed. The question was, how much?
Had they moved past gesture-speak? Was it truly forgotten, just like Pearl? Or had it possibly evolved, so much so that Pearl would be unable to understand what the other Pearl was saying. The thought was almost too much to bear, and it was only long-forgotten instincts that kept her from weeping openly in front of the others.
What was worse, what if she had changed too much. Pearl was vastly different now from who she’d been when Rose had spirited her away from Homeworld all those eons ago. What if she had forgotten gesture-speak and memory-passing. Could such a thing happen? Pearl was certain that she remembered it, but it had been millennia since she’d put the motions into practice. Perhaps she was only fooling herself into thinking that she could still do it. After all, she was so much more expressive now, and gesture-speak required subtlety and restraint. Pearl was hardly either of those anymore.
Still… she had to find out. Had to know for certain. Because if she and this other pearl could speak, then all of those thousands of years alone wouldn’t have been for nothing. And if they couldn’t…
Pearl couldn’t stand the thought.
Steven finished his retelling, grinning at both of them, and Pearl focused back in on the conversation.
“It sounds like the two of you had quite the time, then. When the next opportunity arises, I would quite like to meet them,” Pearl replied calmly, not showing a lick of the turmoil that rolled beneath her surface, or the slight sting that accompanied it. The nothing was practically a constant buzz in the back of her mind these days; a minor annoyance, but otherwise largely ignorable.
He gaped at her, “Wait, but… I thought you didn’t want to meet them, Pearl?” She supposed she understood his surprise. Of them all, Pearl was always the slowest to accept change; a bit ironic, given her previous thoughts on pearls and change.
“They seem like nice enough gems from your story, and Garnet apparently approves.”
Amethyst piped up then, “Oooh no. If we’re meeting them one-on-one, then I’m gonna be next. I’ve wanted to meet them the most.”
Pearl’s fingers briefly curled atop her knees, before she relaxed them. “That seems fair,” was her only reply. If she had waited five thousand years since last speaking with another pearl, then she could wait a bit longer.
Unfortunately, the next opportunity didn’t arrive for a few weeks, as there had been a sudden influx of corrupted gems popping up around human settlements, and the Crystal Gems had their hands full.
Eventually, a bit of respite came for them and Steven checked in with Lars to be sure that they weren’t fighting Emerald or some other foreign ship. All was well, and Amethyst had her turn meeting the Off-Colors.
When she and Steven returned, they both had a lot to say. Amethyst had gotten along well with all of them, though she and the Rutiles had bonded quite a bit more than the rest.
“—just like me, Pearl! They came out kinda funky, and I came out overcooked, and we both just immediately thought it was awesome to meet another gem that came out different.”
Peal smiled at her enthusiasm. “I’m glad you had fun with them.”
Amethyst nodded, her unruly mane of hair flying off in every direction behind her. “But I didn’t even tell you the best part,” she said, her grin growing wider by the second. “Steven and I brought pizza with us for Lars, and I was able to get Rue and Tia—”
“Those are the nicknames Amethyst gave the twins! They really seemed to like them,” piped up Steven.
“—to each eat a slice,” the Quartz continued, as though she hadn’t heard him. “They told me it was good, and I told them about how they had to make a digestive system for it and showed them how and everyone was pretty interested! Flo and Pads both had some too.” Amethyst let out a sharp laugh. “And the best best part was when I offered some to Rhodonite. The look on her face—I thought she was gonna hurl!”
Amethyst dissolved into a fit of giggles, and soon enough Steven joined in. Even Garnet managed a small smile at the recount of the story. Pearl forced herself to smile, though her lips were pressed together in a very tight light. She knew why Rhodonite refused to eat. It was the same reason she refused to eat.
Pearl felt a tremor go down her back at the thought, and her lips tightened further.
More time passed, and as it did, Pearl grew frustrated. It was always one or the other: either the Crystal Gems were busy dealing with corrupted gems and helping the humans prepare in case another Homeworld ship came to Beach City, or the Off-Colors were in the middle of space battles and sneaking their way through restricted sectors of Homeworld territory.
Pearl had been wrong before. Now that she was so close to another pearl, she didn’t want to wait one more second. Internally she cursed herself for easily deferring that second meeting to Amethyst. Outwardly, she only occasionally asked Steven to check on the space-faring gems when he had the time to spare.
Finally, finally, both teams seemed to have time to spare, and Pearl nearly thought she might burst at the news.
“Ready Pearl?” Steven asked, smiling eagerly at her as they approached Lion. The large animal eyed her unsurely—he and Pearl had never quite gotten on good terms—but Steven just patted the pink creature on his heart-shaped nose. “It’s alright Lion, Pearl just wants to meet the Off-Colors like Garnet and Amethyst did.”
Pearl met the animal’s gaze, unblinking. Finally, Lion let out a soft whuff and settled his head across his paws. Steven took her hand and led her into Lion’s mane.
The feeling of crossing through the dimensional gateway was… odd, to say the least. It felt somewhat like walking through a thin layer of water. Pearl idly wondered if that was what a living being might feel if it were stored in her subspace.
The first thing she noticed when she crossed into the pocket dimension was the pale pink acacia tree. Beneath it, a very familiar flag that brought forth a swarm of memories, both pleasant and not, a Mr. Universe t-shirt—those memories were decidedly less pleasant—and a single treasure chest. Pearl couldn’t recall if she’d seen it before. Somehow it looked vaguely familiar, and yet it also… didn’t.
Pearl frowned and began to move toward the tree, but Steven caught her arm. She looked at him and he shook his head, pointing toward another tree—a narra, if memory served—grown on a different little hill in the distance. Her frowned deepened, and she glanced back toward the acacia. She wanted to know what was there—what Rose held so special that she had to keep it hidden in the mane of a Lion.
Steven tugged her arm again, and she sighed. Well, she did want to see the other pearl. And perhaps there would be time to investigate on the way back. She hoped so, otherwise she doubted she would get the chance; Lion likely wouldn’t allow her back through his mane after this trip.
He led her to the other tree, then helped her to push her way out through the dimensional gateway. Her arm appeared first, followed shortly by the rest of her as she elegantly stepped out of the curly crop of hair on the now-pink human’s head.
“Ugh… well, at least you aren’t as heavy as Steven or those other two we—glck!” Lars cut off his complaint as Steven began rising up through his head, throwing him off balance in his chair.
Steven fell to the floor and let out a laugh as he stood, “Sorry Lars.” He smiled and turned to the rest of the ship, then held out his hand to indicate Pearl, “Everyone, this is Pearl! The third member of the original Crystal Gems!”
“Hello,” said one of the Rutiles.
“Nice to meet you,” added her sister.
Fluorite, who had already come up from the engine room since they had been pre-warned of Pearl and Steven’s arrival, smiled and said, “It is… good… to meet… another of Steven’s… friends.”
“Friends, I have had the most wonderful prediction. Steven will be coming back to us and accompanying him will be another new gem!”
To Steven’s surprise, Pearl didn’t say anything. He glanced at her, “Umm… Pearl? You okay?”
They pale gem paid him and the others no mind. Her eyes were locked on Rhodonite. Or, more specifically, they were locked on Rhodonite’s lower set of eyes.
Lars leaned down to Steven, “Uhh… is she alright? Didn’t hit her head on the trip over or anything?”
“I don’t think so…” Steven muttered. “Pearl?” he asked, reaching out to her.
Pearl’s eyelids lowered a fraction, so small no one would notice unless they knew what to look for.
Are you well, sister?
And then she waited, holding her breath.
A full minute passed, then Rhodonite’s lower set of eyes shifted, and her fingers twitched.
I am well.
Relief and agony and gratitude and longing and loss flooded Pearl all at once, and she crashed to her knees and let out a long, desperate sob. She clutched her shoulders, shaking as they were, and was unable to stop the tears from streaming down her face. She was not alone.
“Pearl,” Steven exclaimed, his eyes widening as he rushed to her, crouching down next to her. “Pearl? Pearl?! What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?”
Another heaving sob left her, and she curling into herself further. The spike of nothing that remained burned hot against her core.
A whirring sort of buzz filled the air, followed by a distinct pop.
“Pearl!” said a voice, familiar yet surprising to hear now all the same.
“Wait… a Ruby?” Steven asked, looking up.
Where Rhodonite was before stood a Ruby and another Pearl. The Ruby looked like most any other, its skin having just a bit more of a pinkish hue to its red pigment. The pearl was a very pale lilac in color with short, grayish-purple hair. The Ruby was clutching her arm.
“What happened? Is something wrong?” Ruby gasped, tightening her grip. Tears stung the corners of her eyes.
The other Pearl set her hand against Ruby’s and smiled. “I’m okay,” she said, her voice soft.
Ruby then grew confused. “I… I don’t understand. You said you never wanted to unfuse. What’s going on?”
She shook her head and gently pried Ruby’s hands from her arm. She then leaned down and pressed her lips against Ruby’s cheek, before walking over to Pearl.
Steven watched in confusion along with everyone else in the room. Ruby seemed completely at a loss. When the other Pearl approached, Steven managed to find some words, “Um… hi. We haven’t, uhh… officially met. I’m Steven.” He gave her a nervous smile.
She smiled back, then her gaze dropped to Pearl, still curled up on the floor, sobbing. Steven noticed, and he gulped. “Do you know what’s wrong with her? Can you help?”
The other Pearl didn’t respond, only crouched down so she was even with Pearl.
Behind her, Ruby clutched at her arms desperately. Everything was suddenly larger than it had been in a very long time, and she could suddenly see less, and whenever she moved she expected a second set of arms to move too, and they didn’t. Ruby began shaking, and tears poured down her face. She didn’t want to make a scene. Not when Pearl was clearly trying to help Steven’s Pearl. But everything felt wrong.
Steven noticed when Ruby began hyperventilating, and smoke poured from beneath her boots. He was about to say something, but someone else beat him to it.
“Oh no, it appears that Rhodonite will unfuse, and Ruby will be very upset by it,” Padparadscha said, her hands clasping.
That caught Pearl’s attention, and she looked down at the one crying on the floor. Pearl gently touched her wrist.
I am here.
She then straightened and turned to look at her partner. “Ruby,” she called softly, “please come here.”
Hearing Pearl’s voice seemed to help pull Ruby’s thoughts off her growing panic, and she immediately went to her beloved. “Pearl,” she whispered, “please, please, let’s fuse again.” She closed her eyes and breathed in. “I want to be Rhodonite. I don’t want to be alone.”
Steven stood away from the trio, unsure of what to do. Pearl was still crying, although her sobs had ebbed. And Ruby sounded so desperate. Even when Ruby and Sapphire were unfused, they never lost it like this. Not even when they’d been trapped in separate cells on Jasper’s ship. It unnerved him.
The other Pearl took her fingers from Pearl’s wrist, who let out a low keen at the loss of contact. The lilac-hued gem settled both of her hands against Ruby’s cheeks, her touch feather light. “We will, I promise we will. But Pearl needs to speak with me, and Rhodonite can’t help her.” Her eyes, starkly calm compared to Ruby’s panicked expression, bore into her partner’s face. “I’m not going anywhere. We won’t be separated. I’ll be right here the entire time. But please understand, I need to talk to Pearl.”
Ruby sniffled for a moment longer, then rubbed her eyes against her arm and her tears sizzled away. “Okay… can I hold your hand?”
Pearl hesitated… she would need her hands for gesture speak. “Can you hold me?”
Ruby seemed to like this idea quite a bit more, and immediately wrapped her arms around Pearl’s midsection and cuddled up against her.
Lars coughed loudly, disturbing the air that was—admittedly—already awkward enough. “Err… Fluorite, didn’t you have something to show me… and the twins and Padparadscha and Steven… down in the engines room.”
For all of her slowed movements and speech, Fluorite was quick to pick up on what he was saying. “Oh yes… we should all… go down… to the engines… room.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Rutile.
“Right behind you, in fact,” added Rutile.
The three of them quickly exited, and Lars strode over to Padparadscha and gently picked her up and carried her after them. From the stairs they could hear, “Oh, it seems as though we will all be leaving to the engines room to avoid an awkward situation. How uncomfortable.”
Steven hesitated, then began to follow the others. The lilac Pearl motioned for him to stop. “Stay,” she said. “Hold her like Ruby. Be very gentle; not too tight. It will help if you are here. You are familiar.”
He looked at her, then at Pearl, his expression uncertain. “Are you sure?” he asked. He didn’t want to leave, but he also wasn’t sure if he was going to make things worse.
“Yes.”
Rather than the confirmation, it was her tone of voice that made Steven sit down behind Pearl and wrap his arms around her. Given Rhodonite’s anxious and timid nature, Steven would have guessed that her Pearl half would have been the source of most of that. But the lilac gem was firm in her response. If anything, the Ruby seemed more prone to panic.
At Steven’s embrace, Pearl straightened and let out a small gasp. Once the Lilac Pearl was certain the other could see her face, she allowed her lids to droop indiscernibly. The smallest flick of her little finger allowed for emphasis where needed.
Are you well, sister?
Pearl’s response was slow, uncertain.
I am well. I was not well, and I was well.
Pearl didn’t realize just how much of a hole the lack of pearls in her life had left. Widening by a fraction each day. She only noticed the gaping chasm just now, when lilac pearl had allowed for the smallest trickle to begin filling it again. The nothing burned.
Pearl hesitated, Ruby’s arms around her providing a small comfort in her conflict. She wanted to know more, and gesture-speak, diverse as it was in many things, was still limited in most ways. While there could be forty-eight different ways to say My core is hollow, each with its own meaning and connotation, there were still many areas that gesture speak did not cover. That is why memory-passing was so vital to Pearl Culture.
But while being bestowed with a memory was a great honor, asking for one was considered shameful. Trust was integral for memory-passing, and one simply couldn’t just ask for the complete trust of another gem.
Would you take my memory for me? she offered with a deliberate half-blink.
Pearl stared at her, then gave her head a slight dip to the left.
I would be honored.
Pearl lay her hand down on the floor next to the other’s, their finger tips barely grazing. Slowly, a memory particle slipped from the lilac-hued hand to the white, and Pearl closed her eyes as the memory swept through her. The first to do so in over ten thousand years.
Pearl stood by silently as Morganite spoke with Yellow Diamond. Even over a holo-screen, the figure had an imposing presence about her.
“And you’re certain this planet is zoatox free? The last thing we need right now is more gems being infested.”
“The Ruby squadrons have terraformed the entire planet, with not a single trace. I’ve had the Peridots perform subterranean scans thirty-eight klicks down, which have revealed nothing but nutrient-rich soil. It will make an excellent Kindergarten,” Morganite replied. A fraction of a second later, she added, “My Diamond.”
Yellow Diamond sniffed. “See that it does, or it will be your gem on the line.” And with that, the transmission fizzled out.
Behind Morganite came an exaggerated sniff, followed by a nasally replica of Yellow Diamond’s voice. “See that it does, or it will be your gem on the line.”
Morganite cupped her hands over her mouth but was unable to prevent the snort of laughter from escaping. Turning, she caught sight of her Pearl, who stood completely still, save for the slight upward tremor of her lips. “Pearl,” Morganite squealed between laughs, “that is hardly appropriate.”
After a moment or two, Pearl dropped her façade. “If you wanted an appropriate Pearl, you wouldn’t have taken out my spike.”
The taller gem’s lips curled, and she gagged. “Please don’t even joke like that. I couldn’t leave that foul torture device in your gem.”
Which was true. Morganite had purchased Pearl the moment her model had become available in stores. Then, not even one quadrant later, Pearl had been sitting on an underground operating table, with an Orthoclase performing an illegal procedure on her as Morganite watched.
Given that she’d been placed in a pearl store within quadrants of her outer layer of nacre solidifying, Pearl had held the spike within her gem for ultimately less than even a single cycle. She could really hardly even recall the nothing.
“Besides,” Pearl said, drawing Morganite out of her memories, “you love my impressions of the Diamonds. Especially Blue.” At that, Pearl put on the most extreme look of despair she could manage and let out a low grating wail.
Morganite toppled against a chair into a fit of giggles, laying a hand over the gem that took the place where her nose would have normally been. “Oh Holy Core, Pearl, you’re going to make me crack one of these days.”
She then motioned for her Pearl to come closer, which she did, and picked her up and settled her within her lap. Morganite then cuddled her close, much to Pearl’s squawk of protest and joking struggles.
Morganite very much cared for her pearl. She was the most expressive one she’d ever owned. Morganite had tried to remove the spike from her previous pearl, but it had never had the desired effect. When the pearl had been shattered by a careless Jasper three cycles later, Morganite vowed that her next pearl would be brand new when the spike was removed.
After a few more useless struggled, Pearl resigned herself to being cuddled. “With the terraforming complete, will you be bringing the Rubies home and sending the Jaspers out?” she asked.
“Well, that is the next step when colonizing a planet, to deal with the local fauna. And the Peridots are already there, so preparations for a kindergarten should already be underway.”
Pearl allowed a small smile to cross her face, which Morganite took note of. “And why does that please you so much? Am I not enough for you?”
“I don’t like the Jaspers lingering around here, they stare,” Pearl replied, which was true enough. She hated the way they leered at her whenever Morganite took her through the lower levels of the sky tower.
Though, more than that was the fact that Ruby had been sent out with the others to the foreign planet, and when they came home, so would she. Right into Pearl’s waiting arms.
Morganite smiled and cuddled Pearl closer, “Well, I won’t let them or anything else get close enough to you to harm you. You’re my pearl.”
Pearl opened her eyes as the memory ended and looked up at her sister. A slight head-tilt accompanied by her forefinger brushing against her middle allowed her to ask:
It was a kind memory. Why that one?
Typically, Pearls did not ask the reasons behind the memories that were passed to them, only absorbed the information and moved on. But for the first memory Pearl had received in so long, it was vastly different from what she had expected.
A faint upward turn of the eyes portrayed amusement, and Pearl’s fingers whispered, So many of my memories involve her. The emphasis did not lie in the memory of Morganite, but rather in the Ruby holding her from behind. I wish to keep them for us. The slightest of smiles, then, In the future, with her consent, perhaps I will share.
Pearl blinked in understanding. There were memories of Rose that she would never give to another soul. She treasured those memories, and she was selfish, wanting them to die with her.
A twitch of movement, Do you miss her?
There was an ache in the pearl’s expression at the mention of Morganite, one that Pearl longed to help soothe. She thought that meant that perhaps Morganite was crueler than the memory portrayed, which was why the response surprised her.
Every day.
Pearl hesitated for a long while after that. Even in the memory, there was still a possessiveness about Morganite that all Pearl owners, regardless of their feelings toward the pearl, had in them. Even to her last moments, Pearl knew that Rose still held a possessiveness toward her. It was unfair, especially when she chose Greg, but it was there nonetheless.
The difference was that Pearl had loved Rose with all of her core. Through the memory, Pearl could tell that Ruby had already won her love. So where did that leave Morganite? It left Pearl confused.
I don’t understand. Why did you leave?
The answer came immediately, and it was accompanied by another memory. This one hadn’t been properly offered, but Pearl took it in anyway.
Love.
“A-Are you sure this is okay? Won’t we get in trouble?” Ruby asked, her pupils the size of pinpricks as she once more turned to face the door. It was in the same position it had been in when she last looked—less that ten seconds ago.
Pearl smiled and smoothed her hand through Ruby’s tightly wound curls, wiry against her nimble fingers. “As I said, Morganite is away on another planet at the moment, overseeing the progress of the kindergarten. The door is sealed, and only Morganite and I have the ability to open it. The only way that door is getting open is if Yellow Diamond herself walks through it.”
This only seemed to make Ruby tremble worse. “But what if she does!” she squeaked, her voice pitching twice as high.
Pearl gently took Ruby’s face in her hands and lightly pressed their noses together. This seemed to help soothe Ruby a fraction. “Relax. Yellow Diamond has no reason to be here, with Morganite away. We are alone and safe.” Pearl smiled and kissed Ruby’s nose, then pulled back. “I love you, even the way you worry, but I will say it certainly does reduce the amount of time we get to spend snuggling and kissing.”
Ruby’s face heated, quite literally, and she let her hands fall to Pearl’s waist. “Heh, sorry… I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” She reached out and lightly pressed her hand over the gem on Pearl’s chest. “Everyone is willing to shatter and replace Pearls so easily… but I don’t know what I would do without you.”
The two of them actually climbed up into Morganite’s rest pod and sat there for at least three quadrants, just cuddling together and kissing and laughing and whispering sweet nothings. Then Pearl finally sat up and said, “I have been practicing a new dance, for you only. It is finally finished. No one else has ever seen it.” Pearl suddenly became a bit shy as she asked, “Would you like me to dance for you?” her cheeks tinged a deeper shade of violet.
Ruby’s response was immediate, “Only if you want to.” She was always that way. Never once had she told, or even asked Pearl to do something for her. She always left the final decision up to Pearl, even if Pearl had been the one to offer. It was just one more way that Ruby showed she loved Pearl for Pearl, not because of her gem.
Pearl gave her beloved one more kiss, then pulled away and hopped down from the rest pod. She waited until Ruby had scooted up to the edge with her legs dangling over, before she began her dance. Pearl sang a sweet melody, woven with memories of love and joy and Ruby, and it swirled around the room as she danced. Her movements were light. Graceful. She moved languidly, but not quite like liquid. There was more of a purposeful flicker. Passionate. Like fire… like Ruby.
The red gem was enthralled. She did not blink once during the entire performance, and her core swelled. She could feel the emotion in the movements, and it astounded her. Did Pearl really love her so? How could a gem as beautiful as she possibly love Ruby that much, when she was such a simple, unimpressive gem. She was sure there was nothing that marked her as different from any other Ruby out there, and yet Pearl loved her. It was wonderfully impossible.
By the time Pearl had finished, Ruby was crying.
Pearl beckoned to her. “Come dance with me,” she trilled.
Ruby froze. After a moment, she let out a nervous laugh, tears still falling down her face, “Oh, hah, I… I don’t know, P-Pearl. I’m no where near as g-good as you. In fact, I’m probably really bad at it.”
“I am certain you will be wonderful,” she replied. Her voice dropped to a whisper, and her words came out uncertain. “Besides… I would really like to dance with you, Ruby.”
Ruby could not refuse her—she could never refuse her. She hopped down from the rest pod and landed on shaking feet. It felt like led had clamped around her ankles and zoatoxes were stinging at her gem, making her stomach ache. And yet she forced herself to move closer to Pearl, until she was finally within arm’s reach.
Pearl guided Ruby’s hand to her shoulder, then the other. When Pearl’s arms wrapped around Ruby’s waist, pulling them close, Ruby’s nerves sparked and her feet grew hot. “P-Pearl, I d-don’t think…”
“It’s okay,” Pearl whispered, pressing her forehead to Ruby’s. “I’m here, and I will help you.” She slowly began swaying them in a circle, and Ruby began to panic. Her feet started smoking, and she grew stiff in Pearl’s arms.
Pearl froze. “We will stop if you want,” Pearl said slowly, deliberately trying to keep her voice neutral. Ruby knew her too well though; she could hear the hurt.
Gulping, Ruby shook her head. “N-No, let’s keep going. I… I want to try.” Which was true. Despite all of her nerves, she wanted to dance with Pearl. She wanted it more than anything.
The gleaming smile Pearl gave her was breathtaking, and worth every iota of anxiety she was now facing. “Okay, I will guide you.”
They danced for a few minutes more, with Ruby growing hotter and hotter. She stumbled often and kept glancing down at her feet. Ever other step had her foot on top of Pearl’s, with Ruby jolting back and gasping hurried apologies.
“Ruby,” Pearl said slowly, and waited to continue until Ruby looked up at her. She held Ruby’s gaze, and Ruby found herself unable to look away. Their movements began to even out. “Focus only on me. On my face.” Pearl smiled, and Ruby began to step in time with her subconsciously. Every time Pearl smiled, it took Ruby’s breath away. It was a smile reserved only for her, and that made Ruby feel as though she shone brighter than any diamond.
“Close your eyes,” Pearl whispered, and Ruby did so. “Listen only to my voice.” Ruby was certain that even Diamond Core’s voice must have been scratchy and painful on the ears when compared with Pearl’s lilting melody. Pearl began to sing, a different, calmer tune this time. It still flickered, but it was muted. No longer a fire. This was embers in a hearth. Home. And yet… it still spoke of Ruby.
With a start, Ruby realized that she was Pearl’s home.
There was a flash of light, and before either knew what had happened, they were gone, and she was here.
It... They… She looked down at herself. A thick arm clutched at the gem in her chest, while thin fingers gently traced the gem in her stomach. The other hands held onto each other tightly, like a life-line.
“I’m…” she began.
“Disgusting,” came a voice from behind her.
Rhodonite whirled, and before she had even fully turned around, she had split. Pearl stood protectively in front of her Ruby.
Morganite was at the door, her face showing nothing but contempt and cold fury. “You!” she snarled, pointing her finger at the Ruby cowering behind Pearl. “YOU! YOU’VE CORRUPTED MY PEARL!” she screeched.
Ruby tried to crawl out from behind Pearl, but the slender gem held her back. “Please don’t hurt her,” Ruby begged, still trying to move past her partner.
“I will have you shattered for this, you filthy little Ruby!”
“NO!” Pearl screeched and threw herself at Morganites feet. For the first time since she had lost her spike, Pearl groveled before her owner. “Please,” she sobbed. “Please shatter me. Kill me, but please don’t hurt her. Please. If you’ve ever cared even the slightest about me, you will kill me and leave her alone.”
All of the hatred and anger melted from Morganite’s face, replaced by a pained expression. It was gone in an instant. “You would give your life for a Ruby?” Morganite asked. In any other Pearl, it would be expected to give their life for a real gem. But Pearl had never known a spike. She didn’t feel obliged to throw herself away for higher gems.
“Without question,” Pearl whispered, tears streaming down her face.
The pained look returned to Morganite’s face. “There are thousands of her. She is just a ruby.”
A sob tore through Pearl’s throat. “There are hundreds of thousands of me.” Pearl looked up at Morganite through streaming tears. “I am just a Pearl.”
The upper-class gem froze, then reached out to touch her face. “You’re my Pearl.”
Pearl shook her head. “To you, I will always be property.” She turned and stared at Ruby, and her voice filled with a warmth Morganite had never heard before in her life. “To me, she is everything.”
Ruby stared at Pearl in wonder. Despite the fact that they would likely both be shattered in moments, all of Ruby’s panic left her. She loved Pearl, and if it came to it, she would die with Pearl. One of them couldn’t survive without the other.
“Get out.”
The smaller gems froze, then looked up at Morganite. The taller gem had eyes only for Pearl. Tears dripped down her cheeks and curled around the setting of her gem, pooling just above her lip. “I said get out. And if I every see either of your faces again, I will SHATTER YOU!”
More tears fell down her face. These were not the pain-filled tears of loss. Rather, they were a mix of pure joy, and utter devastation.
Her fingers flicked.
I am so sorry. The gesture was so rarely used, but if anything deserved her sympathy, it was this.
Thank you, came the tilt of the head response. It is both my most wonderful, and my most terrible.
Pearl knew this to be true. She could feel the agony that Pearl had felt when Morganite sent her away. It truly was worse than being sent to be processed, because it meant that Morganite had cared. Pearl had cared too. But because of the system set in place by the Diamond Authority, and because of their views on fusion, both Pearl and Morganite had lost something precious. Something that could never be regained.
Did you ever see her again?
Once, as me. Once again, the emphasis showed that Pearl was not talking about herself, but Rhodonite. Many orbits later. She seemed filled with sorrow. Pearl’s fingers shook slightly on the last word, and she clasped one of her hands over Ruby’s.
Pearl mulled this over for a long time. Neither of them spoke during this. Eventually, Pearl gave her sister a slow half-blink.
Would you take my memories for me?
Pearl moved the hand that was not entwined with Ruby’s out, then hesitated.
Memories?
Fingers twisted to form words.
I have not spoken in five-thousand years. There is much I have to say.
Pearl hesitated for a moment longer, then laid her hand flat on the smooth surface of the ship’s floor. Particle after particle seeped into her fingers.
Steven remained silent throughout the exchange. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on. At first, the lilac Pearl and Pearl had just sat on the floor in silence. He was going to ask if they were going to actually talk, but the words died on his tongue when he felt Pearl relax beneath him.
That was the first sign, the second came when Pearl stopped crying. He wasn’t sure what was going on, because as far as he could tell, they were just sitting in silence.
Did Pearl have some sort of mind-reading powers that she’d never told him about? Because if she did, that was totally unfair! After all, she knew about all of his powers.
Then they both did something kind of funny, where they set their hands down on the floor together. Not really touching, but close enough to be practically touching. Seconds later Steven felt Pearl stiffen under his arms, and the breath in her lungs became slightly labored. It was so small though, he probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been holding her. Thinking it was him, he loosened his arms, but nothing changed.
He frowned and looked at the other Pearl, but she hadn’t moved her eyes from Pearl’s face. And she was smiling.
Steven then looked to Ruby to help. Her grip on the lilac pearl was much tighter than his, and she had her eyes squeezed firmly shut. She was mumbling something under her breath.
Blinking, he leaned in as close as he could without disturbing Pearl, until he could make out what the Ruby was saying.
“She’s here. It’s okay. She won’t leave. She’s here. No one will take her. She’s here. She won’t be shattered.” Her grip tightened on the last word, and Steven sat back, still unnerved by the Ruby.
He had thought that if he ever got the chance to see Rhodonite unfused, the gems that made her would be a bit steadier and less nervous. Instead it seemed like the pearl helped to tone down Ruby’s anxiety.
No wonder Ruby wanted to be Rhodonite so badly. If he were that anxious all the time, he’d want to be someone else too.
“Hey,” he whispered, trying to be quiet enough that he wouldn’t disturb whatever mind-mojo the pearls had going on. “You okay, Ruby?”
At the sound of her name Ruby’s eyes shot open and she jerked, pulling Pearl to her body reflexively. Her eyes found his face, and she let out a breath. Even now, her shoulders shook against Pearl’s slight frame. “Oh, um… y-yeah I’m f…” Ruby began, then trailed off. Her eyes flickered to Pearl’s face, then she squeezed them shut and shook her head. “N-No, that’s a lie, I’m not fine.”
“Why not?” Steven asked. When he was panicking, talking often helped to calm him down.
“We havened unfused in… in I don’t know how many orbits! Not since M-Morganite replaced us.” Ruby visibly flinched when she said the gem’s name.
“Well, what usually helps you calm down?”
Ruby whimpered. “Pearl.”
Steven smiled his most reassuring smile. “I think she’s a little busy right now. Is there anything or anyone else that can help calm you down?”
Ruby fell silent as she thought, which Steven was happy about. At least she was trying to think of alternatives, rather than just saying only Pearl could help her.
“Sometimes…” she began, then clamped her mouth shut.
“Sometimes?” Steven probed.
Ruby sighed, “Sometimes Padparadscha helps Rhodonite feel better and calm down.” The small gem shivered, then added, “I’m not Rhodonite, but… it’s all I can think of.”
Steven nodded, “That’s good though. Do you want to go downstairs and see her?”
In response, Ruby tightened her grip on Pearl and shook her head vehemently.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay!” Steven said, trying to sooth her before she began freaking out again. “We don’t have to leave. We can stay right here with our Pearls.”
“She’s not my Pearl.”
The response was so sudden and deadpan that Steven wasn’t sure he’d heard right.
“Uh, sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”
“She’s not my Pearl,” Ruby insisted.
Steven scrunched up his face. He wasn’t sure what she was talking abou—
A vague memory of Peridot commenting on Pearl’s appearance and ordering her around crossed his mind, and he gasped. “Oh no no, I didn’t mean it like that, Ruby! I just meant, you know, they’re our friends, and we care about them.”
“R-Right, sorry,” Ruby said, her demeanor instantly returning to the timid state she’d been in before. “Sorry,” she repeated, “it’s just… that’s a sore subject.”
He knew he shouldn’t ask, but he had been really curious after what Peridot had said back then. Steven didn’t want to ask Pearl though… it didn’t seem right.
“Are pearls really made to be servants on Homeworld?”
Ruby snorted. “Servants? No. Servants get to go do what they want at the end of the day when their masters are done with them. Pearls are property.” She spat out the last word like she had tasted something foul.
“Property?” Steven asked, confused. “What, like… like…” he cast around for an example, and his eyes fell on Lars’ perch. “Like a chair?”
Her face contorted, and she said, “Pearls have a lot more to them than a chair, but yes, on Homeworld, most gems consider them with the same amount of emotion or care that they would a chair.”
“I don’t understand.”
Ruby pressed her face into Pearl’s back, and she sighed. “Be glad that you don’t.”
She seemed to be closing down again, but at least she wasn’t panicking this time, so Steven supposed that was a step in the right direction.
He genuinely couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that gems treated other gems like… things. It didn’t make sense.
Steven held Pearl a bit closer to his chest. He hated the thought that at some time in her life, she was treated like a chair. Like a thing. “Ruby?” he asked, not really expecting a response.
“Hmm?”
He hesitated, then, “What’s it like for gems on Homeworld? I didn’t get to see very much of it. Just the trial and then the caves…”
There was no reply. Steven looked over, only to see Ruby’s expression contorting, and her lips moving wordlessly. He sighed. “Never mind. I don’t want to stress you out. Forget I asked.”
“No, it’s fine,” Ruby said, her voice soft. “Talking… talking is helping. I’m just not really sure how to answer. Didn’t your gem friends ever tell you about it?”
“Kinda. But none of them really like to talk about it much. What I know I’ve mostly just pieced together, and I could be… I probably am wrong on a lot of it.”
Ruby breathed in slowly, trying to steady herself. After a moment, she looked up at him. “What do you want to know?”
“Well…” he began. Steven wasn’t really sure where to begin. He wanted to know everything he could about Homeworld. “How about we start off small? What’s it like for you—I mean, for Rubies?”
“It’s… manageable?” was her uncertain reply. “Rubies are the most common gem—excluding Pearls, but most of the time they aren’t counted. We’re made to be guards and terraform other potential colonies and territories for Homeworld. We’re also the lowest caste of gems, so we often live in these…” she paused and mouthed a few words. One of her hands pulled away from Pearl’s waist and she gestured with it. “They aren’t really buildings, more like… relocatable living spaces? Rest pods are set into rows, and up to five Rubies are assigned to one. We take turns. But there’s so many of us, even with the rotating schedules, we’re often left without things to do. That’s how riots or brawls start. So a lot of us are just sent off-world as often as possible to keep the numbers smaller.”
With each passing word, Steven’s brows became more furrowed. It sounded terrible to him, these conditions. “What about…” he frowned. He recalled Garnet’s story about how she came to be. “Sapphires? What are they like on Homeworld?”
“I… err, well, I’ve never really met or seen much of Sapphires before Padparadscha. I just know they live in these underground… uhh, things. I forget the name for them. And they hardly ever leave them. When they have to, its always in groups and they have to wear these hood things?”
Steven blinked. “Hood things?” He’d never seen Sapphire wearing a hood; neither she nor Garnet had ever even expressed any interest in one.
“Yea. It uh… it makes it so they can’t see anything except what’s in front of them. Something about not messing with their future vision,” Ruby replied. She scratched her head and added, “I don’t really know a lot about it. You could probably ask Padparadscha.”
He nodded. “What about Amethysts or Jaspers? They’re all Quartzes, so… soldiers, right?”
Ruby nodded. “That’s pretty much it. They just do soldier stuff or stay in their barracks.” The gem blinked, then tilted her head. “Huh…”
Taking notice of her puzzled expression, Steven asked, “What’s up?”
“It’s just… I don’t hate them?” she said, confusion thick in her voice.
Now it was Steven’s turn to be bewildered. “What do you mean?”
“Well, Pearl hates Jaspers, but she would never tell me why. Rhodonite… she isn’t very fond of them either. They stress her out and make her more nervous than most gems, which says a lot. But I… I’ve never had a reason to mind them. And I don’t? It’s confusing… it’s been a really long time since I’ve been unfused.” Both of her arms then snapped back around Pearls waist, and she sighed. “I really don’t like it.”
Before Steven could comfort her, the lilac pearl suddenly gasped and jerked back. If it wasn’t for Ruby’s steady hold, she would have likely toppled over.
“Agh, Pearl! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Ruby gasped, her hands reaching protectively toward Pearl’s gem. They clasped over her chest, and Pearl’s hands fell to cover them, but her eyes were locked on Pearl, who had straightened against Steven’s grip.
“You’re her,” the lilac Pearl whispered, staring intently at Pearl.
At this, both Steven and Ruby grew confused. Thankfully, Pearl seemed to have gotten over what was bothering her earlier, and she asked, “What do you mean?”
Steven dropped his arms and raised his hand. “I’m confused too. What’s going on?” He looked up at Pearl. “Are you okay now? What happened?”
She smiled at him. “Yes, Steven. I’m sorry I scared you before. I didn’t know I would react like that.”
“But what happened?” he insisted.
Pearl shook her head. “I was just overwhelmed. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen another Pearl. It was… very welcome.”
That reminded him of something. “Do you have telepathy?”
She blinked. “Wha...?”
“You know, mind-reading? Pearl said she was going to talk to you, but you guys never said a word. Then you stopped crying and now you’re better? Did you talk to each other through your minds?”
A surprised laugh escaped her, and she gave him an unexpected hug, which he immediately returned. “Oh Steven. No, I don’t have telepathy.” She pulled back and smiled at him. “Pearl was… she was just able to help me feel better.” Pearl pulled her hands back from his shoulders, and her fingers fluttered a few times.
He still didn’t understand, but Steven guessed Pearl either didn’t want to tell him or couldn’t, which he supposed was okay. As long as she was feeling better.
“Pearl?”
Steven and Pearl looked over at Ruby, but she was looking up at her partner. Lilac Pearl hadn’t moved her eyes from Pearl.
Pearl found her eyelids drooping, and her forefinger fluttered with concern.
Are you well?
Without warning, the lilac Pearl reached up to her gem and withdrew an object from its subspace.
It was just a piece of cloth. No bigger than a handkerchief, it was a pale blue in color. There was no embroidery or any other markings to designate it as being special. She held it out, and Pearl hesitantly took it into her hands.
Immediately she was surrounded by song. Hundreds of melodies wove in and out of each other, creating a beautiful symphony of sound. Each note carried a new voice, and each voice spoke directly to her.
Where are you, sister?
When will we see you, sister?
We hope you are well, sister.
We remember you, sister.
We know what you did for us, sister.
We know how you saved us, sister.
We miss you.
The Pearl Who Belonged To No One .
For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, tears fell down Pearl’s face, and without warning her sister rushed forward and slammed into her, holding her in a tight embrace. Pearl did not hesitate to return it. Her fingers were a gently yet continuous movement, even though the lilac Pearl could not see her words.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
When she spoke into Pearl’s ear, her voice was soft enough that Steven and Ruby, close as they were, would still be unable to hear. “All of us carry that song with us, woven into whatever we can manage, in case you came back to us. We knew you were Gone, but that never held us from hoping. I never thought it would be me…” her voice trailed off, and she closed her eyes.
She finally pulled away from Pearl, and her eyes shifted just enough.
We miss you.
Pearl laughed again and held the cloth close, listening to the song. When it had reached its end, she stored it in her own subspace.
“Thank you.”
No matter what Steven tried, Pearl still wouldn’t explain what had happened on the ship.
Pretty much right after she’d stored the cloth away, Rhodonite had fused again. Together, they called the other Off-Colors back up. It was incredibly awkward at first, with no one really sure how to break through the tension that had clouded the air after Pearl’s initial freak out. Finally, Steven suggested a do-over, and the others agreed.
He and Pearl had climbed back into Lars’ head, only to come back out second later.
The introductions went much better the second time around. Pearl was able to get along with all of the Off-Colors, even Lars! They stayed for a while longer so that the gems could properly get to know each other, though Steven still caught Pearl occasionally looking over at Rhodonite from the corner of her eyes. Likewise, he was certain that her lower set of eyes never left Pearl the entire time they were there.
Eventually they came back to the beach house, and Amethyst was there wanting to know everything that had happened. Steven had been hesitant, of course, not sure how much Pearl wanted to tell the others.
It was a good thing he did, too, because Pearl just said that they had all had a good time and just chatted about how they were all doing in general. Even Garnet believed her. Steven wasn’t sure if he liked lying to the other gems, but he got over it because it wasn’t really his secret to tell. After all, he still felt like he and Ruby had been intruding on what should have probably been a private moment between Pearl and Pearl.
It was later, after Garnet and Amethyst had gone into the temple and Steven was just climbing into bed for the night, that Pearl found him.
She smoothed the sheets over him and sat down on the mattress beside him. Steven was buzzing with questions, but he figured she should probably speak first.
“Steven,” Pearl began, “thank you for what you did today.”
He rubbed the back of his head. “Aww, it was nothing Pearl. After all, Garnet and Amethyst already met the Off-Colors, so it was only fair you got to too.”
Pearl shook her head. “Not just that. Thank you for not telling the others what happened on the ship, and… thank you, for being there with me. For holding me.” She closed her eyes and released a slow breath. “Knowing you were there really did help.”
“Really?” he asked. “I didn’t feel like I was doing much.”
She smiled and smoothed his curls back from his forehead. “Trust me, you were.”
He wanted to ask what had happened, and how the other Pearl had helped her when she was upset. But something made the words die on his tongue.
There was a sense of peace sparkling within her eyes that he had never seen before. A calmness. Usually, Pearl always had just a hint of anxiety and something else—loneliness maybe?—hidden behind her gaze. It was gone now.
He smiled back at her. “Thanks Pearl. I’m glad you’re happy.”
She nodded. “Goodnight Steven.”
Yawning, he rolled over and closed his eyes. “Love you, Pearl.”
She stood from the bed. “I love you too, Steven.”
Pearl watched him until she was certain he was asleep.
Alone, in her section of the temple, Pearl stood on one of her waterfall platforms and withdrew the piece of cloth woven with song from her subspace. Immediately a melody flowed through the room around her.
It was incredible to think that Pearl Culture had in fact evolved since she’d last been on Homeworld. Song-weaving hadn’t existed before she’d come to Earth. Truly, it astounded her.
Pearl began to dance to the song, and the water rippled beneath her feet. The voices of her sisters laced together, in and out of the threads of the cloth. They danced with her and propelled her forward as she stepped in time with them. Tears trickled down her cheeks, dripping to the waters and building more ripples, but Pearl paid them no mind.
For the first time in what felt like forever, she was completely whole.
Pearl was happy.