Chapter Text
Personal Log- Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris
My leg is broken in three places, I've cracked a few ribs and I'm bruised and burned all over. To sum it up, I feel like shit.
I would have used the regenerator but unfortunately I drained its batteries whilst tending to Chako-the Commanders wounds. Didn't want him to feel uncomfortable just because I screwed up.
Jupp, it's true, I, Tom Paris, screwed up again and managed to crash our shuttle.
It started as a routine misson. Oh boy, I was so disappointed to be assigned together with Chakota- the Commander. Shit, I need to stop calling him Chakotay. He'll straight up kill me if he ever hears it. Luckily he's asleep right now. He doesn't know that I'm hurt. He wouldn't care anyways. Why should he. I'm just scum to him and he always makes sure I know.
So where was I, right. We were assigned to go on a routine mission to harvest some Dilithium Crystals. It was supposed to be a milk run but fate decided otherwise. So did the ion storms that caused our sensors to fail. I was flying blindly whilst listening to the Commanders bitter remarks about my flying.
Then all of the sudden our shuttle took a hit and the helm exploded in front of me.
Sharp metal shrapnels pierced my body and I registered blood dripping down my head.
Luckily, the Commander only got a few scratches.
I was struggling with the remaining controls, using every trick I'd ever learned. In the end I managed to get us down in one piece. Unfortunately it was a pretty rough landing.
When the shuttle came to a halt I looked around and noted that the Commander was unconscious so I dragged out the medkit and scanned his injuries.
He had suffered a pretty nasty concussion and had a few scratches. I used the regenerator to fix the scratches first and then focussed on the concussion.
I gave him a few painkillers and another hypospray.
After I was satisfied that he was properly healed, I scanned myself. I was hurt in so many different places. I set to heal myself when I realised that I had inadvertently drained the whole power of the regenerator whilst tending to the Commander. Great. I took some painkillers to ease the pain and set on repairing the necessary stations.
It took me a few hours but I managed to stabilise the life support systems and the environmental controls. The pain was unbearable by the time I was finished.
That's when the Commander woke up. He looked around, fixed me with an icy glare and congratulated me on failing again.
'' Well done, Paris. You've proven yet again how incompetent you are, scumbag. I honestly expected better but once a fuck up always a fuck up.“
I couldn't believe that he was blaming me but I couldn't muster the strenght to protest.
Instead I hung my head, stood still and accepted all the insults he threw at me. I could feel my heart breaking by the time he was finished.
I looked up at him and saw the look of hate and mistrust and I sighed in despair. After all I had done for him and for the crew he still saw me as the exendable traitor.
Some things would never change.
That was three days ago. We haven't talked much since. He seems to avoid me and I can't blame him. I've been getting worse. I managed to get blood poisoning and one of the cuts got infected pretty bad. My head aches and I'm running a fever. I'm slowly dying. I haven't told the Commander though, wouldn't want to disappoint him again. He wouldn't care anyways.
This is it, I guess. This is the last log entry of Tom Paris- Fuck Up Extraordinaire.