Chapter 1: Labels
Summary:
Sans/(Nonbinary) Frisk
Sans and Frisk go for a walk in the park. It wasn't the best walk Frisk had ever gone on, but Sans always knows how to make his human feel better.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Frisk walked through the park with one arm around Sans’ shoulders and the other holding a cone of Butterscotch-Cinnamon Nice Cream. It had been Frisk’s idea, of course, and they didn’t mind admitting that it had been a very good one. It had apparently been selling well, too.
Love yourself! I love you! the nice cream wrapper informed them. Frisk smiled as Sans leaned his head on their shoulder, looking up at them goofily.
“you got some nice cream on your cheek there, buddy,” Sans smirked before giving them a playful lick on the cheek with a conjured blue tongue. He nuzzled back into their shoulder.
“I thought I was dating a skeleton, not a cat-monster,” Frisk chuckled, throwing their nice cream wrapper in a nearby trash can.
“mrow,” Sans said, grinning. “i’ve had you fooled this entire time. papyrus isn’t a skeleton either, he’s a dog.”
“The more you know,” Frisk giggled, pulling Sans a little closer. Sans didn’t resist, perfectly happy to get lost in the human’s warm, oversized striped sweater. It was a fashion choice Sans was fairly certain they were never going to change, considering they’d celebrated both their nineteenth birthday and their three-month dating anniversary last week and they still wore practically the same clothes as when he met them. Today’s sweater was pink and baby blue.
“Damn,” someone said from a nearby park bench before whistling lewdly. “What’s a fine-lookin’ girl like you doin’ runnin’ around with some monster bozo like that?” It was a man in a sweaty tank top with a buzz-cut, leaning across the back of the bench with a cocky smile. “Why don’t you come on over here, baby? I got some heavy equipment that freak show don’t know how to operate.” He stood up and hooked a thumb over his waistband.
Frisk gave him a completely unamused glare while Sans snorted, completely amused. “Not a girl,” Frisk said as they continued walking.
The man’s cocky grin fell. “Aw, what the hell? You some kinda freakshow homo monster-banger?”
“Not a boy,” Frisk said, not looking back. Sans slunk an arm around them and started rubbing their back slowly.
The man looked bewildered. “Then what the hell are you?”
Sans could see Frisk clench their free hand up into a fist, looking at the ground ashamedly. He resisted the urge to look back and give the man an ugly glare and instead smiled up at Frisk.
“hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly. They looked back at him. “come on. he’s not worth the effort.”
“Whatever, I’m done with this,” the man scoffed, turning to walk in the opposite direction. Several people in the vicinity laughed a little when he fell flat on his face onto the concrete sidewalk - his shoelaces were tied together.
“Sans,” Frisk warned playfully, though they couldn’t help but laugh a little themself.
“what? it ain’t my fault the guy can’t tie his own shoes,” Sans said slyly, continuing to rub Frisk’s back until they got back to the new apartment the skeleton brothers were staying in. Sans’ smile faded when he looked up to see Frisk wasn’t wearing one. The human never had a really big smile to begin with, but Sans knew they were content when the corners of their mouth were tilted up. They were tilted down this time.
“hey,” he said softly. “you okay?”
Frisk glanced away. “Labels are stupid,” they said, even quieter.
“yeah, i know,” Sans sighed, wrapping his arms around them completely and nuzzling into their chest. “you know the people that love you don’t care about them, right? you’ve always just been frisk to us, and you always will be. the cutest, snuggliest human on the whole surface.”
Sans was glad to see he’d pulled a smile out of the human. “I know, I know. And I’m dating the dorkiest monster in the entire Underground,” they said.
Sans grinned. “you and i both know i’m the sexiest dork around,” he said, waggling his bone-brows like the complete and utter dork that he was.
“Those two words cancel each other out,” Frisk countered with mock-seriousness.
“so that means you’re saying i’m not a dork, then?” Sans smirked, thinking he had Frisk painted into a corner. He realized that wasn’t the case when Frisk tackled him to the ground and straddled his waist, looming over him. His skull blushed bright blue. “u-uh, frisk? w-what are you…?”
He managed to blush even harder when Frisk pushed his tee shirt up. He realized what they were doing a moment too late when he saw their fingers wiggling just above his ribcage. “n-no, frisk, wait…!”
Sans burst out into hysterical laughter as Frisk assaulted his ribs with tickle-fingers, reaching in through the gaps to get to all his most sensitive places. The skeleton squirmed underneath them, whacking them weakly with his hands as he tried to get away to no avail.
“frisk, p-please, no - gah! m’sorry, m’sorry, don’t - stars, not there! no! pffthahaha! m-mercy, mercy, please! no more!” He grabbed Frisk’s arms in a weak attempt to cease the tickle torture, but he was not at all strong.
“I don’t have any mercy left today,” Frisk teased, giggling along as Sans kept thrashing around, losing all control. “Try again tomorrow.”
“that’ll be too late, t-too late!” Sans laughed, barely able to speak. Frisk eventually stopped and Sans laid back on the floor with his eye sockets closed, utterly exhausted.
“now look at what you’ve done, frisk,” Sans said between gasps for air. “congratulations, you just killed your boyfriend. tell papyrus i love him.”
“Well, I guess if he’s dead, he doesn’t get kisses anymore,” Frisk smirked.
Sans opened one eye socket a little bit so he could look at their precious, snarky little face. “well… okay. maybe he’s not that dead,” he conceded.
Smiling, Frisk wrapped their arms around him and pulled Sans into a long, slow kiss. Sans put his arms around them as well, happily drinking in all their warmth. Surface life was awesome.
That is, until the door flew open and Undyne barged into the room. “Hey, punks! What are you up… to…?” Sans and Frisk both blushed heavily as Undyne saw the human straddling Sans’ lap right over the skeleton’s half-exposed ribs. Undyne grinned wickedly. “Ohoho, I see what’s going on here. Just wait until Papyrus and Alphys hear about this!” She rushed back out the door.
“wait, undyne, this isn’t what it looks l—” Sans and Frisk shared an utterly embarrassed look as they scrambled to get off of each other and out the door. “undyne, hold on! hold on, don’t tell papyrus, he’ll never—”
Notes:
Hey, uh... I made a Tumblr? Go check that out, my name’s phantomdreamshade over there too. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.
Chapter 2: The Awesomest, Coolest, Badassiest Girlfriend Ever
Summary:
Alphys/Undyne
Undyne retells a heroic rescue story and definitely does not embellish or dramaticize it at all.
Chapter Text
“You’ll never get away with this!” Undyne shouted at the top of her lungs, throwing a spear straight at the giant faceless menace in front of her. It was an enormous, static-covered screen hundreds of stories high that stretched far past the horizons on either side.
The spear made a deafening sonic boom as it soared through the air. Some of the glass on the screen exploded into dust as it impacted, sending bolts of electricity straight at Undyne. She back-flipped out of the way, landing in a perfect battle crouch as she looked up at the screen.
The screen merely laughed with its evil, distorted voice, the spear having done nothing to stop the demon. Suddenly, the tree to Undyne’s left vanished in a burst of static.
“No!” Undyne screamed, throwing spear after spear. The screen just kept cackling as more and more stuff began to disappear. Soon, the entire world would cease to exist! There had to be something Undyne could do!
Then, in a flash of radiant white light, the most beautiful creature in the universe appeared at Undyne’s side. It was a yellow lizard-monster, wearing a long black dress with white polka-dots that flowed dramatically in the sudden wind that picked up. “Don’t worry, Undyne,” the woman said with her angel’s voice. “We can face this evil together.”
“Alphys!” Undyne cheered. “I knew you could help me!”
In another burst of light, a giant mechanical cannon appeared in Alphys’ arms. It began to charge up with a whirring sound, the evil screen reflecting off her glasses as she prepared to fire. “Undyne! Hold off the viruses while I charge the cannon!”
“Viruses?” Undyne looked around to see they were surrounded by two dozen blobs of glitchy 1’s and 0’s, all closing in on them.
Undyne slid back into her battle stance. “You got it. I’ve got your back, baby.” Undyne leapt fifty feet into the air and threw down a massive barrage of crackling, blue-green energy spears, vaporizing the army of viruses with one move. The earth cracked beneath her as she came back down with a perfect three-point landing.
“It’s charged,” Alphys said. She aimed the cannon at the screen. “Goodbye,” she said dramatically, flashing a smile as a giant white laser beam shot out from the device, straight at the screen.
“Noooooooo!” The evil screen screamed, before dissolving into a gazillion sparkles. One by one, all of the deleted things returned, and the sun broke through the clouds.
“We did it!” Undyne cheered, running over to Alphys.
“Of course we did, my love,” Alphys said, gracefully climbing into Undyne’s arms. “We are the most awesome couple in the multiverse. Nothing can stand in our way.”
Then, Alphys and Undyne had the second most awesome and passionate kiss that had ever happened in the history of everything, only behind their first kiss because nothing would ever surpass that one for the rest of time.
“AND THEN EVERYTHING EXPLODED!” Undyne screamed, finishing her story. Papyrus just looked completely bewildered, and Sans was covering his mouth in a desperate attempt not to burst out laughing.
“S-Someone hacked into our computer and I, u-um, out-hacked them,” Alphys explained.
“I have the awesomest, coolest, badassiest girlfriend EVER!” Undyne said, dragging Alphys onto her lap and kissing her on top of the head. Alphys giggled shyly.
“that was quite the rescue, al,” Sans chuckled, looking over to their computer desk to find it chock full of spear-holes. He remembered Alphys telling him that she'd redesigned most of their technology to function with a few holes in it. “you’re quite the catch, huh?”
“Hell yeah, she is!” Undyne said, and Alphys started blushing. “Now come on, I found this new anime that we all have to watch together, it looks awesome !”
Chapter 3: Double Date
Summary:
01/02 & Nice Cream Guy/Burgerpants
01 and 02 convince the Nice Cream Guy to ask someone out.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Thanks, Nick,” 01 said before sticking a nice-cream cone underneath his helmet. “Mmm, this stuff is, like, definitely the best thing for a hot summer day in the whole city.”
“...Agreed,” 02 said quietly, taking his own cone.
“Aw thanks, fellas! You two are some of my best customers,” Nick said, smiling and rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m just glad I get to spread a little love up here on the surface now.”
“You, like, do a really good job of it, too, man,” 01 said. “I mean, like, our first date was at your stand back down in Hotland and, like, now look at us! Hey, show ‘im, 02.” They both pulled off one of their gauntlets to reveal a pair of matching engagement rings.
Nick clapped with delight. “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing you guys! Congratulations!” 01 and 02 shared a smile through their armor and put their gauntlets back on before holding hands. “But, uh… don’t you guys, you know… know each other’s names by now?”
“Oh, sure, bro!” 01 laughed. “We just, like, like 01 and 02 better. 02 just sounds kinda… I dunno… kinda hot…”
“...01 sounds cuter,” 02 confessed.
“Well, whatever makes you guys happy,” Nick sighed. “I think I like my real name better than ‘Nice Cream Guy,’ though.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” 01 said. “So, what about you, bro? You got, like, anyone special you got your eyes on?”
“Eh, not really,” Nick said, blushing a little. “I mean, there’s this one guy I see around every so often, and he’s… I don’t know. Maybe I like him. We haven’t really talked all that much though.”
01’s face lit up behind his helmet. “Dude, you should, like, totally ask him out! You guys can come on, like, a double date with us tonight or something!”
“Oh, I… I don’t know,” Nick said, more than a little embarrassed.
“...Try it. You never know,” 02 said.
Nick thought about it for a minute. “You know what? You’re right, I should go for it! The worst thing he could say is no, right?”
“That’s the spirit, man!” 01 said, giving Nick a high five.
“Well, it’s about time I close up for the day, anyway. I think he gets off work right about now? Maybe I can catch him before he leaves. It’s just down the block from here.”
“Awesome! We’ll, like, meet you at that diner around the corner if all goes well, yeah?”
“Sure thing!” Nick said, locking up his stand and rushing off to catch the person he was looking for. He grabbed a vanilla nice cream before he left (he didn’t really know what this guy liked flavor-wise, but vanilla was generally a safe bet) and partially unwrapped it. He scribbled out the printed message with a pen and wrote something else before re-wrapping it.
A somewhat cat-like monster stepped outside of a nearby building, looking utterly exhausted. Poor guy. Honestly, even if this date thing didn’t work out, Nick was hoping he could at just brighten his mood a little.
“Hi there!” Nick said, and the man’s eye twitched.
“Hi,” he said, in the typical why-are-you-talking-to-me-just-leave-me-alone-to-suffer manner.
“It’s Felix, right?” Nick asked. Felix looked down at the nametag on his shirt. Someone had crossed out the original name with permanent marker and written ‘Burgerpants.’ Felix seemed just a little surprised.
“Uh… yeah,” Felix said. “Can I help you or something?”
“I just, um, wanted to give you something,” Nick said, holding out the nice cream. “You look like you had a rough day.”
“Pfft. You’re telling me,” Felix said, rolling his eyes as he took the cone. “Thanks, I guess.” He unfurled the wrapper.
Need something to cool down, hot stuff?
How about a date, handsome?
The wrapper said. Both Nick and Felix blushed as Felix saw it. Maybe that came off a little more flirty than Nick had intended. He should have gone with--
“Is this… are you serious?” Felix asked, blinking.
“Um… yeah,” Nick said, puffing out his chest a little. Sure, he was a little nervous, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be his usual, chipper self!
“You… want a date… with me?” Felix asked disbelievingly.
“Y...yeah,” Nick said, smile falling a little. “Not… not your type, I guess?”
Felix’s eyes widened. “No! I mean, yes! I mean…” he facepalmed. “Ugh, why do I have to screw up everything?” he mumbled into his hand. “Yes, I would… like to. Date. You. Go on a date, I mean, not like we’re officially dating dating or something that would be really fast I just meant that--”
“Great!” Nick said, hooking his arm around Felix’s and leading him toward the diner. “How’s the nice cream, by the way? I wasn’t sure what flavor you wanted, so I just got vanilla.”
“Vanilla’s my favorite, actually,” Felix said quietly, taking a lick. Ugh, how boring could he be? I mean, whose favorite ice cream flavor was vanilla ?
...It was really good, though.
“Hey, mine too!” Nick said. “It’s a classic for a reason.”
They arrived at the dinner, and 01 and 02 waved them inside.
“Uh, who are they?” Felix asked.
“Oh, just some buddies of mine! They thought we could go on a sort of double date! Is that okay?”
“Uh, sure,” Felix said. They all sat down together in one of the booths.
“What’ll it be, boys?” The waitress asked. She looked similarly dead inside.
“I’ll take, like, the steak I think,” 01 said.
“...Burger,” 02 answered.
“Salad,” both Nick and Felix said in unison. They looked at each other and smiled a little.
“I didn’t take you for a salad guy,” Nick said.
“I practically drown in frying grease every day at work,” Felix said. “I’ve had enough of it to last a lifetime. No, thank you.”
Nick gave him a smile. “Well, if you’re ever looking for a different job, I’ve got a spot open at the Nice Cream stand,” Nick said. “Business has really been booming lately! We’ve got flexible hours, friendly co-workers…” he pointed a thumb at himself, chuckling a little.
“You know what? I might just take you up on that,” Felix said. You know, maybe today wouldn’t turn out to be a horrible waste of time after all.
Notes:
I just wanted to point out that I didn't come up with the names for the Nice Cream Guy and Burgerpants. They actually come from another fic by NekoElena called The Bone Doctor, and they just kinda became my personal headcanons. If anyone's interested in some Male Reader/Sans stuff, I'd definitely recommend it.
Chapter 4: Sweat
Summary:
Alphys/Undyne
Alphys isn't feeling so hot after a day at the gym, but Undyne is there to remind her of something.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“ONCE MORE! WE’RE ALMOST THERE!” Papyrus shouted, jogging lightly beside Alphys. She was panting heavily, and the headband she was wearing was soaked through with sweat.
“I-I’m a trash can , not a t-trash can’t!” Alphys said. Papyrus had become very taken with the word ‘trash’ ever since Alphys had off-handedly called herself ‘anime trash’ one day. Since Undyne liked anime so much Papyrus thought ‘trash’ had become some sort of compliment. In fact, he tried to make guests to his home feel good about themselves by telling them they could visit the trash can at any time. Alphys didn’t mind; it was actually kind of adorable. She jogged the last few feet and collapsed to the ground, completely spent. Exercise was just not her thing.
“SEE? YOU DID TWO WHOLE LAPS TODAY! KEEP IT UP, AND SOON YOU WILL BE SPRINTING AROUND THE TRACK LIKE A VELOCIRAPTOR!”
Alphys giggled through her desperate attempts to get air into her body. “I-I don’t… know about t-that, Papyrus, but… thanks f-for the encouragement,” she said.
“OF COURSE! THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR,” Papyrus said, scooping Alphys up and carrying her under one arm. Between Papyrus and Undyne, Alphys had become very used to being carried like this.
Papyrus put her back on the ground as they left the track and entered the rest of the gym. She immediately withdrew on herself, embarrassed when she remembered she couldn’t hide inside of her long lab coat. It had been alright on the track - no one was really there today because it was swelteringly hot, but it was nothing compared to Hotland and Papyrus had a pretty wide range of temperature tolerances being a skeleton - but in here, Alphys felt like everyone was staring at her. She didn’t belong in a place like this, surrounded by muscle-jocks and fitness fanatics. She suddenly felt very exposed in her workout gear.
Alphys heard someone cheering and looked off to her side to see a couple of people standing around Undyne, watching her bench press a comically heavy bar. The fish-monster grunted with exertion as she pushed it away from her chest, and there was cheering again.
Undyne looked so… just… laying there, flexing her muscles, glistening with sweat…
Andshecaughtalphysstaringohmygodwhatwaswrongwithherwhywasnttheearthswallowingherwhole
“Hey, baby!” Undyne called out as she finished up, jogging over to her. Alphys blushed beet read, unable to form a coherent response. “How did training go?”
“WONDERFULLY!” Papyrus answered for her. “WE ARE UP TO TWO WHOLE LAPS NOW!”
“Aw, baby, that’s awesome!” Undyne said, smiling brightly. “I’m so proud of you.”
Alphys looked down at the ground. “Y-yeah…” she said under her breath.
Undyne picked her up. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
“N-Nothing,” Alphys said, looking around and hoping no one was looking. “I-I just kinda wanna g-go now. I’m not…” she trailed off.
“Not what?” Undyne asked, concerned.
“I-I just don’t belong here w-with all of these… a-attractive people,” Alphys said quietly.
“Wait, hold up,” Undyne said. “Are you saying you’re not attractive?”
Alphys wished she would lower her voice a little. “C-Come on, Undyne, w-we both know I-I’m not… n-not…”
“Nuh uh, this isn’t gonna fly,” Undyne said, carrying her over to a nearby mirror. She set Alphys down in front of it. “I, Alphys, am the most gorgeous monster on the entire planet,” Undyne said.
“H-Huh?”
“Say it,” Undyne demanded.
“What? I-I’m not g-gonna say—”
“We’re not leaving until you say it,” Undyne said, looking at the mirror. “Now come on. I, Alphys, am the most gorgeous monster on the entire planet.”
Alphys looked at the mirror shyly. “I, A-Alphys, am the m-most gor…” she trailed off.
“Come on, you can do it,” Undyne smiled at her. Alphys sighed and took a deep breath.
“I-I, Alphys, a-am the most g-gorgeous monster on the entire p-planet,” she said quietly.
“Now mean it,” Undyne said.
“I-I, Alphys, am the most gorgeous monster o-on the entire planet!” Alphys said, more forcefully this time. She couldn’t help but giggle a little at the silliness of it all, but… it helped.
“There we go,” Undyne said. “Hey, come over here for a second. There’s a couple of guys I want you to meet,” she said. Undyne led her over to where she’d been bench-pressing, where a beefy human man with dark skin and some sort of rock elemental were waiting.
“These are my workout buddies,” Undyne explained, walking over to them.
“So this is Alphys?” the human asked Undyne. She nodded proudly. “I knew you said she was cute, but damn , girl! How’d you manage that?” he asked, elbowing Undyne in the ribs.
“Yeah, what’s a pretty lizard like you doing with fish-brain over here?” the elemental laughed playfully, smacking Undyne on the back. She didn’t even move.
Undyne grabbed the human in a headlock and started noogying him. “I’m just super lucky, I guess,” she said, letting go of the human and grabbing the monster.
“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Alphys,” the human said, rubbing his head. “Fish-face here never shuts up about you.”
“Same time next week, Undyne?” The rock monster asked after she finished noogying him. He took a swig from a water bottle - it seemed to be filled with mud - and started walking away.
“Definitely. See you guys!” Undyne said, taking Alphys by the hand and walking down the main corridor for everyone to see. “See? They know what’s up,” Undyne said.
Alphys blushed and got a little closer to Undyne as they left the gym. “...Thanks,” she said.
“Anything for my girl.”
Notes:
This one's for everyone out there with body image issues. Just a reminder that you're beautiful and that the people who love you don't care what you look like.
Chapter 5: Responsibly
Summary:
Sans gets pranked.
Chapter Text
“heya, grillbz,” Sans sighed, sitting down at the bar. The bartender nodded lightly.
“...House special?” Grillby asked.
“nah, not tonight. i’m giving papyrus some nighttime driving lessons. he’s come a long way since we started,” Sans said. Grillby gave him a little smile and slid him a bottle of ketchup. Sans took a sip and looked down at the bottle curiously.
“you change the recipe or something?” Sans asked.
“...Bad?”
“nah. just different. got a bit of a kick to it.” Sans took another swig before looking down at the bottle again. He coughed a little. “wow, that’s, uh… got a lot of kick to it,” Sans said, coughing some more.
“...April Fools,” Grillby said, the barest hint of a smirk on his face. Sans’ eyesockets widened a little as Sans peeled back the label to reveal ‘Grillby’s Flaming Hot Sauce.’
“stars above,” Sans coughed, tears beginning to leak from the corners of his eyesockets. “okay, okay, you got me! water, please, i need water!”
Smiling, Grillby slid Sans a glass. Sans took a big gulp only to spit it out a second later. “is this vinegar?!”
“...Double April Fools.”
Practically dying at this point, Sans staggered over to a nearby unattended table and snatched the ketchup bottle off of it. He nearly gagged as he squirted a generous amount into his mouth.
“what kind of sadist puts mustard in a ketchup bottle?” Sans said, whining dramatically like a small child.
“...Triple April Fools.”
“alright, alright, you win! now would you please give me some actual water, i’m dying,” Sans said, going back to the bar. Sans sniffed the glass Grillby slid him this time before he drank it. It was actually water this time, thank the stars.
“...That was for paying part of your tab in chocolate coins this morning,” Grillby said.
“fair enough,” Sans said. “you know i’ll get it to you by the end of the week though. you know i’m good for it.”
“...Even if you’re always a week or two late,” Grillby teased. In reality, Grillby didn’t care too much. Sans was his best customer and made for some great company.
“what can i say, i lose track of time,” Sans shrugged.
Grillby looked at the clock on the wall. “...It’s about closing time,” he said.
“yeah, i better get going too. i’ll see you later, grillbz.”
Grillby looked around; everyone else had cleared out already. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. Now or never. “...Sans,” he said.
“yeah?”
“...You’ve got something on your cheek,” he said. He leaned across the bar and kissed Sans square on the teeth.
Sans immediately staggered backwards, shocked. Then he looked up at the bartender with the most wounded expression Grillby had ever seen and immediately made for the door.
“...Sans, wait,” Grillby said, trying to catch up to him. That had been way too forward. Grillby was normally a very reserved person, but his brother had just told him to go out swinging when he’d told him about his little crush on his favorite patron. He should have known it was a stupid idea. He finally caught up to Sans and put a hand on his shoulder as he prepared to open the door.
“i gotta get going, grillbz,” Sans said under his breath.
“...Sans,” Grillby sighed, trying to figure out how to apologize.
“look, i know my pranks can be kinda insufferable sometimes, but at least I’m not cruel ,” Sans said, shoving Grillby’s hand away.
Grillby looked at him, confused. “...Cruel?”
Sans looked at him as if he’d come from a different planet. “yeah, cruel. nothing like the guy you like kissing you as an april fool’s joke to ruin your day,” he said, before freezing up as he realized what words had just come out of his mouth.
“...Wasn’t supposed to be a joke,” Grillby said, soul fluttering a little when he heard that Sans liked him, too.
“you’ve officially gone too far, pal,” Sans said, trying to turn away again. Deciding he might as well go for broke at this point, Grillby grabbed Sans by the shoulders and kissed him again.
Sans was tense at first, but he gradually relaxed into the kiss. He slipped his arms around Grillby’s shoulders and Grillby’s found their way around Sans’ back. It seemed like forever until Grillby let go and Sans looked away. “you sure you’re not just trying to break my funny bone?”
“Never,” Grillby said. “...I’m sorry. I’ll leave the jokes to you from now on.”
Sans chuckled a little, blushing. “nah, i just gotta teach you a few things. gotta learn to prank responsibly.”
Chapter 6: Boundaries
Summary:
Brotherly relationship between Sans & (Asexual) Papyrus
Papyrus and Sans have a conversation about Papyrus' dating life.
Notes:
This one is a bit more serious in tone, I suppose? Just a little disclaimer.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“hey, paps,” Sans said as his brother walked in the door. “how’d date night go?”
“OH… HI, SANS,” Papyrus said, well below his usual volume. He seemed to be out of breath. Sans immediately looked over at him, worried. “IT WAS… FINE.”
“what happened?” Sans said, walking over to him. Papyrus sighed and sat down on the couch, where Sans followed him.
“I MEAN, IT STARTED OFF GREAT! METTATON TOOK ME OUT TO MTT RESORT AGAIN AND WE HAD A REALLY NICE DINNER - IT WAS A STEAK IN THE SHAPE OF METTATON’S FACE - AND THEN WE WENT TO HIS HOUSE AND WATCHED METTATON THE MOVIE: XVI. BUT, UM… ABOUT THREE HOURS INTO METTATON THE MOVIE: XVII, THE MUSIC CHANGED AND I COMMENTED THAT I THOUGHT THE PREVIOUS SONG WAS A LITTLE BETTER! AND UM, THEN METTATON SAID SOMETHING LIKE… ‘Well, darling, if this song isn’t to your liking, we could always make some sweet music in the bedroom.’”
Sans’ eyelights flickered out.
“AND THEN, UM,” Papyrus continued, “HE… PUT HIS HAND ON MY LAP? SO I KIND OF SCOOTED AWAY, AND HE ROLLED HIS EYES AND SAID SOMETHING LIKE, ‘Oh, Papyrus, please. Stop being so ridiculous! Honestly, it’s a crime you’ve made me wait this long for a little action . So why don’t you just relax and…’ UM. I, UM, DIDN’T HEAR THE REST OF THE SENTENCE BECAUSE I MAY HAVE… RAN OUT THE DOOR AND SPRINTED ALL THE WAY HOME.”
It was a couple seconds before Sans said anything. “i’m going to disassemble that bucket of bolts and sell him for scrap,” Sans said with all seriousness.
Papyrus put his hands on his hips. “SANS! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DISASSEMBLE MY BOYFRIEND,” he said.
Sans looked back at Papyrus to see him looking at the ground sullenly. Sans’ expression softened. “...sorry, bro. that wasn’t very helpful,” he sighed.
“SANS?” Papyrus asked.
“yeah?”
“I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS LATELY. I MEAN, ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE DATING NOW. AND UNDYNE TELLS ME ABOUT ALL THE STUFF SHE DOES WITH ALPHYS ALL THE TIME! THIS ONE TIME, UNDYNE TOLD ME THAT SHE AND ALPHYS USED A—”
“i don’t need to know that!” Sans said, waving his arms. “but continue.”
“RIGHT. UM, ANYWAY… PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN IT IS TO DO… THINGS… WITH THEIR PARTNERS, BUT… THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT IT, I JUST…” Papyrus sighed. “I DON’T THINK I WANT THAT, SANS. I THINK I’M… UGH, THE HUMANS HAD A SPECIAL WORD FOR IT, WHAT WAS IT… ‘ACE’?”
“yeah, i know,” Sans said with a soft smile.
“WAIT - YOU DO?! HOW?”
“i’m your brother. it’s my job to know these things,” Sans chuckled.
Papyrus looked away, embarrassed. “SO… CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION, SANS?”
“of course.”
“YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE. DO YOU LIKE… UM…”
“having sex?” Sans asked, and Papyrus blushed heavily. “doesn’t matter what i like. i’m not you.”
“IT’S JUST… EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO—”
“they aren’t you, either,” Sans said. “you’re you. and not everyone is like that, papyrus - there are plenty of people out there who feel the exact same way you do. and there’s nothing wrong with them, just like there’s nothing wrong with you. that’s just the way you are.”
“I… I KNOW,” Papyrus sighed. “IT’S JUST… THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME HE’S ASKED, EITHER. AND HE SEEMS TO GET REALLY ANNOYED WHEN I CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I’M JUST AFRAID THAT IF I DON’T… YOU KNOW… I’LL BE A BAD BOYFRIEND.”
“not wanting to sleep with him does not make you a bad boyfriend,” Sans said forcefully, putting a his hand on Papyrus’. “if anything, it makes him a bad boyfriend for pressuring you. he was never good enough for you, anyway,” he said under his breath.
Papyrus looked away nervously. “...METTATON SAYS THAT YOU’LL NEVER THINK ANYONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME BECAUSE YOU’RE OVERBEARING AND YOU SET YOUR STANDARDS UNREACHABLY HIGH,” he said.
Sans paused for a moment, surprised. Then he sighed. “...he’s not wrong,” he admitted. “you’re just so awesome that i guess i think it’s gonna be hard to find someone equally as awesome. but… i’ll settle for someone that respects you and makes you happy,” Sans said. “i’m not gonna hide the fact that i don’t like him. and it’s for a number of reasons, not just ‘cause he’s dating you. but, it’s your life and i have to let you make your own decisions. it’s just… you deserve someone that’s gonna fall head over heels in love with you, papyrus, someone that’s gonna try their hardest to make you happy every single day. just like how i know you’re gonna treat them. and mettaton? i think he’s too in love with himself to really love you, or anyone else for that matter. you’ll always come in second place to him, and that’s not fair.”
“BUT I…” Papyrus sighed, “I REALLY LIKE HIM, THOUGH! I LIKE WATCHING MOVIES WITH HIM AND HOLDING HANDS AND… CUDDLING WITH HIM… I JUST DON’T WANT ALL THAT OTHER STUFF,” Papyrus said. “DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM LOVE ME?”
Sans started holding Papyrus’ hand. “you can’t make someone love you, paps, no matter how amazing you are,” he said. “you just gotta find someone that fits with you. just because a relationship doesn’t work out doesn’t devalue either of you - it just means there’s a better match out there for both of you somewhere.”
Papyrus nodded slowly. “SO… WHAT SHOULD I DO?”
“next time you see him,” Sans began, “you gotta be direct, since he clearly isn’t taking the hints you’ve been dropping. you tell him what you told me. you tell him that you’re ace and you just don’t wanna have sex with him, now or ever. if he says you’re just nervous, or that being ace isn’t a real thing, or that it’s not fair to him, you tell him ‘no, this is who i am and this is how i feel. take me or leave me.’ and if he still doesn’t get it? you gotta buck up the courage and tell him that it’s his loss, and that it’s over. you owe it to yourself to find someone that respects you and your boundaries.”
Papyrus nodded again. “OKAY. THANK YOU, SANS.”
“that’s what i’m here for,” Sans said. “now c’mere, you’ve earned a hug.” Papyrus leaned over and Sans hugged him tightly, rubbing his back. “i love ya, bro.”
“I LOVE YOU, TOO.”
Notes:
Hopefully I represented being asexual properly. I've never actually met an ace person in real life (at least, as far as I'm aware of), so my experience with this particular kind of thing is limited. If I misrepresented something or got something wrong, don't hesitate to tell me.
Also, yes I'm that one person that doesn't ship Papyton I'm sooorrryyy but also not sorry
Chapter 7: Moving On
Summary:
Asgore/Gaster
Asgore and Gaster have morning tea together.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oh! Good morning, Doctor Gaster,” Asgore called from his flower garden. Gaster cave him a curt nod as he approached the king’s new surface home. “It is a lovely spring day, is it not?”
“I suppose so,” Gaster said. “Doing a bit of weeding, I see?”
“I actually just finished,” Asgore said. “Join me for a cup of tea?”
“Gladly.” They both smiled and went inside. Asgore washed his dirty paws thoroughly before putting a kettle on the stove and sitting down by Gaster.
“So, how have you been, old friend?” Asgore asked.
“I’ve been… alright. Learning how to adjust, one could say. My younger brothers have been particularly helpful in aiding me with overcoming my… experiences. Though of course there are some scars only time will heal.”
“I’m sure,” Asgore said. “I wish I could have done something to help you. All those memories we had together, you would think at least one of them would have stuck, but… I am sorry. I should have been a good enough friend to at least remember your existence.”
“My youngest brother didn’t even remember me, Asgore, I never expected you to. The situation was far beyond your control.”
“If you say so,” Asgore sighed. “My memories of you have been coming back slowly, though! I remember more and more about you every day.” The kettle started whistling, and Asgore got up to finish making the tea. “Oh! For example, do you remember that one time when I was showing you one of the new flowers I had purchased, and you corrected me on the name?”
Gaster looked away, embarrassed. “Vividly.”
“You became so flustered when you realized you were correcting the king. It was adorable, really. And of course I told you it was alright, but you still kept apologizing for the rest of the day.” Asgore set down a mug in front of Gaster and sat back down with his own tea.
Gaster blushed at the mention of the word ‘adorable,’ which he hid by sipping from his mug. “So… what about you, Your Majesty? How has surface life been treating you?”
Asgore’s expression saddened a little. “Alright, I suppose. Helping Frisk with their ambassador duties keeps me busy, but otherwise it has been fairly quiet. I suppose I may have been acting a little reclusive since…”
“...Things have not been going well with the Queen, I assume,” Gaster said, quietly.
“We tried to be friends again at the least, for Frisk’s sake, but… it just does not work well. I apparently do something wrong with every step I take, and there’s just so much venom in her eyes now that it makes me uncomfortable just being around her. Not to mention I have just… become too shy around her to speak my mind properly. So, we just… decided to shut things off. Permanently, this time.” Asgore stared into his tea mug.
“For the record,” Gaster said, moving a little closer to Asgore, “Had I been in your position as King, I would have made the same decisions you did. Perhaps Toriel may have been right in some ways, but… I do not think it’s fair for her to pin everything on you. You aren’t perfect, but you did do the best you could. The Queen was always the kind of person that blamed her own shortcomings on others.”
Asgore smiled sadly. “It is just hard to imagine how in love with her I was, back then. All of the time and effort we put into our relationship, and now… it seems it was all for nothing.”
“You can’t think that way, Asgore,” Gaster said, resting a hand on his paw. “Who knows. Maybe, if circumstances had been different, you would have—”
“No,” Asgore said. He looked up at Gaster. “Even when I first met her, Gaster, you knew we would not be a good match. If I had not married her, I never would have become King and… well. That probably would have been best for everyone. I am sorry I did not listen to you back then, old friend.”
“I couldn’t have known who was right for you to spend your life with, Asgore,” Gaster said. “I was just jealous of the attention you were giving her. It was like she was stealing my… best friend.”
Gaster froze in place as Asgore started holding his hand. “Are you sure that was all it was?”
“Y...Your Majesty?”
Asgore sighed at looked at something off in the distance. “Regardless of what might have been, Toriel is far beyond my reach now. It is about time I moved on, I think,” Asgore said. “What do you say, old friend? Move on together?”
Gaster finally let go of the breath he’d been holding since the day he met Asgore and relaxed, adjusting the hand that was holding Asgore’s. The king’s paws were soft and warm. “...As you wish, Your Majesty.”
Notes:
Thanks to everyone for reading! Just remember, no matter who you are, be proud of it. You are an incredible human being.