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Raindrops relentlessly pelt at the glass, and its rhythm works its way into Celia’s head, loud and repetitive. She stands before the symphony, expression blank, looking out of the windows and glass doors. Swallowing down her doubt, she flings open the doors to the balcony. The rain engulfs her in its cacophony, its noise thundering in her ears. She makes no movement to shield herself from the rain, instead, she takes the pocket watch hung around her neck into her hand. Looking at it, it’s taken quite a bit of damage from the crash. Scratches adorn the golden cover, and the watch face itself has a crack running right across the middle. And yet... it's still in perfect working condition.
Her eyes well up. She can’t stand to look at the thing sometimes. It reminds her too much of him. She turns around to face the room behind her. This whole house did. Everyday, she thinks about him. It never helps, only makes the void in her heart grow wider.
She turns back around. She’s sick of feeling empty, missing a presence that’ll never come back. And so, if he won’t come back, then she’ll join him.
Her arms hoist her up onto the balcony’s railing. She finds her footing despite the heavy rain. She takes in one last breath, and-
“Celia, no!”
Shock makes her slip on the railing, and she falls backwards onto the balcony. Alice rushes towards her as she she lays there in the rain, winded from the fall.
Her sister grabs hold of her hand and pulls her upright, slinging her arm around her shoulders and helping her back into the room. She lays her upon the couch and gives her some time to recover.
The silence yawns, waiting for either of the sisters to say something. At last Alice croaks out in a hoarse voice, “Why?”
Celia avoids her pleading eyes. “It’s him,” she winces. “Alice, you need to understand. I can’t go on like this.” Her voice breaks. “These memories; they haunt me. I want it to just stop.”
“But surely there must be some way else,” Her sister says, tears dripping down onto her dress. She takes a moment to find her words. “Celia, would-- would he want this? Would he want you to just carelessly throw your life away like this?”
“Well you try standing in my shoes then!” She suddenly lashes out, finally making eye contact with Alice, her eyes swelled with a ruddy red. “Try having the only reason you have to exist stripped away from you! Try having everything you’ve loved just disappear in an instant! Do you know what it’s like?” Her body was now wracked with sobs as she curled in on herself.
The downpour’s wails echoed.
Finally, Alice”s voice cut through the silence. “I do though.”
Celia’s red-rimmed eyes bored into her. “I’m sorry?”
“I said,” her sister answered, trying to keep her voice very even, “I know how you feel. We grew up together, cried together, laughed together, lost everything together. Why wouldn’t I understand how you felt?” Celia fell silent. She continued, her voice wavering. “But...I believe that it’s because he’s gone that we need to keep living. We can’t mourn forever, but we can celebrate. Celebrate his achievements, celebrate everything he’s done for us, celebrate the life he had. We can do that for him at the very least. After all, we’re the only ones who can preserve his memory now. And,” her voice cracked again, pausing, “if that isn’t enough. At the very very least, live for me.” Their eyes locked together and Alice gave her a melancholy smile. “I don’t know what I would ever do if I lost you too.”
Celia felt a stake of guilt pierce through her heart. Tears poured down as she chided herself for her selfishness. She pulls her sister into a tight embrace, muttering apologies as their sobs overlapped with the thundering of the rain.
••••••
Years later...
She sat at her old mahogany desk, searching through the papers that were scattered upon it. Story diagrams and drafts of novels flew all over the place until she finally found it. The ticket to her sister’s concert. With a sigh of relief, she fell back into her chair. She really should tidy up at some point. Having this much clutter would not help with productivity.
Her fingers ran over the date on the ticket. It brought a fond yet forlorn smile to her face. The day that they had lost it all. It made sense though. She had found his music sheets, practiced them for hours on end, and she was ready to show them to the world. They would get a chance to mourn—no, celebrate—the life that Hans had.
She picked up one of the photos that laid upon the desk, arms slung around each other’s shoulders, her sister’s smile as bright as the medal which hung around her neck, and herself, standing with a framed certificate in her hands. She thought back to that day when Alice had convinced her there was something more to this world than him. She had helped her to moved on and they had both found their place in the world. She gave her a new reason to live, and she couldn’t be more grateful.
She looked out the window. A genuine smile formed on her lips. Despite all the tribulations, there would always be a tomorrow. That would be enough for her.