Work Text:
sharpshooter ------> Keithk
sharpshooter (11:03): would anyone remember me if i killed myself, would i be important to anyone after?
Keithk (11:24): Lance, of course they would. What kind of question is that.
sharpshooter (11:24): but what if they won’t
sharpshooter (11:26): what if they forget all about me. what if i wasnt important enough to be remembered. even if they did remember, everyone would get over it. pidge and hunk would get over it after a few weeks. my family will get over all of it. matt, shiro, coran, and allura would all get over it in a matter of days. and you, you could get over it. everything will just be better after i do this
Keithk (11:27): See Lance, lots of people care. They all love you and care about you.
sharpshooter (11:27): they will now but what about in 2 weeks, 2 months, even 2 years. after 2 weeks, they will recover. after 2 months, i will be a memory in the back of their heads. after 2 years, ill be forgotten.
sharpshooter (11:28): see keith, all i’ll be is a distant memory that everyone will eventually forget
Keithk (11:30): Nobody can be forgotten that quickly. It’s logic and simple science.
sharpshooter (11:30): when you don't do anything good with your lifetime, people tend to forget about you and besides
sharpshooter (11:31): im sorry for putting my problems on you. im sorry i wasnt a good friend. i was an asshole. you can replace me, it's not that hard to do that
Keithk (11:31): Lance the team loves you, I love you , and i can’t have you do this.
Keithk (11:31): Please Lance.
Keithk (11:32): Don’t do this to me, the team, your family.
Keithk (11:32): Please, don’t go.
sharpshooter (11:36): im sorry keith, but we all knew this day would come
sharpshooter (11:36): this is for the best
MISSED CALL FROM PIDGEON (3)
pidgeon (11:37) :lance, please answer
pidgeon (11:37): im super worried. keith told us what's going on. please answer
INCOMING CALL FROM PIDGEON
Lance answers the phone with shaking hands to hear Pidge’s voice, sounding a little nicer than normal.
“Hey Lance, why don’t we binge watch another show and rant about it to each other at 1am.” Pidge’s voice drops to a low volume, and starts to become shaky.
“Please Lance, I’m worried. Don’t do this please.” There's a long pause. “You can’t fucking do th-” Pidge was cut off by Lance clicking the red “End Call” button.
Keithk added sharpshooter and pidgeon to Unnamed Groupchat
Keithk (11:40): Lance call the suicide hotline, talk to someone who can help you
Keithk (11:40): 1-800-273-8255
pidgeon (11:41): call it now lance, i stg if you kill yourself im gonna bring you back and fucking kill you myself
pidgeon (11:42): please lance, i need my best friend. i can’t live without you
Keithk (11:42): neither of us would survive without you, lance you have digged your way into our hearts with your bad pickup lines, dad jokes, beautiful smile that's so contagious, and your amazing personality that makes us all happy.
Keithk (11:43): Lance you fill up a hole in my heart I never knew existed, without you, that hole will be empty
sharpshooter (11:44): but that hole is like a broken arm. after a few weeks, it will heal and you’ll probably forget that you ever broke it
Keithk (11:45): but that broken arm will always be on my record. Its shows, that at one point, something happened. It never disappears
Keithk (11:45): Just let me help you Lance
Keithk (11:46): Please call the hotline
Keithk (11:46); Or I will for you
Keithk (11:46): Anything to help you get through this
sharpshooter (11:47): the only thing that will get me through this is ending it
pidgeon (11:47) lance, dont talk like that
sharpshooter (11:48): but what if it's true
sharpshooter (11:48): and you know it is
sharpshooter (11:49): if i don't kill myself were just gonna act like it never happened, like the last 2 times. we're all gonna be cautious of what we say for the next few days, then act like it never happened, and then after a few months i try to off myself once again. it's a fucked up cycle so why don't we just end it now
Keithk (11:50): i would rather go through this a million times again then to have it end. I love you too much to let that happen. you leaving won’t change anything.
Keithk (11:52): Lance?
pidgeon (11:53): fuck what do we do
pidgeon (11:53): LANCE
Keithk (11:54): MOTHERFUCKER
Keithk (11: 55): Fuck it, I’m going to his house
pidgeon (11:55): bring me with you, please, i need to make sure he's okay
Keithk (11:56): I have my motorcycle, anyway Matt could bring you?
pidgeon (11:56): its fucking midnight, of course he's not fucking awake
Keithk (11:57): Then you’re not coming. I’ll update you when I get there
pidgeon (11:57): ok, please don’t forget to update me
I tear around my room, grabbing only the necessities: a backpack to put everything in, a water bottle, 20 band-aids, gauze, neosporin, an ice pack, and my red jacket. With my phone and my keys to the motorcycle in my hand, I sprint outside and hop on my Harley. It takes about 10 minutes to get to Lance’s house, the whole time I was riding, I couldn’t help but think about what’s happening to Lance. It should’ve taken fifteen minutes, but speeding doesn’t matter when your best-friend-possible-okay-huge-crush’s life is on the line.
I pulled into the apartment complex’s parking lot, parking my bike in a random spot. It doesn’t matter where at this point. There was only one thing on my mind: Lance.
I run to the door, yank on the doorknob to find it locked. I see an open window not to far from the front door. Shit. The window is not to high off the ground so I could easily climb in through there. I think that’s the only option I have at this point. I look around to make sure no one is watching me, who am I kidding, its fucking 12:08, no ones awake. I run over to the window, and climb in.
The apartment is empty, as so it seems. I quietly walk through the house trying to find Lance, not wanting to startle him and have him do more damage to himself.
“Lance, where are you,” I say in a calm voice, trying not be really loud. “Come one Lance, where are you buddy?”
I walk around the house at a fast pace, checking every room. Its an apartment, there's not many places he can be. I check his room first since its near the front door. Nothing. Tears start to well up in my eyes.
“You’re not dying on my watch, not today, not ever.” I say loud enough for him to hear it, if he was still alive. No, I shouldn’t think like that. He’s alive, just think that, it’s going to be fine.
I hear and a loud thump from the bathroom at the end of the hall. I don’t think I’ve ever run this fast in my life. I sprint the the door to hear a quiet crying. I try to open the door but it’s locked, of course.
“I wouldn’t even bother.” Lance says quietly, almost sounding weak. His voice was shaky. God, that voice.
“Lance, please open the door. Please.” I say as more tears start to fall. No response.
“Come on Lance, please open the door.” At this point, I’m full on sobbing. He needs to open the door, I need to make sure he’s okay. He can’t do this to himself.
“Goddamnit Lance, you can’t do this. This isn’t worth it.” I sat on the ground, my back to the door and just cried.
After a while, I heard something shift inside the bathroom. Then, the door unlocked with a loud click. I open the door and find Lance on the floor with tears streaming down his face. I couldn’t bear to see him like this. I sat down next to him and slowly lay my hand on his shoulder. He turns towards me, but doesn’t make eye contact. He was still crying so to calm him down I run my hand through his hair. He seems to calm down when I do this, so I keep doing it.
“Lance I need you to sit up for me, okay, is that okay?” I say, making sure he's still awake. I need to make sure he's okay. He nods and sluggishly sits up against the wall.
I take his arm and look at the underside of it. Cuts. Lots of them. Dammit Lance. I take the Neosporin and the band-aids. I look at him as if to ask him if I can help. He nods slightly. I put a small amount on my finger and put in on the fresh cuts. Lance hisses in pain from the applied pressure. I put the band-aids on the cuts one by one, watching Lance watch me do this.
I look up to see Lance’s crystal blue eyes looking at me. We sit there for a moment just looking at each other. I see he has a large bruise on his forehead. Now we know that that thump was from earlier. On instinct, I raise my hand to it. I rub my thumb over it in circles. Lance was still looking at me. Wow, those eyes. They’re beautiful. Lance slowly leans in, as I do the same. His lips touch mine. His lips were soft and comforting. Lance pulled away and started sobbing. He hugged me while saying incoherent words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you, I just wanted everything to be over.” he said, trying to talk through sobs. I hug him tighter.
“Shhh it's gonna be okay, I promise, It’ll be okay.” I let go of the hug to grab my jacket and wrap it around him, he looked cold.
“Why don’t we go on the couch and watch a movie, how about that?” he nodded. He stood up slowly and grabbed my shoulder, using it for balance. We slowly walked towards his couch.
He sits down on the couch next to me. I grab the blanket next to me and drape it over Lance and me. I grab his laptop that was set on the coffee table in front of us and pull up Netflix. We watch Lance’s favorite movie, Grease. He always said he loved how optimistic Sandy was, that she was going to meet Danny again someday. It was a movie so, of course, they saw each other again. I wonder what would’ve happened if I could never see Lance again, that I didn’t get there in time to save him. I need to stop thinking about that and just focus on the movie.
By the time I stopped panicking I realized Lance has fallen asleep on my shoulder, so I turned off the movie and tried to have Lance lay down without waking him up. I ended up laying down and had Lance with me. I wrapped my arms around him as I fell asleep. I realized I had to text Pidge, she must be worried. So I pulled my arms out from under him and got off the couch, trying not to step on him. As I was walking to towards the bathroom I heard Lance mumble something.
“Please, don’t go.”
“I would never.”